Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

How stupid are these people?

Nothing says ‘pro-life’ like letting children go hungry.

Live so that if you miss a day of work people aren’t hoping you’re dead.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

This must be what justice looks like, not vengeful, just peaceful exuberance.

You cannot shame the shameless.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

One way or another, he’s a liar.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

We can’t confuse what’s necessary to win elections with the policies that we want to implement when we do.

Republican speaker of the house Mike Johnson is the bland and smiling face of evil.

“When somebody takes the time to draw up a playbook, they’re gonna use it.”

“What are Republicans afraid of?” Everything.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

The real work of an opposition party is to hold the people in power accountable.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

Stop using mental illness to avoid talking about armed white supremacy.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

Hi god, it’s us. Thanks a heap, you’re having a great week and it’s only Thursday!

We are aware of all internet traditions.

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61Comments

  10. 10.

    jl

    Wasn’t Cole supposed to show up with pics of where his new house used to be, or at least all those animals finishing it off? Or did Tunch finally have enough, seriously for reals, and ett ‘im up?

  11. 11.

    PaulW

    UK elections are sabotaged by the LARCH.

    The… LARCH.

    The… LARCH.

    Slide two: The… LARCH.

    Slide three: The Horse Chestnut.

  21. 21.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    OT but where are the pics of this new house that Cole is living in? I want to see it. I want to see this lawn that Cole says he is mowing, I want to see these bushes that Cole says he is trimming. I want to see the kitchen, does it have granite counter-tops? Are there stainless steel appliances? Is there a powder room on the ground floor of this place? I think we loyal readers have a right to know about this place. Oh and Cole never said, is this another rental or did John buy the place. Cause if he bought the place we can go all over the “house ownership” thingy whereas us “home improvement” gang can own the whole “refurbishing the floors and decorating the bathroom” meme.

  24. 24.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Mark S.: North Carolina, then Virginia, now I’m back in NoCar. I’m leaving to go back to MN at asscrack of dawn tomorrow morning. I’ve had a total blast. My friend and her family are awesome, and the concert (Vienna Teng) was amazing!

    How is everyone else doing?

  25. 25.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    @Loneoak:

    When Tony Blair’s party was elected (remember elections in the UK are VERY different than the US, we do not vote for Prime Minister, the party that wins gets to pick their Prime Minister generally the leader of the party), anyhoo where was I, OH yes, when Tony Blair’s party was elected to the majority my mother said “and the heavens will open and we will live in a sochulist utopia” however, she opined that Tony Blair was one of the best Conservative Prime Minister’s that she has ever known, she compared him to Maggie Thatcher. Not sure how she thinks about Gordon Brown, but sochulist utopia is the way to go, the cons cannot win if they even think about repealing any of the social programmes in the UK, they will be doomed. However, the labor party in the UK are alot more center left than they are the sochulist fairies.

  27. 27.

    jl

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    Too late. Cole found himself hosting a hord of wild animals which he euphemistically described as ‘pets’, and said they would probably tear everything down.

    Now poor Cole has not shown up with pics. I fear the worst.

  28. 28.

    jl

    @me: And David Hume, spy and thug, is one of the Queen’s most dangerous agents.

    I turned on the TV one day long ago and those were the first words I ever heard this nutcake say, who I later found out was Lyndon LaRouche.

    But now, I realize he is right, you know?

    Edit: just did a search. Lotsa stuff named Acorn in the UK. it has been infiltrated. I learn that the UK and Cole lost in the same weekend. How sad.

  29. 29.

    Loneoak

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    I don’t have any idea how that relates to my comment, but thanks for the insight.

    Meanwhile, my dog Turnip has adopted the charming habit of burying her after-dinner cookie in the yard and then crying for another.

    And I’m about to go sit in my hot tub overlooking the Monterrey Bay, drink a handmade margarita and read last week’s New Yorker. Suckas.

  31. 31.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    @jeffreyw:

    Fan chew, fan chew very much. I love this time of year. My DH will be having his first fresh salad within a week (cut and come again method), I will be pickling fresh onions in a month or so, I will be feeding the birdies (Melody and Harmony that is) fresh broccoilli in a week or so, and soon the radishes will be adding to my DH’s fresh salad. There is something quite special going out to the garden with a bowl and snipping off lettuce leaves, pulling up radishes, picking off pods of peas, piling it all into a bowl and pouring on a home made “sort of russian” dressing. My DH, who spent his life in the Marine Corps eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and baloney sandwiches now can tell the difference between store bought bag lettuce and home grown fresh picked leaves. I have created a monster.

  35. 35.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    @asiangrrlMN:

    yeah but its five more days of getting up a 6am, going to work for 8+ hours a day, then getting home having to feed pets, make dinner, do laundrym etc, etc, until the glorious weekend when we can sleep til 8am and then do what we want. Okay so I am weird.

  37. 37.

    Anne Laurie

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    In other news I spent the weekend “girly gardening”…

    Wow, now I am sooo jealous. My Spousal Unit loves torenia, but for the last couple of years, I haven’t seen any of what the local garden centers call “clown flowers” or “summer pansies” for sale. And for the last 36 hours it’s been cold and raining here, so no gardening, although I’m still hoping it will clear up enough tomorrow that I can mow the lawn for the first time this season. (Three-day weekend, yaaa boo! for Patriots Day, when the farmers down the road in Lexington took the first potshots from cover against… soldiers from some kind of occupying army.)

    Also, the lilac trusses are looking very promising — “Lilac Sunday” usually falls on Mothers Day but they’re running several weeks ahead of schedule so far…

  38. 38.

    Yutsano

    @asiangrrlMN: Laryngitis sucks. Even if it got me out of a work day not being able to talk bites the big weiner (and no I’m not talking Anthony). If I’m not better by tomorrow I’ll head down to the clinic and see if I need an antibiotic or something else. This is what I get for keeping promises. On the plus side, I used the downtime to apply for a new job. It’s in Portland but as I have an aunt who lives in Vancouver I have zero issue being a commuter from up north. So gonna see what all happens there. It might turn out to be very exciting as if I get a foot in the door with this company I could mold my career in a number of different ways.

    Oh and tell BoB to stop hitting on me.

  39. 39.

    demimondian

    @Litlebritdifrnt: That’s “spelt”, I think.

    Spoiled and slightly used grain, I mean. Sort of like the British way of abusing proper English spelling.

    /ducks

  41. 41.

    Yutsano

    @demimondian: Nope, gonna stand up for the Brits here. American typesetters started changing the spelling of certain words basically as a fuck you to the English shortly before the Revolution. After that it all pretty much went downhill, which is why Canadians look at us funny when we say they spelled a word wrong. It’s actually us, but I’m not in the mood to go changing it all back.

  43. 43.

    burnspbesq

    @Yutsano:

    “Oh and tell BoB to stop hitting on me.”

    You have an opportunity to perform a great public service. Does the name “Lorena Bobbit” ring any bells?

    Yes, I’m kidding. Mostly.

  44. 44.

    Yutsano

    @burnspbesq: Oh man. Don’t tempt me. I’ll do it. I’m a Scorpio, I’m evil enough to go there. You will have to get me a good defense attorney referral for the service.

  46. 46.

    Yutsano

    @Tattoosydney: Our term for the stuff comes from the Latin parts of our continents, so one could make the argument we’re simply expressing our multiculturalism there. Or again we’re just being stubborn. I can’t rule out either possibility.

  48. 48.

    Tattoosydney

    @Yutsano:

    Our term for the stuff comes from the Latin parts of our continents….

    I knew that the Portugese word was “coentro” but it hadn’t even entered my head that the US was using a spanish word… well there you go.

    How you?

  49. 49.

    burnspbesq

    @Yutsano:

    Yut … who? Never heard of the fellow. He did what??? Throw the book at him.

    He says I suggested it? Well, he’s obviously on drugs, and nothing he says should be taken seriously.

  51. 51.

    Yutsano

    @Tattoosydney: Interestingly enough coriander here refers to the seed and not the plant, whereas everywhere else they’re used interchangeably. When I was slightly stupider I was watching Nigella Lawson cooking (one of my crushes but I digress…) and she said she was using coriander and holding something green and leafy. The cornfuzzlement stuck around for awhile until I did a bit more research. I can be taught on occasion.

    If I don’t have my voice back by tomorrow I’m heading to the clinic to figure out what to do from here. I know for sure I ain’t gonna go back to work unless I’m certain I’m not gonna infect the whole office. For a phone support center that would be umm bad.

    @burnspbesq: Life is sucky when you try to laugh your ass off and no sound comes out.

  52. 52.

    Tattoosydney

    @Yutsano:

    Oh and tell BoB to stop hitting on me.

    Hee.

    ETA: You may want to let him know that you are actually a man. He seemed a little unclear on the concept with me for a while there. (Noting of course that that was “Actual” spoof BoB, not whatever of the front pagers is pretending to be Bob now.)

  54. 54.

    Yutsano

    @Tattoosydney: I was choosing instead to let him discover that little factoid on his lonesome. The ensuing meltdown would have been hilarious. Or I’d just go right back to being ignored. Either result is satisfactory to me.

  55. 55.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    Silly question. Acorn clearly stole the elections in most of the rest of the world years ago.

    That’s why they have things like universal health care. The poor bastards.

  56. 56.

    Mark S.

    Kevin Drum has a good post on how frustrating the politics of financial reform is:

    Brutal partisan brawling over things like healthcare reform and climate change legislation was (and is) entirely unsurprising. It was the same old fights as always, and it never really left me with a feeling that politics had broken down in any real way. Financial reform is different.

    Different because, despite the fact that almost everybody hates bankers and thinks at least some reform is necessary, the Dems are offering very modest reforms and the goopers aren’t offering anything. But I don’t know if I agree with this:

    If your city were nearly destroyed by a huge earthquake, proposing better building standards would be an obvious response. It wouldn’t be a left vs. right thing, it would be a property developers vs. everyone else thing.

    I could definitely see the Republicans being against all of this. If there is one thing I’ve learned about goopers in the last year and a half, it’s that they don’t give a fuck about governing. They just want power; they couldn’t care less if something is necessary or not. If they could win a news cycle opposing building codes, they would do it in a heartbeat.

  59. 59.

    fucen tarmal

    @burnspbesq:

    i don’t know what more rag i mean ranger fans want, nineteen-ninety-four, will never be as cool of a chant as, nineteen-forty. so you have that going for you. also, potvin sucks, still hilarious.

    with the salary cap, you can only futilely purchase only half as many big named free agents as you used to, so the chances of you filling your roster with guys who won’t vastly under perform goes up quite a bit in the new nhl.

    but all in all, as a penguins fan, i can’t say i hate the rangers all that much. i don’t remember you costing us anything important.

  61. 61.

    Barney

    Bwahah, ACORN already controls the entire British economy and media, and most of the world!

    Acorn Computers made the BBC Computer, which was introduced into all classrooms in the country by the government in the 80s. So, ACORN controls all the IT systems of the BBC, and thus all of its output in this digital age! And it has been brainwashing British children for nearly 30 years!

    As if that wasn’t enough, the company spawned ARM Holdings, which has designed microchips in most of the mobile phones in the world! All your phones are belong to ACORN! Fixing an election is but a small part of their nefarious plans.

    Well, it’s roughly as logical as the accusations about ACORN and American politics.

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