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You are here: Home / Politics / Christine Fucking O’Donnell

Christine Fucking O’Donnell

by DougJ|  September 15, 20108:54 pm| 92 Comments

This post is in: Politics

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Expect to hear this a lot on the intertubes the next month, obviously.

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Previous Post: « Correlation Errors 101
Next Post: Open Thread: Astroturfing with Chinese Characteristics »

Reader Interactions

92Comments

  1. 1.

    AhabTRuler

    September 15, 2010 at 8:54 pm

    I’m sorry, that song sucked.

  2. 2.

    DougJ

    September 15, 2010 at 8:56 pm

    @AhabTRuler:

    I think it’s pretty catchy.

  3. 3.

    AhabTRuler

    September 15, 2010 at 8:56 pm

    This one isn’t much better, but I offer it for your consideration nonetheless.

    @DougJ: Catchy /= good. YMMV.

  4. 4.

    arguingwithsignposts

    September 15, 2010 at 8:57 pm

    I think it’s pretty catchy too. crazy times when our national political discourse is dominated by masturbat1on. Well … more so than usual.

  5. 5.

    DougJ

    September 15, 2010 at 8:59 pm

    @AhabTRuler:

    Why Can’t I Touch It is a good song, though. There’s some other Buzzcock song I like as well.

  6. 6.

    AhabTRuler

    September 15, 2010 at 9:01 pm

    @DougJ: Oh yes, quite. There are few great Buzzcocks songs, I just don’t think that “Orgasm Addict” is one of them.

  7. 7.

    General Stuck

    September 15, 2010 at 9:01 pm

    My favorite tune of the 80’s, or early 90’s maybe with this one. Don’t worry about the words, it’s all about the pictures, and the beat, as it were.

    My second favorite 80’s tune is this one that may be applicable to miss purity pants.

  8. 8.

    MikeJ

    September 15, 2010 at 9:01 pm

    Last night I posted a link to PJ Harvey’s Rub til it bleeds. Which seems appropriate.

  9. 9.

    freelancer

    September 15, 2010 at 9:02 pm

    I don’t know if you were up last night, but I posted in one of the OT’s, Cracked 15 best songs about self-love.

  10. 10.

    eric

    September 15, 2010 at 9:02 pm

    Not to be pedantic, but I believe that “Christine Fucking O’Donnell” is truly an oxymoron. And a moron.

  11. 11.

    Chris G.

    September 15, 2010 at 9:03 pm

    Have I mentioned that it would be awful for people to join her Facebook page and then post this and similar videos to her wall, the way people did to DeMint with “Waterloo” after health care reform passed?

  12. 12.

    Lev

    September 15, 2010 at 9:05 pm

    How about the end of Sexual Healing?

  13. 13.

    mr. whipple

    September 15, 2010 at 9:05 pm

    @freelancer: From the link:

    Pictures of Lily made my life so wonderful.
    Pictures of Lily helped me sleep at night.
    Pictures of Lily solved my childhood problems.
    Pictures of Lily helped me feel alright.

    Ew. Woof.

  14. 14.

    valdivia

    September 15, 2010 at 9:07 pm

    You’re on fire tonight. Post title FTW.

  15. 15.

    Comrade Mary

    September 15, 2010 at 9:07 pm

    @freelancer: They put Pump It Up in first place, but I prefer Mystery Dance.

    Well I was down under the covers in the middle of the night,
    tryin’ to discover my left foot from my right.
    You can see those pictures in any magazine.
    But what’s the use of looking when you don’t know what they mean.

    Base sexual footnote: the song is from his first album, with the American band Clover backing him up, which later turned into Huey Lewis and the News, who were no great shakes musically, but word is that Mr. Lewis was seriously packing.

  16. 16.

    beltane

    September 15, 2010 at 9:08 pm

    O’Donnell did not adequately explain why masturbation is so evil. She didn’t even bother claiming it makes one go blind or any of that other good stuff. She kind of went from “lust is God-given” to “If he jerks off he’s not really that into me” to “young people should not masturbate”. Her argument was not a convincing one.

  17. 17.

    El Cid

    September 15, 2010 at 9:09 pm

    How soon will the Christine O’Donner Party Sexual Escapades show be revealed?

  18. 18.

    valdivia

    September 15, 2010 at 9:09 pm

    @beltane:

    ’cause it makes God angry?

  19. 19.

    Daddy-O

    September 15, 2010 at 9:10 pm

    You know who ELSE thinks masturbation is adultery–or the equivalent thereof, especially regarding internet porns?

    Dr. Phil…

  20. 20.

    Omnes Omnibus

    September 15, 2010 at 9:12 pm

    @Chris G.: That would be awful and you would be a bad person if you were to suggest it which you didn’t so that’s okay.

  21. 21.

    WereBear

    September 15, 2010 at 9:12 pm

    She bops! She bops!

    Actually, thanks to my early immersion in Southern Baptist culture, I coulda been a Tea Party grifter contender.

    But this was not a major my college offered, and I was distracted by the study hall/orgy rooms thing. Dang.

  22. 22.

    beltane

    September 15, 2010 at 9:12 pm

    @Chris G.: That would be mean and horrible. I hope none of you would consider doing such a mean, horrible and sinful thing. Let us pray.

  23. 23.

    WaterGirl

    September 15, 2010 at 9:12 pm

    @freelancer: I can’t believe they left out Rosie – by Jackson Browne! Great song.

    Edit: I’m afraid to ggogle it myself for obvious reasons, but I wonder if her name is now one of the top hits for masturbation.

  24. 24.

    Lev

    September 15, 2010 at 9:12 pm

    @beltane: Because unless pleasure comes directly from God, or is explicitly sanctioned by Him, then it is evil. That the Bible specifically said that God said what he created was good is beside the point. It’s the fundie mindset.

  25. 25.

    Daddy-O

    September 15, 2010 at 9:12 pm

    @beltane: She must have forgotten to mention King Onan in the Old Testament, who was turned into a pillar of salt or some such shit for ‘spilling his seed on the ground’.

    An abomination in the eyes of the Lord, and every two-bit preacher shearing the sheep.

  26. 26.

    Davis X. Machina

    September 15, 2010 at 9:13 pm

    I’d like to laugh, but I’m still hurt from being manipulated and condescended to.

    Maybe tomorrow.

  27. 27.

    freelancer

    September 15, 2010 at 9:13 pm

    @beltane:

    Really? A Christian idiot’s apologetics to guilt-driven dogma wasn’t convincing? I’m shocked. Utterly (great, now I said “utter” and it made me think “udder” and now I’m thinking about tits. Then again, it’s been about 20 minutes since I thought about tits so I was about due anyways)

  28. 28.

    Daddy-O

    September 15, 2010 at 9:13 pm

    @WaterGirl:

    Honey, let me introduce you
    To my Redneck Friend

    ;-)

  29. 29.

    PurpleGirl

    September 15, 2010 at 9:15 pm

    O’Donnell makes me think of Cyndi Lauper’s She Bop.

    And Turning Japanese.

  30. 30.

    Zam

    September 15, 2010 at 9:15 pm

    I went blind in one eye a couple months ago, now when ever someone asks why I tell them it was from the self love.

  31. 31.

    beltane

    September 15, 2010 at 9:18 pm

    @valdivia: But an angry God should do something, like make the offending male’s pee-pee fall off when touched. O’Donnell seems offended that human imagination has any role in sexuality. Even music and candles are probably wrong to her. Fifty years ago she would have been called a bitter old spinster, now they call her hot. How strange.

  32. 32.

    MikeJ

    September 15, 2010 at 9:18 pm

    @AhabTRuler:

    There are few great Buzzcocks songs, I just don’t think that “Orgasm Addict” is one of them.

    When I was doing mornings at KCOU, the PD let me know in no uncertain terms that he did not like having his alarm clock go off at 6:30 every morning with Orgasm Addict playing. Of course once I knew what time his alarm was set for, I followed orders and always managed to find something really obnoxious.

  33. 33.

    C Nelson Reilly

    September 15, 2010 at 9:19 pm

    Harry Palms, white courtesy phone…

  34. 34.

    Omnes Omnibus

    September 15, 2010 at 9:19 pm

    @Davis X. Machina: The comments… the emo… the pain…

  35. 35.

    valdivia

    September 15, 2010 at 9:20 pm

    @beltane:

    yeah eh? Wonder what Freud would make of it!

  36. 36.

    Mark S.

    September 15, 2010 at 9:20 pm

    This is an open thread, right?

    In fact, LeBron is now the sixth most disliked sports personality, according to The Q Score Company, behind Michael Vick, Tiger Woods, Terrell Owens, Chad Ochocinco and Kobe Bryant.

    Where the hell is Big Ben? And if anybody paid attention to boxing anymore, Floyd Mayweather would be on that list.

    I’m also sure it’s just a coincidence that the top six are all black. We’re a post-racial society after all.

  37. 37.

    WaterGirl

    September 15, 2010 at 9:20 pm

    @beltane: Speaking of hot, I keep wondering if Palin will resent a new woman cutting into this whole starbursts thing she seems to have going on… (though personally I don’t see it with either one of them)

  38. 38.

    Mike in NC

    September 15, 2010 at 9:22 pm

    Who’ll be the first “journalist” to have a breathless, fawning one-on-one interview with Christine O’Donnell: Kelly O’Donnell or Norah O’Donnell? They both lean wingnut.

  39. 39.

    RSR

    September 15, 2010 at 9:22 pm

    I liked the twitter comment I saw that Pee-wee Herman is not welcome in DE theaters anymore.

  40. 40.

    Steeplejack

    September 15, 2010 at 9:22 pm

    From the old school: Clarence Carter, “Strokin’.”

    (Because the truly old-school would never admit to not having a partner available.)

  41. 41.

    maus

    September 15, 2010 at 9:23 pm

    The Genitorturers cover is better, IMO.

  42. 42.

    morzer

    September 15, 2010 at 9:24 pm

    As Jimmy Buffett sang:

    They say you are a snow queen
    Honey I don’t think that’s true
    So, why don’t we get drunk and screw

  43. 43.

    beltane

    September 15, 2010 at 9:27 pm

    @Mike in NC: What I’m waiting for is Maureen Dowd’s reaction. One never knows with MoDo. She could either wistfully reflect on her own lost purity or she could offer Ms. O’Donnell advice on adult toys.

  44. 44.

    Anya

    September 15, 2010 at 9:28 pm

    DougJ, Im really happy for you… And I’mma let you finish your song, but Christina O’Donnell and Sarah Palin are the hottest Mama Grizzlies OFF ALL TIMES and they’re not gonna be distracted with masturbation from their mission of taking their country back.

  45. 45.

    MikeJ

    September 15, 2010 at 9:28 pm

    How about Billy Squier – The Stroke.

  46. 46.

    Chris G.

    September 15, 2010 at 9:30 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus, @beltane: Whew! Good thing I didn’t suggest it, then!

  47. 47.

    beltane

    September 15, 2010 at 9:30 pm

    @Davis X. Machina: Please make it stop. Even Atrios is happy. Why don’t these people join up with the teabaggers like they promised.

  48. 48.

    Omnes Omnibus

    September 15, 2010 at 9:30 pm

    Motorhead

  49. 49.

    morzer

    September 15, 2010 at 9:30 pm

    @Anya:

    I think you mean taking their cuntry back from MassTARPation.

  50. 50.

    Punchy

    September 15, 2010 at 9:32 pm

    What about that song by the Yeastie Girls (I wish I was making that up)? Isn’t it called “Go down”, or some such shizzle?

  51. 51.

    Omnes Omnibus

    September 15, 2010 at 9:32 pm

    @beltane: She could actually do both in the same column.

  52. 52.

    valdivia

    September 15, 2010 at 9:33 pm

    @MikeJ:

    OMG haven’t thought of that song in ages. And must confess that when I was a teenager I had no clue it was about self love!

  53. 53.

    PurpleGirl

    September 15, 2010 at 9:33 pm

    @valdivia: Sometimes a cigar is a just a cigar.

    (1976 SNL skit with Freud and his daughter.)

  54. 54.

    PurpleGirl

    September 15, 2010 at 9:36 pm

    She needs a copy of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

  55. 55.

    Chris G.

    September 15, 2010 at 9:37 pm

    @morzer: The lyric is “snuff queen,” which is an old term for prostitute.

    @Anya: O’Donnell is younger, prettier, and possibly crazier than Palin. And she figured out the perpetual campaign gravy train before Palin did and has been willing to appear on less than perfectly friendly media platforms. This, this could be interesting to watch unfold.

  56. 56.

    Omnes Omnibus

    September 15, 2010 at 9:38 pm

    Some good Buzzcocks here.

  57. 57.

    gbear

    September 15, 2010 at 9:38 pm

    No list would be complete without Fleetwood Mac’s ‘Rattlesnake Shake’ from the Then Play On lp.

    I gotta friend, his name is Nick.
    He don’t care if he ain’t got no chick.

    (this is not Stevie Nick’s Fleetwood Mac).

  58. 58.

    Zuzu's Petals

    September 15, 2010 at 9:38 pm

    My vote: Bernadette Peters’ “Making Love Alone.”

    A log thrown on the fire
    Two profiles met as one
    The igniting of desire in the air
    But when there’s just one profile
    And yet desire grows
    Despite the fact there’s no one else to care
    __
    Must romance be abandoned
    As it’s fanning it’s own flame
    Waiting to ????????
    No!
    __
    There’s a special kind of bliss
    Not engendered with a kiss
    Syruptitiously indulged in less wellknown
    For when one can not make love with another
    One can still make love alone.
    __
    There’s a certain special magic
    To the touch of your own hand
    And the special thrill knowing that you will for
    sure
    Soon be feeling grand.
    ?????
    You don’t have to try to postpone
    That’s what it’s like when you’re making love alone
    __
    Oh the sweet sweet sound of your own breathing
    As the sky turns pale-pink to hot
    And the special thrill knowing that you will not
    catch
    God-only-knows what
    It’s the kind of love that fit’s hand in glove
    And bursts like a ?????
    That’s what it’s like when you’re making love alone
    __
    Who can describe the special sweetness of knowing
    The speed that you’re going is right
    And is there anything as thrilling as trying to keep the
    book open
    To page 24 all night
    How reassuring to know that it’s finally time to go
    That you’ll still be there when you leave
    And as dawn is breaking you hear yourself making
    A date for New Year’s Eve
    __
    It’s the kind of love that fits hand in glove
    Especially when the glove is your own
    Oh!
    __
    For the date who you can’t see their faces
    The one who knows all the best places
    Who’ll never ask your sign on the phone
    No no no signs
    Due to simple magic of making love
    Not taking, faking, mistaking love
    The simple magic of making love alone
    Save on cologne!
    That’s what it’s like
    When you’re making love alone
    Oh, alone!

    I remember her singing it on SNL all those years ago.

  59. 59.

    Steeplejack

    September 15, 2010 at 9:41 pm

    Hot Weird robot masturbation is okay, right?

  60. 60.

    Anya

    September 15, 2010 at 9:43 pm

    @Chris G.: She’s not that much younger, she’s 41. But she is more articulate and I think smarter. I watched the videos of her appearance at Politically incorrect that TPM posted and she can articulate her nonsense. And she does not seem to have Palin’s persecuted mentality. I think she is actually more dangerous of the two.

  61. 61.

    Anne Laurie

    September 15, 2010 at 9:45 pm

    @beltane:
    __

    What I’m waiting for is Maureen Dowd’s reaction. One never knows with MoDo. She could either wistfully reflect on her own lost purity or she could offer Ms. O’Donnell advice on adult toys.

    I’m guessing Peggy Noonan will be the… erm… motherlode of insane punditry here. She’s been outed (during Palin’s original coronation as Queen Pitbull) as regarding the Repubs’ whole suck-up-to-the-teabaggers kabuki as a con and a distraction. But O’Donnell’s so Reaganesquely “pure” and “uncomplicated” that she must make Noonan’s, um, political instincts tingle…

  62. 62.

    morzer

    September 15, 2010 at 9:45 pm

    @Chris G.:

    Which lyric?

  63. 63.

    danimal

    September 15, 2010 at 9:56 pm

    62 comments and this Vapors classic isn’t mentioned?

  64. 64.

    Steeplejack

    September 15, 2010 at 10:03 pm

    @danimal:

    Well, you’re only off by 34 comments. That’s well within one McArdle unit of error.

  65. 65.

    AhabTRuler

    September 15, 2010 at 10:09 pm

    @Steeplejack: Hey, it’s links or GTFO!

  66. 66.

    danimal

    September 15, 2010 at 10:09 pm

    @Steeplejack: You know you’ve made a big fucking mistake when they break out the McArdle units…

  67. 67.

    mr. whipple

    September 15, 2010 at 10:11 pm

    @beltane:

    Even Atrios is happy.

    I don’t believe it. I’m gonna put this on the calendar.

  68. 68.

    AhabTRuler

    September 15, 2010 at 10:11 pm

    And I’ll further add to the conversation thusly

  69. 69.

    Steeplejack

    September 15, 2010 at 10:26 pm

    @AhabTRuler:

    That’s winter rules. Besides, Danimal said “mentioned.”

  70. 70.

    Steeplejack

    September 15, 2010 at 10:33 pm

    @mr. whipple:

    Even I’m happy. Worked the early shift today and don’t have to go back until 3:00 tomorrow, so I’ve got a little midweek mini-weekend thing going on. And the Rays just beat the Yankees and went up ½ game in the AL East. Soriano struck out A-Rod on three pitches to end the game. Sweet. FTFY.

  71. 71.

    eemom

    September 15, 2010 at 10:38 pm

    @Anne Laurie:

    Dunno about Noobrain, but I think MoDo might be uncharacteristically kind to the young virgin. A 41 year old woman who has never had sex at all is arguably even more pathetic than MoDo herself, thereby potentially making MoDo look, by comparison, like something of an erstwhile woman of the world, instead of the horny old has-been she actually is.

  72. 72.

    Chris G.

    September 15, 2010 at 10:41 pm

    @morzer: In the Jimmy Buffett song — it’s “snuff queen,” not “snow queen.”

  73. 73.

    hamletta

    September 15, 2010 at 11:03 pm

    @valdivia: Except it isn’t. “The Stroke” is about music biz bullshitters.

    In a related note, this feeding frenzy among the wingnut welfare recipients reminds me of The Lady From Shanghai.

  74. 74.

    wag

    September 15, 2010 at 11:06 pm

    Human Sexual Response
    is always good when you are talking masturbation

  75. 75.

    hamletta

    September 15, 2010 at 11:09 pm

    @eemom: Well, she isn’t a virgin. She slept around in college, then, um, came to Jeebus sometime during senior year.

    But still: She hasn’t gotten any in 20 years, but she doesn’t believe in masturbation. Ooookay.

    I’d stay at least 10 yards from her at all times. One of these days, she’s gonna blow up real good!

  76. 76.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    September 15, 2010 at 11:14 pm

    @danimal:

    Excellent choice! It combines what the Teatards get when they are riled up (TheVapors), what they obsess about (mast’e’rbation) (FYWP!), and non-whites (Turning Japanese) who we beat in a game of War.

    O’Diddily is nice enough looking but not my type, she’s a bit too Pontiac-looking for my taste.

  77. 77.

    Jay in Oregon

    September 16, 2010 at 12:26 am

    Let’s see who else besides me remembers this one:

    http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=40139296

  78. 78.

    chaseyourtail

    September 16, 2010 at 12:32 am

    @Zuzu’s Petals: Go Bernadette! I’ve always been a fan of hers. She’s one of the loveliest people around.

  79. 79.

    mcd410x

    September 16, 2010 at 12:40 am

    I suggest Fuck the Pain Away by Peaches

  80. 80.

    JasonF

    September 16, 2010 at 1:27 am

    I knew a girl named Nikki …

  81. 81.

    Omnes Omnibus

    September 16, 2010 at 1:28 am

    @mcd410x: That song is a damn earworm. I have it running through my head… Darn you to heck.

  82. 82.

    Omnes Omnibus

    September 16, 2010 at 1:28 am

    @mcd410x: That song is a damn earworm. I have it running through my head… Darn you to heck.

  83. 83.

    Mnemosyne

    September 16, 2010 at 1:30 am

    This many comments and no “Darling Nikki”?

    I guess Prince really is the forgotten man.

  84. 84.

    JasonF

    September 16, 2010 at 1:33 am

    @Mnemosyne:

    This many comments and no “Darling Nikki”?

    I guess Prince really is the forgotten man.

    Beat you to it with comment #80.

  85. 85.

    Mnemosyne

    September 16, 2010 at 1:50 am

    @JasonF:

    Dude, by 3 minutes. Since I provided a video and you didn’t, that’s a tie.

  86. 86.

    JasonF

    September 16, 2010 at 1:56 am

    @Mnemosyne: Sounds good to me. A tie it is!

  87. 87.

    Zuzu's Petals

    September 16, 2010 at 1:57 am

    @chaseyourtail:

    I wish they showed the clip of her singing it. Classic.

  88. 88.

    lacp

    September 16, 2010 at 7:57 am

    Was sitting in the taproom here in Philly when a local news channel did a segment on Ms. O’Donnell. I must have had way too much to drink beforehand, ’cause my first thought upon hearing her speak was “Jeez, I didn’t know Marie Osmond huffed paint thinner.”

  89. 89.

    Remember November

    September 16, 2010 at 8:34 am

    RT the #ODiddler hashtag on twitter, courtesy yours truly and @LasVegasJessica

    also, too:

    http://twitter.com/sheilastahl/status/24565487742

  90. 90.

    thalarctos

    September 16, 2010 at 9:18 am

    Oho, two more:

    Crispin Glover–Automanipulator
    The Foremen–Firing the Surgeon General

  91. 91.

    Catsy

    September 16, 2010 at 12:06 pm

    @beltane:

    Fifty years ago she would have been called a bitter old spinster, now they call her hot.

    Well, she /is/ kind of hot. I’d hit it. Once.

    But as my dad said: “don’t fuck the crazy”, or words to that effect. Paying attention to that advice may have saved me from a bad marriage.

  92. 92.

    jake the snake

    September 16, 2010 at 1:24 pm

    Am I the first to say it? Christine O’Donnell: the anti-wanking wanker.

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