Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

We can show the world that autocracy can be defeated.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

“When somebody takes the time to draw up a playbook, they’re gonna use it.”

There are consequences to being an arrogant, sullen prick.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

If you voted for Trump, you don’t get to speak about ethics, morals, or rule of law.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Fight them, without becoming them!

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

It is not hopeless, and we are not helpless.

I like political parties that aren’t owned by foreign adversaries.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

Never give a known liar the benefit of the doubt.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

People are weird.

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

Giving in to doom is how authoritarians win.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

There are more Russians standing up to Putin than Republicans.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

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Reader Interactions

34Comments

  1. 1.

    Yutsano

    Please, for the love of all that is holy, whatever you do, do NOT puke on Tunch plz! Oh and cover it up if things look like they’re heading that direction. Kthxbai!

  8. 8.

    Ripley

    Me, also, too. The ties that bind and all that rot.

    To all of ya, an old toast I heard once:

    Love, Money
    Happiness and Health
    And enough time to enjoy them all

    Skol!

  16. 16.

    JWL

    And the best part is how great you’ll feel when you wake up tomorrow afternoon behind the couch with eyebrows shaved and vulgar lipstick messages scrawled all over your vomit covered body…

  17. 17.

    Rosalita

    well done Cole. and your post was lucid and typo free… got bloody mary’s for the hair of the dog?

  20. 20.

    cmorenc

    John:

    Just remember that tales of evenings ending with worshiping the porcelain god twenty years ago are lots cuter than freshly reliving the experience.

  21. 21.

    Michael D.

    I am snot hanging, knee-crawling drunk

    When you’re out looking for a job in the future and your prospective employer searches on “John Cole”, remember this post.

  22. 22.

    Carrie

    This will not end well.
    A bacon sandwich with a glass of tomato juice should help settle your queasy stomach. Oh, and a dash of cayenne.

    Let’s just hope the critters let you sleep in a little this morning.

  23. 23.

    Jamey

    snot hanging, knee-crawling drunk, hanging out with people I have not seen in twenty years, and having a shitload of fun

    So, in essence, it’s like any other day, except that you’re having fun…

    /I keed.

  25. 25.

    Mrs. Polly

    Oh, Mr. Cole.

    Too late for this hangover, but you’re about to be deeply grateful for a kinder universe:

    Peppermint oil. Not ingested, but mixed, one part peppermint, to two parts rubbing alchohol, kept in a small bottle, by your bed of pain. Shake well, and, just as in that annoying commercial, APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD.

    Use Q-tips, or tissue, or accept that you won’t be able to touch tender tissue with your fingers for about 20 minutes, while that delicious coolness brightens your brain cells. It’s like a cool cloth that won’t fall off! And it works as well as/in conjunction with any of your headache pills.

    A bit dabbed just inside the nostrils will also do wonders for a stuffed nose, and it also is good for insect bites.

    Plus, as heiress to the Polly Peppermint wells, I will become an even more diabolically rich latté-sipping fauxgressive!

  30. 30.

    kwAwk

    What no pictures? You’re slipping Cole…

    Now we’ll have to make fun of our own friends and families….

  32. 32.

    Daddy-O

    It’s already the Morning After, but I have to add this, John Cole: Isn’t seeing old friends for the first time in years going into the Time Machine a BLAST?

    Seeing old friends…there’s nothing like it in the world. I’m VERY glad it was such a great success for you!

  33. 33.

    Jason T.

    Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle. Apparently I had a brush with greatness! I was in your fair village last night … my lovely and talented SO is an alumna.

    We were at a reception at the art gallery. At first I was trying to sound semi-intellectual, but somewhere after the third glass of red wine, I was just trying to sound semi-sober.

  34. 34.

    Glenndacious Greenwaldian (formerly tim)

    I am snot hanging, knee-crawling drunk

    This differs from any other day…how?

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