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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Home, Crap Home

Home, Crap Home

by John Cole|  October 9, 20103:20 am| 28 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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Made it back in one piece. The whole crew ended up going to this seedy gay bar, and drinking the hell out of their Heineken stash. Stopped at some dive diner which had a “No Profanity” sign up and offenders had to hit the tip jar, and after 6 hours of liquor, I was pretty much screwed. If they were true to their signs, I would have had to pony up about 50 bucks.

I’m home, the girls have been walked, Tunch is asleep, and I leave you with this:

Won’t be back for a half dozen hours.

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Reader Interactions

28Comments

  1. 1.

    Yutsano

    October 9, 2010 at 3:28 am

    Submitted, with no apologies.

  2. 2.

    Mark S.

    October 9, 2010 at 3:28 am

    You lived in some town of 300 people and you have seedy gay bars to go to?

  3. 3.

    John Cole

    October 9, 2010 at 3:30 am

    @Mark S.: No. We had to drive to reach this shithole.

  4. 4.

    p mac

    October 9, 2010 at 3:31 am

    Great music, but man, except for Daltrey himself, those guys were just sooo seventies. That is some srsly big hair. Not to mention lapels.

    Skoal on your quality pub crawl.

  5. 5.

    asiangrrlMN

    October 9, 2010 at 5:37 am

    @Yutsano: I see where your mind is at–not that there’s anything wrong with that! And, um, yeah.

    And, since last thread is full, I give you this song. Emo grrl is oh-so-very emo.

  6. 6.

    asiangrrlMN

    October 9, 2010 at 5:43 am

    Uncensored, acoustic version of same song.

  7. 7.

    Jason

    October 9, 2010 at 6:32 am

    Getting hammered and then going queerslumming? How, well, Republican frat-boy of you.

    Hey John, I still think you’re the best blogger on the interwebs. But seriously, dude….

  8. 8.

    Noodlearmed UDFA previously 2liberal

    October 9, 2010 at 6:38 am

    *aaack* I am in moderation – due to a name change I guess.

    I will try again:

    to P MAC

    eminence front was released in 1982. Long hair is the seventies. Big hair is the eighties. I don’t know about lapels however.

  9. 9.

    spudvol

    October 9, 2010 at 6:48 am

    Good work Cole, at least you have finally gotten one combat boot out of the closet. Next stop? Guest-posting at AmericaBlog.

    Just kidding…about the AmericaBlog thingy.

  10. 10.

    Linda Featheringill

    October 9, 2010 at 7:59 am

    @Yutsano:

    Well. Good Golly Miss Molly. I realize that I was not the target of that video but it is quite a video nonetheless.

    It is good to see folks having fun.

    And you, too, John.

  11. 11.

    numbskull

    October 9, 2010 at 8:37 am

    Was Daltry actually playing rhythm? Didn’t know he played anything.

  12. 12.

    JPL

    October 9, 2010 at 8:37 am

    I agree with Jason @ 7. It doesn’t sound like a cool evening.

  13. 13.

    Noodlearmed UDFA previously 2liberal

    October 9, 2010 at 10:07 am

    @numbskull:
    he will occasionally play guitar or play the harmonica to give him something to do when he isn’t singing.

  14. 14.

    Alice Blue

    October 9, 2010 at 10:16 am

    Glad you made it back in one piece, John. I was starting to worry.

    @Noodlearmed UDFA Previously 2Liberal: I remember some pretty wide “747” lapels back in the 70’s.

  15. 15.

    joe from Lowell

    October 9, 2010 at 10:30 am

    I’m thinking that “Andrew Cuomo’s prowess is legendary” needs to go into the slogan rotation.

  16. 16.

    gbear

    October 9, 2010 at 10:52 am

    @numbskull:

    Daltry was the lead guitarist in The Detours at the time that Townsend joined the band.

  17. 17.

    RedKitten

    October 9, 2010 at 10:59 am

    @Jason:

    Getting hammered and then going queerslumming? How, well, Republican frat-boy of you.

    Probably depends on where you go. My girlfriends and I used to get hammered and go dancing at this awesome gay nightclub. Best music in town, and you didn’t have to worry about some cretin coming up behind you and trying to grind against your ass while you danced. (Why DO guys do that, anyway?)

  18. 18.

    gbear

    October 9, 2010 at 11:02 am

    here’s a song dedicated to John’s hangover.

  19. 19.

    Svensker

    October 9, 2010 at 11:09 am

    @RedKitten:

    you didn’t have to worry about some cretin coming up behind you and trying to grind against your ass while you danced. (Why DO guys do that, anyway?)

    Because it feels good?

  20. 20.

    Mnemosyne

    October 9, 2010 at 11:19 am

    @Svensker:

    Because it feels good?

    So does masturbation, but you’re still not supposed to whip it out in public.

  21. 21.

    Svensker

    October 9, 2010 at 11:32 am

    @Mnemosyne:

    Well, yeah, but the guy who’s grinding isn’t whipping it out, he’s getting some strokes for free. And he figures the worst that can happen is the grindee will yell at him. At best, he might get laid, and in the middle he’ll get his dick rubbed for a bit.

    I’m not defending it, just saying I think that’s why some guys do it. Not to mention that the grinders usually seem to be the kind of guys who can’t get anyone to rub their dicks voluntarily. And contra Ms. O’Donnell, I don’t think rubbing it yourself is as fun as having someone else do it.

    Edited to add: I’m speaking as a female observer here. Perhaps an actual guy could weigh in.

  22. 22.

    RedKitten

    October 9, 2010 at 11:55 am

    And he figures the worst that can happen is the grindee will yell at him. At best, he might get laid, and in the middle he’ll get his dick rubbed for a bit.

    Or, he could get punched in the forehead. I was out at a club with three of my girlfriends a few years ago, and these young farts were trying to pull that shit with us. For the most part, we were doing well fending them off, but then one decided to ante up, and reached around my hips and grabbed me, two-handed, in the crotch. I was shocked into paralysis, but snapped out of it as my friend (who was facing me) shot her arm over my shoulder and punched the guy right in the forehead.

    I mean, did he honestly think that was going to end well for him?

  23. 23.

    asiangrrlMN

    October 9, 2010 at 12:42 pm

    @RedKitten: It’s aggression, and it’s control. It’s a way to say, “Hey, I can do this to you publicly. What are you gonna do about it?” Most women are too well-bred to do anything until it reaches the point it did with you. Kudos to your girlfriend for punching that guy in the forehead.

    P.S. It’s the same reason guys made crude suggestions to women on the streets, btw. I highly doubt any of them actually think they are gonna get laid.

  24. 24.

    divF

    October 9, 2010 at 1:17 pm

    A great family story along these lines. My sister-in-law and her husband were out for a night on the town, and some guy grabbed her ass in a bar. The first time, she shrugged it off, but then he did it again. She turned around, grabbed him by the shirt with both hands, threw him on the floor, standing over him with one fist raised. He cringed, shot a glance at her husband, who shrugged as if to say, “you’re on your own, buddy”. Ultimately, he was allowed to escape undamaged. The good part, though, was that the following Monday he was describing this in a somewhat aggrieved tone to one of his co-workers in an elevator. After he finished the story, my mother-in-law, who was in the elevator, turned to him and said in freezing tones, “that was *my daughter*”, and stepped out of the elevator.

  25. 25.

    Svensker

    October 9, 2010 at 1:31 pm

    @divF:

    Great story. Heh.

  26. 26.

    The Tim Channel

    October 9, 2010 at 1:37 pm

    Coolest Heineken beer machine evah….

    Establishment has an entire cold room built around an in-wall Heineken beer machine (Heineken ONLY).

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/timtimes/5064469670/

    Close-up of machine:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/timtimes/5063857245/

    The establishment (Elements Cafe – Germany) not only has a replica helicopter and jeep on their roof, but an actual fighter jet hanging from the roof of their parking garage, as well as this submarine which is built to appear as if it is has crashed through to the outside of the building:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/timtimes/5063858445/

    Enjoy.

  27. 27.

    Ruckus

    October 9, 2010 at 2:10 pm

    @Svensker:
    Guy weighing in here.
    I don’t get it either. I do think these guys think they are going to get laid. He’s the same guy who just asks straight out “Wanna fuck?”, no small talk, no personality. It is a power play. Pretty sure it works less often than being an actual human but if he doesn’t know how to do that what’s his choice? And if he doesn’t know how to be a regular human he probably doesn’t expect a woman to be one either.

  28. 28.

    Svensker

    October 9, 2010 at 3:27 pm

    @Ruckus:

    And if he doesn’t know how to be a regular human he probably doesn’t expect a woman to be one either.

    Bingo.

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