Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

This really is a full service blog.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

When do the post office & the dmv weigh in on the wuhan virus?

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

An almost top 10,000 blog!

Infrastructure week. at last.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

You can’t love your country only when you win.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Tick tock motherfuckers!

Accountability, motherfuckers.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Let’s finish the job.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

A lot of Dems talk about what the media tells them to talk about. Not helpful.

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Reader Interactions

115Comments

  8. 8.

    Felanius Kootea (formerly Salt and freshly ground black people)

    @stuckinred: He just proved that he’s a Moosleem. Somewhere a Republican watched that and had a seizure.

  10. 10.

    demo woman

    When Republicans talk about political correctness to me, I ask them what’s the difference between common decency and political correctness? After stumbling around a bit trying to justify their ignorance, I simply say that I was taught different values when I was growing up.

  14. 14.

    beltane

    I’m listening to a radio station on iTunes and the DJ just told people that if they don’t vote for Barack Obama in November they’re not cool. Hopefully OFA will get the message out that Barack Obama is not on the ballot, but that not voting for Democrats is the most uncool thing ever.

  15. 15.

    soonergrunt

    @beltane: Like all conservatives, her pain for 9/11 is only for show, because for all other reasons, and at all other times, they fucking hate NYC. I’ve actually read comment posts at places like Free Republic and Red State that said that it was primarily rich liberals that got killed so there was a good aspect to it.
    Oh, yeah:

    Sarah Palin has already tweeted an incoherent response to this

    Birds gotta fly, fish gotta swim, water is wet, and so on.

  17. 17.

    scav

    @soonergrunt: Get well sooner(grunt) rather than later and I can’t resist easy ones either. Masses of vicious jackals can get quite protective of their pack-mates and I’m sure some kind of snarling snuggle can be cobbled together quite quickly.

  18. 18.

    morzer

    @beltane:

    I think she means “Lingerie pain”. It’s a common side effect of having one’s panties in a bunch and one’s head up one’s ass.

  20. 20.

    Galileo

    John’s got it going on tonight – for me, steak fajitas and guac, frijoles pintos (with the fresh chopped onions and cilantro, of course), and well – to break the theme, Sierra Nevada pale ale.

    But a vodka martini ( w/ anchoivy-stuffed olives) first never hurt!

    g

  21. 21.

    WereBear

    Happy Party to our host.

    I am being haunted by shopping carts. Googled around, bought one at our local Ace Hardware, it collapsed the first time time I used it, at least I got my money back, but all the googling means I come here, and Overstock is pushing shopping carts at me. And they are all made in China.

    So much for trying to make algore happy.

  22. 22.

    Hal

    If you all need a drinking game tonight, go to huffpo, read the comments section under the story about Obama backing the Times Square Mosque, and take a swig everytime someone in the comments section says; “Of he backs it. He’s a Muslim!”

    Double shots every time someone spells Mosque or Muslim correctly.

  23. 23.

    Jim Newell

    @beltane: Ha ha ha, it is now the “9/11 mosque.” Muslims will go to 9/11 five times a day to prayer to 9/11. Sarah Palin will be in Alaska, feeling 9/11 pain.

    Meanwhile, I’m checking out some “True Progressive Blogs” out there to see what comes next: a nice post about Obama’s speech, or another take on Robert Gibbs being mean. I’m putting my money on… a few flat words acknowledging Obama’s speech followed by 20 paragraphs on how he doesn’t *really* believe it, which is why he’s doing it Friday night like a pussy, the fucking corporatist asshole fraud monster.

    Anyway, hello.

  27. 27.

    jacy

    Geez, Cole, for a cantankerous bastard, you sure do attend an awful lot of goddam parties.

    Request: you BJers are a well-read, brilliant bunch. I’m working on something new. Can anyone at all recommend books, especially mystery/crime but also history/local color, set in Westchester County, New York?

    @Hal:

    I vote for a triple shot every time you see the word “Muslin.”

  28. 28.

    Cat Lady

    @beltane:

    Shouldn’t someone clever on the radio or TV put a mash up of the Goehmert terror babies rant next to Anthony Weiner’s “the gentleman is correct in sitting down” rant to go viral? If the choice is the righteous v. teh crazee, wouldn’t it all be clear? Crazy talk, I know.

  29. 29.

    RedKitten

    Man, it’s hard to believe that at this time last year, I was almost getting ready to push, and you guys were all anxiously pacing the virtual floor.

  32. 32.

    Roger Moore

    @Hal:
    He’d better keep it to a sip. I don’t want our host dying of alcohol poisoning. And it needs to be something weak if he’s going to be in any shape to work on his Terror Baby.

  37. 37.

    Keith G

    @Ben JB:

    what do y’all cook when camping?

    Marinaded feline.

    @soonergrunt:

    1) I always read what you type – and often agree

    2) I will sent the very best vibes I can incant

    3) When you get the “Everything will be fine” from the doc, do not celebrate by flying to an Alaskan fishing lodge.

  38. 38.

    Violet

    @Ben JB:
    Car camping or backpacking? Car camping depends on weather, if I’ve got a cooler and ice, and if there’s a fire pit or BBQ. Steaks on grill, potatoes or sweet potatoes in foil in firepit, salad maybe. Would use the stove for coffee and maybe oatmeal if it’s cold in the morning. Maybe eggs and bacon.

    If backpacking, then I usually get a pasta kit from the supermarket, like Knorr brand. They’re easy to make and you don’t have to have the milk they call for; you can substitute water. I usually backpack where there are bears, so very little mess and cleanup is essential. I keep a clean camp and want to make sure anything attractive to a bear is put up. Sticky, messy meals are hell to deal with when backpacking in bear country.

  39. 39.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    @morzer: [Standing O]

    so I wanted to ask, what do y’all cook when camping?

    Bacon. Eggs. Pancakes. I always make a point of bringing some really good steaks for at least one dinner. (This also gives us something to look forward to when we are once again horribly lost in the backwoods and worried we’re going to trip over bears, poachers or meth labs before we escape the consequences of yet another off-trail adventure.) But we’ve only ever done car camping at places where they have a fire ring. Never used a Coleman.

  41. 41.

    demo woman

    I just went to FireDogLake and they have a post up bitching about Gibbs. The comments continued the hate fest against Gibbs and nothing about the Presidents statement.

  43. 43.

    soonergrunt

    @Ben JB: If I’m packing it in, then I prefer Ramen noodles, because they’re light, and they provide high energy. They also take the flavor of whatever you put in with them.
    Also you can carry some string cheese and some jerky and throw that stuff in there with the ramen. CheeseWiz is good too.
    Get some instant cocoa and coffee packets from the store, some creamer and sugar packets from a restaurant. You can make some decent stuff with that and the ramen. cook the ramen until it’s falling apart and a mushy mass. Add three packets of cocoa and two creamer and a sugar packet. mix it up, let it cool, bingo chocolate brownie.

    It is amazing just how creative you can get when your food consists of the same MRE packets three days a week for weeks on end.

  44. 44.

    jacy

    @RedKitten:

    Happy almost birthday, Samkitten! Woohoo!

    You know, you could have snuck over the border about this time and had a real, live terror baby!

  45. 45.

    Bella Q

    @Hal:

    Double shots every time someone spells Mosque or Muslim correctly.

    I started to ask how the hell could I get drunk that way, and then realized the first round would leave me comatose in short order.

  46. 46.

    Stuck in the Funhouse

    BTW Cole, I had not watched the movie bedazzled before, but that clip on the beach the other day has given me continuous giggles ever since. One of the funniest scenes ever, and I don’t mean as related to progressives, just by itself. Brendan Frasier should have gotten an Oscar for that scene alone.

    Think of the Dolphins. LOL.

  47. 47.

    Stuck in the Funhouse

    and getting ready to watch Shutter Island that came in mail today. I’m a big Decaprio fan.

  48. 48.

    CynDee

    John, it’s no party out here — we have no animal pics.

    NO.ANIMAL.PICS.

    I jus wanna see a sweet Lily face.

  49. 49.

    Allison W.

    @beltane:

    Hopefully OFA will get the message out that Barack Obama is not on the ballot

    it might, MIGHT, get some people to come out and vote if they saw it as a vote for Obama or the Obama agenda.

  52. 52.

    debit

    Tonight I tormented my dog. At our scheduled walk time, I took her harness and put it on the cat. She stared in horror and disbelief, then as I clicked the fastener closed, she went into a fit of hysterical barking. It only got worse when I then clipped on the leash. Luther, trooper that he is, just sat there, even when Chloe grabbed the leash and tried to pull it off him. It was at this point I pretty much collapsed in laughter.

    To make up for it, I added a half a mile to our walk. I think she’s forgiven me.

  53. 53.

    birthmarker

    In girl scouts we would make campfire stew which consists solely of a pound of browned ground beef and two cans of Campbells’ vegetable alphabet soup poured on top of it. It’s a fond memory! Surprisingly!

    Bacon and eggs for breakfast, and toast your leftover hot dog buns for your bread.

    You can also marinate chicken with your favorite marinade (we use Dale’s Sauce in the south) and pineapple juice and grill.

    Before we had kids my husband and I would eat every meal at a restaurant when we camped. After kids, they liked to cook out and I admit it is fun!!

  54. 54.

    Felanius Kootea (formerly Salt and freshly ground black people)

    @RedKitten: Wow – time flies! First birthday parties are fun though (even if the kid doesn’t fully understand).

  56. 56.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @RedKitten: We were pacing and chain-smoking and asking every passing nurse “Is it a boy or a girl? I want to know if I’m an aunt or an unclle!” etc.

    So what’s party going to be like? And when do we get a batch of new photos to admire?

    Birthday kisses to the little SamKitteh and a “job well done” to his mom.

  58. 58.

    Allison W.

    @stuckinred:

    I don’t get why anyone would get upset by his speech/statement. We all knew where he would stand. My only question was when he would voice his position.

  61. 61.

    JGabriel

    morzer:

    It’s a common side effect of having one’s panties in a bunch and one’s head up one’s ass.

    To be fair, it’s very difficult to put one’s head up one’s ass without bunching the panties to one side or another.

    Unless one is either wearing assless panties, or none at all. However, that kind of foresight is not a typical trait of the ram-your-own-head-up-your-own-ass crowd.

    .

  62. 62.

    debit

    @RedKitten: Wow, was it really almost a year? Seems like just a few months ago. Samkitten sounds like such a sweet kid. Give him a hug from me.

  63. 63.

    RedKitten

    @SiubhanDuinne: Party’s going to be simple. Just close family, good food, and cake. No balloons — I have a phobia. I will definitely take pics and probably some video too, and will send it to John to post.

  64. 64.

    Cat Lady

    @Stuck in the Funhouse:

    That was filmed a mile from my house here. It’s a classic old anachronistic New England nuthouse on a beautiful piece of pristine land, sitting there getting spookier and spookier. Gone Baby Gone was filmed a mile from my house in the other direction. I didn’t see anyone though.

  67. 67.

    Allison W.

    There was a protest on Wall Street today for the 99er’s and I missed it. I was at an interview though, but I won’t know anything for two weeks – sigh.

  68. 68.

    burnspbesq

    @morzer:

    Well, you take a large cannon….

    You have no idea how good that sounds. Alas, it doesn’t really solve the problem, because the next Pope would likely be just as bad. The institution needs an overhaul; Bennie Sixteen is a symptom, not the problem.

    Vatican 3, anyone?

  70. 70.

    JGabriel

    @Ben JB:

    what do y’all cook when camping?

    Fawns that I personally track down, tackle, and strangle with my bare hands.

    I am a mean, mean man.

    (P.S. I live in NYC. My idea of camping is a Sabretto’s Hot Dog bought from a stand in Central Park.)

    .

  73. 73.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @RedKitten #63:

    No balloons—I have a phobia.

    Wow, lady, are *you* ever in the wrong thread!

  75. 75.

    Yutsano

    @burnspbesq:

    For your penance, eat a Big Mac.

    I would never wish that Hell upon anyone. Then again I do creative punishments involving vegetable peelers and lemon juice. I shan’t say more.

    @soonergrunt: As a theist, I shall intercede with my understanding of Allah on your behalf. Which is just a fancy way of saying I’ll pray my tuchas off for you soldier.

  76. 76.

    freelancer

    @jacy:

    I vote for a triple shot every time you see the word “Muslin.”

    Allow me to be a twitter-whore and post my reply to SarahPalinUSA that I did about an hour ago:

    Will Obama express US lingering pain& ask Muslims for tolerance by discouraging 9/11 mosque while he celebrates Islamic holy month tonight?

    @SarahPalinUSA PrezObama celebrating Muslim month in one night?! He must be some kind of SOOPERDooperMuslin usurper! #tcot #morans

    The Right has become unspoofable.

  78. 78.

    SIA

    I’m taking a break from watching all the sex scenes in The Last King with Rufus Sewell. He’s purdy.

  79. 79.

    Roger Moore

    @burnspbesq:

    Anyone have any thoughts on how to fire a Pope?

    I think we’re stuck with Second Amendment remedies. I do wonder, though, how long it’s going to be before an aggressive prosecutor charges the Catholic Church under RICO or some analogous law.

  80. 80.

    scav

    @morzer:

    Well, you take a large cannon….

    I only found minor canons and I think at least a major canon would be needed to sit on him and squish him properly flat. Maybe a seriously obese lay canon could manage it. . . My only other thoughts involve heaps of kindling and marshmallows.

  82. 82.

    Roger Moore

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Wow, lady, are you ever in the wrong thread on the wrong blog!

    FTFY. If you have a problem with balloons, perhaps “Balloon Juice” is not the right blog for you.

  83. 83.

    Allison W.

    I read in the paper (paper for teachers – my friend is a teacher) today that a teacher was fired from a Christian based school because they found out that she conceived3 weeks before her wedding. This took place in Florida and she is suing.

    Read another story in a different paper (I forget which) where an employer in Russia says he will fire any woman who had an abortion – he doesn’t want any killers in the workplace.

    last Sunday I went to church to attend the christening of my friends daughter. During this uber long service (4 HOURS – and we were an hour late) a visiting pastor gave a sermon about the things wrong in society. Wanna guess what made it to the list? homosexuality. She didn’t expand on the issue she just put it on the list.

    This is why I don’t go to church anymore.

  84. 84.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @burnspbesq #57:

    Anyone have any thoughts on how to fire a Pope?

    First, you need a filibuster-proof majority in the College of Cardinals.

  85. 85.

    Nick

    @Allison W.:

    I read in the paper (paper for teachers – my friend is a teacher) today that a teacher was fired from a Christian based school because they found out that she conceived3 weeks before her wedding. This took place in Florida and she is suing.

    That happened to a friend of mine in fucking New York City. She got pregnant WHILE engaged and the only reason why she hadn’t gotten married yet was because her father was in a bad accident, suffered a broken hip and she was waiting until he heals and can walk her down the aisle.

  86. 86.

    Nick

    @freelancer: I called her a sick human being on Twitter.

    But this is reality. We might laugh at that, but to millions upon millions of Americans, even here in New York, “tolerance” is suppressing the right to worship of people who just happened to belong to the same religion as Mohammad Atta.

    THIS is the America Barack Obama has to govern.

  87. 87.

    Violet

    @Allison W.:

    at a teacher was fired from a Christian based school because they found out that she conceived3 weeks before her wedding. This took place in Florida and she is suing.

    She probably doesn’t have a case. Sounds like she had to sign something saying she’d uphold certain morals. And if FL is an “at will” employment state, then she really doesn’t have much of a case. She shouldn’t have told her employers how far along she was in her pregnancy. The baby could have been “premature” and she would have been fine. Her employers couldn’t legally ask about that kind of thing.

    That doesn’t mean it’s not stupid. They’re making the mother and baby suffer by the mother losing her job due to a three week time difference in when she had sex. Who’s the immoral one?

  88. 88.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    ask Muslims for tolerance

    The fReichtard mindset in a tiny nutshell. Tolerance = Everyone accommodates our bullshit fears and hatreds.

    Does anyone remember that film clip that showed anti-Muslim protesters being asked to leave a McCain rally? Remember how there was some debate as to whether it was genuine or not?

    I’m leaning towards NOT.

  89. 89.

    flukebucket

    @RedKitten:

    It is so hard to believe it has been a year. I always love it when you link to pictures of the little feller. It always brightens my day. My first grandchild is due in about 3 or 4 weeks and I am so much more nervous than I was when my own children were born. Looking at your beautiful little boy always helps to calm me down a little bit :-)

  90. 90.

    Ana Gama

    @Hal:

    Double shots every time someone spells Mosque or Muslim correctly.

    Well, shit, that won’t be much fun…I’m sure they only spell those words correctly one time out of a thousand.

  92. 92.

    Dee Loralei

    @RedKitten: We’re still all pacing the virtual floor, this year instead of a most gorgeous SamKitten; for a SoonerGruntmass. Different hopes and expectations, but at the end of both we still wanted everyone to be OK.

  95. 95.

    New Yorker

    So I had actually never seen “Bullitt” before tonight (Netflix helps me catch up with all the stuff that I’m ashamed to admit I’ve never seen) but I had heard about the car chase. I swear to the FSM, I started getting motion sickness watching the chase. It rules.

    Michael Bay and various other hacks can try all they want to make car chases even more intense, but I tell ya: a couple of muscle cars and the hilly streets of San Francisco is all you need.

  98. 98.

    Allison W.

    @Violet:

    I don’t think she anticipated this reaction so I don’t see why she should have lied about her due date. Also, seriously? a contract saying she wouldn’t have sex before marriage? I can see a contract about not having sex with students or faculty but geesh.

  101. 101.

    WaterGirl

    @soonergrunt: I think i may have whiplash from whipping out of this post so fast (!) to try to find out what was going on with you after I saw schrodinger’s cat wishing you luck and asking you to keep us posted.

    Funny how we can care so much about someone we have never met. I am holding onto your doctor’s hopeful comment about masses on the heart. Long weekend ahead, but hopefully you will have some very good news, very soon.

  103. 103.

    SIA

    @soonergrunt, I’m sorry I don’t know the details, but sounds like the jist of it is some serious health issues? Sending you some healing light and thoughts.

  104. 104.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    @Peter: Wow.

    We can follow what happened back in the 40s or 50s. I was just a little girl in Miami, and they built camps for the people that snuck into the country, because they were illegal. They put them in the camps, and they shipped them back. We can do that.

    The ignorance and hate are perfectly balanced!

  105. 105.

    Origuy

    Best wishes to soonergrunt. I always learn something from your comments.

    Sort of connected, and sort of related to today’s events: My sister is a breast cancer survivor. She found out about this charity on one of the cancer survivors’ websites.

    Wish Upon a Wedding is the world’s first nonprofit wish granting organization providing weddings and vow renewals for couples facing terminal illness and serious life-altering circumstances regardless of sexual orientation. Our organization offers couples a chance to enjoy a very special day, without any thoughts of existing health or other serious issues, while surrounded by their closest family and friends.

    Besides donations, they are also looking for people who can give their time and talents to help.

  106. 106.

    soonergrunt

    @Keith G: Thanks!
    @RedKitten: And more thanks!
    @Yutsano: Thanks for the support!
    @New Yorker: That car race was the first Special Effects Oscar winner. It’s freaking awesome.
    @kdaug: Well, I’m still only a week off of pneumonia, so I get tired doing the slightest things. Today has been an emotional roller coaster though. I feel like I want to go to sleep, but I’m really keyed up, too. Other than that, I’m OK. Thanks for asking.
    @WaterGirl: Yeah, this weekend is going to suck, but I believe I’m going to hear good things on Monday.
    @SIA: Well, I seem to be carrying a little too much weight…I have a mass of undetermined origin on the right ventricle of my heart. We discovered it today from a CT that was ordered after a shadow on an X-ray last week.

  107. 107.

    Violet

    @Allison W.:
    From what I read, it sounded like they had a morals clause all teachers had to sign. It’s a Christian school, so it doesn’t surprise me they try to control every aspect of their employees’ lives. It’s not right from a moral standpoint, but from a legal standpoint I don’t see how she has a case.

    There was something in the article I read saying the school administration had told other employees about her pregnancy, why she was fired, etc. Now that sort of thing might be grounds for a case, as it’s telling personal medical information. I don’t know for sure, and the school isn’t a doctor who would have broken medical confidentiality, but still it might be a more solid case than the other one.

  108. 108.

    suzanne

    @soonergrunt: Very bestest of luck. I’m sure all will be fine and will soon be nothing but a very boring memory.

    @RedKitten: Congrats on keeping your little one alive and kicking for a year! ;) That first year is so hard, and tiring. Happy almost birthday to him. :)

    I posted this yesterday, but I’m not sure if y’all got to see this bit of horror. I don’t know what’s more terrifying… the message, or the fact that he had so much time on his hands.

    In other non-news, my ex-husband is a raging asshole. Threatened to have the police show up to my house to take my daughter away. ***sigh***

  109. 109.

    soonergrunt

    Well, I replied to several of you all in one post. Apparently multiple HTML links trigger moderation, even if they all point within the thread.
    Thank you all so much for the kind words. I don’t know if I’ll sleep tonight, but I’m going to try. Hug your spouses, significant others, children, pets, and anyone else you’re near.

  111. 111.

    YellowJournalism

    @RedKitten: Happy B-day to Samkitten! Birthday details and pics are a must.

    And don’t have any clowns. Those things are freakin’ creepy.

  112. 112.

    J.W. Hamner

    I’ve been playing some old skool Sword of the Stars.

    I’m going to come out and say it: Master of Orion 2 dreams of being this game’s bitch.

  113. 113.

    Steeplejack

    @RedKitten:

    LOL because I got this as a police APB: “Suspect is 32 inches tall, has 7 teeth. Not walking yet, but can stand on his own. Approach with caution.”

  114. 114.

    Steeplejack

    @Stuck in the Funhouse:

    Didn’t post last night because I got in late, but Bedazzled is a very funny movie all the way through. Worth renting/buying.

    (The original with Dudley Moore and Peter Cooke is good as well.)

Comments are closed.