What he said:
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Best Leak Ever | ||||
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My stoner friends would never have had their shit together enough to go on a patrol. Unless it meant patrolling for Genessee beer and Camel lights hard pack and a pack of mallomars if there was any change left over.
Also, too. Fucked-up-edness is now a tag.
Mary G
Just saw the garden/pet thread, thanks.
joe from Lowell
That’s it. I’m off the bus. Seven years of Bush malingering in Afghanistan, and the mission is hopelessly compromised.
What’s the shortest definition of a “decent interval?”
Steeplejack
__
Think it only needs to be “fucked-up-ness.” Pretty sure the second “ed” is redundant. I believe Strunk and White covered this in Grammar on the Dark Side (1957).
Mnemosyne
@Steeplejack:
Nope, you need that extra “ed” in there. Say it out loud and you’ll see it’s a much punchier word with it than without.
ETA: The “ed” is actually it’s own syllable, so it’s pronounced more like “fucked-up-ed-ness.” Like that part in “The First Noel” where you sing that they “wake-ed up.”
Steeplejack
@Steeplejack:
Okay, watched the clip. Direct quote from Jon Stewart. I bow to history.
General Stuck
You gotta admit. That was one kickass bong.
Keith
Hmmm…most of my stoner friends are so accustomed to it, I would think they could get it done (although I wouldn’t personally be comfortable with them and a gun together). But the term “functional stoner” comes to mind.
Davis X. Machina
November 2011 for the bulk of the troops. By election day 2012, less than 5000 US uniformed personnel in country.
It’ll be Karzai’s fault — watch for negotiations behind or over him with other Afghan players. NATO is already ooching for the exits — Dutch government already fell over the issue.
sfinny
So if the Taliban fighters would also partake of the weed, we could just air drop munchies and leave? Our strategy should be to get all the insurgents to smoke pot and get Frito Lay a pentagon contract. Seems like a plan.
Morbo
Hey, it worked for the original assassins (maybe).
asiangrrlMN
@Steeplejack: There you are! Hiya. And, yes, the second ‘ed’ gives the phrase a much-needed oomph.
Hey, Stewart. Shave the face scraggle. kthxbai.
Yutsano
@asiangrrlMN: Agreed. Face fuzz is not flattering on him. I had the same reaction when Alton Brown tried it. Does. Not. Work.
@eemom: One of my favorites from college is “fuckitude”. As in “What sort of fuckitude is this?” during a major Charlie Foxtrot. Happened a lot during football games.
hamletta
@sfinny: I like the cut of your jib, sir.
What Doritos flavors do you suppose would rawk the Afghan palate?
Gravelly VO: Tired of barren caves? Kalishnikov jamming again?
Dude, you’ve got the munchies! You need some flavor! (Steve Vai riffs on Central Asian string instrument.)
Goat and yogurt Doritos! For gettin’ your jihad on!
eemom
Just a suggestion, but you may want to consider “fuckery,” also too or instead. We used to have great fun with that word back in the days of TRex.
“Fuckery most foul!”
“Fuckery most heinous!”
“What fuckery is this??”
Kinda flows off the tongue a little easier than fuckedupedness….
Steeplejack
@asiangrrlMN:
Was out of action for a while. WordPress started tossing my comments down the hole from early Sunday morning until Monday afternoon. Have no idea why, or how it got fixed. I would try to resend the comments, but I would get the “duplicate message” message, but they never showed up. FYWP.
Having said that, I have nothing to say.
IronyAbounds
@sfinny:
Hmmmm, very shrewd. Perhaps it’s time to corner the Doritos and Twinkies markets.
Also, ditto on the shave the stupid looking goatee. Not quite sure what Stewart is aiming for with that thing.
asiangrrlMN
@Steeplejack: Well, I am glad you are back again. I missed you, especially when Yutsy posted this video.
@Yutsano: Yeah. Some guys look distinguished and sexy with a beard; Jon just looks sloppy. I think it’s his baby face–a beard is just at odds with those chubby cheeks.
asiangrrlMN
@sfinny: How about Lays potato chips? No one can eat just one.
@hamletta: Now that’s just funny.
MikeJ
@eemom:
Television man is crazy saying we’re juvenile delinquent wrecks
sfinny
@hamletta:
Er, that would be a ms. rather than a sir, but otherwise nice to meet you. Also thanks for the ‘cat head in the bed’ story, makes me feel very thankful for the cat I have.
I fear my own favorite of spicy doritos would not suffice, must learn about local cultural requirements ( maybe the State Dept) for appropriate snack flavors.
sfinny
@IronyAbounds: I think twinkies are a bad idea. We already have to deal with items or substances we left behind. Please don’t add twinkie filling to the list.
AsiangrrlMN: If only Lays would do it. Lord knows we ccould probably blanket the entire country for less than a billion dollars, and a lot of people would probably be happier and less peckish.
Yutsano
@asiangrrlMN: Mmm…earworms. I suppose I should be grateful to Steep for that particular inspiration. It is kinda fun, even if the lyrics aren’t exactly uplifting. That and well, COWBELL!!
Did I mention tomorrow is my last day?
MikeJ
Local snack flavor: Chapli kebabs from peshawar beef. Mmmmm. Damn. I could use a late night kebab stand about now.
burnspbesq
@eemom:
There’s fuckery afoot.
Damn, I miss David.
Steeplejack
@asiangrrlMN:
Yutsy is recycling my hard-researched videos?! WTF?! Wait a minute . . . go-go dancers. Be right back.
ETA: What occasion did he have to dig this one out, and in which thread did he post it? I need context.
burnspbesq
@sfinny:
I say we airdrop a plane-load of Utz crab chips smack in the middle of Helmand Province. That’ll slow down their operational tempo.
burnspbesq
@Yutsano:
Good for you. What time does the consumption of alcohol start?
sfinny
@burnspbesq: Wait a minute, there are Utz crab chips? Where have I been? Can I get a bag before the operation sends them overseas?
Seriously, are there really crab chips and are they good?
Mnemosyne
@Yutsano:
I think Alton tried it when he gained 50 pounds from doing those road food specials and was trying to cover it up. Also known as the Al Gore Trick.
He actually did a really good show about how he lost the weight, though it doesn’t seem to come up in the rotation very often: “Live and Let Diet.” It’s the basic clean eating type of stuff, but entertainingly presented.
sfinny
@Yutsano: Don’t want to be intrusive but what does “last day” mean? Good, bad, or none of my business?
burnspbesq
@sfinny:
The Utz crab chip (a potato chip covered with Old Bay seasoning) is the reason God created the potato in the first place. Evocative of my misspent college summers – hot, humid nights on the Eastern Shore eating crabs and drinking Natty Bo while listening to O’s games.
Hard to find outside the Baltimore-Washington area. Maybe eemom can send you some.
asiangrrlMN
@Yutsano: Yup. I mentioned the countdown in the Tunchie thread. Remember, nekkid chandelier swinging tomorrow after your last shift.
@sfinny: “I must go terrorize–ooooooh sour cream and chive!”
@Steeplejack: Hell if I know. It’s when I mentioned that I missed you. I will see if I can find.
Found it. It was totally random, as is his wont.
asiangrrlMN
FYWPWAM-PPF,RIYE!
@Yutsano: Yup. I mentioned the countdown in the Tunchie thread. Remember, nekkid chandelier swinging tomorrow after your last shift.
@sfinny: “I must go terrorize–ooooooh sour cream and chive!”
P.S. Last day for Yutsano means, “Good-bye, bitchez. You did not appreciate me, so I found someone who did!”
asiangrrlMN
FYWP,MYDATTPDFPCAOYB!
@Steeplejack: Hell if I know. It’s when I mentioned that I missed you. I will see if I can find.
Found it. It was totally random, as is his wont.
Yutsano
@burnspbesq: Everyone has been asking me how much partying I’m going to do after I’m a free human. The fact is I’m going to SLEEP! Possibly for two days. Then decompress for a day or two, then go get fingerprinted (they called about a job perk today so I take that as a huge positive sign) then apartment hunt massively. The only reason why I’m not imbibing is because, well, I don’t.
@Mnemosyne: I saw that episode. I think his body weight went a bit too far in the other direction so he moderated his diet so he wouldn’t look like a chemotherapy patient. He did have some great advice there, also very easy to apply.
@sfinny: Last day of my current occupation, which I have learned to detest with the hot light of a thousand suns. I shall be departing and not returning regardless of the offer. The opportunity I’m going into is a much better situation.
Mark S.
Man, this place has been attracting some weird trolls lately. Not your garden variety Makewis and Benders, but guys who spend entire threads arguing that we, the B-J commentariat, are stifling their ability to read books they have no intention of ever reading.
The UFO thread was a little weird too.
sfinny
@burnspbesq: Ahh, the Old Bay chips. Luckily the fish place by my office (southern CT) has them and they are amazing.
Drew
@Yutsano:
Ya’ll are crazy… John looks awesome with the face scruff… although I did find it weird that he is growing it out in the summertime instead of during deer season…
Me? I have a full beard all year long… had it for 7+ years and wouldn’t change it… although it is getting Grizzly Adams-ish now, and needs a trim…
Drew
asiangrrlMN
@Mark S.: That’s pretty much why I stay out of certain threads. I am pretty much argued out on certain subjects (like I Q). Whatever. They can bite me (that’s my motto lately).
@Yutsano: I think sleeping and nekkid chandelier-swinging is a fine way to celebrate–though not at the same time.
Ailuridae
@Mark S.:
If a thread touches a certain portion of the blogosphere all kinds of nuttery comes out. On sports boards (my usual haunt) its when anyone points out that Kobe Bryant while very, very good isn’t a great player and certainly not the best in the game.
I’ll make a list some day of third rail blog issues that aren’t third rail issues to the population at large. Its not long …
Mnemosyne
@Yutsano:
In my experience, it’s actually pretty common for people to get overenthusiastic and lose too much on the first go-round. I think that’s the source of a lot of the “99 percent of the people who lose weight gain it back!” thing — people lose too far and regain 10 or 15 pounds to get back to a normal weight, but of course in our insane society that’s DIET FAIL!, not a normal readjustment. G lost over 60 pounds before we met and I’ve seen some scary pictures of him at his lowest before he regained 10 pounds to look like a normal person, not a skeleton.
(Full disclosure, I lost weight with Weight Watchers 5 years ago and I do work for them one day a week, so you can take my observations with a grain of salt.)
Yutsano
@Mark S.: Tim is a professional poutrager who seems to have some strange hard-on for John. Not sure if I get what his deal is, but he needs to get the fuck off my sexual orientation.
@asiangrrlMN: I could probably manage both. It might be less entertaining though.
Steeplejack
@asiangrrlMN:
Cool. It’s good to know that despite his tough exterior the yoot is allowing some of the old-school stuff to get through.
Thought about subjecting you to Dwight Yoakam doing “I Want You to Want Me” again but decided to go with this instead. Not exactly go-go dancers, although there are go-go-ish overtones, but it is the second-best song of the ’80s and a great video. And we were listening to their greatest hits as we hosed down the store tonight.
asiangrrlMN
@Steeplejack: You already subjected me to that Yoakam piece of crap, thankyewverymuch. B-52’s is MUCH better! And, Yutsy is a big ol’ softy!
@Yutsano: Agreed with your first sentiment. It seems he mostly comes to BJ to show how so very superior he is to everyone else. Kinda sad.
And, I actually think it would be VERY entertaining to watch you nekkid chandelier-swing whilst sleeping.
asiangrrlMN
And, Rob Paravonian who did The Pachelbel Rant (so true, as I can attest as a former cello player), did another one called Pushing Band Candy, which is also hilarious.
And, if FYWP actually lets me post a third link, this one is pretty amusing, too.
Steeplejack
@asiangrrlMN:
I did say “again.” I thought he did a great take on it. Can I make it up to you with some “Wild Angels”? If you don’t like this I will cleanse your palate with something I know you will like.
I’m in a country mood tonight.
asiangrrlMN
@Steeplejack: Yes, true. You did. I glossed over ‘again’, apparently. I like Marina McBride. Not only can she sing, she’s purty. But, let’s pretend I didn’t like it–I’m curious to see what you think you know I’d like.
Steeplejack
@asiangrrlMN:
This. Best if you kick it up to full-screen. Sigh.
asiangrrlMN
@Steeplejack: Yes, but that’s cheating because you posted this vid before and…be right back.
Yutsano
@asiangrrlMN: I did show you some Keith Urban that you enjoyed. But it’s dark as hell, so that may have had something to do with it. I’ve thought of suggesting a couple of Sugarland videos that run along the same vein.
burnspbesq
@asiangrrlMN:
Try this one. They sing like angels and they clean up nice, too. And, in case you didn’t know, they are sisters.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbaGWRBTrXk&feature=related
Yutsano
@burnspbesq: Heh. I saw what you did there.
Oh and to answer your much earlier question: the last three years. Not a real concern on my part, especially since they just check if I filed and there were no irregularities. Which there weren’t.
asiangrrlMN
@Yutsano: I like Sugarland. That one Urban song was decent.
@burnspbesq: At first, I didn’t like it. However, it grew on me as I listened.
@Steeplejack: Sade is so indescribably hot.
Steeplejack
@asiangrrlMN:
Okay. More Martina: “Independence Day.”
asiangrrlMN
@Steeplejack: Isn’t that the song about domestic abuse?
Steeplejack
@asiangrrlMN:
Amen to that.
Time for me to pack it in. Exhausted after working a long shift until 11:30 tonight. Fortunately I don’t have to go back until 4:30 tomorrow (Thursday).
Yutsano
@Steeplejack: Heh. That one I liked even before the Republicans try to co-opt it without learning what the song was actually about. I got a severe giggle from that.
@asiangrrlMN: Jennifer Nettles. ‘Nuff said.
And you is right about the theme of “Independence Day”. But the teatards just saw the title and ran with it. Dumbdonkeys.
asiangrrlMN
@Steeplejack: Night, hon. Sleep well. Thanks for reconnecting me with Martina McBride. I really dig her.
@Yutsano: She does another song about child abuse that is haunting. Martina McBride, I mean. It’s called Concrete Angel.
This is a Dream Academy song performed by Sugarland. The original is a guilty pleasure of mine.
Steeplejack
@asiangrrlMN, @Yutsano:
Yeah. That’s what’s so great about country music. Often lots of subversive stuff hidden in the down-home music and lyrics. Heh.
Irritated because I can’t find a good YouTube clip of Faith Hill’s ” Take Me as I Am.” Amazing song, from her great first album, before she went full-on plastic country diva. She even did a good cover of Janis Joplin’s “Piece of My Heart.” WTF?!
Okay, here it is. Awful, awful video, but the song is great. Feel free to mock the big-’80s hairdo and the himbo.
Actually, as I’m finishing up this comment and listening to the song, I realize it’s better to not look at the video at all. You were warned.
. . . If you need a palate-cleansing sorbet after that, here’s Pauline Croze’s “Tita.” Definitely not country. Well, not this country, anyway. But good.
P.S. God, that Faith Hill video is awful. It almost makes me hate that song, and I love that song. Ngrr! But it’s the only good audio clip of it I could find. Damn you, YouTube!
asiangrrlMN
All right. I think I’m bailing early. Night all (Yutsy). Good luck with your last day.
Steeplejack
@Steeplejack:
WTF?! I got moderated. And without even mentioning sociaIism.
I posted an awful (awful!–don’t watch) video of a great Faith Hill song. Maybe that was the reason.
Shorter version:
Faith Hill, “Take Me as I Am.”
Pauline Croze, “Tita.”
Hopefully my previous comment with full commentary will emerge from the shadows at some point.
bago
@eemom: Fuckery can have a positive connotation. Example: That girl knows her fuckery.
When things are fucked up, you’re swearing to emphasize that this is not normal failure, this is failure failure. Like “That WAS my friend” levels of failures. The kind of failures that have body counts.
Proper Gander
Oddly enough, I find that the experience gained on patrol is invaluable when public, either intoxicated or urinating. Lessons on how to avoid eyes (I once had an opfor person step over me and continue on without a backward glance, and another urinated less than two feet away from me and never knew I was there), how to explain my way out of situations (experience talking to one’s higher-ranking NCO’s is more than helpful). That is, if one considers not getting a public intox ticket as anywhere nearly as invaluable as retaining one’s capacity to breathe.
Someone out there gotta know what I mean.
JGabriel
Whatever happened to fuckery ? It’s much less awkward.
Edited to add: Ah, I see eemom got there first. Consider this as seconding her comments.
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JGabriel
@Mnemosyne:
Right. We Juicers are far more likely to shoot Christmas carollers on sight. In fact, I hear that’s legal in Texas if they’re trespassing on your property.
(Admittedly, the only key I can sing in is off, so there may be a smidgen of sour grapes here…)
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JGabriel
MikeJ: eemom is referring to former Firedoglake* front-pager TRex. I wonder what he’s up to these days.
(*Yeah, I used to be an FDL regular, but moved over here when FDL went from a plain blog layout to the more “liberal internet portal” layout it has now; it just didn’t feel as cozy anymore.)
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mds
Now I understand why there’s a Rochester cohort on the blog staff: the proprietor’s fond childhood memories of Genesee beer. “Genny Light. It’s not just inexpensive, it’s … Well, no, that’s pretty much it.”
Tax Analyst
@Steeplejack:
It appears this has happened to me as well. All I did was try to post some alternative versions of the “fuck____” expression. Perhaps there is some sort of black hole or alien life-form sucking up random BJ posting attempts this morning, trying to decipher the inner workings of earth-human minds. Well, they’re barking up the wrong tree here, for they surely won’t make any sense out of mine.
frosty
@sfinny:
OMG good! Utz chips from Hanover PA dusted with Old Bay seasoning from Baltimore. Sorry ’bout that, rest of the USA, we’ve done gone to snack food heaven here in the Land of Pleasant Living.
PS Old Bay and tomato juice = Perfect Bloody Mary
PPS Wikipedia sez Utz used Old Bay “analogue” and Herr used the real thing. I haz a sad.
Xolotl (Aztec and Toltec mythology)
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