Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

A dilettante blog from the great progressive state of West Virginia.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

After roe, women are no longer free.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

All your base are belong to Tunch.

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Let there be snark.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

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Reader Interactions

126Comments

  7. 7.

    tesslibrarian

    That is almost exactly what I told my husband my ideal birthday dinner would be–no cake, a good steak. I think that means more birthday dinners at 5 & 10, but that’s okay; their wine list is typically better than my own.

    Happy Birthday!

  8. 8.

    demo woman

    In honor of your birthday, the gov of SC went missing again just like last year. Don’t drink and hike.

  10. 10.

    beabea

    Happy birthday, John!!

    From an infrequent commenter but daily (at least) reader of your fine blog. Thank you for the efforts that make this blog possible, and of course for sharing your pets with us. Coming here and finding a picture or video of one of my virtual pet overlords, brightens any day.

    And besides rescuing Tunch and Lily from the kitty prison, and Rosie from the street, who knows how many other pets you have helped by inspiring your readers to adopt/rescue, from the Little Bitsy campaign, and funds from your Ballon Juice store.

    You are a good man. Enjoy your birthday dinner.

  12. 12.

    Keith G

    Thought you might be roasting some wascally wabbit.

    Wishing you a happy and peaceful night and rest of week.

    Oh, and Gov Sanford is missing again. Wonder what’s on his menu?

  13. 13.

    licensed to kill time

    Crap, now I’m hungry. Enjoy your old ribeye (can’t you afford a new one? i keed i keed…) and Syrah, birthday boy.

  14. 14.

    EconWatcher

    Happy birthday! As you reflect on your accomplishments to date, I hope you take satisfaction in the fact that you’ve created a community. A grumpy, roguish, misanthropic community–but a community nonetheless.

  15. 15.

    CynDee

    We all lift a glass to you, John. Wine and ribeye. Wow!

    Also, hope it doesn’t storm tonight. May the furry ones stay asleep so that you get a peaceful and well-deserved rest.

  18. 18.

    elmo

    Ohhhhhh…mmmmmmm. And I was just trying to figure out what to cook, too. Have leftover lamb, but no yogurt or rice. Have shrimp and bell peppers, but no cilantro (shut up, haters, I love the stuff).

    And here you come with the perfect meal. Wet-aged or dry-aged? Never mind, doesn’t matter, RIBEYE!

    Oh, and I recommend Gnarly Head cabernet sauvignon. Inexpensive and so yummy.

  21. 21.

    meh

    other than the broccoli, squash and salad (leave the bleu cheese), that sounds delicious.

  22. 22.

    Josie

    When I have my pre-dinner glass of wine tonight (medicinal purposes only, you understand), I’ll toast you, your birthday and your lovely family. Happy birthday.

  23. 23.

    qwerty42

    @tesslibrarian: dinners at 5 & 10
    ??? Perhaps I missed something? “5 & 10”? (ok, there happens to be a restaurant in this town with that name, but …)

  24. 24.

    Quaker in a Basement

    Rare? Medium rare?

    I got a buck that says Cole is a sensible Medium type of guy.

  25. 25.

    Svensker

    @elmo:

    Have shrimp and bell peppers,

    Go cajun, son, you can’t miss. Some jambalaya or some gumbo or some etouffee. Personally, I’d go for the shrimp etouffee cuz it sounds real good right now and it’s so easy. Yum. (If you don’t have a good etoufee recipe, google Emeril’s — it’s teh delish.)

    John, the only thing about your menu I’d change is I might add the bleu cheese to the steak instead of the salad. Otherwise, I’ll be right over. What kind of cake?

  26. 26.

    elmo

    @Svensker:

    Go cajun, son, you can’t miss. Some jambalaya or some gumbo or some etouffee.

    I would love to — but no rice. I have no idea how that happened, either. I never run out of rice.

  27. 27.

    TaosJohn

    Well, Happy Birthday, John!

    And BTW, does everybody know now how Obama blew up the Gulf of Mexico instead of Iran? Not making this up: http://oilprice.com/Energy/Energy-General/Obama-Administration-Knew-About-Deepwater-Horizon-35000-Feet-Well-Bore.html

    The White House approved the well and waived safety tests (to save time) in late 2009 in what can only be interpreted as preparation for war. I’d say somebody oughta make a big stink about this, except the Earth already did.

  29. 29.

    Svensker

    @elmo:

    Yeah, I just saw that. Can’t have etoufee widdout da rice. I was gonna say Brazilian Coconut Pepper Shrimp, but that needs rice, too. Actually, you could do mashed taters with the etoufee. Hmmmm. I’m just hungry raght now.

  31. 31.

    David in NY

    @TaosJohn:

    Heh, heh. Bet you didn’t notice that that link and story you are touting was totally unsourced except for a reference to the Wayne Madsen Report. And Wayne Madsen is batshit crazy.

    Just thought you ought to know. Nice to meet you.

  32. 32.

    Mike Kay

    Looks like we had a brisk newsday (just finished reading the posts). Looks like someone pickd the wrong week to throw a “let’s start a 3rd party” tantrum.

  33. 33.

    geg6

    @Quaker in a Basement:

    Medium rare is acceptable, though rare is best if I’m the one determining what “rare” is. Any other doneness is the equivalent to shoe leather, especially with aged beef. So says me and my sister with 35 years in the fine dining biz.

    Sounds delicious for a birthday dinner, Mr. Cole. Especially the syrah and steak and bleu cheese. Three of my favorite things. I’m jealous. But then, I’m sitting on my tiny third floor apartment deck, sweating bullets, because my apartment is even hotter. Seems the electricity is off for no discernable reason. Must have been a storm, but nothing is wet. Electric company says it will be back by 7:30. I sure hope so.

  34. 34.

    Patrick

    The obvious response to the activist judge who overturned the moratorium is to simply review and pull all existing permits. That will end drilling until the permits are re-approved. Since we know that no existing permit application has a plan that could stop a leak, they can all be pulled.

  36. 36.

    elmo

    @geg6:

    Anything at your local cineplex you’ve wanted to see? I used to go to the movies all the time during the summer back when I had no air conditioning, just for a break from the heat.

  37. 37.

    Jager

    Happy Birthday John,

    Mine was this past weekend and friends did prime rib, garlic mashed, wildrice with sausage, about 3 veggies, wedge salad…cake, ice cream and we ate for an hour before we sat down to eat, oysters, cheese from many lands oh, and the 6 of us drank 11 bottles of wine, can’t remember the names, they were all good…didn’t recover until late Monday.

  38. 38.

    David in NY

    @Patrick:

    I was wondering if just pulling them one at a time applying some appropriate criterion might be simpler than winning an appeal in the Fifth Circuit.

  39. 39.

    Mike Kay

    @David in NY: Obama bashing is a long time internets tradition, especially for sore losers from the 2007 primaries.

    If you go to PUMA blogs, they still insist obama somehow stole the nomination from Hill.

  42. 42.

    Violet

    Yummy sounding dinner! I’m a big fan of syrah. Are Lily, Tunch and Rosie getting a special meal too?

    @John Cole:

    A brand new weed eater!

    You are livin’ large, John Cole!

  44. 44.

    David in NY

    @Mike Kay:

    Yeah, I know. I just like the way they come around here, acting polite and all (“Well, Happy Birthday, John!”), dump a shit, and then leave.

    Edit: No, not that guy just above me! He’s OK. I’m referring to Taosjohn and his delusional post.

  46. 46.

    Carrie

    I absolutely love blue cheese. You should try that salad with a handful of walnuts tossed in.
    Great, now i have a craving.

  48. 48.

    geg6

    @elmo:

    There hasn’t been anything at my local cineplex that I wanted to see since “Star Trek” and “Julie and Julia”. There aren’t many mainstream films made, especially in the summer, for women over 50 who hate action films, horror movies, animation, and romances starring anyone under the age 40 or so. My choices are limited. :-(

  49. 49.

    John Cole

    Rare? Medium rare?

    Extremely rare. Sometimes my steak is so rare you would think branding the steer was enough cooking for me.

  52. 52.

    jeffreyw

    I’m workin on a lamb recipe. Red wine, chicken stock, tomatoes, buncha garlic.

  53. 53.

    Violet

    @John Cole:
    I’m impressed with your tolerance level. I’m such a lightweight that after a glass and a half I’m completely loopy. Apparently I’m very entertaining after a strong margarita.

  55. 55.

    Jay in Oregon

    So the birthday menu will consist of a bottle of Redwood Ranch Syrah, an aged ribeye, broccoli, squash, and a salad with some crumbled blue cheese.

    … OK, 50 posts in and no one has shouted “elitist!” yet?

    Seriously, have a happy birthday, John.

  56. 56.

    elmo

    @John Cole:

    Extremely rare. Sometimes my steak is so rare you would think branding the steer was enough cooking for me.

    I would ask you to marry me, but I think my partner would object. Then again, if you shared the ribeye and bleu cheese, she might just throw me aside.

  57. 57.

    Tunch

    Is Richard Cohen’s op-ed today the stupidest op-ed ever, or of all time?

    Those inscrutable foreign types are so hard to read.

    Now open me up a can of tuna-fish bitch!

  63. 63.

    Lysana

    That sounds like an awesome meal, John. I admit I’m no blue cheese fan, but that’s my kink. And you cook steak the right way, too. Extremely rare.

    Happy birthday!

  64. 64.

    John Cole

    So the little piggies got a little kibble, a little bit of canned food, the diced up remains of the steak, and I poured the juice all over both. I’m lucky I did not lose a finger while putting the bowls on the ground. Lily was doing her happy/gotta potty dance while Rosie was standing up on her hind legs while I was making it.

  66. 66.

    schrodinger's cat

    @John Cole: What no steak for Tunch? My boy kitteh loves raw beef, once as I was unloading the groceries, I found him with some steak I had brought for dinner, he had managed to get it out of the grocery bag and had dragged it to the bathroom, and was proceeding to open the package when I caught him in the act!

  68. 68.

    Tank Hueco

    This is akin to stating, as someone did in the previous thread, that they are the only straight man in this country who doesn’t find Sarah Palin attractive. Here goes: I am probably the only person in the state of Texas who does not like steak. I’m not a vegetarian. I’m not anti-meat. But it’s too rich and fatty for my taste. :-/

    In any event, happy birthday, John! Besides Sully and Coates, yours is the only blog I read, and it has some of the best commenters anywhere.

  69. 69.

    TaMara (BHF)

    @John Cole: So this weekend, trying to find some good salmon for my one cat that I always feel gets the short shrift, I stumbled on pouches of shredded fish for cats. Fish with shrimp. Fish with Salmon. Fish with snapper. I thought I was going to lose a hand when I tried to put their bowls down with a small scoop on their dry food.

    Basically I’m screwed. They get expensive kibble, but I was getting away with a really cheap spoon of canned food. That’s not gonna fly anymore.

  73. 73.

    Mnemosyne

    This must be a steak kind of year, because we went to Ruth’s Chris for my birthday last week. I’m a wimp and got it medium, though, not medium-rare.

  74. 74.

    David in NY

    @Tank Hueco:

    But it’s too rich and fatty for my taste

    I believe that is its appeal to many, but I know what you mean. Especially if it’s a ginormous not-very-good piece of meat. Which as I recall, on my brief stay in Texas many years ago, was a specialty in the places where I could afford to eat.

    I absolutely love the little, expensive steaks I get from a farmer near my place in upstate NY, grass fed and all. Gotta be careful not to overcook, because they don’t make as much fat as the corn-fed cattle and can get dry, but done right they are not fatty and they have a wonderful beef taste.

    Also, any steak at Peter Luger’s in Brooklyn is terrific. Also.

  75. 75.

    Elisabeth

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    I had a cat who ate the better part of the pound of ground beef I once set on the counter to thaw. He wasn’t hungry for the rest of the night. Luckily, it didn’t make him sick, either.

  76. 76.

    geg6

    @elmo:

    That’s in my Netflix queue(sp?). Robert Downey Jr. is my exception that proves my rule. Though, based on the reviews from actual reviewers and friends who saw it, “Ironman 2” will not be making my exceptions list.

  77. 77.

    AlanDean

    @Jager:
    “6 of us drank 11 bottles of wine, can’t remember the names,”

    one bets you can’t, wait, were those the wines or the guests?

  80. 80.

    Ailuridae

    @Tank Hueco:

    If thats your objection but you otherwise like beef, go the meatier, leaner cuts. I have no interest in filet but I love a well prepared london broil from a cut of top sirloin, Added bonus: they actually taste like meat and are 1/5 the cost. You can’t order them often at restaurants but for home preparation they are outstanding.

  85. 85.

    Tank Hueco

    @Ailuridae: Thanks for the advice from you and David in NY. The funny thing is, my fiancée is a woman who can down a so-rare-it-moos ribeye like it was a Snickers bar. But as she says, my steak aversion just means that there’s more for her. :)

  86. 86.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    Okay gang, I need advice. Samantha several weeks ago had an accident with her cat door and she scraped her back. The wound is now healing and the fur is growing back (I kept it clean and everything) but she is now terrified of her cat door and will not go into the sun porch to eat. As a result I now have to feed her at the front door, which of course leaves the food available for whatever other critter is out there (possums I suspect) so that by the time I get back down there she is without food. I hate it. She actually let me pick her up today, so I figure that I can now get her in my soft cat carrier. However, Aunt Marie can no longer take her for some reason (I think since she lost her husband), Carolina Animal Protection Society is not taking any cats at all for adoptions as all their foster homes are full. I cannot bring her here as I am convinced that while my other cats might take to her, I am sure the boxers will not. Short of going down and feeding her seven days a week (and going through several bags of cat food a week) I do not know what to do. She is 19, she has obviously not got much time left, I refuse to have her put to sleep (as the boss suggested today) but I don’t know what else to do. Thoughts?

  89. 89.

    JGabriel

    @John Cole:

    Dessert is the other half of the bottle of wine.

    A man who shares my philosophy on dessert.

    Except that I would cut the words, “… half of the …”.

    .

  91. 91.

    4tehlulz

    Since this an open thread, this one’s for Dennis G.

    Through the good graces of Tov Pizza, which has served this community for more than 26 years, Abramoff will begin to rebuild his life.

    Tov Pizza was nicknamed “Lo Tov” when I lived there; I guess it’s nice to know that some things never change.

  92. 92.

    Michael D.

    How to cook a perfect premium cut of steak:

    1. Let it dry to a point just before it dries to a crust. You don’t want that. Do not cook a steak right out of the package it came in. You can put it in the fridge, covered, overnight if you like.
    2. Bring it to room temperature (can take two hours.)
    3. Season it with plenty of salt & pepper before you put it in the pan and rub it in. Do not season while cooking.
    4. Heat the pan until a drop of water put in the pan doesn’t go all over the place, but stays in one ball till it evaporates.
    5. Wipe out the pan and put oil in it.
    6. Just as the oil starts to smoke, put the steak in the pan and turn it down to medium.
    7. Turn the steak every minute until it’s done as you like it. See below for “done”ness test.
    8. DON’T use a fork – us tongs or you’ll allow juice to escape.
    9. Let the steak rest for 5-7 (just re-checked my notes) 10-15 minutes before you eat it. If you cut into it before it’s ready, the juices will run out.

    Here’s how to tell how “done”a steak is by touching it. Relax your hand and touch the fleshy part of the palm at the base of your thumb. That’s what raw feels like. Now, bring your thumb to each of your fingers and feel that same spot…

    Thumb to forefinger: Feels like rare.
    Thumb to middle finger: Feels like medium rare to medium.
    Thumb to ring finger: Feels like medium to medium well.
    Thumb to pinky: Feels like well done.

    Trust me, of all the things I’ve said here that people don’t agree with, I swear you will think I am a steak god if you follow these instructions.

    Personally, I prefer to fry a steak in a cast iron skillet. It just cooks better. But you can follow the same process on the grill.

    If you like “grill marks” do this:

    1. Put the steak on the grill for a couple minutes, then turn it 45° to get the cross marks.
    2. When you see beads of blood coming up through the steak, turn it over.
    3. When you see blood coming up through the other side, you can take it off for medium or leave it a little longer for more well cooked.

    Again – tongs, never use a fork.

  93. 93.

    Michael D.

    If you like a topping for your steak, try this:

    Melt and mix together 3:1 salted butter and Roquefort cheese and spoon it over the top! YUM!

  99. 99.

    Kered (formerly Derek)

    What’s the point of flipping it every minute rather than just leaving it for five minutes a side?

    EDIT: Not trying to be a dick, here. Just curious.

  100. 100.

    Michael D.

    Because if you leave it for a long time on either side, the blood will move to the bottom each time. When you are turning it consistently, it cooks perfectly and evenly each time. Oh, and your steak will maintain its thickness if you do this. It will also be juicier. I promise you.

    Every time.

    I tell ya what. Waste $7-$10 on a good steak, try it, and come back to tell me it’s better another way! :-)

    I don’t think you’re being a dick. I had to learn this, too!

  103. 103.

    Michael D.

    “Flip once” is a good steak. Just the way he said it.

    “Flip often” – the way I described – is an order of magnitude better, you assbag motherfucker.

  104. 104.

    Annie

    @jeffreyw:

    Interesting. Last week I was watching TOP CHIEF, and all four chiefs screwed up cooking lamb. My husband and I just laughed. He is Bosnian, and Bosnians eat lamb, lamb, lamb and lamb. And, for dessert they have lamb.

    Once when we were still living in Sarajevo, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a drink, went into the kitchen and screamed. There was an entire lamb — dead of course — on our kitchen table. Seems my husband forgot to tell me about the lamb BBQ-rotation we were having in our garden the next day.

    Happy B-day John. Enjoy the evening with the family.

  106. 106.

    Tank Hueco

    @ Kered, Michael D.

    Talking about ‘crusty’ meat isn’t helping change my mind, guys. :)

  107. 107.

    Kered (formerly Derek)

    @Michael D.:

    Because if you leave it for a long time on either side, the blood will move to the bottom each time.

    Interesting! Thanks. Kinda feel like heading to the butcher this weekend to pick up a couple steaks and test this out!

  109. 109.

    Quaker in a Basement

    @elmo: Sorry, elmo. I’m running short on irony quotes. That should have been “sensible.”

  111. 111.

    CaseyL

    @Litlebritdifrnt:
    I’m trying to figure out the layout. Is the sun room an enclosed porch, accessible via the cat door? Does the front door have an area that could similarly be enclosed, even if it’s only a stoop?

    Could you possibly replace the cat door with a different design, one she would not associate with being injured?

    Or: do you have a room that can be blocked off from the doggies, that Samantha can stay in (and I do mean stay” i.e., food and water dishes, and litter box)?

  115. 115.

    El Cid

    The inevitable lightness of LiberTeaTardia.

    The libertarian-leaning [Rand] Paul, who condemns taxpayer-backed bailouts of the private sector, will benefit from a Thursday night fundraiser at the National Republican Senatorial Committee in Washington, D.C. Nine of 12 GOP senators listed on the invitation voted for the $700 billion bank bailout in 2008. Tickets to the event went for $1,000 per person, with sponsorships up to $5,000 per group.
    __
    During the primary, Paul pledged not to accept contributions from any senator who had voted for the financial bailout. That promise was included on his campaign website at the time but has since been removed.

    In a sane world, there would then follow howls of ‘flip flop’ or ‘waffler’, but, no, he’s a principled libertarian.

  116. 116.

    Nicole

    Late to the party, but happy birthday, John! I wish you a year filled with things that bring you as much pleasure as this blog brings its readers.

    And thanks to all the comments, I’m craving rare steak and I’m not even much of a meat eater. Thanks guys, thanks a lot.

  118. 118.

    El Cid

    My favorite fresh (i.e., non-aged) steaks are big-ass ribeyes, an inch and a half or so thick, seasoned with salt and pepper and maybe red pepper and olive oil, and it is put on a charcoal grill so hot that it immediately bursts into flames beneath, literally flame roasting them, and both sides get crispy carbonized black, and then we move them to a higher level or onto a pan on the grill with butter to cook more slowly, and then rested for 15 minutes.

    It’s not the Alton Brown way to do it, but god, is it good.

  119. 119.

    Michael D.

    @Michael D.: Dammit, Michael, you forgot to tell people to rub olive oil all over the meat before they seasoned it!!

    Sorry. Rub olive oil all over the meat before you season it!!

  122. 122.

    Mary

    @John Cole:

    Hi John, a VERY happy birthday to you! Your stories about your little furry friends bring me much joy. And more than once your political commentary has helped me to keep my sanity.

    You are a very precious national resource.

    Very fondly,

    Mary

  125. 125.

    hamletta

    Late the party, as usual, but I wanted to wish our host a happy birthday! Thank you for all you do!

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