Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

Republicans in disarray!

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

I didn’t have alien invasion on my 2023 BINGO card.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Everybody saw this coming.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

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Playing with the boys

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I love explanations like this:

“I should have never allowed myself to be as familar with my staff as I was, I never translated my days in the Navy to being a Congressman,” Massa said.

Beck asked Massa whether he ever groped members of his staff sexually. “No,” said Massa. “When you take things out of context in D.C., this is what its all about”

Massa also stood by his descriptions of lewd conduct that he has said routinely occurs in the Navy. Beck joked that perhaps Massa could show him a “tickle fight” in the Navy.

“I’m gonna show you a lot more than tickle fights,” said Massa. He also added: “Can you imagine transporting back to this today? It looks like an orgy in Caligula. And anybody that’s been in the Navy knows it.”

In Massa’s defense, this took place in the Navy:

Reader Interactions

51Comments

  2. 2.

    Midnight Marauder

    “Now they’re saying I groped a male staffer. Yeah, I did,” Massa also said. “Not really grope him. I tickled him ’til he couldn’t breathe and then four guys jumped on top of me. It was my 50th birthday.”

    Without a doubt, this is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever read.

    And gayest. Definitely can’t forget about the gay.

  10. 10.

    freelancer

    Sid: You want subversion on a massive level. You know what one of the greatest fucking scripts ever written in the history of Hollywood is? Top Gun.
    …
    Duane: Oh, come on.
    …
    Sid: Top Gun is fucking great. What is Top Gun? You think it’s a story about a bunch of fighter pilots.
    …
    Duane: It’s about a bunch of guys waving their dicks around.
    …
    Sid: It is a story about a man’s struggle with his own homosexuality. It is! That is what Top Gun is about, man. You’ve got Maverick, all right? He’s on the edge, man. He’s right on the fucking line, all right? And you’ve got Iceman, and all his crew. They’re gay, they represent the gay man, all right? And they’re saying, go, go the gay way, go the gay way. He could go both ways.
    …
    Duane: What about Kelly McGillis?
    …
    Sid: Kelly McGillis, she’s heterosexuality. She’s saying: no, no, no, no, no, no, go the normal way, play by the rules, go the normal way. They’re saying no, go the gay way, be the gay way, go for the gay way, all right? That is what’s going on throughout that whole movie… He goes to her house, all right? It looks like they’re going to have sex, you know, they’re just kind of sitting back, he’s takin’ a shower and everything. They don’t have sex. He gets on the motorcycle, drives away. She’s like, “What the fuck, what the fuck is going on here?” Next scene, next scene you see her, she’s in the elevator, she is dressed like a guy. She’s got the cap on, she’s got the aviator glasses, she’s wearing the same jacket that the Iceman wears. She is, okay, this is how I gotta get this guy, this guy’s going towards the gay way, I gotta bring him back, I gotta bring him back from the gay way, so I’ll do that through subterfuge, I’m gonna dress like a man. All right? That is how she approaches it. Okay, now let me just ask you – I’m gonna digress for two seconds here. I met this girl Amy here, she’s like floating around here and everything. Now, she just got divorced, right? All right, but the REAL ending of the movie is when they fight the MIGs at the end, all right? Because he has passed over into the gay way. They are this gay fighting fucking force, all right? And they’re beating the Russians, the gays are beating the Russians. And it’s over, and they fucking land, and Iceman’s been trying to get Maverick the entire time, and finally, he’s got him, all right? And what is the last fucking line that they have together? They’re all hugging and kissing and happy with each other, and Ice comes up to Maverick, and he says, “Man, you can ride my tail, anytime!” And what does Maverick say? “You can ride mine!” Swordfight! Swordfight! Fuckin’ A, man!

    Thank you, Quentin.

  11. 11.

    Tax Analyst

    So I guess Massa was in the “Village People” section when he was “In The Navy”, eh?

  13. 13.

    dmsilev

    “Rum, buggery, and the lash” as Winston Churchill said about the Royal Navy and it’s traditions. I’m going to guess that alcohol was involved, so we’ve got two out of three. So far.

    -dms

  14. 14.

    bkny

    watching the beck clip on countdown — oy, his poor wife watching this public crazy.

    tickle fights…

  15. 15.

    gbear

    @Zam:

    Just imagine what would happen if we let them be openly gay.

    Probably sitting at home watching TV bored shitless. Sigh. I feel very old tonight.

  20. 20.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @aimai:

    As a naval officer I abhor the implication that the Royal Navy is a haven for cannibalism. It is well known that we now have the problem relatively under control, and that it is the RAF who now suffer the largest casualties in this area. And what do you think the Argylls ate in Aden. Arabs? Yours etc. Captain B.J. Smethwick in a white wine sauce with shallots, mushrooms and garlic.

  21. 21.

    demo woman

    In an earlier thread someone linked to Cilliza’s twitter page. Cilliza said that Larry King’s show tonight is now must see tv.
    Sometimes I miss my 60 dollar cable bill. oh well!

  22. 22.

    FlipYrWhig

    @freelancer: That’s a really good analysis of _Top Gun_. Speaking as an academic type, that goes a long way towards negating my embarrassment at that Stanley Fish analysis of Bush nostalgia.

  23. 23.

    Annie

    What a good day. Finally a demonstration FOR HCR, and then the winguts got “out-nutted” by someone they thought would give them more ammunition against the administration.

    Despite the emergency and fast flying emails, and Twitters, and blogs warning other wingnuts to stay away from Massa, Beck just couldn’t help himself to his special broadcast. I love it. Massa made both of them look particularly crazy. Administration 1, wingnuts 0….

  24. 24.

    FlipYrWhig

    “Don’t talk to me about naval tradition. It’s nothing but rum, sodomy, and the lash tickle fights.”

  26. 26.

    WereBear

    I’m sure they went through and got clips of everything Massa said that could have a double meaning on purpose.

    But there were so many of them.

  27. 27.

    Origuy

    I didn’t watch it, but it almost sounds like Massa decided that if he has to go down (so to speak), he’s going to take Beck with him.

  29. 29.

    Ked

    I do believe Charles Johnson (who vaguely live-blogged (well, live-commented – the way LGF is set up for members really more resembles a chat room) the Beck appearance) summed it up the best.

    So very, very sorry.

    Also, that’s gotta be one of the top Beck quotables ever.

  33. 33.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    @dmhlt: Sounds like the married father of three has been [ahem] switching more than parties.

    Sorry:

    I’m gonna show you a lot more than tickle fights, ^I’m gonna show you why they call me Massa!

    Fxd.

    Oh look, the 9:00 Hell-bound Hand Basket Express is here.

  35. 35.

    Comrade Scrutinizer

    @freelancer:
    The Big Gay Marine (one of my roomies for a time) used to drool over the volleyball scene anytime we watched Top Gun. He also said the Kelly McGillis/Tom Cruise scene wasn’t so much a heterosexual encounter as it was a mish-mash of confused sexuality, which adds a whole ‘nother layer of complexity to Sid’s comments.

  36. 36.

    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford

    I just checked in with Larry King and the first question I hear Larry ask is, “Are you gay?”

    They be bringin’ the crazy.

  42. 42.

    Anya

    The most enjoyable part of the the whole thing is how defeated Glen Beck looked. At the end he looked like he was going to cry.

  43. 43.

    calipygian

    Once upon a time, young Seaman Calipygian serving on the USS Midway heard that a bunch of guys in a division down the p-way got the clap in the middle of an agonizingly long underway period during the Gulf War. The explanation was that there was a blowup doll that some one flew on board with that was dirty.

    Now, Im not so sure…

  44. 44.

    Comrade Mary

    @Anya:

    The most enjoyable part of the the whole thing is how defeated Glen Beck looked. At the end he looked like he was going to cry.

    In other words, it’s Tuesday.

  45. 45.

    Yutsano

    @Comrade Scrutinizer:

    The Big Gay Marine

    Hey, I gots me one of these, and besides the eye candy he thinks the movie is just meh. I think it’s the whole ulitmately being a division of the Navy thing coming out every now and again.

  47. 47.

    AxelFoley

    @Origuy:

    I didn’t watch it, but it almost sounds like Massa decided that if he has to go down (so to speak), he’s going to take Beck with him.

    I see what you did there.

  50. 50.

    gopher2b

    The idea that Tom Cruise could spike a volley ball just made me laugh on a day that is difficult to laugh. Thanks for that.

  51. 51.

    Sad_Dem

    I remember being told to shut up in a theater when I couldn’t stop from cracking a joke or two during the love scene between Tom Cruise and Kelly McGillis. And I am not one to talk in the theater. She came out, but it looks like Massa and Cruise are just a couple of regular guys who like to tickle away those body thetans.

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