Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

You’re just a puppy masquerading as an old coot.

We still have time to mess this up!

Republicans do not trust women.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

Hey Washington Post, “Democracy Dies in Darkness” was supposed to be a warning, not a mission statement.

Today’s gop: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Nothing says ‘pro-life’ like letting children go hungry.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

People are complicated. Love is not.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

If America since Jan 2025 hasn’t broken your heart, you haven’t loved her enough.

There are times when telling just part of the truth is effectively a lie.

The low info voters probably won’t even notice or remember by their next lap around the goldfish bowl.

So many bastards, so little time.

“A king is only a king if we bow down.” – Rev. William Barber

Tick tock motherfuckers!

Of course you can have champagne before noon. That’s why orange juice was invented.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

“When somebody takes the time to draw up a playbook, they’re gonna use it.”

America is going up in flames. The NYTimes fawns over MAGA celebrities. No longer a real newspaper.

Our messy unity will be our strength.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

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Reader Interactions

114Comments

  1. 1.

    Randy P

    I still can’t figure out why Stupak became the enemy. DIdn’t he force the evil Obama administration to make explicit anti-abortion language in an executive order? How did he end up in their sights?

    But the wingnut mind works in mysterious ways…

  4. 4.

    Martin

    @Randy P: He’s in their sights because he backed down.

    That said, he shouldn’t have been in our sights either because that seat is almost certainly going GOP.

  7. 7.

    cleek

    Update: Stupak’s press conference statement was heavy on the Demcare cheerleading, silent on his pro-life views.

    “Demcare” – really?

    oh, i hope so.

    i also encourage “Demicare” and “DemSecurity”

  10. 10.

    YellowJournalism

    This post made laugh so hard my son turned to me and told me I was crazy.

  11. 11.

    cyntax

    Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Malkin R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtan.

    Yep, I speak gibbering wingnut.

  13. 13.

    litbrit

    MMNLHTWLCPAMTRORSNAA

    (Michelle Malkin never learned how to write lively, captivating prose and must thus rely on risibly stupid neologisms and acronyms.)

  17. 17.

    Tsulagi

    SWARSOTTAJSASICFOWTHTAD (Sometimes wingnuts are stupid, other times they are just silly, and sometimes I can’t figure out what the hell they are doing).

    It’s 11D Stupid.

  18. 18.

    Ajay

    I cant ever imagine going that blog, even when I want to read the stupids. I am just not worthy and patriotic enough.

  21. 21.

    Paul_D

    Betrayal has consequences.

    DLTDHYOTWO.

    Sounds more like Ned flanders on teh brown acid.

  23. 23.

    cyntax

    Are you saying that Malkin is a Shoggoth? Because I could totally see that.

    Have you ever seen her and a shoggoth in the same room? Think about that. Or don’t…

    if you value your sanity.

    You sound like Cthulu to me.

    Nope, just an alderman at his church.

  24. 24.

    licensed to kill time

    MMMMROFLSISNAMBLA.

    (Michelle Malkin makes me roll on floor laughing she is so nasty and mean but loves acronyms.)

  25. 25.

    Osprey

    @Dreggas:

    I think they’d have to physically collide for a wingularity to occur. Sort of like if a piece of anti-matter smacked into actual matter.

    But in their case they’re both anti-intelligent…so I’d guess if one of them were to smack into Albert Einstein…we’d have a wingularity…and every bit of intelligence within 2000 light years would collapse at a single point, eventually attained an unsustainable intelligence…at which point it would explode, sending out shockwaves of intelligence into the universe, and every puddle of primordial alien goo would become a sentient, living organism…and planet earth would be the dumbest place in the universe…sort of like a planet-wide 24/7 TeaParty rally.

  29. 29.

    p.a.

    Maybe Bart can respond to possible illegal immigrant Maglalang with one we’ve used at work for ages- DILLIGAF (do I look like I give a f@#%)

    Hey, I should have remembered that when the Tunch t-shirt caption contest was going on.

  30. 30.

    beltane

    One of the cantos in Dante’s Inferno begins with a group of demons spouting gibberish that sounds suspiciously Malkinese. Back then, incoherent speech was a sign of Satanic possession, which would also account for Teabonics.

  31. 31.

    Paul L.

    JCPDWM1CD
    (John Cole predicts Democrats winning Michigan’s 1st congressional district.)
    Of course, I am pushing belief that the conventional wisdom is wrong and the Democrats will have even larger majorities after 2010.
    Just to enjoy the progressive temper tantrum exceeding the one from 1994, If the Republicans retake either House.

  33. 33.

    Poopyman

    @cyntax:

    Hey! I think you said something mean about Cole’s mother in Klingon. Which I guess is a form of wingnut.

    ETA – The Klingonese, not Cole’s mom,

  36. 36.

    PRD

    Hey, give her a break. She can think up as many weird acronyms as she wants. After all, IOKIYAR.

  37. 37.

    Poopyman

    For today’s Confederate History Month moment, let’s remember that 145 years ago today Lee surrendered to Grant at Appomattox Court House.

    Yay! Go Rebs! We’re 0-1! We’re 0-1! We’re 0-1!

  39. 39.

    cyntax

    Dltdhyotwo! Ia! Ia Limbaugh!

    When attempting to banish Limbaugh, I believe that would be DLTDHYOTWTCR.

    At least since the healthcare bill passed.

    Incantations are tricky things; if you get that one wrong, it negates the protection of your pentagram and you could be trapped in an unspeakable dimension where you have to listen to reruns of his radio shows for all eternity while looking at pictures of his “vacations.”

  44. 44.

    SGEW

    (INDISTINGUISHABLE SOUNDS)
    (A CULTIVATED MALE HUMAN VOICE)

    . . . so from the wells of night to the gulfs of space, ever the praises of Great Cheneyulhu, of Reagath, and of the Bush Who is not to be Named. Ever Their praises, and abundance to the Black Goat of the Woods! Eh-ya-yahaah e’yayaa ngh’aaa h’yuh!

    (A BUZZING IMITATION OF HUMAN SPEECH)

    Iä! Iä! Sarah-Palinurath! The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young!

    (From a recording discovered by Dr. Armitage, Miskatonic University)

  46. 46.

    lamh31

    Sarah Palin on TV now. If I was the WH, I pre-empt the ex-guv with the President’s statement on the WV miners and SCOTUS retirement.

    But POTUS probably has too much class.

  47. 47.

    El Tiburon

    MPIYAMPIB

    (my pee is yellow and my poop is brown)

    For a 43-year old, this is good news as I am in perfect health.

  50. 50.

    Brick Oven Bill

    This is a fun game. Behold:

    TWTSINTBFBHYHOYHFAOLTPSAY

    The Way To Salvation Is Not To Be Found By Holding Your Hands Over Your Head Forming An O Like The People Standing Around You

  52. 52.

    Napoleon

    @cleek:

    Update: Stupak’s press conference statement was heavy on the Demcare cheerleading, silent on his pro-life views.

    I wish I recall where I read this but there was a story in the last week or two where at the end Stupak made a comment which made it sound like he had finally concluded that the “pro” life people pushing him to make a stand never gave a f— about anything but killing the bill.

  55. 55.

    snabby

    Wow, 13 syllables for an unpronounable acronym, and 10 syllables for the actual words. Perfect.

    LSMFT

  56. 56.

    lamh31

    Pres Obama to speaking.

    Please, please let him walk out before the snow ho finishes.

    And the the guv is is gone. Even Fox news cut away.

    Here’s hoping POTUS speaks til her speech is done.

  57. 57.

    Joey Maloney

    @Napoleon: Jesus H. Suffering Christ fucking his mistress in a C Street hot-pillow joint, how fucking stupid do you have to be to not figure that out until just now?

    It’s like his brain is a superconductor but that thing on his head is keeping it too warm to function properly.

  58. 58.

    scav

    FSM, the morans with signs aren’t even spelling them correctly according to these criteria. . .

  59. 59.

    gogol's wife

    Malkin must have read Anna Karenina, where Levin proposes to Kitty by writing out the first letters of the words in a long sentence. When she immediately understands what he’s trying to say, they know they’re meant for each other. It’s stupid there too.

  60. 60.

    Anton Sirius

    @cyntax:

    When attempting to banish Limbaugh, I believe that would be DLTDHYOTWTCR.

    Now I’m having flashbacks to the classic Hope/Crosby film, On the Road to Celephais.

  63. 63.

    bemused

    Oh man. For the last couple of days I have been thinking & grousing about how everything, I mean everything not just internet/text/twitter, is converted to an acronym now. Sometimes, it drives me crazy. No one can possibly remember them all & new ones crop up daily.

  64. 64.

    Poopyman

    @Cat
    Oh that title is priceless! Is it just my own adolescent humor, or what?
    Tea Party Members Raise Flag On Own Pole
    Capitol Police Said Flag Could Not Fly

  65. 65.

    Paul in KY

    @dmsilev: I think she is a spawn of Shub Niggurath (hope I spelled that right), the ‘goat with a thousand young’.

  69. 69.

    Paul in KY

    Go valdiva, gettin a piece in the Wonkette (in a literary way, since it’s Wonkette I felt I had to elaborate)!!

    Great job!

  70. 70.

    TooManyJens

    @Randy P:

    I still can’t figure out why Stupak became the enemy.

    Because he’s not a Republican. Does anyone think that if a Republican Congressman had pushed for the executive order, and a Republican President had signed it, the right wouldn’t be hailing it as a major victory?

  71. 71.

    BombIranForChrist

    Malkin’s just treading water at this point, waiting for the inevitable backlash when all her conservative admirers realize that she isn’t blond.

    Keep hope alive, Malkin.

  73. 73.

    scav

    technically, what is the linguistic relationship between Malbonics, Teabonics, Glibberish and twitterese?

  76. 76.

    Mark S.

    @Napoleon:

    I wish I recall where I read this but there was a story in the last week or two where at the end Stupak made a comment which made it sound like he had finally concluded that the “pro” life people pushing him to make a stand never gave a f—- about anything but killing the bill.

    Here’s one (last paragraph):

    Last week, Stupak attacked the bishops and other anti-abortion groups for “great hypocrisy” in opposing Obama’s executive order after having supported former President George W. Bush’s executive order banning stem cell research in 2007. He told the Daily Caller he believed the bishops and the groups they were allied with were “just using the life issue to try to bring down health-care reform.”

  78. 78.

    The Moar You Know

    Bart triangulated himself right out of a job.

    @Allan: The seat goes GOP.

    Next stop, Arkansas.

    That one’s going GOP too. Got any more good news?

  80. 80.

    MikeJ

    @The Moar You Know: Do you think he would have won had he stayed in the race? I’d prefer to have a democrat in the seat, in a pain in the ass Dem like Stupak. However, he’s the one who did it. Had he been quiet from the start he would have been no more of a target than any other Dem and he might have had some friends to help him.

    It’s hard to blame any Democrat for Bart shooting himself in the nuts.

  81. 81.

    Gus

    Don’t you create acronyms to shorten something? If every word in the phrase is a single syllable, isn’t it stupid to make an acronym that actually has more syllables then the phrase you’re acronyming (acronymizing?)?

  84. 84.

    scav

    Pope can’t catch a break. This one (with sig) is epic enough for an opera (esp. as it may need to be sung in a foreign language to be even remotely palatable.

  87. 87.

    kay

    @valdivia:

    I read it and I think it’s very funny. I’m so glad you did it. She can’t be treated seriously. That has to stop.

  88. 88.

    Shinobi

    Malkin is a perfect example of my favorite IT help desk acronym.

    PEBKAC

    (Problem Exsists Between Keyboard and Chair.)

  89. 89.

    Joey Maloney

    @Paul in KY:

    Shub Niggurath (hope I spelled that right), the ‘goat with a thousand young’.

    a/k/a “Micky Kaus’s girlfriend”.

  91. 91.

    valdivia

    @kay:

    I must confess that I was having so much fun last night having her there harshing on my date as she trashed Obama was very annoying. Taking the pics and telling y’all about it was the only way I could get mine back.

  93. 93.

    The Grand Panjandrum

    IJGTWIROHBKEAATMIOBTFTATM (I’m just glad Tiger Woods is rusty otherwise he’d be kicking everybody’s ass at the Masters instead of being tied for third at the moment.)

    Any chance that makes it into the lexicon?

  96. 96.

    brendancalling

    I have an acquaintance who’s a teabagger, and whenever he posts something insane on facebook, i can usually tell whio he’s been listening to or reading, because he pretty much cuts and pastes their comments.

    today it was “bart stupak, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

    i don’t think he even realizes that Stupak is anti-abortion.

  99. 99.

    Tony J

    @scav:

    Re: Scav

    Ooohhh. That’s got to hurt, and the immediate “Well, it’s hardly surprising that there are individual documents of a seemingly incriminating nature which possibly show the Holy Father protecting child-rapists, but they have to be seen in the context of them not proving anything at all to fully appreciate how they don’t prove anything at all.” response should come with added glyphs to indicate gulps of terror and panic.

    So, now Ratzinger’s defenders can’t* claim that he was actually fighting a long and noble war to expose the homosexual cabal that – if you listen to them – clearly and irrefutably took over every aspect of the Catholic Church that had any contact with child-rape claims sometime around whenever it’s most convenient to say they took over, but he kept it really, really quiet until now because, well, that’s just how traditionalist Popes roll.

    * Can’t, as in, still obviously will carry on making stupid, mudraking arguments that this is all a Liberal Media hit-job on an innocent conservative hero. It’s not like we’re talking about people with any appreciation for the value of ‘truth’ here, is it?

  100. 100.

    burnspbesq

    @scav:

    Niiiiiiiiiiiice.

    Not easy being a Catholic these days. I was an altar boy in the mid-1960s, and none of that shit happened to me (or, for that matter, to anyone I know). Puts a slightly different spin on “there but for the grace of God go you or I.”

  101. 101.

    kay

    @valdivia:

    I just think it’s perfect that you would spot Peggy, and she’d be trashing Obama. She’s obsessed with him, clearly, in addition to having a drinking problem.

  102. 102.

    DonkeyKong

    Malkin’s post is welsh for “revenge is a dish best served with empathy on your behind, craziness!”

    A little Steele, a little Khan, it’s all good.

  103. 103.

    mak

    Speaking of soon-to-be-switched seats (see what I did there?), just saw this comment on the Weigel blog by Kim Hasney, an erstwhile Joseph Cao supporter, and thought this lady deserves a little infamy:

    “He had fundraisers, he had meetings, all in the suburbs — the white suburbs,” said Hasney, who attended one of those events. “He had nothing in the district. We got him elected. Then, he goes and says ‘but I have to represent my district,’ which is all liberal, giveaway, spread-the-wealth, welfare, black. We thought he would try to change the demographics of that district by supporting things that were not giveaway things. You know, supporting things that would get them out of the ghetto.”

    There’s actually more where that came from, like this gem:

    “I’m not just talking about black people,” she said. “The Vietnamese people flourish in that area because they’re workers.”

    After a quick blog search, I was surprised to find only a couple references to this quote (though she was quoted in a 2008 Ben Smith post saying something equally stupid).

    Anyway, just felt like sharing.

  105. 105.

    Alex S.

    Isn’t it kinda counter-productive to explain the anagram you use? (IIKC-PTETAYU) You essentially waste a few letters instead of saving them, not that this is different from the republican budget plans.

  106. 106.

    kay

    @Martin:

    I don’t know, Martin. I watched Stupak interviewed and he says the tea partiers aren’t from his district.

    He says the tea party calls came from California and Texas on his health care vote. He’s a local and it’s a rural area. It’s a lot like where I live.

    If Democrats can portray this like they did NY 24, as out of town operatives making this a national race, the locals will resent it.

    That Grover Norquist group came in here once and tried to tell the locals how to vote in a House race, and tried to cast the race as a vote for fiscal conservatism. It failed, big time. People resented the interference.

    It’s a tough seat to hold, but the tea partiers may be blowing it, by taking it away from the locals.

  107. 107.

    kay

    @Martin:

    I guess I assumed the tea partiers were going to blame Stupak’s retirement on the Lefty challenger.

    They’re not. The national tea party group are running around crowing that they forced the local House member to resign.

    I just don’t think that plays in rural areas. His district has the same make-up as mine: it’s 30% dems, 30% R’s and 30% Right-leaning independents. They pride themselves on that “independent” and they’re not real fond of outside groups.

  112. 112.

    jake the snake

    @cyntax:

    Ph

    ’nglui mglw’nafh Malkin R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtan.

    You owe Cthulhu an apology. Cthulhu is nowhere as evil as Malkin.

  113. 113.

    Allan

    Given a choice between a Democrat who makes legislation shittier before voting for it and a Republican who simply doesn’t vote for it, I’ll take the Republican.

  114. 114.

    HE Pennypacker, Wealthy Industrialist

    Well now you’ve done it, the Confederate Wankee has deleted all comments to this post. You’ve hurt his feelings. His BBQ sits forlorn, rusting.

Comments are closed.