Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Republicans can’t even be trusted with their own money.

When do the post office & the dmv weigh in on the wuhan virus?

White supremacy is terrorism.

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Jack Smith.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

A consequence of cucumbers

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

DeSantis transforms Florida into 1930s Germany with gators and theme parks.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

Just because you believe it, that doesn’t make it true.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

This blog will pay for itself.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

Joe Lieberman disappointingly reemerged to remind us that he’s still alive.

I’m sure you banged some questionable people yourself.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

I was promised a recession.

Not all heroes wear capes.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

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Reader Interactions

34Comments

  1. 1.

    Yutsano

    Please, for the love of all that is holy, whatever you do, do NOT puke on Tunch plz! Oh and cover it up if things look like they’re heading that direction. Kthxbai!

  8. 8.

    Ripley

    Me, also, too. The ties that bind and all that rot.

    To all of ya, an old toast I heard once:

    Love, Money
    Happiness and Health
    And enough time to enjoy them all

    Skol!

  16. 16.

    JWL

    And the best part is how great you’ll feel when you wake up tomorrow afternoon behind the couch with eyebrows shaved and vulgar lipstick messages scrawled all over your vomit covered body…

  17. 17.

    Rosalita

    well done Cole. and your post was lucid and typo free… got bloody mary’s for the hair of the dog?

  20. 20.

    cmorenc

    John:

    Just remember that tales of evenings ending with worshiping the porcelain god twenty years ago are lots cuter than freshly reliving the experience.

  21. 21.

    Michael D.

    I am snot hanging, knee-crawling drunk

    When you’re out looking for a job in the future and your prospective employer searches on “John Cole”, remember this post.

  22. 22.

    Carrie

    This will not end well.
    A bacon sandwich with a glass of tomato juice should help settle your queasy stomach. Oh, and a dash of cayenne.

    Let’s just hope the critters let you sleep in a little this morning.

  23. 23.

    Jamey

    snot hanging, knee-crawling drunk, hanging out with people I have not seen in twenty years, and having a shitload of fun

    So, in essence, it’s like any other day, except that you’re having fun…

    /I keed.

  25. 25.

    Mrs. Polly

    Oh, Mr. Cole.

    Too late for this hangover, but you’re about to be deeply grateful for a kinder universe:

    Peppermint oil. Not ingested, but mixed, one part peppermint, to two parts rubbing alchohol, kept in a small bottle, by your bed of pain. Shake well, and, just as in that annoying commercial, APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD.

    Use Q-tips, or tissue, or accept that you won’t be able to touch tender tissue with your fingers for about 20 minutes, while that delicious coolness brightens your brain cells. It’s like a cool cloth that won’t fall off! And it works as well as/in conjunction with any of your headache pills.

    A bit dabbed just inside the nostrils will also do wonders for a stuffed nose, and it also is good for insect bites.

    Plus, as heiress to the Polly Peppermint wells, I will become an even more diabolically rich latté-sipping fauxgressive!

  30. 30.

    kwAwk

    What no pictures? You’re slipping Cole…

    Now we’ll have to make fun of our own friends and families….

  32. 32.

    Daddy-O

    It’s already the Morning After, but I have to add this, John Cole: Isn’t seeing old friends for the first time in years going into the Time Machine a BLAST?

    Seeing old friends…there’s nothing like it in the world. I’m VERY glad it was such a great success for you!

  33. 33.

    Jason T.

    Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle. Apparently I had a brush with greatness! I was in your fair village last night … my lovely and talented SO is an alumna.

    We were at a reception at the art gallery. At first I was trying to sound semi-intellectual, but somewhere after the third glass of red wine, I was just trying to sound semi-sober.

  34. 34.

    Glenndacious Greenwaldian (formerly tim)

    I am snot hanging, knee-crawling drunk

    This differs from any other day…how?

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