Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Fight for a just cause, love your fellow man, live a good life.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

The fight for our country is always worth it. ~Kamala Harris

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

If you’re gonna whine, it’s time to resign!

We can show the world that autocracy can be defeated.

“They all knew.”

Mediocre white men think RFK Jr’s pathetic midlife crisis is inspirational. The bar is set so low for them, it’s subterranean.

Every reporter and pundit should have to declare if they ever vacationed with a billionaire.

Sadly, media malpractice has become standard practice.

“Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on.”

A fool as well as an oath-breaker.

I am pretty sure these ‘journalists’ were not always such a bootlicking sycophants.

If you can’t control your emotions, someone else will.

“Loving your country does not mean lying about its history.”

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

Fear and negativity are contagious, but so is courage!

We do not need to pander to people who do not like what we stand for.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

The willow is too close to the house.

Republicans firmly believe having an abortion is a very personal, very private decision between a woman and J.D. Vance.

Innocent people do not delay justice.

You are here: Home / Open Thread: Fortean Death of the Week

Open Thread: Fortean Death of the Week

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Per the Daily Mail online:

The multi-millionaire owner of the Segway company died in a freak accident yesterday when he rode one of the high-tech two-wheel machines off a cliff and into a river.
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Former miner Jimi Heselden, 62, plunged into the River Wharfe while riding around his West Yorkshire estate in Boston Spa on a rugged country version of the Segway.
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He bought the firm last December and was using one of the machines – which use gyroscopes to remain upright and are controlled by the direction in which the rider leans – to inspect the grounds of his property…

Kid from the projects (council estates) loses his job when Thatcherites destroy the miners unions, patents a “concertina wire mesh and fabric container to be used for building flood management and to limit erosion”, becomes a multi-millionaire with an OBE after his invention “found favour with the armies of several countries, as they allowed effective blast walls, barriers, and revetments to be quickly constructed… shipped (flat-packed) in great numbers to conflict zones including Kosovo, Iraq, and Afghanistan… “ Gives millions to charities, including Help for Heroes. Buys the latest “green commuter” transportation company, and a few months later he’s found dead as the result of a “freak accident” involving one of those transports.

There’s at least one novel to be written here… not to mention a whole intertubez’ worth of conspiracy theories.

Reader Interactions

70Comments

  1. 1.

    Keith G

    As I said in an earlier thread, maybe we should start handing out Segways to American members of Al Queda and save a whole lot of debate.

  3. 3.

    some other guy

    Someone got served his Death Warrant. I’d tell you why he was targeted, but it’s a State Secret.

    Only joking, of course. We don’t need even need the illusion of process to execute foreigners.

    Seriously, though, does anyone actually own a Segway? I’ve seen a few cops on them in Chicago, but I don’t know any individuals who own or want to own one.

  4. 4.

    Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther

    I maintain that if you declare an “Open Thread” and then proceed to tell a freakishly heartbreaking story, you have not, in fact, started an Open Thread.

    I declare Open Thread Fail.

    But yeesh, what a freakishly heartbreaking story!

  9. 9.

    SiubhanDuinne

    I have a colleague who bought a Segway when they first came on the market. She actually rides it to work occasionally.

  14. 14.

    The Golux

    Weird…I was just visiting my sister in Minneapolis a couple of weeks ago, and we spent one afternoon riding Segways on both sides of the Mississippi (it was a guided tour; we couldn’t go off on our own).

    They’re amazing devices, but I guess they haven’t built in sensors to prevent you from getting too close to a precipice.

    I can kind of understand, though: in three hours, my confidence on the machine was ridiculous, and it’s easy to see how someone could let their guard down.

  17. 17.

    Glenndacious Greenwaldian (formerly tim)

    In the U.S., calling an idea or potential explanation a
    “conspiracy theory” is a time tested way of saying STFU, which might often mean that the truth is somewhere nearby.

    I think it’s weird how even on semi-centrist-leftish blogs like BJ, any suggested deviance from the OFFICIAL and APPROVED 9-11 story brings down a torrent of STFU, mockery, and abuse upon the poster.

    We are to accept that there is no gray area between the ridiculous official story with all its loopholes and inconsistencies, and the idea that space aliens rode a hologram into the towers which were then brought down by Satan or something…

    …all the things that aren’t approved topics for public discussion in the U.S. add up to a creepy situation.

  18. 18.

    The Golux

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Yep, I was only there for a couple of days. We crossed the stone arch bridge on the Segways, then went up to the cantilevered deck at the Guthrie.

    I went to Macalester for a year in the 70s. They’ve really spiffed up the Twin Cities since, I must say.

  20. 20.

    Davis X. Machina

    When a conspiracy theory and Ockam’s Razor both go up the same alley, only one of them is coming back out….and my money’s on the Razor.

  23. 23.

    suzanne

    In other news, I hate being pregnant. Like, this really effin’ sucks. I’ve been essentially couch-ridden today with a sinus headache that feels like I took a two-by-four to the face, and I can’t take any good painkillers. And my nose is still bleeding, like, all the damn time. Tylenol is NOT HELPFUL.

    Thank you all for letting me whine. I’m done now.

  24. 24.

    Kristine

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Open Thread? I need some good angst-ridden music. Help me, BJers.

    Belle & Sebastian, if you like melodic-angsty with a touch of twee. If You’re Feeling Sinister. The Boy with the Arab Strap.

    Trespassers William. Just about everything.

  25. 25.

    DougJ is the business and economics editor for Balloon Juice.

    This is a very sad story. I can only hope — and I mean this all sincerity — that Alanis Morisette never uses this as an example of irony.

  26. 26.

    asiangrrlMN

    @The Golux: Yep. We have a music scene and a theatre scene and better restaurants. We clean up pretty good.

    @Moses2317: Thank you for writing consistently in support of true progressive actions and for being enthusiastic about it. I appreciate it.

    @Kristine: I don’t like Belle & Sebastian so much, but I will check out The Boy with the Arab Strap because I’m always feeling sinister. And, I will definitely check out Trespassers William just because I dig the name. Thanks.

    suzanne Bitch away. Just remember that it’s almost December!

  28. 28.

    Davis X. Machina

    Alanis Morisette never uses this as an example of irony.

    I fear, as for Baldrick in Blackadder, for her, ‘irony’ is like ‘brassy’ ‘silvery’, and ‘goldy’, just different.

  29. 29.

    DougJ is the business and economics editor for Balloon Juice.

    @asiangrrlMN:

    I’m never up on recent music but I like the song “One Crowded Hour” along these lines. Also, this is a bit too upbeat to be longing but “French Navy” is good too.

    I won’t inflict the endless angsty ’70s songs that come to mind on you.

  30. 30.

    madmommy

    @suzanne:

    Sorry to hear that. You’re in the home stretch now, right? Being preggers this time of year sucks, especially in the steamier parts of the country. I nearly killed my husband while pregnant with my eldest. He was whining about a head cold. Meanwhile I also had a wicked cold I couldn’t take anything for and was carrying a 9+ pound baby who alternated suffocating me and kicking me in the kidneys. I could only sleep in a recliner, and I hadn’t seen my feet in months.

    No court of law would have convicted me.

  31. 31.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    I think it’s weird how even on semi-centrist-leftish blogs like BJ, any suggested deviance from the OFFICIAL and APPROVED 9-11 Holocaust/Moon Landing/Evolution story brings down a torrent of STFU, mockery, and abuse upon the poster.

    To quote the song posted in the previous thread: Fuck You!

  32. 32.

    jon

    I’m interested in hearing more about his barriers. I imagine that this guy may have saved more of our troops than any single person has so far in these wars. That’s something that could be argued for a bit, and I don’t know about all the armor troops are wearing and any new lifesaving medicine that have popped up in this war, but I’m going to guess that his barriers have saved a lot of our troops’ and their allies’ lives.

    Sounds like a good man, even if he may have died as a klutz.

  33. 33.

    suzanne

    @asiangrrlMN: Awww, thanks. I think my husband is sick of hearing my whimpering. Hell, I know I’m sick of hearing it.

    Also, I’ve been loving The National’s newest record. Fabulous when you need some angst.

  34. 34.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    @asiangrrlMN: Have you heard of a band called The Smiths? ;-)

    Modern English if you ignore that abortion of a tune “Melt With You,” and The Chameleons, esp. Swamp Thing, which will also make shit jump off your walls if your woofer is big enough.

    p.s. If you’ve never heard of these bands, please just hit your search engine. Don’t make me feel old and geeky and shit.

  35. 35.

    suzanne

    @madmommy: Yeah, I think you would have been well within your rights to deliver a swift kick to his ass.

    My ex-husband actually went to sleep while I was in labor, complaining that he was tired. If only I had been able to reach the recliner he was sleeping in… well, we’re divorced. It’s for the best.

  36. 36.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Kristine: I’m digging The Boy with the Arab Strap, but is it just me or is it a really bouncy song?

    @kommrade reproductive vigor: Of course I’ve heard of the Smiths! And Modern English. I will check out the others. And, were you quoting formerly tim in your other post? I have him pied.

    @DougJ is the business and economics editor for Balloon Juice.: Cool. I like hearing about bands/songs I’ve never heard before. I will queue ’em up.

    suzanne, ooooh! I forgot about the National! I will have to listen to them, too. Hey. You’re growing new life in there. That’s not easy.

    ETA: Why the fuck is it that every time I listen to YouTube now I get a fucking Michele Bachmann add first?

  39. 39.

    PurpleGirl

    @some other guy: NYC had bought a bunch and had a pilot project with cops using them in Manhattan. I don’t know what the official report about their use says. They are legal in New York State but not in New York City.

  41. 41.

    Kristine

    @asiangrrlMN: The song does sound bouncy. They do, for the most part. Tis the lyrics that drag them down.

    My two fave songs on that album are Seymour Stein and Simple Things. Stein actually does sound angsty. Simple Things is more of the deceptively peppy.

  43. 43.

    madmommy

    @suzanne:

    Yeah, that’s justifiable homicide. Have you tried saline sprays/drops? It helps moisturize your sinuses and might relieve some of the distress. I’d recommend a neti pot but the whole idea of those just skeeves me out too much.

  46. 46.

    Linda Featheringill

    Yes, I really enjoyed the suggestion for the “theme song for this blog” posted down below.

    But if I can make this work, this is a song for Obots:

    tinyurl.com/26mgzyw

    If not, well . . . .

    Sometimes it works for the whole song and sometimes for only 30 seconds.

    Arthur Adams [with B B King] in The Long Haul. Beautiful song.

    If somebody can get a better link, it would be wonderful.

  51. 51.

    John Bird

    What a terrible statement by Biden today in New Hampshire. If they can get him to stay inside until Election Day I’d be thrilled.

  52. 52.

    suzanne

    @madmommy: I use the neti pot at least once a day (yes, it’s weird, but fabulous) and saline sprays every few hours. They help somewhat. I have ongoing sinus/allergy issues, though, so my doc is not surprised that pregnancy has exacerbated them. I blow my nose and blood comes out. It’s kind of sexy. At least that’s what I tell myself.

  53. 53.

    asiangrrlMN

    You know, I have to say, I really really really admire the vast breath of musical taste the BJ commentariat/front pagers have. I am just blown away. Thanks all for the suggestions. Am currently listening to One Crowded Hour, and it’s amazing (as are the Trespassers William).

    @suzanne: If you’re into that kind of thing, I guess….

  55. 55.

    suzanne

    @Linda Featheringill: Three months. Kid is due December 29, but my doc may go ahead and deliver her early ’cause of my epilepsy. I have wholeheartedly endorsed that idea.

  56. 56.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    Morrissey’s solo work is even gloomier. Johnny Marr’s guitar really did shake things up.

    You think? I think he’s became even more tongue n’ cheeky since then. (I do miss Marr’s work though). Of course, The Last of the Famous International Playboys is a fun and funny song to my unhealthy little mind.

    @scottinnj: I uh. Never saw the movie. [Ducks.] Or The Breakfast Club. [Hits the deck.]

    And, were you quoting formerly tim in your other post? I have him pied.

    Yes, I know I should ignore but sometimes you just gotta squash that bug. And I was joking about not knowing about The Smiths.

  64. 64.

    Kristine

    @kommrade reproductive vigor:

    I do miss Marr’s work though.

    Are you familiar with Electronic? A Marr-Bernard Sumner project. I think they released 3 albums. Definitely a New Order sound more than the Smiths, but I enjoyed their work, especially the first album.

    Playboys is one of my favorite Morrissey songs. I think Tomorrow may be my favorite.

  65. 65.

    Martin

    Ok, where are the geeks tonight. Surely someone else read that title as FORTRAN death of the week. Thought zombie Y2K had arrived.

  66. 66.

    Martin

    @kommrade reproductive vigor: Yes, that is unquestionably the best version of the song. So much so that I’m sure Tears for Fears heard it and thought “Fuck! Why didn’t we think of that!”

    Not unlike NINs reaction to Johnny Cash’s version of Hurt.

  67. 67.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Martin: Oh my god. You mentioned one of my absolute favorite interpretations ever. JC’s version of Hurt is brilliant, evocative, heartbreaking, and just amazing–and this is from someone who loves the original as well. JC also did a really damn good version of Depeche Mode’s Personal Jesus as well.

  70. 70.

    Ella in New Mexico

    Given the absurdity of this guy driving himself off a cliff on his own product, I’m amazed that NO ONE has made a single reference to Arrested Development’s whole Segway under-story.

    Especially loved the episode where Lucille, driving a passed out Michael home, runs over a guy on a Segway she thinks is GOB and then tries to pin it on Michael by shoving him in the driver’s seat after he is knocked out by a rock thrown out of the back seat from the sudden stop. Fucking nuts!

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