From Reuters, via the Washington Post, “Ahmadinejad plans exodus to avert quake disaster”:
… Like the people of San Francisco, Tehranis know their sprawling metropolis is due for a massive earthquake. In Iran, where building standards have not advanced as quickly as the population, some estimate millions could be killed or maimed.
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In an Islamic society where disasters are often seen as acts of God, Ahmadinejad told housing officials they could no longer rely on the power of prayer to save Tehran from annihilation.
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“Tehran has 13 million inhabitants. If an incident happens, how can we manage it? Therefore, Tehran should be evacuated,” said Ahmadinejad, a former mayor of the city, announcing financial aid for people who move to towns with a population of less than 25,000. “At least 5 million people should leave Tehran,” he said.
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When the last major earthquake hit, in 1831, Tehran was tiny compared to the metropolis where today the work-day population can reach 15 million. As a huge quake is reckoned to hit the area around every 150 years, seismologists say one is now well overdue.
“If such a thing does happen in Tehran it will be the biggest disaster in humanity,” said Farid Mehdian, who headed a seismic study 10 years ago which gave a conservative estimate that half a million people would die in the next ‘big one’.
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Mehdian, an architect, said it would take 100 years and billion of dollars to make Tehran’s buildings earthquake proof, but he does not think the alternative policy — moving the masses out of town — has been properly thought through. “Of course, if the population of Tehran was 3 million it would be easier to manage the risk, but it’s impossible to move the population of Tehran somewhere else.”
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One problem is where to move them as most of the inhabited areas of Iran are also in earthquake zones. “By moving them (there) you are just moving their graves,” Mehdian said.
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The main obstacle Ahmadinejad will face is persuading Tehranis to leave Iran’s economic, political and cultural heart, independent daily Ettela’at said in an editorial which asked why millions of Iranians had moved to Tehran in the first place.
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“For its pollution? Its traffic jams? The impatient and aggressive people? … Wealth and job opportunities are its attractions.”
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“The need to reduce Tehran’s population is undeniable but no one will leave his home and his job for 200 square meters of land in a small city and a 10 million-toman (around $10,000) low interest loan,” the newspaper said…
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Indicating the government was also aware of this, Ahmadinejad’s first deputy, Mohammad Reza Rahimi, on Saturday announced a plan to relocate some ministries, companies and other organizations to outside Tehran.
It also occurs to me that previous authoritarian societies have tried to deter popular resistance movements by dispersing the critical mass of people and services from large, anonymous capitals into relatively underdeveloped regions where every new face or political meeting would stand out, but maybe I’m just too cynical as a result of growing up in Ankh-Morpork… I mean, NYC.
In the best both-sides-of-every-issue newsmedia tradition, Reuters reports a different opinion on the best way to preserve Tehran:
Leading Friday prayers, the focal point of Iran’s religious week, Ayatollah Kazem Sadighi said better observance of Islamic rules on modesty would help ward off an earthquake. “Those women who dress inappropriately will tempt youngsters and it will finally lead major sins being committed and in that case the wrath of God will be sent upon us,” he said.
Joey Maloney
Ayatollah Kazem Sadighi has made a testable claim about religion. Boobquake aims to test it:
Boobquake’s Facebook page
Follow #boobquake on Twitter
SiubhanDuinne
There isn’t a nano-scintilla of difference between this ayatollah and the likes of Falwell and Robertson.
stuckinred
@SiubhanDuinne: Except Falwell is dead.
arguingwithsignposts
I for one welcome our new boob overlords!
And since this is probably an OT, John O’Hara on TDS: Is he angling for the Wingnut Welfare Circuit early or what?
SiubhanDuinne
@stuckinred: Well, yeah okay, you have a point.
But the other two are *brain dead*!!
WereBear
Gee, a prediction that relies on how often “youngsters” think about sex.
kommrade reproductive vigor
There’s no point asking if, the only question is when will some piddling teatard start screaming that Ahmalamadingdong plans to relocate the population of Tehran to downtown Tel Aviv?
JGabriel
So how long before someone on the right (Ace, Confed Yanker, The Corner, etc.) comes up with a post recommending that, instead of nuking Iran, maybe we should covertly set off an earthquake in Tehran by developing a secret fault-displacing quake-causing device?
For my bet, I’ll take The Corner within 36 hours.
.
mai naem
How long before Joe Lieberman with BFFs Not Maverick McCain and Gay Lindsay accuse Scary Black Muslim Kenyan Man of allowing this and how it’s make it harder from them getting a hard on from seeing a bombed to smithereens Teheran ?
Bill E Pilgrim
@JGabriel: A chain of “Hooters” there would accomplish the same thing. Apparently. And is much more our style, even when we’re not officially invading anyone, our cultural imperialism never sleeps.
Shalimar
The next big earthquake is already 30 years overdue. Doesn’t this suggest that rather than displeasing God with the thing that bothers this particular ayatollah most, maybe the people of Tehran are doing a pretty damn good job of pleasing him already? Maybe God really likes looking at scantily-dressed women and what they really need is more of that?
Julia Grey
maybe we should covertly set off an earthquake in Tehran by developing a secret fault-displacing quake-causing device?
How long after a natural quake occurs will Ahmadinnerjacket blame a secret American fault-displacing device?
Linda Featheringill
Ah, yes. Immodestly dressed Iranian women DO cause earthquakes. Yes. It’s true. It is a fact.
kommrade reproductive vigor
Like Doughy Pantload jogging on a treadmill sort of thing?
mr. whipple
@Joey Maloney:
From your link: “Jen McCreight is a liberal, geeky, nerdy, scientific, perverted atheist feminist trapped in Indiana. Send help.”
I think I’m in love.
Shalimar
New York is doomed.
Mjaum
@Linda Featheringill:
Nah, they just make the earth move.
someguy
Stupid fucker. As everybody knows from the Icelandic and Alaskan experiences, global warming is causing the current wave of earthquakes (and volcanoes). Sex has nothing to do with it.
On the other hand, it makes me feel better as a American to know that the brand of religious ignorance my country is best at, isn’t completely unique to ‘Murrica.
And FWIW, scantily clad women do make the earth move for me, but I’m pretty sure that’s a subjective phenomena.
dr. bloor
@JGabriel:
If Sadighi is right, this would be as simple as air-dropping the inhabitants of the Playboy Mansion into the middle of the city.
SiubhanDuinne
Test. What happened to the Drill Here thread?
FYWP
Tonybrown74
Yeah … it’s all women’s fault if an earthquake flattens Tehran. The damned whores, always dressing in those slutty burkhas …
socraticsilence
Wait- if Mullah McCrackpot is right then we can win through liberalization while still pleasing the Neo-cons- we just need to encourage Iranian women to harness the power of their BMDs (Boobs of Mass Destruction- I went with Boobs because its funnier).
allium
PROBLEM: Tehran needs structurally sound buildings.
FACT: The Basij are firm, upright men, as so lovingly demonstrated after the elections last year.
SOLUTION: Use the Basij to retrofit the buildings. Ten or twenty holding up each wall should do it.
Loo
The acts of God thing is silly. I used to live in Iran, and while a lot of people saw the Bam earthquake in 2004 as an act of God in that such things cannot be avoided, they squarely blamed the authorities for their incompetence and negligence.
At least 40,000 people died in that earthquake, and Bam wasn’t even that big as far as cities go.
Will
Tehran has 13 million people?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_cities_proper_by_population
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_metropolitan_areas_by_population
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_urban_areas_by_population
No, it seems like Tehran has more between 7 and 8 million citizens. Nothing to sneeze at, but I wonder how Ahmadinejad is arriving at that number. Even incorporating the “metropolitan area” into a city, the top 20 cities go from Tokyo at 32.4 million to Karachi at 11.8. Tehran is not included in this list at all.
Uloborus
@JGabriel:
…they think we have them and have used them as weapons already. I’m not kidding. That’s really COMMON among the conspiracy theorists, earthquake weapons. You haven’t run into it yet?
EDIT: It’s right up there with ‘medical satellites’, which are my favorite ‘Say what?’ conspiracy theory.
Mike in NC
Would-be President McCain had a plan to reduce Tehran’s population. Now he’ll soon be sitting in his recliner 24/7, and nobody will miss him.