Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

Let me file that under fuck it.

I might just take the rest of the day off and do even more nothing than usual.

Many life forms that would benefit from greater intelligence, sadly, do not have it.

We can’t confuse what’s necessary to win elections with the policies that we want to implement when we do.

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

“Loving your country does not mean lying about its history.”

Human rights are not a matter of opinion!

Republicans want to make it harder to vote and easier for them to cheat.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

The willow is too close to the house.

Radicalized white males who support Trump are pitching a tent in the abyss.

Too little, too late, ftfnyt. fuck all the way off.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

Rupert, come get your orange boy, you petrified old dinosaur turd.

Trump’s cabinet: like a magic 8 ball that only gives wrong answers.

I did not have this on my fuck 2025 bingo card.

How any woman could possibly vote for this smug smarmy piece of misogynistic crap is beyond understanding.

The revolution will be supervised.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

When I was faster i was always behind.

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Open Thread

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Hosting an alumni BBQ and fraternity reunion, but thought I would check in on you dears.

Funny story- it’s been at least fifteen years or more since I bought a keg. Went to buy a keg, and asked the lady if I need a two prong or ball tap, and she looked at me like I was on glue and speaking Russian.

BTW- when four 40-45 year old men drink a bottle of Tuaca and a bottle of jager at 2 am, there are awful repercussions the next morning.

Reader Interactions

70Comments

  1. 1.

    General Stuck

    I finally broke down and am eating the single cucumber gleaned from my garden fail this year. I been saving it for a special occasion, but et it anyways. I think the mix of soil that once was productive, is whacked out chemically, or something, that fertilizer wouldn’t help.

    Life is not as exciting in wilds of NM, but is quiet and that is good enough/

  2. 2.

    JPL

    when four 40-45 year old men drink a bottle of Tuaca and a bottle of jager at 2 am, there are awful repercussions the next morning.

    Well No Shit……………

  4. 4.

    Danny

    Yeah, the energy Ultraman gets from the sun, just does not cut it when you turn the corner at 40. The good thing is, I have not prayed to the porcelain God in ages because of that.

  7. 7.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Fraternity reunion? Dunno why, but I really never conceived of John Cole as a frat boy.

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  8. 8.

    buckyblue

    Went to buy a keg, and asked the lady if I need a two prong or ball tap,

    Ok, clue me in, I guess its been as long for me. What do they use these days? Do we download it online and enjoy it with our close Facebook friends?

  10. 10.

    Scott

    BTW- when four 40-45 year old men drink a bottle of Tuaca and a bottle of jager at 2 am, there are awful repercussions the next morning.

    So glad I don’t go to reunions.

  13. 13.

    RedKitten

    when four 40-45 year old men drink a bottle of Tuaca and a bottle of jager at 2 am, there are awful repercussions the next morning.

    Seconding the “no shit” comment.

  14. 14.

    SteveinSC

    Jesus, JC, you or some of your friends have the worst taste in alcohol I’ve encountered outside circus geeks. I bet you put a piece of lime in the top of your fucking Corona.

  16. 16.

    Jim C

    My fraternity brothers are having a reunion this weekend too – wish I could have been there.

    Have a drink on me, John.

  19. 19.

    Mark S.

    Here’s tomorrow’s Open Thread post:

    BTW- when 40-45 year old men have keg stand competitions at 2 am, there are awful repercussions the next morning.

  20. 20.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @asiangrrlMN #17:

    Hey, maybe he’ll get so drunk tonight he’ll forget his sacred vows and post the Secret Fraternity Password.

    Or maybe, JUST MAYBE, he’ll get totally drunk and forget his pledge to never post another picture of Tunch. (Well, it’s the only explanation I can think of.)

  21. 21.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @asiangrrlMN #17:

    Hey, maybe he’ll get so drunk tonight he’ll forget his sacred vows and post the Secret Fraternity Password.

    Or maybe, JUST MAYBE, he’ll get totally drunk and forget his pledge to never post another picture of Tunch. (Well, it’s the only explanation I can think of.)

  22. 22.

    stuckinred

    I quit that drinkin shit when I was 45, don’t miss a bit. It’s a sucker game run by the corporate scum!

  25. 25.

    Corner Stone

    @asiangrrlMN:

    I can’t imagine Cole as a frat brother.

    Why not? He’s a joiner and a follower.
    Frat, Republican Party, Military. Maybe not in that order.
    Dude’s been doing nothing but his whole life.

  26. 26.

    asiangrrlMN

    @SiubhanDuinne: The second. I think you’re on to something. Or, Tunchie and he made some kind of backdoor deal about not posting pics of his Tunchieness. Feh.

    @Corner Stone: Well, I can’t see Cole as a Republican or military, either, so there’s that. Just not how I see him.

  27. 27.

    Corner Stone

    And I hate to tell you this, but anyone over the age of 24 who still drinks Jager?
    It’s more than kinda sad.

  29. 29.

    Jane2

    With taste like that in alcohol, I’m shocked you didn’t have a beer chaser to really seal the deal.

  30. 30.

    Mark S.

    @Scott Parkerson:

    If I saw a John Galt billboard I’d probably start laughing so hard I’d end up in a ditch.

    ETA: How does USC still have all their timeouts left? Haven’t they been using them?

    Looks like USC is going down.

  32. 32.

    Corner Stone

    God damn. Who but stupid high school girls could drink Jager or Goldschlager?
    And Tuaca? Jesus Christ. Don’t any of you 40 year olds have $15 between you for some Sauza at least?
    This just breaks my fucking heart.

  33. 33.

    Comrade Mary

    when four 40-45 year old men drink a bottle of Tuaca and a bottle of jager at 2 am, there are awful repercussions the next morning.

    I hope to God Tunch got some incriminating pics and that he has posting privileges.

  35. 35.

    sfinny

    The whole keg thing gets me because I can’t remember the last time I tried to get one. Probably was before I was legal and the questions about the appropriate tap were absolutely valid. So I guess the whole idea that I’m old is reinforced by this reunion post. So sad.

  38. 38.

    trollhattan

    @Mark S.:

    A few days ago I was making fun of a forum thread that was going Galty, basically pointed out things were sounding “Ayn Randish” when one of the culprits thanked me for the observation, sincerely I suspected. I whupped out the old “Atlas Shrugged” vs “Hobbit” quote for the occasion.

    Some folks just belieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeve.

  42. 42.

    Kyle

    @Scott Parkerson:

    On I-5 a couple hours north of Sacramento there is a “Show us the birth certificate” billboard (put up by a Galtian farmer getting rich off taxpayer-paid irrigation projects and farm subsidies). A sure sign you’re entering a wingnut-stupid zone.

  43. 43.

    sfinny

    When Scalzi mentioned yogurt taking over the world, I empathized with the whole weird idea response to actual life events. But his response is the finest of all. We should all bow down to our curdled overlords.

  44. 44.

    apikoros

    @buckyblue: Buckyblue, there used to be two different systems for tapping a beer keg in the US, Sankey (the ball type) and Hoff-Stevens (the two-prong type). Think Betamax and VHS, except in reverse (the better system won in this case:). The Hoff-Stevens depended on a figure-8 gasket that leaked like a sieve and everyone hated and eventually the Sankey system just won out. Today, the only Hoff-Stevens kegs around are those salvaged by home brewers who can’t afford a new keg. If you are John’s age (or mine) and you have not bought a keg in a couple decades (as John apparently has not, but I sure have) then you might think that the Hoff-Stevens system was still around, and not one with the Edison cylindrical sound recording.

  45. 45.

    Yutsano

    @MikeJ: My Cougar ass is gonna keep his mouth shut for now. At least I won’t have to deal with any of this until Monday. But I knew what I was getting myself into moving to Huskyville.

  46. 46.

    Geoduck

    @Kyle:

    There’s a similar billboard along I-5 here in SW Washington State, although it’s been around for, what, twenty years? It features a haggard-looking Uncle Sam, and can be changed to display whatever the far-right-wing talking point of the moment is. It’s a local landmark, and always good for a laugh.

  47. 47.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Yutsano: OK. I’m blockquoting this:

    My Cougar ass is gonna keep his mouth shut for now

    and let it stand without snarky commentary, though so many jokes are running through my mind right now.

  48. 48.

    Yutsano

    @asiangrrlMN: Are you mocking the fact that the Dawg is eight years younger than me? And that I’m reminded of that fact early and often? I guess it could be worse, the Cougar I’m referring to could be BYU. Which incidentally I got into, but it’s hella expensive if you’re not a Mormon.

  51. 51.

    Yutsano

    @asiangrrlMN: Still talking to me when he can, which is about what I was expecting. Deployment bites hard. I think I nicked him a bit though, he called me a tease.

  54. 54.

    Yutsano

    @asiangrrlMN: You’re echoing. Whatever Omnes has must be catching. :)

    Last convo was more a check on each other than anything else. I think he might be interested, but I’m not going to bring that up while he’s off saving the planet. Marines and Superman complexes, I swear.

  55. 55.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN)

    @asiangrrlMN: I don’t know if you saw posts from earlier today. I’m hoping to bring Eddie home tomorrow or Monday.

  58. 58.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN)

    From earlier:

    “The surgeon called this morning to say that Eddie is still doing fine, so getting out of his bandage last night was something less than a catastrophe. If Dr. Biskip decides tomorrow that he will only need one more trip this week, Eddie can come home. He’ll have to go back mid-to-late week for another check, and again in about two weeks to get the stitches removed. I don’t think he’s going to have a big problem figuring out how to walk missing a couple of toes, even though they’re the weight bearing ones on his only front paw.

    Ringling has to go to the dentist on Thursday. Both she and Dirk have gingivitis, and I’m supposed to brush their teeth every other day. It’s a fight with Dirk, but that’s because he wants to eat the seafood flavored toothpaste and I spend the whole time wrestling with his tongue. Ringling won’t let me get near her if I’m carrying the brush, so she has to go in for a teeth cleaning. “

  60. 60.

    Yutsano

    @asiangrrlMN: Best part about it is how he’ll hit me over the head with it while I’m not looking. Of course I can’t chase the dumb pretty ones, I gotta be attracted to brains too. I will say this for him: he reacted better than most have to me becoming an evil gubmint worker.

  61. 61.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Yutsano: Of course you gotta have someone with brains. Ya gotta talk about SOMETHING in between the bow-chick-bow-bow. I’m glad you’re still communicating with him. Can’t wait to meet him! (As your fake-wifey, I get to vet him, don’t you know, pun semi-intended).

  62. 62.

    Yutsano

    @asiangrrlMN: Yeah, the nookie is nice and all but truth be told I just wanna TALK to him. Or talk with him is a more accurate statement. The fact that we are two very different people with two hugely disparate backgrounds that connect so well is fascinating to me. He interests me to no end. I really don’t know if there’s a single word for that.

    And regardless of how you feel about the wars, this is all kinds of awesome. There’s a picture associated with this that has both major squee and tear inducing potential.

  63. 63.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Yutsano: Yep. You have a rapport. I understand that very well. Cherish it when you can find it.

    And, on that note, I’m going to take a nap. Have a good night.

    ETA: Aw. Puppehs. I will check it out after my nap.

  64. 64.

    Angry Black Lady

    I’m “friends” with some Republican dumbass on Facebook (the kind of ‘pulican that never responds to my arguments because he CAN’T) He just posted this:
    ” I guess one good turn deserves another. lol. Editing and source materials go along way to present whatever you want to convey. I’ve seen used to falsely represent Tea Party people, so here you go. Have at it. lol”
    and linked this video.

    ooooooh scaaawwwy.

    ::eyeroll::

    contrasted with this? give me the scary russian music and red star emblems any day.

    do these fucknuts even understand what socialism or communism actually is?

    that’s a rhetorical question.

    lol. or whatever.

  67. 67.

    Cold War Zoomie

    When four 40-45 year old men drink a bottle of Tuaca and a bottle of jager at 2 am, there are awful repercussions the next morning

    Next morning? More like the next few days.

  68. 68.

    JR in WV

    You young whippersnappers sound like you done forgot how to drink!

    I’m 59 (can’t f’ing believe I made it this far!!!!) and we’re having an OctoberFest in 2 weeks, for deciding who the best home brewer in two counties is. Whooot!

    Now that’s a reunion! I’m praying to FSM that I get picked as designated driver, an excuse to not drink. Not really. Just jokin’.

    Interesting about kegs, I wondered what happened to tapping hardware.

    Shame about MU, I hoped Doc would cure what ailes them. I hope the “fans” in Huntington give him time to recruit his own guys and run his own team.

    What makes this weekend homecoming when WVU has a bye week?

  69. 69.

    Gus

    @buckyblue: I assume that ball is the only way now. It’s been 10 years for me, but I used to buy them pretty regularly. I lived in a bachelor pad with a homemade keg fridge.

  70. 70.

    Cain

    BTW- when four 40-45 year old men drink a bottle of Tuaca and a bottle of jager at 2 am, there are awful repercussions the next morning.

    Well hopefully you ended up with the cute one.

    cain

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