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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Another Open Thread

Another Open Thread

by John Cole|  September 11, 201010:51 pm| 97 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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Alabama looks unbeatable.

Ohio State looks close.

And I have no idea why I hate Tennessee as much as I do, but I just do. They are up there with Notre Dame as far as teams I hate.

Also, not enough of you read Gin and Tacos. It’s one of those inexplicable things- it is an awesome damned blog, and I read it all the time, yet I never remember to link to it. Now I have. Almost every post I walk away thinking “Wish I had said that, because I sure as hell think it.”

*** Update ***

I’m off to bed. I can’t even muster any enthusiasm to root against USC, because let’s face it, nothing done on the field by their opponents can match the dicking they got from Reggie Bush and company.

Also, I forgot to mention, no new evidence has emerged on our walks as to who the trash bandit might be. My money is on Rosie, but I have no proof.

Speaking of Rosie, I was chuckling tonight at how much she has inserted herself into my life. Lily will always be the one, but Rosalita has done her best to claim this as her home and me as her owner. It is now known by all animals in the house that the space between my legs on the la-z-boy is Rosie’s spot. Everyone else better step back. Also, she is just such a presence. Lily is so dainty and sweet, and quietly goes to bed, and then when I climb in bed, rearranges herself so she is right up next to me in between my chest and my right arm, and she stays there all night.

Not Rosie. Piglet waits until I go to bed, and then hurls her fat self (I will note that she has lost enough weight that she can jump effortlessly on to bed) on to the bed, and then plows through anything in her way (pillow, comforter, foot, Tunch) until she is sleeping in between my ankles. That is “her spot,” god damnit, and nothing better get in the way.

So it goes. There are far worse things than waking up with a stiff back because you were aggressively loved by two dogs and a cat and not allowed to move during the night.

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Reader Interactions

97Comments

  1. 1.

    Omnes Omnibus

    September 11, 2010 at 10:53 pm

    Might the Tennessee hate have something to do with Peyton Manning?

  2. 2.

    jeffreyw

    September 11, 2010 at 10:55 pm

    Feeling a might peckish?

  3. 3.

    Yutsano

    September 11, 2010 at 10:58 pm

    @jeffreyw: That looks so much like banh mi it’s not even funny. Yum!

    Risotto in oven, gonna stuff a pork chop with gruyere and fry that puppy up. Maybe some green beans to round things out. Pardon me while I drool.

  4. 4.

    Squirrel

    September 11, 2010 at 11:00 pm

    Being a Bama fan from Georgia, I fully agree about hating Tennessee. Part of it being their damned Day-glo orange. At least the Great Pumpkin is no longer roaming their sideline. Their fans are amongst the most obnoxious you’ll ever meet too.

  5. 5.

    JGabriel

    September 11, 2010 at 11:02 pm

    John Cole:

    They are up there with Notre Dame as far as teams I hate.

    You anti-papist bigot, you!

    In other news, I was just playing original Doom and now my wrists hurt. No, that’s not a euphemism.

    .

  6. 6.

    Martin

    September 11, 2010 at 11:02 pm

    You hate Tennessee because they’re soçialists that promote the irresponsible donation of labor, ruining an efficient free market.

    Just proves Cole is a true libertarian.

  7. 7.

    JGabriel

    September 11, 2010 at 11:04 pm

    Squirrel:

    Being a Bama fan from Georgia, I fully agree about hating Tennessee. … Their fans are amongst the most obnoxious you’ll ever meet too.

    Bama, Georgia, Tennesee, I can’t tell any of you cracker southerners apart. To these Yankee ears, all y’all sound the same to me.

    .

  8. 8.

    Markk

    September 11, 2010 at 11:04 pm

    You mean UcheaT? Nobody cheats like Tenn. except maybe Auburn. The most awful fans, too.

  9. 9.

    JGabriel

    September 11, 2010 at 11:06 pm

    @Martin:

    You hate Tennessee because they’re soçialists…

    In Tennesee? They’re ciaIists, maybe, but hardly sociaIists.

    .

  10. 10.

    CJR

    September 11, 2010 at 11:07 pm

    I second (or third?) the Tennessee hate

  11. 11.

    Anie

    September 11, 2010 at 11:08 pm

    Go Ducks!

  12. 12.

    jeffreyw

    September 11, 2010 at 11:09 pm

    @Yutsano: It’s true, there is a resemblance.

  13. 13.

    xcentrik debreuklyn

    September 11, 2010 at 11:11 pm

    Re: Tennessee it’s easy for me – I fucking hate “Rocky Top.”

  14. 14.

    Squirrel

    September 11, 2010 at 11:15 pm

    @JGabriel:

    I know it sounds crazy, but if you’re from the south, you can usually tell what state someone is from by their accent and/or dialect. It really is almost like another country. I’ve been gone from there long enough now that I fell like I need a passport to go back.

  15. 15.

    SpotWeld

    September 11, 2010 at 11:19 pm

    The fine print of my University of Michigan states that I obligated to say the following: “Go Blue!”

  16. 16.

    MikeJ

    September 11, 2010 at 11:19 pm

    Alabama was the girl in QT’s True Romance. She was pretty fucking unbeatable.

  17. 17.

    Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther

    September 11, 2010 at 11:21 pm

    Okee dokee I posted this in the last thread because it is genuinely related to discussions of Ground Zero, but it more rightfully belongs here, so I’mma post again:

    MY BLOG GOT A SHOUT-OUT ON NICK KRISTOF’S BLOG TODAY!!

    Ahem: http://kristof.blogs.nytimes.com/

  18. 18.

    El Cid

    September 11, 2010 at 11:26 pm

    The Yes Men are now on Hulu, for free. I’m just now watching the part where they’re explaining to a classroom how burgers that first world consumers eat and then shit can be recycled for nutritious re-burgers for 3rd world residents.

  19. 19.

    jeffreyw

    September 11, 2010 at 11:28 pm

    @Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther: Yay!

  20. 20.

    Objective Scrutator

    September 11, 2010 at 11:32 pm

    I further the hate for the Tennessee fans, and I attend college here! (Admittedly, I hate all football and the fans which accompany it.)

    The Tennessean commonly exhibits aggression towards other teams, but my fellow Blue Staters need not worry. Seeing things in black and white, the Tennessean despises the teams of Alabama and Florida with a passion, while largely not directing their hatred further north.

    At least our wingnuts (Wamp & Ramsey) lost handily to Haslam in the governor’s race, although Haslam didn’t win a majority. Sadly, the great Basil Marceaux will not be our governor. Woe is our state!

  21. 21.

    patrick II

    September 11, 2010 at 11:34 pm

    Robert Farley at LGM has the classic Tennesse hater video

  22. 22.

    Cacti

    September 11, 2010 at 11:35 pm

    Peyton Manning just made it easier to hate UT.

    I still laugh when I think about Tee Martin winning a national championship at UT the year after Peyton left.

    Guess which one has a street named after them on the UT campus?

  23. 23.

    MattR

    September 11, 2010 at 11:37 pm

    Surprisingly good SNL repeat with Peyton Manning

  24. 24.

    Objective Scrutator

    September 11, 2010 at 11:47 pm

    You moonbats had best hope that we don’t have a President Glenn Reynolds and a First Lady Helen Reynolds! His governing style would undoubtedly be one of few words, and one of few actions, something which would make coastal elitist heads explode. Heh, indeed!

  25. 25.

    BruceFromOhio

    September 11, 2010 at 11:50 pm

    LURE IT INTO THE BASEMENT. WE’LL BURN THE HOUSE DOWN ON TOP OF IT.

    I can’t wait to use this at a team meeting.

    Gin and Tacos is now a regular stop. Thank you for sharing.

  26. 26.

    MikeJ

    September 11, 2010 at 11:50 pm

    @Objective Scrutator: I uhm, dated, if that’s the word, a girl who went there back in the day when Vatican Pizza existed. I thought K-town was great fun, but it was all cheap sex and judybats and Alliwannadois.

    Mousse it, gel it, I don’t care…

  27. 27.

    schooner

    September 11, 2010 at 11:52 pm

    Ed at Gin and Tacos writes beautifully funny rants. I suggest you start with this one if you don’t know him. It’s from awhile back but timeless.

    http://www.ginandtacos.com/2009/03/10/seriously-fuck-ayn-rand/

  28. 28.

    cleter

    September 11, 2010 at 11:53 pm

    Well, I figure any place that would give Glenn Reynolds tenure is worth hating.

  29. 29.

    themann1086

    September 12, 2010 at 12:01 am

    I’m sitting in my nd shirt feeling sad. Mucking fichigan.

  30. 30.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN)

    September 12, 2010 at 12:05 am

    Does it make me a bad person that I was kind of rooting for Notre Dame today? I hate those *#$!&#^, but I have an ambivalent relationship with Michigan (grew up in Ann Arbor; my father’s on the faculty there; I’m a Minnesota alum who is used to getting the crap kicked out of us by Michigan most years and finding excruciating ways to lose in the rest). I also loathe Rich Rodriguez, though probably not as much as my father does.

    He better die soon, because if he doesn’t, he’s going to finish his life in prison after burning down the entire athletic department. I can’t say that I blame him.

  31. 31.

    burnspbesq

    September 12, 2010 at 12:06 am

    Odd, not hearing anything about the “lowly Pac-10” from any SEC fans tonight.

  32. 32.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN)

    September 12, 2010 at 12:07 am

    @MikeJ:

    I thought K-town was great fun, but it was all cheap sex and judybats and Alliwannadois.

    Why don’t I ever find towns like this?

  33. 33.

    Mark S.

    September 12, 2010 at 12:07 am

    @schooner:

    This is my favorite:

    I have a hard time watching these videos and coming to any conclusion other than that the GOP is the single most brilliant group of politicians in the history of mankind. Can you imagine the skill necessary to tell voters who come to you with problems to fuck off when you can’t manage to avoid them altogether and still win 45% of the vote in Presidential elections? To be threatening to take back seats in Congress? To have legions of morbidly obese, uninsured, diabetic hillbillies ready to take to the streets with guns to prevent health care reform? This party operates out of a playbook that appears to have been written by Skeletor and they win elections.

  34. 34.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN)

    September 12, 2010 at 12:08 am

    @burnspbesq:

    Odd, not hearing anything about the “lowly Pac-10” from any SEC fans tonight.

    Is beating Syracuse that impressive? Hell, the Gophers have done that.

  35. 35.

    burnspbesq

    September 12, 2010 at 12:09 am

    @That’s Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN):

    Michigan also treated Tommy Amaker like crap, which we Dookies do not forgive. Earnestly hoping for a Harvard – Michigan matchup in some future NCAA tournament.

  36. 36.

    BruceFromOhio

    September 12, 2010 at 12:10 am

    @schooner:

    Delicious. I’m ready to dig out the bottle of Tanqueray and chop some cheese and lettuce.

  37. 37.

    sherifffruitfly

    September 12, 2010 at 12:11 am

    Ohio St. looks thoroughly beatable. Miami isn’t actually all that good – and they racked up points against THE Ohio State.

    I wouldn’t be surprised if oh st collects 2 losses this season.

  38. 38.

    burnspbesq

    September 12, 2010 at 12:12 am

    @That’s Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN):

    Who do you think handed the Dog Gack Orange their asses in the Battle of the Ugly Unis? That would be your Oregon Ducks.

  39. 39.

    burnspbesq

    September 12, 2010 at 12:13 am

    The Duke defense gave up 54 points to Wake Forest today.

    If Alabama doesn’t get 80, they should be embarrassed.

    Who scheduled this game, anyway?

  40. 40.

    tesslibrarian

    September 12, 2010 at 12:14 am

    Tennessee never learned how to win well, even when they were able to do it regularly. You never want to attend a game there, and you just hope the clean-up doesn’t take forever after they leave. After hiring Lane Kiffin, they deserve what they get.

  41. 41.

    MikeJ

    September 12, 2010 at 12:18 am

    @That’s Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN): Now you’re a co-conspirator. I know that whatshisname, the singer from the judybats, who wrote a hojillion great songs, hates being known for that stupid, catchy, fun tune. And you repeated the title.

    But if you like stupid 90s pop songs, the judybats were hard to beat.

  42. 42.

    schooner

    September 12, 2010 at 12:18 am

    @Mark S.:

    That’s a great one too.

    It must be hilarious to take a class with him.

  43. 43.

    Villago Delenda Est

    September 12, 2010 at 12:19 am

    My Oregon Ducks RULE the horrible uni competition with any team…Oregon is the test bed for Nike’s fashion atrocities.

  44. 44.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN)

    September 12, 2010 at 12:20 am

    @burnspbesq:

    That would be your Oregon Ducks.

    They aren’t my Oregon Ducks.

    I may have an ambivalent relationship with Michigan athletics, but I have no problem rooting for them over Sanctimony U and Saint K of Durham. I used to root for Duke. Really, I did. They lost me over the years, though, and I now can’t stand them. At all. Go Tarheels.

    Amaker was treated poorly, and I did feel kind of bad for him despite his alma mater. If he’d spent any time looking into the history of Michigan basketball, back to the Bill Frieder days, nothing that happened to him should have come as a surprise. Fortunately, I barely consider basketball a sport (any sport in which the announcers start screaming, “THEY NEED TO FOUL!” has at least one serious problem) and don’t follow it at all, so whatever goes on within it mostly doesn’t resonate with me. Except that I hate Duke. And Kentucky. And Bobby Knight.

  45. 45.

    mcd410x

    September 12, 2010 at 12:21 am

    @cleter: I really can’t understand how Instapundit living off the public teat isn’t a scandal. Not to mention blogging on the state’s dime and probably on the state’s equipment.

  46. 46.

    Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther

    September 12, 2010 at 12:21 am

    There are far worse things than waking up with a stiff back because you were aggressively loved by two dogs and a cat and not allowed to move during the night.

    Very true, my friend. Rock on, all four of you, with your bad selves!

  47. 47.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN)

    September 12, 2010 at 12:22 am

    @MikeJ:

    I know that whatshisname, the singer from the judybats, who wrote a hojillion great songs, hates being known for that stupid, catchy, fun tune. And you repeated the title.

    I did? Uhm, where? I’m just curious.

    I was really just commenting on the cheap sex part. You can have the rest, since I don’t know what it is.

  48. 48.

    Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther

    September 12, 2010 at 12:22 am

    @jeffreyw: Thank you!

    /does Snoopy dance lacking all dignity.

  49. 49.

    schooner

    September 12, 2010 at 12:24 am

    @BruceFromOhio:

    He faithfully posts Monday to Friday once a day with Fridays reserved for non politics (he even gets some hockey stuff in there so as a Canadian it’s a bonus for me.)

    I found him thru TBogg’s blogroll and have read him for a couple of years.

    Hopefully John’s plug will ramp up his traffic.

  50. 50.

    jharp

    September 12, 2010 at 12:25 am

    @sherifffruitfly:

    I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t. As a matter of fact I’m all in that Ohio State doesn’t lose two.

  51. 51.

    Steeplejack

    September 12, 2010 at 12:28 am

    @JGabriel:

    Can I still find Doom or, better yet, Doom II around anywhere? My copies are long gone, but I used to have a hard disk filled with hundreds of add-on levels collected from all over. Would love to go back and relive the action, assuming they’re available somewhere on the Intertubes. Also Heretic, which was built on the Doom II engine, I think. That was also very good and spawned a ton of add-on levels.

    Ah, memories . . .

  52. 52.

    ImJohnGalt

    September 12, 2010 at 12:34 am

    I just saw “Inside Job” here at the Toronto Film Festival, and I’m surprised everyone inside didn’t rush out, buy every torch and pitchfork in the city, and storm Bay Street (our equivalent to Wall St.). It was devastating in its attempt to direct our anger at the people who are culpable in the financial meltdown.

    Nobody escapes here: The banks, the Congress, the ratings agencies, the presidents (Republican AND Democratic, including the Obama Administration), the Fed, and even (something I hadn’t really considered) the academics and economists who are completely in bed with the banks and are molding the minds of the profiteers of tomorrow.

    It was amazing to watch a lot of the people interviewed stammer when asked direct questions about their role, and see their shock when they are not allowed to lie or spout complete bullshit as answers to these uncomfortable questions. Some of them get hostile when they realize they’ve been ambushed, especially the current Dean of Harvard University, who comes across very badly.

    No matter what your political ideology, I think it will be difficult to walk out of the movie without thinking that the government and the financial lobbyist, when it hasn’t directly contributed to this problem, is at best trying to solve it with a tepid, ineffective response.

    When it comes out, take your Republican family members with whom you can’t talk about this stuff to see it. If they can’t at least concede a few of the points the movie makes, they are irredeemably lost.

  53. 53.

    Steeplejack

    September 12, 2010 at 12:42 am

    @Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther:

    Kudos on making the big show. Now it’s only a matter of time until you’re co-opted into the MSM Borg.

  54. 54.

    Mr. Upright

    September 12, 2010 at 12:44 am

    Cacti @23:

    Ooh, I know! Both Peyton Manning and Tee Martin have streets on campus named for them, as do Chamique Holdsclaw and Todd Helton.

  55. 55.

    BruceFromOhio

    September 12, 2010 at 12:46 am

    @MattR:

    He may be a nice guy. He may even be funny. He might even be arguably one of the greats. But his agent went batshit fucking crazy with the teevee deals last season, and the motherfuckers face was in my living room every time I powered up. If I ever have the misfortune to see PM in person, I’ll want to just punch with both fists until the cops taser my ass into oblivion or I die, whichever happens first.

  56. 56.

    Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther

    September 12, 2010 at 12:51 am

    @Steeplejack: Oh man. From your mouth to FSM’s ear.

  57. 57.

    Mark S.

    September 12, 2010 at 12:55 am

    Speaking of video games, I just finished Batman Arkham Asylum. It was pretty good but I have a few nits. One of the big parts of the game is solving, well mostly finding, things left by the Riddler. There are like 200 of them. I inadvertently beat the game before I found every last goddamn one of them, so I looked on the Internet for what I would get for finding all of them. An Achievement Trophy. Whoopee.

    Well, you get experience points that go to upgrades, and some of them are pretty vital but some of them unlock moves that require you to press about six buttons simultaneously to execute, which is a tad unnecessary since you can dispatch about 80% of your foes by mashing the X button.

    Well, it gives me an excuse to link the funniest game reviewer in the world.

  58. 58.

    asiangrrlMN

    September 12, 2010 at 12:55 am

    @Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther: Oh, Emily, that’s fantastic and well-deserved. A hearty congrats to you!

    Cole, I love story of the animals, but I’m DYING for a Tunchie pic. A vid of his reaction to Rosie bowling him over in her eagerness to get to her spot would be appreciated, too.

  59. 59.

    MattR

    September 12, 2010 at 12:55 am

    @BruceFromOhio: Heh. The opening monologue had a bit about how he accomplished both of his life’s goals recently. He was appearing in half of all commercials on TV and his team won the Super Bowl.

  60. 60.

    Steeplejack

    September 12, 2010 at 12:57 am

    @Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther:

    Just please remember us little people over whose backs you clawed your way to the top.

  61. 61.

    asiangrrlMN

    September 12, 2010 at 1:00 am

    @Steeplejack: Hi, Steepman. How you be?

    @Mark S.: I love this comic. That is all.

  62. 62.

    Violet

    September 12, 2010 at 1:01 am

    @Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther: Very cool! Congrats!

    Love the stories of how your critters live with you, John. Rosie seems like quite the determined dog. That’s her place, dammit. Everyone else get out of the way.

  63. 63.

    moe99

    September 12, 2010 at 1:04 am

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vt2BAfhUHX0&feature=player_embedded

    This guy says it best, why Tennessee is so hateful.

  64. 64.

    Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther

    September 12, 2010 at 1:04 am

    @asiangrrlMN: Didn’t someone recently mention cameras that had been set up in John Cole’s bedroom? Surely they must have caught the Rosie action! I demand to see the tapes!

    (And thank you! Squee!)

    @Steeplejack: You got it. I’ll bemoan the blogosphere and all its pajama-wearing minions every chance I got.

    Oh and now I see Violet! Thanks to you, too!

  65. 65.

    Yutsano

    September 12, 2010 at 1:05 am

    @Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther: I’m just warning you right now these things get started and they can be demons to deal with. The rabbi who wrote this is also an old dear friend of mine. I was supposed to meet up with him when I went to Atlanta but that is its own (rather entertaining) story. Oh and last I heard he was still single, so if you know any good gay Jewish boys in their mid 30s to mid 40’s, feel free to play matchmaker. Josh is too sweet to be single.

    @asiangrrlMN: MUAH!!

    I might have more but I’m starting somewhere. Oh and I got to link to a Weird Al song.

  66. 66.

    Steeplejack

    September 12, 2010 at 1:06 am

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Very, very tired, but very, very happy, because I am starting my weekend. Yay. Already +2 and ready to keep going until dawn, if necessary. Although I reserve the right to keel over and go to sleep at any moment.

    Tomorrow’s weather looks perfect: high in the mid-70s, rain in the morning. Me likey. I may not get dressed all day, just orbit from the computer to the TV to the bed. Ecstasy.

  67. 67.

    BGinCHI

    September 12, 2010 at 1:10 am

    Cole, after reading your update I have no idea why you aren’t killing the ladies.

  68. 68.

    asiangrrlMN

    September 12, 2010 at 1:16 am

    @Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther: Cameras in Cole’s bedroom? I am intrigued. Do tell. And, you have really made the big time, bay-bee. I love the story of how your husband told you!

    @Yutsano: Um, you are a good gay Jewish boy, and single (only fake-married to moi and to FH#1 by extension) in your thirties. I’m just sayin’. Oooooh, you may have more? Color me intrigued!

    @Steeplejack: Good for you! Did you ever find the perfect beer?

  69. 69.

    Objective Scrutator

    September 12, 2010 at 1:18 am

    @MikeJ:

    What’s wrong with that?

    Knoxville actually has a very fun Downtown area. The Sunsphere at the World’s Fair Park is pretty cool, too, and the town isn’t as socially conservative as you’d think it is. Other than that, it’s nothing special, but not as bad as Johnson City. That’s a town of slobbering rednecks.

    @Gin and Tacos: It is appropriate that they refer to Brownback’s opponent as literacy.

  70. 70.

    Yutsano

    September 12, 2010 at 1:26 am

    @asiangrrlMN: Josh and I liked each other a lot, but our biggest issue was distance. He was very settled in Atlanta and I’m a Northwest kid through and through. One of the reasons I went to the wedding was to see if I could live down there or not. It was all right, but it wasn’t home. We did discuss a potential relationship, Josh really is a big sweetheart. Here’s the funniest thing about him: he’s also a competitive bodybuilder. Go ahead and wrap your gourd around a gay bodybuilding rabbi. It’s like the end of some weird joke or something.

  71. 71.

    Steeplejack

    September 12, 2010 at 1:27 am

    @BGinCHI:

    No room in the bed would be my guess.

  72. 72.

    asiangrrlMN

    September 12, 2010 at 1:28 am

    @Yutsano: That is funny, but I like people who break the stereotypes. Aw, what a romantic story. Sniff sniff. Star-crossed lovers separated by geography (and yeah, he’s cute).

  73. 73.

    El Cid

    September 12, 2010 at 1:30 am

    Thomas Friedman has a sad because all us regular folks out here don’t have the Ben Franklinesque Greatest Generation gumption & values to compete with those glories of successful development, India and China, the latter being the one with 700 million peasants to this day.

    Rothkopf and I agreed that we would get excited about U.S. politics when our national debate is between Democrats and Republicans who start by acknowledging that we can’t cut deficits without both tax increases and spending cuts — and then debate which ones and when — who acknowledge that we can’t compete unless we demand more of our students — and then debate longer school days versus school years — who acknowledge that bad parents who don’t read to their kids and do indulge them with video games are as responsible for poor test scores as bad teachers — and debate what to do about that.
    __
    Who will tell the people? China and India have been catching up to America not only via cheap labor and currencies. They are catching us because they now have free markets like we do, education like we do, access to capital and technology like we do, but, most importantly, values like our Greatest Generation had. That is, a willingness to postpone gratification, invest for the future, work harder than the next guy and hold their kids to the highest expectations.
    __
    In a flat world where everyone has access to everything, values matter more than ever. Right now the Hindus and Confucians have more Protestant ethics than we do, and as long as that is the case we’ll be No. 11!

    You know, because the way the Chinese went from being a (relatively) isolated Communist economy to the offshore base of US corporate manufacturing was, um, the, uh, values of its people, or something, or maybe there was one or another government policy involved, but, I’m sure it was more about them reading Thomas Friedman and other pop sociologists talk about values.

    I feel so bad about my role in deregulating financial regulations and allowing banks to become gambling institutions with trillions of fictitious investments in CDO’s and derivatives.

    I feel so bad that the government has failed to ask more from me.

    I feel confused that the Chinese had “Confucian” values both before and during the Maoist revolution as well as after the opening of the economy to capitalist investment, and weren’t doing well in Western investment before them, but now somehow their Confucian values turn out to be profitable. Oh well.

    If only I’d had better values.

  74. 74.

    Steeplejack

    September 12, 2010 at 1:33 am

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Did you ever find the perfect beer?

    Careful, you’re touching a nerve there. I was very irritated last night and this morning, then finally got over it and laughed about it. I never did get an answer to my (I thought) simple question, but I got a ton of lifestyle advice on buying a bicycle, etc. Communication on the Intertubes–or the lack thereof. Right now I’m sucking down a perfectly adequate Sam Adams Irish Red.

    Your advice was probably the best: stick with gin and tonic (or rum and tonic). Or champagne. There is always champagne. (Got a bottle in the refrigerator, but I won’t touch it tonight. Saving it for later.)

  75. 75.

    asiangrrlMN

    September 12, 2010 at 1:35 am

    @El Cid: It’s the hypothetical couch for you tonight for making me read Friedman. I can actually feel my brain cells diminishing (don’t want to use the abbreviation in case I rouse slumbering trolls) as I skimmed his words. He and McArdle should go run off together and leave the rest of us alone.

    @Steeplejack: I know. I thought it was funny how everyone gave you all kinds of advice except for what you actually requested. Me, too, but at least I have a valid excuse–all beer tastes like piss* to me.

    *How I imagine piss would taste.

  76. 76.

    El Cid

    September 12, 2010 at 1:47 am

    @asiangrrlMN: The cure would be to watch The Yes Men on Hulu.

    These guys have gonads the size of Kansas. If you haven’t heard of them, you really won’t believe it when they get in front of the meeting of trade panel discussants as the WTO representatives and demonstrate the gold suit with the giant inflatable phallus to remote control sweatshop workers, or when they’re acting as WTO representatives telling a classroom how we can help the 3rd world by recycling the fast food we 1st worlders eat and shit out as brand new food for the poor, you see some really bizarre reality warping at work.

  77. 77.

    asiangrrlMN

    September 12, 2010 at 2:00 am

    @El Cid: OK. But, if I am not impressed, then I’m coming back to give you the fish-eye. Goddamn it. It’s for ‘mature audiences’, which means I have to register. Don’t wanna.

  78. 78.

    Yutsano

    September 12, 2010 at 2:06 am

    @El Cid:

    But, if I am not impressed, then I’m coming back to give you the fish-eye.

    U no want this. Trust me very much on this point. Whatever else happens, you do NOT want this.

  79. 79.

    El Cid

    September 12, 2010 at 2:06 am

    @asiangrrlMN: The only problem with the movie is that a lot of it is the background to the absurd public events. I’m sure the prime selections are on YouTube. But you just can’t get too much more ridiculous than this.

    Keep in mind that this is all happening in front of a sober audience of people involved in world trade and financial and regulation affairs. They think Andy is really the representative of the WTO about to give one of the standard presentations with PowerPoint and what not.

    [As the impostor representative of the World Trade Organization, Andy Bichelbaum of the Yes Men explain that] The only problem still remaining with the efficiency of today’s sweatshops, Andy continues, is a lack of control over workers. A manager in New York cannot constantly monitor workers in Rangoon. But there is a technological answer.
    __
    He spreads his arms out, and Mike rips off Andy’s breakaway business suit to reveal the management solution of the future: a shimmering golden leotard—which, when Andy pulls a rip-cord in his crotch, sports a three-foot-long golden phallus.
    __
    Andy explains that this tool, the “Employee Visualization Appendage,” will allow the manager of the future to watch and control far-off workers while engaging in healthful leisure activities.
    __
    The goal of this performance, of course, is to clarify how dangerous it is to equate human freedom with a free market. Demonstrating visually the logical conclusion of neoliberalism, Mike and Andy hope to make their audience think twice.
    __
    Instead, the audience rewards Andy with a healthy round of applause, but no questions. A reporter takes photos. The conference leader thanks the WTO for its presentation three times in public, and seats Andy at the table of honor, right across from his daughter. All day, in fact, Mike and Andy come up again and again against a blank wall: a couple of people admit being mystified by the appendage, but no one is bothered by the content of the speech, including when they’re reminded about the slavery issue. Finally they find one woman who admits being terribly offended—because Andy’s “Appendage” implies that only men can be factory managers too.
    __
    If the conference attendees blithely followed the Yes Men down such nightmarish paths, real business leaders must be able to convince these “experts” of anything. Which is exactly what they have done…

  80. 80.

    El Cid

    September 12, 2010 at 2:07 am

    @asiangrrlMN: Truly fresh fish have beautiful, clear eyes.

  81. 81.

    Mark S.

    September 12, 2010 at 2:12 am

    @El Cid:

    I think sometime around 2003 Thomas Friedman and David Brooks merged into the same person. They are practically indistinguishable now.

    And I am sick of the mythologizing of the Greatest Generation. They were often isolationist and paranoid. They were sure as hell racist. We didn’t get out of the Depression because everyone listened to their leaders and sacrificed; we got out of it because the war finally provided the Keynesian stimulus we needed. And the war in Europe was decided on the Eastern front, not at D-day.

  82. 82.

    El Cid

    September 12, 2010 at 2:14 am

    @asiangrrlMN: By the way, if not the Yes Men, there’s always Olde English (not the malt liquor).

  83. 83.

    Cacti

    September 12, 2010 at 2:15 am

    @Mr. Upright:

    I must have missed Tee Martin’s street last time I was at UT, or maybe it hadn’t been named as such. It was several years ago.

  84. 84.

    El Cid

    September 12, 2010 at 2:17 am

    @Mark S.: What are you talking about? People just up and volunteered to fight in WWII, and self-organized the missions and battles via their person values of thrift and gumption.

  85. 85.

    asiangrrlMN

    September 12, 2010 at 2:22 am

    @El Cid: I no could find golden phallus on YouTube. Why must they oppress me from viewing auric penii? #Fish-eye stare#

    @El Cid: Bwahahahahahahahaha! #Retracts the fish-eye stare and accepts you back in the bedroom. Break out the Ommunist!#

  86. 86.

    El Cid

    September 12, 2010 at 2:27 am

    @asiangrrlMN: You like that one, try Stephen the Vegan.

    I found a 4 gallon jug of Ommunis at CostCo.

  87. 87.

    asiangrrlMN

    September 12, 2010 at 2:39 am

    @El Cid: Hehehehe. That’s chuckle-worthy, but not as funny as the first one. A gallon jug? Oh, bayyyyyy-beeeeee!

  88. 88.

    Ecks

    September 12, 2010 at 2:47 am

    I can’t believe that you lot got 87 comments in without anybody noticing that our hosts admits to being “aggressively loved by two dogs” all night long.

    You can take the man out of the Republican party…

    ;)

  89. 89.

    Swellsman

    September 12, 2010 at 8:18 am

    About ten years ago I lived with a woman who had two cats. I had two English Bulldogs. It took a while for the four of them to sort themselves out, but they did eventually.

    Anyway, I still remember waking up on some mornings with the giro, next to me, the two cats sprawled between us, and both dogs slumbering on our feet. I always liked those mornings.

  90. 90.

    Comrade Mary

    September 12, 2010 at 9:05 am

    Piglet waits until I go to bed, and then hurls her fat self (I will note that she has lost enough weight that she can jump effortlessly on to bed) on to the bed, and then plows through anything in her way (pillow, comforter, foot, Tunch) until she is sleeping in between my ankles.

    I’m trying to envision something, ANYTHING, that could plow through Tunch and live. Do you think you could loan Rosie to the miner rescue operations? I think they could use her sheer kineticism to cut down the timeline by a couple of months.

  91. 91.

    El Cid

    September 12, 2010 at 9:16 am

    Okay, that was weird. I just saw a Red Bull commercial in which a kid asks his mother if he can go to ‘the gentlemen’s club’. She says, “When pigs fly.” Of course, next there’s the cranked-up pigs on Red Bull flying past the window. Next thing you know the kid’s in front of a stage with what is clearly a stripper in front of him dancing.

    What the fucking fuck?

  92. 92.

    spudvol

    September 12, 2010 at 9:36 am

    Not exactly feeling the love from you ACC’ers. Oh well, you’ll always be ACC’ers so I guess that is punishment enough.

  93. 93.

    JGabriel

    September 12, 2010 at 11:05 am

    Steeplejack:

    Can I still find Doom or, better yet, Doom II around anywhere?

    I’m pretty sure you can, but I don’t know where. I loaded it from old CDs that were lying around. You’ll need DOSBox, or some other DOS emulator, to run it in Windows.

    … And a quick glance shows that you can get Doom and Doom II at Steam for $10 each.

    .

  94. 94.

    Dog is My Co-Pilot

    September 12, 2010 at 11:12 am

    Sheesh, I thought we had it bad by having one, little 13-pound dog sleeping between us all night.

  95. 95.

    Steeplejack

    September 12, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    @JGabriel:

    Thanks. I should have thought of that.

  96. 96.

    Amir_Khalid

    September 12, 2010 at 1:56 pm

    I keep having this horrible thought: What if John Cole finally finds the tinsel in his own poop?

  97. 97.

    Bob L

    September 12, 2010 at 4:43 pm

    So anti-colonialism is anti-American? I guess we need to make George Washington a non person now.

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