Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

Petty moves from a petty man.

They punch you in the face and then start crying because their fist hurts.

If you voted for Trump, you don’t get to speak about ethics, morals, or rule of law.

Republicans: The threats are dire, but my tickets are non-refundable!

You passed on an opportunity to be offended? What are you even doing here?

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

GOP baffled that ‘we don’t care if you die’ is not a winning slogan.

When you’re in more danger from the IDF than from Russian shelling, that’s really bad.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

The fundamental promise of conservatism all over the world is a return to an idealized past that never existed.

I did not have this on my fuck 2025 bingo card.

Donald Trump found guilty as fuck – May 30, 2024!

You’re just a puppy masquerading as an old coot.

Fear or fury? The choice is ours.

Tide comes in. Tide goes out. You can’t explain that.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

Republicans: “Abortion is murder but you can take a bus to get one.” Easy peasy.

I’m more christian than these people and i’m an atheist.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

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Reader Interactions

33Comments

  1. 1.

    General Egali Tarian Stuck

    fuckhead can DIAF

    Charlie will hike a leg

    and piss on his grave

  2. 2.

    Linda Featheringill

    Good morning happy people. How is the world today? The Gulf is going to hell, the news media is populated with idiots, politicians are [still] strange, and we are all a day older.

    But aside from all that, does anyone have an encouraging word? No? Darn.

  6. 6.

    SiubhanDuinne

    I hope JSF has a perfectly beautiful day, a cake with pink icing and sprinkles, friends gathered to serenade him and shower him with gifts, bluebirds bringing him every happiness, and all the wishes of his heart fulfilled.

    Well, either that or what General Stuck said.

  9. 9.

    ChockFullO'Nuts

    Fuckhead is my favorite poster, after me and LD after LD, and then me. :-0

    Happy birthday Fuckhead.

  11. 11.

    Genine

    Happy Birthday, JSF! I wish you as much joy as you’re capable of having… if not more.

  12. 12.

    geg6

    Happy birthday, Fuckhead.

    I appreciate you even if no one else does.

    Well, okay. Laura W. and Cole do, too.

    But fuck them. ;-)

  13. 13.

    El Cid

    Remember in Arizona, it’s all about securing the border.

    A bill that aims to ban ethnic studies in Arizona schools was signed into law Tuesday by Gov. Jan Brewer, cheering critics who called such classes divisive and alarming others who said it’s yet another law targeting Latinos in the state.
    __
    The move comes less than 20 days after Brewer signed a controversial immigration bill that has caused widespread protests against the state. The governor’s press office did not return requests for comment Tuesday evening.
    __
    HB 2281 bans schools from teaching classes that are designed for students of a particular ethnic group, promote resentment or advocate ethnic solidarity over treating pupils as individuals. The bill also bans classes that promote the overthrow of the U.S. government.
    __
    The bill was written to target the Chicano, or Mexican American, studies program in the Tucson school system, said state Supt. of Public Instruction Tom Horne.
    __
    School districts that don’t comply with the new law could have as much as 10% of their state funds withheld each month. Districts have the right to appeal the mandate, which goes into effect Dec. 31.

    So, presumably, this also outlaws any class by and for TeaTards and elected Republicans, who continually argue for the overthrow of the U.S. government.

  14. 14.

    Rosalita

    JSF: Happy Fucking Birthday to you…! You’re a crack up when you are not being a wanker. ;)

    @ Linda Featheringill: I’ve got nothing; it’s raining and gloomy here

  17. 17.

    El Cid

    Also, H/T to The Poor Man Institute for noting, once again, that Camille Paglia is dumber than a bag of dog shit.

    This whole thing about global warming – I am absolutely incredulous at the gullibility of people. What is this hysteria over drowning polar bears? And finally I realized, people don’t know polar bears can swim! For me, the answer is always more facts, more basic information, presented without sentimentality and without drama. To inflict this kind of anxiety on young people is an outrage.

    “People don’t know polar bears can swim!”

    And flying fish can fly, for a while, but they don’t live in forests.

  18. 18.

    Mike in NC

    I realized, people don’t know polar bears can swim!

    So all the bears need to do is grow a pair of gills?

    Never forget that Paglia is a hardcore Palinite. Also, too.

  22. 22.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Thanks everyone.

    Every year my birthday thread gets a little shorter. :)

  24. 24.

    Mumphrey

    Happy birthday. Your name is the best user name on BJ.

    Now I have to get back to cleaning the house. My brother and sister in law and their 2 year old daughter are coming tomorrow.

  25. 25.

    Citizen_X

    Happy birthday, Fuckhead!
    (Now there’s a phrase I would like to use more often, but I fear some might take it the wrong way.)

    @El Cid: I suppose Paglia can swim, too, so she wouldn’t mind if we tossed her out in the middle of the Gulf, right? “Have a good swim, Camille; see you at the du Monde! We’ll save some beignets for you!”

  26. 26.

    Waynski

    Happy Birthday JSF. And fuck Camille Paglia. I bet there’s an exhausted polar bear out there that might want to giver a go.

  27. 27.

    Cain

    My birthday was yesterday! Didn’t have time to even come and read balloon-juice yesterday. Damn busy at work…

    cain

  28. 28.

    Annie

    @Cain:

    Happy belated Birthday……..Hope you were able to do more than just work…..

    JSF — Happy Birthday.

  30. 30.

    EIGRP

    A month or two ago, someone had a good rant about the republicans/tea baggers and how they didn’t say shit when Bush was president and the republicans were in power. They listed off many different things that they now complain about and blame democrats or the president because he’s black.

    Anyone remember that? Can someone point me to the post?

    Thanks!

    Eric

  31. 31.

    Bad Horse's Filly

    Happy, happy birthday JSF. Our paths do not cross as much as I wish they did. But I’m always glad to see when I’ve arrived in a thread you inhabit. xoxo

  33. 33.

    Carrie

    Happy Birthday Fuckhead, my favourite character on this sit-com we call Balloon Juice.

Comments are closed.