This is sad:
Kaye Cowher, the wife of former Steelers football coach Bill Cowher, died Friday in her native North Carolina after losing a battle with skin cancer. She was 54.
They have three college age daughters.
Reader Interactions
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Face
Damn. I had no idea she was even in danger.
The NFL needs to make a monsterous donation in the direction of cancer research.
mr. whipple
Wow. Young.
frankdawg
I don’t mean to sound insensitive but so what? this happens every day to a thousand families you never heard of. You would not have heard of this tragedy if she was not married to a coach.
Yes, its sad to lose your mom or your wife too young but what makes this news worthy?
demimondian
@frankdawg: Nothing in itself. However, the prevalence of melanoma and its lethality is a significant threat to public health, so if this story convinces some other young sun-worshipper to wear sunscreen, and thus prevent a completely preventable cancer, it’s a good thing.
Violet
Wow. Skin cancer and so young. Sad.
Amanda in the South Bay
Donate money to cancer research? How about a dozen PSAs instead showing the danger of excessive sun exposure. Almost always preventable. Memo to women:in addition to a high risk of skin cancer, tanning prematurely ages your skin and makes it look like you’re a two pack a day smoker.
Punchy
@frankdawg: Not sure if you’re aware of this, but Cole’s a HUGE Steelers fan. That makes if newsworthy to him, on his blog.
taterstick
@frankdawg:
Jeezus, dude. Who pissed in your wheaties?
geg6
@frankdawg:
Well, as a Steeler fan and a Pittsburgher, it’s pretty big news. We remain affectionate toward the entire Cowher family, who all consider themselves natives of Pittsburgh with the exception of the Mrs. And even she professed to love it here. Pittsburghers are a big hearted bunch and the city and region will mourn and send its best wishes and sympathies to Coach Cowher and his lovely daughters who are athletic stars in the area in their own rights.
The publicity this gets locally has the added bonus of bringing information about skin cancer and its prevention into the discussion and that is never a bad thing.
frankdawg
@taterstick:
All the jock sniffing, sport worshiping members of society. This makes the news only because it happened to the wife of a coach – if Bill Cower were a Pittsburgh bus driver he would still be a widower with 3 kids & nobody here would whisper a peep about it because we would not have heard about it.
Its JC’s blog & I am well aware of his affection for the Steelers. I have no problem with this post in and of itself but if he plans on an obit section for people who die too young the blog is going to get pretty big.
The point of the post didn’t seem to be about awareness of a preventable cause of death but that this single death was sad. Yes it is but no more so because we heard about it.
Shalimar
In other sports news, today’s time trial in the Tour de France confused me with their gushing coverage of Contador and Schleck. Contador finished 35th overall and Scheck was even worse. They are the top 2 based on what they did in the mountains, not their rides today.
I don’t understand all of the “he gave his all out there today, it was a magnificent performance by both men blah blah blah”. Well, yeah, they obviously gave their all since first place overall was on the line. And it’s nice to know the winner. Still, if Contador and Schleck had magnificent performances, what about the 34 riders who were better?
Johnny B
I’m a huge football fan, and follow the sport carefully. When Cowher resigned from the Steelers, I heard it was to be closer to his college age daughters. I don’t remember anyone mentioning his ill wife. Very sad.
Eric U.
@Shalimar: It was a good time trial for both of them. I agree about the commentary though, one time Phil said, “you can see the effort on Shleck’s face, he’s giving his all,” when you couldn’t see his face and they hadn’t shown his face for minutes. I excuse some of that, they are working with the same feed as we are, so they have to seamlessly change subjects when the French director changes cameras. And a time trial is one of the most inherently boring races ever devised.
dan
@frankdawg: I’m with frankdawg for the reasons stated.
MoeLarryAndJesus
Hey, frankdawg, can you promise to post here if your mom or wife dies so I can waft a big SO WHAT in your general direction?
Seriously, you suck, dawg.
Come to think of it I’ve never seen a poster on any forum with “dawg” in his name who was worth a damn.
fucen tarmal
its very sad, and as a steeler fan i wonder how this rewrites the cowher legacy. its kind of amazing in and of itself that the family was able to keep this so secret. i wonder if this validates bill cowher’s decision to step down.
@frankdawg:
i’m sure you care about a lot of things a good number of people, perhaps even a majority of people don’t. i bet you have favorite musicians, authors, arts and craft bedazzlers, whatever…and i’m sure one could question the relevance of those interests. sports is a valid hobby.
personally, i have gone through a divorce and other things in life that have made music, books, movies, things that i loved, and still love with the benefit of distance intolerable, what is weird about that, football, as silly as you may think it is, is the one thing, that i never had a moment where i couldn’t stand it, i can’t say that of many other things…so for some it goes way deeper than “jock sniffing”.
besides, politically speaking, we can’t afford to write off “sports fans”m these are the very folks we need to convince our ideas are better, and many things from society, also play out in sports, so its a great place to perhaps open some minds.
Shalimar
@Eric U.: Yeah, I understand there are extenuating circumstances and they both rode well. The wind conditions apparently were much worse later in the day. And the course wasn’t suitable to Contador’s style in particular. I’m just saying Armstrong used to win time trials and just from memory Contador has been top 5 in a few of them in his previous tour victories, so it isn’t like this was some all-time great time trial for either of the top 2.
Next year should be interesting though, both of them seem to be way ahead of anyone else in the mountains so I’m looking forward to seeing if Schleck continues to improve and puts some distance between them or if it is this close again.
jharp
It certainly does suck.
But. I try to look at it this way. In her 54 years she most likely had more fun and joy and success than most of us can only dream of.
It’s more depressing to me when some nobody who never had any success passes.
Mike E
It’s big news here in Raleigh, which is still very much a small town at heart. I met the guy who (he claims) gave Cower that signature scar when they were students at State.
Quit trying to teach the rest of us a lesson about how we should “feel” or care about others or react to news–it’s emotional abuse. Try living in your own head instead, and resist playing the mind games. Or, better yet, start your own blog.
Lane
Word to the wise.
Malignant melanoma is a quick level to dieing.
Once the carcinoma is penetrating at 1+mm, yore a corpse. As others have said, use your sunscreen.
taterstick
@frankdawg:
“All the jock sniffing, sport worshiping members of society. ”
Not only is it okay for JC to point out on his own blog that someone he admires has passed away much too early from a preventable disease, it also serves as reminder to all of us to be more careful, and to continue to pound this idea into those who are younger – before it is too late.
I have no idea how that constitutes an excuse for you to point out to the whole BJ world that you are an asshole.
If you don’t like what you read here, why the fuck do you hang around? I could go into all the reasons why your first comment and everything thereafter are not only tone deaf, but narrow minded, condescending and sanctimonious. Instead, I will just point out that when you got up this morning, you were an asshole, and when you go to bed tonight, that will probably still be the case. Rinse, repeat…
Mister Papercut
@taterstick: I think we’ve hit upon a question that “Shut up, that’s why” can be a legit answer to.
stuckinred
@dan: Fuck both of you.
demimondian
@jharp: Breadth of experience? Absolutely — wealth allows one to experiment. Success? Maybe. Fun and joy? Almost certainly not. Perhaps prior to her final decline, she had less *suffering*, but almost certainly did not have more *fun*. Like all emotional responses, fun and joy are self scaling to the individual — the response is level set by your history and the neurobiological level.
stuckinred
Hey, Peterr at Firedog Lake has a post about a friend who killed himself. Why don’t you two assholes jump over there and tell him what you think?
MoeLarryAndJesus
@stuckinred:
They can’t, they’re down at the park pushing little kids out of swings and throwing rocks at ducks.
balconesfault
It’s about 3 years ago now that I walked into my living room with the shirt off and my wife looked at a mole on my chest and suggested I had it looked at.
I’m a guy, and in no real hurry to go to the doctors, but I was taking my daughter in to have a mole removed from her hand where it was constantly getting irritated by her gymnastics routines (mole + bars =/= good) and so I asked the derma to look at this thing on my chest and he took a look and said “schedule a visit – soon”.
Next visit, he biopsied it. In a few days I had word that it was a malignant melanoma, but only 2 mm thick. In a couple weeks I was in to have a bigger cut taken, but fortunately that one just showed that the first one got everything.
The melanoma had gone from not really visible at all to 2 mm in a very short time – my wife sees me shirtless a lot. At 6 mm, melanoma would have been into my lymphatic system, and at that point it’s off to the races, circulating through my body. All the kings horses and all the kings men would likely have not saved me at that point.
Who knows how long not paying attention would have been required to go from 2 mm to 6 mm? I’m glad I never found out.
This is, incidentally, one of the reasons I’m a hardcore universal healthcare advocate. I have great insurance, so it was an easy decision to go get the mole looked at. Had I been someone making $12 an hour, and worrying about the cost of a $100 derma visit, I might have put it off hoping it would go away or something. And a delay might have ended up requiring spending of tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands, in treatment – with worse results. Or rather, with futile results.
PurpleGirl
All of us will die some day. It is a human response to the loss of someone important to our lives to want to mark it how ever we can, to whom ever we choose. Ms. Cowher was human, a person with a circle of friends and admirers. Respect that JC wanted to mark this event, just being human as we all are. Just simple human respect and thoughtfulness.
The Dangerman
@stuckinred:
I’m with StuckinRed; fuck both of you.
So, someone posted an RIP that you didn’t give a shit about; here’s an idea, move the fuck along quietly and respectively. How exquisitely simple.
Assholes.
Chyron HR
@MoeLarryAndJesus:
The fact that people equate “my mother/wife died” with “my favorite football coach’s wife died” is kind of proving Frank’s point.
Stillwater
OT – Here’s something I’m curious about and was wondering what others think. Atrios, MattY, Krugman, and others are continually harping on the Fed and Congress for being so complacent in accepting high unemployment. But it isn’t accidental or simply an oversight on the parts of these institutions. It’s calculated. So the question I have is why are they doing this? Are the Fed and Congress simply invoking a form of passive austerity here, allowing high unemployment to drive down wages, benefit packages and (perhaps) future expenditures on Social Security? And if so, is this a structural decision based on some unstated fundamentals (eg, the labor force in the US is over-paid by a factor of X, etc.)? Are they (the Fed in particular) merely punishing Obama for passing reforms which are redistributive and regulatory, and therefore anti-big business? Is it something else?
skindoc
I am a Pittsburgh area dermatologist. My deepest sympathy to the Cowher family. Mrs. Cowher was well liked around these parts, and will be remembered fondly.
While not all cancer can be prevented, melanoma risk can be decreased by sun protection, self examinations, skin cancer screenings, and avoiding tanning beds. Melanoma is currently the second most common cancer in young women. If public awareness increases, at least some good has come from this tragedy. RIP, Mrs. Cowher.
We don’t have to know someone personally to be moved by their passing. “And man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind.” — John Donne
DBrown
Terrible and at such a young age – my neighbor (a woman I’ve know since childhood and she and her husband just recently built a new home across from my house) has been fighting ovarian cancer for the last five years and her chemo treatment the previous month failed – she will start the last known chemo drug (can hope it works) – she has decided that this is it and if she loses once again, it is time to let the disease run its course.
The whole episode has been a shock for me – the woman has been so upbeat and is ultra nice to everyone in the neighborhood – she goes out of her way to make the world a more pleasant place; it is just too difficult to accept. Our mortality never seems so near when those in our age range fight and lose (?) such life and death battles … between a brother and another near neighbor all losing their lives the last year it just seems so relentless; this only makes the obvious fact face that we all face that issue at some point so much more evident.
SixStringFanatic
@Chyron HR:
“The fact that people equate “my mother/wife died” with “my favorite football coach’s wife died” is kind of proving Frank’s point.”
No, it actually doesn’t. By relating the tragedy that has befallen someone with a small level of fame to their own lives, most of the people here are showing their humanity.
You and the other assholes are showing your distinct lack of said quality.
Calvin Jones and the 13th Apostle
Ask yourself this: Why then did Obama reappoint Bernanke? The other point you answered yourself. It’s obviously a form of passive austerity. The Fed just hopes that deflation doesn’t take hold too much. Or else they are screwed too. Deflation of wages, good(to “B-52” Ben). Deflation of prices, bad. After all, who gets hurt most because of deflation? The little guy.
moe99
We have no idea if Mrs. Cowher was a sun worshipper. It’s just like blaming folks, like myself, who have lung cancer, for the disease, and yet I am a nonsmoker. And speaking of lung cancer, it kills more women each year, than any other cancer.
http://moesmisadventures.blogspot.com/2010/07/thank-you-katie-couric.html
JITC
@frankdawg:
And how many people became aware of Parkinson’s disease because of Michael J. Fox? Or testicular cancer because of Lance Armstrong?
You are right that cancer, and melanoma in particular, affects thousands of people and families every year. But a little awareness is always a good thing and if that takes a celebrity or someone attached to popular sports then so be it.
I was diagnosed with melanoma last September. I’ve had multiple surgeries and seem to be cancer free for now (though I will have to be monitored closely for at least a decade) and have a debilitating condition in my legs as a result of the surgeries. But I’m lucky to be alive.
In researching melanoma and what’s involved, I was amazed at the resources and people out there, but totally dismayed by the lack of general awareness on sun safety and skin cancer prevention.
Because of celebs and others, there is huge prostate cancer, colon cancer and breast cancer awareness. That’s a good thing.
BTW, I have gotten excellent care for my melanoma because I live near the John Wayne Cancer Institute in Santa Monica, CA. I’m very grateful for that celebrity and his support of cancer research.
JWL
I’m a lifelong Niner fan, and but a year older than Kaye Cower. For whatever reason, I remember the television shot of her and her family celebrating in their box moments after the Steelers Super Bowl win. I suppose it’s because coach Cower had gotten so close so many times. I felt happy for them all. I’m sorry to hear of her passing.
John Cole
@frankdawg: All the things Geg6 said. Plus, she was sort of a trailblazing athlete in her own right- one of the first women in NC to be a scholarship athlete.
And not to mention, the Cowhers are good people. In a sport where money corrupts and you hear all these awful things people do, the Cowhers stand out for being good folks.
Finally, I don’t mention all the other people who die every day because A.) it would be a full time job and B.) I don’t know them and don’t give a shit.
wasabi gasp
If I had a nickel for every person that died, I wouldn’t have a clue how I’d give it to them.
When I’m pushing up daisies, let it not be from under a tombstone, but around a gumball machine instead.
frankdawg
Nobody said she was not a good person – nobody said JC shouldn’t post the notice – I’m sorry if you got that impression. But I am a bit tired of the adulation and attention placed on people because of silly games. And the irate reaction to my post does sorta support my point. If the point of the post was to highlight the danger of skin cancer I missed that being the point even after rereading the post.
My mom died two years ago, thanks for asking. My dad a couple of years before that. So what? People die every day for all sorts of reasons & nobody notices. That was my point what, other than your attachment to a billionaires team what makes this one special? I notice other than a fuck you or two nobody disagreed with my point that if Mr. Cower drove a bus this post would not have happened.
As for “dawg” that’s ironic – I am as far from a ‘dawg’ as it is possible to get.
frankdawg
@John Cole:
Sorry this got outta hand John – I have no problem with whatever you want to post. I wish you had focused more on her cause of death as opposed to a sports franchise, that all.
I harbor no ill will for all the fuck yous above – I even understand where you are coming from as my post does seem insensitive – I admitted that much when I made it.
gene108
@Mike E:
Glad to know Raleigh’s still not getting too big for its britches ;-)
The recent deaths of Kaye Cowher, former NCSU women’s basketball standout and Dennis Bird, former NCSU football standout, are the big news among NCSU sports blogs during this slow sports summer.
I don’t know what they put in the water at Reynolds, back in the day, but part of me wonders if it’s not just coincidence three former NCSU basketball coaches died of cancer and now Kaye.
Lisa Lee
To Frankdawg:
I feel sooo sorry for you. You are one pathetic soul. Your words will come back to haunt you some day, sooner than you may think.
fucen tarmal
@frankdawg:
if you want to carry your ridiculous point to its furthest absurdity, there is an excellent chance that your hypothetical bus driver was an asshole, who won’t be missed by the people he/she knows, much less the random throngs.
but hey if you care so much, start dedicating your life to publically memorializing random people. there are tons of opportunities all around you i’m sure to contribute.whether you like it or not, or how she became known, or not, kaye cowher was a known person. the relevance of the story, since you are pushing for there to be some, is that when bill cowher retired, it was to spend time with the wife and see their youngest daughter go through high school, many people can relate to that motivation, and wish they were gifted with the opportunity.
there is even the question of whether or not bill cowher will coach again, which many people were skeptical of his reasons for leaving the steelers. there are a couple of twists in how that story is rewritten in the public eye. people who were cynical as to his motivation, thinking he would sit out a while and take a high paying gig elsewhere in the league, now have something to think about. since you don’t know the back story, you don’t understand why this is news, or why its shocking, and how it may change people’s opinions of something they, if not you care about.
think of it this way, imagine your favorite bus driver was no longer driving your favorite route. suppose the scuttle but among the regular riders was the bus driver wanted to drive an express route in another neighborhood. then you find out later that your bus driver has a sick mother, and wanted a route that would end his day nearer to his rehab center? it would change things perhaps? if you were one of the more cynical riders to begin with, it might change your opinion a lot.
Stillwater
@Calvin Jones and the 13th Apostle: It’s obviously a form of passive austerity.
Yeah, I agree with that. But I also notice that there is silence from the Fed and others on this – no attempt to justify or account for it (or maybe I’ve just missed it). I mean, where are the austerity hawks arguing that this is a painful but necessary readjustment in the labor market? The silence emanating from the powers that be makes me think it’s just another instance of class warfare, but even if that’s true, there’s usually some lipservice paid to ideological or macro-economic principles. Not in this case. Just nothing.
JITC
FYI:
http://www.ewg.org/2010sunscreen/best-beach-sport-sunscreens/
drkrick
First, sympathy to her family and friends. Those who’ve been through it know this wasn’t an easy path. Now,
@frankdawg: Tip: any sentence that starts with “I don’t want to sound like X” is guaranteed to make you sound like X. Generally because if you weren’t X you wouldn’t want to say something so stupid you knew you had to try to excuse it in advance. The cheap rhetorical “I don’t want to sound like” feint isn’t enough to fool anyone brighter than Glenn Beck.
And you know, fuck you in general. Are you under the impression you’re in charge of making sure no one gets one ounce of sympathy more than they deserve this week? Because that’s a really obnoxious job, and you ought to turn it down next time.
Bill Cowher is a pretty well known person, well enough known that people know of and take some interest in his life and even know something about the rest of his family, including the daughters who just lost their mother at a pretty tough time. So whatever problem you have with people being interested in hearing about this, get over it. Just about nobody, including the Cowhers, get as much support as they could use at a time like this. Why begrudge them what they can get?
drkrick
Actually, it doesn’t. If you had posted something so mean-spirited about anybody John chose to memorialize, it would have gotten the same reaction from me – I’m no more of a Steelers fan than you are, “dawg.” Anybody who reacts to the news of someone’s death with “So what?” out loud needs to rethink. The fact that you say the same thing about your parents isn’t exculpatory, it’s symptomatic.
Tom
@frankdawg: Your a IDIOT. Go to hell.
Honus
@frankdawg: This is somebody we know and like, if only at a distance. The family is in pain and it causes the community sorrow. Yes, it would be more intense if it were someone closer, and hurt less if it were an anonymous person. It’s not jock worship; the reaction would be the same if Cowher were an author or musician or politician.
Cindy
Suffering, no matter who it is, how much money they have,
or their status is sad. I feel sad for all who have or are now suffering with disease.
Cindy
Suffering, no matter who it is, how much money they have,
or their status is sad. I feel sad for all who have or are now suffering with disease.
DEE
Melanoma is a monster. It is not totally preventable but yes, you can do things to lessen the chances of getting it. Education about the dangers of tanning beds and sun exposure should start at an early age.
Please visit melanoma.org and consider making a donation the the Melanoma Research Foundation. They are doing amazing things to draw awareness about melanoma.
RIP Kaye!