Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

Oppose, oppose, oppose. do not congratulate. this is not business as usual.

Stop using mental illness to avoid talking about armed white supremacy.

Hey Washington Post, “Democracy Dies in Darkness” was supposed to be a warning, not a mission statement.

“Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on.”

Bark louder, little dog.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

Hey hey, RFK, how many kids did you kill today?

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

Today in our ongoing national embarrassment…

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

Today’s gop: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

We need to vote them all out and restore sane Democratic government.

Republicans in disarray!

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Prediction: the gop will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

People are weird.

One lie, alone, tears the fabric of reality.

He seems like a smart guy, but JFC, what a dick!

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

The media handbook says “controversial” is the most negative description that can be used for a Republican.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

You are here: Home / Who Ordered the Code Red?

Reader Interactions

69Comments

  5. 5.

    Felonious Wench

    This is going to be GOOD. The humor potential is so enormous!

    “Fellow Teabaggers, we must unite against the hijacking of our government! We must go Code Red together!”

    God, they’re fun.

  13. 13.

    Mike in NC

    Wingers are very good at picking inappropriate names for their misadventures, like ‘Operation Iraqi Freedom’.

  15. 15.

    Houstonian

    Of course they called it Code Red. They all want to be Jack Nicholson – playing acting as a tough-as-nails soldier in the movies, but smoking, drinking, and banging hot young chicks in real life. What’s not to love?

  16. 16.

    JasonF

    I’ve come to the conclusion that there is a sizable portion of the U.S. populace that does not understand that Nicholson’s character is intended to be the villain in that movie.

  17. 17.

    Legalize

    Handy list with Top 10 Benefits that will go into place immediately following the signing of Health Care Reform.

    http://bit.ly/cNShPj

    11. Coast to coast teabagger temper tantrums and head explosions

  18. 18.

    J.W. Hamner

    We call fire Dr. Red for reasons I don’t particularly understand. Maybe the patients who caught on to the secret meaning of Code Red were thrown of the scent by pretending we have a Doctor with the last name of Red who is strangely always paged when the fire doors close?

  21. 21.

    Ash Can

    Maybe the next rally will be “Code White,” and the one after that “Code Blue.” Wouldn’t that be nice and patriotic?

  22. 22.

    aimai

    Along with all the “ides of march” crap I just don’t find this stuff funny. The majority of these imaginary protesters are too old, and fat, and confused to manage to get themselves off the lazy boy and into the street. But a few of them are certifiable loonies and it just takes a few more of these armed and dangerous types to shoot up more of our public spaces and attack our political leadership.

    aimai

  25. 25.

    Mike in NC

    @aimai:

    The majority of these imaginary protesters are too old, and fat, and confused to manage to get themselves off the lazy boy and into the street.

    We had a teabagger sighting on our very own street.

    Always knew the guy was a crank, but he’s confirmed it with one of those yellow Revolutionary War rattlesnake flags the nuts have appropriated as ‘their’ symbol.

    It’s flying from the garage, which is where he parks his Hummer and a gas-guzzling muscle car convertible.

    They own a third car as well, and collect nice pensions and have great medical benefits (including a service-related disability from Uncle Sam). The irony is just too much.

    If I were to ask, “Bob, I see that you have yours, but screw everybody else, right?” I know he’d laugh and say, “HELL YES!” and then tell me to get off his lawn.

  26. 26.

    Kryptik

    @JasonF:

    You only just came to that conclusion?

    Most people only heard his speech out of the context of the movie. It’s like Jules in Pulp Fiction, quoting Ezekiel solely based on how tough it sounds, not understanding its actual meaning.

  28. 28.

    El Cid

    @JasonF:

    I’ve come to the conclusion that there is a sizable portion of the U.S. populace that does not understand that Nicholson’s character is intended to be the villain in that movie.

    Maybe, but I think they’re just as likely to get it but ignore it as liberal propaganda and choose to cheer the strong and heady Nicholson over the legal technicality wimps.

  29. 29.

    Ana Gama

    Rumor has it that the Barnum & Bailey circus is in DC today, and will be having a parade about the same time as the teabaggers rally.

  31. 31.

    Ash Can

    @Ana Gama: You’ll be able to tell which is which, though, because one will feature loads of elephant shit, and the other…

    On second thought, never mind.

  32. 32.

    Bob L

    You all missed another twist on “code red”; red = Republican.

    The Tea Baggers are dropping all pretense of not being a sock puppet for the GOP.

  33. 33.

    JGabriel

    Code Red is also a variation of the drink, Mountain Dew.

    It’s also a computer worm, which means the Teabaggers are … OH MY GOD THEY’RE REPLICATING!

    .

  34. 34.

    Ash Can

    @Bob L: I saw that right away. I didn’t find it remarkable, though, because I never thought they were putting any real effort into passing themselves off as nonpartisan in the first place.

  35. 35.

    flounder

    @4tehlulz
    Nothing like a bunch of angry 70 year olds jacked up on so much caffeine that they start screaming and frothing at the mouth.

  36. 36.

    Violet

    @aimai:

    Along with all the “ides of march” crap I just don’t find this stuff funny.

    The Ides of March stuff freaks me the hell out. I mean, Caesar was murdered, for crying out loud. All it takes is one wingnut loon who thinks he’s playing the part of Brutus to go after Obama. It’s not really all that far fetched considering how many of them come to various teabagger events fully armed.

    I really hope nothing like that happens. Hopefully the President would be protected by the Secret Service, but even if he is, innocent bystanders can get hurt too. It’s all horrible to contemplate.

  37. 37.

    Andy

    I thought red also had gay connotations in relation to fisting.

    May be the code red people are now into fisting after getting bored with tea bagging.

  38. 38.

    Punchy

    My wife refers to a “code red” as the instant she needs…uh….you know….that thing…for that…uh….time.

    News you can all use.

  39. 39.

    AB

    @JasonF:

    This.

    Isn’t the whole point of the new America that we do anything possible to keep America safe, even things that don’t keep America safe?

  40. 40.

    DAmned at Random

    Like JW Hammer, the hospital I worked at called fires as Dr Red (usually a psych patient set the curtains on fire) and traumas were code red.

    The teabaggers do need a better slogan – one that fits on a bumper sticker and uses words of 2 syllables or less – that’s why Death Panel resonated with them. How about the motto of toddlers and lolcats: DO NOT WANT. Covers a lot of situations – health care, financial regulation, cap and trade. No need to print new signs.

  41. 41.

    eric

    @El Cid: what makes the movie so bad (aside from demi moore and tom cruise) is that Nicholson’s character was so cartoonish as to diminish the impact of the deed. The same is true of Sutherland, but he was more of a tool so it is more understandable. A good filmmaker would make Nicholson’s character less grotesque and more nuanced. (We see the same in Platoon with Stone’s typical heavy handedness.) By contrast think of Alec Guiness in Bridge Over River Kwai.

    In truth, there are times that people do things that are wrong they probably make do make us safer. On the whole, however, such black deeds are wrong as they undermine our values.

    Nicholson’s character and the tea baggers fear nuance because it then values reason, and education because it is not merely visceral. The same is true for the religious zealots who fail to comprehend that sometimes “abosolute” values clash, requiring a measured weighing of options and outcomes. By de-valuing nuance, you can devalue that which separates the tea baggers from the educated elites.

    This same phenonenom played itself out during the Second Great Awakening, when itenerant non-intellectualized preachers flourished and the elite religions of the northeast floundered.

    eric

  42. 42.

    El Cid

    @eric: I’m pretty sure that the film’s lack of nuance was one of the reasons it’s so widely beloved. A lot of people like it better when it’s dumbed down and cartoonish. Well, at least cartoonish. If I have to see another hip hop artist proud of his Scarface memorabilia…

  43. 43.

    catclub

    Mike in NC said:
    “Wingers are very good at picking inappropriate names for their misadventures, like ‘Operation Iraqi Freedom’.”

    Renamed from “Operation Iraqi Liberation”
    by the wingnut who can read without moving his lips.

  44. 44.

    patrick

    Nothing like a bunch of angry 70 year olds jacked up on so much caffeine that they start screaming and frothing at the mouth.

    spike their tasty beverages with Miralax, and then they can declare a code brown….

  45. 45.

    Pangloss

    I certainly hope the Interstate Highway System, the DC Metro, National Airport, Amtrak, and the US Park Police are all functioning efficiently so these people can get into DC to protest Big Government.

  46. 46.

    RSA

    @Ash Can:

    Maybe the next rally will be “Code White,” and the one after that “Code Blue.”

    I had a friend in college who introduced me to TSOL, in particular to their song Code Blue. That would be an interesting teabagger anthem.

  48. 48.

    The Moar You Know

    I had a friend in college who introduced me to TSOL, in particular to their song Code Blue.

    @RSA: Ahhh, memories. That song was my introduction to punk rock, and punk rock assuredly saved me from becoming one of those overserious prog rockers who must jam eleventy-billion notes into a 13/8 time signature.

    Something I can do, BTW, but nobody wants to listen to that.

    But yeah, Code Blue made me laugh my ass off, and saved me from a life spent as a pretentious jackass. I have a lot to thank that song for.

  49. 49.

    fbihop

    Whenever I see a clip from A Few Good Men, I’m reminded that David Iglesias, one of the U.S. Attorneys fired by Bush for political reasons, is one of the JAG lawyers that Tom Cruise’s character is based on.

  50. 50.

    Remember November

    Code Red…Red State…it’s an overt takeover by the ex-Soviet Politboro in the guise of the Freedom!

    Or they could be Mt. Dew fans.

  51. 51.

    DanFromMo

    As a proud TeaPartier and member of the Party of NO, I am here to tell you that if this bill passes, Progressives own it! And it will haunt them for years if not Decades! I predict constitutional Dems will abandon the Progressives…

    And this makes me very happy!

    And I know that Progs will deny this possibility, which makes it possible and likely!!

    Either way, we win.

    Either way, this country is bankrupt and we are all going down. This should make us all sad. We all lose soon!

  56. 56.

    Tom

    “Andy
    I thought red also had gay connotations in relation to fisting.
    May be the code red people are now into fisting after getting bored with tea bagging.”

    Andy, you sure know alot about this gay stuff. Keep bending over, I’m sure it fits…….

  57. 57.

    asiangrrlMN

    They should call it Code Orange so they can match the alert color the airports have been on since the fucking system came into practice. Meaningless bullshit.

  58. 58.

    licensed to kill time

    @Mike in NC:

    Wingers are very good at picking inappropriate names for their misadventures, like ‘Operation Iraqi Freedom’.

    How about ‘Operation Enduring Freedom’ ? I always pictured Afghans trudging along, heads bowed, enduring their freedom.

  61. 61.

    Tom

    @catclub: The name has been changed to Operation New Dawn. If you want to hate the military so much at least get the name right. BTW, from someone who’s been there, there’s nothing like an exploding Iraqi head………

  62. 62.

    Mike G

    a term that means “fire” in a hospital

    In my hospital we have an unofficial term “Code Brown” for a, er, patient mishap requiring urgent janitorial services. I think that would suit the douchebaggers better.

    For people who hate ‘soshulism’ (when it’s not THEIR soshulism, that is) they certainly have a taste for the bombastic heroic labels of Soviet propaganda.

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