Our long national nightmare is about to end, as the NFL kickoff is tonight. I’m pretty excited, especially considering I have a new tv and sports look phenomenal in 1080p.
BTW- I hate weather changes. I’ve just felt like hell all week. Sinuses acting crazy, my shoulder is killing me, my knees ache. Add in the temp. crown and the damned glare. Feh. I love that it is nice and cool out, but jeebus. I hate getting older.
I’m thinking a mojito/Advil cocktail is in my immediate future.
*** Update ***
And the trash bandit strikes again:
The upside of this mess is I will finally be able to figure out which one of the beasts is responsible for this. All I have to do is watch and see which one shits tinsel tomorrow.
Watch- it will be all three and I’ll just cry.
Mumphrey
Forgive me for this, but our long national nightmare is only beginning. Football season means that the day is in sight when there will be no more baseball. Then the only thing to do is shiver through the long, bleak winter until opening day.
Rekster
John, the long nightmare ended last Saturday night when The Crimson Tide took the field at Bryant Denny stadium to continue as the number 1 team in the country.
Spaghetti Lee
If you’re a Bears fan like me, then our long national nightmare has only begun.
KG
no, no, no… the long national nightmare hunkers along for another two months until the opening tip of the NBA season.
Relatedly, Ron Artest (who, as a Lakers’ fan, I’ve come to love) is going to auction his championship ring to raise money for mental health awareness.
Midnight Marauder
FOOTBAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL!
USA! USA! USA!
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
Here in the Dallas area, we had TS Hermine come through, which caused some major flooding. Most of that was caused by my sinuses going absolutely haywire.
If you’ve seen “Waters of Mars” on Doctor Who, you will have an idea of what my nose was like.
Steve
People in Detroit are actually optimistic about the coming season. Might win 5 games! Developing…
Nom de Plume
Quick question: how are you able to view sports telecasts in 1080p? I have a 1080p screen myself, but the best my cable company can do is 720p, and the best I can get over the air is 1080i.
garage mahal
Yea no cable companies are broadcasting in 1080p yet. I think DISH and Direct you can get 1080p on-demand movies in 1080P though.
arguingwithsignposts
@Rekster:
Well at least you didn’t say it was a “national” nightmare that ended when the Red Tide took the field.
inb4 AsiangrrlMN bitching about He Who Shall Not Be Named. :)
Nom de Plume
Football season means that the day is in sight when there will be no more baseball.
Okay, I’m not gonna get into a football v. baseball argument, but why do baseball fans always lament the end of the season? For fuck’s sake, you get spring training, followed by 162 regular season games (for each team), followed by a protracted postseason that often doesn’t end until November. And that entire period is with games nearly every freaking day. Seriously, if there was that much football, I’d get sick of it within a month.
John Cole
@garage mahal: I just checked- it is 1080i.
Bruce (formerly Steve S.)
Donald Trump is offering to buy the “Ground Zero Mosque” property at a premium. I think that’s great, because if there’s anybody who respects the feelings of others it’s Donald Trump. Trump’s Muslim Exclusion Zone is seven blocks, BTW.
If somebody starts a non-football open thread we can move discussion of this fantastic news over there.
Daddy-O
Time for John to try a sinus rinse.
I’ve had sinus trouble all my life; two infections a year or so. Not no mo’!
Give it a try, John. Yes, it’ll be something else for you to have to do…but it’s been worth it to me.
garage mahal
John
You might even find sports looks a little better in 720p than 1080i, because of the progressive scan. I have Uverse, and I can notice a slight difference for the better.
Nadnerb in NC
@Spaghetti Lee: As a Buffalo Bills fan, my nightmare has been ongoing since the 1990’s…
Corner Stone
@Midnight Marauder: *Nodding.*
{Crying tears of joyous joyousness}
Quaker in a Basement
All I have to do is watch and see which one shits tinsel tomorrow.
I once had a labrador who ate a half pound of pistachios, shells and all.
She was out of sorts for the next three days.
Corner Stone
@KG:
I thought he raised awareness of that when he went into the stands.
Plus, if he had donated all the fines he had from that…
eemom
I like tinsel dog poop better than football.
I recognize that I am in the minority here.
dmsilev
@Bruce (formerly Steve S.): Wow, this mosque thing has really brought all the clowns together in one place; who would have thought that there’d be an issue that both Sarah Palin and Donald Trump felt was worthy of their attention? I wonder what will be next; maybe some pro-sports owner wanting public money to build a stadium on the site.
dms
R-Jud
I hear you about the sinuses. This year I also seem to have developed asthma symptoms pretty much out of nowhere. Charming.
My husband’s American football season ended ingloriously – a broken ankle. Now he will be getting up at odd hours to watch NFL games. For some reason, he likes the Redskins.
I prefer college football.
lamh32
Geaux Saints!!!!
Josie
Maybe we could take bets on the tinsel. My money is on Rosie.
Just Some Fuckhead
Yeah, it’ll probably be all three. That’s how I lost a jumbo package of Pacific Gold beef jerky. The cats got it out of the cabinet and the dog opened it and they all gorged and laid around fat and lazy for about a day.
Mark S.
@Nom de Plume:
I’m not a baseball fan, but that brings up something I’ve always wondered: If you’re going to have divisional playoffs, why in God’s name would you have a best of five? Baseball is too flukey to be decided by such a short series.
And Another Thing...
@Bruce (formerly Steve S.): It’s just about time for Jesse Jackson to show up. So who’s the third most prominent media whore?
Corner Stone
@R-Jud:
I…don’t understand?
Cain
Can someone please explain to me why is Ben Nelson is trying to stop me from getting my tax cut??
h/t: talking points memo
here
The asshat is again threatening to not allow me my middle class tax cut unless the rich gets it too. Fuck him. Can we primary this guy? I rather have a republican. Bastard.
cain
Betsy
My college boyfriend’s roommate’s weimaraner once managed to eat an entire batch of chocolate chip cookies. Which contained 3/4 of a pound of chocolate. Which is, you know, not so kosher for the puppehs.
Amazingly, although he looked fairly uncomfortable for a day or two, he was fine.
Not me! I LOVE the cooler weather today. Transition seasons are my favorites. Love love love. Soon it will be time for apple picking, cider donuts, apple muffins and chocolate chip cookies and hot tea and sweaters and crunchy leaves! Yay!!!!
Corner Stone
@And Another Thing…: He was on TV last night talking about how he’s been trying for three days to contact the nutjob by phone.
jl
NFL football must occur and end our long national nightmare, and the trash bandit(s) must be caught, in line with our national tradition, because otherwise the terrorists will have won, and for the children.
And because I think Mr. Cole needs a nap.
Max
@Nadnerb in NC: Bills fan here too.
The moments leading up to their first game each year are always so exciting and then, the first half happens, and I realize we are screwed again.
It takes a strong person to be a lifelong Bills fan. There should be some sort of 12 step program.
But, with that…
Go Bills!
bkny
i had a cat that would dig out styrofoam from the garbage and tear it into thousands of little pieces.
Corner Stone
Why do I no longer have any of the easy peasy comment buttons here like Link, Blockquote, etc? Something to do with Cole’s recent STD?
Garrigus Carraig
@Nom de Plume:
You just answered your own question. #gophils
JWL
True baseball fans only lament their team missing the playoff hunt, not the end of the season. Leastwise, the ones that lament the end of the season are not football fans.
This time last year, it was increasingly obvious the San Francisco Giants were not going to make a move that would put them within striking distance of a playoff berth. Given their season, they didn’t deserve to go, either. So it was suddenly: “Go Niners!”… and wait till next year.
The greatest weeks of sports during the year are in the offing: Baseball Playoffs/World Series, and regular season NFL games.
And this year the cherry on top of it all today: The Giants are in the hunt, big time.
Go Giants & Niners!
Comrade Luke
Hey, does anyone have information on that new feature that was talked about a couple of days ago here, where credit cards issue a “fake”, per transaction number, so you can use that instead of paypal?
I’m trying to find the article(s) but I’m having no luck.
thanks!
Corner Stone
Oh, so edToolbar is not defined in FF any longer. Hmmm.
tim serbo
in the history of the english language, has the phrase “shits tinsel” ever before occurred?
beltane
I’ll guess that Rosie is the culprit. Whoever did it, please do not share pictures of foil flecked dog feces.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Cain: Ben Nelson is the best we can do in Nebraska. Better him than a Republican. He’s with us on everything except.. all the stuff he’s just like a Republican on. See how that works?
burnspbesq
Stop yer whingeing, Cole. At least you don’t have to worry about your kids getting wasted and wrapping the car around a tree, or walking in at breakfast and showing you a test strip that turned blue.
burnspbesq
Shits Tinsel sounds like the name of an indie rock band.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Nom de Plume:
This. And add to it that baseball is generally a whole lot of nothing happening for three hours plus. I don’t have the “likes to watch paint dry” gene so I’ve never been able to stomach a whole lot of baseball. If there’s a compelling narrative behind the game in question, I might be able to handle the last few innings but – and let’s be honest here – baseball for most fans is an excuse for a nap.
Edit: I should add that my favorite sporting event is the NCAA basketball tournament. Nonstop action, great storylines, anything can happen, etc.
tim serbo
Shits Tinsel sounds like the title of a Guided by Voices song.
katherine
@Josie: I bet it’s Lily. I once had one dog that was a perfect angel and one that wasn’t quite as perfect. I always assumed all bad deeds were done by the not so perfect dog. Then, I caught my perfect angel taking a plate of cookies from the counter while the not as perfect dog looked at me with her tail between her legs. Good thing my discipline method was to shake my head, pet her, and say “you’re not supposed to do that.”
Garrigus Carraig
@tim serbo: Almost certainly not.
MikeJ
@Corner Stone: @Betsy:
I’m with you. Fall rocks. I picked huckleberries today, hiked up to 3200′, saw numerous waterfalls, found a geocache, and emerged from the forest inside a cloud that made it appear the programmer had fucked up and forget to have anything at all render where I was.
jacy
The thing I like best about the beginning of football season is that it means it’s almost the beginning of hockey season. Woot!
And Geaux Saints! The only thing positive about living in this hellhole is that we have the Saints. *
*(for some New Orleanians, YMMV and you might find something else that doesn’t suck, but I am here under extreme protest, like a kidnapped princess.)
jl
My money is on Rosie as the trash bandit. If not Rosie, then Tunch trying to frame Rosie.
I do not want to see pics of tinsel in petshit either.
But I do need some evidence that one of Cole’s perfect angelic and totally flawless pets could commit this awful crime, rather than for example, a sleepwalking Cole.
Josie
@katherine: You know, you may be right. We had two cats years ago, one persian and one stray that the kids took in. We started finding pee on the oriental carpet and I put the stray outside until I caught the little persian in the act. The kids still haven’t let me forget that. They swore that Pearl did it on purpose to get Stupid Cat thrown outside. Of course they snuck her back in even before she was cleared.
Roger Moore
@Nom de Plume:
FWIW, baseball has the shortest post-season of any of the major North American sports. There are only three rounds vs. four in the other sports, and the first round is only 5 games instead of 7. That means the playoffs will go no more than 19 games for any team and can be as short as 11 games for the champion. In Basketball and Hockey, the post-season can go as long as 28 games, and is a guaranteed minimum of 16 for the champion. The games are also packed in tighter than in Basketball or Hockey, and there’s nothing like the idiotic extra week of hype before the Superbowl.
burnspbesq
From the delicious irony department.
The US national men’s basketball team plays Lithuania in the semifinals of the world championships. The US team is coached by Mike Krzyzewski of Duke. One of the starters on the Lithuania team is Martynas Pocius, who despite obviously being a major talent and being enormously popular among his fellow students (Marty was, by all accounts, a totally regular kid who went to class and got good grades) was never able to win significant playing time during his college career at … Duke.
This will undoubtedly be the first time in recorded history that the fine upstanding citizens of Chapel Hill will cheer for a former Duke player without guns being held to their heads. Yes, I’m calling y’all out, ya bunch of unpatriotic bastards who will cheer for Lithuania before you’ll cheer for “Coach Ratface,” as you love to call him.
tim serbo
@Garrigus Carraig: well, that was enlightening. i considered resorting to teh gazoogle myself, but that would have been taking the easy way out.
Bruce (formerly Steve S.)
@dmsilev:
That would be fine too. A place for New York sports fans to drink $12 beers, a Trump development, anything but a Muslim community center. We want to be respectful.
Rosalita
I think if it was Lily, she might have done this before Rosie arrived? My money’s on the Jack Russel Terror.
Unless it’s Tunch in which case he might yak the tinsel. I had cat who was a garbage whore. He got into tinfoil used to cook bacon and ate it. The yakked up little balls of it all over the place.
Happy hunting!
Bruce (formerly Steve S.)
@And Another Thing…:
It’s occurred to me that there is a famous Muslim who is actually a beloved figure in America. Do I need to name him, and has anybody asked him his opinion of all this?
tim serbo
@MikeJ: same here. the cool weather that’s descended on nyc is such a relief after the atrocious summer we had. and the sky tonight! i couldn’t possibly have done it justice with a camera. there’s a minor french impressionist by the name of fernand ravier, painted beautiful skies, that’s the closest comparison i can think of.
MikeJ
@Bruce (formerly Steve S.):
No urinals though. It would be disrespectful for people to pee on a grave site.
Redshift
Beats the alternative, though…
Roger Moore
@tim serbo:
Yes.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Roger Moore:
To have it otherwise is to turn a summer sport into a winter sport.
Halteclere
Nice shoe in that picture. I’m wearing the exact same model of Merrells right now.
Anonymous At Work
John,
I’d just cry at the idea of checking 3 pets’ poops for tinsel, regardless of the number of samples containing it.
FlipYrWhig
@Bruce (formerly Steve S.):
Barack Obama?
Just Some Fuckhead
@burnspbesq: Always liked the individual Duke players over the years and Coach K too. It’s the fans that are practically intolerable.
trollhattan
@garage mahal:
Does anybody know whether Surewest in the Sac area can hit 1080p? We switced to them this summer to get HD but I can’t seem to find a published spec, and their Web site and sales staff are equally hopeless.
They at least have a fibre optic backbone on our street and I know the picture looks dang good. When I forced myself to watch World Cup this summer I could not only see the dang ball I could actually see the ball’s rotation, which was a first. I expect real football to be that much more entertaining now. Mebbe I’ll finally understand blocking schemes.
Also, too, my first Dalmation–the tall one–once stole a two-pound frozen chateaubriand from the kitchen sink without a trace, and all we got in return was a big butcher paper turd two days later. At least that mystery was solved.
Cermet
@Daddy-O:People – 2000 IU vitamin D every day (adults) and use 5K to 15K with a bacteria infection! This works – taking 2000 IU/day and after four months, you will avoid most if not all colds (and if you do get a cold, it will last a small fraction of time compared to before.) besides its anti-cancer (proven) effects and numerous other benefits, it will save you $$$ from doctor visits for you and your kids (under thirteen, say 400 IU/day and WalMart sells gummy bears that are just Vit D (so safe even if the child eats the whole bottle by accident.))
John Cole
@Halteclere: Best shoes in the world. I have the lowcut for summer, high-top for winter.
trollhattan
@Roger Moore:
I’d almost buy the comparison if beezboll had single elimination. Let’s change it to one, 15-inning game per playoff. With lasers!
Kirk Spencer
If you’ll cry at finding it in all three, I wonder what you’ll do when (if) you find it in none.
The Dangerman
I’m thinking having 3 pets AND having tinsel out where one (or more) could reach it IS THE OWNERS FAULT. Kinda like a married Guy buying a house next to a Strip Club; just begging for trouble.
South of I-10
I am so glad football is back. I wish I were in New Orleans. Y’all quit bragging about your cool weather, you’re making me jealous!
Just Some Fuckhead
@Kirk Spencer: John Cole’s somnambulatory expeditions will never be made public.
John Cole
@The Dangerman: It was a foil sub wrapper in a 4 ft trashcan.
jeffreyw
Yay! I’ve been getting “can’t find web server” when trying to load BJ all fucking day. I reset my sat modem when a friend sez: “I got BJ fine, no problems here.” Dunno why, but BJ came back up. Was the only site down, everything else workin fine.
BruceFromOhio
@Spaghetti Lee:
Try being a Browns fan.
Go Saints!
Nadnerb in NC
@Max: Yup – Go Bills!!
Lately the first half has been kind to us – our defense just gives out late in the 3rd quarter… By the way, there is a 12 step program, that usually turns into a 24 step program before the season ends. It involves a 12 pack of Labatts or Genny beer (if I can find anything other than Genny screamers down here); remove cap and drink, repeat until the 12 pack is gone. 8-D
Irony Abounds
@Nadnerb in NC:
Sadly, I resemble that remark. But hey, beat the Fins in Week 1 and the playoff talk will start!
patrick II
@Bruce (formerly Steve S.): Barack Obama? I think he said we should let them build the mosque.
BruceFromOhio
@Josie:
I was thinking the same. John didn’t mention this phenomenon before the latest arrival. Lily is too innocent, and Tunch simply knows better.
Crashman
Late to the party, I am.
Finally real football begins. Seems less fun now that we know repeated concussions are reducing every player’s brain to mush.
Oh well. Modern gladiators and all that.
debit
Who are the Saints fans booing?
demkat620
Dudes I am leaving the country for a week on Sun. Thank the FSM I will not have to listen to the week of stupid we are going to have.
I am going to not miss this week of news at all.
Btw, John now you have to deal with Chuck Todd. He thought DMB doing Talking Heads “Wasn’t Bad”
That’s just wrong.
Anya
@BruceFromOhio: sure, pick on the new kid.
Anne Laurie
@Betsy:
__
If you’re in the Northeast, you can go apple picking this weekend — two weeks early, like practically all the foliage this peculiar spring/summer. Local newscasters are solemnly warning people ‘not to wait too long’, because the early strawberry crop caught a lot of weekend pick-your-own daytrippers by surprise. Expect to start hearing about the Halloween pumpkin crop in approximately two weeks…
Autumn is my favorite season, too, but the ragweed season started early and nasty. Itchy, watering eyeballs are driving me nutz already, and when all the furnaces start kicking on, I’m looking forward (not) to a bumper crop of dust mites and mildew as well, alas.
jl
@John Cole:
Well, see. Trash in mere four foot can, with beasts like Tunch (obviously it was Tunch) around?
Probably should check out getting a bear box, like in the national parks.
Looks like Cole can get a two canner for just under a grand.
http://brownbearbox.com/Products.html
Corner Stone
@Bruce (formerly Steve S.): Muhammad Ali?
tesslibrarian
Watching Auburn @Mississippi State, and am pretty impressed with MSU, which is depressing, since they’re in UGA’s rotation this season.
On the upside, Jack is sitting next to me on the sofa. Usually, if my husband isn’t here, he just goes ahead and stakes out his space on the bed. (yay!)
arguingwithsignposts
@BruceFromOhio:
Lily is too innocent, and Tunch
simply knows betteris a cat so he gets whatever he wants.FTFY.
Bruce (formerly Steve S.)
@FlipYrWhig:
@patrick II:
No, this guy is an out of the closet Muslim and his approval rating is above 45%, or at least it used to be.
Bruce (formerly Steve S.)
@Corner Stone:
We have a winner.
Corner Stone
@Bruce (formerly Steve S.): He may be beloved but I doubt he knows what day it is anymore. Still probably smarter than that fucking FL pastor, but not someone I’m going to take the lead from on an issue.
Corner Stone
@Corner Stone: Every time I see that stupid POS , hickified, ignorant son of a bitch “pastor” I want to hold him down and shave every hair from his head. Then use a thick Sharpie to draw angry triangles where his eyebrows used to be.
Fucking cartoon ass motherfucker.
Daddy-O
@FlipYrWhig: You’re wrong, Quiz Kid.
:)
Float like a butterfly
Stang like a bee
I am The Greatest
Muhammad Ali
Daddy-O
Gotta wonder when the teahadists finally figure out there’s a beloved American sports star suffering from an incapacitating disease who’s really a Muslim terrorist.
And, he’s an uppity Negro, too. Perfect.
Daddy-O
@Cermet: Okay, Cermet, I’ll try it–
–as soon as John tries MY remedy.
Gremcat
Mohammad Ali?
Whoops way to late.
WereBear
You can “salt” the suspicious substance beforehand with bits of crayon; it’s non toxic and, ya know, shows up visibly.
Three beasts, three colors.
TrishB
@Quaker in a Basement: You should see what happens when a mini schnauzer eats a couple pounds of periodic cicada shells. It ain’t pretty.
Betsy
@Anne Laurie:
(Hope this isn’t too late… the threads are coming fast and furious tonight!)
I am indeed – not far from where you live, if I’m not mistaken. Just outside Boston on the red line. It would be nice to go apple picking this weekend, what with the new year and all – and I have some unbeatable raw honey to go with them, from a friend’s wife’s Czech dad who keeps bees. OMG so fucking creamy and delicious.
Oh yeah, a sweet year to come to all the BJ’ers celebrating! And to those who aren’t, I suppose.)
oklahomo
@eemom: This is the internet — you’re probably not as alone in this as you think. Kinda depends on the work “like.”
Origuy
Yeah, but I suspect that most of these nuts still call him Cassius Clay and haven’t forgiven him for refusing to go to Vietnam.
FlipYrWhig
@Daddy-O: Wait, wait, I got this one for sure. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar?
db
You’ll cry if you find tinsel in shit?
How about eating some foil, taking a shit, and then see if you don’t cry?
(BTW, my dog learned a long time ago how to tear off baby locks on cupboards…. so every time I leave the house, I have to put up heavy chairs against pantry and cupboard under the sink where trash is located. It looks funny when I bring company over and I try to explain to them that it’s actually the dog and not roaches, vampires, or my brain.)
Dog is My Co-Pilot
My bet’s on Rosie. You didn’t have this problem before you got her, did you? We have a dog we just adopted in April and he likes to tear things up like this. Likes to drag tissues from the garbage and tear them up into teeny, tiny little pieces. He’s still a fairly young dog at 1-1/2, though, so I’ll give him a pass for that.
Egilsson
My cat ate a Christmas ornament once. I found pieces of it under the tree; later, when scooping out the litter box, I found turds gaily festooned with shards of ornament. He seemed perfectly fine. He also ate tinsel, so we stopped using tinsel on trees. He slept on my chest with his face on my cheek. I miss that cat (he passed away years after the ornament/tinsel incidents).
thalarctos
@Betsy: I had a chow once who got into what I thought was a secured cabinet and got into 3 chocolate truffles that had been given as a housewarming present.
Although 3 chocolate truffles seemed like very little risk for a 40-pound dog, I am, nevertheless, a worrier, and so I called Animal Poison Control (a toll call!) to ask what to watch out for.
They reassured me that she would probably be fine (as it turned out, she was), but to look out for any abnormal signs of lethargy.
What they weren’t able to clarify for me was what, exactly, constitutes lethargy in an animal that sleeps 23.5 hours/day.