Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

“Cheese and Kraken paired together for the appetizer trial.”

Republicans choose power over democracy, every day.

Michigan is a great lesson for Dems everywhere: when you have power…use it!

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

“And when the Committee says to “report your income,” that could mean anything!

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Everybody saw this coming.

And so it is for the politically and morally bankrupt Kevin McCarthy.

He imagines himself as The Big Bad, Who Is Universally Feared… instead of The Big Jagoff, Who Is Universally Mocked.

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

Every reporter and pundit should have to declare if they ever vacationed with a billionaire.

“Why isn’t this Snickers bar only a nickle?”

People are complicated. Love is not.

American History and Black History Cannot Be Separated

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

“The defense has a certain level of trust in defendant that the government does not.”

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

Hi god, it’s us. Thanks a heap, you’re having a great week and it’s only Thursday!

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Open Thread

by | 81 Comments

This post is in: 

For those of you who were shut out of the first league, good news from the commisioner:

Wow, Balloon Juice does like football! I didn’t expect the fantasy league to fill up at all, but it did so in about an hour.

For those left out in the autumn rain, a second league has been formed: the BJFL ‘Murrican Conference – just like the old AFL. The conferences will play by the same rules and their individual champions will meet at the end of the NFL season in a Balloon Juice Super Bowl!

Sign up here:
http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/f1/621589

Or go to Yahoo > Fantasy Sports and look for league 621589. The password is alsotoo.

Please indicate your B-J nickname in either your team name, or your Yahoo nick – so we know who you are! More conferences are possible if this one fills too.

Get to it.

Reader Interactions

81Comments

  2. 2.

    morzer

    Morzer’s Brutesquad is destined to prevail! We have our patent super-secret method of selection, which has never failed. Of course, we don’t talk about the fact that it has never, technically, won either. But we have the finest darts and the best draft-board in the league, and our blindfolded, anonymous GM has only ever caused one serious flesh-wound, isn’t that right, Mr Favre? Furthermore, the Nigerian Former Finance Minister who owns the team has made an unswerving commitment to make ours the first billion-dollar squad! So if ya’ll would just kindly hand over the trophy, I promise that in every game we’ll stop after the 10th Tunchdown.. I mean touchdown.. against your sorry-ass franchises. If you make real nice, we might even let you kick a field-goal. Real nice, ya’ll hear?!

  4. 4.

    MeDrewNotYou

    If the ‘Murrican Conference can get themselves a Lennonist team, I will kill people in their sleep to get a Marxist-Lennonist Super Bowl!

  13. 13.

    debit

    Remember when someone wanted to know the identity and purpose of BJ and I said football and no one believed me? I rest my case.

    @ open thread: Back from another vet visit. Chloe has allergies and has been biting her feet for the last few days. We’re going to try Benadryl, if that doesn’t work we’ll switch to Prednisone. Her poor little paws look so sore.

  15. 15.

    Corner Stone

    @FlipYrWhig: I didn’t know if you guys could agree on how exactly to shorten it.
    Probably better if you just take the deal that was offered to you in the first place, The PAP Schmears.

  16. 16.

    Spiffy McBang

    It’s cool he started a second league, I just wish he hadn’t cut down the first one. Now I can’t get in either. :\ Probably for the best, I suppose.

  18. 18.

    FlipYrWhig

    @debit: My 16-year-old cat has licked/bitten the fur off her legs and lower belly for years. It got a bit better last year when we discovered she had a thyroid condition and started treating that.

  22. 22.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @John Cole #14:

    I decided to upgrade my eleven year old rear

    Thought you were 40.

    (Okay, *oKAY* — you know damn well *some*body was going to do it!)

  23. 23.

    schrodinger's cat

    I want to join, since I like to hang out with BJ peeps but have no idea what fantasy football is. Can somebody explain.

  25. 25.

    Corner Stone

    @FlipYrWhig: Hey, if you can show me where the votes are for something cool like “Modern Day Unitas” or “MUP Avenger” I’d say go for it.
    But good luck with that.

  26. 26.

    Kinky Beats

    League numero dos is full. Damn. I was hoping to join. I’d be an easy victory for the others in the league.

  27. 27.

    theconstituent

    @schrodinger’s cat:
    Basically you draft a team of NFL players, and earn points based on how the players on your team perform each week. Touchdowns, rushing yards, passing yards, etc. are worth a certain amount of points. Each week, you are matched against another fantasy team in your league, and whichever team’s players perform the best wins.

  29. 29.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @schrodinger’s cat #24: Oh lordy, I wish I knew! ‘Cause my 68-year-old rear could use some powerful upgrading.

  30. 30.

    valdivia

    so I barely survived the Beck-Fest. AT&T had no service so I couldn’t update y’all about what was going on. Needless to say I found out today that since i am not a Christian I am not going to be a part of the future salvation of this country at the hands of those who were there today.

    I am so disturbed by it all I don’t even know where to begin.

  31. 31.

    roshan

    Hey Schrody, have a look.

    Fantasy Football is a fantasy sports game in which participants (called “owners”) are arranged into a competitive league, earning “fantasy points” by using the statistics of real football players. The owners of each league draft real-life American football players, typically from either the NFL or NCAA, filling a roster containing the various offense or defensive positions on a team, such as Quarterback, Running Back, Wide Receiver, Tight End, Kicker and Defense. Depending on how well the players on an Owner’s team do in a given week, the team earns Fantasy Points to compete against the other owners in the league. If a running back rushes for a touchdown, for instance, the running back earned a pre-determined amount of points for that running back’s owner. At the end of the season, win-loss records determine league rankings or qualifications into a playoff bracket. Most leagues set aside the last weekends of the regular season for their own playoffs, which determines the league’s champion for that season.

    The fucking thing sucks!

  33. 33.

    Yutsano

    @SiubhanDuinne: How’s about I promise to keep the gubmint outta your Medicare will that work too?

    Woke up late, agree with DougJ: pretty much still got nothin’.

    @valdivia: Only saw a few pictures, but what I did see was white, white, and more white. Does that sound about accurate?

  35. 35.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @valdivia #28: I doubt it matters very much where you begin. But do please share your impressions while they’re fresh, before the snark settles.

  38. 38.

    R-Jud

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Oh lordy, I wish I knew! ‘Cause my 68-year-old rear could use some powerful upgrading.

    Squats and lunges! My mom took up lifting about 5 yrs ago (she is 59) and looks better now than she did when she was a cheerleader in the ’60s. She also walks a few mornings a week for an hour.

  39. 39.

    schrodinger's cat

    @valdivia: Yes please share your impressions with us. I am curious. I find it difficult to believe that people take the chubby guy seriously, to me he seems like an SNL skit, a parody.

  40. 40.

    valdivia

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    mostly that what went on today was a revival meeting. with militaristic & political messianic overtones. very very scary to me. I have been in this country a long time, made it my country and for the first time today I felt like I was in a place where religion will dictate how to live. that these people want that to happen and might one day get the power to do it.
    I’m in fact so freaked out by it all I can’t even be snarky about it.

    @schrodinger’s cat:
    yeah me either but today was not his usual shtick. today his tone was that of a messianic leader pointing the way to political redemption through god. Not even subtle. There were a bunch of people around the press pen (where I was way at the front) with HUGE wood crosses with american flags nailed to them. & the constant mention of the country being at war & at a crossroads (no details but we obviously know who the enemy is right?) and God being the ONE and ONLY answer.

  44. 44.

    valdivia

    Sorry for so many posts: the other thing that was very disturbing to me was the conscious effort to take over the memory of King and his I have Dream speech as well as the whole civil rights movement. The war Beck and these folks talk about is about…taxes & who knows what else. And all of it is the same as slavery and the civil war. How the fuck are these things alike????

  46. 46.

    freelancer

    @valdivia:

    The war Beck and these folks talk about is about…taxes & who knows what else. And all of it is the same as slavery and the civil war. How the fuck are these things alike????

    They are just empty codewords, voided vessels waiting to be injected with whatever meaning Beck/wingnuts deem appropriate, thus income taxes are the same as slavery. And backlash for being an outspoken bigot is the real racism.

  47. 47.

    You Don't Say

    @valdivia: At a distance, it’s easy to make fun, but I bet it was very disturbing to be there. I feel disheartened, and angry, lately.

  48. 48.

    Cat Lady

    @valdivia:

    As beltane said so prophetically last year

    The teabagger protests of the future will feature partially clothed, excrement covered fat people shrieking incomprehensible gibberish. It will be the Woodstock of the damned.

    You’re witnessing the gibberish part.

  49. 49.

    lamh31

    It’s gonna be a rainy coupla days in NOLA, but I’m loving it.
    Saints beat the Chargers!!! Who day?

  50. 50.

    valdivia

    @freelancer:

    yes a lot felt like code to me except for the religion is what makes america great part.

    @You Don’t Say:
    I am still shaking my head at what this experience was like. & never watch his show because I find him too over the top. Today he let others do a lot of the talking except for his 1 hour speech which was, again, about America’s salvation through god.

  51. 51.

    schrodinger's cat

    @valdivia: And what religion might that be? He is a Mormon, or so I hear. I wonder how many people buy into this rhetoric. I have never watched his show either, only clips on the Daily Show. To maintain my sanity I have stopped watching the cable news shows since this June.

  52. 52.

    WaterGirl

    @debit: I’m not sure who at BJ recommended apple cider vinegar mixed with water for doggie itching – maybe it was even you – but it’s really helping my bailey with his itching.

    Last year by this time he was hot pink and he was well on the way there this year until we tried the apple cider vinegar. By using the apple cider vinegar mixture on his skin we can get by with only one Benedryl a day.

    Big thanks to the BJ person who first posted the suggestion!

  53. 53.

    valdivia

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    today it was ALL about being a Christian and redemption in the Lord Jesus Christ (I heard this from *every* speaker except Beck who only talked about God). Obviously the people there today buy his rhetoric. They were there FOR him.

    Oh and his new thing is about something he calls the Black Robe Brigade, he says it was the preachers who sparked the revolution against England and that they’re back, to spark a new one.

    I think he is quite crafty about hiding his Mormon thing.

  54. 54.

    morzer

    @freelancer:

    What they really mean, but can’t say, is that they want to mooch off everyone else, while denying them the opportunities they were given. Thus, no taxes, no government, just a fantasy land of greed, bigotry and ignorance.

  55. 55.

    Svensker

    @valdivia:

    Well, do tell. Seriously. There’s very little coverage of it in the LSM.

    Well, I see you have been telling. All about religion? Eeek.

  56. 56.

    Keith G

    @valdivia:

    Thanks for your insights. I am not nor have I ever thought that I am an alarmist. Still, this guy gives me the willies.

    After spending a number of years earning a living as a political historian, I have come to the conclusion that we have an unfortunately low tipping point for mass stupidity in this society.

    I am not sure that Beck will ever acquire the critical mass necessary to turn his masturbatory fantasy into a real social movement, but he certainly seems willing and able. For a few years, I have winched as liberals here, in the media, and in the general population laugh at these folks – so sure that superior wit and intelligence will thwart them.

    In a nation of sheep a bit of extra vigilance and effort is required to keep the herd from going nutso.

  57. 57.

    valdivia

    @Svensker:

    I was wondering what kind of coverage there would be. Beck kept harping on The Media, as if he was not a media person. Huh? I guess he meant the MSM. Still. A lot of the journalists in the pen were from religious &/or extremely local outfits (Kansas for example)

  58. 58.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @valdivia:

    Oh and his new thing is about something he calls the Black Robe Brigade, he says it was the preachers who sparked the revolution against England and that they’re back, to spark a new one.

    He says what now? James Otis, Patrick Henry, Sam Adams, John Hancock, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, and Ben Franklin; lawyers, landowners, slave owners, merchants sure. Not a lot of preachers among the founders.

  59. 59.

    RinaX

    Eh, I’m already signed up in two FF leagues, so I really didn’t need to join another one. Still disappointed to miss out, though. :(

  61. 61.

    valdivia

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    yep. I know but this is his thing now, how the Church(es) & God are the only things that can save America. That in history it has been from the godly folk that things have been achieved. I have no idea who he is talking about in the revolutionary war period but I guess we’ll be hearing about it a lot based on what I got today.

  62. 62.

    licensed to kill time

    @valdivia:

    I think he is quite crafty about hiding his Mormon thing.

    Imagine if he had started going on about the Angel Moroni and buried gold plates and special specs needed to decipher….

    I was going to say the crowd would turn on him in a heartbeat. But then it occurred to me that the people who follow his teevee show probably wouldn’t even notice. It sounds just like his usual ravings with the chalkboard and arcane connections that only he can decipher. Funny, that.

  63. 63.

    Yutsano

    @licensed to kill time: The last thing I want to give Glenn Beck credit for is being the reincarnation of Joseph Smith. But even he recanted everything on his deathbed, so there might be some hope yet.

  64. 64.

    General Stuck

    Michelle Malkin estimates 1.5 gazillion at Beck Rally, and all of em Made In America.

  65. 65.

    IronyAbounds

    well, the second league is full too. I’ll just be sitting with the nerds at our own lunch table while you jocks can boast about how well your team is doing.

  72. 72.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @IronyAbounds: I don’t do fantasy football. It interferes with watching and rooting for my team. I don’t care to worry about some wide receiver on some other team scoring eight touchdowns. I want the Packers to win and I want other teams’ results to come out in a way that benefits the Packers. Worrying about that takes enough of my energy.

  73. 73.

    Svensker

    @IronyAbounds:

    I’ll just be sitting with the nerds at our own lunch table while you jocks can boast about how well your team is doing.

    Me, too. I love me some football, but trying to keep track of who is the best linebacker in the league, or who is gonna be the fastest wideout…well, I just cain’t do it. But I do like to look at all those guys in their tight capris. Huddle!

    Also, Go Jets (and they really need to get going), too.

  74. 74.

    Yutsano

    @Svensker: GO SEACHICKENS!!

    (Sorry, it gets reflexive when I start talking about pro football. For college it’s any team but UW and the University of Spoiled Children.)

  75. 75.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Omnes Omnibus: I actually agree with you, Cheddarhead. I did the March Madness once, and I started rooting for teams just so my bracket wouldn’t bust. I do not want to go the fantasy football route because it would make me miserable.

    @valdivia: Damn. You’re giving me the chills, girl. I really need to get cracking on marrying someone from a foreign country, preferably a cold one.

    @Yutsano: How you be, hon?

  76. 76.

    IronyAbounds

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    Well as a Bills fan, the time for any meaningful games is over before September ends, so I actually need something to keep me interested beyond that point.

  78. 78.

    mattt

    Hey, teh Commish here. Boy, there is some hunger for football here!

    There is now a third conference open. Sign up here…..password is alsotoo.

    http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/f1/register/tos?league_id=623662&password=alsotoo

    If the direct link doesn’t work go to Yahoo Fantasy Sports and sign up for League # 623662

    If any of the people who got bumped out of the first league when it was downsized, get shut out again, drop me a line directly offlist and I will see that you get priority for any 4th conference.

  80. 80.

    mattt

    @ Roshan

    So, it sounds like you lost badly last year!

    About downsizing the first league: sorry to those who got bounced but it was necessary. If I ever expected there’d be such interest I would’ve limited it to 14 or so from the start. My bad!

    20 teams is too many….think about it, each team starts 2 RBs. That’s 40 RBs every week. Once bye weeks start in the NFL you have less than 30 NFL teams active each week. Considering most fantasy managers will carry an extra back or two on their bench that means in mid-season in a 20 team league you’ll be scraping the waiver wire to find some reserve third down back on the Chiefs who might have a chance of scoring a point. Much more fun to play with more concentrated talent, and multiple conferences of 14 each.

  81. 81.

    JenJen

    Sniff… shut out of BOTH leagues. You bastards!!

    Now all of my Balloon-Juice-related football activities will involve mocking the Steelers (and Cole) at every given opportunity. That’ll be lots different from every other year, eh? :-)

    GO BENGALS

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