Happy Hump Day.
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Thank gods John Cole doesn’t pay me, so I don’t have to use these tactics here.
Reader Interactions
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Come for the politics, stay for the snark.
I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.
We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.
Black Jesus loves a paper trail.
The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.
if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.
Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.
This isn’t Democrats spending madly. This is government catching up.
The words do not have to be perfect.
A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires.
Republicans do not trust women.
Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.
When tyranny becomes law, rebellion becomes duty. ~Thomas Jefferson
Our messy unity will be our strength.
“When somebody takes the time to draw up a playbook, they’re gonna use it.”
One lie, alone, tears the fabric of reality.
Republicans: The threats are dire, but my tickets are non-refundable!
Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.
My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.
Shut up, hissy kitty!
I desperately hope that, yet again, i am wrong.
“Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on.”
… pundit janitors mopping up after the gop
If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.
Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.
stuckinred
Rahm slapped Jane’s pretty ass after Lincoln won, so much for the power of the netroots. Whose her next target?
fucen tarmal
my problem is, i can easily do sections one through three, its section 4 that i have trouble with…
this is what bugs me this morning, that i wasn’t the person who invented this
camelflage
NobodySpecial
Pay is socialism!
NobodySpecial
@stuckinred:
Of course, Halter was headed for getting 48% of the vote anyways, right?
Toast
Um, why does the boss have a mullet and a 70’s mustache?
J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford
As someone who has survived 5 rounds of lay-offs over the last decade I can’t tell you how true panel 3 is about the stacks of paper. I have a special file I call “the Penske file” and I pull it out and re-sort the contents whenever I feel the need to pretend like I’m working.
soonergrunt
Well, I’m on day three of a special work task called “being paid to sit at home and wait for an email.”
I can’t go to work until the the Contractor Verification System has all of my information correctly entered and verified.
That can take a while. And while I like the whole thing with getting paid to sit on my ass and do nothing, I’d like to get back to actual work.
stuckinred
@soonergrunt: Sounds like your military training should come in handy :)
Matt
I had this problem. I was good at my job, good with the software, and I got things done quickly. But this left me with lots of free time. Ideally you’re supposed to “ask for more work”. But soon the work you’re given starts going from work that needs to be done to work that would be nice to have done. They basically start casting about for any stray task that will keep you occupied, scraping deeper into the bottom of the barrel each time. It becomes a miserable cycle where the better you do your job, the worse tasks you’re given to fill your time because you’ve already done the necessary stuff. Eventually I started downloading e-books in .txt format, which from a distance are indistinguishable from office documents when you’re reading them in MS Word. “Yep, yep, working real hard on this doc for hours…Voldemort just made the Tri-Wizard Cup into a portkey.” I can also make an Excel sheet that allows me to play Sudoku.
Poopyman
Sadly, this cartoon doesn’t teach me how to look busy while refreshing the comments at BJ all afternoon. Although come to think of it, I must look like I’m concentrating intently at the computer, which has the screen conveniently arranged so no one can see what’s on it. I guess maybe having an outdated prescription in my glasses actually does some good!
Poopyman
Oh, and as far as Lincoln’s win, MSNBC is telling us how she won:
Seriously. The unions are the Washington establishment now and a 2-term Senator is not. Nice to know. Thanks, MSNBC.
J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford
Carly Fiorina is lucky she is a Republican because if she ran as a Democrat with that face she would be hearing about it non-stop. She’s brutal.
Ken
Well, Anne, should that day ever come.. I’m not saying it will, just using it as a “for instance”.. you’ll be well prepared.
soonergrunt
DEERS/RAPIDS is down worldwide with no anticipated TTA/TTR (time to availability/time to repair)!
Woohoo! Another day of doing jack while being paid! YAY ME!
adolphus
I would add to the “walking around” panel that it is better to do this with a folder or two in your hand. (Clipboard is too obvious unless you really use one as part of your job) And you should open it and pretend to read whenever you have to stop walking like waiting for an elevator, waiting in line at coffee machine, etc.
Walking around empty handed makes you look like a mall walker.
ericblair
@Matt:
Oh yes, that. Pisses you off because you get some useless time-wasting shit to keep you occupied: generally, if there was something useful or interesting to do someone would be doing it. Pisses your managers off because now they’ve got to scramble around looking for something to keep you occupied now that you’ve forced the issue.
Like, seriously? I’m waiting for a new CAC: nice to know my notification system is Random Dude on Blog.
maya
Had an AVP boss who used all these techniques many years ago, especially panel 3. Had to hire 9 secretaries for him in a little over a year’s time. They were quitting out of boredom.
I would add one more panel. Wait 10 minutes after the VP, or your boss, has decended in the elevator for early departure before you push the button yourself. You don’t want to run in to him/her in the subway or parking garage.
OriGuy
@soonergrunt: I had a friend who worked at Lockheed on a Defense project. He waited for months for his security clearance to go through. He couldn’t do anything until that happened and no one could tell him anything about the project. It’s called being a mushroom, because you’re kept in the dark and fed shit.
Chuck Butcher
In my line of work this is pretty pointless since there is a concrete outcome of your production. I suppose that’s the benefit of being boss on a construction site… I suppose.
LikeableInMyOwnWay
Best work cartoon I’ve seen:
Boss: You don’t look like you are working.
Employee: I didn’t know you were coming.
soonergrunt
It appears that DEERS/RAPIDS is back up. or it was long enough to get my CAC today.
Just hanging out, though.