So my gutters need to be cleaned, because they are horribly clogged to the point that when it rains, it pours over the side and has started to dig a little hole in the ground from the waterfall that has been created. In addition to that, I am worried the constant water will damage the wood. So, little homemaker that I am, I decided to clean the gutters.
The front was no problem- just climbed up on the ladder, scooped it our, and then hosed everything down with a hose I carried up. The backside, though, is much higher, and the ladder would not reach and it was too high to climb without anyone holding it. I then got the brilliant idea to go to the shortest side of the house, use the ladder to climb onto the roof, and clean the tall side of the house while standing on the roof.
Oh, yeah. I’m terrified of heights. Unbelievably afraid of heights. I made it about ten minutes into the movie Cliffhanger before I had to stop because my feet were sweating. So we basically had a battle between my desire to clean the gutters and my fear of heights. Cleanliness won.
So after spending a half hour on my stomache on the roof scooping leaves, soot, bird shit, and who knows what else, the entire time breathing in and out with the mantra “control your fears, control your fears, control your fears,” I was finally done and it was time to climb down.
As I was adjusting the ladder, one of the latches came loose and then the entire ladder fell to the ground. I then spent the next half hour, stranded on my roof, waiting for someone to walk by. Finally, Mrs. Mitchell walked by and was able to get my phone out of my car and throw it to me so I could call my mom to send dad up to get the god damned ladder. Her response was to break out into hysterics.
I swear my entire life is like a 40 year Darwin awards ceremony. I’m paying someone next time.