Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Hi god, it’s us. Thanks a heap, you’re having a great week and it’s only Thursday!

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

“That’s what the insurrection act is for!”

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

Speaker Mike Johnson is a vile traitor to the House and the Constitution.

Republicans: “Abortion is murder but you can take a bus to get one.” Easy peasy.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires.

Since we are repeating ourselves, let me just say fuck that.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

You can’t love your country only when you win.

The choice is between normal and crazy.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Shut up, hissy kitty!

Second rate reporter says what?

No Justins, No Peace

I did not have this on my fuck 2024 bingo card.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires Republicans to act in good faith.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

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Early Morning Open Thread

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In honor of Eostre, She Who May Not Actually Have Been Worshipped, I intend to eat a Godiva dark chocolate bar for breakfast later.

Daffodils are blooming on all four sides of the yard now, and one defiant knee-high lilac bush is starting to bloom six weeks ahead of its fellows. I’ve got some three dozen boutique tomato plants on order for mid-May, and it’s time to start pulling the mulch off the raised beds (not to mention looking for the sandals I never got to wear in all of last summer’s rain).

It was this, or Watership Down: “All the world will be your enemy, Prince of A Thousand Enemies, and whenever they catch you, they will kill you. But first, they must catch you… Be cunning — full of tricks — and your people will never be destroyed.”

Pretty good philosophy for Democrats in general, actually…

(For our Antepodian correspondents: The Easter Bilby!)

Reader Interactions

32Comments

  1. 1.

    TenguPhule

    It was this, or Watership Down

    Tramatizing Children and their Parents for ages to come.

    Yes Folks, not all cartoons are meant for kids!

  3. 3.

    Viva BrisVegas

    If only bilbys were as common as hares.

    Hares have far too few enemies around here, so not much cunning is required.

  6. 6.

    Viva BrisVegas

    For our Antepodian correspondents

    Are they the ones with their feet on backwards?

  7. 7.

    DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)

    Happy Chocolate Day to everyone out there. I too have faith, faith that we will be eating lots of chocolate before the day is out. Of this I am sure.

    I was writing the above and all of the sudden I heard the sounds of frenzied kitty paws and claws trying to find purchase on the hardwood floor upstairs. I snuck upstairs and saw that Tommy had located his missing red tywrap and was in the middle of smacking it all around the dining room floor. That cat loves them damned tywraps enough that whenever he gets out in the garage he steals one for a toy. We keep finding them all over the house and I put them back for him to steal again later.

    They’re cheap toys and help to keep him entertained. I let him play with the eight inch wraps because the smaller ones would be a choking hazard. Seeing him carry them like a bone between the kitchen and dining room is pretty cute. If you hold and wave the end of it around, or tickle his ears with the end of it, he goes absolutely nuts trying to get it from you. Tommy has snagged my hand only a couple of times but he seems to know when he does it and releases almost immediately. No real blood or scratches, more like tiny punctures. I can take it, entertaining Tommy is fun. :)

    Other owners might not be so lucky so if you try this then consider yourself warned. Wear a glove.

  9. 9.

    geg6

    Happy Zombie Day to all of BJ! I am in charge of the ham for the family celebration and chocolatefest. I will be interested to find out what outrageous bullshit my sister’s parish priest says during tha homily at Mass today and whether she has decided to become an Episcopalian because of it. She really has been tortured since the whole HCR thing that he railed against and now there has been no mention of the molestation scandal in any way. After all the revelations this week, she is holding out a last hope that he will have some words of apology, contrition, and condemnation. I think she is an eternal optimist myself. I hope she decides to switch. Episcopalians are pretty cool and progressive for a Christian denomination and I would much rather my little niece have them for moral examples than the church I grew up in and despise to this day. If I felt any need for religion in my life, I’d choose Episcopalian. Thankfully, I don’t feel the need.

  10. 10.

    fucen tarmal

    chocolate bunnies are good, but they do get kids thinking about eating bunnies and cementing the idea of eating critters=yum, the same way santa claus gets them prepped for a patriarchal god….

    so i wonder, what do kids in peta families get for easter…chocolate asparagus? chocolate tofu? not chocolate covered mind you, solid chocolate in the shape of vegan foods…and if you were to make solid chocolate “tofu”, to replace the more familiar chocolate bunny, what shape would the tofu be? maybe a bunny? it would be cheaper.

  11. 11.

    BethanyAnne

    Heh. Asked Mom the joke from the previous thread. “Hey Mom, if baby Jesus sees his shadow today, it’s six more weeks of chocolate eggs, right?” She gave me the “I love all my children, even the heathen one” look :-)

  12. 12.

    jeffreyw

    gack! oh sweet jesus day bunny don’t run away so fast cause i ain’t had my coffee and my blurry eyes don’t focus ..focus? no foc y’all

  13. 13.

    Brick Oven Bill

    In honor of all that is good and true;

    Speed equals distance divided by time;

    Power equals force divided by time;

    Work equals force times distance; and

    The beauty and function of the female body;

    Two things must be avoided by the Teabagger. These are:

    1. Godiva chocolates; and

    2. ZuZu Pets Hamsters.

  15. 15.

    R-Jud

    If you ever meet my sister-in-law and want to make her cry (why would you? she’s lovely, you meanie), all you have to do is sing “Bright Eyes” from Watership Down.

  18. 18.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Chocolate bilbys, hilarious! Wherever do you find these things!? (I know, I know. What I mean is, how do these things manage to come to your attention in the first place?)

    Anne Laurie, I hope you’ll forgive my early-morning pedantry, but you got your *i* and *e* crossed — it’s *antipodean*, not *antepodian*

    Looks like a beautiful sunny day here in ‘Lanna. I am blowing off all the TV shows and just listening to music until the NPR puzzler comes on. Happy Easter / Sunday / day to you all.

  20. 20.

    demkat620

    Happy Beaster Bunny Day! My daughter used to say that. Kids, huh?

    Anyway, there will be ham and fresh green beans and homemade mashed potatoes. Crispy rolls and for desert, blueberries and whipped cream.

    And then, back to work tomorrow. That’s the part that sucks.

  21. 21.

    demkat620

    Wonder how poor John is feeling this morning. I do hope Tunch and Lily took care of him last night.

  22. 22.

    scav

    and on this day of chocolate, spare a thought for the poor archaeologists of the future, trying to understand our Lord and Savior by way of the hidden features on DVDs. Let alone trying to understand how the lagomorphs got them there without the proper security codes.

  24. 24.

    Linda Featheringill

    Good morning, everyone.

    Happy Spring Holidays to all.

    Gee – you guys are using big words this morning. Had to look up 3-4 different things. And so early!

    Best wishes. May the antepodean lagomorph grace you with lots of zuzu pet hamsters! And chocolate.

  25. 25.

    bey

    No ham here. I made my first ever brisket. See smitten kitchen. I did the crockpottery yesterday and it smelled so good I could hardly stand it.

    We are having it with rosemary roasted new potatos and asparagus. It’s only 7 and I can hardly wait for dinner.

  26. 26.

    demo woman

    Happy Easter!
    John will probably have a few aspirin with the peeps and chocolate bunnies. I’m going to enjoy the sunshine and do some yard work before I have to cook.
    Have a good day all.

  27. 27.

    scav

    had to go look up Chuch Slavonic for an e-mail. Found this and decided to add it to the words portion of this thread. I’m rather fond of Tlingit: Xristos Kuxwoo-digoot! Xegaa-kux Kuxwoo-digoot! although Kristus är uppstånden! Han är sannerligen uppstånden! is what first got me laughing. (Hey! Look who finally got out of bed!)

  28. 28.

    Svensker

    @ tt crews

    Alithos anesti!

    Maddy Prior is great. Have to be in the mood and doses have to be judicious, but in that window she is great.

  30. 30.

    Pasquinade

    78% Think Jesus Christ Rose from the Dead

    Overall, Evangelical Christians tend to be stronger believers in Jesus than other Protestants or Catholics. Nearly all Evangelicals (99%) think Jesus was the son of God. That view is shared by 92% of Catholics and 88% of other Protestants.
    …
    Ninety-seven percent (97%) of Evangelical Christians believe Jesus rose from the dead, compared to 87% of Catholics and 86% of other Protestants.

    http://www.rasmussenreports.com/public_content/lifestyle/holidays/april_2010/78_think_jesus_christ_rose_from_the_dead

  31. 31.

    fucen tarmal

    ya know, get me in a room with the 1% of evangelical christians who DON’T believe jesus was the son of god.

    i wanna party with those cowboys.

    forgetaboutit!

  32. 32.

    Pasquinade

    Why doesn’t Jesus eat M&M’s?
    They keep falling through the holes in his hands.

    “Easter is the time when Jesus was nailed to the cross, died for our sins, and was buried in a tomb. After he was dead for three days, he rose and opened the tomb… and if he sees his shadow, we get six more weeks of winter!”

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