Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

Innocent people do not delay justice.

Everything is totally normal and fine!!!

If a good thing happens for a bad reason, it’s still a good thing.

We know you aren’t a Democrat but since you seem confused let me help you.

Just because you believe it, that does not make it true.

Museums are not America’s attic for its racist shit.

You know it’s bad when the Project 2025 people have to create training videos on “How To Be Normal”.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

Marge, god is saying you’re stupid.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

People are weird.

Tide comes in. Tide goes out. You can’t explain that.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

I might just take the rest of the day off and do even more nothing than usual.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

There are a lot more evil idiots than evil geniuses.

The fundamental promise of conservatism all over the world is a return to an idealized past that never existed.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

We can show the world that autocracy can be defeated.

There is no compromise when it comes to body autonomy. You either have it or you do not.

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72Comments

  1. 1.

    slag

    Bummer! Healing thoughts and all that.

    We’ll look forward to your fever-induced posts every twenty minutes for the rest of the weekend.

  5. 5.

    Cermet

    Someone has not been taking 2000 IU Vit D/day for the last few months – otherwise, you’d be fine and not sick. It works (in many medical research studies (double blind) it has been proven highly effective in preventing colds (after taking for four months) and defeating bacteria infections (higher dose per day.)) It also appears to prevent many cancers and improves outcomes a great deal in chemo treatments.

    Its cheap, very safe and IT works – take it!

  8. 8.

    Corner Stone

    I got chillssss!! They’re multi-plyin!
    And I’m loooosin controhol!
    The power! You’re supplying??
    It’s elec-tre-fyin!!

    Just wanted to put that ear worm out there. You’re welcome.

  9. 9.

    lamh32

    Damn dude, you are the “getting sick” – iest and most accident prone person I have never met, and I work in a hospital!!! Seriously, you need to start boosting your immune system. Did I miss something, do you have a some type of immune disorder?

    Still get well.

    BTW, fever and chills that develop fairly quickly might be the flu. So if they last longer than a couple of days, you need to see your doctor. Ya don’t wann be spreading ur possibly “flu-ey” germs around. I’m just saying.

  11. 11.

    Face

    See you Monday.

    By “Monday”, John means “this afternoon”. Besides, it’s all mental. If you tell yourself you’re not sick, you wont be.

  13. 13.

    Punchy

    BTW, fever and chills that develop fairly quickly might be the flu. So if they last longer than a couple of days, you need to see your doctor.

    I dont understand this. What can a doctor do for a viral flu infection? And why would you want to potentially give your doc your flu virus?

  15. 15.

    Shinobi

    Feel Better!!!

    Also, Is the Stewart Colber Rally a real thing in the real world? If so I want to go like whoa.

  16. 16.

    Kryptik

    IHOP is suing an end-times ministry in Kansas City, MO, the ‘International House of Prayer’, for trademark infringement. Remarkably, no one seems to have thought of the perfect solution here: Rename it the ‘International House of Prayer and Entimes’. IHOPE.

  17. 17.

    DrDave

    @Punchy: A doctor can prescribe Tamiflu which will shorten the length of clinical symptoms. Or prescribe an antibiotic if it looks bacterial or mixed viral/bacterial.

  18. 18.

    New Yorker

    http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/if-you-thought-christine-o%E2%80%99donnell-was-bad%E2%80%A6

    More derangement from the right, via Sully.

    He’s right, the phrase “separation of Church and State” is not in Jefferson’s letter to the Danbury Baptists. The phrase “wall of separation between Church and State” is, however. I’m sure this guy has the intellectual capacity to tell us what the difference is, after he calls us all Nazis.

    I await Reason’s next article telling us how Urquhart is merely expressing his anger at the bailout of AIG……

  19. 19.

    SIA

    @Tattoosydney: That’s very nice, but where are the cartoons? I think it would cheer John up if you did a cartoon showing how Lily, Rosie and Tunch will be taking care of him this weekend.

    Sorry you’re sick John – feel better soon.

  22. 22.

    Shinobi

    @John Cole: I keep a large stock of cold-eeze on hand for just such an occasion. If I even sniffle I am sucking on those disgusting things for a week. I don’t know if it actually helps, but if a placebo effect works, it works.

  24. 24.

    WereBear

    @Cermet: Gotta second that… there’s been a ‘splosion of recent research indicating that most of us are chronically short of D, and it’s bad news on a lot of levels.

    You want a blood level of 60-70 mgl… I’m taking 6k a day to get there.

  25. 25.

    Svensker

    We’re in a hotel in Toronto getting colds. So sympathies and commiserations.

    Going to try the Vitamin D thing. It’s basically the new cure for everything, but why not try it?

  26. 26.

    Allan

    Uh-oh, you’re the second person I know on the internet who’s got that one right now. I hope my virus protection software is up to date…

  29. 29.

    lamh32

    @Punchy:

    not just that the Doctor can prescribe medication that can alleviate the symptoms, but also because Influenza is one of the viral pathogens, that is very important to monitor in terms of Public Health. And it’s better to know that you don’t have the flu because btw, Flu-like symptoms can be caused by any number of bacterial pathogens as well.

    What some may think is a recurring cold, could actually be a Strep infection. Did you know, that not treating a sore throat correctly, can lead to the spread of the bacterial infections to other parts of the body?

    So because so many symptioms overlap, it very important to find out if you have the flu or not.

  30. 30.

    Tsulagi

    Chills, headache, fever.

    Not to make you feel worse, but this is one of those situations when a SO comes in handy. Wish I could get sick more often. When I am, my SO gets all nurturing, compassionate, very attentive to my needs and wants, and pleasingly soothing. Damn near a complete 180.

  31. 31.

    Punchy

    IHOP is suing an end-times ministry in Kansas City, MO, the ‘International House of Prayer’, for trademark infringement. Remarkably, no one seems to have thought of the perfect solution here: Rename it the ‘International House of Prayer and Entimes’. IHOPE.

    Been to this once, with a member, just for slaps and tickles. Total and complete cult. They seem unable to grasp statistics — they brag about the 1 time they prayed for something good and it happened, and never mention all the many misses. Also, they refused to pray for my Iowa Hawkeyes to cover the spread, so there’s that.

  33. 33.

    lamh32

    @John Cole:

    I’ve been there john. I rarely if ever go to the doctor cause I’m either too busy, or just don’t feel like going. But I should know better, I work as a Microbiologist.

    It’s true that if it’s viral, then all you can really do it treat the symptoms. But what some people who aren’t trained like I am, don’t realize is that sometimes the cold & flu-like symptoms can mask bacterial infections as well.

    I once had a scratchy throat, and some sinus issues, and I just treated it with tylenol cold & sinus. The stracthy throat eventually went away, but a few days later, my ear started getting scratchy. being someone who doesn’t go to the doctor often, I finally had to go to the doctor, when my left ear was completely clogged, and I could just barely hear out of my right ear.

    Well guess what, that cold I thought I had, was actually a probable Strep infection, that spread to my ears. I left ear was completely infected, and my right ear was on it’s way to rivaling the left. I was a grown azz woman with a child’s ear infection.

    I’m just saying, don’t just assume. If the symptoms last too long, just go to the doc.

  34. 34.

    JGabriel

    Get well soon, John.

    I assume this “See you Monday” business means we’ll be hearing from you twice an hour for the next 3 days since, being sick, you’ll have nothing better to do, won’t be able to sleep, and will need people to bitch at about it.

    WE understand. We Juicers will take care of widdle Johnny Cole till he’s aaallll better.

    .

  36. 36.

    lamh32

    @Tsulagi:

    hey don’t rub it in. I live alone (although, when my lil sister is in town from college, she stays with me), so when I had that ear infection I mentioned earlier, I was so miserable. Chills, fever, and I couldn’t hear worth shit, and thanks to the ear infection, my balance was off kilter, so getting up to get something to eat, or standing up for long periods warming soup really was no fun at all.

    I tell ya, for the most part I’m perfectly fine with living alone, except when I’m sick! The of course, I wish I still lived with my mommie…LOL!

  37. 37.

    debit

    @ openthread: I should know better than to read any comments on the science articles at Yahoo. The Teabaggers are numerous and they all have the same opinion: “Science is stupid! History is stupid! Why are my tax dollars paying for all this stupid science?!” I despair sometimes.

  38. 38.

    Annie

    @lamh32: It’s because I’m a damned idiot and I get a cold and never slow down and take care of myself, let the damned thing linger, until WHAMMO- I’m sick as hell.

    I think this beats even a John Cole posting record. Not only did he not make it to Monday, he didn’t even make it out of the thread.

    It warms my heart that some things in this world remain constant.

  39. 39.

    Mark S.

    @lamh32:

    Same thing happened to me one time. I had a cough that would go away. I finally went to a doctor and it turned out I had a viral infection in my lungs. I got prescribed steroids because it had weakened my lungs so badly.

  42. 42.

    Chuck Butcher

    I’m just starting to get over a cold that earlier this week had me convinced that I’d died and just forgotten to fall down. This one sucked and I blame it on the 17 mo grandson, it seems that baby bodies do something to mutate those damned germs into nastiness personified. I can be around sick adults and not catch it but a baby …

    Hope you get feeling better soon.

  43. 43.

    licensed to kill time

    At least John has three living hot water bottles to keep him toasty. Being sick sucks so rest and get well soon, JC.

  45. 45.

    lonesomerobot

    wow, I hit the road for an hour, log back on and there’s Claude on Balloon Juice (I’m Chad). THANKS John! Get well soon!

    But really, give Claude a look, he is an awesome performer… definitely Friday night music. Check out this review:

    A great blues record is an effortless pick me up for anyone, and “Deep Fried Satisfied” is just that; an easy score for music shoppers looking to make someone’s day. Put a smile on the face of your favorite blues fan with a copy of “Deep Fried Satisfied” today.

  47. 47.

    asiangrrlMN

    Sucky, Cole. I really hope you allow your body to rest.

    @Tattoosydney: I want that cat. It’s gorgeous!

    @Chuck Butcher: It’s a good thing they’re cute, eh? Glad you’re getting better.

    @lamh32: Agreed. The only time I want to have someone around is when I’m sick. Well, not strictly the only time, but close enough.

  48. 48.

    lamh32

    @Chuck Butcher:

    I once had this throat infection that just seemed to come upon me from outta nowhere. It was a Step infection. My doc told me, I must have come in contact with someone who had a strep infection, and I just couldn’t figure out who. Turns out, I got it from my nephew. I distinctly remember kissing all over his face, cause he was so damn cute and kissable at 5. Well guess what, he had Scarlet fever (a rash caused by Streptococcus pyogenes, i.e. Group A strep, the same bacteria that causes Strep throat) which my sister neglecting to tell me about, his doc told her to keep him away from other “children”, not everyone (or so she says…)

    I’m still traumatized. The little bugger is now 11, and I don’t think I’ve kissed his puffy face since he was 5!!! LOL.

  49. 49.

    WaterGirl

    I don’t always like what MoveOn does, but they got this one right:

    Top Five Things You Should Know About Elizabeth Warren

    —–
    1. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau was her idea. Here’s why she thinks this agency is so critical: “It is impossible to buy a toaster that has a one-in-five chance of bursting into flames and burning down your house. But it is possible to refinance your home with a mortgage that has the same one-in-five chance of putting your family out on the street.”

    —–
    2. The Republicans are so scared of her, they tried to pass a law blocking her from leading the agency. Republicans in Congress and the big Wall Street banks have always been against Warren leading the new consumer agency. Republicans even offered an amendment that was widely understood as designed to block Warren. That amendment failed.

    —–
    3. She is one of the most prominent, successful and fierce female lawyers in America. Coming from working-class roots, she graduated from high school as a debate star at 16. She finished law school when she was nine months pregnant. And she has repeatedly been named one of the fifty most influential female lawyers by the National Law Journal and was twice nominated as one of Time Magazines 100 Most Influential People (among other honors).

    —–
    4. She spoke truth to power about the failed foreclosure program. The Home Affordability Modification Program was supposed to save homeowners from losing their homes but has left many deeper in debt than they were before. Warren used her position on the Congressional Oversight panel to bring the voices of these disaffected homeowners right to the decision makers in the administration and demand accountability.

    —–
    5. She may have actual superpowers. She once calmed the entire crowd of an NBA game with her encyclopedic basketball knowledge. She explained the financial meltdown so clearly to Jon Stewart he said it made him “want to make out with” her. And there’s a viral rap video about her.

    Here’s the link to the web page & video composite:

    http://pol.moveon.org/warren_fivethings_share.html?id=23487-6302328-UZ4nLOx&t=3

  51. 51.

    South of I-10

    Hope you feel better! I am at home with Little South who has strep throat. Yes, we went to the doctor yesterday and she is on antibiotics. It’s been a super fun couple of days.

  52. 52.

    LT

    Hey Chad Corley, I’m moving to Sydney in a couple months – I’ll try to see Claude! Is he related to Colin? (Just hit your FB page, too.)

  53. 53.

    lonesomerobot

    @LT: That’s great! Sydney is a great town, check out Surry Hills really an awesome place to live, that or maybe Newtown — depends what you’re looking for . Claude’s not (to my knowledge) related to Colin. Check his FB for tour dates or our web site ingotrock.com

    He is INCREDIBLE to see live.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQ4zAmqvM5g

    I think he’s on the road in Oz until Nov, will take a break then start back at beginning of the year. We hope to have him in USA in Mar-Apr

  62. 62.

    WaterGirl

    My sister just called in a (slight) panic from the store – she is hosting our australian relatives for dinner tonight – wine experts – and she doesn’t know what to buy. Main course is vegetarian lasagna. They live in Michigan, so she thought maybe michigan wines might be good?

    Any ideas? I am to call her back in a few minutes with any ideas you guys might have. Thanks!

  65. 65.

    TaMara (BHF)

    Oh, I hope you feel better soon. We’ll try and plod along without your sarcasm, wit and wisdom. Just don’t leave us alone too long.

    I’m sure it’s been said, but a big pot of spicy chicken soup can make you feel better. I’ve even resorted to putting spicy heat into store-bought soup when I’m too sick to cook real soup.

  67. 67.

    dr. know

    sounds like flu… but watch out for Whooping Cough. Don’t mean to be alarmist, but there has been a dramatic uptick in this lately. Adults are particularly vulnerable because childhood inoculations don’t last, and until the last 3 or 4 years boosters were not routinely recommended. My girlfriend got it a few weeks ago. Starts out with cold/flu-like symptoms, but then the cough kicks in and lasts up to 8 weeks. Highly contagious! Luckily for me, I had just gotten a tetanus shot, which — because of the recent outbreaks — now includes a Whooping Cough inoculation.

    /PSA

  68. 68.

    LT

    @lonesomerobot: My wife’s family is in the Northern Beaches, so we’re going to try for there. Dee Why and ?Narabeen? It’s going to kill me rentwise – been paying $400 for my little country house in OR for a decade. Oh well.

  71. 71.

    300baud

    For those interested in this approach to music, definitely check out LoopStation:

    http://www.loopthis.com/

    It’s a cellist and an incredible female vocalist looping like crazy. I’ve seen them live a few times and they’re incredible.

  72. 72.

    Cermet

    @Sentient Puddle: Yes but that gives you the FDA min. which is 400 IU and not really enough to prevent colds. Most times of the year (ie not summer), no, you can’t get enough even with full body exposure (that’ll be fun in Boston in the winter). Also, it takes months to build up protection against virus’s so getting enough just a few months a year will not cut it. The damn stuff is so cheap and comes in tiny oil filled pills of 1000, 2000, or 5000 IU and 400 IU gummy bears and need only be taken once a day (with or without food.) Please, try it for one year and see if it doesn’t work.

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