Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Republicans choose power over democracy, every day.

One lie, alone, tears the fabric of reality.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

“That’s what the insurrection act is for!”

Pelosi: “He either is stupid, or he thinks the rest of us are.” Why not both?

The low info voters probably won’t even notice or remember by their next lap around the goldfish bowl.

Hey hey, RFK, how many kids did you kill today?

Don’t expect peaches from an apple tree.

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

Marge, god is saying you’re stupid.

You’re just a puppy masquerading as an old coot.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Republicans want to make it harder to vote and easier for them to cheat.

Republicans don’t trust women.

So many bastards, so little time.

I have other things to bitch about but those will have to wait.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

‘Museums aren’t America’s attic for its racist shit.’

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

If you thought you’d already seen people saying the stupidest things possible on the internet, prepare yourselves.

Republicans don’t lie to be believed, they lie to be repeated.

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Reader Interactions

96Comments

  1. 1.

    Zifnab

    Putting an intelligent, qualified, young Persian woman on the panel would be nothing more than affirmative action for smart people.

  3. 3.

    beltane

    Please think of the poor white males of privileged birth. How shall they ever fend for themselves when that silver spoon is yanked out of their mouths? How will they ever be able to compete in a world where the game is not rigged in their favor? How can you be so insensitive to the great burden of mediocrity they are forced to bear?

  8. 8.

    WillC

    first time i can think of that i have seen tucker w/out a bow tie…any way not much of an improvement…love his high waters and his armani mocassins

  9. 9.

    Brian J

    @Tom65:

    Seriously. And what’s with the shorter pant length? I thought only girly man Europeans wore than look any longer.

  11. 11.

    Menzies

    @djork:

    I think he said he was going to stop wearing bowties because he “wanted to give his neck a break.” As others put it before me, I’m not sure he realized just how many other people also want to give his neck a break.

    I have to admit I’m no master of haberdashery, but I don’t get how someone manages to so consistently and completely look like the essential combination of moron and douche.

  13. 13.

    beltane

    @Tom65: That uniform is akin to a sign saying “Punch Me”. Carlson just exudes prep school douchiness from every thread of his wardrobe.

  15. 15.

    The Grand Panjandrum

    @J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford:

    Is Tucker Carlson wearing capri pants?

    Heh. That was my first thought but then I realized they let him sit in the old men’s section so he had to wear pants a little longer than his usual knickers. I like the anklets with deck shoes. Nice touch, and oh so, preppie. He just doesn’t want to grow up.

  16. 16.

    WillC

    maybe not capri pants, hell they maybe shorts saggin down on his ass going with that hip hop conservatism changes a man

  17. 17.

    Violet

    @Tom65:
    Lolz. I was thinking the same thing. It’s Tucker’s socks and shoes that really make it for me. It looks like he’s had those shoes since the 80’s.

  18. 18.

    Punchy

    Wait….wait just….a….minute. Everyone else is dressed in a professional suit, and Tucker is wearing bright fucking white pants, Hippie socks, and what looks like moccassins for shoes?

    We have a new illustration for “douchebag” in Websters.

    Edit: Wow, I see like 7 other peeps beat me to it. /sigh

  19. 19.

    aimai

    I think its impossible to overstate how terrifying the phrase “speaks Farsi” (or Spanish, French, German, Japanese, Russian, Arabic, etc…) is to these affirmative action babies. Learning to be seriously fluent in one or more foreign languages, like learning actual math or higher level physics, is not the done thing in American higher education for liberal arts/poli sci types. Anyone remember the major Zombies eat your brains moment between John Cole and Jonah Goldberg? From Sourcewatch:

    Goldberg recently disparaged Prof Juan Cole in one of his columns, and followed-up abusive comments in a blog. Cole replied:__
    I think it is time to be frank about some things. Jonah Goldberg knows absolutely nothing about Iraq. I wonder if he has even ever read a single book on Iraq, much less written one. He knows no Arabic. He has never lived in an Arab country. He can’t read Iraqi newspapers or those of Iraq’s neighbors. He knows nothing whatsoever about Shiite Islam, the branch of the religion to which a majority of Iraqis adheres. Why should we pretend that Jonah Goldberg’s opinion on the significance and nature of the elections in Iraq last Sunday matters? It does not.__
    Jonah Goldberg was a cheerleader for the unprovoked, unilateral US attack on Iraq. The reason he repeatedly gave was that Iraq was close to having a nuclear weapon.…__
    Extremist rightwing hawks like Jonah Goldberg used their privileged position as pundits to terrify the US public that Iraq was a threat to the US. He repeatedly said in the buildup to the war that Iraq was a menace to the US, and he repeatedly brought up North Korea’s nuclear weapons as a reason for a preemptive attack on Iraq.
    Iraq never has had nuclear weapons. Iraq never has been as close as two decades from having nuclear weapons. Iraq dismantled all vestiges of its rudimentary and exploratory nuclear weapons research in 1991. Iraq did not have a nuclear weapons program in 1992, 1993 and all the way until 2002, when Jonah Goldberg assured us Americans that we absolutely had to invade Iraq to stop it from imminently becoming a nuclear power just like North Korea.
    By the way, I am in print in January 2003 saying that I did not believe Iraq posed a danger to the United States. It did not.
    If Jonah Goldberg had asserted that he could fly to Mars in his pyjamas and come back in a single day, it would not have been a more fantastic allegation than the one he made about Iraq being a danger to the United States because of the nuclear issue. He made that allegation over and over again to millions of viewers on national television programs, to viewers who trusted his judgment because CNN and others purveyed him to them.__
    Jonah Goldberg is a fearmonger, a warmonger, and a demagogue. And besides, he was just plain wrong about one of the more important foreign policy issues to face the United States in the past half-century. It is shameful that he dares show his face in public, much less continuing to pontificate about his profound knowledge of just what Iraq is like and what needs to be done about Iraq and the significance of events in Iraq.__
    …
    So let me propose to him that we debate Middle East issues, anywhere, any time, he and I. Otherwise he should please shut up and go back to selling Linda Tripp tapes on Ebay.
    —Juan Cole, Jonah Goldberg Embarrasses Himself Once Again, February 5, 2005.

    As someone who should have been more fluent in Nepali and French than I was I can tell you that the scariest thing of all to these puffy dough boys is that the entire book of world diplomacy, history, and analysis is entirely shut to them–and open to women like Amanpour.

  21. 21.

    beltane

    @Violet: Remember that old book from the ’80s, The Preppie Handbook?

    You might not remember it, but Tucker surely does.

  22. 22.

    eric

    No one has said anything yet, but dont you think Cokie has to be a weeeeeeeee bit pissed off given how dutifully she has serviced the cock of vapid conventional wisdom all these years after working her way to the top by virtue of the fertilization of her mom’s egg by her senator-dad’s semen.

    that is all.

  24. 24.

    ajr22

    Do you think he dresses like that because he is delusional and thinks it looks good, or because he thinks dressing like a douchebag will make him stand out aka bow tie?

  28. 28.

    Liz

    @WereBear:

    Word. MY first thought is how I’d love to smack that smug look right off his face.

    I’m in a bad mood today.

    Editing to note: I should’ve realized that I’m not the only one Tucker pisses off. <3

  29. 29.

    beltane

    @Punchy: And the cup of coffee. It’s like he rushed in late to class, hung over after a night of drinking and dorking.

  32. 32.

    beltane

    Let’s all sit in the back of the classroom and throw paper airplanes at Tucker Carlson. Those old guys sitting there are too full of themselves to ever notice.

  34. 34.

    Face

    Anyone remember the major Zombies eat your brains moment between John Cole and Jonah Goldberg?

    I see what you did here.

  36. 36.

    Adam Collyer

    Question for those of you in the know. I’m looking for a relatively concise explanation of the Medicare Part D “donut hole” that’s now being covered by the reform act. It’s good that we’re covering people who fall into the gap, but what creates that gap? Is this fix good enough to cover?

    Just curious, since it’s the one part of the program I don’t know much about.

  37. 37.

    geg6

    That picture would still be completely full of fail even if Tucker wasn’t dressed like some weird nightmare version of a homeless prep schooler.

    Craig Crawford makes my skin crawl just as much as Carlson does even if he does, apparently, know how to dress himself.

  38. 38.

    Brian J

    @aimai:

    Not that Amanpour doesn’t appear to be a professional, but she hasn’t said anything even remotely controversial as she has been picked, yet there’s been an uproar over her selection. (In fact, she’s barely said anything at all.) Maybe ABC News President Drew Westin knew the reaction would provoke such a response and did it to drum up interest in the show.

  39. 39.

    someguy

    Amanpour isn’t young. But other than that…

    Seems like we need a reverse affirmative action to drive white men out of politics. For the most part, they’re the ones fucking everything up. Can we try something new? Or do we just need to double down on white men?

  41. 41.

    GReynoldsCT00

    @ajr22:

    and let’s not overlook the socks that are all sagged down so we have to look at his hairy ankles too

  42. 42.

    geg6

    @Brian J:

    Nah. I’m thinking that somehow Westin didn’t get the memo about the fact that Sharia Law governs the choice of Sunday morning bobblefest hosts. Along with KKKlan rules.

    woman + brown person = no Sunday bobblehead hosting for you!

    And yes, I know she is not a brown person. But apparently Tom Shales says she is, so…

    Edited to add: That tag line at the top about the 42 thing? I don’t get it. At all. It was up there the other day and everybody but me seemed to get it, so I didn’t ask then. But I gotta ask now. WTF does that mean?

  44. 44.

    Joshua Norton

    And now there they are – Tucker C and his C-men doing their rendition of “Why can’t you love my crappy blog?” !!

  46. 46.

    scav

    still, Tucker did manage the find the one cafeteria table where he could possibly begin to think of himself as the cool hip-hep hot one.

  47. 47.

    aimai

    I can’t believe no one clicked on my phallocarp link. Come on–the number of times you are going to see that link in a thread on politics is, like, this one time. Well, maybe this time too.

    aimai

  49. 49.

    flukebucket

    I heard yesterday about a new right wing radio station coming out of Athens, GA.

    103.7

    Listened to it this morning. Lots of giggling about Biden and the F-bomb. Nancy Pelosi at 11% approval rating. Harry Reid at 8% approval rating. Democrats going down in flames come November because of 60% disapproval of healthcare reform bill. The government is Santa Claus. Blah, blah, blah fuckin’ blah.

    Any other Georgia juicers listening to that shit?

    I am going to continue listening just to hear the other side but damn it is painful.

  50. 50.

    LuciaMia

    from the ‘80s, The Preppie Handbook?

    Gaah, yes. And what was up with those mallard duck prints?

    Tho my favorite hate item from the 80’s was that slogan, ‘He who dies with the most toys, wins.’

  51. 51.

    R-Jud

    @aimai:

    I can’t believe no one clicked on my phallocarp link.

    I just did, and it was totally worth it for “Operation Penis Gourd”.

  52. 52.

    geg6

    I have to say, there has been one huge side benefit to the passage of HCR that I simply didn’t anticipate.

    The crazy wingnut bible thumper I have for a staff assistant has not been spouting any of her ignorant rants all week. I had no idea how much better Obama and congressional Dems were going to make my life. I mean, I know they promised to and all, but I expected meta things like HCR and an end to DADT and things like that. I never realized they meant that my specific life would immediately improve with their legislative victories.

    Me likey.

  54. 54.

    Ash Can

    That photograph reminds me of why I don’t watch any of that crap. Just looking at it lowered my IQ by a point or two.

  56. 56.

    aimai

    The problem for us with this kind of talk radio coverage, Flukebucket is that its like the insane Mccain’s gonna win coverage before Obama’s election–the fact that all these guys think that HCR is very unpopular means that when it turns out to be popular its going to reinforce the notion that the next election was “stolen.”

    On the flip side apparently the teabaggers are enraged that Scotty “trucknutz” Brown was unable to singlehandedly stop the health care bill, so there’s something to be said for that “When Prophecy Fails” moment.

    aimai

    Meanwhile, between starting this and posting it I got a scam phone call from a fake health “deduction” card and called my AG’s office to report them. God, I love the internet.

  57. 57.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @aimai: Oh, I clicked. I have difficulties imagining Carlson wearing it, which is I good thing or the image would haunt me and prevent sleep for years.

    In general, everyone’s mockery of Tucker’s clothes is making me feel bad as I sit here in my office wearing suede bucks, chinos, a blue oxford button-down shirt, and navy v-neck sweater. Some of us learned to dress in a certain way…. It is not our fault.

  58. 58.

    beltane

    @aimai: Not only did Scott Brown fail to stop the bill, he is also not in favor of repealing it. He even had quite a few nice things to say about it.

    Brown clearly needs to be teabagged.

  61. 61.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Betsy: Thanks, I feel better. I do have to say, I would never wear the combination that Carlson is wearing.

  62. 62.

    klem

    Tucker Carlson is my bet to next be found hammered in his Mazda Miata with a male prostitute.

  63. 63.

    Betsy

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    Exactly. It is not any one element that’s the problem; it’s the horrifying whole.

    Edit: Although I have to say that it’s the rare man (or woman) who can pull off white pants at any time.

  64. 64.

    slag

    I see somebody’s ankles.

    Also, this was pretty good:

    and a hotbed of affirmative action for middle-aged white men.

    New guy is learning.

  65. 65.

    Svensker

    Got nothing here, but you guys are sure cheering up my morning. Except for aimai, who should pay everyone who clicked on that link and whose brain is now in a world of hurt.

    Tucker Carlson’s ankles….

    Oh, and Jonah Goldberg renegged on paying the bet he lost to Juan Cole.

  66. 66.

    flukebucket

    @stuckinred:

    Oh shit. Martha Zoller and Neal Boortz? No thanks. This morning it sounded like a lot of college freshmen messing around with a microphone.

    My employer begged me to listen to it yesterday when I sent him this link that I got from some commenter here the other day.

    Poor guy thinks that he can eventually lead me to the land of milk and honey offered by Republicans. If I were not already making him more than I am costing him I am sure he would have fired me by now.

    I have the only Obama bumper sticker in the parking lot.

  67. 67.

    bayville

    “And neither you nor I has stooped to mentioning that hair … yipes.”

    Oh, sorry. Wrong thread.

    Didn’t mean to impose on the Mount Rushmore of Irrelevant Pundits post.

  71. 71.

    someguy

    @ Geg6: That tag line at the top about the 42 thing? I don’t get it. At all. It was up there the other day and everybody but me seemed to get it, so I didn’t ask then. But I gotta ask now. WTF does that mean?

    It’s the answer to the question, “what is 6 times 7?”

  72. 72.

    RSA

    Everyone else is dressed in a professional suit, and Tucker is wearing bright fucking white pants, Hippie socks, and what looks like moccassins for shoes?

    Tucker: “But you said we’d be talking from behind a covered table! Good thing I didn’t follow the original plan of wearing my pajama bottoms and slippers.”

  74. 74.

    flukebucket

    @stuckinred:

    Boortz is totally out of control today.

    Yeah. I just walked in from an errand and I heard him saying that Democrats are coming for your retirement money. And they are going to take it by force because if they can force you at gunpoint into a contract with a private company then blah, blah, blah, fuckin’ blah.

    And ZOMG! The Left pulled a fire alarm in Canada and they cancelled an Ann Coulter speech.

    That man was Glenn Beck when Glenn Beck was still shittin’ yellow.

  75. 75.

    CMcC

    How the hell do I get the coffee out of my keyboard?

    I’m looking at the picture, wondering if that is really Tucker sitting there covering up his little jewels, holding on for dear life to some sort of Faux News wish-I-could-get-it-up-like-this phallic symbol, scrunching up his face as if he’s afraid he might drop a load in his white panties — and then I read: ““You mean that she has a vagina and her parents speak Farsi? We can’t have that.”

  76. 76.

    pixelpusher

    Is it me, or is Tucker the dandy-in-waiting for the Tom Wolfe Chair of Bowtie Bloviation?

  79. 79.

    Anton Sirius

    @Face:

    I don’t think the majority of posters here realize just how brilliantly apropos the title is… I’ll draw the jury’s attention to the third verse:

    Tough boys
    Running the streets
    Come a little closer
    Rough toys
    Under the sheets
    Nobody knows her
    Rough boys
    Don’t walk away
    I very nearly missed you
    Tough boys
    Come over here
    I wanna bite and kiss you

    I wanna see what I can find
    Tough kids
    Take a bottle of wine
    When your deal is broken
    Ten quid
    She’s so easy to find
    Not a word is spoken
    Rough boys
    Don’t walk away
    I’m still pretty blissed here
    Tough boy
    I’m gonna carry you home
    You got pretty pissed dear

    Gonna get inside you
    Gonna get inside your bitter mind

    Rough boys
    Don’t walk away
    I wanna buy you leather
    Make noise
    Try and talk me away
    We can’t be seen together
    Tough kids
    What can I do?
    I’m so pale and weedy
    Rough fits
    In my Hush Puppy shoes
    But I’m still pleading

    Tough boys
    Running the streets
    Come a little closer
    Rough toys
    Under the sheets
    Nobody knows her
    Rough boys
    Don’t walk away
    I very nearly missed you
    Tough boys
    Come over here
    I wanna bite and kiss you

    I wanna see what I can find!

  80. 80.

    Calming Influence

    Photoshoppers – the look on Tucker’s mug, in front of a frickin’ blue screen fer Chissakes, demands manipulation.

    Release the hounds!

  81. 81.

    Colin Laney

    You mean that she has a vagina and her parents speak Farsi

    That’s not the problem. She has criticized Israel. That’s the problem.

  83. 83.

    Menzies

    @Colin Laney:

    They’re both the problem. As someone pointed out above, the fact that she speaks Farsi is an immediate alarm bell, same as every TSA agent who stops anyone with Arabic flash cards or dictionaries in airports.

    As for the rest, her criticism of Israel and her being female are obvious indicators (to these people) that she must be a liberal and therefore unfit to ask “tough questions.” George Stephanopoulos only kept his career because he was willing to ask bullshit questions like why Obama doesn’t wear a flag pin.

  86. 86.

    different church-lady

    An open thread? What the hell is there left to say after a smackdown like that?

  87. 87.

    liberty60

    @aimai:

    I can tell you that the scariest thing of all to these puffy dough boys is that the entire book of world diplomacy, history, and analysis is entirely shut to them—and open to women like Amanpour

    This, quoted for truth.

    This is what terrifies the Village, the Washington salons, and the rednecks alike; that there is arising a new class of people whose roots don’t arc back through Europe by way of the Hamptons.

    They are truly unsettled by people like Fareed Zakaria and Christine Amahnpour who actually know something about the world, and didn’t gain their knowledge at a sophomore session on “World History” at Harvard.

    The boys in the picture remind me of that scene in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, where the Marcus Brody, the dotty academic played by Denhold Elliot, who supposedly “knows 9 languages, has contacts in dozens of countries- he will blend in, disappear” and is assumed to know everything abou the backward savage world….is wandering down a street in a crisp white linen suit, plaintively asking if anyone “parlez vous Francaise? Sprechen zie Deutch?”

    Tucker’s already got the white suit thing started.

  88. 88.

    jake the snake

    @ Adam Collyer

    The Medicare donut hole is a gap in the drug coverage.
    I don’t know the exact numbers, but between certain $ levels Medicare part D does not cover prescription costs.

    If you hit the hole, you pay all Rx out of pocket until you hit the next level. A lot of money for people on fixed income.

  89. 89.

    Short Bus Bully

    Tucker: “Hehehe… Guess what guys? I brought a present for everyone. Yep, it’s a DICK IN A CUP!”

    Party like a rock star…

  90. 90.

    flukebucket

    @Ash Can:

    I love how “even the liberal” MSNBC headlines its story with “Coulter Speech Cancelled After Protestors’ Threats”—then proceeds to mention NO such threats in the story itself.

    For sure.

    Boortz was whining about how The Left would stop at nothing to stop free speech. And then talked about a damn fire alarm being set off by some unidentified person in Canada.

    I wondered what Boortz would think of those shouting nigger and faggot and spitting on folks.

    He probably considers all of that “free speech” as long as nobody sets off a fire alarm.

  91. 91.

    asiangrrlMN

    @geg6: Did you see you were number 42? Ooooh, spooky. It’s the meaning of life in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. At least, I’m assuming that’s the reference.

    I don’t think Tucker Carlson could do anything to NOT look like a dick. I hope Amanpour makes him cry.

  93. 93.

    geg6

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Oh, no wonder I didn’t get it. I read about 10 pages of that book, hated every word of them, and never picked it up again.

    There are very, very, very, very, very few works of science fiction that I have any sort of tolerance or patience for. The ones I do, I could count on one hand. Actually, less than one hand. This is not one of them.

  94. 94.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @asiangrrlMN:

    @geg6: Did you see you were number 42? Ooooh, spooky.

    My FSM, that’s an amazing catch, asiangrrlMN. Well done. But wait til you read this:

    Your post pointing out that geg6’s post asking about 42 was number 42, was number 91. Now follow along with me: if you subtract 42 from 91, you get 49.

    I think we can all agree that the square root of 49 is 7. If you take the 7, and multiply it by the 6 in geg6’s handle . . . lo and behold, the answer, ladies and germs, is . . .

    TA DA . . .

    42

    For. Ty. Two. Holy shit.

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