Our ‘cracked tiles’ turned out to be a collapsing chimney, which is extra awesome because it makes the job twice as expensive and it gives our home insurance and our home warranty a reason to weasel out of paying. At least the roofers’ repairs survived this weekend’s biblical rainstorm. Now we can finally think about whether to fix the caved-in guest bedroom ceiling, or (my preference at the moment) just brick over the room and tell guests that it’s haunted. Our water authority has a line insurance plan that will cover major subsidence problems caused by a broken sewer line out front (awesome!), except for replacing our broken concrete stairs, which are expensive and apparently not covered (less awesome).
One the plus side, if our sprouting herb garden continues to grow at its present rate then in two or three years it will cover the surface of the Earth. Bwahaha.
Ash Can
And I suppose, on top of everything, it’s too early in the day where you are to start drinking.
wvng
You shoulda bought a house boat.
Face
Caved in guest bedroom ceiling, eh? I hope all your friends are midgets (is that the current PC term?)
Also, broken sewer line? Yikes. From the smell, to the sight, to the effect (no flushing for days!), you’re in for a world of hurt.
Go halvsies on a Port-O-John with your neighbor.
Brian J
@Ash Can:
Unless you start acting like a fool, it’s never too early to start drinking. It just might not be appropriate to drink everything. I wouldn’t have a mojito now, but I would have a mimossa or a bloody mary.
Punchy
This is all very, very good news for John McCain.
Comrade Darkness
Wait, so if your chimney falls on the house it’s not covered by insurance? Dang, that’s been my hoped for backup plan for a while now on my own house.
Ash Can
@Brian J: Sure, but a caved-in bedroom ceiling and a busted sewer line in front of the house call for at least a double martini as far as I’m concerned. For starters.
Persia
My condolences, Tim. Home ownership is not always fun, and pretty much always potentially expensive.
In Open Thread news: Salon is ‘down for maintenance’ on a Monday morning. I can see no way this will end well.
4tehlulz
This kind of thing only reinforces my determination to rent 4eva.
Brian J
@Ash Can:
You’re probably right. Rules were meant to be broken, after all.
As for Tim F., I can’t specifically relate, since I don’t own a home, but from what I’ve seen of family members, it can be a nightmare. As a middle of life birthday present to herself, my mom remodeled our house when I was just starting high school. It’s still not completely done. Part of that is certainly her fault, but other problems have made it even worse.
dr. bloor
Condolences. On the other hand, I welcome our new Basil and Rosemary overlords.
The Moar You Know
Jesus. Burn it down and just walk away. You’re looking at tens of thousands of dollars to fix, and unless you live in a high-dollar neighborhood – one where fixing the house would make economic sense – it sounds like this might just be worth the risk of getting nailed for arson and insurance fraud*.
* I am not a lawyer and have a long track record of making really stupid decisions.
Kirk Spencer
I have, over the years, become less and less impressed with insurance. I understand the desire to quash fraud. I get the fact that at least some limits must exist.
But every time I have something major happen I hear, “Oh, that’s not in YOUR coverage.”
cleek
that sucks.
we’ve got some problem with our bathtub where sewer gas comes up through the drain (we think that’s where it’s coming from, anyway). so, we hired a plumber to come out and fix it. he replaced the trap in the drain – which took five holes in the ceiling in our kitchen (only way he could get to the pipes). that didn’t work. then he got on the roof and blew out the vent pipes. that didn’t work.
since there’s no smell coming out of the shower drain, which is like two feet away from the bathtub drain, he’s out of ideas. but we’ve still got five (big) holes in our kitchen ceiling, and the bathroom still stinks.
this is going to lead to a lot of suck.
The Raven
Just a quick comment: I cancelled my home warranty after two years. They weaseled out of every problem I called in.
The kicker was the refrigerator – they wouldn’t repair the ice maker. “We only insure the refrigerator,” they told me, “not the ice-maker.” Then there was the matter of the leaking of the leaking skylight: “We only insure the roof, not the skylights.”
I regard the home warranty business to be a total scam. Save the money on premiums and bank it away to just pay for the repairs yourself – because you’ll have to, anyway.
jwb
@cleek: What a great country! No one can find a decent plumber but you can easily find someone to sell you toxic financial assets. Win-win all the way around.
Brian J
@cleek:
Hearing stuff like that makes me determined to either (a) move into an apartment–maybe one like this, although right now I am roughly $28 million short–or (b) build one fresh and just make sure everything is done right. I understand the process of wear and tear, but man oh man, I don’t know if I could stand the constant fixing.
But who am I kidding? The building where I work now was built in the last three years, and it’s nothing special, but on one side, it still leaks if the rain is too heavy. Apparently, the contractors decided to just stop putting in some of the required materials and patch it up. It was fixed, sort of, but then it still seems to leak every now and then.
Punchy
The wife’s house (see that nice trick? see what I just did there?) came with a 1 or 2 year warrantee on pretty much everything, and a 10-year on major shit like the foundation, roof, etc. We’re pretty damn impressed.
All that means, of course, is in year 11, the roof collapses and the foundation cracks into 3 pieces.
jwb
@The Raven: The thing you have to realize about insurance and extended warranties is that they are supposed to be losing propositions from the customer’s side. That’s how the companies make money on them. Therefore, if the premium is good, either the coverage sucks or you are insuring against a very unlikely event.
Brian J
@Punchy:
I see what you did, and it makes sense. It’s not your house. It’s the wife’s and always will be. You just live there and, you know, tend to it every so often.
mistermix
I take it you have mint in your herb garden. I spent a little time ripping out about half of mine. That stuff is pernicious.
Citizen_X
@The Moar You Know:
I have a new motto! May the gods bless you.
DanF
Tim F. – Sounds like my first house. It was a hundred year old farm house (now in the city) that my wife and I spent about ten years fixing up. I learned a lot and had an excuse to buy whatever tool I needed, but on the balance, I wish I had a few of those weekends back. Collapsed plaster walls, drop ceilings hiding all kinds of crazy, curved floors, drooping porch, collapsing chimney, wet basement with bowed walls, wood flooring with indoor/outdoor carpet glued to it, split clapboard, odd shaped doors, aluminum wiring, etc… My wife loved that house. On the other hand, I have a recurring nightmare that we buy the house again.
Montysano
We live in a 60 year old house, and very much like my dad, I have a hard time paying someone to do something that I can muddle through on my own.
Luckily I’m fairly handyI’m cursed with being handy, so most every weekend involves a has-to-be-done-now project.But a collapsing chimney is definitely outside of my skill set…
Svensker
Major sympathies. We’ve got something weird happening with the plumbing, a rock kicked up from the lawn mower and broke the kitchen window, the front end on the car seems to be giving out and my husband just found out that an 8-year-old root canal was done improperly and he’ll have to have dental surgery and new crown. None of these things was in the budget, let alone all of them. Ho hum.
Montysano
@DanF:
This.
Brian J
@Montysano:
Did you ever end up finishing any projects?
SGEW
Houses? Bah!
Renters, unite! We have nothing to lose but our herb gardens!
MikeJ
Weigel is funny:
DanF
@Montysano: Yeah – I did end up with an enviable collection of tools. Sadly, some of them are destined to sit idle and mock me as a reminder of my pain.
Brian J
@MikeJ:
Normally, I’d say the lack of attention to policy could help her. If she’s not married to any one idea, it can be fairly easy for her to appeal to many different groups, even if she shifts in a rather obvious and blatant way. I believe that’s how Mitt Romney remains as the front runner. But the difference between someone like Romney and someone like Palin is competence. Say what you want about Romney, but I don’t think he’s dumb. All of the various groups that want his ear about this or that know this and have confidence that there’s a chance they could see their preferred policies enacted. They almost certainly feel the opposite about Palin.
BenA
I have a huge list of things to fix and do to my house… it gets longer every year.
Your herb garden comment reminds me of the original Creepshow where Stephen King becomes a plant.
On a semi-related note. I just bought a new lawn mower.. I got an old fashion reel mower, which is actually easier to use than my old gas mower, plus it’s all green and stuff. It’s a joy to use now… but boy are my kids gonna hate me in a few years when they’re old enough to mow the lawn and the thing is old and rusty-ish.
2th&nayle
Ahh, broken sewer line…bumper crop of herbs? You might want to take a little extra care when washing those herbs.
Morbo
As someone moving into a house this week, I wish you would stop posting these…
Cain
I’m not particularly handy. It comes down to the fact that I can’t do anything in a straight line or be able to measure. Amazingly, I have a hard time with a lot of things. We’ve done a couple of remodel type stuff, but I won’t do big things because I know I’ll just screw it up. Our current project is to build a planter box.. we bought a skil saw. Wish us luck.
Tim F: I feel for you, I’ve never had that kind of problem, and I’m glad for that. The worst thing that happened to us was that the water line from the street into the house broke and I had to get it replaced. That sucked.
cain
jibeaux
I see that someone beat me to the “mint” comment. The trick is to grow it in pots only. It is the kudzu of the herbs.
Have you thought about taking the home warranty company to small claims court (if it meets the jurisdictional limits and seems like a good case that it should be covered)? Some friends of mine successfully got a new furnace that absolutely should have been covered that way, and the magistrate mocked the home warranty company’s attorney for his idiotic arguments.
Martin
Dude, this atheist will be praying for you. I can do most home repair items but big structural issues would have me weeping.
I like the haunted room idea, though. My wife wants to remodel the final bathroom (I’m still gutting out the last details of the last bathroom remodel) and ‘haunted’ is a theme she might get behind.
As for the herb garden, my 12 year old son is trying to raise money to replace his computer and is an avid gardener. Wife and I agreed that if the November pot voter initiative goes through, he’ll have a new crop to grow and we’ve already got a list of buyers lined up for him. Ah, parenting…
Jackie
I discovered after a storm that my homeowners policy would pay to remove the 1/3 of the tree that fell and all the damage it caused. The remaining 2/3 was manifestly unsafe but they don’t pay to remove it before it falls. I asked if they would pay for it and the damage it did when it inevitably fell, even if I knew it was unsafe ,and they said sure. Now after it fell and killed a few people I’m sure they would have tried to avoid paying but I did have the agent on tape telling me they would still cover and yes he agreed it was a bit penny wise and pound foolish.
Since one of the people in danger was me, and I am not a sociopath, I paid the 3 grand to remove it. Which I bet they count on.
thomas Levenson
All I can say that as the proud purchaser (last June) of a house that had endured the better part of three decades of zero maintenance at the hands of its prior owner, I feel your pain.
We are simply hoping that the rotting cast iron plumbing in both upstairs bathrooms hold until we can accumulate enough green stamps for the repair.
Hang in there. I recommend Baker’s, applied internally, repeated as necessary.
Martin
@BenA: I’ve used a reel push mower for 8 years now. It’s great, not hard at all, and still works like new. You’ll notice when the blades get dull, however, so keep it well serviced. Hose off any clippings that get stuck to it, the water will evaporate quickly but the clippings hold moisture against the metal causing it to rust faster.
Montysano
@Brian J:
Yes….. with qualifications. For example: I put bamboo flooring in our kitchen/dining room, installed all new window and door trim, painted, and put in crown molding. But I’ve yet to go back and fill the nail holes and truly finish the thing. Drives the wife crazy, but when the hot water heater quits working or the car needs work, the fine details take a back seat.
David in NY
@The Raven:
Um, nobody will ever insure an ice-maker.
Montysano
@Martin:
After going through 2 or 3 reel mowers, I realized that they are a grass cutting device. What lives in our yard is not at all limited to grass, so the reel mower just wouldn’t cut it.
I use a corded electric mower, and I love it.
PTirebiter
Jibeaux’s suggestion is sound. An attorney/friend once told me that Judges hate car dealers and insurance companies as much as the rest of us do. Other than your time, there’s very little downside. I’ve filed two claims and won both. Unfortunately, I was only able to collect on one of them, but the personal satisfaction I felt made it well worth it.
Brian J
@Montysano:
Oh, absolutely. I’m not particularly handy, except when it comes to pools, but I am not a complete idiot, either. I just don’t decide to undertake a lot of projects, in large part because I don’t want to devote the time to learning how to do it right, but also because I am just lazy like that, so I know how low the chances of me finishing it are. I only wish my old brothers felt the same way.
Last year, one had a bunch of mulch and dirt delivered to my mother’s house. He half assed actually putting the crap out, which was annoying enough, but the dirt itself was dumped on the side street instead of in the backyard because they didn’t want to have to take down one of the fence poles (which, by the way, will be taken down this year as she get’s a new fence). I get that, but the dirt sat there for weeks on end. Who’s the asshole who had to shovel it, by hand, into a wheel barrow and then dump it in the backyard before patching up the fence? (We’re talking at least 1000 pounds, if not more, or so my rough estimate says.) Me, that’s who, even though I insisted I wouldn’t. What’s worse, this brother didn’t even bother to use it to level out the yard. It’s still sitting in a pile, although slightly eroded.
I just asked my mother to remember this before I end up having to execute the grand plans of one of my brothers this year.
BenA
@Montysano:
I might have the same issue you do… but I’ll give it a try. My yard aspires to have grass. I have also noticed, living in a fairly wooded area, that sticks aren’t quite as fun with the reel mower.
My yard is a bit to big for a corded mower to work effectively. I’m thinking if the reel mower experiment fails miserably I’m either going to go with a cordless mower with a spare battery or two… or just pay someone to do it. :-)
BenA
@Martin:
Good advice… hadn’t even thought about it that much.
Allan
It appears we won’t be hearing from BoB anytime soon…
Martin
@Montysano: Depends on the mower, too. My first kinda sucked. My second is awesome. Brill makes the best push mowers, IMO.
Shinobi
Hey Guys, Don’t forget to run out today and pick up your ObamaPad
It is perfect for watching crappy attempts at satire from the right.
Bad Horse's Filly
Well, I know the money-pit is not a major source of joy for you, but for me, that made my bleak Monday morning so much nicer. I’m, ummm, sorry, yeah, that’s it, for your troubles, but keep sharing, okay?
Cain
@jibeaux:
I have mint growing and it’s fine. What’s a real pain is lemon balm. Holy crap, I can’t seem to get rid of the damn thing. I should just collect them and the mint and make tea with it.
cain
Montysano
@BenA:
Exactly. A spare battery or two… or four. My in-laws have a cordless, and IMHO it’s 3 times the hassle of dealing with a cord.
BenA
@Montysano:
The issue I have with a cord… is that the chance of me running over the cord with the mower is nearly 100%. Especially with the distance I have to go from the plug.
Montysano
@BenA:
I put out a 150′ extension, then start mowing closest to the power source and working outward. Running over the cord has never been an issue.
trollhattan
@TimF.
My condolences. Old homes are an endless source of…adventure, seasoned with doses of horror and the very occasional burst of pride (suburban sprawlers lauding your home’s “character”).
Of many, many stories I’ll cite extracting handfuls of soggy redwood from our bathroom floor and wall systems a month after completing a six-figure home addition-remodel project. A discovery that lead to a five-figure bathroom remodel.
Yay for us.
I have friends who refuse to buy “used” homes, instead always insisting on newly built. And what could possibly go wrong with that?
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/news/nation/stories/DN-perry_21tex.ART.North.Edition1.2997a4d.html
Here’s hoping things start improving for you.
JSD
Tim,
Didn’t you just buy the home? If the broken chimney was known by the previous owners and not disclosed, you can sue them for the cost of reconstruction.
ruemara
Sitting here on top of my own money pit, that we’re a few months away from losing-fuck you gwb-I sympathize. Supposedly, it get’s better.
asiangrrlMN
@Brian J: Fascinating. Why can you drink one at a certain time, but not the other?
@ruemara: So sorry to hear that. Sending you vibes that it gets better.
birthmarker
Tim F.-I missed the beginning of the house drama. Can you create tags for your entries so we can read and catch up? (I love all things house related-good, bad, ugly.)
frosty
@Montysano:
frosty
@frosty:
Pretend this was in the blockquote above:
“But I’ve yet to go back and fill the nail holes and truly finish the thing.”
I’ll figure this out yet.