An open thread. I seriously hope these new ads start to make some revenue, otherwise I am going to have to start prostituting myself on the street to pay for ALL THE DAMNED BIRD FEED I AM GOING THROUGH.
How do these greedy fatties even fly?
Reader Interactions
179Comments
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jacy
Just so you know, Cole, as of a few hours ago Chuck has been officially renewed for next season.
Sadly, Better Off Ted has been officially cancelled.
NobodySpecial
Actually, that’s a good idea. Fatten them up so they can’t fly, and dine on birds whenever you want.
Felonious Wench
Wait until winter. Those birds will eat twice as much.
Derelict Dog
You’ve created an Avian Welfare State, you communist!
freelancer
One more thread about Birdfeed, and I am going to formally request that you ban me.
BC
If you build it, they will come . . . but no one ever said they would be self-sufficient.
jacy
Watch out, soon you’ll have squirrels in tricorner hats complaining about free handouts to the birds.
Kevin Phillips Bong
Birds are about the least efficient eaters ever. Check the ground underneath your feeder, I bet there’s a mound of birdseed forming. There was always a snowdrift of food underneath my girlfriend’s parrot’s cage.
jeffreyw
Sesame shrimp for dinner today. There will be pictures. Until then, here’s a pic of Bea waiting for a hummer to show.
Punchy
Well, a number of airlines make them buy 2 seats.
Poopyman
Do you get paid by the number of hits and/or comments?
Because that would go a long way towards explaining the last post.
Brachiator
But Law and Order is defunct (though apparently there will be evil spawn called Law and Order: Los Angeles).
There ain’t no justice.
Countervail
Dude, there’s no reason to feed during the summer unless you want to for the visuals. The birds should have plenty of natural food resources as the weather is warmer. You may want to install a birdbath though to give them someplace to drink and wash. That would be a fun project.
Sheila
Considering we’ve taken most of the available land, the least we can do is feed some of our fellow planet inhabitants, including squirrels, rabbits and chipmunks.
Poopyman
@Kevin Phillips Bong:
Nope! That’s what God invented possums for.
And skunks too. Also.
Raccoons….
Did I mention ground hogs?
Bill Section 147
Hooray for Chuck.
Hooray for the birds. It is amazing how much they eat while you watch them. Just know they are eating that much when you aren’t looking and not just from the feeder. I think the estimate of bird food consumed by song birds even around well stocked feeders is that below 40% of their total intake comes from those feeders the rest is wild. My wife and I were talking about it the other day and she is much more of a birder than I so she could probably remember the exact number. Gawd if I could have a bit of that metabolism…
Bill E Pilgrim
Well I’ve never heard blog posts and open threads called “bird feed” before, but that wouldn’t be the first blogosphere lingo I’d been unhep to.
Wait, you’re talking about the blog, right?
Dork
In need of some Cole, hard cash, eh? John needs to find johns, eh? BJ in the morning, then B-J in the afternoon?
I’ll quit now. Bird seed is $20/bag at Home Despot. For frickin’ seeds.
jeffreyw
Sasha
“Eats like a bird” to indicate a light eater is one of the most inaccurate analogies out there.
There’s a reason birds brave death to pick up scraps — they are Beelzebub’s own children.
eemom
Yo, check it out! Your precious ‘Zilla officially joins The Establishment Media:
Goddamn if Mr. Purity doesn’t sound tickled to death.
geg6
@jacy:
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
And now I’m off to get the paper towel to blot the Pepsi from my keyboard and monitor.
licensed to kill time
The cost of the bird seed is why I quit hanging out a feeder. I second the birdbath suggestion as it is a lot more fun to watch birds performing their ablutions than committing gluttony on your dime. Or dollar. Or twenty dollars.
Plant flowers and bushes that attract birds and bees, also!
schrodinger's cat
We have had updates about the birds, about Lily but where is our Tunch update, how is the mighty feline?
Laura W.
Hung?
geg6
@eemom:
Oh gawd. Talk about a pompous assfest.
cleek
@eemom:
his full name is “Even-The-Liberal Glenn Greenwald”
schrodinger's cat
@jeffreyw: You has a pretty kitteh!
jwb
@eemom: Maybe, his criticism is starting to cut, so they figure they better co-opt him now.
Poopyman
@Laura W.:
Isn’t that a little personal to be asking in blog comments?
ChrisS
It’s not so much the birds that feast at my feeder like little piggies, it’s the squirrels. I wonder if they can feel satiated.
jeffreyw
@schrodinger’s cat: Toby reads these threads, now he’s wanting to be cuddled. Fuck.
kommrade reproductive vigor
When your inbox fills up with requests for a “luggage carrier” you’ll have only yourself to blame.
And I think Tunch would look fabulous in a pimp hat. Also2
schrodinger's cat
Has everyone seen this backpacker kitteh?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hul589uvi9s
shaun
Stop feeding your damned birds, John. This spring has been extraordinary for early flowering plants, berries and such. These are what birds eat when there are no feeders to make them fat and lazy.
We stop feeding our birds — with the exception of hummers and goldfinches, which begin showing up in early May — with the passing of the last frost and don’t resume doing so until October.
They don’t need you. Put your time and dough into training Tunch, something you should have begun doing the day she came home.
schrodinger's cat
@jeffreyw: Who is Toby?
Fergus Wooster
I have it on good authority that with the appropriate number of wingflaps-per-second, they could also carry a coconut.
El Cid
Huge Mayan complex in Chiapas, Mexico has a newly mapped & measured pyramid 10 meters taller than the famed Pyramid of the Sun.
It’s also in the middle of a huge architectural complex.
schrodinger's cat
@Fergus Wooster: Are you Bertie’s brother?
Politically Lost
@jeffreyw: I wish you would stop referring to hummingbirds as hummers. My dirty mind continually plays tricks…
Madeline
I let my cats out during nice weather, so I only feed during the winter, because luring birds into my yard at any other time of the year feels too bait-and-switchy on them. Not that any of my cats have ever been quick enough to get a bird, but still, why risk it? I start feeding a little before snow to get them used to the location and end sometime in spring, whenever my seed runs out, sort of weaning them off. Birds will be fine and they always reappear the next winter. Have you considered some nice fruit trees or berry bushes, along with a birdbath or two? That’ll keep birds around your neighborhood during the nice weather.
Face
Sign #593 that you’re doing it wrong is when you’re comtemplating strong-arming a pet store for birdfeed.
Stop feeding them in the summer. All your food-stamp finches and UE benny-stealing bluejays will be forced to get a job for once.
Church Lady
Given that you’ve previously described yourself as looking vaguely like Philip Seymour Hoffman, good luck on your new career path.
Mark S.
@eemom:
He and Jane have figured out the only way they can get on TV all the time is by attacking the administration from the left. I expect them to do this at every opportunity now.
An earlier thread dealt with whether the GOP is committing suicide by alienating Hispanics. I’m not sure if that isn’t the plan. Here’s Ramesh Ponneru from a couple weeks ago:
There are undoubtedly some hacks in the Democratic party, but I think most of them go into politics because they have some ideas for what would make the country better. I’m not sure there are more than a handful of Republicans the same can be said for. I think most of them are perfectly happy voting no on everything while offering nothing in the way of realistic counter-proposals. It’s a little odd to go into government if you don’t think government can do anything (well, besides bomb third world countries).
GVG
Are you sure its not squirrels? Thats usually the reason birdseed consumption goes through the roof. The feeders that close are usually the best although the ones that fling the squirrel off are funny for a while.
Birds eat a lot in nesting season but slow down after. Of course here in Florida they raise 3 broods a year but I suspect its only 2 most places.
If the type of bird you have coming doesn’t like most of your mix, they’ll throw the “waste” seed on the ground and only eat the nice (usually sunflower seed) stuff. this hurts your wallet. The squirrels come clean up the “waste” and so do the moles, which results in a very dug up area around the base which may have a secondary effect of letting the feeder tip over. I have had to switch around what mix or 1 type seed goes where according to to bird mob rule.
Some of the very cheap mixes are a waste of money but once you have “lots” of birds the exspensive mixes are too because it will bankrupt you. Look around for good deals. Feed stores and tractor supply sometimes have better prices on medium range seed. Small bags cost too much except for thistle.
debbie
@Kevin Phillips Bong:
Ha! I’d like to see you eat without hands.
Tony Alva
What?! Tunch can fly?!
Midnight Marauder
@El Cid:
That picture is just astonishing. Really.
tim
Cole, are you sure it’s not the “greedy fatty” SQUIRRELS who are making off with much of the seed?
My neighborhoods furry thieves are amazingly adapt at overcoming any obstacle I put in the way of them and my bird seed, little fuckers. Can’t help but admire their creativity and tenacity though.
Fergus Wooster
@schrodinger’s cat:
Evil cousin. With a beard.
eemom
I thought Al Giordano put it quite nicely when he called them both “pond scum” for their tireless whoring of themselves as the purported spokespersons for all of progressive-dom, when in fact they are nothing of the kind.
Mumphrey
Since this is an open thread, I’d like to bring up the fact that I run a small non-profit called Bilingual schooling for Tela, Atlántida (BiSTA). I recruit English-speaking teachers and raise the money to send them to teach at a little bilingual school in Tela, Honduras. I also raise the money to pay them the $200 a month they earn down there. That way, the school gets free teachers, and free the $200 a month they’d need to pay the teacher for other things, like scholarships, paying the Honduran teachers or supplies and upkeep.
I pretty much am the non-profit. I run it from my house when I’m not looking after our 3 year old daughter. My organization is recognized as non-profit by the IRS under section 501( c )3 of the Internal Revenue Code, so any contributioons are tax deductible. Well, as I said, I’m the non-profit here. I don’t pay myself anything, so all the money goes to the teacher I’m supporting right now.
And as you can guess by now, I’m going to ask that if any of you have a little money you can spare, I’d be happy to put it to good use. Also, the teacher down there now is 74, and needs a knee operation, so he won’t be going back next year, so if you know of any young teachers who wouldn’t mind spending a year teaching in a country where not all the children go to school (there aren’t enough public schools; that’s why there are lots of private ones–private school in Honduras is often not a tony place as it is here, but a place a local family sets up in a town to help fill a need), and who wouldn’t mind living in a Caribbean beach town for a year (Tela is right on the sea there), then please, let me know.
My website is http://www.bista.org
Gracias,
Upshur Whittock
Steeplejack
Who needs to fly when they’ve got Farmer John’s All-You-Can-Eat 24-Hour Buffet?!
paul
Save the feed for winter when food is scarce. There is more then enough natural food sources around. Sure, they’re fun to look at, but all the extra food could lead to overpopulation. If the unnatural food source dries up, there will not be enough natural food to go around. Provide lots of fresh water and you’ll have plenty of customers year round. Or provide plants that naturally attract birds and bugs.
comrade scott's agenda of rage
@Felonious Wench:
Fixed. Clearly you are a BP spokesperson for birds.
In the winter, all I hear about from Mom is how much seed the birds gobble down.
Mark S.
@El Cid:
Wow, it amazes me how much work it must have been to make, especially in middle of the fricking jungle (it also looks mountainous as hell).
bago
Heh. Brick Oven Bill has started haunting teh Wonkett. This should be amusing.
jrg
“I’m General Stuck!”, “No, I’m General Stuck!”, “No, I’m General Stuck, and so is my wife!”.
Elie
@Felonious Wench:
Actually, I have always experienced the highest seed eating volume in the spring, during the nesting season. Of course they eat a lot in winter too, but spring is always extraordinary…
I also put out nectar for the hummingbirds – in my case, the Rufous hummingbird and they nest right about April/May and snarf up gallons of sugar brew — keeps me cooking sometimes a batch a day to keep them in supply. Love to see the little ones when they start flocking to the feeders themselves… they are so cute and you can tell they are learning about things and a couple will frequently suck nectar from the same port on the feeders.
Not to add to your burden, but Baltimore Orioles are beautiful birds and they also consume nectar from feeders similar to hummingbird feeders.
Its all good — wondrous to hear the bird song from all the new friends that you attract. A few hawks too, after a while. Also. (Coopershawks, Sharp Shinned Hawks here in my neck of the woods)
stuckinred
@eemom: But she’s soooooo pretty and she is the only one who tells the truth. Honest.
comrade scott's agenda of rage
@Mumphrey:
How nice! I’d love to do that for a year…but I wouldn’t have a home to come back to since my wife would kill me upon return.
Actually, she’d like to do it because of the diving potential (and it just sounds like a great thing to do). But then I’d kill her when she got back.
Instead, a few dollars sent your way. Good luck!
David Hunt
Guys, it’s nice that you think of Cole by advising him to save money by not feeding the birds in Spring/Summer. However, he’s made it plain that one (perhaps the only) reason he’s doing it is so that Tunch will be able to watch them through the window.
I’ll also note that this is not some pampering/indulgence of a spoiled pet. It’s an act of self-preservation. The more time Tunch spends watching birds, the less time he has to plot killing Cole in his sleep.
Cheryl Rofer
It’s worth it. The blackheaded grosbeaks and western tanagers just returned to my feeders. OMG gorgeous. Sorry, John, they’re not in your part of the country, although rose-breasted grosbeaks, cousins of the blackheaded, are.
The tanagers don’t eat seeds, but they are eating the suet that the flickers have stopped gorging on. First time they’ve decided they like something at my buffet.
El Cid
@Mark S.:
Remember, according to noted scientist Erich von Daniken and reports on Coast to Coast AM, it was built by space aliens, because presumably them short brown folk down there ain’t smart enough to figger out how to do it themselves.
comrade scott's agenda of rage
@Elie:
We are innundated with them right now. The kicker is that for years, they wouldn’t come down from the trees to eat at the feeders. Plenty of them around, just to shy to spend any meaningful time that low.
Until 3 years ago when we got a late frost which killed all the buds on the trees. *Then* they came down and have done so ever since.
Springtime and the arrival of the shitload of Ballmer Orioles here is one of the few saving graces of living in Batshitwinguttyville, Misery.
soonergrunt
@Brachiator: It’s official. the main show is cancelled after the end of this season and Law and Order: LA is in production.
Bastards.
I’m going to watch Glee on Hulu now.
MikeJ
@bago: Thank gopod red state has finally vetted Kagan for us. The fact that she wrote a paper about soçialism is proof she’s a soçialist.
Martin
@Mark S.: It was constructed by birds as a ceremonial site to the great naked seed god. Alas, the squirrels could get there too.
QuaintIrene
@Elie:
Ellie, what you said. Birds can really use the seed during nesting season, when they’ve got other things to do then food-hunt for themselves.
And just to be a wisenheimer, here’s the top 12 bird-feeding myths.
1. Feeding birds make them dependent on handouts.
2. Feeding birds in the Fall keeps them from migrating.
3. Rice Can Kill Birds
4. Birds Will Choke on Peanut Butter
5. Bread is Perfect to Feed Ducks
6. Red Dye Is Necessary in Hummingbird Nectar
7. No Birds Eat Milo Seed
8. Birds’ Feet Will Freeze to Metal Feeder Perches
9. You Don’t Need to Feed Birds in the Summer
10. Birdseed Never Goes Bad
11. Mixed Seed Is a Bad Feeder Choice
12. This Feeder is Squirrel-Proof
comrade scott's agenda of rage
Spring is also a crucial time to feed many of the migratory types, those that are nesting near you and those who are simply transients.
The hummingbirds are ravenous when they get here. No wonder since some probably flew across the Gulf nonstop.
The Baltimore Orioles come up from southern Mexico like many of the hummers do. Same deal, they get here, they’re exhausted from the journey so having the all-you-can eat buffet helps them immensely.
Transients here like the rose-breasted grossbeaks and various warblers (prothonotary being the main ones we see) also need a rest and pitstop before going on further north.
And we certainly don’t begrudge our numerous year-round residents either…unlike some of my asshat, wingnut neighbors who have been known to trap sparrows. Yes, trap sparrows. Heaven forbid that “undesireables” get any precious bird seed.
R-Jud
Don’t bother with the street. I’m sure there are plenty of naked mopping fetishists on Craigslist.
slag
If I had to guess, I’d say that all that flapping burns a lot of calories.
Of course, the only real way to get to the bottom of this question would be to ask Monty Python.
Mark S.
@El Cid:
I was flipping around the other night waiting for something else to come on and History channel had an entire show devoted to Ancient Aliens. I would have guessed von Daniken was dead, but he was there with a bunch of other nutjobs interpreting ancient Sumerian myths as proof of alien encounters.
I remember when History channel would have an occasional show with crackpots deciphering the prophecies of Nostradamus and shit like that, but now about three quarters of their programming consists of crap like that.
jeffreyw
@schrodinger’s cat: He’s this guy: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jeffreyww/4400934581/in/set-72157622612597526/
Mumphrey
@comrade scott’s agenda of rage:
Muchas gracias. I will of course say that you both could go…
speranza
Please tell me someone has seen this masterpiece from Erick Erickson:
comrade scott's agenda of rage
@Mumphrey:
And we’d have nobody to take care of our 9 cats (two of whom are 17 and 14 and are diabetic), our two pathetic dogs (both old, one with one leg, the other heartworm positive and half blind and half deaf) not to mention my ageing and exceedingly grumpy mother.
Good luck and I wouldn’t hesitate to come back here looking for donations. Not that I have any pull with the management.
Martin
@Mark S.: I’ve noticed that – and on SciFi as well. I really don’t need more ghost hunter and alien voodoo shit in my diet, but that definitely seems like the path they’re going down.
Punchy
We’re dying to get squirrels to our feeders. Our greyhounds are begging for this, and the better half and me want to see those furry bastards scared shitless after 2 greys go 0-40 in three steps and show them who’s boss. Likely, they would then tell their friends to stay away and we’d never sweat the squirrels again.
Gregory
@eemom:
Now, that isn’t true at all.
They could get on TV attacking the Administration from the right, too. Ask Joe Lieberman.
schrodinger's cat
@jeffreyw: He is a handsome boy! I love his mask.
Punchy
/checks AL East standings….shakes head in disagreement
jl
Given the mass quantities Tunch must chew through, even on his healthful slimming diet, the birdseed must be the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Cole posted a pick of Tunch just finishing up a bluefin tuna, looking up at the camera and ‘asking’ (actually, ‘impatiently waiting’ is a better phrase) for more.
Mumphrey
@comrade scott’s agenda of rage:
Yes, that does complicate things a bit. I know you can take animals back and forth between here and Honduras; I’ve brought 2 dogs back here myself. Aging and grumpy mothers, though, I don’t know about. You might end up having to quarantine her, and that wouldn’t be good…
comrade scott's agenda of rage
@eemom:
I’m a broken record: Hamsher is all about Hamsher. For starters, it’s a way to make money. No she doesn’t get paid for it but by being on teevee because producers are essentially lazy shits and go to the first name in the Rolodex under “Librul Schill”, she can tell advertisers “I’m on teevee, blah, blah, blah”.
It’s a parallel stategery to how the no-talent Ana Marie Cox got her start. As Boozette, she finagled that into creating the perception that *she* was the female spokesperson for the newly emergent left blogosphere. She was nothing of the kind of course, Cox was all about Cox. And she “rose” accordingly over the last few years.
Hamsher can look to that and attempt to emulate it in some fashion. Another example of the Peter Principle when you get right down to it.
eemom
@stuckinred:
moose shit. : )
SixStringSlingr
When I first put a couple feeders out in front of my place last fall, a friend of mine, who has had them for years, told me “If you let them, the birds will eat you out of house and home. YOU decide how often to fill the feeders. They will adjust.” After the birds completely emptied the feeders four days in a row, I decide I would only fill them twice a week. I still have a yard full of birds on those two days and I no longer go through 30 lbs of bird feed in less than three weeks.
eemom
@speranza:
Erick Erickson? Isn’t he that “honest broker” Lady Jane wants to debate on CNN?
Ecks
You have to burn a lot of calories to be able to hoist yourself up into the air by virtue of sustained vigorous arm-flapping I guess.
Wonder if you couldn’t have time-restricted feeders, so they were only open in the watching hours. Though that might make them loose too much interest if a bunch of them figure it is shut and just give up on it.
Rosalita
We needed something different. Haters of pet posts be damned.
Thanks John.
Joe
I was wondering when you would come to this conclusion. We used to feed the birds at our house, and it was incredible the amount that they could go through. Plus, they tell all their friends. :-)
eemom
btw Elena Kagan would make Jane and Glenn look indeed like intellectual algae in any “debate.” Also too.
David in NY
@Sheila:
This is, in short, the argument for growing native plants (about which I pester here periodically). Those critters, and maybe more importantly the insects, which are an important link in the food chain leading to them, dine best off the natives. That’s one reason your Asian or European origin plants look so pristine — to the local critters, they might as well be plastic.
Violet
Just don’t fill the feeders as often. Seriously, it works great. The birds will come back when you fill up the feeders again.
Also, try a bird bath. Keeping it filled with water should be cheaper than keeping feeders full of feed.
marge
Are you feeding hummingbirds as well? If not, I strongly advise it. Mix 1 cup sugar with 4 cups boiled water. You can store the extra in the fridge. They are very fun to watch and will come back every year once they find your feeder. Put up the feeder on tax day and take it down when they leave in October. Months of entertainment and probable cheaper than bird seed.
mr. whipple
They are hollow-boned.
Poopyman
By the way, today might not be the best day to check up on your 401K. Just sayin’.
mr. whipple
We’ve had the hummer feeders up for about a month, and still no sign of them. I’m getting worried.
kommrade reproductive vigor
And the hawks won’t appreciate the competition.
John Cole
Seriously. You all turned a thread about bird feeders into more Greenwald bashing.
BTW- new feeder today- thistle. IT looks like a large condom hanging from my tree, but I wanted to see if it attracted finches.
And I like feeding them. I will probably slow down in the next few weeks, but I wanted to get my place on the bird map.
Poopyman
@mr. whipple: Ours doesn’t look like it’s gotten any action either, except for the ants, but I don’t think it’s panicking time yet.
We’re in southern MD, btw.
Bill Section 147
@Elie: The Coopers Hawks know my bird feeders are really there as Coopers Hawk feeders. We live near a park and their are a lot of mature trees in the neighborhood. Coopers nest here every year. Never in the same tree but close enough that I can here them clucking in the morning as the sun comes up. About four years ago their nest was actually in our yard. We also had a bumper crop of House Finches nesting that year.
Poopyman
@John Cole: By all means, there’s nothing that says you can’t continue feeding them through the summer. We’ll probably do just that, if only to make sure the 3 indoor cats are thoroughly entertained during the day.
mr. whipple
@Poopyman:
Thanks, that makes me feel better as I’m north of you.
ericblair
@El Cid:
This always burned my ass. Yup, everybody born before the Enlightenment, except for maybe the heathen Chinee, was a moron. Especially if they were vaguely brown. Therefore, anything they did that a bunch of conspiracy theorists lacking the mechanical acumen to unclog a toilet can’t figure out after a round in the pub must be due to Space Aliens.
speranza
@eemom:
Yeah, that would be the one, why, is he not considered entirely 100% trustworthy and non-partisan? I hope he doesn’t get hold of my physics homework from 1995, or he’ll find out that I’m a spaceman.
Poopyman
@Bill Section 147: Back at our old house the Coopers’ MO was to start a dive above the north side of the house, level off at about 1st floor window height, and make a sharp 90 degree high-G turn to the east side where the feeder was. He had maybe a quarter-second to pick out his target, then BAM! A cloud of feathers floating down as the survivors scattered, and the hawk and his meal were long-gone.
marge
The male hummers show up first. Some will stay and others will keep moving north. They are territorial and will try to keep the other males away. I live in central Va and I haven’t seen the females yet. Once they arrive nesting will begin. By July there will be tons of hummers; dad, his many wives and all the kids. Wonderful entertainment.
Bill Section 147
@David in NY: We are really working on renewing our garden with native, bird-food-bearing plants. Besides the water savings the watching is improving. When we moved in there were lots of birds but mostly house finches. As we have become better at restoring the original flora we have seen a strong uptick in the bird diversity. That and suet feeders.
Rosalita
John, if you ever need to replace the Finch Condom, I use one of these and get tons of Goldies a Finch Flocker
stuckinred
@Rosalita: get the flock out of here
licensed to kill time
@stuckinred: meet the flockers
Bill Section 147
@Poopyman: It is so awesome to have a raptor taking care of business right in front of you. I also love it when I can hear them, and I walk slowly out of the house and can find a good viewing spot. They always have their favorite perches so once you get a bead on them you can watch them go the circuit.
I also get a thrill when we startle each other and they drop out of the tree right over my head to get speed and then fly to their next spot. There is something fresh about seeing them suddenly from about 10 feet away – magnificent.
Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
@speranza: Oh, for fuck’s sake. I wrote my thesis (at Bryn Mawr) on collectivized agriculture as a development strategy in socialized countries of sub-Saharan Africa (think Kenya), so I guess I’m not only a socialist but an African farmer, too. My city-dwelling Irish-Jewish family will be astonished to hear this.
On the plus side, does that make me related to Obama? Because you know all those socialist Africans look alike.
Rommie
I think you are just weighing the birds down enough so Tunch can catch one when he escapes again, and you’ll know where to find him.
Rosalita
@stuckinred: @licensed to kill time:
Well ‘Droll’ Yankee came up with the name after all…
trollhattan
@El Cid:
Very kewhl! Biggidy big, also, too.
Could this at long last settle the mystery of the birthplace of the ChiaPet?
HY
Maybe you could figure out a way to pimp the birds instead?
tomvox1
Mmmmm… Delicious Greenwald burn on the BJ inmates:
While he may have a point this time around (or not–YMMV), I love that he throws stuff like “blind Obama loyalist faction” out there just about every time he makes a post like this. Classy.
comrade scott's agenda of rage
@John Cole:
If you think feeding the rest of the bird horde costs a fortune in bird seed, wait until the finches show up. Finch seed costs significantly more and they’ll go thru it like the Tasmanian Devil.
I don’t say these like they are bad things. Love our birds.
trollhattan
@mr. whipple:
There’s gotta be a Cartman crack there, somewhere.
Gretchen D
I’m in Colorado in the foothills and the Hummingbirds have just arrived – yay! As for the regular bird feeder, it draws gobs of birds, and, on the ground, sometimes fox, bears, deer, and nice Abert’s squirrels (black with tufted ears – very cute), so I’m thrilled to feed them. We just fill it once a day and they have to pace themselves – ha!
comrade scott's agenda of rage
@Poopyman:
A few years back, we were sitting on the porch, we have a big wraparound thing at the B&B. Suddenly, something swooped in front of our faces, turned like a hummingbird and barreled out into the trees. Twas a Cooper’s hawk chasing something. Scared us shitless but man, what an impressive display.
stuckinred
I’m sure all you pups know about Chickenman, “he’s everywhere he’s everywhere”!
Pavlov's Dog
I second what others have said about birdbaths – We have four around the front, back, and sides of our house all situated around the base of big trees. You not only get birds, but plenty of squirrels, had four come down at the same time this morning to just the one I could see on back patio. Had to stop with the bird feeding as the feeders attracted big fat rats to start living under our deck and breeding. Also, we break up our old bread and throw it out by the front birdbath which both the birds and squirrels like. A side benefit is the only thing that can get our lazy dogs up is seeing the squirrels in the birdbaths and makes them go out much more than they would otherwise.
Corner Stone
I just assume it’s by Gulfstream V, like all the other CEO’s.
Exurban Mom
@NobodySpecial: Exactly. The “Fatties” are likely squirrels, not birds. Or sometimes the rabbits. We have a regular buffet line of birds and squirrels on our feeder, with rabbits on the grass below picking up the scraps.
stuckinred
@Exurban Mom: That ain’t what a fattie was in my day.
Corner Stone
This is too easy.
mantis
Due to the amount of energy required to fly, especially for extended periods of time, most bird species have very high metabolism and heart rates, and as a result, require a great deal of food relative to their body weight.
For an extreme example, a hummingbird’s heart rate can go above 1200 beats per minute while flying. According to the San Diego Zoo, if a person had the metabolism of a hummingbird, he/she would have to eat around 77 times as much food, or ~155,000 calories per day.
Larger birds tend to have slower metabolisms and heart rates than smaller ones, of course, and need to eat less, relative to their size, as a result. I’m amazed by how much my parrots (1 African Grey, 1 Quaker Parrot, 1 Cockatiel) are able to eat every day.
Once you start talking about flightless birds and some other unusual species, the physiology and energy requirements are different, but for the most part, flying=high metabolism=voracious appetite.
frankdawg
Maybe you could rule them guilty of treason against your yard & have Tunch settle the matter extra-judiciously?
8-{D
Sorry, I couldn’t resist!
jeffreyw
As promised.
Rosalita
@frankdawg:
Lily is the gatekeeper of the yard, remember?
jeffreyw
Again.
licensed to kill time
@Corner Stone: Wait’ll you get to this bit from JC:
David in NY
Pet-themed entertainment:
http://hphotos-sjc1.fbcdn.net/hs326.snc3/28931_1436443149596_1188492694_1275842_6162546_n.jpg
Dave Trowbridge
As a kid (ca. 1960) I toured the Ma Bell facility in downtown LA, which at the time had spotlights on top to light up a big sign. The tour guide told us that the pigeons had gotten so fat gorging on the moths killed by the lights that they were too fat to fly, which was discovered when a maintenance man tossed one over the edge of the roof.
The cats in your neighborhood will bless you if you manage this with your feeders.
machine
It’s just seed redistribution. Those dirty birds are librul proles siphoning off the fruit of John’s noble productivity, denying him the opportunity to enjoy a hard-earned feast of sunflower, millet and safflower.
Hayek, government encumbrance, Pareto efficiencies, Manichean guilt, blah blah blah.
Poopyman
@stuckinred:
No, but it wasn’t the fatties that were flying, either.
jeffreyw
@Dave Trowbridge: I swear to god, I thought pigeons could fly.
David in NY
@Bill Section 147:
Nice. I do it, but don’t notice a big change in the bird population. I hope to get a little wider variety of butterflies, however. I gather it’s at the insect level it does the most work — many insects have evolved with a relationship to the particular chemistry of particular plants, and absent that plant and its chemistry, they’re goners. Not all are such specialists, but many are, and they are the food for birds and on up the food chain. Douglas Tallamy’s book “Brining Nature Home” is a great brief for this (think it has a wonderful table about which plants support the most species — oaks are phenomenal in this regard).
Poopyman
@Dave Trowbridge:
“As God is my witness, I thought pigeons could fly!”
ETA – It just occurred to me that most of you kids have no idea what that references. Well tough titties!
schrodinger's cat
It is not that birds getting fat that I am worried about, how long until we find Tunch near the bird feeders
saying
I iz in Ur birdfeeders feeding Ur
birdsmyself*burp*
stuckinred
@Poopyman: irie
Anne Laurie
@comrade scott’s agenda of rage:
I am compelled to quote commentor Davis X. Machina:
Your neighbors are obviously stockpiling sparrows, along with their Glenn-Beck-endorsed ‘survival seeds’ (which I think is what Rush Limbaugh calls his vicodin supply, too also).
Poopyman
Sick minds think alike.
David in NY
God — you go into moderation for talking about “specia[l]ists”. Damn the pharmaceutical that dare not speak its name.
Midnight Marauder
@tomvox1:
That is the primary reason that, despite the quality of Greenwald’s writing, I find him to be an utterly loathsome human being.
There is just no reason for that kind of shit.
mr. whipple
Invasive species.
Bruce (formerly Steve S.)
In roughly early April all the birds in my area stop feeding on seed completely and switch 100% to bugs. I don’t put out seed for roughly half the year and the little bastards don’t seem to miss it a bit. Weird birds you got there.
Randy P
@Bill Section 147:
I actually studied this stuff in college. I was a physics major, and there was an elective course I took called “comparative physiology” that studied basic design principles across the animal kingdom. Lots of plots running from mouse to elephant.
I thought the course was great because it was a real physics approach to biology. Except when a test asked a question where it was assumed I knew something basic, like the difference between an auricle and a ventricle. The bio majors meanwhile were struggling with the physics, which was pretty basic from my viewpoint.
Anyway, there is a fundamental principle that if you are warm-blooded, the smaller you are, the faster the metabolism. It has to do with heat lost through your skin, and the ratio between surface area and volume. As I recall, birds have to eat several times their body weight daily just to stay even.
I’m sure you all wanted to know that.
Randy P
@Poopyman: You evil person. You made me use all my Google skills tracking down your reference. I had this vague feeling that I’d seen the TV show in question.
Found it. Nope. Not a show I watched when it was current. Maybe I’ve just seen clips of the episode.
Cris
Damn damn. Veronica was the role Portia de Rossi was born to play.
frankdawg
I have real sympathy for you poor unfortunates that missed WKRP. Truly a great sit com.
I HAVE A MONKEY ON MY FOOT
I am the air
so many great lines.
Poopyman
@Randy P:
Your Google-fu is not strong, Grasshopper, if it took all of your skill. By the time I’d typed (after your comment, btw) “As God is”, the autocomplete had “turkeys fly” as the #2 linky.
(“Grasshopper” is another ref that you kids wouldn’t immediately get.)
John Cole
@David in NY: What plants should I put in- I really do not have the time right now to read a book on the topic. Name some groundcover like pachysandra and I will put it in.
SiubhanDuinne
I’ve always wondered why the phrase “eats like a bird” came to mean “scarcely picking at one’s food” when in fact many birds eat close to their own weight every day. (I think that’s a fact. I read it once in Ripley’s Believe It or Not, so I expect it’s true.)
(Probably not ostriches, though.)
Chat Noir
@frankdawg: “And now for more music and less Nessman.” WKRP is still one of my all time favorite shows.
BTW, Tim Reid played the judge on last Sunday’s episode of “Treme.” He still looks good.
Elie
@comrade scott’s agenda of rage:
I love the birds. Just love them.
One of my favorite sights is the return of the Trumpeter Swans — their beautiful honking calls and graceful long necks, teamed together in flights of two to three to five birds, keeping each other company and putting music in the air. Also dig the Snow Geese, with their undulating migrations of hundreds of birds….
Those are our biggest migrants. We have other small populations that shift. The Juncos head back to the mountains and the Evening Grosbeaks and Towhees return.
Every once in a while we get a Calliope hummer — though its very rare — (they prefer the mountains). The Rofouses chase them off. They are even tinier thant the Rufous and have shorter beaks..
Anyway, I love them all… hummers love bathing in the garden sprinklers during the summer and get pissed off if I turn off their activities prematurely…
SiubhanDuinne
@Sasha: @SiubhanDuinne:
Sasha, you beat me to it.
Elie
@schrodinger’s cat:
And I tell you, no matter how chubby, cats can move when the stimulus is right.
This stuff is hard wired in their brains and they so adore it. My buddy is a chunky guy, but even without claws (sorry, he came that way), he has caught many many mice and one bird — even though I do not formally let him out, he has gotten out and he is a very very effective predator.
SiubhanDuinne
@Elie:
Wow, Elie, where do you live that you get Trumpeter Swans and Snow Geese? How lovely for you.
elmo
Ugh to all of you nature lovers applauding, happy and joyful, at the #@$#$%*@#(@#[email protected]# Cooper’s hawks. “Oh how wonderful! Oh how magnificent!”
Oh how m#$%$#%@#ing irritating. They eat my chickens. I swear I’ve lost more laying hens to Cooper’s hawks than to foxes, weasels, and possums combined. It’s incredibly annoying.
Origuy
@frankdawg:
Hulu has it. Turkeys Away.
At least they say they do. I can’t play it at work. They must block Hulu specially; I can play YouTube.
Elie
@SiubhanDuinne:
Yes — Northwestern WA state…
The snow geese are on their way through north but we home to many of the swans
Elie
@elmo:
I do understand and appreciate your pain..poor chickens — even neighbor’s dogs have a go at them..and I think that they are friendly wonderful creatures but marked by nature to be everybody’s favorite food…
RAM
We’ve had to almost stop bird feeding. First, the damned squirrels simply wreak havoc on the feeders. We’ve gradually purchased armor-plated feeders that are wrapped in heavy wire mesh so that when the greedy little buggers tear them down out of the trees and off the shepherd’s crooks, they can’t get anything out of them. But still, having to go out and set things aright all the time is a real pain.
And then the hawks staked the feeders out. We’ve got one local pigeon hawk, a seasonal sharp-shinned, and an occasional Cooper’s who look upon the feeders as a sort of drive-in for frequent dining. We only feed when it’s really cold, and that’s about it these days.
tisalaska
At least up north here they tell us not to feed in the summer..might just be a bear thing but they also say there is plenty for the winged critters to eat in the summer ie bugs etc…feed em in the winter when they dont have anything. No matter where you are birdy ATM’s are an expensive hobby,..
Bill Section 147
@David in NY: Just checked it out over at Timber Press and I’ll probably buy it. First I am going to spend some time at Tallamy’s web site everybody look up your own state on this and he has other links too. Thanks David in NY.
also
John, West Virginia…Native Plants
Anne Laurie
Unless you live between a creek and a pond, water is every bit as important to birds as seed, and hella cheaper for us humans to provide. Last year’s record-breaking rainy summer was the first we didn’t have birds queueing up to drink & splash in my highly professional water distribution systems… two 14″ plastic plant saucers on the lawn near my tomato planters, where I could refill them with the hose when I watered the plants. Donut-shaped mosquito dunks keep Satan’s humblest army down while not harming or discouraging the birds, chipmunks, bunnies, and occasionally our dogs.
Bill Section 147
@elmo: Sorry for your loss.
We don’t have chickens in our area anymore.
There is a lady a couple of towns away that raises chickens for the raptors that migrate through.
Evolutionary
@David in NY: I strongly second the Recommendation of Doug Tallamy’s book “Bringing Nature Home”.
The relationship between Caterpillars and native plants is a pretty tight one. As Doug points out in the book, over 90% of North American land birds feed their nestling insects even those that eat mostly seeds as adults. Caterpillars are little protein and fat pills for baby birds.
As David said Oaks are dined on by the by the greatest number of species of caterpillars. Fortunately we don’t usually notice any damage until over 10% of the leaf surface has been eaten so we rarely notice any unsightliness.
There are many other plants discussed and and good details and tips. Here is a link to a page of podcasts of the many radio interviews Doug Tallamy has done since the book was published about three years ago.
LanceThruster
I used to put out stale bread and crackers and such (crumbled of course) until I learned that it just attracted crows and that crows were known for crowding out other species (though I like crows well enough – plus, what better group nomenclature than “a murder of crows”?).
Can you put the bread crumbs in a feeder so that the songbirds get it and doesn’t create some other health or ecological hazard?
The Truffle
I have an idea:
You know the lady who makes the mosaics? Maybe she could make mosaics of Tunch and Lily. Just a thought.
frankdawg
@Origuy:
I’ll have to look them up but the last I heard they where still held up over the music rights. They tried rerunning them on TVLand but they had to replace all the music & they didn’t do a good job of it so a lot of the scenes lost some of their punch.
Venus Flytrap: I got suits I can’t get parts for.
Les: And the senator, while insisting he was not intoxicated, could not explain his nudity.
Dog is My Co-Pilot
Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and remember back to a simpler time – when you wondered where all the birds were.
Cheryl from Maryland
@jacy: Yeah for Chuck.
Better off Ted was probably canceled by a concerted effort of the network’s corporate masters to stop making fun of them by telling the truth. I will miss Len and Phil.
The Tim Channel
There used to be an expression something like ‘cheap as birdseed’, but I guess that all changed when we entered the free market era of Chickens for Checkups? FWIW, you could feed the entirety of Darwin’s finches with what it costs to care for one horse. (don’t ask).
Enjoy.
patrick
are you sure it’s birds, and not squirrels? the squirrels empty ours out in a matter of hours.