Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

Celebrate the fucking wins.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

He seems like a smart guy, but JFC, what a dick!

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Sometimes the world just tells you your cat is here.

Those who are easily outraged are easily manipulated.

Mediocre white men think RFK Jr’s pathetic midlife crisis is inspirational. The bar is set so low for them, it’s subterranean.

I’m starting to think Jesus may have made a mistake saving people with no questions asked.

Republicans cannot even be trusted with their own money.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

Dumb motherfuckers cannot understand a consequence that most 4 year olds have fully sorted out.

Donald Trump found guilty as fuck – May 30, 2024!

I like political parties that aren’t owned by foreign adversaries.

The media handbook says “controversial” is the most negative description that can be used for a Republican.

The republican ‘Pastor’ of the House is an odious authoritarian little creep.

At some point, the ability to learn is a factor of character, not IQ.

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

DeSantis transforming Florida into 1930s Germany with gators and theme parks.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

The “burn-it-down” people are good with that until they become part of the kindling.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / First, They Came for the Squeaky Curds, and I Didn’t Speak Up

First, They Came for the Squeaky Curds, and I Didn’t Speak Up

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Another successful night out on the town in the People’s Republic of Madison, where my revelry was not only not impeded, but enhanced by the actions of union janitors and cab drivers. Apparently the people of the PRM are so sated by good beer, great music, fatty foods, and the young legs of nubile Badger co-eds that they fail to recognize the leftist oppression that dominates their daily lives. One of these days, they will look at the clean streets, the bicycle lanes, the ample sidewalks, the busty young blonde women who say “OTE” instead of “out,” the plentiful park benches and wide variety of vendor food, and realize that they are living in a modern hellhole.

Until then, I’m going to keep enjoying this place and their odd customs, which include being polite, helpful, and courteous to strangers and engaging in light yet friendly conversation with said strangers.

Like I said, these Wisconsin fuckers are weird. I have a presentation to attend in a few hours (6!), so wish me luck.

Also, too, the Onion started in Madison. I count that as a win.

Reader Interactions

52Comments

  1. 1.

    Ms.B

    For years after moving to Hawaii, I had an Escape to Wisconsin bumper sticker on my car.

    And Madison was a huge reason.

    So, a nostalgic Yes, with some deep-fried cheese curds and memories of the Chain-O-Lakes during thunderstorms on top.

  2. 2.

    MadLurker

    Shhh… it’s been great seeing all of the Madtown love here on BJ for the last couple of days, but a lot of us like being lower profile than the Portlands and Austins out there. Anyways, we need to keep our plotting to spread the food, beer, music and the insidious politics that go with them across the land a little bit under the radar.

    You absolutely need to hit the Union Terrace later today, after a beer at the Old Fashioned and a slice at Ian’s. If you’re up by the Capitol and need to take a bar break during the day, Genna’s is your place. And if you’re sticking around through Saturday, you can’t miss the counterclockwise shuffle around the Square at our biggest farmers’ market. The shopping is better pre-8 a.m., but the weirdness will be in full flower come mid-morning.

  3. 3.

    Warren Terra

    Not only did the Onion start in Madison, the print edition is still to be had free in newspaper boxes.

  6. 6.

    Christian Sieber

    Posts like this are the best part about this site. Wisconsin is in fact awesome if you can get past the death-dealingly muggy summers.

  7. 7.

    Zam

    I hope you grabbed a copy of the onion rather than just played homage to it. After that liberal imperative you need to find yourself some good cheese curds which if you find yourself north of madtown are as easy to grab as a flower in springtime.

  8. 8.

    Zam

    Also we are not weird, all of us who have lived here for most of our lives are used to presentations in a “hungover” state. Not just attending them but giving them.

  9. 9.

    drunken hausfrau

    Did anyone tell you about the ice cream? Go to the Babcock Hall Dairy Store on campus. Thank me later.

  19. 19.

    Lee Hartmann

    Glad you are enjoying it. My grad school days there were some of the happiest of my life.

    I believe the Student Union was the first in the country to serve beer.

  20. 20.

    S. cerevisiae

    I was seriously considering UW for grad school and seeing these reports makes me wish I had looked closer. Oh well, I will have to console myself with the great beer in Oregon.

  21. 21.

    Kristine

    I’m wondering if John has taken a look at Madison-area real estate ads. Just in passing. Just to compare.

    This sounds like lurve to me…which I understand completely. Madison is on my short list of retirement possibilities.

  23. 23.

    shortstop

    Always remember: you’re on an isthmus.

    I just like to say that sentence out loud. I also have always liked Madison. A lot. Could be time for another road trip from Chicago for a long weekend, since you guys are reminding me of all the good old places.

    But minor quibble: Can we now stop saying “coed,” given that this word gained popularity in, IIRC, the nineteen-freaking-twenties as a point-and-marvel description of the new phenomenon of having more than a handful of women on previously all-male campuses? In this case, I realize there was no other replacement word that wouldn’t have interfered with the tightly written beauty of your sentence, but in general, I wish we could lose this term.

  24. 24.

    buckyblue

    Hit the “Great Dane”, a microbrewery/eatery with pool tables and such off the square. Outstanding beer, get the pilsner, the best I’ve ever had. If Budweiser had made it like this, there would have been no need for anything else.

  27. 27.

    capitalsfn

    I’d also recommend Bluephies, down Monroe street a mile past Camp Randall. If only for the cookie dough egg rolls.

  28. 28.

    Mumphrey

    Jeez, liberals are so clueless they don’t even know they’re being oppressed by the islamo-fascist-communist-nazi-atheist-socialists in the White House and Commiegress, they think they’re happy!

    Wake up, you aren’t having a good time, you’re wretched! And you’re too dumb to take satisfaction in your victimhood at the hands of the black/gay power structure. Damn liberals…

  29. 29.

    Matt

    The PRM sounds nice now, but I advise avoiding it on football saturday’s, particularly if you happen to be wearing the insignia of the visiting educational institution. That’s when the jack booted thugs come out and the opression begins in earnest.

  30. 30.

    TaosJohn

    Lucky you. I’m in Austin visiting my dying sister. I realize that colors my perceptions, but what they’ve done to this place in the last 40 years is absolutely criminal. I almost drove off the road and cried coming in on Rt. 71. Texas needs to be cosmically drawn & quartered. I can say that because I’m a fucking NATIVE Texan.

    I remember clear running streams back East when I was a child, too. It’s a goddamn crippling shame & heartbreak, growing old in America. Pretty soon most of us will die from lack of medical care that’s too expensive, if the pollution doesn’t get us first. Those nubile legs have not the slightest inkling of what’s in store for them.

    BALANCE! I need BALANCE! Which is why I’m fleeing back to Taos as soon as I can. Temperature there this morning is a nippy 50° F. It will be over 100 here today.

  31. 31.

    buckyblue

    Those of us in the Badger State would also be remiss not to mention our non-existent lax drunk driving laws. The worst in the country even after a recent bump by the legislature. So, feel free to imbibe with the great local brew, get in a car and see the sites, then have some more. At worst, you might get a ticket.

  33. 33.

    Allan

    Repeating myself from the last Madison thread, where it was completely ignored:

    No one has mentioned Clasen’s European Bakery yet?

    It’s also in Middleton, so when you obey the demands of your readers that you visit Capital Brewery, you can stop by and eat pastry and buttercream until you explode. The Mozart Torte is a favorite of mine, as is anything they do with almond paste/marzipan.

  34. 34.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Well, that didn’t take long

    Ouch, that’s gotta hurt. When you are too out-there even for breitburnt, where ya gonna go? It’s like being uninvited to the Klan rally because you might cause people to talk and we can’t have that.

  35. 35.

    Gus

    @debit: Upper Midwestern winters are marathons, and spending a few days there when you know you’ll escape soon doesn’t give you the real flavor. You need to spend the whole winter to understand how the cumulative effect of cold, snow and short days grinds you down. God, I’m dreading winter and we haven’t even hit Labor Day.

  36. 36.

    eyepaddle

    I no that no one asked, but for the record fried (cheddar) cheese curds blow mozzarella sticks so far out the water they often make it into orbit–where they still manage to be bland.

  38. 38.

    demimondian

    @buckyblue: Which is ironic, since MADD got its start after a particularly horrific traffic accident on the 1000 block of University Ave. in Madison, Wisconsin. In 1981.

    Which still gives me flashbacks — I witnessed it.

  39. 39.

    Sue

    ‘Until then, I’m going to keep enjoying this place and their odd customs, which include being polite, helpful, and courteous to strangers and engaging in light yet friendly conversation with said strangers.’
    Yeah, that’s Wisconsin, otherwise known as “South-Canada-on-Superior”.
    If you want to see ugly Wisconsinite behavior, mention either “Chicago Bears” or “Minnesota Vikings”, then sit back for an hour or two.

  40. 40.

    martha

    @Sue: Or the Ohio State Buckeyes or the Michigan Wolverines…just sayin’ :)

    Or, Brett Favre, these days. But we’ve had so much fun with his wafflin’ these days, it’s like shooting fish for fish fry. Those poor Minnesotans…(well, not really).

  41. 41.

    Jon O.

    Where were you at in Madison? My band was actually playing the Union Terrace last night. Such a wonderful town.

  42. 42.

    Cain

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Luck with the presentation. Much of what you describe about life in Madison can be found in MN, too. I’m just sayin’.

    Yeah, same in Portland. Although sans the nubile leggy blondes. More body art and piercings :)

    cain

  43. 43.

    REN

    Try Northern Wi. sometime. Especially if you like forests, lakes, streams and waterfalls. Not to mention the world’s biggest lake, the inland sea called Lake Superior,a body of water of endless beauty. I love to watch peoples faces when they attempt their first swim in the big lake. Blue lips are not complimentary on everyone.

    Northern Wi. is a completely different world than Southern Wi. It’s cooler in summer and colder and snowier in winter. Our rep as the Dairy state does not come from this half of the state. It’s not farm country, it’s tree country. Rivers here flow east and north not south and west. If you seek out nature for your adventures you will find it here.

  44. 44.

    Naja

    Skip Ian’s and hit Roman Candle for your slice.

    My sister was a pastry chef at Clasen’s for a million years.

  45. 45.

    Sammy

    Two places I can’t imagine living: a college town or a state capital. In Madison you get the worst of both worlds.

  46. 46.

    demimondian

    @Kristine: Heh.

    My sense is that John loves WV more than is evident. It’s his home, in a very deep sense, and, for all its flaws, is, I suspect, the place he’ll always come back to.

  47. 47.

    asiangrrlMN

    @TaosJohn: Sorry to hear about your sister. Glad you get to spend time with her.

    @Cain: I assume you’re talking Oregon? I love that city. It’s just like Minneapolis, substituting rain for snow.

    @debit: My favorite month! Seriously. I am contemplating hibernating until winter.

  49. 49.

    demimondian

    @debit: Or, perhaps, from November to April. Really, there’s snow on the ground for six months out of the year there, and the wind off the lakes *howls*. I once pulled my glasses off my face after a walk, and took a small piece of each of my ears with them.

  50. 50.

    shortstop

    @REN: Nice comment. I love hiking and birding in northern Wisconsin (in the summertime–the first time I visited the Apostles in September and had to wear a winter coat, I swore off visits after Labor Day and before mid-June). My husband’s great-grandpa was a logger up there way back when.

  52. 52.

    Sue

    Ren: you sly thing, making it sound so nice and neglecting to mention the deerflies… or tick season… or those few weeks of insanity in November…
    All that and you’re STILL right.

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