Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

If you’re gonna whine, it’s time to resign!

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Many life forms that would benefit from greater intelligence, sadly, do not have it.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

I would try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

To the privileged, equality seems like oppression.

“The defense has a certain level of trust in defendant that the government does not.”

If ‘weird’ was the finish line, they ran through the tape and kept running.

“Alexa, change the president.”

Tick tock motherfuckers!

Wake up. Grow up. Get in the fight.

There are times when telling just part of the truth is effectively a lie.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

Petty moves from a petty man.

Just because you believe it, that does not make it true.

There is no compromise when it comes to body autonomy. You either have it or you do not.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

the 10% who apparently lack object permanence

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

These are not very smart people, and things got out of hand.

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Reader Interactions

145Comments

  5. 5.

    eemom

    I wuvs that doggie. I would totally steal her from you if I could, and then I would have three cutest doggies in the world.

  7. 7.

    That Other Mike

    @ JC: Have you considered getting a moka pot or something? I find that it helps feed my caffeine addiction quite nicely, especially if used with espresso grounds.

  8. 8.

    Randy P

    WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON THE SOFA?

    Sorry, that just triggered a reflex. I hear that in my wife’s voice when I see a dog on a sofa. It would be guaranteed to get our old black lab scrambling in panic to get off the sofa and pretending she wasn’t breaking the rules.

    Not to restart that pet-discipline thread from a week or so ago.

    Yes, your dog is cute, but I still wouldn’t let her on the sofa. I’d probably pick her up, sit down with my coffee, and plop her on my lap. Did that with the lab more than once.

  9. 9.

    Poopyman

    OK John. Whatever.

    Can we go back to talking about Sanford’s hottie nao?

    (I’ve got 5 cats that would argue your point, so I won’t say nothin’)

  11. 11.

    beltane

    The situation in Europe is becoming more distressing by the day. Angela Merkel is proposing the largest cuts to social programs since WWII in response to the Euro crisis and the Germans are starting to blame the Greeks.

    Most of western Europe was pretty damn prosperous before the introduction of the Euro. Why are they all so eager to sacrifice their economies for the sake of this currency?

  12. 12.

    Raenelle

    We think we’ve rescued them; in fact, they’ve liberated us from huge chunks of our small, hard mean focus on our trivial obsessions.

  13. 13.

    That Other Mike

    @beltane: Dunno. Must be something to do with trying to get along following centuries of catastrophic back and forth slaughtering of one another. And, you know, post hoc ergo propter hoc re the Euro.

  15. 15.

    beltane

    @Randy P: Our lab is a tyrant. She sits on the sofa with the kids whenever she pleases and when I kick her off she lays the guilt on thick. My husband calls her Drama Dog.

  16. 16.

    Persia

    She is cuuuute.

    I found instant Thai tea packets at the Asian market yesterday. This may be a problem.

  17. 17.

    Libby

    Aw. Great shot of Lily. She’s certainly come a long way from that quivering mass of anxiety that you brought home not that long ago. You’re a good daddy JC.

  18. 18.

    fucen tarmal

    kona=nice, must have been that funding from soros coming through, only two commas left of the decimal bloggers can afford that stuff…i myself limit it to the first real chill of october (my favorite time of the year) and the war on bill o’rielly’s war season with all the sparkelly lights…

    celebes and monsoon malabar here currently, but the caffeine is the important thing, amiright?

  21. 21.

    Zam

    The situation in Europe is becoming more distressing by the day. Angela Merkel is proposing the largest cuts to social programs since WWII in response to the Euro crisis and the Germans are starting to blame the Greeks.

    Somebody hasn’t been watching their Glenn Beck. Social Programs contain the world social which is contained within the word Soc!@list and we all know that Hitler was a National Soc!@list. Therefore Germany was obviously increasing social programs during WWII.

  22. 22.

    drunken hausfrau

    Not go OT… but since this is an open thread…

    Am I remembering correctly that someone hanging around this blog had sent old photos and slides to be converted and restored and were happy with the results? We are converting old slides to .jpeg (my mom turns 80 in August and we are trying to surprise her with nice photo books, etc.) — many of the old (1950s-60s-70s) slides have color problems. (and polaroids, too — don’t get me started on the faded and disappearing shots!).

    Any recommendations? (I don’t mind paying someone to do it and do it right.)

  25. 25.

    kindness

    Is she still pissed that you scolded her for ‘protecting’ the manor? Dogs understand more than most people think. They just usually attach dog codes to conduct, ie- implied threat(other dog) vs reaction of guard dog stance.

    The thing that’s always taken me the most time is trying to get my critters to understand the appropriate reaction. they don’t like being told to hold back, but in my house, I’m the big dog so they really have to humor me. It takes time, but it’s worth it in the long run to have a properly socialized dog that knows what is OK & what isn’t. Still….they never like the learning part. It shoots their egos all to hell when they think they are doing the right thing. Telling them it’s OK to be wary but you can’t attack….that’s the tough part for dogs to understand. I mean, they’re dogs. They’re used to pack & dog rules, not ours. But they are trainable. Time.

  26. 26.

    Randy P

    @fucen tarmal: One of my all time best coffee-related investments: a Bialetti. It’s not exactly espresso, but it’s what Italians use on the stove top to make coffee at home. “Bialetti” has actually become a generic name for this type of coffee pot, but they’re also still the most popular manufacturer. You see them in more and more stores, for about $20.

    Nothing like a cup of homemade espresso (more or less) in the morning. And unlike in the coffee bars, I can pour myself a large cup. Plus if you put sweetened condensed milk in the bottom, you have Vietnamese coffee, another of life’s great coffee luxuries.

  28. 28.

    kindness

    On the other subject. Kona is nice but a bit more mild than my tastes usually. Thank god for Peets.

  30. 30.

    That Other Mike

    @Randy P: My latest interesting culinary discovery is adding a tiny pinch of salt when brewing coffee. It really cuts any bitterness right down and doesn’t affect the flavour. Can’t remember whereabouts I read it, though.

  31. 31.

    jibeaux

    Well, it’s open thread and kid-ish, so I’m just going to throw this out there.
    A while back we, even me, kicked in a little bit for Svensker’s friend, she of the lovely quilts and may she rest in peace. And awesomely, you guys donated to a teacher friend of mine trying to raise the money for his technology students to go to a national competition after the state yanked the funding. He was truly awestruck at complete strangers donating money to his cause.
    All this is because DFHs is good people. Truly, deeply, good people.
    So even though I’m probably over my quota already, I’ll tell you about another teacher, this one is at my son’s school. The reaction she and her husband had to the earthquake in Haiti was that they wanted to adopt an orphan, but that quickly proved to be shown impossible because of the various abuses that shut down Haitian adoption. They soon learned, however, about truly awful conditions for special needs orphans, and are now raising money for the travel and fees needed to adopt a little girl from E. Europe with Down’s syndrome. If you want to read their story and maybe paypal them $2 or $5 or whatever bucks, they’d be thrilled. Her name is Milana, and she’s a right cutie.
    Sorry to go serious. I would be happy to hear your other good causes pitches, by the way. I really find that giving even just the little bits I can to various people or groups that need it cheers me up. And heaven knows after listening to Haley Barbour I need cheering up and to feel like there is still good in the world.

  32. 32.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    @geg6: Definitely birfers. They strongly believe that he attended Columbia on a foreign student aid scholarship. Might also be baggers though cause they do tend to cross pollinate a great deal.

  37. 37.

    Poopyman

    @That Other Mike:
    Salt in coffee is an old, old trick. I’m probably not remembering correctly, but I think it was in a 1950’s print of Joy of Cooking that my mother used, believe it or not.

  38. 38.

    slag

    Nobody puts Lily off the sofa.

    Also: Damn, you all have some cute dogs. (coming from someone who’s usually not a big dog person)

  41. 41.

    Joey Maloney

    Drinking a 100% Kona brew – if that’s what you’re talking about, and not the 10% blends that are generally sold as Kona – is a waste of money.

    To my palette, it’s worse than a waste because the flavor of Kona by itself is not very complex. I suggest experimenting to find a mix that you like. Currently I use a dark roast of Kenyan mixed with a Kona Joe medium roast in about 4:1.

    You might also want to check out the new Ka’u strains that are starting to get wider distribution. (map of Ka’u in relation to Kona districts on the Big Island)

  42. 42.

    jibeaux

    Also, too, I voted for Bitsy, like, a hundred times. I will do what you ask me to is what I’m sayin’. Sometimes.

  45. 45.

    Poopyman

    @Maude:
    Wellllllll, then I probably am not remembering correctly, but the idea was around in my extended family for about that long.

  46. 46.

    Dan Robinson

    This is the kind of stuff that makes me think liberal bloggers suck. People who willing put ‘cutest kid’ and ‘cutest pet’ together and think they are equivalent don’t have a clue about what being a parent is all about.

    Parents know.

  52. 52.

    bemused

    I am slowly learning to get the right grind & amount of water with my french press. I just made a batch & it turned out awesome. It has a kick like a mule, just the way I like it, so I will be buzzing any minute now. It’s a stainless steel french press so the coffee stays hot a good long while.
    On a recent trip to Mpls to visit a couple of our kids, we went to a funky coffee shop in Linden Hills, Coffee & Tea, Ltd. It is definitely not a fancy place. It’s tiny, crowded & messy with sacks of green beans against one wall while an older gent is roasting beans just inside the window facing the street with the coffee brewing in the back. The kids decided to order a couple of cups of Kopi Luwak to taste. You coffee maniacs probably know that’s the bean that is pooped out by the palm civet & then roasted. An 8oz cup was $10, $420 per #. It tasted better than I imagined but nothing spectacular.

  56. 56.

    jibeaux

    @Dan Robinson:

    Dude, settle down. There’s absolutely nothing here to take offense at, which I say as the parent of two kids who are absolutely, positively, definitely the cutest. When my son was about three and I was holding him in an elevator, the door opened and the lady waiting for the elevator saw him, literally gasped and said, “Oh my goodness, he’s so gorgeous.”
    So John can talk about Lily all he wants, it’s all good.
    (If he claims anyone is going to gasp beholding the beauty of Tunch, though, it might be intervention time.)

  59. 59.

    comrade scott's agenda of rage

    @Dan Robinson:

    Is this real or are you trolling?

    I live here in (un)Real ‘Murka and I’m surrounded by parents who don’t have a fucking clue and should have been well-versed in various methods of birth control before they decided to breed.

    Is that para a broad brush stereotype of the rurl poor? Yup. No different than your broad brush stereotype of a guy with a blog who’s posting pictures of his dog.

    Fuck, lighten up Francis.

  63. 63.

    Seanly

    ahh, dog picture to bring me out of my dreams of hastening the combo of feudal past and Fallout 3 future the Republicans are racing us toward.

    I think I’m down about the lose of my sweet dog, Ginnie, and my wife’s impending chemo. And my hatred of Republican leaders continues to grow.

  66. 66.

    slag

    @Dan Robinson: Yeah! Because everybody knows that the most important attribute of a kid is its cuteness.

    Your biggest concern over a competition revolving around “cuteness” is that it puts kids and pets in the same category? Sounds like you’re the one who doesn’t take parenting seriously enough.

  67. 67.

    fiona

    She is very cute, my favourite part of Crufts dog show was the scruffs show at the end, I don’t think they do it now, but it used to be full of cute Heinz 57 varieties

  70. 70.

    MikeJ

    Anybody see the latest crime against humanity from Kagan? Edroso found righties with their panties in a bunch because Kagan put free tampons in the restrooms at Harvard. This is proof that she doesn’t understand that nothing is free. Or that she’s squandering Harvard’s $30 billion endowment. Or something.

  72. 72.

    jibeaux

    @MikeJ:

    Srsly? If you put ’em in one of those dime or quarter machines, people break the damn machines. I think they ought to be like the “take a penny, leave a penny” cups, personally, and in every ladies’ room.

  74. 74.

    fucen tarmal

    @Randy P:

    something to consider, and i appreciate the tip. do you use espresso grind?

    i have been using the french press a good bit, and when i am lazy the grind and drip all in one coffee version of mr. potatohead.

  75. 75.

    jibeaux

    @comrade scott’s agenda of rage:

    It’s very cute, but reminds me somehow of my husband’s expression, “Free as in kitten, not free as in beer.”
    I need a free beer. Maybe Tim F. will host a thread later with great pictures of growlers.

  76. 76.

    PurpleGirl

    @Seanly: Sorry to hear of not-so-future problems…. but if the pet pictures here help you to relax and find some calm, well, then just keep coming back ’cause you know pet pics are a regular feature. (And they really are so nice a feature.)

  80. 80.

    Poopyman

    You have people have forced me to point to a couple of pics of Spanky that FourLegsGood had kindly posted back in 2007. They’re the only kitty p@rn I have on the internets.
    At play
    And The crash afterward

    H/T FLG

  83. 83.

    Randy P

    @fucen tarmal: When I have it in the house. You can get Lavazza in grocery stores around here for not much more than regular coffee brands. But ordinary drip-grind coffee does very nicely, especially if you go for a darker roast.

    The other great thing about the Bialetti is that it’s actually easier to use than a drip coffee pot. You put water in the bottom up to the line. You fill the little reservoir with grounds. No need to measure. You put it on the stove. And you turn it off when it is done bubbling (that’s the only tricky part, that you do have to keep an ear on it and not let it burn).

  84. 84.

    bemused

    @Dan Robinson:
    It’s amazing how many of the techniques (training) we used with our kids when they were under five years old work with our dogs too. We’re constantly amused by the similarities.
    If you suck at parenting kids, your dogs are going to be obnoxious too. I know some couples who really screwed up their kids & their poor pets were equally messed up. One couple both comes to mind, every pet they owned, dogs or cats were weirdly neurotic & didn’t act anything like normal dogs/cats. Sociopaths shouldn’t have kids or pets.

  88. 88.

    QuaintIrene

    I am slowly learning to get the right grind & amount of water with my french press. I just made a batch & it turned out awesome

    My sister just got back from a trip to Vietnam and she said they have the most amazing coffee she’s ever tasted.

  90. 90.

    dan robinson

    @66

    I have no idea what you are talking about.

    I have been at parties and in other social events in the past where parents were talking about their kids and the things they do when somebody would start talking about their pets as if they were somehow equivalent to children. That is pretty clueless.

  92. 92.

    General Egali Tarian Stuck

    @dan robinson: You seem quite clueness yourself. How you could take Cole’s comment in the threadpost and turn into a suggestion that he was proposing a contest between the cuteness of children and pets is beyond me. Unless you are simply an idiot, which is the leading contender at this point.

  93. 93.

    scav

    poor danny. I’ve seen people use their children at parties to dominate the conversation as though in producing them they’d done something clever that trumped everything anyone else in the room had ever done at any time. So what? Congrats. You have viable sperm.

  95. 95.

    bemused

    @QuaintIrene:
    Is it the beans they use that makes the coffee so amazing? If so, I’d like to try it.
    My favorite coffee is a blend of 2 dark beans from Alakef Coffee Roasters, Duluth Mn, organic Bonfire.

  96. 96.

    Randy P

    @QuaintIrene: I mentioned Vietnamese coffee in #26. For some reason the Vietnamese restaurant where I get it calls it “French coffee”. My guess is that the Vietnamese started with the French version of coffee in colonial days and then put their own spin on it. But I haven’t seen the drip gizmo they use to make it (a thing that sits on top of your cup and slowly drips hot water through grounds) anywhere else other than a Vietnamese restaurant.

  97. 97.

    cleek

    @dan robinson:
    yes, happens all the time. i do it, though i try not to. i cringe when other people do it, not because i have kids, but because i know people who do have kids hate that kids get compared to pets.

    but the reason it happens is that people with kids will tell stories about how little Conner and Britney were chasing each other around the house and one of them knocked over a vase and that woke up Daddy, who had a fit and then he was late and isn’t my life such a wacky mess!. and that kind of story is identical to the kinds of stories people can tell about their pets. so they do.

  102. 102.

    Annie

    @Dan Robinson:

    People who can’t enjoy “cutest kids” and “cutest pets” don’t have a clue about what parenting is all about…Sorry, but it is true.

  105. 105.

    slag

    What cleek said. If your kid’s not more than cute or silly or funny or even gentle, then really, it’s not more interesting than my cat. That you think it is means that you put your kid in the same category as my cat. Not the other way around.

    In other words, kids can be cute and pets can be cute. There’s really no need to make a distinction on those superficial grounds for the very reason that those grounds are superficial. If you don’t realize that those grounds are superficial or if you feel the need to make distinctions between things on superficial grounds, then I worry for your children.

  106. 106.

    bey

    @jeffreyw: Ok, ya got me. Tina cannot master the wistful, reproachful look. All her looks are Hey! What’s that you got? Is that for Moi?

    But just you wait until I find the cable to my phone…..

  108. 108.

    comrade scott's agenda of rage

    @General Egali Tarian Stuck:

    Unless you are simply an idiot,

    Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!

    You win! And for winning you get a copy of the Balloon Juice Home Game, a lifetime supply of Rice-O-Roni and the opportunity to ship Dan Robinson to a leper colony.

  114. 114.

    slag

    How is it that some of the happiest dogs I’ve ever seen have only three legs? It’s not like “That dog’s happy in spite of its three legs”. It’s like “That dog’s really happy, and oh! look at that, it has only three legs”. Is it that the lack of the fourth leg makes their step just a little bit springier and their tail just a little bit taller? Or is there something else to it? I’ve wondered about this for a while now.

  116. 116.

    Annie

    @jeffreyw:

    hee, hee, hee — i do love troll baiting…more than i love my children….

    OMG, OMG, I did it again…………………..

  117. 117.

    robertdsc

    Or that she’s squandering Harvard’s $30 billion endowment.

    I thought that was Larry Summers’s job.

    Cute Lily is cute.

  123. 123.

    trollhattan

    @geg6:

    I’m just guessing here, but any chance these people are Birthers/Teabaggers?

    They certainly seem to be of the correct demographic for Baggerville residence. I expect Rep. Steve King (R. Hogfarm) will leap to their defense.

    BTW, what the heck is an “eastern Iowa education contractor?” Is this an outfit being put out of bidnez by student loan reform?

  126. 126.

    Annie

    @geg6:

    First and foremost, they are idiots…………….Like the group of birthers trying to maintain that Obama has 17 social security numbers……….yep, it’s true………Count ‘imm…17

  128. 128.

    licensed to kill time

    My experience with the cute pets vs. cute kids thing: the talking about your pets all the time, pictures on the wall of your pets, even the letting them sleep on your bed with you all go out the window once you have kids.

    THEN it’s talking about your kids all the time, pictures of your kids on the walls, and letting kids sleep in your bed with you until the kids grow up and are out of the house.

    THEN it’s back to the talking about your pets all the time, etc etc.

    And yeah, some people are just boring as hell about their pets AND their kids. Luckily, I am never like that, because MY kids and pets are all adorable and smart and funny and above average; let me tell you about the time that Sally……

    hey wait, where ya goin’ ?

  129. 129.

    Elie

    @bemused:

    Yeah — my hubby and I loved the taste of French Press coffee but beware, not only do you get more caffeine buzz but also more cholesterol raising coffee chemicals. My hubby started spiking his cholesterol when we were using the Press and it moderated after he went off 6 months or so. Regular drip did not have the same effect….

    I DO love the flavor of French Press

  130. 130.

    Mnemosyne

    @SB Jules:

    Interestingly, the advice in that article is pretty close to what Victoria Stillwell (of “It’s Me or the Dog”) does, especially the turning the dog in another direction when it does the unwanted behavior.

  131. 131.

    trollhattan

    @jeffreyw:

    Thank you sir. Coming from you it’s a double compliment!

    I love the E-30. My first dslr was the E-510 and while it was a great entre to the category, I kept running into its limits–primarily related to speed and the squinty, inaccurate finder. The E-30 is in a whole new tier, only lacking truly reliable CAF to be everything I need.

    In addition to its speed, I’m surprised how much I use the level indicator and the flippy viewscreen. They’re great enhancements.

  132. 132.

    Jim, Once

    @trollhattan:

    I’m gonna say by ‘eastern Iowa’ they could be referring to the Iowa City/Cedar Rapids corridor, which is chock-a-block with ed companies – ACT headquarters, for example. They hire lots of temporary and part-time workers, which doesn’t make said worker looking for a full-time position any happier or more loyal.

  133. 133.

    brantl

    @Randy P: That’s where your dog learned to get on the sofa, she just thought that you’re a human pillow.

    And Cole: I don’t mind hearing about your kids (if you’ve had any) or your dog, but I draw the line at your whatever.

    Really cute dog, though.

  134. 134.

    metalgirl

    @Dan Robinson: Lighten up! It’s okay that they don’t know and the rest of us parents do. As a parent of older children, I’m far less concerned about their “cute” appearance and more touched when they do something really thoughtful for another person. But that’s just me.

  135. 135.

    metalgirl

    @comrade scott’s agenda of rage: Hard to top that with a critter of any kind! Thanks for sharing! I visited a friend with 4 cats a few weeks ago and the feral one (Tinsy) came up to rub my hand and ankles after only 24 hours in her house. I was dubbed “the cat whisperer” :) For me, the key is to talk to cats and dogs — they like it!

  138. 138.

    SiubhanDuinne

    I just have one question after reading every post in this thread, and clicking on every single cute link:

    Where the hell is arguingwithsignposts? I demand photos of Smudge! Moar Smudge! Nao!

  140. 140.

    Steeplejack

    Cole: Lily has filled out nicely since you got her. And her expression says happy dog.

  141. 141.

    Paul in NC

    Awww. She looks just like my Brandy, right before I scraped her off the road with a flat shovel after a run in with a tractor trailer.

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