Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Biden: Oh no. We’ve upset Big Pharma again.

Can we lighten up on the doomsday scenarios?

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

Never give a known liar the benefit of the doubt.

Chutkan laughs. Lauro sits back down.

How any woman could possibly vote for this smug smarmy piece of misogynistic crap is beyond understanding.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

This fight is for everything.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Please don’t feed the bears.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

You cannot shame the shameless.

No Justins, No Peace

Everything is totally normal and fine!!!

Another missed opportunity for Jamie Dimon to just shut the fuck up.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

Donald Trump, welcome to your everything, everywhere, all at once.

Let’s show the world that autocracy can be defeated.

If you thought you’d already seen people saying the stupidest things possible on the internet, prepare yourselves.

Israel is using food as a weapon of war. Unforgivable.

We’ll be taking my thoughts and prayers to the ballot box.

So many bastards, so little time.

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80Comments

  4. 4.

    Anya

    Oh lord! I feel like I’ve been visited by the ghost of the election past. Did you read Lady Lynn Forester de Rothschild’s stupid post at Tina Brown’s welfare rag for the rich?

  5. 5.

    Brian J

    For the most part, I’m with the sentiments expressed here.

    But let me share some good news. Via Steve Benen, we see that Brad Ellsworth won’t face Baron Hill in a primary for Evan Bayh’s Senate seat. Hill decided to support his fellow congressman this weekend. And while Ellsworth trails former senator Dan Coats, it’s only by point. He’s not well known statewide, so if he runs a good campaign, perhaps we can keep the seat. I know nothing of his politics, but if he’s only marginally less annoying that Bayh, this is probably a very good thing.

  7. 7.

    Rick Taylor

    While searching unsuccessfully for a quote I half remembered from Molly Ivins, I found this old excerpt. Things haven’t changed much. I wish Molly were still with us; we could sure use her perspective.
    __

    In many ways, Clinton is the most skilled politician I’ve ever watched work. I know it’s ridiculous to complain about a politician behaving like a politician — fish gotta swim and politicians gotta deal — but my problem with him is simply that. Too much politician in him, not enough leader, not enough fighter. He’s starting his end game now, and I believe that both Garry Kasparov and Deep Blue would tell him it’s time to change tactics.
    __
    He’s not going to get dog through a Republican Congress: Holy gopher, if hadn’t been for Bob Dole, the Senate wouldn’t even have ratified the chemical weapons ban. You can’t make deals with people who don’t want the government to work. They don’t want it to work well; they don’t want it to work at all. The Shiite Republicans aren’t interested in fixing government — they want to destroy it.
    __
    Why let them make this country worse? Why let them abolish the tax credit for investing in low-income housing when we continue to subsidize housing for Donald Trump, who gets to write off the interest on his family mansion, his New York condo, his place in the country, his villa in Aspen, his townhouse in Miami and his vacation compound in Southern California? Why cut the capital gains tax and the estate tax (so rich folks will invest more, explain the R’s) when the R’s aren’t willing to invest even $5 billion of the $112 billion needed to repair schools in this country? You tell me what’s a better investment.
    __
    I think Clinton ought to give up on trying to make deals with these folks and just start raising Cain.
    __
    Veto every piece of tripe they send him. Kick rears. Cuss and ream them out.

  10. 10.

    Ash Can

    “High” being the operative word here.

    Seriously, though, those closing ceremonies get funnier and funnier the more I think about them. And I thought Michael Buble was terrific.

  11. 11.

    LuciaMia

    I kept waiting for Robin Williams to come marching out with the mounties, singing, ‘Blame Canada!’

  12. 12.

    jl

    I skipped to opening and closing ceremonies. Thought they would be ‘Canadian’, bland and boring (that is a joke, son).

    If they got weird, probably the French influence. You can never discont the power of the French influence to weird things up.

  13. 13.

    Butch

    Well, if you’ve given up drinking for Lent, you might try my approach, which is to drink only communion wine. Saturday night I went to communion nine or 10 times, maybe more.
    But seriously, am I the only one who was ready for the Olympics to end? Don’t get me wrong – they’re amazing athletes and I would suffer serious bodily harm if I even tried most of that stuff. But figure skating has never done much for me and watching figures rocketing down the hill on some sort of board or twin boards got a little repetitive after a while.

  14. 14.

    plasticgoat

    Barnum and Bailey does the closing ceremonies. We had pizza for dinner and I had to check the mushrooms to make sure I wasn’t tripping.

  15. 15.

    LT

    That was unbelievably awful. Like Walt Diseny was literally taken from his grave and his worst ideas pulled from his rotten, corpsey ass. To think they could have stopped with The Man doing “Long May You Run” all by himself on the ice.

  16. 16.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    After watching the closing ceremonies last night, I am fervently praying that somebody from Canada will sneak arcoss the border and put some hard core drugs in whatever the planners of the annual Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade are drinking.

  19. 19.

    Evinfuilt

    Canada really left a challenge for the 2012 summer Olympics, they went all out Monty Python, now its time for London to step up to the plate, I expect Canadian Lumberjacks in high heels.

  20. 20.

    Colette

    I just un-meh’d myself by making a reservation to tour the Anchor Brewery on my husband’s upcoming 50th birthday. Gotta get that sixth decade started right, or at least adequately medicated. Fresh steam beer, mmm.

  21. 21.

    soonergrunt

    I watched that last night. I kept thinking to myself that it had been a while since I had seen a gigantor beaver, and I was feeling a little unsettled for the lacking.
    I feel much better now.

  23. 23.

    RedKitten

    It was rather Monty Python-esque, wasn’t it?

    And Michael Buble makes a damn cute Mountie, thankyouverymuch.

    I hear you about the “feh”, though. I’m fucking ZONKED. Cranky McTeethersons woke up at 5am, and has been fussy all day. Anybody want a baby for a day so that I can have a nap? Anybody?

  25. 25.

    kay

    @LT:

    I watched the whole thing and thoroughly enjoyed it.

    I didn’t watch the Olympics, either, except for peeks at figure skating. Just the closing ceremony.

    I don’t know what this says about me. I loved how odd it was. I still can’t figure out what the audience had on. They matched, right? Were those rain ponchos?

    I have to visit Vancouver now, after that.

  27. 27.

    SpotWeld

    Witht this the UK has no excuse to not include Doctor Who in the UK Olympic Ceremonies…

    Though I would be willing to settle for Stephen Fry

  28. 28.

    PaulW

    The closing ceremony tried a little TOO hard to be self-mocking, like “aha we get it, we Canadians are all drunk beaver worshippers” and… and… damn that double entendre…

    As long as they didn’t have a Cronenberg memorial as a send-off though, we should count our blessings there…

  29. 29.

    Montysano

    @Anya:

    Did you read Lady Lynn Forester de Rothschild’s stupid post at Tina Brown’s welfare rag for the rich?

    I lasted for part of one paragraph….

  30. 30.

    flukebucket

    I would wake up from time to time from a Temazepam-induced sleep only to see giant beavers on TV and hear my wife saying, “have you been stealing my pills again?”

    Thankfully I would fall back asleep pretty quickly.

  31. 31.

    LT

    @kay: I’m glad you enjoyed it. Really. I’m sure it goes well with paste. I kid! And yes, they had on rain ponchos or something – and they all had silly moose antlers at one point.

  32. 32.

    Keith G

    @RedKitten: My bro is still bleating on about the provincial minister from up your way who flew to the US for the heart opp.

    “If it so good up there….”

    Do you know of any sites that 1) track medical care stats in the land of the Giant Beaver 2) track consumer attitudes about the same?

    And, no. My two cats would be less than thrilled at any such, even temporary, addition to their domain.

  33. 33.

    JeremyH

    It was an awesome thing to be in Vancouver yesterday. The city was pandemonium for hours, it just sent shivers down my spine. Even the quiet residential streets had kids marching around blowing horns and banging pots to celebrate.

    The streets are awfully quiet this morning though – the whole city must be nursing a hangover.

    I’ve never been a big fan of the Olympics before, I guess because I only ever saw the jingoistic and/or corporate side of it on television; but in the last two weeks I’ve been lucky enough to have experienced some of the incredibly positive and welcoming energy on the streets first hand, and have come to a much better understanding of what the “Olympic Spirit” is supposed to be. I must admit – I’m very proud of my home city for pulling it all off in such style.

    /maudlinsentimentality

    [BTW… no offence, John, because I think you’re great – but “awesomesauce” only feels right coming from Ta Nehisi Coates. I feel like he should have copyright on it or something. Just sayin’…]

  34. 34.

    jibeaux

    @Keith G:

    I favor Ezra’s take on this, namely: there are 50 million uninsured Americans. There are 13 premiers in Canada. Into which of those categories would you consider yourself more likely to be headed?

  35. 35.

    Sentient Puddle

    @Peter VE:

    Watching that, I really regret giving up drinking during Lent…

    Fun facts about Lent that not many people know: Sundays don’t count. You are free to indulge on the Sabbath. You ever wonder how five weeks adds up to 40 days? That’s how.

    @Colette:

    Fresh steam beer, mmm.

    I hate you lots now. Anchor Steam is one of my favorites! One of these days, I must go to San Francisco and either tour the brewery, or at least get some of that stuff on tap…

  36. 36.

    DanF

    @Brian J:

    Ellsworth is a pro-life Democrat who voted against embryonic stem cell research. He voted against the stimulus. He is a blue dog. At a guess, he will be worse than Bayh on some issues. Baron Hill is my Congressperson, and I flat-out think he’s a tool – however he’s not as big a tool as Ellsworth.

  37. 37.

    DonBelacquaDelPurgatorio

    It was campy and certainly no more disturbing than most closing ceremonies of the Olympic stripe. Touches of comedy, which in itself is a step forward for this art form.

    “What was going on?” Seriously, somebody is having a problem figuring that out? The NBC guys explained it right at the start: It’s a big overblown party, and pretty much anything is likely to happen. How many degrees in Rocket Science does it take for even the BJ crowd to figure that one out?

    What strikes me as WTF-worthy is what in the world you were expecting.

    Also, too, Neil Young was fucking awesome.

  38. 38.

    Tsulagi

    That was kinda an Alice in Canadian Wonderland glimpse wasn’t it?

    Now if you ever dream of huge oversized hairy beavers with teeth you’ll have Canada to thank.

  39. 39.

    kay

    @LT:

    My father said today, with a lot of fake authority, “those were paper coats”.

    Okey doke. He didn’t know what the hell they were either.

    I’m glad they won on their “home ice” and I got a general good feeling from the ceremony.

  40. 40.

    Bruce Webb

    @DanF: Well at least Ellsworth wouldn’t be spending the next six years being pissed off he was passed over for VP and plotting how to stab Obama in the back.

    Which is my reading on Bayh.

  41. 41.

    geg6

    As I mentioned in the previous thread, John, real Merikins like you should not be making fun of the giant inflatable beavers.

    The closing ceremony at the Salt Lake City Olympics featured Donnie and Marie as dinosaurs and KISS on an iceberg.

    Given that, I’d take giant inflatable beavers.

  42. 42.

    kay

    @JeremyH:

    Even the quiet residential streets had kids marching around blowing horns and banging pots to celebrate.

    Oh, they’ll remember that. That’s great.

    I loved the official that thanked the committee for the Olympics and then said “we did the best we could”.

  44. 44.

    Pangloss

    The Olympics closing ceremonies looked like they were designed by William S. Burroughs on a really bad heroin trip.

  46. 46.

    Violet

    I loved the closing ceremonies. What are Olympic ceremonies without some grandeur, some pomp and circumstance, some gee-whiz amazing displays, and some WTF? moments? That was a grand, hilarious WTF? moment. Loved it!

    Vancouver and Canada put on one excellent Winter Olympics. I watched as much of it as I possibly could and am very sad it’s over. Although I was cheering for Team USA to win yesterday, it was such a great hockey game and a brilliantly fitting ending to the Games that Canada beat Team USA in overtime to win the gold. Outstanding.

    Congrats Canada for doing such a great job, especially with the iffy weather conditions and the tragic start to the Games. It all worked out very well as it went along and was tons of fun to watch. I felt like I was a part of it, even though I just watched it on TV.

  47. 47.

    satch

    Actually, it was the Chinese who set the bar impossibly high as far as pagentry goes. The Canadians probably knew they couldn’t match the Bejing ceremonies, so they went all out Theatre d’ Absurde. Actually, my favorite part was Neil Young, out there all by himself with just his acoustic guitar and harmonica in front of twenty gazillion people, singing “Long May You Run”.

  48. 48.

    Cathie from Canada

    I think the white capes were so they could use coloured lights on the audience to make pretty pictures — they did that during the opening ceremonies too.
    They handed out moose antlers with flashing lights too. The idea was to send up all the cliches people around the world (particularly America) have about Canada — that we’re nothing but mounties and lumberjacks and hockey players, with moose and beavers.
    I don’t know whether it worked or not, but I loved the flying moose!

  49. 49.

    Chinn Romney

    This is what happens to a Country when you let the children drink beer, champagne, and smoke stogies. I miss those innocent days of yore when the wimens would take off their top and run around the field in their sports bras.

  51. 51.

    Paula

    All the Ceremonies must have some form of tacky and/or stereotype-confirming element. Bjork (Athens 2004 Opening Ceremonies) was the only non-classical musician to make sense @ these things, except maybe this most recent perf by Neil Young (that song was a perfect encapsulation).

    Beyond that, the Canadians were total fail w/ Nickelback and Avril. I mean, the Arcade Fire are reasonably popular now, right? Certainly more than friggin’ Bryan Adams.

    Also:

    Apparently you have to be named Ryan to be on the US hockey team this year.

    They were also a lot more aggressive in shooting in this game than the one last Sunday. If only the US Men’s National Soccer team could manage that kind of turnaround against powerhouses like Brazil.

    Enjoy the gold medal, Canucks, but we’ll see you in Sochi.

  52. 52.

    kay

    @Cathie from Canada:

    I think the white capes were so they could use coloured lights on the audience to make pretty pictures—they did that during the opening ceremonies too.

    Thanks. I figured it was so there wouldn’t be an assortment of colors out there. Color unity.

    I liked the tragic Russians, too, set off against the cheery and triumphant Canadians.

  53. 53.

    geg6

    @John Cole:

    Gotta say that I loved Neil Young singing “Long May You Run.”

    And it still was no clusterfuck like the SLC closing. No way. I was embarrassed for my country over that one. Even more than the pickup trucks in Atlanta. We Americans suck, mostly.

  54. 54.

    Violet

    @geg6:
    That was particularly awesome. Our household was singing along with him and just soaking it in. Really excellent performance and so fitting for the Olympics.

  55. 55.

    Origuy

    The last time I was in Vancouver, it was during the Celebration of Light, an annual fireworks competition. Four teams from different countries compete to put on the best show. They do it at English Bay, which is a beautiful location. I’m not sure when this year’s event is, but it’s around the end of July.

  56. 56.

    Linkmeister

    The only time I’ve been in Vancouver was for Expo ’86, but I’m willing to go back.

    I know it was corny, but I thought all the inflatable fauna were cute, and how could I resist mini-skirted Mounties?

    I saw a tweet at SI saying “forget Nickelback; let Neil sing another eight songs.” I think the tweeter was my age.

  57. 57.

    Anton Sirius

    Beyond that, the Canadians were total fail w/ Nickelback and Avril. I mean, the Arcade Fire are reasonably popular now, right?

    Apparently, Arcade Fire are too edgy. I’m pretty sure they picked two other Montreal artists just as a fuck you to all the Arcade Fire fans, so that we’d get out hopes up each time they announced that a band from Montreal would be performing, only to have it be A Simple Plan (To Rip Off Green Day And Get Rich) instead.

  58. 58.

    LT

    @kay: Oh I’m happy for them, too. And that was Ryan Miller of MY Buffalo Sabres out there wanting to slash his wrists on international television after the game. And I was still happy for them.

    Paper? Mighta been, I guess.

  59. 59.

    Johnny's mom

    I’ve been watching the Olympics Opening and Closing Ceremonies for a couple years now (since the dawn of time), and that was, by far, the funnest one EVER!!! They used to be all dry and stodgy. snore.

  60. 60.

    Tim I

    @Brian J:

    Sorry to disappoint, but Evan Bayh is a lefty when compared to Ellsworth.

    Ellsworth is Bart Stupak’s biggest ally on killing the Healthcare Bill if it doesn’t eliminate abortion coverage for all women. He is rabidly conservative on almost every other issue.

  61. 61.

    Sophist

    Yeah, that closing ceremony is pretty much what you’d get if you hit Terry Gilliam in the head with a shovel and then asked him to direct a Busby Berkeley number about Canada.

  62. 62.

    canuckistani

    I was reminded in a big way of the Christmas in Heaven bit in The Meaning of Life. In a good way. I loved it. The Neil outweighed all the crap music.

  63. 63.

    satch

    How could the Canadian olympic organizers manage to overlook the proud daughter of Armstrong, B.C. …the lovely and talented Miss Shyla Stylez??

  64. 64.

    tcolberg

    I loved the closing ceremony. Neil Young’s solo was a wonderful breather between moments of spectacle. The giant beavers and moose were hilarious. The whole thing turned into an embrace of homey kitsch.

  66. 66.

    ono

    I missed the closing ceremony. Did they have any cherubs? I love cherubs.

    As for the metal counts, USA won, but if done per capita, we probably came in below the 50th percentile. Go figure.

  67. 67.

    DonBelacquaDelPurgatorio

    @John Cole:

    Hm. If I didn’t know you I would find this statement incomprehensible.

    But I do, so I totally get it.

    The show was great. The fact that it was sort of odd just made it better. Hey, I grew up on totally anal controlled white coifed arranged sanitized television. I really hope I never have to see another 5 mins of that kind of shit again.

    Give me sincere, crazy, what you see is what you get television. Bare tits, giant moose, obscene gestures, straight talk, I don’t care. Just do what you think is right, turn on the camera, and let it rip. I have a remote, I can choose what I watch. I have dozens of channels. I have the Intertrontubes. I have real life. I have a DVD player. I have a piano, I can make my own music. Show me the giant inflatable Mounties. I love it.

    Life is good.

    Also too, as well, did I mention? Neil Young was fucking awesome!

  68. 68.

    Ash Can

    To Bob Costas’s credit, I think he got it. He seemed to be trying hard not to laugh out loud, especially at the appearance of the giant beavers.

    I know I was a little perplexed at first, but then I realized that it was just the Canadians being their casual, quirky selves. Once I had that figured out, I was able to fully enjoy all the good-natured wackiness, including that “Made in Canada” parade. And really, what’s not to love about giant table-hockey figures dancing to the “Hockey Night in Canada” theme?

  69. 69.

    daveX99

    2 things:

    1. John: FSM bless you. I did not watch anything on TV, but kept seeing/hearing odd references to the closing ceremony on blogs & radio. OMG that picture really sez a thouzand wurds. I wet myself.

    2. @Evinfuilt:

    now its time for London to step up to the plate, I expect Canadian Lumberjacks in high heels.

    A small semantic quibble: Saying that the Brits will need to ‘step up to the plate’ sounds wrong. Do they ‘step’ in Britain? I know: they will ‘queue up to the wicket’.

    Glad to help!
    -dave.

  70. 70.

    DonBelacquaDelPurgatorio

    @Ash Can:

    Yeah, what you said too.

    What I like about the Canadians is that they have to share a border with this huge, obnoxious arrogant condescending country that can’t even make sure that its citizens can afford the pills they need to live or get the surgery they need to fix their lives, and watch us flail like hapless morons, and then act like we are superior, and then they can just be totally cool and friendly and even funny and basically say hey, this our show, hope you like it, but if not, sorry! Oh and by the way, we got our healthcare right a long time ago, sorry about yours! We love you guys!

    That’s a good neighbor. We should be thankful for them.

  71. 71.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    @DonBelacquaDelPurgatorio:

    that can’t even make sure that its citizens can afford the pills they need to live

    It doesn’t help that judging from the ads on TV, what the citizens really want is boner pills. Too bad NBC didn’t cut directly from the invasion of the giant beavers to a C-I-A-L-I-S ad. Talk about waiting till the moment is right, and then missing it.

  73. 73.

    CJ

    If you did not get a chance to see the mime open the closing ceremonies by “fixing” the torch, you missed the best part of the show.

    I could really understand everything that Shatner says as I have an 11 year old that talks over the TV in a non-stop drone.

    You have to love folks that can take a giant snafu like the broken torch and turn it into an hilarious send-up. It makes me wonder about moving to Canada, but then Minnesota is cold enough thank you.

    CJ

  74. 74.

    toujoursdan

    Vancouver and Victoria aren’t that cold.

    I was pretty mortified when I watched it with my American boyfriend. But as we talked about after I began to see it for the tongue-in-cheek humour it was.

    Still, I would have traded RUSH for Nickelback in a heartbeat. And I am a big fan of Marie-Mai (the punk Quebec singer) but that was one of her weakest songs.

  75. 75.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @RedKitten:

    I would SO borrow SamKitten, cranky teething or not, for a day or as long as you needed to rest. He is TEH CYOOT!

  76. 76.

    Corner Stone

    I am so traumatized by all the talk about giant beavers I’m going to need therapy now.
    Damn you Canada!

  77. 77.

    Paula

    I’m pretty sure they picked two other Montreal artists just as a fuck you to all the Arcade Fire fans, so that we’d get out hopes up each time they announced that a band from Montreal would be performing

    Don’t forget Of Montreal (hehe) … there was also a musician who went by the name Manitoba until he got in trouble w/ the provincial gov’t … now he calls himself Caribou.

    “And that was Ryan Miller of MY Buffalo Sabres out there wanting to slash his wrists on international television after the game.

    He seemed to have recovered sufficiently for the Closing, smiling and taking pics. If he really is depressed, well … 26.7 million people watched the game in North America, and I’m willing to bet that more than a few of them would be willing to buy him a beer or two.

  78. 78.

    sloan

    We’re up here on Vancouver Island and we started laughing our asses off as soon as Shatner hit the stage and then it was just guessing which bad stereotype would show up next. I called the beavers. Expected dancing maple syrup but didn’t get it. It looked like a tourist shop threw up on the floor of BC Place. But no Kraft Dinner? (Ask a Canadian. I think it’s called “Macaroni and Cheese” in the states. Weird.)

    Neil Young: yes!

    Avril, Nickelback and whothefuckelse: NONONO.

    And if they wanted a Canadian band how about the Tragically Hip? I mean jesus h christ I’m not that old and never even heard of Hedley. Am I old? Seriously. The Hip. WTF?

    Anyways all I cared about was the hockey. I’ve been looking forward to that game for 7 years.

    WOOOOOHOOOOOO!

    And yes, hockey really is bigger up here than everything else combined in the states. There’s a reason Gretzky was hangin’ with the Prime Minister at all the hockey games.

  79. 79.

    heydave

    The Oliolympics evolved from lame and sad to: women smoking cigars, curling, curling and curling and then this?
    Hell yes!!1!

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