Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

They love authoritarianism, but only when they get to be the authoritarians.

Come on, media. you have one job. start doing it.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

Everybody saw this coming.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

Just because you believe it, that doesn’t make it true.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

Let’s finish the job.

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

American History and Black History Cannot Be Separated

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

You can’t love your country only when you win.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Italy v Slovakia; Paraguay v New Zealand Open Thread

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95Comments

  4. 4.

    handsmile

    From the Guardian’s “World Cup Daily” podcast on New Zealand’s draw against Italy:

    “The last time the Kiwis held their opponent this successfully, it was going ‘Baaahhh’….”

    Every tournament needs its Cinderella team, and by god, I hope that New Zealand continues the tale. (Though the image of Ryan Nelsen in a ballgown may give one pause.)

  6. 6.

    EDantes

    If you fall down after picking both feet up, that should be an automatic yellow card, maybe?

  7. 7.

    bh

    looking at the tiebreakers for this group, it seems like if , say both games end up 1-1 or 0-0 the second spot between New Zealand and Italy will be decided by the “drawing of lots by the FIFA Organising Committee.” Is that right?

  9. 9.

    Ailuridae

    @EDantes:

    Yes.

    Can one of you more tuned in to this tell me what sequence of events needs to happen for ITA to go home? Is it just a loss against Slovakia?

  10. 10.

    Punchy

    This match must be setting all sorts of records for body odor and chest hair.

    Slovs score a GGGGOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAALLL!

  11. 11.

    4jkb4ia

    “Fallo inutile di Cannavaro. Giallo meritato.” This commentary was made to delight the Italy haters.

  12. 12.

    4jkb4ia

    @Ailuridae:

    If they win against Slovakia they’re in.
    If they lose they’re out.
    If they tie and New Zealand ties, it comes down to a tiebreaker.

  13. 13.

    ricky

    You know, watching that marathon at Wimbledon leads me to believe the declining popularity of that sport is due to the incessant point scoring.

  14. 14.

    EDantes

    “Drawing lots” always reminds me of the biblical scene where they are divvying up Jesus’ clothes before crucifying him.

    Probably would feel like that to the Italians too, so maybe accurate.

  17. 17.

    Kryptik

    Gahh….that gash on Sterba’s knee looked just AWFUL. And I think the decision by him to stay on is a bit of a mistake. That can’t be something you can shake off and play a good game on.

  18. 18.

    Violet

    I just tuned into the Italy-Slovakia game and one of the players has some huge gash on his leg from a cleat. Looks awful.

    Just prior to that injury, the announcers said that Italy wasn’t playing very well. Since they’re down a goal, that looks possible. Is Italy dire today?

    Thrilled NZ is holding off Paraguay at the moment. Go All Whites! Although, they’re dressed as All Blacks today.

    Can’t decide which game to watch, and can’t take time to watch either really. Ah, the World Cup!

  19. 19.

    EDantes

    @4jkb4ia: Ha ha. You have a different definition of disaster than I. I’m rooting for about 5 teams, none of which are called Italy or France.

    Italy is lucky the slovaks can’t aim better. It’d be 3 nil.

  20. 20.

    Kryptik

    @Violet:

    Unless Italy can manage at LEAST a tie, they’re gone, and the way they’re playing, that’s a pretty dicey prospect.

    The sad thing too is that if Slovakia pulls this out, they still might go home if the Kiwis pull out a shock win against Paraguay.

  21. 21.

    ricky

    They are serving frozen ropes at Wimbledon people. Mahut’s abdominals are not abominable nor hurt.

  22. 22.

    Face

    That guy’s knee is fugly. He needs to shake it off and suck it up.

    Edit: Tennis match at 62-61. Jeebus.

  24. 24.

    ricky

    @Violet:
    Putting points on the board so fast it hurts. So many points they quit counting after one player gets to 40.
    I think they did that to appeal to football fans since they can’t count higher.

  26. 26.

    Violet

    @colleeniem:
    I can’t believe they’re still going strong. Crazy, crazy, crazy match.
    Edit: Thanks for the link. Yet another liveblog. I’ll never get any work done today. LOL.

  27. 27.

    cmorenc

    It isn’t that Italy is playing bad…but they’re playing mediocre against a Slovakian team playing well who’s up 1-nil at the start of the second half. As we’ve seen repeatedly so far this WC, even for the traditionally strongest sides, mediocre isn’t good enough against a lesser but still quality side having a good game itself. That’s been the form for embarrassment for quite a few normally top sides, some for a half, some for sixty or so minutes, some for an entire game. Italy, Germany, England, even Brazil got stalemated by N Korea for awhile before breaking through.

  29. 29.

    SteveinSC

    Sorry for this out-of-date post but…

    I was driving from Florida yesterday and missed watching the US game. But, thanks to XM, I heard it. Nearly drove into a semi when Donovon packed it away.

    The videos of fan reaction over at huffpo are more than great fun. I’ve gotten to see the score and the reactions again and again. Like being at five or six pubs at the same time. Had I been sitting in one or another soccer watering hole for 90 minutes and tanking up on beer, scared to get up for the loo, I would surely have pissed myself.

    USA:-)USA:-)USA!

  31. 31.

    Andy K

    Just tuned in…Did that Slovakian kid with the fauxhawk just come on the pitch? If he’s been playing the entire game, that’s some damned good product in his hair.

  32. 32.

    Punchy

    At what point do they simply declare this tennis match a tie and allow them both to advance? It’s got to be screwing up a bunch of scheduling and court availability.

  33. 33.

    Violet

    @Punchy:
    I don’t think they can without changing the rules.

    For these players it’s got to feel like Groundhog Day tennis hell. Until they figure out what to do, they’re doomed to play these games over and over again.

  34. 34.

    ricky

    @Punchy:

    Declare the match a tie? Ha. Ruin the integrity of the game? Geez, they might as well let soccer hooligans in free on a Sunday night every century or so.

  38. 38.

    4jkb4ia

    “Gli azzurri ci mettono il cuore, ma non basta.” This was an actual comment from two minutes ago.

    It’s all over.

    This can be accepted if actually karma for not using the black player.

  39. 39.

    Steeplejack

    Man, I am loving this Slovakian beatdown that Italy is receiving.

    Wasn’t “Slovakian Beatdown” a lesser-known Queen song?

  43. 43.

    4jkb4ia

    More seriously, you can’t let them both advance because there is no group. De Bakker has to play one of them.

  44. 44.

    Steeplejack

    Even in the dust-up the Italian takes a dive!

    . . . Wow. Italy scores but the goal is disallowed. This game is having a wild finish. Too bad for the Italians they waited 80 minutes to wake up.

  45. 45.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN)

    If New Zealand scores, do they need all-weather radials in Hades?

  46. 46.

    Morbo

    Wow, prediction up in smoke. Nonetheless, haha.
    Also should’ve known better than to call a win for Paraguay when all they needed was a draw.

  53. 53.

    Kryptik

    Holy wow, beautiful rainbow shot over the goalie, and Italy is DONE.

    EDIT: Randhino, when was the last time the last time the champions and runner-up of the past Cup failed to make the knockout stage the next Cup?

    Yikes. And 3-2 Italy just like that.

  59. 59.

    Lawnguylander

    Am I the only one rooting for Italy? I never have before and it feels like rooting for the Yankees but the 37.5% Italian son is going to be upset if they can’t pull off a miracle tie here.

  60. 60.

    Face

    Tennis match done! American wins sumpin-sumpin, sumpin-sumpin, sumpin-sumpin, sumpin-sumpin, 70-68.

  63. 63.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN)

    The Slovaks won because their coach looks fabulous.

  64. 64.

    colleeniem

    @Face: I wish I could have seen this from the beginning (of today). They need to replay it in its entirety!

  69. 69.

    J.W. Hamner

    Those last 20 minutes of the Italian/Slovakia game sound like they were something.

    The two teams in the championship game last World Cup were eliminated in group play. Dogs and cats living together.

  70. 70.

    You Don't Say

    @Face: Glad to see it end. (Actually didn’t see it end but I’m confident I’ll be able to find a replay of final point.) Gotta feel for Mahut.

  72. 72.

    J.W. Hamner

    @Randy Paul:

    The ESPN stat guy thing said that it’s never happened that both were eliminated in Group play, but if you count one not qualifying and the other eliminated in Group then it’s 3 times… but he did not elaborate on specific dates/teams.

  75. 75.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN)

    Who had both Australia and New Zealand coming within inches of advancing?

  78. 78.

    SLKRR

    @J.W. Hamner:

    The ESPN stat guy thing said that it’s never happened that both were eliminated in Group play, but if you count one not qualifying and the other eliminated in Group then it’s 3 times…

    Let’s see:

    1966 – Brazil out in group play and Czechoslovakia failed to qualify

    1950 – Italy went out in group play and Hungary failed to qualify — but they were the 1938 finalists, so I don’t know if that should count.

    1934 – There was no group play, but Argentina went out in the first game and Uruguay didn’t enter because they were pissed off that the European teams didn’t travel to Uruguay in 1930

  80. 80.

    MattR

    The first three South American nations whose groups have completed ended up winning their group. Brazil and Chile each need to tie or win their final game to make it a clean sweep.

  81. 81.

    catclub

    Italy and France are already out in group play.
    Spain will likely go out if they do not win tomorrow.

    Yipes.

    @ MattR: yes, the South Americans may petition to hold the world cup there again.

  82. 82.

    Andy K

    @SLKRR:

    1950 – Italy went out in group play and Hungary failed to qualify did not enter—but they were the 1938 finalists, so I don’t know if that should count.

    Just to clarify: The Soviet bloc of nations didn’t enter the 1950 World Cup. Hungary would have had a good shot at winning that one, considering that they had the best player of that era, Ferenc Puskas.

  83. 83.

    jomo

    Did anyone see the melee in the goal after the first Italian score? It looked to me like the Italian kicked the goalie when he was down and fell to his back writhing in pain after pulled off.

  86. 86.

    burnspbesq

    Simon Elliott, who is out of contract, proved he can still play. Would love to see him back with the Galaxy.

  87. 87.

    handsmile

    @ That’s Master of Accountancy…et al.

    World Cup 2014 will be played in Brazil.

    Call me crazy, but it is for that fact alone that Brazil will not win the Cup this year, imho.

    It is cosmically inconceivable that Brazil will not win the tournament at home. And in this era of world football, I just cannot envision any nation repeating as World Cup champions.

  88. 88.

    HumboldtBlue

    It’s in Brazil in 2014, isn’t it?

    Oh, and for that Jersey-born Italian kid who decided to play for the Azurri? How the fuck does it feel to be watching your nation’s team advance to the knockout stage?

  89. 89.

    Royston Vasey

    The Kiwis maybe gone, but we did far better than we ever expected.

    Played 3, drew 3, 3 points, no losses!
    Didn’t finish bottom of the group!
    Only conceded 2 goals!
    Finished HIGHER than Italy!

    This nation, primary a rugby nation, salutes the ALL WHITES with pride.

    New Zealand’s only professional club, the Wellington Phoenix, are playing a pre-season friendly against Boca Juniors of Argentina on Friday 23rd July in Wellington, NZ.

    I expect a 25,000+ crowd.

    RV in NZ

  90. 90.

    Randy Paul

    @handsmile: That’s exactly what happened in 1950: they lost at home to Uruguay. That makes Brazil the only country to have won the cup not to have won on home soil.

    @HumboldtBlue: He’s probably enjoying a bit of schadenfreude actually, as he was not on the final list for the Azurri and I’m sure he would have been a great asset for them.

  92. 92.

    SLKRR

    @Randy Paul:

    Brazil is the only Cup winner not to have won at home, but they are also the only Cup winner to have won on every continent in which the Cup Finals have been held (Europe 1958, S. America 1962, N. America 1970 & 1994, Asia 2002). They need to win this time to keep that streak alive. ;-)

    The only other country to have ever won off of their home continent was Argentina in 1986, who won in Mexico. Someone’s going to do it this year, too, because I really don’t see Ghana going all the way.

  93. 93.

    HumboldtBlue

    @Randy Paul: I know he was left off, he could have gone to the second round if he had played for the U. S., so I hope he has a good cry.

    Although, deep down, it’s hard to blame him for wanting to play for one of the top sides internationally, I’m feeling some good old schadenfreude on his behalf.

  94. 94.

    Paula

    @HumboldtBlue:

    Giusseppe Rossi. He might be feeling glad to be kept off this year’s Italian old guy disaster squad, but I bet he’s feeling the pain of being left out of the celebrations of the USMNT.

    Oh boy, do USMNT fans resent him.

  95. 95.

    handsmile

    @ Randy Paul

    Thanks, I appreciate your response. I should have been more precise in the phrasing of my post.

    To clarify, I was divining the probability of Brazil’s success in 2014. The fact of their home loss sixty years ago, like the fact that both Italy and Brazil did win consecutive World Cups (1934/1938; 1958/1962) seems to me more relic than relevant to the state of contemporary world football. But, of course, the primary reason to compile and consult sports records is to keep debates percolating.

    @ SLKRR

    Many thanks for pointing out Brazil’s continental conquests. (I had never put that together.)

    While the imperialist in me should thus root for their next territorial triumph, the metaphysician in me foresees a doomed campaign.

    Ruefully I wonder when Brazil might claim the prize for the Antarctic World Cup.

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