Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

Bark louder, little dog.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

Prediction: the GOP will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

In my day, never was longer.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

It’s time for the GOP to dust off that post-2012 autopsy, completely ignore it, and light the party on fire again.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

He really is that stupid.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / When a man loves a woman

When a man loves a woman

by | 70 Comments

This post is in: 

Neocons love Palin, but there is no way this will ever happen:

I somehow missed John Bolton’s recent efforts to interest Republicans in a possible Bolton presidential run in 2012.

[….]

But what if Palin isn’t the nominee? Or what if she is, but cooler heads prevail when she and her crew pick a running mate?

I think it could be Bolton? Why not? His are is foreign policy. The Belrway defines him as “serious.” And we know you suffer no penalty, ever, in national politics for being 100% wrong about anything if you’re coming from the right.

Bolton passes the John Fucking Bolton test (I can’t decide whether or not his brother Michael does yet), but that’s about it. America’s just not ready for that kind of mustache. But it’s worth thinking about if only to read some spoofy brilliance from Hillbuzz (that site is a spoof, right?):

A lot of people brought this up at the Restoring Honor rally, and we’re surprised we never thought of it before…but would Ambassador John Bolton make a good running mate for Governor Sarah Palin in 2012?

The Ambassador sure would make a great attack dog on the campaign trail, against Joe Biden.

We still don’t believe Hillary Clinton would ever agree to replace Biden on the VP ticket, so don’t even go there. The only way Clinton would run as Dr. Utopia’s VP choice is if Biden discovers he has serious health problems that force him to resign in 2011…and Clinton is confirmed as the new Vice President. We think that would be her price for getting on that sinking ship of a ticket, to actually be made Vice President first, then doing what she could to help Dr. Utopia get a second term. We believe she’s smart enough to know Dr. Utopia’s going to lose…but she’d then be able to run in 2016 against President Palin as former Senator, former Secretary of State, former Vice President Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton.

Reader Interactions

70Comments

  3. 3.

    El Cid

    You never know. Americans could respond to Captain Kangaragnarok’s policies to blow up the top portions of the UN, bomb Iran to glass, and throw staplers at his employees.

  6. 6.

    beltane

    Palin/Bolton=A poor man’s Bush/Cheney or a Beard and a Mustache.

    They absolutely must legalize marijuana. 2012 will be intolerable without it.

  9. 9.

    pereubu77

    Coincidentally, the LAT this morning ran a great parody of John Bolton writing about the “Chavez threat” (http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-oe-bolton-chavez-20100916,0,3843771.story). It was Onion-esque in its sublime ridiculousness.

    Just one hilarious paragraph among many:

    The stakes are especially high in light of evidence consistent with an emerging Venezuelan nuclear weapons program. Ironically, Chavez’s frequently clownish behavior protects him, camouflaging the seriousness of his potential threat to U.S. security and to democratic societies throughout Latin America.

    You can almost hear Bolton saying it!! The real author chose to remain anonymous, unfortunately, simply signing himself “John Bolton”.

  12. 12.

    fasteddie9318

    @J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford:

    Osborn would be a decent pick, but I think if you manage to get a Palin/Bolton ticket elected you ought to go the whole nine yards and start your cabinet with the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Death would make a fantastic Homeland Security Secretary and War would obviously be a great choice for Defense. Famine in State and Pestilence in either Treasury or HHS would round things out.

  15. 15.

    Midnight Marauder

    If Sarah Palin wins the Republican presidential nomination and the universe does not implode after she selects John Fucking Bolton as her VP, then I’m pretty sure President Obama is going to win every single one of the 58 states.

    We think that would be her price for getting on that sinking ship of a ticket, to actually be made Vice President first, then doing what she could to help Dr. Utopia get a second term. We believe she’s smart enough to know Dr. Utopia’s going to lose…but she’d then be able to run in 2016 against President Palin as former Senator, former Secretary of State, former Vice President Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton.

    No way this is a real thing. Absolutely no way. I refuse to believe it.

  18. 18.

    Jewish Steel

    @El Cid:

    Captain Kangaragnarok? I’m dying. Never heard that one before.

    Why is there no t-shirt? Cafe Press that, someone.

    Edit: Also, why is there no band? Norwegian Death Metal. Gotta be.

  23. 23.

    Punchy

    His are is foreign policy. The Belrway defines him as “serious.”

    Can I get this translated into English?

  24. 24.

    morzer

    Isn’t it time for Napoleon to show up and start ranting about how Obama is really controlled by perfide Albion?

  25. 25.

    General Stuck

    You mean THIS John Bolton

    Though Bolton supported the Vietnam War, he enlisted in the Maryland Army National Guard, but did not serve in Vietnam. He wrote in his Yale 25th reunion book “I confess I had no desire to die in a Southeast Asian rice paddy. I considered the war in Vietnam already lost.”[15] In an interview, Bolton discussed his comment in the reunion book, explaining that he decided to avoid service in Vietnam because “by the time I was about to graduate in 1970, it was clear to me that opponents of the Vietnam War had made it certain we could not prevail, and that I had no great interest in going there to have Teddy Kennedy give it back to the people I might die to take it away from.” [16][17]

    You see, he loved him some Vietnam, but the fucking dirty hippies robbed him of the chance to die in that noble cause because Teddy Kennedy would have surrender monkeyed it thwarting his pined for sacrifice and honor.

    Instead he became a weekend warrior, at the time aka a ticket out of going to Vietnam. Only the cool neo con kids could get those tickets.

    Wolverines!! (long as it’s somebody else)

  29. 29.

    Lolis

    At this point I am looking forward to a Palin run. It has become apparent we are still far from peak wingnut and I am in a hurry to get there.

  30. 30.

    Punchy

    then I’m pretty sure President Obama is going to win every single one of the 58 states.

    You’ve clearly not been to Mississippi, Alabama, Texas, or Tennessee. They’d vote for a dead child rapist before they vote in some Majik Negro.

  34. 34.

    FlipYrWhig

    @Punchy:

    His are is foreign policy. The Belrway defines him as “serious.”

    Can I get this translated into English?

    Oh, those are just typos. It’s supposed to say, “His arse is foreign policy. The Belarusian John Elway defines him as ‘serious.'”

  35. 35.

    Brachiator

    @Roger Moore:
    RE: America’s just not ready for that kind of mustache.

    You know who else had a mustache…

    Ooh. Very good.

    Neocons love Palin

    I was watching a clip of Palin talking up Christine O’Donnell to Bill O’Reilly. La Divine Sarah talked about how she slipped her handlers to make midnight calls to Bill to give him the real skinny.

    I didn’t realize until then that Palin really sees herself as a power broker. The funny thing is that Bill couldn’t remember the name of one of the East Coast tea party nutcakes that Palin had personally endorsed. Palin evidently couldn’t remember the name either and said nothing and just looked dumb until O’Reilly finally moved on.

    And yet and still, she was reveling in her moment of power.

  37. 37.

    colleeniem

    @El Cid: By the by I got an email response from the editor about my decision to forgo Portland delivery, and here it is, unedited and verbatim (with no signature or address, as I guess the old folks can’t be bothered):

    “We respect your decision but you are mistaken. I apologized for NOT covering 9/11 on 9/11. We will cover Ramadan locally next year and for many years after that. You won’t see or read, I guess.”

    What the hell is there to cover the Friday night before 9/11, worthy of the front page? The preparations? The bands playing? What, what?

  38. 38.

    Dave

    @beltane:

    I don’t know if that will happen. But I am investing heavily in booze stocks for the next couple of years. Because once the crazy starts raining down even more…we’re all going to need a drink. Or twelve.

  39. 39.

    Scott

    @colleeniem:

    Shorter Portland Newspaper Editor: “I’m getting my ass chewed out everywhere about this. But just because I’m a total chickenshit doesn’t mean I can’t send rambling, bizarre e-mails to people who’ve cancelled their subscriptions implying that they’re the REAL cowards.”

  40. 40.

    Uloborus

    @lamh31:
    This makes perfect sense to me. It is a Mean Girl tactic. If you see another girl who is potentially popular, you must either destroy her publicly or make her your sidekick. The value of the latter is that then anyone who admires the other girl gets sucked into admiring you. In O’Donnell’s case, isn’t she younger and prettier than Sarah ‘Crypt Keeper’ Palin? Palin might be thinking she needs people to look at a younger face and think of her.

  41. 41.

    licensed to kill time

    Well, having a President who communicates solely through tweets, Facebook, smoke signals and Fuxxor News would certainly be interesting times, in the Chinese proverb sense.

  43. 43.

    Chris

    @Uloborus:

    In O’Donnell’s case, isn’t she younger and prettier than Sarah ‘Crypt Keeper’ Palin?

    Younger and prettier, yes, but not as skinny. Not sure what that means, other than maybe there will be some crash dieting going on for the next couple of months.

  44. 44.

    burnspbesq

    @Uloborus:

    ” In O’Donnell’s case, isn’t she younger and prettier than Sarah ‘Crypt Keeper’ Palin?”

    Blecch. Not even if they were the last two women on earth. Idiocy is not sexy.

  48. 48.

    ET

    Republicans have boxed themselves into a corner after 20+ years of using and catering to the teatard type and conservative Christians. The 2012 presidential campaign is payment coming due. An old time (pre Gingrich Republican) has no chance in the the primaries but a better chance in the General Election while a teatard or conservative Christian has more luck in the primary and less luck in the General Election. Unfortunately, any candidate has to get though the primaries where traditional GOP types do not necessarily hold the reigns of the party apparatus. A job they ceded to the other groups because they had the numbers and the passion, while they ran the big show and hoped those being used didn’t notice they were being used.

    Well now those that have been used are in the drivers seat and the party apparatus not controlled by them (the dudes in D.C.) are in the backseat. They created the Frankenstein monster that is going to beat them silly. I would feel sorry for them but they did it to themselves. Unfortunately, they also did it to the rest of the country as well, so while I am not going be busy feeling sorry for the GOP sitting in their well-deserved shit-hole, I will be busy feeling sorry for the rest of the U.S. who has to live though the coming headache.

  49. 49.

    Uloborus

    @burnspbesq:
    Doesn’t matter if we find them attractive. I haven’t seen O’Donnell and I thought Palin was hideous from day one. It only matters what Palin thinks people think!

  51. 51.

    catclub

    @Punchy:
    “You’ve clearly not been to Mississippi, Alabama, Texas, or Tennessee. They’d vote for a dead child rapist before they vote in some Majik Negro. ”

    Actually, only 11% of whites in Mississippi voted for Obama.
    (Why yes, I _am_ special.)
    But that means that if, say, 19% of whites did, he would carry the state.
    It turns out (IIRC) that Oklahoma and Idaho are much further out of reach.

  52. 52.

    maus

    @fasteddie9318:

    OK, that Hillbuzz site, seriously? That really is a spoof, right?

    Not at all, they’ve been a source of idiocy and Palinesque NOBAMA since way before the election.

    @General Stuck:

    You see, he loved him some Vietnam, but the fucking dirty hippies robbed him of the chance to die in that noble cause because Teddy Kennedy would have surrender monkeyed it thwarting his pined for sacrifice and honor. Instead he became a weekend warrior, at the time aka a ticket out of going to Vietnam. Only the cool neo con kids could get those tickets. Wolverines!! (long as it’s somebody else)

    Wow, every Neocon really is like this.

  54. 54.

    eemom

    I think the idea of Bolton running for anything is absolutely hilarious. The guy has all the charisma of a rectal examination by a physician with pointy fingernails.

  55. 55.

    kindness

    I can just see the Vice Presidential debate:

    Split screen with cameras come on with tight shots of candidates faces. Camera’s pull back and we see Pammy Geller madly pumping away at Bolton’s leg like a dog in heat.

    Just another day in their world. Might make ‘Senator Christine O’Donnell’s’ head explode though.

  56. 56.

    Dork

    Not even if they were the last two women on earth.

    There’s a reason God invented lightswitches and liposuction.

  57. 57.

    Socraticsilence

    My opinion of my fellow Americans has at times been tested (2004, now though to a lesser extent) but that said I can’t see Obama losing to Palin, to a Daniels-Pawlenty type if the economy keeps falling (I think it would be wrong but a bland non-threatening GOP CEOish type might work for voters) but Palin- sorry Americans wont go that far, were not that crazy literally any foriegn policy issue whatsoever would discredit her, literally no domestic social issue is in her favor and on top of all this I just can’t see a debate being dumbed down enough for her to get through without saying something insanely dumb- like Bush is a genius in contrast dumb.

  60. 60.

    Cain

    @burnspbesq:

    Blecch. Not even if they were the last two women on earth. Idiocy is not sexy

    Come on, it’ll be great session.. just keep panting “single payer HC” the whole time. After gaining momentum just cut it short to “single payer”.

    cain
    edited for your pleasure

  61. 61.

    cleter

    Oh, her running mate wouldn’t be Bolton. Her running mate will probably be Florida senator Marco Rubio. She’s clearly not going to want somebody who has more experience than her, or who might disagree with her on anything. A teabagger who’s been a senator less time than she was a governor would be just about perfect.

    I’m sure Bolton would have a job in a Palin administration, though. Secretary of Bombing or something.

  62. 62.

    Cain

    @catclub:

    It turns out (IIRC) that Oklahoma and Idaho are much further out of reach.

    I drove went into the Idaho border from Oregon over the weekend. The air felt dumber. Drove back after an hour..

    Great people though in Pendleton and Baker City.
    . they have a great way of relating stories that I like. Good people.
    cain

  63. 63.

    Mike in NC

    Bolton presidential run in 2012.

    The perfect candidate for anyone who thinks Gingrich isn’t old enough, corrupt enough, white enough, or delusional enough.

  64. 64.

    Kilkee

    Slightly OT: Always pleasantly surprised to find fellow Mainers here. And what a fun time to be a politico-dork! Are we finished with LePage yet?

  66. 66.

    maya

    Palin would need support from that NE sector of Real America if she has any hopey of changey and becoming #45.

    Palin/Paladino has a nice alliterate ring to it. Or illiterate. Whatever.

  67. 67.

    colleeniem

    @Kilkee:
    Hello Mainiac!
    Sadly, I am not as adept at true Maine politics yet, being a newbie (from away). However, I hope we are done :).

  68. 68.

    MaryRC

    Hillbuzz (that site is a spoof, right?)

    As others have mentioned before me, the Hillbuzz site has been bringing the stupid for quite a while now.

    Many of the ‘Buzzers seem to be channelling Emily Litella. Yesterday one of them was harrumphing over Mike Castle supposedly criticizing O’Donnell for not paying off her student loans. “Lots of people have problems with student loans!” When a brighter bulb pointed out that O’Donnell hadn’t graduated until last week and Castle was not talking about student loans, she called him a troll. As someone at Wonkette said recently, they make the commenters at other wingnut blogs look like Mensa members.

  69. 69.

    burnspbesq

    @Dork:

    There’s a reason God invented lightswitches and liposuction.

    Neither of them are the reason.

    Sure. Go ahead and do it. But someday, you will get really, really drunk and spill the beans on yourself, and all your friends will shun you for the rest of your life. It’s not worth it. Get a fleshlight.

Comments are closed.