Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Jack Smith.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

The words do not have to be perfect.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

I did not have telepathic declassification on my 2022 bingo card.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Excellent Links / Open Thread: DeMinted

Open Thread: DeMinted

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I’m going to argue that it’s not quite Friday yet on the other side of the Mississippi, because I can’t honor my own “Green Balloon Juice No (Overt) Politics Fridays” pledge until I’ve urged everyone to go read Charlie Pierce’s excellent Esquire takedown of The Guy from SC:

Just this week, Senator Jim DeMint settled the basic historical issue once and for all: the Civil War was a massive waste of time, money, and human life — at least as it pertains to the great state of South Carolina.
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OK, so we’d have missed out on some good songs, and that Ending Slavery thing was a good deal, and Ken Burns wouldn’t be as rich and famous, and a lot of grizzled men who like to play soldier-man dress-up would have to go back to the Star Trek conventions where they belong. I will grant you all that. But, at the very least, we would have been spared to piteous spectacle this week of the World’s Greatest Deliberative Body — and, through that the World’s Greatest Republic — being seized entirely by a slick, Leviticus-mumbling grifter. DeMint is what Jesus would have been had He gone into real estate, hustling swamp properties outside Capernaum to various Galilean suckers.
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This week, DeMint announced that he would employ his senatorial privileges to put a hold on virtually all legislation until after the midterm elections. After which, he anticipates giddily, the clown car will stop at the steps of the Capitol and disgorge its contents, all of whom will have the propellers on their beanies spinning in the same direction as his. This is what democratic self-government has come down to in the 21st Century — a coup DeMint.
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He doesn’t really have a grip on the etiquette, though. Usually, when you seize control of the government, the first thing you do is grab the radio station, so you can explain why you did it, and then you blockade the airports to make sure you have an audience. Of course, Jim DeMint hasn’t had to bother with all that. He has the Senate Rules, and he has the will to use them, and he is, after all, from South Carolina, which has always considered its membership in the United States of America to be largely honorary. […]

Yes, there’s more. By all means, go read the whole indictment!

Reader Interactions

68Comments

  2. 2.

    Moses2317

    This article about the effective administration of the stimulus bill by President Obama is a great example of the value of having people in power who actually care about making government run well, rather than Republicans who have a vested interest in making government as ineffective as possible.


    Winning Progressive

  3. 3.

    BGinCHI

    Hazel Motes, people. Flannery O’Connor nailed this shit down in Wise Blood.

    The smooth (kind of) southern grifter who spouts morals and takes money and gives you the creeps.

    Hey Jim, meet you at the zoo.

  7. 7.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Surely Bob Jones’ Own Senator will be a frontrunner in 2012 and it seems kinda fitting in an End Times sorta way.

  10. 10.

    Wile E. Quixote

    The real tragedy of the Civil War is that the Union Army didn’t have thermonuclear weapons. It’s also a tragedy that after the war we didn’t hang every officer in the Confederate Army and brand a “T” for “traitor” into the forehead of all of the Confederate troops and tell them that they wouldn’t be allowed to vote and that if they were seen within 100 yards of a polling place on election day that they would be killed.

  12. 12.

    Yutsano

    @asiangrrlMN: No one said we had to drink it necessarily. Just muddle him until he’s a nice pulpy mess then declare the experiment a failure and shoot the bourbon.

  13. 13.

    Ailuridae

    Man, I love Charles Pierce’s work. It is a shame that nobody has ever elevated him to the stature that work deserves. This is an amazing piece.

  17. 17.

    Ailuridae

    Since this is an open thread I should mention that I am celebrating that the invisible hand has actually worked right today and allowed me to take home more of my “hard earned” money. Woot cut throat competition!

  18. 18.

    morzer

    Historically South Carolina has been running pretty strongly in the Most Wankerific State competition, and it really seems they are closing in on definitive, total victory.

  20. 20.

    asiangrrlMN

    @morzer: I like your combination of factual tone (historically) and made-up words (wankerific). Nicely done. Though, there are a few other states that would like to have a word with you about that title and the bestowing thereof.

  21. 21.

    morzer

    @asiangrrlMN:

    I fear “wankerific” has been a staple of British prose for some time now. Doctor Johnson glossed it in his dictionary as “deserving incredulity or scorn”.

  23. 23.

    Ailuridae

    I guess I have never come clean on any of this here. I play poker (on-line) full time and have for about six years (when I was still trading and the SEC and I had very different takes on some transactions/interactions I had with Goldman Sachs)

    There are two high volume providers in the market PokerStars and Full Tilt Poker. They make their money on rake and then provide some of that rake back to high volume players (“rakeback”). In theory these two companies should compete for my business by returning as much rake to me as possible while still getting some rake from me because of the volume I do. It had been a stuck market til Monday when when Full Tilt came up with a better rewards program prompting Stars to respond. Today I get more back from both sites that I did on on Monday.

    I play a lot of hands (I’ll clear 3 million hands this year) so this money means more “guaranteed” money to me. Online poker is a crazy industry and tough to explain. The bonus structure is lucrative enough that one can play substantially losing poker and make the money back in bonuses. I am looking at the stats for another player I play with all the time from somewhere in Hubei (middle of China). He’ll lose 40K at the tables this year while making 110K in bonuses. 70K in Hubei is a fortune.

    I’m having second thoughts about entering this but ….

  25. 25.

    Ailuridae

    I’m in moderation for using an illegal word but I swear it isn’t SPAM.

    Now I know why I have never explained this before.

  26. 26.

    jc

    I haven’t been on Balloon Juice for the last couple of days – jesus, two days, you miss like 20 posts around here? – anyway, sorry if this is a repeat, but this story of the Michiganassistant attorney general harassing a gay college student leader, is just insane, and also hilarious. (And I just saw it, so I’m posting here).

    First off, reading the Youtube comments, first thing everyone picks up on is ‘as soon as Andrew Shrivell speaks, my gaydar totally goes off”.

    That’s the assistant attorney general.

    Also – the Attorney General (of Michigan) is Michael Cox.

    So – you think there is a lawyer’s door somewhere, with the attorney general’s and then the assistant attorney general’s name on it?

    I mean, the ads alone – “Mike Cox/Drew Shrivell representing YOU people of Michigan!!”

    I mean – REALLY!! It’s straight outta Porky’s, just with an insane closet gay Christianist twist!!

  31. 31.

    Andy K

    @jc:

    That only works if you’re spelling the Assistant AG’s name incorrectly. It’s spelled S H I R V E L L.

    Sorry for killing your buzz.

  32. 32.

    Andy K

    @jc:

    Okay, my last attempt to correct this didn’t even go to moderation…

    You’re spelling the assistant AG’s name incorrectly. The correct spelling is Shirvell. The i comes before the r.

  41. 41.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Ailuridae: So is the place in which you play it. As well as the well-known culprit sociaIism and its lesser-know companion, speciaIist. And, for a time, shoes was verboten as well, though it’s now acceptable. Oh, the merry whims of the spam filter!

    @MattR: Two dildi and a wetsuit?

    As for me #adopts virtuous tone#, I have no secrets.

  47. 47.

    Andy K

    @MattR:

    That ‘no basement’ thing is odd to me. I don’t think I’ve ever been in a house here in Michigan that didn’t have one.

  50. 50.

    Andy K

    @asiangrrlMN:

    As for me #adopts virtuous tone#, I have no secrets.

    Well, except that you aren’t Margaret Cho.

    But I guess you cleared that up a few days ago.

  51. 51.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Ailuridae: I know, but you had a typo, so I had to give you grief for it. You rock on with your bad self! This fits into my country side!

    @fucen tarmal: Ew! Republican stains!

    @Andy K: Except, I may be double-secreting you by saying I’m not when I actually am. Oooooh, sneaky!

  52. 52.

    MattR

    @asiangrrlMN: I do have a dog named Ellie. Is that close enough? I am trying to upload some pics from the shore house but Flickr is not cooperating.

    @Andy K: I’ve never had a basement and was always jealous of my friends who had one. In an apt right now so it is obviously now an option, but pretty sure when I sell this place the house I buy will have one.

  54. 54.

    asiangrrlMN

    @MattR: No. But, if you post pics of her, I will exempt you from the ‘A’ name rule.

    I have a basement, too, and it’s also odd to me as a Minnesotan to think about a house without a basement.

    Oh fer. All right. I’m outie, too. Night, bitchez.

  55. 55.

    Andy K

    @asiangrrlMN:

    I..Uh…What?

    I’m so confused!

    In the words of Steve Martin’s character in a very silly, sorta underrated comedy, “Into the mud, scum queen!”

    And with that, I bid you a fond ‘adieu’.

  56. 56.

    MattR

    @asiangrrlMN: Finally got these uploaded. (Hope the link works) I wish I had better ones but she doesn’t particularly like the attention of the camera.

    (EDIT: I found this listing on petfinder yesterday from a shelter in my neck of the woods. She looks like a slightly larger version of ellie. If only I had the space for another dog. Though I am thinking about fostering a cat to see how Ellie and I handle them)

  57. 57.

    Anne Laurie

    To all the A-named commentors: Thank you very much, but it’s ANNE LAURIE, a double-barrelled first name, which I should’ve just put a hyphen into except that FYWP is very bad with hyphens.

    @Andy K:
    __

    That ‘no basement’ thing is odd to me. I don’t think I’ve ever been in a house here in Michigan that didn’t have one.

    Oddly enough, Michigan is where I was first introduced to the concept… “crawl space” was not a phrase we used in NYC. The Spousal Unit, who grew up in The Mitten, vaguely remembered being told that it had something to do with the sandy soil. Seemed odd to me, especially since all the Midwesterns were (to my mind) illogically terrified of tornadoes, but there it is.

  59. 59.

    middlewest

    @jc: It should also be noted that Mike Cox’s republican opponent for AG is named Bill Schuette. The Cox-Schuette battle is sure to be thrilling for Mr. Shrivel.

  62. 62.

    SRW1

    “… South Carolina, which has always considered its membership in the United States of America to be largely honorary. “

    Now I understand why Confederalists hate institutions like the UN so much: they already have serious reservations about the US.

  63. 63.

    Boudica

    @Andy K: I lived in base housing outside Detroit in high school…no basement and a carport. The rumor was that the blueprints had been mixed up and there was base housing somewhere in Florida with basements and garages…..

  65. 65.

    debbie

    @ Yutsano:

    I remember Nathalie’s cooking show. With all her warm, old-style Southern hospitality (“It’s all about your table”), could she actually survive the cut-throat world of politics?

  66. 66.

    Wile E. Quixote

    @middlewest:

    Port Orchard, Washington, the town where I grew up, has been represented in Congress the last 30 years by Democrat Norm Dicks, who, even though Kitsap County is conservative, easily wins every election because he keeps the Puget Sound Naval Shipyard, the largest employer in Kitsap County, in business. Back in 1980 Dicks was challenged by a law professor, a Republican by the name of Jim Beaver. Yeah, Dicks versus Beaver.

  67. 67.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Anne Laurie: That’s why I call you AL! But then I think of Anonymous Liberal and get all confused.

    @MattR: Awwwww….Ellie looks so comfy in her bed by the shore. Thanks for the pic. Made me smile. And, yes, foster a cat if you can. Get the other pup if you can!

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