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You are here: Home / Food & Recipes / Food / Jamie Oliver Can SUCK. ON. THIS…

Jamie Oliver Can SUCK. ON. THIS…

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This is just what we needed:

Last August, we wrote about the “Double Down,” a mysteriously tempting (and potentialy lethal) new food item being tested by KFC. For those coming late to the story, it’s bacon and cheese sandwiched between two pieces of fried chicken. And now, many months later, I’ll finally be able to get my hands on one.

KFC announced the decision to go live with the Double Down yesterday, but we weren’t sure they weren’t playing a April Fools gag. But no, they truly are going nationwide with the delicacy on April 12.

This is excellent news for… cardiologists.

Reader Interactions

91Comments

  4. 4.

    Svensker

    Because nothing says “America, Fuck Yeah!” like a buncha lard asses with clogged arteries.

  5. 5.

    morzer

    Somewhere out there, Brick Oven Bill is on his knees before the screen, praising the name of Glenn Beck and warning his neighbors not to let the Socialists stop the delivery of essential food supplies.

  7. 7.

    AngusJackBootedThugOfMeat

    Svensker, I think it works.

    What better message to send to terrorists?

    Think you want to screw with the USA? We eat shit every day that is more dangerous than you are!

  8. 8.

    Mark S.

    About once a year, KFC sounds better than a steak and lobster dinner. Then I go eat it, have heartburn for a week, and it’s another year until I get that craving again.

  10. 10.

    Svensker

    @ AngusJackBootedThugOfMeat

    You’re just saying that because it’s just the pigs and the chickens that had to suffer for that sandwich. Bovinist!

  12. 12.

    gogol's wife

    The older I get the more my body just refuses to let me eat stuff like this. I’m very grateful. That picture doesn’t tempt me in the least (unlike Jeffrey W’s wholesome dishes).

  13. 13.

    Joseph Nobles

    They’ll make bank over the novelty factor, and the only thing they have to add to inventory is the Double Down wrapper. Of course they’re going to go live with this.

    Well, maybe the cheeses aren’t on their current inventory.

  14. 14.

    Amy

    Put me down for having one, um, never.

    Under the health care law, they’re going to have to list the calorie count.

  16. 16.

    MattF

    As long as they take the skin off the chicken part, that makes it low-fat.. right? Oh, and dessert is a deep-fried Snickers bar, I guess. Also skinned.

  22. 22.

    Alan

    Considering the chicken is battered then fried in seed oil clinches it for me. Now if it were two grass fed beef patties cooked up in lard or butter then I’d go for it.

  23. 23.

    Comrade Luke

    I worked in fast food as a teenager, and this thing reeks of something that started with employees in the stores and bubbled up.

    This is totally “making a break meal from stuff we can’t sell because it’s been sitting under the heat lamps too long”.

  24. 24.

    Svensker

    @ Freelancer

    Fuck Cake!

    Didn’t see the rest of your paragraph at first, because I was trying to imagine what Fuck Cake was. The mind was boggling (yet entertained).

  25. 25.

    scav

    that is ticking about every single not in my lifetime box that I’ve got and a few new ones spontaneously combusted into being.

  27. 27.

    Sloegin

    Poor Jamie. He’s giving it a go, but, lordy… when they showed the episode where the kids in the grade school didn’t know how to use utensils (and the faculty were against teaching them as a liability issue!), I just about lost it.

  28. 28.

    morzer

    No, no. Fuck Cake is a key part of Fuck Dessert. It keeps relationships lively and is great for the arteries.

  29. 29.

    PhoenixRising

    Okay, if that’s an appetizer for 6, why does it come in a paper sack? Shouldn’t it be on a plate with toothpicks?

    …Jebus, no! They intend some person they hate to eat that for lunch! Will the cruelty never end?

  30. 30.

    Violet

    That looks fantastic. I’m going to finish it off with a Deep Fried Mars Bar. Heart attacks for everyone.

  36. 36.

    gbear

    The Onion had this one covered years ago.

    Hate to admit this, but about an hour before this thread was posted, I was sitting in the KFC in West St. Paul clogging my arteries. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I didn’t see this sandwich on the menu, but I certainly wasn’t looking for it.

  41. 41.

    D-Chance.

    I’m so there. And I’m “doubling down” by getting two.

    And, to think, Jack-in-the-Box had that parody commercial a couple of years ago while promoting their ultimate meat-and-cheese burger where a focus group of men discussed the sandwich. Jack did a spit-take when they decided that the burger would be perfect… of they only got rid of the bun.

    KFC took it seriously.

  42. 42.

    the farmer

    I smell a breaking three part investigative series world exclusive from Erick Erickson reporting live for CNN, April 12, 2010.

    *

  43. 43.

    debit

    Pffft. Ren and Stimpy had this covered years ago. “What do you want on your sandwich, Kowalski?” “Meat!” “What kind of bread do you want?” “MEAT!”

  47. 47.

    Grumpy Code Monkey

    Pah. Amateurs.

    Tailpipes: Hot dogs, stuffed with cheese, wrapped in a tortilla, deep fried, served with Ranch dressing. Had they added bacon to the mix, I think it would have been the perfect drunk food.

  48. 48.

    ericblair

    I’m guessing a lot of people are going to order a diet pepsi to wash it down. Cause they’re watching their weight, ya know. I’m surprised that a paper bag would hold the thing for more than five seconds without dissolving into oily goo.

    When they’re listing the calorie count, I wonder whether they’re allowed to use exponential notation.

  49. 49.

    RSA

    One estimate: 1,200 calories, 50 grams of fat. Of course, KFC pushes back:

    KFC public relations rep Rick Maynard responded to experts’ guesstimated calorie counts by providing estimated figures of 590 calories and 31 grams of fat for the sandwich. He said when the Sun ran its numbers, it calculated the nutrition info using two Original Recipe breasts, which are chicken on the bone, while the new sandwich uses Original Recipe filets.

    Uh, yeah, 600 calories of bone.

  51. 51.

    morzer

    Well, let’s stuff 100 of them into Maynard and see how much weight he gains (with the appropriate scientific controls, of course).

  52. 52.

    LanceThruster

    Simpsons did it!

    One day, while watching a TV show he does not like (Ken Burns doing a documentary on his own life), Homer prays God will find the remote. It appears to work, and Homer begins praying for a number of better things, such as praying for a new snack food, which he gets in the form of a mix of bacon and fudge.

  53. 53.

    CaseyL

    If the chicken part was filets, not breaded and deep-fried, I’d totally try it.

    I’d hate myself afterwards, but I’d try it.

    Fortunately, fried chicken doesn’t do it for me at all, so this Double Down doesn’t tempt me.

  54. 54.

    Jon H

    Charlie Brooker at the Guardian (TV snark column) had a good point about that “Man Vs. Food” show.

    In the show, the host goes to some town and finds a local place that has some kind of challenge item on the menu, like a 7 pound hamburger. The show host attempts to eat the thing.

    Brooker noted that, in the name of honesty, they should also include the Man vs. Poo aftermath:

    But what I’d really like to see is what happens the next morning, when the show presumably turns into Man V Poo, as Richman empties the dauntingly substantial, hopelessly compacted contents of his engorged colon, clenching the bathroom doorhandle between his teeth as he attempts to give birth to a leg-sized hunk of fecal sod without killing himself. Cue footage of him sweating, shaking and sobbing like a man impaled on a clay tree, before eventually squeezing out a log with the dimensions and weight of a dead gazelle in a greased sleeping bag. As he mops his brow (and backside), he smiles weakly with exhausted triumph, whispers farewell, and the credits roll. And we’ve all learned something about the price of excess.

  56. 56.

    Hank

    When the proletariat eat chicken cordon bleu, be concerned, very concerned.

    or am I missing something

  58. 58.

    Chuck Butcher

    Since the nearest KFC is 45 miles I guess I’ll miss this one for awhile. I’d probably like it but then I can’t gain weight by working at it.

  60. 60.

    Brachiator

    For those coming late to the story, it’s bacon and cheese sandwiched between two pieces of fried chicken.

    Mmmm. Put me down for 2.

  62. 62.

    goblue72

    This is the sort of thing that while completely disgusting to me in my current middle-aged self, would be completely mouth-watering to my past early twenty-something self – preferably after having done a couple of bong hits an hour or two previous to eating one.

  63. 63.

    fucen tarmal

    this is fine and all, a good step forward.

    i’m still holding out for my dream.

    when is someone going to deep fry chewing tobacco?

  64. 64.

    Joseph Nobles

    @RSA – To be fair, there’s a lot more breading and skin involved in a breast on the bone. According to KFC’s website, the Original Recipe breast filet is 170 calories, and the OR breast with breading and skin is 320. The difference in doubling them up is 300 calories, though, not 600.

    340 calories from the two filets leaves 270 for two pieces of cheese, bacon, and the Colonel’s Sauce, however. The truth is somewhere down the middle of a lard-coated grave.

  66. 66.

    Dr. Loveless

    You’re all missing the point. KFC is simply strengthening its hold on the stoner market. So many DFHs here and no one gets that?

  67. 67.

    morzer

    A Lutherburger? What is that? A deep-fried slice of cardinal between two crispy indulgences, topped off with an unique hellfire sauce?

  68. 68.

    Kirk Spencer

    @Morzer, a lutherburger (named for Luther Vandross and allegedly one of his favorites) is a large cheeseburger that uses a pair of Krispy Kreme glazed donuts as the bun.

  69. 69.

    JMC in the ATL

    I noted that you can also get a version with Grilled Chicken, instead of Fried Chicken. For the folks watching their carbs, I guess.

  70. 70.

    hamletta

    I was going to bring up the Lutherburger, because all this is missing is the Krispy Kreme!

    For you uninitiated, the Lutherburger is not named for the Br. Marty, but the singer, Luther Vandross

    Being an actual Lutheran, though, I quite enjoyed morzer’s definition.

    And this seems as good an opportunity as any to mention the Meatcake!

  72. 72.

    Ruckus

    Mark @8

    About once a year, KFC sounds better than a steak and lobster dinner. Then I go eat it, have heartburn for a week, and it’s another year until I get that craving again.

    Fortunately for me I get heartburn thinking about KFC so I don’t have to go there once a year. Any more.

    Used to eat at a place named Mike’s Hockey Burger. A hockey burger is a cheese burger with 2 grilled hot dogs. They are tasteeeyy. So a meal for me was hockey and fries with a shake. Guy I worked with would have the same and one to go to eat on the way back to work. And now my arteries clog up thinking about them. Ah to be young and hungry.

  74. 74.

    JGabriel

    … it’s bacon and cheese sandwiched between two pieces of fried chicken.

    How is this any different from a West Virginia Chicken Cordon Bleu?

    .

  75. 75.

    C Turner Joy

    Svensker

    @ Freelancer

    Fuck Cake!

    Didn’t see the rest of your paragraph at first, because I was trying to imagine what Fuck Cake was. The mind was boggling (yet entertained).

    I took it as an imperative.

  76. 76.

    chopper

    jesus, that thing just looks terrible. it’s still not as bad as hardee’s monster thickburger. what’s that, 1500 calories? a diet coke is a good pairing.

  77. 77.

    Peter

    As John Kerry might say, “Who among us does not love Mayan food?”

    I honestly think they pulled this punch a bit; why not dip the whole thing in chocolate, then marshmallow fluff, popcorn shrimp, more chocolate, and then wrap the whole goddamn thing up in a funnel cake and deep fry it again? They could serve it with a bowl of meth and a loaded revolver. It could render this blog obsolete in one long weekend.

    I’m pretty sure this is not a repost. Patton Oswalt at his best.

  79. 79.

    ruemara

    After much SERIOUS DIETING, I am down 20lbs. Looking at this while eating a bowl of simmered leafy greens and 100 grams of lean white fish is a tad ironic, but not tempting. I’m saving all my love for a giant plate of homemade nachos and the biggest plate of sashimi I can cobble together. It’s gonna be long wait.

  82. 82.

    Chris

    Um, the grilled version without a ton of cheese would be ridiculously Atkins-friendly. Which, for some of us, actually does mean less weight, a much better-looking lipid profile (insane, but true)… and constant veggie/fruit cravings. Strange old world, innit?

  83. 83.

    Steeplejack

    @RSA:

    Uh, yeah, 600 calories of bone.

    God, that is a great line from like the greatest blues song ever! What is the name again? Pretty sure it was on that classic album Leadbelly Cooks! I’ll have to look it up.

  84. 84.

    Steeplejack

    @Kirk Spencer:

    [. . .] a large cheeseburger that uses a pair of Krispy Kreme glazed donuts as the bun.

    I’m a junk-food junkie, but . . . eww. Just eww. R.I.P., Luther.

  85. 85.

    Blue Raven

    @Chris:

    Um, the grilled version without a ton of cheese would be ridiculously Atkins-friendly. Which, for some of us, actually does mean less weight, a much better-looking lipid profile (insane, but true)… and constant veggie/fruit cravings. Strange old world, innit?

    And that is why I am SO there. Grilled version FTW. You all who can eat bread have no idea what a pain it is to be unable to just grab and bite something when you were raised to be able to and discover the bread is what’s killing you.

  87. 87.

    Anne Laurie

    when is someone going to deep fry chewing tobacco?

    And then dip the wad in melted chocolate FTW!

    (Speaking of ThisIsWhyYoureFat: I have had an Irish eggroll… which is basically a deep-fried reuben sandwich replacing the rye bread with a wonton wrapper. It’s delicious, at least when made with decent ingredients. And, no, I do not CARE about the calorie / transfat count.)

  88. 88.

    Forty2

    You know, this would be a nourishing meal if the chicken was pastured/free-range and grilled, not soaked in mystery batter and fried in GMO canola oil, the bacon was uncured, and the cheese was actual cheese made from raw milk, not that polyester-based “American” “cheese” crap.

    But it’s not.

  89. 89.

    ornery curmudgeon

    I’m waiting for the advertisement: “Eat this and you’ll piss off a liberal!”

    KFC definitely knows their market. You are overweight and struggling with health issues, with organic local-grow folks and various Jamie Olivers and other goodie-goods trying to unclench your fist from the sausage burrito …

    F**k it! Double DOWN!

  90. 90.

    Tania

    Just looking at it makes me want to throw up.

    Maybe it’s because I’m European. Maybe it’s because I’m a vegetarian (though I loved chicken wings when I still ate wings >3>). But seriously, this is just ….ugh.

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