Situations like this are why New Hampsters get so little respect from their Masshole neighbors…
An Epsom couple says state social workers seized their newborn baby hours after her birth because of the father’s affiliation with an organization that opposes government tyranny. State officials, however, cited domestic violence and child abuse allegations against the baby’s father in taking her into state custody.
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The issue turned the parents, Johnathan Irish and Stephanie Taylor, into instant celebrities in the online libertarian community. By mid afternoon, about 20 people who had never met the couple gathered at Concord Hospital to protest what they termed the state’s unconstitutional interference in a family matter. None claimed to know anything about government’s allegations that Irish had beaten his fiancee or her young children, but they said they were outraged that the affidavit supporting the taking of his newborn mentioned Irish’s association with a group called the Oath Keepers…
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But according to an affidavit provided to Irish by the state Division for Children, Youth and Families, state officials took the child because of Irish’s long record of violence and abuse. According to the affidavit, a judge determined that Irish abused Taylor’s two other children. She is still married to the father of those children, though Taylor said yesterday that her husband has refused to accept her divorce petition for the past two years.
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The affidavit also says that the police in Rochester report a “lengthy history of domestic violence” between Taylor and Irish, and that she accused him of choking and hitting her on more than one occasion. According to the document, Irish failed to complete a domestic violence course as ordered by the state, and a hearing was held last month to terminate Taylor’s parental rights over her two older children….
Of course, consenting adults have the right to hang around with Libertarians, if that’s their kink, but is there any reason to expose innocent children to that kind of alternative lifestyle?…
Okay, seriously: it’s a tragic situation, and shame on the misguided individuals using it for cheap political points. Like the “sad crackpots” Tom Scocca at Slate nominates for “… the Dumbest Libertarian Quote Ever“:
The most amazing voice from the anti-tyranny forces, though, belonged to a woman named Amanda Biondolillo, from Concord:
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“The family should be left to resolve it on their own,” Biondolillo said. “Or private enterprise – private companies can contact the family and say, ‘We heard you were hitting your kids. Can you stop that?’ “
__
Is Amanda Biondolillo a prankster who shows up at protests to say things to make libertarians look like morons? Her online presence looks sincere. But: really? Private enterprise! The solution to domestic violence is for there to be private companies that will go around telling people to please stop hitting their kids. Oh, the parents will say, we hadn’t thought of that. We will stop hitting the children now.
__
OK, private enterprise is superior to government at every conceivable task. Extreme version of a very common belief. But it’s pretty remarkable to see it coming from someone who has no idea how private enterprise works. Set aside the question of how effective this imaginary private company is going to be at ending child abuse. What’s the business model here? Where does the revenue come from? Are the employees of Please Don’t Hit Your Child, Inc. going to collect tips from their grateful customers? Are they going to sell ad space on the trucks they go visiting in?
Barb (formerly gex)
Well, I didn’t think it was novel when Paul argued that government shouldn’t get involved in segregation. Nor when I still see libertarians have issues with women’s suffrage or the ERA.
But I am a bit surprised that libertarianism doesn’t want the government to get involved in child abuse. I’m not quite sure how the free market will deal with that, but I’m sure they think there’s a way. How on earth does she think that the private enterprise will know they beat their kids? Will AT&T spy on us and report to them?
soonergrunt
Oath Keepers–membership might not be a reason for Child Protective Services to seize the kids, but it damn sure ought to be reason enough for a visit from the state bureau of investigation. Those are some creepy, fucked up individuals.
Private enterprise to stop people from beating their kids? Are you fucking kidding me? The only way private enterprise stops someone from committing violence is when the victim pays someone bigger or better armed to stop their tormentor. That’s the only way that works.
MikeJ
I wonder what Fonzie thinks of this? Where’s Radley Balko?
If this weren’t an open thread, this would be OT, but does laughing at Johnny Knoxville singing “You can’t rollerskate in a buffalo herd” and then getting trampled by buffaloes make me a bad person?
Walker
So after this incident, can we call Reason the “pro-child abuse publication Reason“?
gbear
Live, Freeze and Die.
Left Coast Tom
@soonergrunt: But the children can use their allowance money to pay this private company!
I gave up treating “libertarians” as anything but “republicans who don’t like the name” when they (the former, to whatever extent it matters) decided they didn’t like Roe v. Wade. Which I think was more than 10 years ago.
Mark S.
@MikeJ:
I’m guessing Radley Balko thinks this is an intriguing idea. I’m just mentioning Radley Balko because he must google his name 500 times a day since he shows up whenever he gets mentioned here.
Also, too, Radley Balko.
kdaug
Hmmm. Having a tough time coming up with the proper profit incentive here. Sure, we could take the kid’s allowance for protection against their parents, but what if the parents stop paying the allowance to the kid?
Maybe a law enforcing that parents pay enough of an allowance to their kids that they can pass through to us to cover our “expenses”?
OK, starting to see how this could work…
beltane
Do these teabaggers really want to sacrifice the life of an innocent newborn baby on the altar of Freedumb?
Maybe this is the real reason right-wingers are in favor of forced-childbirth; it has the advantage of producing tiny victims for their Ayn Rand death-cult. What these people really remind me of more than anything are the creepy, ghoulish characters from a Neil Gaiman book. The shrill, shrieking, seediness and “ick” factor are all there in abundance.
suzanne
Are you SURE we can’t just give these assholes, say, Texas and Utah and Mississippi and let them run their little experimental country for, like, 20 years, and LAUGH LIKE FUCK when they come back asking for help? Are you SURE? ‘Cause that would be some funny shit.
As of yesterday, I am 29 weeks. I woke up this morning feeling all dizzy and lightheaded, so I called my doctor, who called me back and proceeded to lecture me about how I essentially need to eat and drink ***constantly***. I already pee four times a night, for fuck’s sake. And I’ve been sleeping 8-9 hours a night, and I still need a fuckin’ nap every day. FUCK. If I have to spend the next eleven weeks like this, I just may kill a man. FUCK.
kommrade reproductive vigor
I love you.
MikeJ
@Mark S.: That was the main Reason(tm) I used his full name.
I’m just waiting for his defense of the Ayn Rand School for Tots.
suzanne
Oh, and my doctor now wants me to have blood vessels inside my nose cauterized. Took him FOUR MONTHS of daily nosebleeds to suggest that shit.
Did I mention FUCK?!
Barb (formerly gex)
@beltane: There is nothing about this comment that I do not like.
Roger Moore
Why do I suspect that one piece of tyranny they’re worried about is the Government interfering with a man’s God given right to run his family as he sees fit? I mean, if a man wants to
punishdiscipline his wife or children with a littlebeatingcorporal punishment, that’s a purely private matter, isn’t it?fasteddie9318
That private enterprise line is quite possibly the dumbest thing ever written in the online libertarian community, which perforce would make it the dumbest thing ever written online, which then means dumbest thing ever written period. There’s just no way any creature with even a minimally functioning cerebral cortex could conceive of anything that stupid.
gbear
Sounds like the kind of job that only an illegal alien would want.
MikeJ
@gbear: Of course you need illegal aliens to do it. If we could only get rid of the minimum wage Americans would be poor enough to debase themselves in any manner called for by their betters.
arguingwithsignposts
Join the movement against Christine O’Donnell’s anti-masturbation stance. Fight the power (blogwhoring)
gbear
@suzanne:
You should have thought of that before you got pregnant.
/Ken Buck
scav
well, if they’re true libertarian tots, they’re presumably out pulling their own weight on the job market and maybe those are the companies that will show up and tell Dad to stop roughing up the employees.
wenchacha
Sometimes we parents need to enforce the rules and maintain order and safety within the home/compound. Why is it anyone’s business when we employ Tasers or truncheons on family members who step out of line?
Forget Oath Keepers. I support Rule Enforcers!
kommrade reproductive vigor
Amanda Biondolillo = I’ll moo banana dildo.
Just sayin’.
mr. whipple
I’m pretty sure that’s what got you into this mess.
Anya
@suzanne:
You can add Alabama to the crazy United States of Texas.
DaddyJ
@kdaug: I’ve got it: cap and trade! You buy credits in order to be able to beat your children. People who don’t want to beat their children sell child-beating credits. Everybody wins! Well, almost everybody.
dirge
Easy: you just pass a few laws saying that you can presume that minors consent to any contract that’s obviously in their benefit, then the “private company” (aka government fiat monopoly) can render services like asking your parents not to beat you in exchange for a “lien against future earnings” (aka indentured servitude).
We could run the education and health-care systems the same way.
As long as there’s “competition” (aka cartel collusion) we can be sure the kids are getting a great deal!
Barb (formerly gex)
@scav: There you go. The return of child labor is the libertarian solution to the problem of funding the don’t hit your kids bidness.
mr. whipple
@DaddyJ:
Beating vouchers.
hilzoy
The private enterprise quote is the best. But there are some other amazing ones:
Who are these people? Seriously: the idea that Nazis are stealing children in airports (why airports?) is right up there with the idea that there’s an international conspiracy of dentists plotting to
sap our precious bodily fluidsimplant tiny radio receivers in our teeth.JasonF
Laugh all you want, but once Hasbro and Chuck E. Cheese realize a potential customer is in danger, they’ll have every incentive to enter into a mutually beneficial transaction with the father to stop the abuse. Markets uber alles!
Mike in NC
@gbear:
Yeah, no shit. My parents retired and moved from Boston to Nashua about 15 years ago in the hope of paying lower taxes, but found out that it also meant about zero social services.
They’re dead now and had to return to Massachusetts just to get a decent burial. Fuck NH.
hamletta
@kdaug: Oh! I know how this works!
If Johnny pays, but his neighbor Timmy doesn’t, the nice private child abuse protector people pay him a visit: “Nice Legos ya got there, kid. It’d be a shame if something were to…happen to them.”
And when Susie wakes up in the morning, she finds little Fido’s severed head in her bed.
Private enterprise is awesome!
gbear
@scav: True libertarian tots would just exercise their free right to go find new parents that would treat them better.
What child hasn’t wished that a millionaire would come adopt them?
Anya
Speaking of dumb people, did anyone watch Chris Coon’s debate with Christine O’Donnell? I didn’t think it was possible to find someone who more ill-informed than Palin running for high office.
dirge
Hmm. That might just work. Maybe if we added a new Social Security benefit? A quarter-million dollar legal defense fund for every new born child?
I’ll bet we can get the trial attorneys behind it.
suzanne
@mr. whipple:
Shit, you’re right. And that’s the really fun part. Sigh.
catclub
@suzanne:
I assume your doctor is watching your blood pressure, but dizzy spells and nosebleeds don’t sound very good.
Good luck and take care.
Barb (formerly gex)
@Anya: The right wing is always improving and evolving that way. Or devolving, maybe.
Roger Moore
@hilzoy:
That’s the one bit I agree with. They’re called TSA, and their main functions seem to be terrorizing people and getting them used to complying with bizarre, arbitrary rules. They allegedly make flying safer, but I’ve seen no concrete evidence of that.
kdaug
@DaddyJ: You’re on to something, but we need a way to outsource the labor (you think I’m paying fucking union wages for a kid-beater? Hellz no.)
@hamletta: Obviously, if they don’t have our “protection”, they can’t expect our service.
But what we really need is a way to divide up the anti-beating policies that we sell to the kids into exchangeable derivatives. In other words, I don’t have a policy out on Johnny’s specific body, but I have a 1% share in Johnny’s body, as well as multiple shares in other kid’s bodies – that way, if Johnny gets his ass whooped, I only have to pay out a fraction of what it would have cost me if I were the prime insurer.
That’s about right, isn’t it?
JasonF
Another great quote from the article:
Down with government!
scav
@dirge:
Commie. Kids gotta get out there and earn the money to competitively bid for the services of the non-beating (formerly called world-beating) parents.
suzanne
@catclub: Thank you, yes, my blood pressure is fine (doc checked yesterday), and the nosebleeds are due to extreme desert dryness and a change of medication exacerbating my chronic sinus difficulties.
I really just need to bitch, ’cause I hate being pregnant. Like, a lot.
soonergrunt
@mr. whipple: WIN
Sly
A market-based solution is easy.
Step 1: Parent A beats their child.
Step 2: Parent B takes the child and leaves Parent A.
Step 3: Parent A no longer has access to beatable children and is prevented from creating new ones.†
†Unless (1) Parent A finds a new spouse and has children with them without disclosing to said spouse that Parent A has a history of child abuse, (2) Parent A adopts without disclosing to the adoption agency that Parent A has a history of child abuse, (3) Parent A has beaten Parent B into such submission that they dare not divorce Parent A, (4) Parent A kidnaps the child and continues beating it, or (5) Parent A resorts to beating other people’s children.
Problem solved. The right to freely contract without interference by the government is preserved, and its done with a minimum of fine print.
PhoenixRising
@suzanne:
Um, no. No, we can’t. Because the 29 week feti kicking the crap out of their mamas’ guts in TX are just as innocently deserving of indoor plumbing as yours is. We’re the good guys, they’re the collective-punishment nuts. Libertarians stink because they just don’t care about the effects their ideas would have on the vulnerable.
soonergrunt
@JasonF: What service is this asshole supposed to be part of if he had blindness secondary to childhood illness? He couldn’t have gotten in the military without committing fraud. Local police, but what kind of half-assed police/fire department would have a guy who can’t see?
Oath Keepers–bunch of half-assed stooper-troopies.
russell
No, Amanda Biondolillo is someone who moved to NH as part of an organized effort to take over its government and establish it as a model libertarian paradise.
I shit you not.
The key phrase here is “Free State Project”. Check it out for yourself.
Roger Moore
@Sly:
I’m not seeing the profit motive anywhere in your proposed solution. It seems to me that value of the child is higher to Parent A, who gets a beating subject, than to Parent B, for whom the child is just a useless mouth to feed.
russell
And she moved there from freaking Texas, because the politics there were too freaking liberal for her taste.
I’ll take a nanny state any day if it will keep people like this the hell away from me.
suzanne
@PhoenixRising:
You’re right, you’re right. Blah. Damn that moral compass. It’s a pain in the ass sometimes.
Though I have this fantasy of Sarah Palin selling her kidneys on the black market that, I’ll admit, moistens my panties just a little.
Morbo
Woooow, Wonkette made fun of the responses to this, including Reason’s, but that quote is just so golden it’s got to be worth something.
Dennis SGMM
@PhoenixRising:
You make a good point. On the other hand, if we could persuade them through indirection to gather in one place to plan their Randian Supermen takeover and then release the hidden hordes of shit-eating pigs…
soonergrunt
@suzanne:
Quoth the pregnant lady:
TMI! TM-fucking-I!
suzanne
@soonergrunt:
Oh, come on. John mops naked and shares all the details, for God’s sake, and *I* get called out for TMI?! LMMFAO.
El Cid
This is not made up. This is a thing in the world.
There can be only one response to thwart Obama’s Shari’aization of orbit: Pigs In Space.
Hal
Someone, please; a rational explanation why this whore (I’m thinking of you, Tom Brokaw), is even remotely considered a viable candidate:
NANCY KARIBJANIAN: What opinions, of late, that have come from our high court, do you most object to?
O’DONNELL: Oh, gosh. Um, give me a specific one. I’m sorry.
KARIBJANIAN: Actually, I can’t, because I need you to tell me which ones you object to.
O’DONNELL: Um, I’m very sorry, right off the top of my head, I know that there are a lot, but I’ll put it up on my website, I promise you.
WOLF BLITZER: We know that you disagree with Roe v. Wade.
O’DONNELL: Yeah, but she said a recent one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1cs-LBpOX0
daveNYC
You see, if the private corp sees someone beating their kid, they take away the child and sell it to the highest bidder. The company makes money, the child gets a new home, and someone who really wants a child gets one.
There’s absolutely no way anything could go wrong with that. No way at all.
El Cid
@Hal: “Actually, I can’t, because I need you to tell me which ones you object to.”
If Sarah Palin had had the extra-loony-sharpness power of O’Donnell, when Katie Couric got her with the gotcha question of ‘which newspapers do you read,’ instead of saying the Palin ‘Some of them! All of them!’, O’Donnell could have sweetly asked, ‘Hee hee, give me a specific one, ha ha, I’m sorry.’
General Stuck
I have been reading the unbelievable piling of Obama and Gibbs from the left blogs concerning the CofC, or many of them, and it is mind blowing the contempt and outright opposition to the Obama administration using “holding feets to fire” rationalization of dems on dems. At the same time, also too reading the complete insanity of the tea tard wingnuts as in this post and others, and weighing the prim and proper, pit nicking of obama slamming the Chamber of Commerce, with the very real possibility these lizard brain wingnuts will win in a little over two weeks. And maybe take over congress. Only one conclusion, these so called progressives are indeed pond scum hell bent on helping any sneaky way they can, the republican party win an election. And in some cases barely contained glee at the prospect. Pure unadulterated vichy pond scum they are. No conciliation. enemies.
General Stuck
@Anya: I think she called Coons a Marxist, wow, great debating point.
Roger Moore
@El Cid:
How does The Onion remain in business with these jokers around? It’s as though the whole right-wing commentariat is in a contest to see who can get the most ridiculous thing published. But the more they publish this crap, the more willing the media is to accept something even worse. They’re moving the Overton Window of Stupid.
BDeevDad
Since it’s an open thread…
This video is just amazing.Fort Worth City Councilman Joel Burns reaches out to GLBT teens with a personal story and a message of hope
Barb (formerly gex)
@Sly: I’m not sure how this fits in with libertarians’ tendencies to side with Republicans and their concern for protecting marriages. I’m pretty sure protecting marriages is way more important that protecting children from beatings.
Mark S.
@Morbo:
Wow, Reason has been covering this in an objective, dispassionate manner, entitled Baby Snatching: It’s Hilarious When We Don’t Like Their Kind:
Look, I realize there have been people who have been completely fucked over by CPS and that taking away a child should never be done lightly. I also realize that there have been children who have been horribly abused and/or murdered.
I’m not making any judgment on this particular case, though I highly doubt this guy is being picked on because he’s an Oath Keeper. Doherty (the douchebag who wrote the Reason piece) doesn’t know either, but refers to it as a Kidnapping, snatch, stolen, etc.
And fuck Radley Balko.
Yutsano
Yeah…my mom just cleaned my house without saying a word. I gots nothing besides that.
Mark S.
@Hal:
Jesus, that question tripped up Sarah as well. Is it that hard to remember Lawrence v Texas? You know, THE BUTTFUCKING CASE.
bootsy
File this under that’s what he said:
Anti-gay Rabbi who wrote Paladino’s anti-gay speech is upset because Paladino later said, “Hey, I’m not anti-gay, I just read what’s put in front of me.”
Said Rabbi’s reaction:
From http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/14/nyregion/14paladino.html
Roger Moore
@Mark S.:
Don’t forget Kelo v New London, which managed to piss off both conservatives and liberals. It’s a good one to pick if you’re trying to avoid looking like an ideologue.
YellowJournalism
@Yutsano: Does she do windows?
El Cid
@Roger Moore: The Onion doesn’t care much for the added pressure to continually push the crazy up even more notches; they just can hope that their readers will have read The Onion before reading and watching the news.
Roger Moore
@bootsy:
He sounds awfully dishonest to me. First he says he was eating a kosher pastrami sandwich when he heard, then he talks about choking on kosher salami. Which one was it? And why the emphasis on both meats being kosher? It’s not like anyone in New York would be eating non-kosher pastrami, least of all a rabbi. Does he think his Jewishness is in question and feel the need to emphasize it by pointing out that he was eating kosher food?
YellowJournalism
This “free market” approach to domestic violence and Pat Sajak’s voters shouldn’t vote theory have such strong levels of stupid that I really think someone needs to learn how to harness it as a replacement for fossil fuels. Instead of gas stations, you’d just pull up to a tea party rally and insert a bullhorn into your gas tank.
Yutsano
@YellowJournalism: Well she is in Seattle right now and has a lot of nervous energy because my dad just got his other knee replaced (my aunt works at UW Med and wouldn’t let him THINK of going anywhere else) so I might be willing to loan her out while she’s in town. Hell I need something for her to do while I’m at work, I don’t have a TV and moping over my dad most likely isn’t conducive to her mental state.
bootsy
@Roger Moore: Exactly, Mr. Bond. Does he think Salami and Pastrami are the same thing? (Note: I do think it’s possible to get non-kosher salami in New York, but I don’t see how you could get non-kosher pastrami.)
It’s too bad being a bigot doesn’t revoke your Jewishness, but surely delicatessen ignorance should!
Moses2317
With Sestak surging in the Pennsylvania Senate race, I’d like to encourage folks again to throw some change and/or volunteer time his way.
Winning Progressive
Uncle Clarence Thomas
@Generally Stuckup:
President Obama would not approve of your intemperate remarks.
suzanne
@Yutsano: That’s so awesome. When my mom does stuff like that, she makes sure to guilt-trip me about it to the point where thanking her ends up being more labor-intensive than doing the damn dishes myself. Send yo momma over to my place! ;)
300baud
The obvious free-market solution is similar to student loans.
Sure, the kids don’t have much money at the time, but saving them from abuse ups their earning potential as adults. So PDHYC should just sign a contract with kids they help that promises, say, 10% of lifetime earnings. Starting with paper routes, and going through Social Security. Which should be abolished because it’s government tyranny, and only exists because of Obama’s Kenyan indoctrination with anti-colonialist views. But until it is, PDHYC should get a slice. It’s only fair.
Yutsano
@suzanne: The bizarre part? Usually when she does this (which is just about every time I visit) she does give me the whole spiel about how unclean the house is. This time she just muttered and got right to it. I’m pretty sure it’s cause of my dad being down.
hamletta
@kdaug: I like the cut of your jib, sir.
If not beating children is a commodity that can be sold, we can divvy it up and sell derivatives.
And what about shorting the market? Betting that little Janie gets her ass kicked? We can pay illegal immigrants $2/hr. to mess up her room, or smear her little panties with shit.
No matter that she’s given up her allowance, and her lunch money, too.
Why stop there? Let’s ply her rageaholic father with cheap liquor!
The market responds to incentives!
DFS
@Mark S.: Balko is irritating that way, because some of his stuff on police militarization and drug-war shit and whatnot is really good. And then suddenly he’ll pop off into paranoiac Randroid mode, like “Someone at the VA made a mistake once! HEALTH CARE REFORM WILL KILL US ALL!”
El Cid
@300baud: ‘Be a shame if somethin’ got in the way of our’s ability to ask yer parents not ta hit ya’s. A bit of that, you know, allowance, could help us see that you’re workin’ the same way, too.
YellowJournalism
@Yutsano: Your mom sounds a lot like my mom. Massive amounts of cleaning while nervous/worried/pissed is a family trait on my mom’s side of the family. (This is where my sister would make a joke about me taking after my dad’s side of the family.)
Here’s good wishes for your dad. My only suggestion for your mom is to slip her some heavy doses of sleeping pills, which unfortunately doesn’t work for my mom because she actually is one of those people who can’t sleep after taking a sedative. (Something I did get from my mom, along with a bubble butt. Thanks, genetics.)
suzanne
@Yutsano: Awwww. Well, I hope cleaning your house was therapeutic for her in some way. I heard once that cleaning is a psychological mechanism for exerting control when you feel you have none. (Don’t ask me if it’s true or not. I only know about dumb things like bricks and shit.) I find that a martini is both faster and more effective, personally.
hamletta
@El Cid: Oh, Jeez. Christian Science Monitor used to be a somewhat respectable paper. Kinda like the WSJ.
Since this lunacy is in their op-ed section, I’ll reserve judgment for now.
But damn! How wacked-out do you have to be to have The Fourth Estate say, “Um, no, sorry. Not for us.” And back away slowly.
John Bird
I started reading Internet news and opinion in 1998. And do you want to know what I’ve learned in twelve years of purgatory on Earth, cut with crack for nerds?
Don’t give your unreasoned opinion on specific allegations. Give it on large, vague issues.
I’m not being sarcastic. The number one thing I’ve seen make people look like asses in the race of poorly-edited instant Internet commentary is when something comes out that’s not a Congressional debate, but a criminal case, and smarter-than-that people pull an article off the wire and use it as a case study.
Because if your betters among the Serious People like the example, suddenly everyone is all up in arms to see someone hang (or be exonerated). Then it turns out, oh, they are looking at someone else for it the next day (or the accused strikes a self-serving plea bargain). So everyone’s suddenly an asshole, but, well, it’s never the dude with the big money byline who suffers, is it? Fox News was the first channel to turn this embarrassing chaos into a full-scale method for journalism, a process not unlike harnessing nuclear fission to build an atom bomb. That is, they are now so reliably inaccurate all the time that no one can effectively critique their sourcing on any single story.
And just like the atom bomb, the great men of the world all turned to each other and remarked, “I HAVE GOT TO GET ME ONE OF THESE”
Odie Hugh Manatee
@suzanne: “… I’ll admit, moistens my panties just a little. “
You sure that isn’t your water breaking? Don’t assume!!
@El Cid: “Pigs In Space. “
With lasers!
Yutsano
@YellowJournalism: Fortunately this is the second go round for my father, so he at least knows what will most likely happen from here. It’s my mom I need to keep an eye on and see how things go. Since the surgery went totally smooth, I think she’ll calm down until he gets sent home. Then she gets to deal with him being cranky for the next six weeks cause he can’t move. Good times.
@suzanne: Hehehe. I’m sure there’s some really awesome joke about pregnant architorturists somewhere, but it’s not coming to me right now. Plus I’m safely 1000 miles north.
Larkspur
BlackwaterI mean Xe would totally be all over this. They go in, take the kids, waterboard the parents until they promise to be good, install all kinds of surveillance equipment in the home, return the kids, then when things go south again*, Xe takes the kids again and either (a) sells them for parts, or (b) puts them in regional Gingrich Homes and trains them, and when they’re old enough, they’ll become indentured mercenaries, or possibly surveillance equipment installers.*Recidivist parental units can be used for parts and/or mulch.
John Bird
P.S. Y’all should love on Scocca every damn day. He’s probably one of the top people writing on the topic of media today and, in a sane world, would have a weekly column in the Times and the Post.
Wile E. Quixote
@Anne Laurie:
Yeah, that woman is crazy and wrong. The real solution is to repeal all of the laws that prevent children from purchasing and owning guns. If these kids were armed they’d just bust a cap in their old man when he tries to abuse them.*
*I can haz Koch foundation check now?
Origuy
@El Cid: Can we send Dinesh D’Souza into space? Do we have to bring him back?
@suzanne: One word: outsourcing.
Wile E. Quixote
@300baud:
I agree with you, but with the privisio that they should only be paid if the paper routes are delivering GRIT, the Washington Times the New York Post or the Wall Street Journal (but only the editorial pages, because the rest of the paper is a festering hotbed of godless liberalism). Otherwise you’re just creating a future socialist, who will end up converting to Islam and becoming gay.
Wile E. Quixote
@El Cid (quoting Dinesh D’Souza):
Yes, this is just another attempt to impose sharia law on the western world. We should not only resist this attempt to decolonize space but should also give up the insidious sharia inventions of Arabic numerals (My God! They’re “Arabic”, isn’t it obvious what’s going on here?), algebra and alcohol.). We need to invent a new Christian numeric system that respects traditional family values, the free market and the achievements of Ronald Reagan and that will be easy for Megan McArdle to understand.
Wile E. Quixote
@bootsy:
How much do you want to bet that Rabbi Levin is just a kosher version of Ted Haggard? Yeah, I’ll bet that’s not the first “kosher salami” that Rabbi Levin has ever choked on.
SRW1
The solution to domestic violence is for there to be private companies that will go around telling people to please stop hitting their kids. Oh, the parents will say, we hadn’t thought of that. We will stop hitting the children now.
Of course parents will say that. At least until they are handed that invoice for 50 bucks to cover the costs of the private enterprise. At which point the beatings of the culprits that have incurred these costs will resume and the business cycle enters into its next round.
SRW1
@El Cid:
What about if we appoint D’Souza Warden of the Space Colonies and have him patrol them in person?
SRW1
@El Cid:
What about if we appoint D’Souza Warden of the Space Colonies and have him patrol them in person?
WereBear (itouch)
I have run into so many potential retirees with this plan. When they are embarking on a phase of life who really needs those social services. I’m sorry.
Wilson Heath
Either the NH constitution is totally wacky or this is complete and utter drivel. This is the tenth amendment stuff that they keep masturbating to (except for O’Donnell). Traditional state role.
“Unconstitutional” is the official wingnut shorthand for “No, sir, I don’t like it!”
bemused
@JasonF:
What a poor excuse for a libertarian. He still has one good eye, doesn’t he? No reason that he can’t get a job and take care of himself and family like every other staunch libertarian would and refuse that disability that the rest of us probably have to pay for.
NickM
If there were a dime to be made in it, private enterprise would market “Welt-Razr” belts to the abusive fathers.
kay
The libertarians got played.
If she’s past termination of parental rights stage regarding her other two children, she’s been in court on those kids for at least two years. She’s had a court-appointed attorney the entire time. He wouldn’t have had one, because they aren’t his kids, but he’ll get one at his first appearance on the baby. One of her other children as been adjudicated “abused”, and that required a lengthy court process, all by itself. In addition, she’s the person who made the allegations of domestic violence.
These two have been involved with child welfare for years.
Annelid Gustator
@DaddyJ: dang, you beat me to it. I was going to go with a variant like “cap and smack” or “smack and trade.”
Roger Moore
@Wile E. Quixote:
You had me with you until that last bit. Sorry, but Megan McAddled’s problem isn’t with those Sharia numerals, it’s with underlying concepts like bigger, smaller, and any number too large to be easily represented on one’s fingers and toes.
Svensker
@suzanne:
The nap thing goes away pretty quickly and your sleep becomes more normal (if more uncomfortable). Course, after the kid comes, you’ll kill to be complaining about getting too much sleep, so there’s that.
soonergrunt
@suzanne:
That was the idea.
asiangrrlMN
@BDeevDad: Thank you for sharing this link. It had me in tears. It’s my favorite one of the series thus far. Just amazing.
@Yutsano: Send her to MN, please. Tell her your (fake) wife’s house needs cleaning.
Jack
NH? No. Fuck no.
Epsom shit hole fucktown corruption club? Yes.
Broad stroke much?
TKOEd
@Roger Moore: +1
fish
@Roger Moore:
he talks about choking on kosher salami
Is that what kids are calling it these days?
Karyn
Of course they’re red-neck assholes who beat their kids – they’re from fucking Rochester! This is why I tell people that Portsmouth is actually just part of Kittery, and therefore part of Maine. It is also why I have never once thought of New Hampshire when I feel homesick.
You know it’s bad when you pick voted-against-my-right-to-marry over your (technical) home state. Sure, there are lots of red-necks in Maine, too, but the libertarians there mostly fight against people telling them to clean up their tractor-encrusted lawns or use something other than a tarp as roofing. Anyone who yells at nosy homeowners-association types is okay by me. I might be biased because I’m related to every fucking person there, but Maine just seems like the Goldilocks alternative to MA and NH. Plenty of tax-y services, fewer stupid fucking hippies.
keestadoll
@suzanne: I hear you. No, I mean, I really do get where you’re coming from (twice in fact) bust I must tell you that as pooped-out and on the edge of postal as you are now, that’s nothing compared to post-delivery when you’re up every two hours and silence becomes something you fondly remember. My advice: relish this time, and for the sake of your mental health, avoid the interwebs. What you are doing and what you will be doing is way more important to the country and its future than any of this crap.
keestadoll
@gbear: A Michael Jackson for every disadvantaged child!!!!!!