The GOP has released their new “Pledge for America,” and surprising no one, it looks like the prescription for the future is tax cuts, missile defense, gay-bashing and fetus worship, and investigating
ACORN the White House.
You know what they say:
Sadly, America no longer listens to the Who. I, for one, look forward to the new regime of tax cuts for Jesus.
I’m looking forward to rich people becoming richer. And bombing Iran.
So the only way they can feel like Masters of the Universe, despite having all that money and power, is to legislate huge swathes of the country into sub-human status.
Just as long as you don’t misunderestimate them….
are they calling it ‘the contract with america’? i mean, i know newt is back and all, i just didn’t think the 90’s were going to be ‘in’ so soon.
The Republic of Stupidity
And which I refer to as “Politicization of Teh Stoooooopid”.
***walks off muttering under breath…***
What the HELL is WRONG w/ those people? They must sincerely believe EVERYONE is as stooooooooooopid as they are…
The Republic of Stupidity
It’s time for Payback, dammit…
This is what we get for pointing out what a God-awfulk farkin’ disaster 8 years of George Bush was for the country… at least 2 years of Le Grande Orange channeling his inner Torquemada…
no, not ‘contract’
Contract is too business sounding–very 1990’s–and the string pullers of the GOP don’t want focus on their big business privilege. So they craft it in much more post 9/11 patriotic terms, a pledge (as in allegiance).
Page 21 of the GOP Pledge: “We will fight efforts to use a national crisis for political gain.”
Frequent subhead: “What We’re up Against.” It ain’t the wall.
More like the 1890’s:
The 1890s were sometimes referred to as the “Mauve Decade,” because William Henry Perkin’s aniline dye allowed the widespread use of that colour in fashion, and also as the “Gay Nineties”, under the then-current usage of the word “gay” which referred simply to merriment and frivolity, with no connotation of homosexuality as in present-day usage. The phrase, “The Gay Nineties,” was not coined until 1926. This decade was also part of the Gilded Age, a phrase coined by Mark Twain, alluding to the seemingly profitable era that was riddled with crime. In America, the 1890s were marked by a severe economic depression sparked by the Panic of 1893, as well as several strikes in the industrial workforce.
Damn. Just a cursory glance at the text shows what craven, lying assholes the writers of the document are.
For example, they include a quote from JFK about high tax rates, without noting the marginal tax rate at the time JFK made the comment. And, every example they list of the effect allowing the Bush Tax Cuts to expire involve those making under $250K per year, which isn’t the tax hike the President is seeking.
And, the same old tired health care reform ideas that won’t work (private health savings accounts; opening the sale of health insurance policies across state lines) are recycled and regurgitated as if they are brand new shiny effective GOP solutions.
It’s depressing. And it’s going to get a lot of attention, without any of the Village Wankers actually doubting or questioning the claims.
Odie Hugh Manatee
Using their logic then let’s eliminate all taxes. When it’s time for paychecks in Congress tell them to go ahead and divvy up all that new revenue that no taxes has generated for them.
I want congressional pay and benefits tied to the median income and benefits that the public enjoys. That’s the only way those fuckers will ever do something for us.
Does the Republican Pledge contain the words “under God?” If not, it is a socia1ist plot.
Probably a good idea to point out that Townsend once called the lines Meet the new boss/Same as the old boss, “The stupidest fucking thing I ever wrote.” So don’t use it to justify the Obama’s as bad as Bush critique, people.
They tend to leave those lines out of the song in live performances anymore.
The Republic of Stupidity
Shorter “Pledge For America”…
Do as we say and only the Dems will get hurt…
If one of my co-ops handed me a paper that looked like this after months of work and told me this was it, this is my fiinal report I would send him back to school with no credit for the semester and recommend to my companies HR department not to allow him back. This is the kind of vague shit with page count padding silly charts that would get you a failing grade in school. Somebody told them a 4 page document would be too short so they added a lot of padding.
Anyone find anything new in this POS? Anything that wasn’t a GOP talking point for the last 18 months? Anyone note the cognitive dissonance as they address the issues from the last decade? Even Republicans can remember 2001-2008, right?
I seem to recall talk during the primary about some questionable real estate deal involving Obama and a convicted Chicago mobster, or something? Those investigations are going to be so awesome. And not at all worthless!
@JGabriel: So don’t use it to justify the Obama’s as bad as Bush critique, people.
I thought John meant the “won’t get fooled again” line.
I read the Pledge.
It is actually well done. It sounds intelligent, it flows well, it seems to be organized and logical.
I don’t think what they propose will restore the economy but they would probably try. I don’t think they can shrink the federal government as they certainly didn’t do that during their last time in power. I don’t think they can deliver peace or even a truce between the US and lots of other people.
And if they actually did keep all their promises in that little document, the centrifugal forces in the USA would increase a lot and the country would fall apart and become several smaller countries. [Is that Balkanization?]
@zattarra: Even Republicans can remember 2001-2008, right?
I wonder. Yesterday there was a lonely chinmulleted chubster running a College Republicans booth on the campus where I work, and all of the sloganeering boards he had around the place were to do with how horrible deficits are.
If I were in
ArizonaNevada, I’d definitely vote for whatever flaming bag of shit they have running for the Senate just so I can have this awesome FAIL enacted! /sully
@JGabriel: Stupider than Face the Face?
God these guys are dumb. They think Iran will have ICBM’s that could strike the US by 2015, and they think we’ll have missile defense by 2020. Neither of those things are going to happen, but by all means let’s spend billions on it.
I didn’t read it too closely, but where are the gay abortions? The only thing I saw is that they wanted to “codify” the Hyde Amendment.
@Linda Featheringill: The problem for the GOP is that low-info voters aren’t going to wade through 21 pages of sparkling rhetoric, no matter who’s peddling it. Hell, most people don’t even know what’s in either party’s platform. If it don’t fit on a bumper sticker, it ain’t gonna work. The Contract to Fail America was what, one page?
@Linda Featheringill: Did we read the same document. This is what we call a fluff report. No substance, just padding for size.
All conservatives do is pledge and march and sign documents and pledge and have a rally, and pledge and march. And make sure Christian values is thrown in for effect.
Well, Obama has an infomercial up at the hc website that
Rachel just played that brought tears to my eyes; first time since he was sworn in that I have teared up. Maybe I’m just tired. Hm
Missile defense. Against who? China owes us, Russia is more concerned about gas prices, anyone else is an ally. Sure, they are worried about Iran, but that’s more Israel’s anxiety. And where would Iran get the wherewithal for an ICBM? It’s one thing to have anti-ship missles and anti-aircraft, but intercontinental missiles require expertise they don’t necessarily have.
The people who give a damn about gay marriage and abortion are too old, too repressed, and too ugly to participate in either activity and already Republican.
And the ultimate fail: not addressing the most important thing on a lot of people’s minds this year. Jobs and money.
@Carol: These bastards sold the nation on the idea that Saddam Hussein had nukes, why not try again?
The first order of business in their pledge is literally states’ rights. They aren’t even using a dog whistle anymore.
I see the monster Chinese noodle Obama Health Care Reform death maze chart is in there. Good times back then, weren’t they? Glad they kept that olden goldie.
Also whining about the Dems declaring Martial Law in the House. That is an old standard too.
And a dishonest chart that is supposed to show that the Obama stimulus increased unemployment. (though the Obama administration is partly to blame for them being able to get away with that kind of garbage, IMHO).
It’s a kind of political campaign season comfort food.
I just skimmed it now, but will read it carefully Sunday morning with a stack of old fashioned waffles smothered in butter and maple syrup.
Edit: And if there were a Waffle House within a thousand miles of where I live, I would read it there, while consuming mass quantities.
You know who else pledged and marched and had rallies and threw Christian values in for effect?
They’ve got Hezbollah scientists working round the clock on it.
@Carol: Lions and Tiger and Bears. . .OH MY!
“Missile defense. Against who?”
Against evildoers, silly.
The Griping Old Party took out the Contract on America in the 90s and the money boys realize the pricks couldn’t get the job done. Now they’ve decided to take a Sledge to America with a group from Idiocracy and they may actually have a chance of shattering the country at the end of the day. Tell me they don’t love the country! They love it so much they’re willing to final kill it with a sledge.
From Wonkette via First Draft:
Not just bad writing but horrible formatting and layout too.
I’ll send in the suggestion that they put in a graph showing how the Gaza tunnels are secret passages to communicate with the advanced Replicant Reptaloid menace inside Hollow Earth, who are gay and will death tax us with nukes powered by antigravity missiles.
We need a missile defense for that.
The posted copy is just a draft, so maybe they will put that in. Worth a shot maybe.
“Unchecked executive”? I thought they were all about that. “Compliant legislature”? Are they fucking kidding? Pure wingnut narrative without a single assertion that could be verified or refuted.
That chart is the single most frustrating thing out of any of this; Republicans should buy Veronique de Rugy a new car or something. There’s no easy way to push back against it. The best thing I can think of would be if an independent group modeled, in hindsight, what would’ve likely happened with and without the stimulus; in fact, such a report was made by Mark Zandi (one of McCain’s economists) – http://www.economy.com/mark-zandi/documents/End-of-Great-Recession.pdf
Every Democrat should walk around armed with a graphical version of table 3 in that paper. I’ll actually go make one right now.
The Republic of Stupidity
Mexican day laborers?
Crazed Middle Easterners armed w/ box cutters?
Surely, we need an expensive, complicated, multi-BILLION dollar system to protect us from all of the above, no?
Which brings me to my next great money-making idea…
Considering just how bad things are going in this country and how much even worse Republicans seem determined to make them… I say it’s time we pool some serious money and go around buying out foreign countries holding our debt…
If I’m the Chinese or Japanese right now, I gotta be shittin’… looking at the astonishing level of idiocy that’s passing for ‘good governance’ in this country these days. I say we offer them fifty cents or even two bits on the dollar for their US Treasuries, just they can get out w/ SOMETHING before the whole place collapses…
@The Republic of Stupidity:
you mean they’re not?
The Pledge isn’t to motivate voters, not at this late date (and not with the Republican Tea Party already quite motivated, thanks). It’s to put a thin, pseudo-intellectual varnish on their brainless movement so that after Nov 2, they can point back to it and say, “See?! This is what real Americans were voting for when we won back the House!”
I mean, they can’t go in front of the microphones Nov 3 and say, “thank goodness, fear and lies came through again for us!” That’s not much of an agenda for action going forward, no matter how effective it turns out to be.
But they can point to this Pledge and pretend that there was an actual debate, an actual ‘marketplace of ideas’, and theirs won…
In a reloading scam, a victim is repeatedly approached by con artists, often until “sucked dry”. This form of fraud is perpetrated on those more susceptible to pressure after the first losses, perhaps because of hopes to recover money previously invested, perhaps because of inability to say “no” to a con man.
Contract on America 2: The Reload.
@Zach: Thanks very much for the link to that report. I will try my hand at a chart too.
Democrats should have three charts, one from Zandi, one each from Goldman Sachs and Economist research units. They all tell the same story. The erstwhile McCain advisor, the titans of Wall Street, and glibertarian fellow traveler monetarists all agree that the GOPs chart is nonsense.
@Jeffro: So you are saying the pledge is a beard.
They do have a nice website now and they normally refute everything on the WH Blog. Unfortunately no one in Congress bothers to read it or parrot it.
I think health care might be ok because the infomercials are good that he just did, people like Ed Rendel are campaigning on it and Obama is in full blown campaign since HC goodies start tomorrow. That should help a lot since a human face can be put on the program now. Abstract “it could happen to you” doesn’t sell well in this economy.
Also, the phrase “job-killing” must have polled really, really well in Luntz’s focus groups
did they forget to include demonizing muslims?
Just IMO, the placement of this
on the NYT front page just below the link to the GOP’s “My First PDF” is rather unfortunate.
If I said that I wished Nate Silver would STFU, would some all-powerful God of Geek Sellouts to the Emmessemm smite me with his Cosmic Calculator?
Yeah, yeah, I know he’s still the same old number-loving wizard we all came to know and love in ’08, and teh Village hasn’t changed him a bit. Whatever.
Yeah, I’ve gotten tired of Nate Silver too. I don’t know what happened. He used to be an interesting writer, but he made his stuff more and more bland over time.
Doubling down on the stupidity, as usual.
@BR: But, but, bland is us nerdy number crunchers’ sexytime.
Can anyone explain to me the advantage of embedding a little Scribd widget instead of actually just linking to the damn PDF? Do people just do it to keep eyeballs on their own page, or is there another reason?
Wow…21 pages of the same old shit. “We’re going to rein in spending!! Except for social security, medicare, and defense. Fuck food stamps!! Tax breaks ahoy!!”
The Republic of Stupidity
Not ALL of us… ;-)…
Two hundred Nigerian princes beg your attention.
You can embed the scribd widget on other blogs. Also, some people don’t like downloading PDFs. I wouldn’t sully my comp. with that piece of crap PDF either.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
The Republic of Stupidity
That’s a given by now…
FFS. China doesn’t own us. The hold about 6% of outstanding US debt and have been decreasing the amount for two full years.
Some zombie lies never die
First comment wins.
The first time the monkey flings poo, it’s shocking and weird and a little bit funny. The second time it’s just annoying.
IANAE, but that’s a lot of scratch. Also, consider how much of our shit is produced by cheap chinese labor, plus other holdings, and they own a lot of stuff.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Rachel Maddow played a clip of the Chimperor in ’05 talking about his “political capital… That’s mah style…. I earned it, now I’m gonna spend it”
Seeing that unique combination of cocky and petulant… My hatred flared up like he’d never been away.
May I interrupt you all for a moment to ask you?
How important is this thing? Well I think its important to note that the assclown running for Gov of Wisconsin announced he has a 56 page plan for creating jobs . . . it is double spaced 36 point type. The couple of hundred words it contains are mostly empty bullshit. But it will be sufficient as he is leading in the polls.
@Nick: “Just Desserts for Chocolate Carter”? Wow. I think we have a winner for the stupidest thing on the internet today.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Seebach: Possibly, but it’s just as possible this wasn’t even the stupidest thing posted at MyDD today
The stimulus worked, in chart form.
Democrats did well enough distributing the jobs created/lost bar graph… they need to do something like this, too.
Also, people need to know that they paid less taxes last year than the year before.
Didn’t the GOP include compulsory flogging for anyone making under 250k per year, mandatory witch-burning classes for the under-7s, and public prayers towards Alaska 7 times a day led by Imam Beck?
@Nick: Yea, the title was a head banger, but reading his piece and then Landsman’s follow up in comments, It was kind of refreshing. He” is a non apologetic firebagger that wants Obama out of the WH, and makes no bones about. I consider it an honest jumping off place to have some real and meaningful civil war in the dem party. Wish our firebaggers were as honest about what they think, instead of hiding behind, “but I’m a loyal dem” Just criticizing Obama.” ” Don’t hit me meany Obots”.
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: The few comments I read over there were tearing into the author.
Because the alternatives are sooooo unicorn-ish. (head/desk)
@General Stuck: I mean I know Jerome had gone off the deep end when Hillary lost the primary, but I didn’t know he turned into this, allowing this on his blog. Isn’t he the “blogfather”
It’s almost tragic.
I almost jumped out of the boat, but thought better of it. I will *not* give clicks to that kind of self-destructive behavior.
Yep, so it’s official, if you don’t want the federal government to do a single thing* for the next two years, vote Republican.
*Other than buy and use weapons.
I loved the transition from “We will cut taxes!” to “OMG the deficit!”
Also, note that they talk about “the tax cuts set to take effect”, and about their dire consequences, without noting that these numbers are about what would happen if all the Bush tax cuts expire. Those sunsets are what they (and very few Democrats) voted for, and of course Democrats are not in favor of letting them all expire.
I keep saying that Nate has gone over to the Dark Side. In fact, I sent him an email asking why he had done so. I asked him if the Repubs had photos of him or something.
At the time of this publication, the author of 538 has not responded.
Odie Hugh Manatee
The Republican party is following the model of the financial industry; take a bunch of worthless crap, package it up, rate it AAA+, find a bunch of rubes to sell it to and rake in the goods.
It’s a proven formula for success in Amerika.
@Nick: What a very strange post. Predicting what’s going on in the whole country based on events in DC, which has to be the most unrepresentative locale in the nation.
Mike in NC
Not as Old as I Feel
Gee – They really cleaned the cupboard out on this one. Who dusted this stuff off?
A little pinch of Ronnie here, a dash of Newt there, fold in a few quotes from the Founding Fathers and you have the 21 page recipe for bullshit pie, to be consumed in mass quantities and hopefully followed by a lot of hot tea…
As I was suggesting a few threads over, here’s the problem we have today that didn’t exist in the 50s.
If you take the richest 400 Americans – not even enough to fill a 747 – they’re sitting on an accumulated wealth of $1.37T. Now, most of that is banked in large cap equities and other such places, but a lot of it is not actively working for the economy – it’s providing equity support for corporations that are already sitting on mountains of cash. Sure, guys like Bill Gates are doing good things with some of that money through his foundation, but really that’s a drop in the bucket and going mostly toward other things.
If we peeled off even half of that wealth and put it into stimulus efforts, either taxed and dumped into government stimulus efforts – or even better (as those 400 people wouldn’t have to sacrifice nearly so much) invested directly into stimulative projects that would benefit the nation such as creating a funding pool for high speed rail, wind farms, hospitals and clinics and so on. Yeah, some of these won’t be profitable, and maybe they only get back $.50 on the dollar, but that’s better than losing the whole dollar to the feds. No increase to the deficit, no need to saddle the middle class with additional debt by demanding that they go buy shit to prop up demand. The S&P 500 companies are sitting on another $1T in cash. Hell, just Apple, Google, and Intel – all in the same damn county are sitting on over $100B.
We’re talking about four hundred individuals (about what this site has in commenters in a given day) that have the capacity to employ 26 million Americans at the median annual US salary of $52,000 for one year. That’s what the GOP is protecting. That’s what the Democrats are afraid of dealing with.
Why the need for 21 pages? It could have been condensed to the following…
“We pledge to do the exact same shit we’ve been doing for the last 30 years.”
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
actually the comments that Obama destroyed the Democratic party is pretty ludicrous. Apparently Dems were riding pretty high until he came along.
That’s Kent, I remember him, he’s UpstateDem from DailyKos. He was the one who wanted to throw in the towel on the Presidential race and “save Congress” after Sarah Palin was selected as McCain’s running mate.
The house investigations after November 2010 should be spectacular. Real entertainment.
In 1998 the Republicans subpoenae’d Bill Clinton’s Christmas card list. Wonder what they’ll subpoena this time?
Rectal exams of the White House dog to determine whether he has Al Qaeda bombs surgically implanted…skin cell biopsies to Michelle Obama to make sure she isn’t a reptilian alien…NSA scans to test for mind-control rays emanating from the White House roof.
The rest of us will go broke without jobs and die without health insurance, but at least we’ll have some entertainment to watch on the intertubes when we’re homeless and go to the library to get out of the cold.
@mclaren: yeah, well, that’s what your countrymen wanted. You can thank them.
It’s in the book of Saint Ronnie; it’s an article of faith. So it is written, so let it be done. Even if it were conclusively proven that no one will ever have missiles that can reach us, they would still be determined to build it.
(In fact, what they leave out is that they will relentlessly fear-monger the most plausible candidate country they can find to justify it. Remember, they tried to convince us that North Korea was a serious threat to develop missiles that could hit the continental US.)
Odie Hugh Manatee
They won’t try this on her. She’d agree to the test on the condition that all Republican officeholders are also tested.
She would pass and they would fail.
@DonkeyKong: So thaat’s what “Palin” means; “Don’t retreat, Reload.” Grifter code language.
I don’t know what you’re smoking. Sheesh.
Like there’d be any libraries left.
The fact that, by most metrics and predictions, this is what we have to look forward to for the next two years at minimum makes me simply want to drain a bottle of tequila with an aspirin chaser.
My god, we are so unbelievably fucked.
That the GOP seems to have a shot at retaking the House confirms my belief that they have successfully absolved themselves, their practices, and their policies, of any blame for the current state of the nation. They were granted this absolution in part by an infotainment driven media that has reduced the attention span of the average American to the interval between episodes of “Dancing With the Stars.” The rest of their relief came from the fact that no politician from either side (Due to the complicity of both parties) will come out and state the honest truth that America is a nation in decline and extraordinary steps need to be taken to reverse that decline. Both parties are selling the myth that the Good Old Days are right around the corner; we just have to be patient for a bit longer and adhere to whatever their prescription might be.
The demagogues are all waiting in the wings. Me? I’m glad that I’m 62.
I try not to judge people by their age, but I laughed out loud when I found out the guy was 21. By the time he was born, Carter had been out of office for almost 10 years. Yeah, he’s a real expert on the Democratic Party.
I suppose that the sad thing of it all is that an America that would elect these idjits to a majority of any body more important than garbage disposal deserves what it gets. I’m sorry for the rest of us that really didn’t have this coming.
But then – hope springs eternal and all that…
All The Who fans are old fogeys nowadays.
Nothing’s changed. The Democrats defend the needy, while the Repub’s defend the greedy.
Equally amusing are the observations in the comments about how great the Democrats were doing before Obama came along.
They’d been out of power in Congress for 12 of the previous 14 years, had mucked up the two previous POTUS elections, and in 2004, looked like they were headed for long-term minority party status.
It took 6 full years of the most toxic incomptence from Bush before they were able to reclaim a legislative majority.
Actually, Iran is busy trying to get the stuxnet worm off their control systems. A genius delaying tactic.
I just tried reading the Pledge,.. is this some kind of joke? The thing just rambles and is covered in charts. It looks like something someone does at work to pretend they are busy. You have to hunt around to find the actual points which are buried under long explanations. Where’s the short attention span under 30 seconds summery?
actually, i was listening to a recently released who live double cd this morning…included a bluesy rearrangement of “my generation”