Dinner was great:
That fed seven people. Cleaning up sucked, though. Mom and dad came down, as well as some other friends, and dad spent the entire night telling embarrassing stories about me to Brian and Tammy. I’m going to roophy his wine glass next time.
Bonus points for guessing the alt-text movie quote.
MikeJ
For the people here who run the food website, I made the rhubarb-ade this weekend. Twice. Very popular.
sherifffruitfly
Seriously? 1 lobster fed 7 people? Were they like 3 years old or something?
Corner Stone
That tiny dog and the lobster fed 7 people?
John Cole
@sherifffruitfly: It was ten pounds. We had some Maryland blue crabs, salad, tomato basil and mozzerella, some bread, and a couple bottles of wine. Eaten over the course of about 5 hours.
Corner Stone
BTW – too easy.
Warren Terra
One lobster, a small dog, and maybe some poor soul’s forearm fed seven people?
Well, the forearm-less victim probably wasn’t hungry. Still, a tip for next time: more crustaceans, fewer pets and limbs.
Warren Terra
(Beaten to the low-hanging fruit by Corner Stone, but at least I
wasn’t too squeamishhad the poor taste to include the forearm in the joke.)schrodinger's cat
I love crabs, I has a jealous! I usually boil them in a broth of ginger, cilantro and green chillies, freshly ground cumin and then thicken the broth with a puree’ of carmelized onions and coconut.
Yutsano
@John Cole: Just one question JC: how did you end up killing the aquatic cockroach?
@schrodinger’s cat: Mmm…Thai-style crab. Sounds very delish. You have an exact recipe?
Corner Stone
We’ve got buuuush!
donnah
You brought Pinchy home to meet the dog and then you ate him? sob
Corner Stone
@Warren Terra: I wasn’t really sure what to do with the obviously female arm steering that poor puppy to his/her death by WV gourmands.
So, in best Colbert style, tip of the cap to you.
Violet
That’s one big ass lobster. And he looks pissed off. Dinner sounds wonderful. I’m about to go get Mexican food. Can’t wait.
@MikeJ:
Rhubarb-ade? How did I miss this? I LOVE rhubarb. Linky?
schrodinger's cat
@Yutsano: Its not Thai, its from the west coast of India. I will have to dig up the recipe, goes great with both rice and chapatis (especially if they are freshly made!)
Corner Stone
My dad tried that once. Once.
2th&nayle
At first perusal, I got the impression that the lobster was sitting atop a counter or table and the dog was standing in the floor. After a second look I realize their both on the floor, which can only mean…holy shit! What a lobster! I’m no expert on lobsters, far from it, but I think you unband that big boy and he takes the dog 2 falls out of 3, no sweat!
MikeJ
@Violet: http://whats4dinnersolutions.wordpress.com/2010/06/12/rosemary-lemon-rhubarb-spritzer/
The empty bottle that I had laying around to store the syrup in may hint as to how the recipe was kicked up a notch, but it was good without adulteration.
http://lh5.ggpht.com/_jjuzPKR1lcM/TCavS-GfysI/AAAAAAAABBw/ElbId8_DH3o/s800/DSC_0001.JPG
schrodinger's cat
@2th&nayle: In Soviet Russia the lobster eats you.
me
The 70’s red vinyl flooring! So nostalgic and tacky!
John Cole
@Yutsano: It wouldn’t fit in the pot in one piece so I drove the new chef knife through it’s head to kill it, then dismembered the claws and threw it in the pot.
Comrade Mary
Note to self: always stay on John’s good side.
Litlebritdifrnt
You ate that thing instead of taking it to the nearest body of salt water and releasing it? What the fuck are you Cole? Paul McCartney is famous for going to his local grocery store, buying all of the lobsters in the tank and then releasing them. I love that guy.
fucen tarmal
@Corner Stone:
jesus, who are you, joe piscopo? danny vermin?
also. too
Warden: Your turn, Johnny. The priest you’ve requested has arrived.
Charley: [pretending to be a priest] Are you ready, my son?
Johnny Dangerously: I’m ready if you are, father.
Charley: Dominus vobiscum nabisco. Espiritu sanctum. De gustibus.
Prisoner: [hands Johnny a part of a tommy gun] So long, Johnny.
Charley: Me gustibus. You gustibus. We missed the bus. They missed the bus.
Prisoner: [hands Johnny another piece of the gun] Be brave, huh, Johnny.
Charley: When’s the next bus?
Johnny Dangerously: [begins putting the gun together behind the wardens back] Always, Nails.
Charley: Summa cum laude. Magna cum laude. The radio’s too laude. Adeste fidelis.
Prisoner: [gives Johnny another piece] Good luck, Johnny.
Charley: Centra fidelis. High fidelis.
Johnny Dangerously: [struggling to put it together] Why didn’t I take shop?
Charley: Post meridian. Ante meridian. Uncle meridian. All of the little meridians.
Prisoner: [adds another piece] Bye bye, Johnny.
Johnny Dangerously: [adds piece to gun] Bye, Rock.
Charley: Magna carta. Master charga.
Prisoner: [hands piece to Johnny] Spit in his eye, Johnny!
Johnny Dangerously: [finishes putting the gun together] OK, rabbi.
Charley: [opens his bible to reveal the guns clip] Dum procellas. Lotsa Vitalis.
Warden: Any last words, Johnny?
[gun cocks]
Warden: [turns to see Johnny pointing a tommy gun at him] Well said!
Comrade Mary
Oh, and here’s how I spent my afternoon.
Getting reassured by someone covered with flop sweat — isn’t that reassuring.
Welcome to Toronto! We love you and your tourist dollars! Please come again!
schrodinger's cat
@Litlebritdifrnt: If it was that big, it was probably very old. Lobsters can live for a really long time.
MikeJ
@Comrade Mary: I’ve seen a very similar scene in Berlin. No matter how they try, the Canadian riot police will never be quite as scary.
frankdawg
Two Fat ladies is on “Cooking”
Deviled Kidneys . . . as a breakfast dish!
And some people say English food sucks :)
Yutsano
@schrodinger’s cat: The flavor palates among those areas blend together rather well. There’s a lot of cross-cultural food links that show up, especially with the Thais because they tended to explore beyond their borders even before European colonialism arrived. It’s one of the reasons why Thais have a rich tradition of curry, although they put their own spin on it.
That settles it: in my next life I’m coming back as a nutritional anthropologist.
@Litlebritdifrnt: I’d agree with you if it weren’t for the fact that lobsters are basically, well bugs. When I called them aquatic cockroaches I wasn’t being snarky, it’s pretty much what they are.
thejoz
@John Cole: That sounds like an elitist dinner to me.
Where was your arugula to complete that socialist nazi liberal marxist dinner, huh, Comrade?
demimondian
@Litlebritdifrnt: Killing arthropods is doing God’s work.
Corner Stone
@fucen tarmal: You have made me so happy. So freakin happy.
I think the scene where he’s tagging puppies with the price gun is just so perfect for this blog.
frankdawg
@fucen tarmal:
Danny Vermin
“I enjoy collecting protection money, putting whores to work, loan-sharking. I enjoy planting bombs in people’s cars. These are a few of my favorite things. ”
He really was a cork-soaking ice hole wasn’t he?
TaMara (BHF)
@Violet: Rosemary Lemon-Rhubarb Drink
@MikeJ: Geez, the people? That just be little ole me. ;-) With a little help from my friends…. Thank you, I’ll pass that on to my friend Alton who sent me the recipe (not that Alton).
Corner Stone
I am choking to death laughing.
TaMara (BHF)
@MikeJ: Nice! Should probably add that to the recipe, huh?
demimondian
@Yutsano: Actually, lobsters aren’t really aquatic cockroaches. They’re really more like…aquatic dung beetles.
MikeJ
@TaMara (BHF): There are too many of you involved and I didn’t want to leave anyone out.
Yutsano
@TaMara (BHF):
If only he were. Your coolness factor (which is already pretty high up there) would be jacked up by a factor of a thousand. Dear FSM I adore that man. Funny part is I hated his show at first, then it grew on me. Now I’m an addict.
@demimondian: Meh. Close enough. Killing a dung beetle probably wouldn’t bother me very much. Well maybe a little, cause truth be told they are kinda cool.
Nick
I regularly vacation in Downeast Maine. You’re lucky that lobster feeds just me when I go up there.
Mark S.
@2th&nayle:
Well fuck me, I thought it was on a table as well. Dear God that’s huge.
Michelle
altext = something ugly about Vietnamese females
No?
2th&nayle
Pardon my dumb, but what the hell is altext? I thought that was a brand of bad canned chili my dad used to buy to put on chili dogs!
TaMara (BHF)
@2th&nayle: OMG, he’s on the floor with the dog – I’d never have noticed if you hadn’t said it.
Revenge of the Nerds
Had to look it up.
RedKitten
I also thought it was on a table. That is one big jeezly lobster.
We actually had lobster tonight, too (My FIL owns a lobster pound). Ours weren’t as huge as that behemoth — I tend to not like them over 1 1/2 pounds, or the meat gets kind of tough, IMHO. A 10-pounder is great if you’re making a shitload of chowder, though. We also seared some scallops and had some shrimp. It was awesome.
The key is to boil them in salt water — from the actual ocean, if you’re on the coast. Otherwise, load up the sea salt into your regular water. It makes a marked difference if you’re on well water, and a WORLD of difference if you’re on city water.
And don’t listen to anybody who says that leaving the rubber bands on them makes the claws taste like rubber. That’s bullshit. They’re food-grade, and we’ve done blind taste tests on many an occasion and have found absolutely no difference whatsoever.
RedKitten
And actually, I don’t know why cleaning up would suck. It’d be a lot easier to clean up one 10-lb lobster than to clean up ten 1-lb lobsters, no?
Or, you could have just invited my mom down. By the time she was through with it, you’d be able to drink out of the shells, they’d be so clean. I’ve seen her spend 3 hours pick-pick-picking all of the meat out of a lobster body.
demimondian
@2th&nayle: Literally, the alternate text assigned to an HTML field. It’s particularly critical for accessibility, since a visually impaired person can’t see an image — but can hear the alt text read.
Although, as John has demonstrated today, the alt text need not be legible to a page reader.
Earl
Would you be alt-texting/freestyling a bit of nerd/revenge thereof?
fucen tarmal
@frankdawg:
yes a fahrging ice hole cork sucker.
TaMara (BHF)
@Comrade Mary: That was my first thought, as well.
hal
Wow. Suddenly lobster doesn’t sound so good. I always feel bad for the critters. Cooked alive in boiling water.
asiangrrlMN
@2th&nayle: Holy shit. I had the same impression you did. Man, that is one biiiiiiig lobster!
Michelle
@2th&nayle:
alt-text
Sorry for the typing problem.
Statement is the same: is the ALT -TEXT SOMETHING NEGATIVE ABOUT VIETNAMESE FEMALES?
Happy?
Yutsano
@Michelle: Objection: asked & answered:
demimondian
Tokyokie
Wow, that’s the same linoleum that we had in the family room of the house my family built back in 1959. Makes me a bit nostalgic. I grew up in that house and haven’t lived there in almost 40 years.
Violet
@MikeJ: @TaMara (BHF):
Thank you! That sounds delicious. Do you think I’d have to use the rosemary? Would it work without it?
TaMara (BHF)
@donnah: That was pretty funny. Too. Also.
fucen tarmal
@Corner Stone:
the fireworks, “looks like johnny’s getting laid”
TaMara (BHF)
@Violet: I think you start with the ingredients you like and then add something else you like – maybe mint? That’s how the best recipes are made (notice MikeJ added a healthy dose of adult beverage to his)
Corner Stone
@fucen tarmal: Yeah, that’s gold too. But given the specific blog host, I’m 100% sure the price gun tagging puppies scene is waaaaayyyy more appropo than the fireworks scene.
Yutsano
@Violet: I go with the Paula Deen rule of recipes: the first time you try one, follow the recipe exactly. Then the second time around you make whatever changes you feel like, excepting for food allergies and complete antipathies as necessary. I sell anchovies like mad, though, or better yet just lie by omission there.
sherifffruitfly
Well however small you easterners’ appetites may be, that all sounds yummy!
Violet
@Yutsano:
That’s my general rule too. Although with herbs and spices I usually adjust as I go along because there’s such variability between fresh, dried, and really old dried spices that have been on my shelf for far too long.
TaMara (BHF)
Okay when you embiggen the lobster photo, it looks like that lobster is giving John the evil eye and thinking, give me 2 seconds with the knife, blondie and I’ll show you who is going into the pot.
Michelle
@Yutsano:
Excuse recognized.
Everything remains the same.
Corner Stone
BTW – anyone missing Sarah McLachlan on Austin City Limits…you’re, um, missing it.
She has an amazing voice live.
Corner Stone
@Corner Stone: But I am not at all sold on “Duffy” from the UK.
Shell Goddamnit
I *love* that linoleum. Hope it’s in good shape & there’s no excuse to replace it. It would be tempting to build the decor around it – it gives me Ideas.
Yutsano
So I happen to be to at my parents for a very late night dinner (spaghetti, still not done yet) and I showed my mom the picture of the lobster. “Dear God, that’s HUGE!” I also told her about the crab recipe and she seemed very interested, and she’s about the only other one in my family who would eat something like that. I’m also getting numerous and frequent border collie kisses. I sooo don’t want to go to work tomorrow.
2th&nayle
@Yutsano:
You’re a very lucky duck Yuts!
Take that Anne Laurie!
asiangrrlMN
@Yutsano: That’s where you disappeared to! Remember, as your fake-wifey, I get communal dibs on any crustacean you cook.
2th&nayle
@demimondian: Thank you for the explaination demi! My computer skills are mostly self-taught and are fairly lacking. Thanks again.
@Michelle:
Michelle, ma belle, I wasn’t being snide or condescending in my question and the remark about bad chili was suppose to be self-deprecating and funny.
Never ascribe to malace that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Anne Laurie
@Litlebritdifrnt:
The New England Aquarium (Boston) has a nice collection of super-sized and odd-colored (red, white, blue, koi-calico) lobsters donated by local lobstermen. The guys on the boats know to save the “specials” for the Aquarium, which gives them a donor’s plaque in return.
I am with Yutsano, I do not eat the water-cockaroaches, but I am willing to admire them, especially the lapis-blue and white-with-red-gold-and-black spots models!
Anne Laurie
@2th&nayle: Yutsano’s border collie lives on a farm, where he can get the exercise he needs getting kicked by the horses. :) This is good for all parties, and I respect Yutsano for letting “his” BC live where he’ll be happy & healthy, even if that means not sharing an apartment right now!
Just in case I gave the wrong impression, I love & admire Border Collies… but I didn’t have the energy or discipline to live up to a Border Collie even 25 years ago when I started looking for my first dog. My Dog Guru (then & now) does border collie / aussie / sheltie rescue work, and I got to see up close & personal that bringing home a cute, smart, busy little BC puppy is just a bad idea for those of us who can’t give them the attention and exercise they need. There are dogs for all purposes (mine turned out to be papillons) but not really many “all purpose” dogs.
asiangrrlMN
@Anne Laurie: Yeah. Like, I love Rotties and GSD, but I know that there is no way in hell I would be able to give one the energy he would deserve. If I got a dog, it would have to be a low-key, mellow dog that was more into sitting and taking brisk walks but not runs around the neighborhood.
2th&nayle
@Anne Laurie: I agree wholeheartedly with everything you said. I live in what used to be considered the sticks (not so much anymore), so my dogs have plenty of room to romp and patrol and so forth. My closest neighbor has ducks and guineas (you haven’t lived till you see a cattle dog try to herd guineas) that range onto my property and they chase squirrels and rabbits and such (never known them to catch one), so there’s usually something to keep them busy when I’m otherwise occupied. And of course they love to ride in the truck. So much so that sometimes it’s a headache trying to get them OUT of the truck! My point being that I have a place where I can have a Border Collie where it doesn’t have to be kept inside or penned. I would not recommend having one in an apartment or a house where they have to be confined all the time. But if a person has a place, they are wonderful dogs to have.
Yutsano
@asiangrrlMN: Unfortunately no crustaceans got consumed, mostly because my father is allergic to all shellfish. So we stuck with plain old spaghetti and salad. Nothing fancy, but I did have a blast with my 14 year old Canadian second cousin. She’s down
playing with the horsesvisiting and my brother and I spent most of the evening expanding her brain. It turns out she knew who Stephen Hawking is without knowing him by name, so I thought that was actually pretty cool.@Anne Laurie:
My mother would rip you a new one if she heard you say that, then politely correct you by telling you she lives on a RANCH. I called it a farm once. Once.
asiangrrlMN
@Yutsano: Sounds like a good time was had by all. I like spaghetti, too. I’m just sayin’.
Yutsano
@asiangrrlMN: Not only is Danielle a hoot, it also gives my mom a feeling of not being so alone. It must be tough to live in a household of six and be the only female. I think that’s why we only had female dogs growing up. And the sketti was delish, I made a really tasty modification to mine by sticking on some stuffed Sicilian olives. Nom nom nom!
Jenn
Just a quick plea re. releasing lobsters into the wild. PLEASE don’t do it- the odds of you spreading something unhappy to the wild population are pretty high.
Kilkee
@Shell Goddamnit: That linoleum must have been the most popular pattern in the world. I have lived in at least three houses with it, I’ve seen it in multiple friends’ houses, all in New England. Apparently its popularity extended beyond New England.
Shell Goddamnit
Kilkee, I’m fifty years old and I don’t believe I’ve ever seen it before. Michigan, for the record.
Regional linoleum takes the place of regional accents – NOT a good trade.