For a couple days before moving, I sprayed the new furniture with SCRAM pet repellent. An entire bottle’s worth, to be exact. The logic being there is plenty of furniture for them to sit on, and Lily is always in my lap anyway, and Tunch has his new window throne, so I would try to keep them off the new stuff as long as possible. So what kind of results did we get from the SCRAM pet repellent spray? Complete and total fail:
I had completely forgotten how much work moving is. Just getting everything situated takes forever.
BTW- My apologies to everyone who has emailed me in the past couple of weeks who has not received a reply.
NobodySpecial
The rightful owners of the house sitting on the furniture – don’t see the problem here.
Michael D.
And your shoulder was able to participate in all this moving exactly how?
mr. whipple
White cat on dark brown chenille couch = never ending cleaning. LOL.
Elroy's Lunch
You can’t pay enough to achieve such a perfect picture of domestic harmony. Pitch the SCRAM and remember to ask them if it’s okay for you to sit on their couch.
Chat Noir
Cats and dogs are supposed to be on the furniture. Feature, not a bug.
beltane
There is nothing that works with cats. You can douse your furniture with every type of repellent ever made, and they will just sniff it, scratch and sit. Squirting a cat with water may work, but the cat will just get his/her revenge at a later time.
Captain Goto
What Elroy’s Lunch said.
KyCole
My dog never sits on the couch- when I’m home. I see her jump off every time I come in the front door. My solution is to just put the ratty old blanket on the furniture when I’m not sitting on it.
scav
Eagle, this is Houston. All scientific advisors agree Situation Normal. Repeat, Situation Normal. Happy Landing.
Scuffletuffle
This is why blankets exist…easy to throw on couch and take off, easy to wash! Vacuum cleaners, also, too.
mistermix
SCRAM must work on furniture like Bitter Apple works on hotspots.
When we put that shit on our dog, I swear she liked the taste and licked more.
Michael D.
The breeder who sold me my dog made me sign a contract to the effect that my dog would have the run of the house and be treated like a member of the family and that she would never be locked in a crate unless absolutely necessary for safety. So I agree totally with @Chat Noir.
And yes, next pet will come from the Atlanta Humane Society.
Michael D.
@mistermix: my dog HATES bitter apple. If she gets a taste of it, she foams at the mouth and looks quite rabid.
Hate. it.
merrinc
It was really thoughtful of you to buy new furniture for your poor, deprived pets. I’m sure Tunch had just about worn out his futon.
mr. whipple
It really is easier just to buy couches, carpet, etc etc that will blend in the color of the animal hair.
RSR
That SCRAM stuff doesn’t work on my kids, either!
Ash Can
You forgot to read the fine print on the SCRAM bottle that says “results may vary.”
stuckinred
@mistermix: It’s like the army mosquito repellent we had, they loved it!
Punchy
John, I’m sending you a pic of Lily’s cloned identical twin sister’s clone. I swear to Bob, when I first saw this dog, my first thawt wuz “Cole’s HERE?!” at the dinner party. You should post it under a contest of “Which one’s Lily?”
John Cole
@stuckinred: All we used in the Army was some AVON hand lotion. Bugs hated it.
Ratufa
Look, you pathetic human. You’re lucky that the masters of the house let you sit on their furniture. Now, go buy some cat and dog treats to atone for your effrontery
GReynoldsCT00
That mug on the coffee table isn’t Balloon Juice approved swag…
Nice digs, and time to acquire some throws for them to lay on that you can toss in the washer.
They look awfully cute in spite of their lawlessness
GReynoldsCT00
@John Cole:
Skin So Soft! Yuck, I hate it too, but it works
Opopanax
@mr. whipple:
Yes. Oh, well, I happened to not consider this and adopted one white and one black cat. The dust buster sits next to the couch now.
jron
obviously you need one of these:
scram, don’t scram
you can just turn it around if you change your mind.
Bill E Pilgrim
Did you check the label?
The “Ham Salad”-scented SCRAM doesn’t seem to be quite as effective as others, I’ve noticed.
gbear
Are you sure you didn’t buy a can of SCAM by mistake? You gotta read labels carefully.
The only thing cats like better than sofas is sunbeams.
AhabTRuler
Stuckinred@18: WETSU!
Ash Can
Actually, the SCRAM seems to be working fine. It’s keeping you off the furniture so that Tunch and Lily can sleep peacefully.
Bad Horse's Filly
Nothing to add, except you’ve got some really smart bloggers here, you should listen to them. Lily and Tunch, great way to start the morning.
Betsy
In other words, all is as it should be.
BTW, your new pad is looking swell, Mr. Cole!
Bill E Pilgrim
The animals are probably watching you spray the furniture thinking “Wow, humans mark their territory using a can?”
And then shrug and settle in for a nap.
Clark
You moved to Houston?
The Raven
Lilac usually works–most cats hate it–but it unfortunately stains.
Clark
I actually sprayed some pet repellent on my bed to keep my Siamese from beating the shit out of my face at 5am every day. Unfortunately, it only worked for a few days, and all it did was keep her pacing around the bed meowing at the top of her lungs.
General Egali Tarian Stuck
I have to bribe Charlie with a treat just soze he’ll let me sleep in my own bed at night. And he can’t be bought to share the teevee chair.
Athenae
Is that a scented candle? Hee.
Tunch looks so sweet and sleepy. I just want to snorgle that kitteh.
A.
ericvsthem
The most interesting thing about Nicolas Sarkozy’s statements on the lack of empathy for the poor during the health care reform debate in the US – in Europe (and France in particular), he’s a right-wing conservative.
Just another reminder that compared to the rest of the industrialized world, we really aren’t a center-right country – we are far-right.
Morbo
Nice camera trick making Lily the closer of the two; thus, Tunch actually looks smaller.
Keith G
Can’t speak for puppehs, but I have never met a cat who wasn’t willing to overcome social disapproval and some initial discomfort in order to light on the sleeping place of their choice.
That flat out desire to win any test of will (and scary problem solving chops) are two of the things I admire in my two 4 year old girls – uber kittehs.
Violet
Love the photo! They look totally content. Aww…..
Your new place is looking really nice. How’s the shoulder?
demo woman
John Cole owns a coffee table with a glass top. It might be time to buy stock in Windex.
Lily and Tunch thank you for the new beds.
LuciaMia
And skunk juice is supposed to repel it’s predators. But the night my Clemmie killed a skunk, she came in doused with it and looked right delighted. Next day she kept going out and rolling in the still stinky spots like it was Chanel no. 5.
The Moar You Know
Ahhahahahahahahahahahaha.
That’s a delightful picture.
Cole, you should surely know by now that a cat will sleep wherever the fuck it wants to, and will endure a fair amount of discomfort to do so just to show you it won’t be shoved around by the likes of a servant human. My cat will sleep on a hardback book just to keep me from reading it. She’ll sleep on my hands to keep me from reading or typing. There is no spray on the planet, save for Zyklon-B, that will keep a cat from sleeping on its (note: not your) property.
norbizness
No kitty THAT’S A BAD KITTY
Max
Brown, brown and more brown.
Although, is that a hint of something blue I see in the corner?
Svensker
Looks mighty cozy, John Cole. Big soft comfy couches, lavender candle, sleeping warm cuddly aminals…..yawwwnnnn, is it time for a nap yet?
low-tech cyclist
Here’s how you minimize the work of getting furniture situated in a new place:
1) Before you move, get a floor plan of your new place from the apartment manager, condo association, or builder, if possible.
If you can’t get a floor plan, get in there before you move with a good tape measure and a pad of graph paper, and draw a scale layout for yourself. Make sure all doors and windows are marked, and it’s not a bad idea to show where electrical outlets are.
2) Measure your significant pieces of furniture, and make scale cutouts of them (the scale being whatever scale your floor plan from (1) is).
3) Move the pieces of furniture around on your floor plan to see what fits where, and what arrangements you’re happy with.
4) Once you’ve decided where you want everything to go, make another copy of your set of floor plans, and draw in where the pieces of furniture go. These will help you direct your movers, or your friends who are helping you move, to get everything in the right places.
When I was moving fairly frequently, I kept the furniture cutouts in an envelope, and re-used them in several successive moves. It was a great system.
John Cole
@Athenae: Hey- leave my candles alone!
Dog is My Copilot
I’ve given up on keeping our newest rescue, a Chihuahua/rat terrier mix, off our couch. He just loves to be next to us. I have crocheted a couple small afghans for him to lie on, and that helps keep the dog hair under control. He’s a short-haired dog, but still sheds. He’s a real happy-go-lucky little guy who we’ve had over a month now. I don’t have the heart to chase him off the couch…
rdldot
@John Cole: Get some throws that you can wash every week or so and remove when company comes. It will save a fortune on pethair pickups (but the 3m one is the best).
Also, appreciate your healthy pets while you have them. My 13yr old dog is riddled with arthritis and can’t jump on the couches, or bed, or even get in the car anymore. I wish I had those other problems back.
catclub
Morbo:
Making Tunch look small. That picture was taken from SPACE.
Hence the Houston reference.
zulif mclaren
Let’s just hope the same company doesn’t make shark repellant.
YellowDog
Nothing works for cats–they will do whatever they do. Since dogs don’t have the climbing ability of cats, you can keep them off the sofas and chairs by putting overturned laundry baskets on the furniture. That will work until the cats knock the baskets down (not as a favor for the dogs, but as an affront to their rights).
Francis
wait, what? I’ve missed a few days. You moved? To where?
great photo, btw. so thoughtful of you to get new beds for your four-legged family members.
CaseyL
1. I love the new place, but require a more comprehensive photographic survey before I can issue a definitive opinion.
2. People pay large sums of money to buy paintings showing exactly the tableaux you have in real life and living color in your very own home. Nothing says “restful, peaceful home” like animals curled up on the furniture – it’s like living feng shui.
3. Furminator and blankets are your friends if you’re really worried about keeping the furniture furless. My advice, though, would be to not worry about it, but accept fur-niture as a normal way of life…
4. … and choose your friends and visitors accordingly.
Gatsby
Brown couches! With a golden-haired dog and a white-haired cat! Admit it, John. You were just looking for trouble. Either that or you just looove vacuuming furniture.
Lisa
LOL@53.
I know, right?!
PHinSD
Looking at the photo more closely – Lilly looks faintly guilty, Tunch looks smug.
Pasquinade
John, I agree with the blankets…I have many cats so I know.
With flea season approaching, use Dawn original when washing the blankets, throws, rugs, etc. It breaks down the oily bubble that fleas generate to keep from drowning. You can also bathe your pets with it. (Remember the Exxon Valdez?)
Bad Horse's Filly
@Dog is My Copilot: My friends have a Chihuahua/rat terrier mix and they tell people he is a terrahuahau.
Martin
John, you need to fight fire with fire. Mark your territory. Get on that coffee table, whip the ol boy out and hose down those sofas.
slag
All furniture looks better with pets on it.
And I agree with the throw blanket idea. But don’t drape them over your sofas like they’re ghosts. Strategically place them so they do the job and still look like they belong there. A baby blanket-sized throw may be your best option here.
Maybe something like this: http://www.amazon.com/Receiving-Blanket-Cocoa-Print-Velour/dp/B001P8TDZE.
SiubhanDuinne
Send that photo to the manufacturers of SCRAM with the suggestion that they change the product’s name to “HERE KITTY KITTY KITTY Pet Attractor.”
Larv
Forget about the couches, you need something to keep Tunch off that coffee table. I don’t think the glass is designed to support that kind of weight. Actually, between Tunch and his accident-prone owner, it just seems like a bad idea altogether. I’m waiting for the post where John picks up Lily while vacuuming naked, only to slip and and fall through the glass table top, with results both horrifying and humorous.
Annie
@RSR:
But, at least with kids, you can keep them in the backyard…:D
Carrie
Is that a lavender candle? /ducks
HRA
My advice is to get slipcovers of a material and color that won’t show or have the fur stick to it.
That is all -back to work.
Church Lady
You can tell John isn’t married, just by looking at his new sofas. Brown and puffy. They are definitely Man Furniture. No self-respecting woman would allow those anywhere in her home. Except maybe in a Home Theatre Room, if there was one.
CynDee
They are letting you know RIGHT FROM THE START how things are going to be. You didn’t get the jump (so to speak) on them; they got it on you.
As we pet owners so often say, “Now, how did that happen??”
Besides, SCRAM is for goldfish.
tatertot
Tunch and Lily are each on their couch. Do you have a couch, too?
robertdsc
Home sweet home. Love them both. Thank you.
licensed to kill time
I’ve always figured that a fine layer of pet hair on absolutely everything you own is just the price you pay for enslaving the little critters. They /drink leave hair in your milkshake!
Josie
I believe anyone that says cats cannot be stopped. I am currently fighting my two over the squash beds in the garden. I have ringed the squash with stakes, put up a small portable fence, placed large stones in carefully selected spots, and they still manage to dig and poop. I wish I had a game camera to capture the contortions they must be going through to get it done. I may have to live without squash this year.
John – did you notice that Lily and Tunch are placed parallel to each other? I suspect collusion.
Zippity
That’s why I like my leather furniture-other than the occasional scratch mark, that happens when the doorbell rings and the dog/cats freak out-the pet hair doesn’t stick.
Soprano2
Don’t feel bad, John – we got a sectional when we decided we needed a new sofa, partly so there would be room for us among the two dogs and three cats that share their house with us. Since the two dogs are 100 lbs and 55 lbs, we needed the room. LOL Keeping them off the furniture just isn’t an option. Then we had to get blankets to cover the sectional to protect it from them. That’s better than cleaning it every week, though. I don’t think there’s anything that keeps them off the furniture if they want to get on it, especially when you’re not there. I’m glad the dogs don’t want to climb the stairs – if they did I swear I’d be sleeping on the floor, and my husband would have a dog on each side.
Congrats on the new place, and the new furniture.
tim
John, I have two rescue doggies who are the loves of our lives. We trained them OFF the furniture in about two weeks of strict and consistent training. Now they NEVER get on the couch unless they are invited by one of us. Even when we are on the couch, they just sit and stare at us, waiting for permission. When we give them the OK, they jump up and are happy as clams. If we don’t want them there, they just curl up on the floor; everyone’s happy.
The key is to put oneself in charge, to be the leader of the pack. Everyone’s much happier that way.
I disagree with a lot of posters here. I think dogs especially feel more secure when they are given firm boundaries; Cesar Millan told me so, and he was RIGHT. :)
Besides, our little canine prince and princess have very nice doggie beds of their own on which to recline; they don’t need to hog our space.
Seems to me that pet owners who have animals on their furniture WANT them there, complaints notwithstanding.
Dog is My Copilot
@Bad Horse’s Filly: Is that a “terrahuahua” or a “terrorhuahua”? LOL. Actually, I’ve never been a little dog person but Mo (we call him MoMo) is about the most delightful little dog I’ve ever spent time with. He’s a very happy-go-lucky little guy, and loves to snuggle on the couch with us. When we first adopted him, we could tell there was definitely Chihuahua in there, but didn’t know what else. Turns out he’s probably mixed with rat terrier. I’m typically a “big dog person,” so never in my wildest dreams did I imagine myself owning a Chihuahua/rat terrier and a Pomeranian (both rescues). (sorry… I’m not good at the various formatting functions in the comment section…)
Gatsby
Two years ago, I had the misguided idea of buying a leather couch. My rationale was that, since leather is cool to the touch, the felines would leave it alone, because it would not be comfy enough. I was right on that point, but on that point only… While Mr. King (Tommy) stayed away from the couch for utilitarian reasons, Mme. Queen (Olivia), being of a smaller stature, soon found out that scratching the arms of the couch allowed her to stretch herself to the fullest while simultaneously sharpening her claws. The couch is in shreds. My social life is in shreds. The Royal Feline Couple is here to stay of course. The couch is going to the nearest garbage dump.
Gatsby
Oh! As for Bitter Apple? They love it!
Gatsby
Have you moved to Houston? Do you know that Houston is infested with flying cockroaches the size of small helicopters?
Tax Analyst
@Martin:
Rather disturbing imagery, Martin. However that does bring this significant question to mind: What does John wear when vacuuming?
mai naem
I heard black pepper works on keeping pets off areas but that you just put it on the corners or perimeter not through the whole area. Also too, you really don’t have to have earthtones in all of your decorating to prove to us that you are a liberal like Al Gore.
asiangrrlMN
Happy sigh. Tunchie and Lily are right where they belong–on the puffy brown couches. Which, by the way, I love. I guess that makes me not a woman since I would have those in my house in a heartbeat. In fact, I like your entire decorating scheme. Very cozy and homey. More pics, please!
Clark
@Gatsby:
I had a similar comment, but without the funny observation about Houstonian cockroaches.
phoebes-in-santa fe
There are no problems in that picture. Just life as it should be when a human is owned by their pets.
I am lying on my right side on my bed, typing this on my laptop. Two cats – “Emily” and “Phaedra” – are curled up beside me on a large red pillow – they’re littermates, almost 14 years old – while young “Alice Obama” is spread out on my left leg and hip.
And my real kids, sons aged 30 and 28, are out in the world, doing good.
This is what life should be….
SiubhanDuinne
@Gatsby: Do they laugh?
SiubhanDuinne
@John: THREE remotes?
Lesley
I love pet stories with pictures. Because they are usually always happy or funny. Usually, with you, they are funny.
I love the way Lily wraps herself up tight when she’s hunkering down for a nap. Makes me want to cuddle her.
You have the best pets, John Cole.
MaisieAmrich4257
great post. keep it up thanks so much!