Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

As long as McCarthy is Speaker, the House will never be in order.

How are Republicans going to find someone with more charisma and personal charm than Jim Jordan?

“Cheese and Kraken paired together for the appetizer trial.”

And so it is for the politically and morally bankrupt Kevin McCarthy.

How can republicans represent us when they don’t trust women?

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

Let there be snark.

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

There is no right way to do the wrong thing.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

An almost top 10,000 blog!

We need to vote them all out and restore sane Democratic government.

If you are still in the GOP, you are either an extremist yourself, or in bed with those who are.

I know this must be bad for Joe Biden, I just don’t know how.

When we show up, we win.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Glad to see john eastman going through some things.

“That’s what the insurrection act is for!”

Tick tock motherfuckers!

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102Comments

  1. 1.

    General Stuck

    Mind you, I’m one of those who thinks the wild card makes us weak as a nation and as a people.

    that be atroturf and the designated hitter. The astroturf abomination has ended, or nearly so. But we need a constitutional amendment banning the DH once and for fucking ever.

    edit – and even thought the no hitter was against my Reds, kudos to Mr. Halladay. No hitters are a special achievement, especially in post season.

  4. 4.

    Ailuridae

    I was just about to write something about how excited I was that the TWINT were winning over my childhood team and then the Yankees chase Liriano out with four in the top of the sixth.

    Liriano had been throwing a two hit gem before that.

  6. 6.

    TooManyJens

    Since this is an open thread:

    I think I need to replace the diverter valve in my kitchen faucet. I thought the sprayer head had gone bad, but when I took it off I could still only get a trickle of water through the hose. The hose itself seems fine — it isn’t kinked or anything — so Google tells me that the problem is probably mineral deposits on the diverter valve. Is this something I can attempt myself, or should I throw in the towel and continue to go without a sprayer? It hasn’t worked in the five years we’ve lived in this house, so it’s not like I desperately need it.

  9. 9.

    beltane

    @TooManyJens: I would throw in the towel until the day comes when you need a whole new faucet. Then again, I tend to be a slacker about these things.

  10. 10.

    John W.

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Glenn Beck apparently on his show talked about progressive battle turtles or something. This led almost immediately to the Twitter account @marxistturtles which is pretty good.

    I don’t watch enough Beck to understand what he’s trying to say, but it sounds very ridiculous.

  11. 11.

    Eric S

    I’m reading Big Hair and Plastic Grass about 1970’s baseball and I came across this quote.

    “I can think of a lot of worse things in baseball than marijuana or peyote, if used in moderation. Things such as walks, designated hitters, and Astro Turf” – Bill “Spaceman” Lee.

    I was on the El on the way home when I got a text about Halladay’s on going no-no. I got off at the next stop and found the closest bar to watch the rest of it. Even though my Cardinals crashed miserably (kudos to Cinci) I love post season baseball and Doc was especially fantastic today.

  12. 12.

    Ailuridae

    My local Chamber of Commerce isn’t nearly as awful as the national one. But they’ve recently been asking member businesses to post those “Don’t Hand Out, Help Out” bills to post in their windows. Nothing new there and nothing to disagree with at least on my end.

    I just noticed that on the bottom the message is no longer “Brought to you by the Wicker Park/Bucktown Chamber of Commerce” but is now “Brought to you by the Chicago Police Department – 13th District”. I’m not a big advancing police state guy but it weirded me out.

  13. 13.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @DougJ: Agree about the wild card, even though that’s all that got my Braves to post-season this year. But in general, yeah. Three divisions. Interleague play. DH. ‘Stroturf. And (sorry, asiangrrlMN but not very), domed stadiums for BASEBALL.

  15. 15.

    Ailuridae

    @TooManyJens:

    If you have a decent home repair place (and even most Home Depots qualify) I would just head over and ask their plumbing person how hard it would be. And it sounds like you have done some work before so ask them to compare it to something else you have done.

    I’ve replaced a shower diverter valve and it was trivially easy.

  16. 16.

    beltane

    @John W.: I’ve heard of war elephants but never battle turtles. Did Glenn Beck mention if Hannibal rode one of those battle turtles through the Alpine passes as he invaded Italy?

  19. 19.

    danimal

    @SiubhanDuinne: Don’t worry about offending Minnesotans, the Twinkies play on God’s green grass under the stars nowadays.

    Which is why they should beat the Rays and go to the Series. (FTFY and anything associated with GWB).

    I’m just now accepting that my beloved Padres choked in September and didn’t even get to be a wild card, even if it is an abomination.

  20. 20.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @beltane: It could be a reference to the testudo or tortoise formation used by Roman legions or it could be complete nonsense.

  22. 22.

    Ailuridae

    @danimal:

    As a White Sox fan (and a Yankees’ fan in my youth) I am cheering for the Twins to go as far as possible in hopes that the Sox will start emulating the TWINT front office rather than their current path.

  24. 24.

    Steeplejack

    @DougJ is the business and economics editor for Balloon Juice:

    “Holiday”? My second-favorite Madonna song, after the one from Vision Quest, “Into the Groove.”

    . . . Huh. YouTube tells me that song is from Desperately Seeking Susan, but I have a clear memory of Madonna dancing with Matthew Modine. Maybe I Photoshopped him into that movie (or the video).

    Anyway, may have to demote that song, because I forgot about “Dress You Up.” That could be my favorite Madonna song. Really.

    . . . Whoa. After watching that video, I really don’t think we need to revisit the ’80s. Or at least that part of it. Carry on.

    Going to YouTube to find a palate-cleansing sorbet.

  25. 25.

    DougJ is the business and economics editor for Balloon Juice.

    @Steeplejack:

    It’s because the guy who threw the no-hitter is named Halladay.

    I’m going to have to get old-school on your ass and say that my favorite Madonna song is “Borderline”. Once she got into her ‘Papa Don’t Preach’ phase, I don’t know, I tuned out.

  26. 26.

    Jewish Steel

    @Ailuridae

    Me too!

    Didn’t the Twins end up winning 96? I heard Steve Stone say that they had the best record since the all-star break. That’s a damn good team.

    I have forgiven them for not giving an inch on the Sox 8-0 stretch near the end there…mostly forgiven them.

  27. 27.

    Ash Can

    Discuss the significance of the second no-hitter in major league baseball post-season history.

    Can’t discuss. There are no words.

    /HUGE no-hitter fan

  28. 28.

    El Cid

    Guilty pleasure: The Pickin’ On series of bluegrass versions of rock, country, metal, even hip hop songs. “I Love Rock & Roll” is absurdly suited to bluegrass.

  29. 29.

    andrea

    I still blame Bug Selig for George W. Bush, because Bushie was considered for the job before running for TX governor, and Selig wanted to keep the commish gig for himself.

  30. 30.

    Chris

    All this baseball talk reminds me that I’m from Pittsburgh and I guess that makes me a Pirates fan…

    …mega sigh…

    Go Steelers?

  31. 31.

    Nylund

    My problem with the DH is not so much with the fact that the pitcher never hits (he should). Its the fact that there is a player on a baseball team that doesn’t ever catch or throw a ball. How can you be a baseball player if you never catch or throw a ball?

  32. 32.

    hitchhiker

    Despise the Yankees, especially Alex Rodriguez, who was apparently unable to tell that he was taking steroids, who once played for my home team (the hapless Mariners) until he left for Texas, who said at the time that it was only about winning, not about the money, and who got pelted with $1 bills for the next couple of seasons he showed his money-hungry, steroid-enhanced face in Seattle.

    That is all.

    Come on, Twins! The nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

  34. 34.

    fucen tarmal

    tomorrow night, the open the consol energy center for its first regular season penguin game…not to sound corny, but through the slots license, and the negotiations that followed for the tax money to build it, the team threatening to leave if the state didn’t pony up the money from slots taxes to build it, when they could have had it done for free.

    i never thought this day would arrive…

    they are looking for a nickname for the consol energy center, my suggestion, considering the struggle they made of building it, and consol’s business….the fracking solution.

  35. 35.

    bozack

    Hatred of the wild card strikes me as unreasonable. In 1960, each league had 8 teams. In 1969, the debut of divisions and the LCSs, each league had 12 teams. Today, the NL has 16 teams and the AL has 14. Expanding the playoffs made sense. Otherwise, you’d routinely be shutting 95-win teams like this year’s Yankees out of the playoffs.

    Also, I hate the Yankees. They outspend the #2 team by almost 30%. Take the Red Sox (the #2 team), and add the entire Padres payroll, and you still haven’t equaled the Yanks’ payroll. Yes, of course, money alone can’t buy championships. But it can reliably give you a 1/4 or 1/5 shot every year.

  36. 36.

    Martin

    @Nylund:

    How can you be a baseball player if you never catch or throw a ball?

    The same way you can be a vice-presidential candidate and never read a book.

    American Exceptionalism, bitchez!

    And FTFY!

  37. 37.

    Ash Can

    Fuck the DH rule. Especially for the minor leagues. There is no reason in fucking hell for minor league pitchers not to learn how to lay down a bunt, or otherwise bat strategically. And there’s no reason in fucking hell for the parent clubs to learn their pitchers’ strengths and weaknesses at the plate before they get called up.

  38. 38.

    Steeplejack

    @El Cid:

    Great moment in bluegrass: I was at a festival in Atlanta about 10-15 years ago, listening to a really good group. The leader said the next song they were going to do was a timeless classic, the band just hoped they could do it justice, etc., etc. And then they launched into a hilarious but flawless bluegrass rendition of “I Shot the Sheriff.” Good times.

  40. 40.

    tim serbo

    @Steeplejack: “Live to Tell” slays the competition. the fabulous Bill Frisell covers it wonderfully, but the original is just a ridiculously great pop song, still sounds like nothing else on the radio (one mark of a ridiculously great pop song). probably by accident (not a big fan of Our Madge).

  41. 41.

    something fabulous

    @Steeplejack: I am somehow always bad at linking from you tube, but I believe what you are thinking of is “Crazy for You.” I too thought it was bee-youtiful and romantical, at the time. Ahh, Matthew Modine. Whatever happened to him?

  43. 43.

    Steeplejack

    @something fabulous:

    I know “Crazy for You” was in Vision Quest, but I have a specific–and apparently false–memory of a driving, upbeat song in there as well. Thought it was “Into the Groove,” but apparently not.

    As I told tim serbo, I have an issue with Madonna’s ballad-y, “serious” stuff, because I never quite believe it. It’s like Charlie Brown and the football.

  45. 45.

    El Cid

    @Steeplejack: Not to mention how so many Appalachian / bluegrass songs necessarily involve death, pain, loss. I once lived near an old woman who grew up in the mountains of Appalachia who had something like 10 brothers and sisters, and I think 7 of them died growing up. Songs of violence, of shootouts, etc., aren’t exactly rare.

  46. 46.

    geg6

    Gawd, wild cards and DHs and perfect games? Is there anything more exciting than baseball?

    Any channels showing paint drying? Perhaps real time views of the formation of sedentary rocks? Golf?

  47. 47.

    Ash Can

    @bozack: I’m a fascist reactionary when it comes to baseball — as in, don’t you dare change one damned thing about it — but the wild card has grown on me, as has (limited) inter-league play. In the case of the wild card, I see it as the optimal solution to the expansion of the leagues — if there are three divisions, we all lose out if the strongest second-place team (which often has a record that’s at least on par with those of the division champions) doesn’t get to round out the field. As for inter-league play, what a great opportunity to see the stars of the other league in your ballpark, and what a great excuse to make road trips to places you’d never otherwise visit, to see your team play.

  48. 48.

    themann1086

    I love my Phillies, and I love Doc Halladay. FTFY indeed, and can I add a FU to TBS? Their coverage is abysmal! They were going on and on about Citizens Bank Park being a huge hitters’ park, even though, uh, it’s not.

    2 signs/tshirts I saw: “Double Roybow” and “Red Doc-tober” :D

  49. 49.

    tim serbo

    @Steeplejack: i know what you mean about Madonna’s essential Lucy-ness when it comes to telling us what’s really churning in her dark dark heart. which is probably why i like Live to Tell. as i recall, she and sean penn were very publicly fightin’ and shaggin’ up a storm when the record was released, and it seemed for once the anguish she was enacting was authentic.

    Bill Frisell is the nazz.

  50. 50.

    MattR

    @themann1086: The only thing that is kinda cool is the pitch track that shows the path of the ball relative to the plate as it passes thru the batter’s box area. Should be especially cool when Mariano is in the game. (EDIT: Which I now notice they are not currently showing any more)

  51. 51.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN)

    @Steeplejack: Yeah, but the video has Christopher Walken, so be careful. If you criticize it too loudly, he’ll reach through the internet and gouge your eyes out.

  52. 52.

    tim serbo

    and may i say, as a red sox fan since 1967, go Twins! as much as i love living in new york…

  53. 53.

    Steeplejack

    @El Cid:

    Hmm, that could work. Although I heard the original so many times when it was originally on the air that I almost break out in a rash when I hear it now. Only song that affects me worse like that is Rod Stewart’s “Maggie Mae.” It followed me everywhere my last year in college. And I did not like that song.

    But your original point is good: some of those “Picking On” albums are very excellent.

    In a different genre, I like The Tide Is High–reggae do-overs of rock songs. Check out Sugar Black’s take on “Fly Like an Eagle.”

  56. 56.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN)

    @geg6:

    Is there anything more exciting than baseball?

    Not really. The second Australia at India test starts Saturday (Friday in the States). South Africa at Pakistan is tomorrow, but it’s Twenty/20, which is an abomination. New Zealand at Bangladesh may be more competitive than I was expecting, but I’m not holding my breath.

  60. 60.

    apistat

    Who in their right mind can be against the wild card in a 30 team league? Any system that can result in a team winning 103 games and not going to the playoffs is evil and should be abolished by force.

    /still bitter Giants fan

  61. 61.

    Ash Can

    @themann1086: But this metric is colored by the batting prowess of the respective home teams. Citizens still has a short porch in left, and it’s going to make the right-handed power hitters salivate as sure as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. That in and of itself is going to influence the offensive stats, although to what extent we may never know.

  62. 62.

    New Yorker

    Discuss the significance of the second no-hitter in major league baseball post-season history.

    It just reminds me how much baby Jesus hates me for making me a Mets fan.

    Mind you, I’m one of those who thinks the wild card makes us weak as a nation and as a people.

    Because the division-winning 2005 Padres were a better team than the wild card-winning 2002 Angels or 2004 Red Sox? I say abolish the divisions and just take the top 4 records in each league into the playoffs.

  63. 63.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN)

    @MikeJ: ODIs are watchable. Interesting, even. They still have some strategy in them, as opposed to Twenty20. Test is the best, though.

    I think I need to reup my Cricket Ticket package before the Ashes.

  65. 65.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN)

    @apistat: If you want to claim that you’re the best team in baseball, win your division. If you can’t do that, you have no claim.

  67. 67.

    DougJ is the business and economics editor for Balloon Juice.

    @apistat:

    I lived in Berkeley for that. Great, great pennant race. And now it would mean nothing cos they both get in as wild cards.

  69. 69.

    Yutsano

    @MikeJ:

    I know one of asiangrrrl’s (fake)hubbies is down there, but I don’t know if he cares about cricket.

    I think he pays vague attention to the sport, but that’s about it. Being an attorney in Australia pretty much means the same up here, you usually have to bullshit your way through just about any subject regardless of personal interest if the client is a big supporter.

  71. 71.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN)

    FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY. FTFY.

  74. 74.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN)

    @MikeJ: If the Red Sox want to play each other 162 times a year and declare the winner THE BEST TEAM EVAH, have at it. If you want to take the Mets and the Phillies with you, I won’t argue. Knock yourselves out.

  77. 77.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN)

    @MikeJ: I wouldn’t sleep on the Rangers if I were you. Then again, I like the Rays. I like a manager who can look through all the data and realize that James Shields is a very good pitcher despite the ugly ERA.

  80. 80.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN)

    @MikeJ: I agree for formal titles, but I’ve always referred to them as the Rays when I want to use a shorthand.

  82. 82.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN)

    @MikeJ: What are the Rays going to do as players get expensive? Crawford’s not such a big deal with Desmond Jennings coming up. They’re just oozing minor league pitching, so the rotation getting expensive shouldn’t be too much of a problem. (Hellickson and McGee are pretty much ready; Alex Colome, Alex Torres, Matt Moore, Nick Barnese, Wilking Rodriguez, and Aneurys Rodriguez is a ridiculous wealth of A ball pitching talent, rivaled only by the Braves and maybe the Royals.)

  83. 83.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN)

    @Yutsano: Just as it will always be That Horrible Hellhole on Fourth Street. Fuck Blow up Mall of America field as soon as possible. If that’s before the Vikings have a new stadium built, so much the better.

  86. 86.

    DougJ is the business and economics editor for Balloon Juice.

    @TooManyJens:

    I may do a thread on reggae covers soon. I thought no one would be interested.

  87. 87.

    Cacti

    I wasn’t expecting a no-hitter, but I’d be surprised if anyone but Philly takes the NL Pennant.

  90. 90.

    TooManyJens

    @Steeplejack: OK, this is the first and probably only time that I will approvingly quote a YouTube comment, but this cracked me up:

    This is Taylor Swift After the Vmas LMAO

    And on that note, I am heading to bed. Good night!

  94. 94.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN)

    Too many threads. I’m not sure which one is live.

    Am I the only one wondering if asiangrrlMN is too blotto to comment?

  95. 95.

    Steeplejack

    @That’s Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN):

    Yeah, I was wondering the same thing. She usually gives me a shout-out, and I don’t think I have done anything lately to warrant the silent treatment. She must be, er, indisposed. Or maybe just asleep. I think her circadian rhythms have been disrupted lately.

    ETA: Just checked your links. That is a terrible double whammy for anyone to absorb.

  96. 96.

    Jewish Steel

    The superb “Enter the Magical Mystery Chamber.” Wu-Tang/Beatles mash-up album contains many reggae Beatles covers.

  97. 97.

    Yutsano

    @Steeplejack: She may be napping. Or pouting. She’s had rougher sports nights before. Like every time the Old Man gets in his walker and puts on the purple and horns.

  98. 98.

    Steeplejack

    @Yutsano:

    Like every time the Old Man gets in his walker and puts on the purple and horns.

    Win.

    Guess I’m out. I have exposed my geekosity on multiple levels tonight.

    Still chuckling about Nina Gordon, though. I hadn’t listened to that in a long time.

  100. 100.

    kd bart

    As a Met fan, I’m already resigned to the fact that it’s going to be another Phils/Yanks World Series that I’ll have to suffer through. Here’s hoping for a Giant/Rangers World Series in which I don’t care who wins.

  102. 102.

    JR

    While I am a huge baseball fan, even I admit that there is only one true sport — test cricket. I can hardly wait to watch the English team smash the Aussies.

    My love for it knows no bounds — which surprises many of my fellow 50-something native West Texans …

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