I see via DougJ that the epistemic closure wankfest is still in full effect, and while I’m really enjoying laughing at the shock the “conservative intellectuals” are having, part of me just wants to tell them to choke on a hamburger. Who do they think came up with all the bullshit that is coming back to haunt them?
These concerns about the “closing of the conservative mind” are humorous until you realize that it was the conservative intellectuals and elites who spoon-fed the masses bullshit for decades in order win elections. Let’s just look at a partial list of the stuff these right-wing Frankenvoters believe:
-stem cell research is murdering babies
-Al Gore is a greater threat to America than climate change
-John Kerry is a war criminal and George Bush is a war hero
-liberals want to teach your kid to be gay
-liberals want to abort your baby
-the estate tax is the greatest infringement on human liberty ever
-we can drill our way to energy independence
-you have to torture people in order to keep America safe
-liberals want to release terrorists into our cities
-only the second half of the first amendment and the second amendment count
-the more you cut taxes, the more money the government will take in
-free markets will handle everything
-evolution is just a “theory”
-liberals hate America
-ACORN stole the 2008 election
-lying about a blowjob is a serious crime, lying about a war is not
-Obama is a socialist Muslim Kenyan
And on and on and on and on. And where were the conservative intellectuals and elites when all this stuff was being spread? Oh, that is right. They were the ones spreading it from their sinecures at Koch funded “think tanks,” wingnut welfare organizations, magazines like the NRO and the Weekly Standard, and at their various right-wing media outlets.
And now the “conservative intellectuals” are SHOCKED that conservatives have closed minds. You all spent the last 30 years turning every issue into a binary construct, and then lying about half of the god damned equation, and now you are shocked that people’s minds are closed? If I believed all liberals wanted to abort my baby, and then if it miraculously survived, teach it to be a certain sexual orientation, and then later on hold death panels to see if it would be allowed to have medical treatment, my mind would be closed, too. I’d be going to tea parties screaming about shit and chanting “I want my country back.”
Here’s what the conservative intellectuals are upset about- they spent years spreading this stuff, knowing it was nonsense, and now the people they convinced have no use for them anymore. Look at the poll a couple years ago about what conservative “intellectuals” and elites thought about evolution. PRO-TIP- they almost all believed in it.
So spare me the shock. You assholes made this mess, and if you read NRO or watch FOX or the rest of the right-wing media outlets, they are still spreading this bullshit and doubling down on the crazy for nothing other than political advantage. I missed all the “conservative intellectuals” calling Mitch McConnell a liar last week when he ignored the 200 pages in the financial reform bill that deals with dissolving failed organizations and instead characterized the bill as creating permanent bailouts. Did you all happen to catch any conservative intellectuals shooting that obvious lie down? I sure missed them.
So just spare me.
Zifnab
Careful. That means different things in Minnesota.
Zifnab
But liberals do it too, but worse!
Konrad2
I don’t comment almost at all, but I’d like to say that I love posts like these, and they are largely why I visit this website so often!
Calouste
OT, but I think John is going to get some more complaints about the ads on this site (not from me though). I’m curious what the rationale behind Evony’s advertising strategy is though, and how much fabric will feature in it a few months down the line.
stevie314159
Has Sarah Palin tweeted about this yet?
BTW, Levin pronounces his name le-VIN, like it was French or something.
The Dangerman
@Calouste:
Haven’t seen Evony; I’m getting a kid laxative followed by Ann Coulter (kinda fitting, come to think of it).
aarrgghh
i have nothing to add to john’s lovely rant but this.
Linkmeister
In the category Best Rant I hereby award this week’s Internet to you.
stuckinred
The press caused us to lose in Vietnam.
Keith G
My bro is a 58 yr old MD who I used to think was rather sane for a conservative. The Clintons stressed him out and Obama has put him over the edge.
Today the topic was Obama ordering Lafayette Park closed to end DADT demos and a return to the “health care proved Obama lied” about wanting a transparent government. He was amazingly worked up. Reminds me of Michael Douglas in Falling Down.
Its hard to reconcile my former respect for his intellect.
BTW there was a post a while back pointing to a take down of the “Obama is not transparent” meme. Anyone recall it?
The Grand Panjandrum
I salute you for this epic rant.
jrg
There’s going to be a new right-leaning TV network: “RightNetwork”. Lying to the rubes is good biddness. I cannot wait until they duke it out with Fox – either they both go further off the rails, or one of them starts introducing actual facts into reporting.
I’m not sure which would be worse for the GOP at this point.
beltane
@Keith G: Let me get this straight. Is your brother now so anti-Obama that he supports the repeal of DADT? If so, it might be a good thing for Obama to advocate for all kinds of horrible right-wing policies just so the right-wingers can oppose them. Being that it’s a tactic which works well with toddlers, it would probably work with the Republicans too.
geg6
John, you make me swoon when you get a fine rant on.
toujoursdan
Brilliant. There are about 20 more epic pieces of bullshit to add to your list (and I understand that it’s only a partial list), but brilliant.
DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)
@Zifnab:
No shit, why pick on Al’s supporters? ;)
Fucking righteous rant John, you pegged this one out of the park. They slammed the doors shut on their supporters minds and now wonder why they can’t get through to them?
You reap what you sow. If you are sowing little more than discontent and lies, that is all you are going to get in return.
ellaesther
@Zifnab: I was genuinely confused by this, and I’m not even from Minnesota.
But I do luv me my Al Franken.
You go, John! I’m glad you saw through it and came over to the light side.
Martian Buddy
Speaking of which, there’s a freedom spill spreading in the gulf.
Keith G
@beltane: I laughed at that as well. Actually, he is quite socially libertarian. And increasingly batty. For him, it was about one more proof the Obama is not the Messiah. Por hemplo:
And after I challenged that:
Sigh.
DarrenG
’tis indeed a righteous rant, but I think you missed the original point of the whole “epistemic closure” discussion, John.
Julian Sanchez (the dude who started it, and mis-used the term “epistemic closure”) posts a good clarification:
http://www.juliansanchez.com/2010/04/22/a-coda-on-closure/
Sanchez, Manzi, et al aren’t surprised that there are now lots of people that are completely trapped in the Bubble Of Bullshit, they’re pointing out that the Wurlitzer feedback loop of wingnut media is a Bad Thing for the cause of conservatism, precisely because it fosters closed-mindedness.
Mark S.
I’m beginning to think “conservative intellectual” is an oxymoron. The underlying philosophy of the movement is that rich people shouldn’t pay taxes. Everything else, the racism, gay-bashing, and fetus-loving is just to get enough yahoos to vote for policies that help the rich.
Litlebritdifrnt
John – your rant was perfect, if I may though I think a nicely placed “fucking” between Just and Spare would have been the icing on the cake.
Bob K
Nothing runs like a Deer.
If I may please speak. What they look down upon as trailer trash now, was in an earlier time usually referred to as “White Niggers – Irish”. Like Santa – they really DO exist. Right now a Gypsy is typing to you. How did you come to such a lowly state? I am no better than I need to be. (Whatever that means) My family had a nice farm in Hungary. We were not rich – we wish we were but not every one can win the lottery. We got by. A few bad harvests and we got behind in our taxes. The breaking point came when a tree crashed through the roof of the house and that was all she wrote. Great Grandfather threw up his hands and said “Enough is Enough” or something like that in Hungarian. They packed up what was worth carrying and threw it in the wagon and away we went. In this country we do not know the persecution that has been put apon the Romany. In England they are called travellers. In this country they are called Gypsy. But you do not know what it means to be Gypsy untiil you are one. You reading this. Imagine that your house burns down. There is very little left. You pick up the most important things you can. You take them to your minivan. But you are an orphan – you have no living relatives – you have no friends to go to. Where will you go? Thieves, Thieves, Tramps and Thieves. We heard it from the people in the town. My Granfather used to brew bathtub gin. Until it killed him. My father worked in a triple C camp. One day a letter came edged in black. It told him his mother was dead. When he turned eighteen he left the triple C camp and rode the rails for a while. Later on he went overseas during world war 2. The really weird thing at this point of the story was the when he was able to buy a car – Anybody here when they were kids have to take taxis to go grocery shopping? No – I didn’t think so. When he bought a car it was always a Volkswagen. When his last Volkswagen was condemned (rotten frame) he was car shopping. The dealer found him to a nice Nissan. My Father said nothing doing. The dealer said why – you already own a German car? My Father looked at him and said. I don’t mind an German car because during the war none of them were trying to kill me. My Father the Thief/Tramp had been trained as an aircraft mechanic and he was the one that would load the bombs on the plane and then taxi it out onto the runway for the pilot to fly his mission. Yes I’m trailier park – that doesn’t make me less than Prescott Bush’s children. P.S. My Grandfather on my Polish side – had to leave the country because he worked in a factory where two managers were screaming at him for a mistake he made and so he grabbed them and cracked their heads together. My grandfather died before I was able to meet him but his blood flows though my veins.
Alice Blue
I loves me some Balloon Juice!
nwithers
You never control a monster, by definition a monster can never be controlled. You can only slay it, be slain by it or become a monster yourself in the end.
Welcome to the monster’s gullet “conservative intellectuals”.
Keith G
@Bob K: Do you have a close relative known as Brick Oven Bill?
jharp
John and DougJ,
You guys are on fire. Great job.
Thank you.
Kevin
But how do you really feel? I think the Cole household needs a furry group hug.
Kevin
But how do you really feel? I think the Cole household needs a furry group hug. Hunter S. would have been proud.
Church Lady
John, given that you used to be a card carrying Republican, and have admitted to voting for W, not once, but twice, I’m just wondering how many of your Conservative Belief Bullshit bullet points you, yourself, embraced in your prior life?
poicephalus
Holy shit, John Cole.
That was a tabular fisking worthy of Doghouse or Billmon.
ksmiami
Gee – no one could have expected that demonizing the “elites” and lerning would come back to haunt the baby brooks of the world. They have been flinging this shit for years – I’m glad they are getting splattered.
Sir Nose'D
A-Fucking-Men. Preach it!
Cat Lady
You had me at epistemic closure wankfest.
Righteous rant.
kay
@ksmiami:
They’re going to lose a generation though. Not “lose” as in voters, but “lose” as in “voters knowing anything”.
An example: I read an interview today between Ezra Klein and Chris Dodd. There’s this constant battle that goes on between Congress and executive agencies. Congress wants power, but executive agencies were actually designed to be the “experts” on rule-writing regarding complex issues (think: EPA). So Congress passes broad outlines, and allocates responsibility, and agencies (regulatory and otherwise) write “rules”.
They’re just now drafting the rules for health care, at HHS. The rule-writing process, and what comes out of it, will make or break that legislation. It’s important.
Dodd thinks agencies can rule-write and regulate on finance reform, and there’s a competing faction in the Democratic Party who want that Congressional oversight and power, so want specifics in the bill, or a congressional committee.
There are good arguments on both sides. Agencies are experts, but they get “captured”, and the leadership changed when the Presidency changes. Congress has obvious problems with lobbyist influence, so no guarantee there.
When’s the last time you heard a debate like that on the Right? Did you hear it on Medicare prescription drug legislation? That was complex legislation that went to rule-writing.
There’s nothing “elitist” about knowing how something works.
This stuff is complex. They can’t just wish it away.
matoko_chan
well….one sure sign that this is a devastating wound to the right is Allahpundit hasn’t made a peep about this all day.
He’s prolly huffing nitro to happy up enough to make a good-news-for-conservatives spin on this.
Maybe Manzi’s defection from the Party line on climate will be a killing blow?
We can only hope.
;)
slag
I don’t think anyone can mention conservative “think tanks” without the scare quotes anymore.
WereBear
That was an awesome rant.
cleek
clap clap
clappity
clap
das da shit, JC.
HyperIon
Sometimes it is really hard for me to understand how you could have EVER been a republican.
Big City Mary
Gag-Tebow and the Denver Broncos-why is that not a surprise-will not see 1 minute of serious playing time-gag oh gag
Vicki Rehm
This may be off topic, but I saw a bumper sticker today in Magnolia Springs, AL that said:
Upset a Liberal
Work hard
Be happy
Is this old or new – it just seemed weird to me?
Heilchimp
John – I’ve been reading this blog for 6 years, and have never posted. I’ve got to say, when you’re on, you’re on. And tonight, with posts like this, you’re on.
Vicki Rehm
This may be off topic, but I saw a bumper sticker today in Magnolia Springs, AL that said:
Upset a Liberal
Work hard
Be happy
Is this old or new – it just seemed weird to me?
Peter
I’m doing all sorts of roof-raising and praise-signifying gesticulations right now, only you can’t see them.
I fucking love this blog.
mclaren
So my question is…
…Where did this myth of Republicanism as “the party of ideas” come from?
I’ve been listening to conservatives for 40 years. And the only “ideas” I’ve heard are the kind of crazy crap Cole points out. Liberals want American kids to die in Vietnam, liberals want a black buck to marry your white sister, liberals want to throw money at welfare queens who drive around in Cadillacs, cutting taxes increases gubmint revenue, ketchup is a vegetable, the Contras are the moral equivalent of the founding fathers, teaching evolution in schools caused the Columbine shootings, lying about a blowjob is solid legal justification for impeachment, Iraq is full of WMDs ready to blow up Washington D.C. in a giant mushroom cloud…
That’s all I’ve heard for 40 years from conservatives. Lies and delusions. I haven’t heard any of these grand “ideas” the so-called “party of ideas” is supposed to have.
So where are they? Where were all those “ideas” conservatives kept talking about?
I don’t see how anything’s changed in 2010. Sure, conservatives today are running on empty with no ideas and no clue and nothing to offer…but AFAICT the conservatives were running on empty back in 1964 when they opposed the national civil rights legislation and in 1965 when they opposed medicare and in 1968 when they opposed ending the war in Vietnam and in 1976 when the opposed the Equal Rights Amendment and in 1981 when they tried to shut down the EPA.
I’m still waiting to hear one serious credible idea from the Republicans in the last 40 years. Cole is right, the conservatives have been lying and spewing gibberish for 30 years, so how’d they ever get the rep as “the party of ideas”?
Dee Loralei
Most excellent rant, sir! And Amen!
MikeBoyScout
Excellent rant. And spot on.
Now…. How about our new Stiller, Maurkice Pouncey!
Another excellent, and truly conservative pick.
And let’s not forget our Guins battling in their 2nd OT for a first round advance.
Toast
Brilliant post. Totally agree. But… Again, newbie here, John. You bought this shit until up about six years ago. Yes? Can you point me to a post wherein you explain, definitively, WHAT CHANGED. I want to understand what got through to you, how you broke free.
NickM
Right on! I saw a Bloggingheads with Chait and Ramesh Ponnuru. Ramesh cops to the epistemic c, Chait nods consolingly. But then I think – hey – didn’t Ponnaru write “The Party of Death”? Google tells me he did. Does he see now why that kind of crap is a problem?
I haven’t debated a conservative in years, literally – not because I don’t want one, not because I’m unpersuable but because there’s no consensus reality and not much desire to win by persuasion.
Royston Vasey
@stevie314159: or like that non-descript town in New Zealand. But without the French accent.
/-|
flavortext
Bookmarked, cause damn if this isn’t right on!
Royston Vasey
@Bob K: Now I know why editors like carriage returns and paragraphs.
Church Lady
@Toast: More like four years ago. John changed his voter registration from R to D just before the 2006 mid-terms.
birthmarker
Magnolia Springs ROCKS! Read Redbird Christmas by Fannie Flagg if you haven’t already.
I saw a bumper sticker yesterday–said something like, “Fix the Mistake in 2010 and 2012.”
John–why did you turn? What was the last straw ?
AhabTRuler
@birthmarker:
Schiavo.
Mark S.
@Toast:
From the FAQ:
Dead Ernest
John, much like HeilC said above (#44), I also visit and read you regularly, daily.
Lots of reasons I’ve come to lurk rather than lament, lambast, let lose or loutloud here, at the GOB, or at many other other comment-able blogs.
The reason why is not important, but the reason I bring this up is to say that despite that dearly dedicated disinclination to declare…
well, I do declare. This here post of yours is so well done, so much the pith and the essence, awoken and eyeing of the world, that even though I am weary, I am tickled, thrilled and delighted. Blessings upon you.
Your mama done good.
Good on ya, Old Son.
birthmarker
Oh, OK, Schiavo. Yeah, that reeked of ridiculousness. At one point some breathless woman/talking head said, “And the president will be woken up in the middle of the night if necessary to sign legislation.” (paraphrase) I thought, “We are all so screwed.”
BTW here is a Kos diary that I thought made some good points.
http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2010/4/15/111943/843stickler
McLaren:
Let’s just look at the 1968 thing, there. Remember, all of ye, that the man who WON the 1968 election was the ANTI-WAR candidate. Yes, he talked about ending the war “with honor,” but make no mistake, he ran on ENDING the Vietnam war. He even had a “secret plan” to do so.
And he was not above talking about all the “Democrat wars” that the USA had fought in the 20th century, too. Same as it ever was.
JMarra
@jrg:
Dude, are you serious? RightNetwork? Not a joke? Kee-rist on a cracker.
Kewalo
I had to come out of lurk mode just to let you know how happy your rant made me feel.
It is one of life’s little blessings, thank you.
Polar Bear Squares
Hell yeah.
I agree 100 percent.
Jamie
Wait! There are conservative intelleectuals? Why didn’t anyone tell me?
TuiMel
@Royston Vasey:
not to mention coherence
TuiMel
John Cole up on his hind legs. A thing of beauty.
Dr.BDH
the last 30 years
You’re off by at least 20 years. Go back and watch William Fucking Buckley on Firing Line lying his ass off about Europe, Vietnam, welfare, the death penalty, Negroes, the atomic bomb, Native Americans, unions, the Second Amendment, Catholicism, John Kennedy, Robert Kennedy, Teddy Kennedy, marijuana, the Beatles, public schools, the Ivy League, Kingman Brewster, William Sloan Coffin, Martin Luther King, George Wallace. You had to be there, gaping at the unending stream of mendacious shit that trickled from that deformed mouth. Then forward to Ronald “The Worst President Ever” Reagan lying about civil rights, Medicare, Vietnam, tax breaks, G fucking E, Jimmy Carter, oil dependence, the Middle East… Intellectual Conservatism in this country started lying with Joseph McCarthy and hasn’t paused to take a breath since.
asiangrrlMN
Swoon. Cole, you are so hot when you get your rant on. Righteous it was, indeed.
Batocchio
Home run!
Ripley
Raucous and lovely, a rant of beauty. Made my afternoon; thanks, Cole.
DougL
Evony – it’s all about the strategically placed cleavage, m’Lord.
J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford
@Keith G:
I was thinking the same thing.
master c
Anybody seen this bumper sticker?
One Big Ass Mistake America
thats my favorite here in Big D
Liberal AND Proud
The sight of conservatives supping on themselves is truly gratifying.
Da Bomb
Epic rant John. Keep preaching!
catclub
@mclaren: #47
I think the problem is that the shelf life of the newer lies is dropping rapidly based on us learning the truth on all the old lies. Nixon’s bullshit on peace with honor lasted for at least 5 years, while Cheney’s ‘we will be greeted as liberators’
lasted about 6 months. Reagan saying the contras were freedom fighters lived longer as a lie than Bush trying to convince us that Al Qaeda and Saddam Hussein were indivisible.
NOW, you might say that they were always lies, but that is with hindsight.
The screaming that the world will end due to: Social Security, Medicare, The healthcare bill, have progressively shorter lifetimes.
By contrast, many things that the right are convinced are left wing lies just keep sticking around. Concern about the environment is the one that comes to mind. Jimmy Carter was crazy thinking we needed ‘ the moral equivalent of war’ for energy independence, and 35 years later, it is still important.
Al Gore is a) crazy or b) just out to make money,
over global warming. But he has been on the same kick for YEARS and the problem has not suddenly been refuted, or shown to be a total fraud.
Cure 7802
Righteous fucking rant. Keep preaching Brother Cole…
Kevin Moore
Ditto.
Bill Kristol’s shit-eating grin has always been a tell.
Steeplejack
Awesome post, Cole. I had not considered the likelihood that the right’s disinformation campaign would come back to haunt them someday. I hope that day is at hand.
Xenocrates
@mclaren: Google Stalin + “Big Lie” or just visit this Wikipedia page. All your answers is belong to us!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Propaganda
jerry
This used to be David Frum territory when every 4 years or so
he would inquire about “the conservative soul” or some such
nonsense. I think he just found out when he got fired from AEI.
I hear from Sullivan that conservative guy Jim Manzi trashed
a book by the soul of quiet conservatism, Michael Levin, who
in turn called Manzi a lackey of Al Gore and bla bla bla.
I wondered who Dick Cheney took his orders from?
Is he a buddy of David Coke, I mean, Koch? Both being
oil men and all.