Despite spending millions of dollars, Carly Fiorina is within the margin of error against her underfunded rival in the race to lose to Barbara Boxer this Fall. If Carly does squeak out a win, Boxer can just run this on a loop for the next couple of months:
Meg Whitman’s trendlines are also looking awful.
TR
Carly Fiorina is running her campaign with all the skill and finesse that she brought to Hewlett Packard.
kommrade reproductive vigor
I blame the Demon Sheep.
MikeBoyScout
Former half-term governor Sarah Mooselini Palin is our 21st century Beat politician.
She riffs on in spontaneous prose in ludicrously syncopated rhythm giving voice to the cool burning thoughts of real Americans.
I designate this piece of tack-tick, drop-drip, dug-dig endorsement poetry as ….. Deep Blue Scowl.
Redhand
Since I can’t stand the sight of Palin, it’s been some time since I took the plunge to actually listen to her. She really is incapable of uttering a single coherent sentence: Gawd, what does it say about our society that this idiot is so prominent?
bago
@TR: Well, at least she doesn’t have a golden parachute.
Cat Lady
OMFG. I made it 30 seconds in, and now I have a twitch. She’s on something, cuz no one can be that dumb and think they can pull off a speech that will get that much attention. Her hair is awful now, also too.
debit
@MikeBoyScout:
How can anyone pay to listen to her speak? After 30 seconds I can’t even hear the words, and instead fixate on her weird pauses and sudden outbursts. It’s like the adult voice in Charlie Brown cartoons, but in a screech.
vtr
Now, students, please be so bold as to diagram that sentence. Then, please tell me what, if anything, she said.
dmsilev
@MikeBoyScout: Have you heard William Shatner’s renditions of her resignation speech and a couple of other things? Beat poetry at its best.
dms
Funkhauser
Last time I checked, Carly was doing extremely poorly against Tom Campbell, a formerly sane politician. If she’s within the margin of error, that’s an improvement.
MattF
I predict Someone Else will win the primary.
Ned R.
Believe me when I say it’s been VERY entertaining out here watching the GOP candidates waste time, money and energy trying to destroy each other. Jerry Brown in particular is sitting back and laughing himself to sleep each night.
kdub
WTF!
Is that what you would call a Dingbat Dogwhistle? Because that whole snippet made little sense to me.
Keith
It’s like watching someone giving a book report for a book she didn’t read.
Lane
Ok, just preaching to the elitists; why is pro-life (ad infinitu)?
The conservatives need to learn the difference between, conservative and reactionary. Really, words means something.
But maybe that’s because I am an part of the elitist force to keel america.
MikeBoyScout
@13 kdub:
Why should politicians always need to make sense when they
speakriff?Let us all pause in a moment of silence and, also too, be grateful for the gift this woman has for us given, to stand and be making words with all of us.
Pamela F
OMG,
That is probably the worst endorsement I’ve ever heard.
c u n d gulag
Sarah has obviously never heard of a comma.
I’m not sure she know anything about periods either. The number of children in that family might be used as evidence.
Chat Noir
Thanks. For some reason, that gave me a hearty chuckle. And to think people pay money to listen to her.
I can’t emphasize enough how much I despise that woman. Go away already!
Linda Featheringill
@Lane:
Good observation! A large part of the whole Teaparty group is actually quite reactionary.
I had forgotten that term but I feel better now that I have the correct name for the phenomenon.
Nick
Authentic frontier gibberish.
SiubhanDuinne
@c u n d gulag:
The day is young, of course, but as far as I’m concerned you win the intertoobz.
gbear
@Keith:
Garrison Keillor called out Norm Coleman for that in a couple of great columns. Keillor’s hatred of Coleman was always a joy to read.
dmsilev
It’s like someone took a copy of The Complete Set of Republican Talking Points and tossed it into a blender to make Talking Points Smoothies.
dms
Frank L
Tina Fey is brilliant!!
NickM
I
Among twenty snowy mountains,
The only moving thing
Was the eye of the blackbird
Until Sarah shot it.
II
I was of three minds,
Like a tree
In which there is Sarah.
III
Sarah whirled in the autumn winds.
It was a small part of the pantomime
but it paid well.
IV
A wingnut and Fox News
Are one.
A wingnut and Fox News and Sarah
are starbursts.
V
I do not know which I hate more,
The annoyance of inflections
Or the annoyance of innuendoes,
Sarah talking
Or just after.
VI
Icicles filled the long window
With barbaric glass.
The shadow of Sarah
Crossed it, to and fro.
The mood
Traced in the Tea Party, the indecipherable cause.
VII
O thin men of Wasilla,
Why do you imagine golden birds?
Why not buy golden coins
With Sarah on the obverse?
VIII
I know noble accents
And lucid, inescapable rhythms;
but good god, Sarah’s voice
makes me want to drive nails in my ears.
IX
When Sarah flew out of sight,
She was headed to Seattle, there to transfer planes
to Anchorage, and drive a couple more hours to Wasilla and bear Trig, at least according to her autobiography.
X
At the sight of Sarah
Sitting in the green room,
Even the bawds of Commentary
Would cry out sharply
“Starbursts”.
XI
Gore rode over Connecticut
In a glass coach.
He is fat.
Also, Sarah.
XII
The river is moving.
The blackbird must be flying.
Sarah must be lying.
XIII
It was evening all afternoon.
It was snowing
And it was going to snow.
Sarah sat
In the wings, waiting.
El Cid
Sarah Palin is brilliant and a great leader and she will help take our country back from those what done took it. You libruls are just jealous because a Real American is so purty and got rejected by your secular Marxist Hollywood.
Anya
That dingbat is a talking sentence fragment. How can anyone believe this idiot writes anything.
SGEW
@NickM:
Oh my lordy lordy, this is brilliant. Stevens ftw.
mistermix
@NickM:
Is this the Balloon-Juice stanza?
Miss Kitka's Comrade Wayne
Jesus Fucking Christ. Who will put me out of my misery?
artem1s
I know noble accents
And lucid, inescapable rhythms;
but good god, Sarahās voice
makes me want to drive nails in my ears.
brilliant.also.too!
DanF
@MikeBoyScout:
I saw the dimmest minds of my generation destroyed by
madness, starving hysterical naked,
suppressing their sexuality or hiking the Appalachian trail at dawn
looking for an angry fix,
pin-headed hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly
connection to the wingnut dynamo in the ATM machinery of night,
who obscene wealth and hollow-eyed and high sat
up smoking in the Tea Party darkness of
cold-water flats floating ignorant punch-bowl turds
contemplating jazz,
gocart mozart
@dmsilev:
Ha! The only way to listen to Palin is as performed by master thespian and beat poet William Shatner.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgiqSNNuhQg
Thunderbird
The half-term governor endorsing the CEO who drove her company into the ground?
Sounds like a match made in FAIL heaven.
John S.
Pull Sarah’s string, and she spouts pre-programmed talking points. Ask her to apply any reasoning to her words, and she’ll stare blankly and blink like a Cupie doll.
Fern
@NickM: Now THAT was clever. Also funny.
mr. whipple
Roses are red,
Violets are blue
Palin is an idiot
Dork
Meg’s pantylines not looking much better.
gocart mozart
Also Twitter beat poetry also.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpbSwSlP4Yc&NR=1
flukebucket
@NickM:
I may have to take the rest of the day off. I just cannot gather myself.
In 2,000 years somebody is going to stumble across this and declare it Holy.
Thank you. Thank you so very much forever.
Vishnu Schist
@NickM: FTW!
DanF
@NickM: You beautiful elitist bastard. Bravo!
NickM
@flukebucket: Gosh, thanks!
Finally, my English degree pays off.
Davis X. Machina
@NickM: This is fully in a league with the Poorman’s Poker with Dick Cheney.
Engrave it onto a gold-plated aluminum disk, and staple it to the side of the next extra-planetary probe, stat
Lane
@Linda Featheringill:
You said: “Good observation! A large part of the whole Teaparty group is actually quite reactionary.
I had forgotten that term but I feel better now that I have the correct name for the phenomenon.”
Us libtards need to get this quote out to the world. Webster was an ass; he had a massive agenda, however, Webster and the OED and Random House’s — Unabridged (ok, that may also be elitist) dictionaries are in agreement.
The conservatives and Tea Party maroons (may they learn some history) need to learn to read. No, they need to learn to understand. Ok, fail point :o
El Cid
Sarah Palin in endorsing Republican Tim Burns for PA-12 apparently thought Burns was running against Specter, according to the quote I just heard read out on the Stephanie Miller Show. (I didn’t catch the source.)
Bob L
Well Meg is racking them up, first Cheny and now Palin. That pretty much sets her wingnut loon out to destroy California for being a bunch of moonbat loons cred.
Bill E Pilgrim
Wow. It’s like a one-player game of “telephone”, and she lost.
Tsulagi
Watching the clip wonder if anyone told Teabagger Spice who she was endorsing. Probably not, likely just asked if her appearance check had cleared before taking the stage to toss out a little house salad.
Paul in KY
@flukebucket: Instead of ‘A Canticle for Liebowitz’, it will be ‘A Wailin for a Palin’.
The document in question will be the rider to one of her speaking contracts.
Warren Terra
For a month now, most every ad break on broadcast TV in LA has had a vicious attack ad (or occasionally a riposte ad) – from Poizner or Whitman. Fiorina has now started to flood the airwaves, too.
James F. Elliott
Oh, man, the Whitman vs. Poizner ads are frigging hilarious. Poizner’s positioning himself so far to the right, he’s got ads playing in the Bay Area media market that tout his support for Arizona’s illegal immigration law. You know, that law that’s largely seen as discriminatory towards brown folks. I don’t know if he’s run the math, but you can’t really take California without L.A. or the Bay Area… San Diego and Redding just aren’t going to cut it!
Meanwhile, Whitman’s also tacking to the right by attacking Poizner as a liberal (!) by attacking Al Gore and abortion rights. In a socially liberal to moderate state like California that’s trying to position itself as the “green” state, this is just plain stupid.
The crazy-ass Republican primary is forcing both candidates to swing so far right that they’ll have major problems re-positioning themselves as center-right moderates, which would be the only way to win state-wide office. Unless Jerry Brown is caught on tape paying an underage Vietnamese hooker to fist goats while pleasuring himself, he’s going to be governor.
flukebucket
@Paul in KY:
Selah
Bob L
@James F. Elliott: Brown is going to run? That will be interesting. He’s certainly come a long way from when he was governor moonbeam. What he did as Mayor of Oakland and State AF makes me wonder if that Moonbeam stuff wasn’t BS in the first place.
kindness
Yea Meg just ‘loaned’ her campaign another $4M Monday. What, she’s up to sinking $70 M of her own money into her ego crusade now? She won’t talk to journalists if she doesn’t get the questions in advance & have veto over which questions can be asked. She’s another Sarah Palin for god’s sake, with a bit more intelligence. I’m less worried about her since the dirt came out about her being in bed with Goldman Sachs during and after her time at E-bay. I’ll vote for Jerry Brown again and actually be happy about it.
Carly….well, Carly is a walking train wreck. Tom Cambell would have a shot at taking out Barbara Boxer but Carly couldn’t get herself elected dog catcher so again, I’m cool with that as Barbara Boxer is one of the only actual progressives in the Senate.
dadanarchist
Let me tell you why I love both Meg and Carly.
Because they have both convinced the GOP that they have a chance of beating Boxer and Brown in the fall, and once again the GOP is going to waste millions of dollars – that they don’t have and need to be spent elsewhere – on a windmill tilt.
If I were Democrats, I’d commission a Rasmussen poll to show the two winning just to bait them into wasting even more money.
James F. Elliott
@Bob L:
Oh, dude, he’s running. His mere entrance caused San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom to immediately drop out of the governor’s race and run for lieutenant governor. Brown’s campaign is non-existent (no primary opponent) and won’t even need to ever exist. I despise the man, but he can run on “I’m Jerry Brown, baby!” and win.
Allison W.
Unless you provide a text, I will not click play on any video of that woman. TMZ caught up with her the other day and I immediately put the tv on mute.
bobbo
Sarah Palin, just really loving that dangling gerund clause also.
dadanarchist
It was always bullshit as you can see here and here.
dadanarchist
I was too young to really know him in his first incarnation and by the time of his resurrection, I had moved out of California.
But so far, what I see, me likee:
trollhattan
@James F. Elliott:
How those two haven’t lifted Ga-lee-vor-ni-yaa out of the recession all by themselves is a mystery. Between them they’re up to $92 mill-yun, and that’s just their own portion. That each is trying to out-conservative the other makes for great theater, and whichever emerges next month will make quite the contrast with the wily Brown.
Their latest battleground? Pr0n!
http://www.sacbee.com/static/weblogs/capitolalertlatest/2010/05/what-spending-x.html
Funny enough, if I were voting in the Republican primary I don’t know which clown I’d pick. They’re both demented and while Meg seems too reptilian to consider for a nanosecond, Poizner is a whack-a-loon with a Napolean complex (he’s a short fella).
Yeccccch.
Zuzu's Petals
Talk about not being able to speak without a script.
Also too you’d think she’d spend some of those zillions of bucks she’s getting to keep that speech coach the RNC hired.
On the other hand, it’s entertaining to watch her voice reach for the stratosphere.
Hawerchuk
Jerry Brown will be an improvement on governor failure, no question. But we need to fix Prop. 13 here. Macy’s took the damned thing to the Supreme Court. Warren Buffett opposes it on fairness grounds. But Jerry doesn’t have the sack to change it. So I can’t be more than lukewarm towards him.
Origuy
I’ve been an HP employee since the Compaq merger. If Carly wins, it’s going to wreck my summer, because I will have to work for Boxer. I always thought Campbell was sane for a Republican; I’m not sure how much of the wingnut sauce he’s pouring out is authentic.
Brown is going to clean Whitman’s clock (or Poizner’s, if a miracle occurs). He’s going to make 1982 sound like the Golden Age of California and it’s been going downhill since then. (Ignoring Grey Davis, his former chief-of-staff)
Bubblegum Tate
@vtr:
The diagram would look like a Tinkertoys explosion.
hal
great line.
PonB
I’m a native Californian, and, to paraphrase The Rock, “What in the blue hell is ‘Deep Blue California’?!?”
Referencing Topeka, however, I see it’s a phrase from The National Review…’nuff said…
– PonB
handy
True that. If this were Feinstein’s turn to re-run I honestly don’t know whether I’d care if she lost or not.
Warren Terra
I despise Brown – there was a great article in The American Prospect last year explaining how he’s no liberal and was indeed a backer of the disastrous Prop 13. But I’ll enjoy seeing him crush the Rs.
handy
Wait…are you saying these tapes exist? I mean, I’m not asking because I’d like to see them, you know. It’s just, as a voter, I feel it’s my civic duty to know pertinent information about candidates. You know. To be better informed.
Badtux
This is an outrage. If rich people aren’t allowed to simply buy elected office, we’ll all disappear into a festering black hole of suckitude like those evil Canucks!
– Badtux the Snarky Penguin
Nick B.
@handy: This could have definitely happened! There are many worse things that were hidden from publicity and actually happened a lot in Vietnam.
mak
Never really understood the “Mary Hart Syndrome” Seinfeld episode. Now I feel it.
trollhattan
@Hawerchuk:
I suspect, regardless of how flawed, Prop 13 by now has the stench of permanance, hewn as it is from holy Jarvis tablets.
Brown, however, could lead an attack on the two-thirds vote requirement for the legislature to pass a tax increase (but a simple majority for cuts). That’s doable.
Patriot 3
@mak:
However, if you can position yourself behind her and fiddle with your wedding you may be able to hold off the Mary Hart Syndrome feeling for awhile. It seemed to have worked for this old guy before this video was Scrubbed By Sarah…
http://www.sirened.com/2008/09/mccain-checks-out-palins-ass-while-fiddling-with-wedding-ring/
Amanda
Grew up in Northern Calif and am throughly enjoying watching this train wreck of a GOP primary in advance of the BBox beatdown of sad Gooper in the Fall.
Zuzu's Petals
@trollhattan:
Yep, but because it would be a constitutional amendment it would have to go on the ballot. I suspect the voters might be more likely to approve an amendment allowing the budget to be passed by a majority vote…my number one choice.