Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

“More of this”, i said to the dog.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

… pundit janitors mopping up after the GOP

Being the leader of the world means to be the leader of peace.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

The republican caucus is already covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

Conservatism: there are some people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

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56Comments

  1. 1.

    Svensker

    Pedicure AND baby shower? For “Lurch” you’re really doing quite the metro, ain’t ya?

    Tunch looks very cozy and cuddly. Nice.

  3. 3.

    Yutsano

    He’s found his way into the spare his bedroom again.

    Fixeth. And hopefully before the other clever folks beat me to it.

  6. 6.

    Mark S.

    And then off to a fictional Muslim country with Carrie and the girls for some fun and romance!

  8. 8.

    Corner Stone

    @Mark S.: Ooooo…ouch. That’s going to leave a mark.

    I’m saddened that somehow I know exactly what you are referring to.

  10. 10.

    General Stuck

    Off to a baby shower, of all things

    Jeebus, just pathetic. Gender rules of engagement clearly state that to attend a (cough) baby shower, teh male victim needs to be dragged kicking and screaming by a woman from unspoken but understood pain of being denied nookie from said woman. Marriage is the usual scenario for this rule, but doesn’t have to be.

    The only excuse for breaking this rule is acquired intelligence that unnattached females will be present in a loose state.

    It’s all right there in the brochure.

  12. 12.

    Corner Stone

    For anyone who needs to re-masculate themselves, Road House is on at 7:00pm CT on KTBU channel 55.

  13. 13.

    Corner Stone

    @Yutsano: Oh, the sidebar is poof alright. It’s so much poof it almost equals the poof of the pedicure thread + this one combined.
    But not quite.

  14. 14.

    Cat Lady

    What does John Cole Famous Blogger bring as a gift to a baby shower?

    And be prepared to say “ooooooohhhhhh, cute!” and “aaaahhhhhh, sooooooo cute!” and “mmmmmhhhhhooooo, so cute!” a hundred freakin’ times. Also.

  15. 15.

    Bella Q

    In case you missed it from an earlier Open Thread:

    It’s a harmless frippery, you sad grumpy fuck.

    As Svensker noted, that’s a delightful sentence. TattooSydney tells tim off, succinctly!

  16. 16.

    Texas Dem

    I saw the movie Agora this afternoon, which is a thoroughly depressing tale about a late fourth century female Roman mathematician and philosopher, Hypatia, who was brutally murdered by a mob of Christian fanatics. Oh yes, they also looted and destroyed the surviving remnants of the Library of Alexandria (the original was accidentally destroyed by Caesar). Amazing how little progress we’ve made in two thousand years.

  17. 17.

    Yutsano

    @Bella Q: That’s my FH #1. Never been prouder of anything he’s written. And I am so using frippery the next time I play Scrabble.

  18. 18.

    Comrade Mary

    Tunch is just displaying his unerring aesthetic sense: partly orange cat against soft blue-green = WIN.

  19. 19.

    Keith G

    @Corner Stone:

    I am beginning to think Cole’s shoulder injury was actually due to a fall caused by a dangerous combination of appletinis and Manolo Stilettos.

    Oh the humanity!

  20. 20.

    The next to last samurai

    I wish I were there. It has been a long time since I had the fun of watching a man squirm his way through a baby shower.

  21. 21.

    You Don't Say

    I think you should give up calling it a spare bedroom — it’s Tunch’s bedroom.

  22. 22.

    Corner Stone

    @Keith G: Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
    I have never been to a baby shower, not even for my own child. Not because I’m some testosterone hump but because it’s custom to have all the guys gather at the local brew pub, have pub-grub or pizza, micro-brews and watch whatever was on the big screen while others do whatever it is they do.
    Honestly, and with no malice, I can not envision a scenario where a single, childless male goes to a baby shower. Even for his sister, or favorite cousin, or best friend in college.
    My ex has 32 cousins that are within a similar range of her age. Neither her brother, nor any of the male cousins were invited to the baby shower.
    Just sayin’.

  23. 23.

    RedKitten

    Poor John — why do you even tell us this stuff? You know you’re going to get tormented. Hell, I even squirm through baby showers, and I’m a woman…with a baby!

    The worst one I went to was for my husband’s cousin. Not that it was BAD, just that it was really, really long. Her husband’s mother is one of thirteen kids. It wasn’t even a co-ed shower, but with all of the womenfolk invited, there were still over 80 people there.

    I managed to get out of having one of those…H1N1 was going around at the time, and so we decided to limit gatherings. Then once SamKitten was born, people just dropped off gifts individually, basically eliminating the need for a shower.

  25. 25.

    harlana peppper

    The thing about baby showers is, if you’ve never had a kid, you will see all kinds of gadgets you have no idea what they’re for. Crib pads that glow and levitate, strollers that fly, etc.

  27. 27.

    debit

    @Corner Stone: I actually wish I had been able to get to my camera in time. It was hysterically funny and also entirely predicable. Put something on the floor large enough to contain a cat and a cat will get in.

  28. 28.

    tesslibrarian

    Tunch looks so wonderfully plush. You can tell he’s a man who enjoys his air conditioning.

  30. 30.

    D-Chance.

    Shopping? Pedicure? Baby shower???

    So, when IS your scheduled orchiectomy, anyway?

  31. 31.

    debit

    @Yutsano: They were exceptional cucumbers. My daughter kept kept stealing them and eating ’em raw.

    I can’t say much about the market on Lyndale, but the one by Mill City is really wonderful. Better parking, nicer vendors, cooler crowd.

  32. 32.

    Yutsano

    @debit: I plan on doing some scrounging for farmer’s markets when I’m moved over to the new digs. Of course I’ll always have Pike Place handy should I decide to venture up that way.

  34. 34.

    farmette

    Tunch definitely looks good in/on pastel colors. They soften his profile and attitude.

  35. 35.

    Svensker

    @Corner Stone:

    For anyone who needs to re-masculate themselves, Road House is on at 7:00pm CT on KTBU channel 55.

    God, I love that movie. Pain don’t hurt. And the whole concept of the best damn bouncer in the world…. Ay yai yai.

  37. 37.

    Corner Stone

    @Svensker: I just love the idea that random bar drunks would know him by name.
    Like when it’s announced, “The name is Dalton” the hot boobed blonde focuses on him like he’s her dream lay.
    The whole thing is so full of awesomesauce.
    Patrick Swayze – Red Dawn, North and South, Youngblood, Dirty Dancing, Road House, Ghost, Point Break, To Wong Foo.
    There’s an argument here for America’s greatest modern actor.

  39. 39.

    tom p

    A baby shower????

    John I hope you have a tight hold of your “man card”… somebody may try to revoke it. Your only hope is to get truly sloppy drunk on tequila, talk about nothing but football and lear at every woman there.

  42. 42.

    Corner Stone

    @Keith G: You have another modern nominee?

    ETA – and it’s “pitchers” of screwdrivers. Who would waste their time having one?

  45. 45.

    Yutsano

    @Tattoosydney: I suspect Timmeh didn’t get a lot of things in his youth. Call it a feeling but I’m getting a vibe about his background, and it ain’t a pretty one.

  47. 47.

    The next to last samurai

    Eureka! I have it! The fat man only looks fat. He is actually pregnant. This is the real reason he attended the baby shower on his own, without a woman having to drag him in by force.

  48. 48.

    Steeplejack

    @General Stuck:

    You just need to know how to throw the right kind of baby shower. I once hosted a baby shower that ended at 3:00 a.m. and was talked about for months afterwards. There is no party situation that cannot be handled by throwing alcohol, music and good food at it.

  53. 53.

    asiangrrlMN

    I knew Cole would post a Tunchie pic in my absence #stomps angrily around the blog#. Why do you hate me so, Cole?

    Oh, and baby showers? Sucky. Except for the one I threw for my best friend. That one was the awesome because there were no stupid shower games, and I got to design the invitation.

  54. 54.

    HyperIon

    aren’t I?

    I will never understand how that can be accepted as grammatically correct (but it is according to editor friends).

    I guess if you said “am I not?”, EVERYBODY would accuse you of being gay. ;=)

  55. 55.

    Corner Stone

    @The next to last samurai:

    he attended the baby shower on his own, without a woman having to drag him in by force.

    Honestly. Some more context about how/why this happened is in order I think.
    I’m right, am I not?

Comments are closed.