Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

Everybody saw this coming.

Infrastructure week. at last.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Just because you believe it, that doesn’t make it true.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

Presidents are not kings, and Plaintiff is not President.

People are complicated. Love is not.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

Let there be snark.

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207Comments

  7. 7.

    wmd

    He better have food in his bowl. RC heads for his bowl immediately on returning home, and I bet Tunch will be hungry after his adventure.

  9. 9.

    licensed to kill time

    So glad he found your front porch again! That must have freaked you both out…it’s just awful when they disappear like that.

    Give him a stern talking to, and then love him up.

  12. 12.

    kdaug

    Healthy? Last time my dog and cat got out, the cat came back with a pierced iris (likely a fight with another cat), and the dog came back covered with grease – he apparently found his way to a local restaurant’s grease trap, and enjoyed some blissful doggie wallowing.

    The cat underwent two weeks of enforced antibiotics (shooter-stick thingie down the throat) and eyedrops.
    She was a huge fan.

    We shaved the dog.

  15. 15.

    Scott

    Christ on a crutch Cole! Is it so fucking hard to guarantee the safety of the animals that you’re guardian of?

    You found Rosie running around loose on a dangerous public street if I recall, so one would assume you’d be sensitive to the plight of animals that get loose and run down by cars.

    And yet this isn’t the first time you’ve let Tunch escape.

    And then to not really be aware that he’s missing . . . apparently for the better part of a day? WTF is that all about?

    I’ve got two dogs and a cat that I’ve had for 10, 11 and 13 years and none of them has ever gotten loose.

    Maybe if you spent a bit less time drunk and a bit more time figuring out how to keep your animals safe (like by fencing your yard) you wouldn’t experience these periodic frantic episodes of animal loss.

  17. 17.

    debit

    @Scott: Fuck you, asshole. Seriously. Animals find ways to get out. We try to prevent it as best we can, but no one is perfect. Not even sanctimonious assholes like you.

  19. 19.

    JenJen

    My little boy Joey (full name: Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo), who is at least 17 years old (or at least the same age as that classic Simpsons ep) and who I am sure will end up burying me one day, had a little adventure the other night as well.

    Came home looking like he’d been in a bit of a fight, but on the winning side. Vet said he was just fine, but good gawd did he give me a fright.

    For anyone who thinks it’s a very simple thing to keep an indoor cat indoors, I offer up a hearty “speak for your damned self.” It amazes me to this day that my old boy manages to pull the stealth run-around when I’m just letting the dogs out.

    So glad he’s back, Cole! I know exactly how you feel.

  23. 23.

    Jules

    I had not read your previous post Cole, but that was my day too.
    One of our cats was here yesterday morning and then this AM I realised that that no one had seen him all day or last night…..

    I spent all morning calling for him and he just sauntered in about an hour ago very hungry and very tired…must have been one big kitty adventure.

    Glad Tunch showed back up.

  24. 24.

    WereBear

    Thank goodness!

    Cats are incredibly good at getting out. Though I have trained several to give up the outdoors after rescue with a little psychodrama I call The Water Monster.

    But yes, better he come home scared and dirty and chastened. I know Cain was going through heck over a lost cat; didn’t hear that the cat came back.

  25. 25.

    JenJen

    @taylormattd: I mean, really.

    @Scott: Get a grip, and get over yourself. Even indoor cats (like my precious boy) get out from time to time. The fact that yours never managed to has absolutely nothing to do with your dedication or level of sobriety. All cats are different, and some crave freedom and exploration (and, the eating of grass) more than others. That was a cheap shot.

  28. 28.

    SBJules

    I too can testify to crafty kitties who find their way outside. I’m very glad Tunch is home!

  29. 29.

    gogol's wife

    Thank God. This was dominating my mental space this afternoon. I guess Cain’s cat hasn’t come back? I know how horrible this is. I second the idea to give Tunch a good physical inspection. And tuna.

  30. 30.

    MattR

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Thank god he’s back! Feed him, clean him, love him, and take pics of him.

    Sounds like you would make the perfect housewife, other than the pics.

  31. 31.

    Maude

    I had a cat that would get out and I’d not see her for a few days. All of a sudden, she’d be sitting on the first floor window sill, as calm as could be.
    Cats are Houdini’s.

  33. 33.

    gbear

    Very glad to hear that Tunch came back and is only a little worse for wear. I (like every other pet owner here) was worried for you.

    Now I can go back to arguing about loud motorcycle pipes at the local paper’s website.

    And finishing laundry.

  34. 34.

    moe99

    So glad to hear Tunch is back. Cats are very devious animals, as I learned with my very own: Dorothy Parker. This combined with a Seahawks win and a sunny Sunday in Seattle, makes things so pleasant!

  35. 35.

    Culture of Truth

    I’ve got two dogs and a cat that I’ve had for 10, 11 and 13 years and none of them has ever gotten loose.

    Well I’ve been a human being for more than that combined and I’ve never said something said something so mean to someone else.

  36. 36.

    Comrade Mary

    Oh, thank goodness. I went out for a ride and really hoped all would be well by the time I got back.

    Poor Tunch. Like any libertarian, once he was hit with the world of cold, hard facts, he had to seriously reconsider his outlook on life (which, I would think, now includes MOAR TUNA!)

  37. 37.

    Elroy's Lunch

    Glad he’s back. I know what it is like when they aren’t where they should be. Bad feeling in the pit of the stomach.

    And @Scott: , jeez, take a deep breath fer chissakes.

  42. 42.

    eemom

    Don’t you wish you could ask sternly, “Where were you, young kitty?” and demand an answer? That’s the one advantage of being a parent to little humans.

    ‘Sides, I’d kind of like to know where he was.

  43. 43.

    YellowDog

    @Scott:

    I am not one to pile on, but your post was way over the line. Cats are like that–eternal vigilance is the price of a cat. Mine found a way to get down from a second-story deck and back up again (and no, there were no stairs). Get over yourself.

  44. 44.

    Comrade Luke

    I bet he’ll be cuddly the rest of the day. My cat got out for only 30min (friend left the front door open too long, so fuck off in advance Scott), and when she came back in the house she wouldn’t leave my side the rest of the night.

    Makes things like politics seem trivial when this happens. Congrats on getting your buddy back.

  45. 45.

    asiangrrlMN

    GDMYWPWSDIAFOBSITEWAVRPF!

    @MattR: I hope so! I have most of my outfit–dress, pearls, gloves, purse, makeup (which ought to be fun. I haven’t done a full face in almost twenty years). I am looking at aprons right now. There’s a black one with skulls that I like, but if I go a bit more traditional, sheer organza!

    Then, shoes. The holy grail. Unfortunately, the cutest pair have 5-inch heels. Yeah, no.

    TOUCHDOWN, Vikes! Woot woot!

  47. 47.

    JenJen

    @Linda Featheringill: Well, Scott did also suggest that fencing in your back yard is a solution to the Disappearing Cat on Walkabout problem.

    Any cat owner alive has to be LOL’ing at that little piece of advice. Domestic kitties are like little lions, little tigers, little cougars, little panthers. Ain’t no backyard fence gonna keep a good cat penned in when he’s in the mood for an adventure. It’s just the way they roll. It’s frustrating, and at times frightening, but it’s also a part of what makes kitties so fucking awesome. Their independence, lust for life, and “fuck you, imma do what I want” attitude is part of why we love them so much, isn’t it?

    The drinking thing, to me, was just a cheap, personal, judgmental shot that has absolutely nothing to do with Cole’s own demonstrable dedication to his pack.

    @asiangrrlMN: Screw that noise. You wanna be a rockin’ housewife? I say put on a bathrobe, walk outside with your hair in curlers, and aim a shotgun at the neighbors pigeons while holding a burning ciggie at the corner of the lip. Go full-on Betty Draper or it doesn’t count.

  56. 56.

    tesslibrarian

    @debit: THIS.

    I had one cat who was an escape artist. She was the one scared of dogs and scared of heights, so I’m not sure what her plan was, but even though she once was out for half a day and seemed terrified by it, the following month involved herculean efforts to keep her inside when we went to check the mail or go to work. We had to lock her in another room if we had a delivery that required a signature or exchange of money.

    Oh, and so glad Tunch is okay. Hope he gets some high-quality lap time today.

  58. 58.

    Turgidson

    @JenJen:

    My little boy Joey (full name: Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo)

    Moe: That’s the wort name I ever heard.
    (guy runs out crying)
    Barney: Hey! Joey Joe Joe!

    Love that scene. I’ve been threatening to name my wife that I would name our first pet either that or HoJu. She’s not amused.

  59. 59.

    JPL

    Personally, I think a picture would have been posted by now of Tunch. Just so we know that you are not trying to appease us. You used to be a repub and appeasement comes easy to them.

  61. 61.

    pika

    Oh thank goodness he’s back. One of mine got out after I took the dogs for a walk–I hadn’t closed the door tightly. This cat has been out TWICE in his 14-year life, and each time he’s escaped, he runs around the corner of the house and stands with his nose against the fence and meows because he is confused.

    THIS time, he barreled out the door because the hated neighbor cat (she who throws herself up against the door like one of those sticky spider toys) was outside, and while I was two houses down, I heard this odd noise. We came back and saw boycat hunkered down near ladycat–he had clawfuls of her fur, and seemed to have won the round. As he saw me, he ran around the back of the house, nose-up to the fence, and meowed. Happy ending: no one ended up abscessed.

    Hope Tunch is just dirty, and that you gave him tuna in a stemmed glass to welcome him home.

  63. 63.

    asiangrrlMN

    @JenJen: NOW you tell me? Now, YOU tell me? Damn. I really like that idea (especially as it would be easier to produce). Next year! I’ll be disgruntled and disenchanted fifties housewife (with a foul mouth and a broken leg).

    @valdivia: Um, it’s like in the fifties. You don’t need sweaters and coats. What are you coming here for?

  64. 64.

    MattR

    @asiangrrlMN: Do you know how annoying it is to be a Broncos fan right now? I don’t have any irrational feelings towards Tebow one way or another. But I would love to kick Josh McDaniels right in the nuts.

  68. 68.

    gbear

    @valdivia:

    Bring the sweaters but you can skip the coats & pack a windbreaker instead. It ain’t close to snowing here yet. You going to be in the cities or out in the suburbs (which we will mock mercilessly)?

  69. 69.

    asiangrrlMN

    @MattR: Do you know how annoying it is to be a VIKINGS fan right now? Game, set, match.

    @debit: Maybe we should ask where she lives. That could make a big difference in attitude.

    @stuckinred: Mid-fifties! It’s nice out. See what my MN peeps have said.

  70. 70.

    YellowDog

    @asiangrrlMN:

    You must have me confused with someone who cares about somebody named Tebow. Does he play football? I have been a Vikings fan for 42 years. I know a Kapp, a Page, a Tarkenton, and a whole bunch of other names, but who is this Tebow you speak of?

  72. 72.

    WaterGirl

    The only time my cat has gone missing (2 days!) was when the janitor at work inadvertently made a loud noise one night while he had the door open, and quiver shot out the door. Those were a long two days and nights, with thunderstorms, no less. I brought quiver home to live with me shortly after that.

    There’s one thing I always do now before I leave the house, and that’s to make sure I know where everyone is. That way if I come home and can’t find one of my guys, I know for certain when I saw them last and I know that they were in the house and okay when I left. I find it keeps the panic level down if I can’t find them right away.

    I was rewarded for doing this early on, when I found that my sister, who was visiting, had shut quiver in a closet. I was so glad I caught that before I left the house.

  76. 76.

    JenJen

    @asiangrrlMN: Hey, it makes for an awesome Halloween costume. Also, I went to a Mad Men costume party for the Season 4 premier, and I came as Betty Draper with the shotgun, cig, rollers and bathrobe. All the other girls came in pearls and long skirts, because they weren’t funny like us. :-)

    @Turgidson: I always knew I liked you. ;-)

  77. 77.

    The Dangerman

    @Comrade Mary:

    @The Dangerman: Hey, did you ever see this?

    No, thanks; was that DR or an imposter? Hard to tell. I don’t think DR would have a good enough sense of humor to do it.

    Poor guy; he and Jimmy Carter should share stories (although any killer rabbit story today would just be viewed as Fox News propagandistic bullshit).

  79. 79.

    asiangrrlMN

    @YellowDog: Sorry. The first part of the response was to you. The second was to the damn announcer of the game who was wanking Tebow. Ugh.

    Come on, Vikings! Do SOMETHING! Um, how about blocking Romo? Gaaaah!

  81. 81.

    Clockwork Buddha

    @Scott:

    I’ve got two dogs and a cat that I’ve had for 10, 11 and 13 years and none of them has ever gotten loose.

    “That’s because I stapled them to the floor. Did the same to myself after realizing that going outside and talking to folks got me punched in the head a lot. I survive on water crackers and Peppermint Patties that neighborhood kids shove through the mail slot…”

  85. 85.

    stuckinred

    @YellowDog: As a life long Bear fan I certainly remember him but I guess what I recall most is when they brought him out in the wheelchair after his wreck. Really sad.

  87. 87.

    asiangrrlMN

    Sigh. No Purple People-Eater defense here. 7-14. Damn.

    @JenJen: Had you hit me up last night, I might have made the whole-sale switch. As it is, I will be the foul-mouthed fifties housewife with a twist (like stripper shoes. Which means I will break an ankle by the end of the night).

    @stuckinred: Yes. He ran for a first down. OK, tackle, then. Brushed him back. Any fucking thing!

    @YellowDog: PA?

  89. 89.

    R-Jud

    @Turgidson:

    I’ve been threatening to name my wife that I would name our first pet either that or HoJu.

    My husband, to our newborn daughter: “Would you like to change your name to Rosy Junior? The kids could call you RoJu!”

    She, like Bart, just blinked.

  91. 91.

    YellowDog

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Here’s a bit of history that’s largely forgotten. The defense hated that name. They preferred “Purple Gang,” but the media liked it and it has stuck. PA? You claim to live in Minnesota and you don’t know Paul Allen?

    Apologies to others for the OT talk.

  92. 92.

    Left Coast Tom

    @JenJen:

    Any cat owner alive has to be LOL’ing at that little piece of advice. Domestic kitties are like little lions, little tigers, little cougars, little panthers. Ain’t no backyard fence gonna keep a good cat penned in when he’s in the mood for an adventure.

    I’m not a cat owner, and I LOL’d at it. I regularly look out my kitchen window in the morning and see cats…they climb fences, walk along the top of them, dig under them then crawl…sometimes their owners want to go in my back yard searching for their cats.

    I had a Siberian Husky growing up in MI, they really like to run, and though we did have a fenced-in yard he occasionally got loose. Shit happens. Most commonly someone would open the gate to come up and say “hi” and not close it after them, one particularly snowy winter he jumped over the fence from the snow piled up beside the driveway.

  94. 94.

    Jager

    My ex-wife’s Mom had a cat named Beau who was slippery.
    The family was leaving on a 2 week vacation, Beau was staying home with a daily visit from a neighbor. After a couple of days they called to see how old Beau was doing…the nieghbor said I’ve looked everywhere for him, can’t find him. The rest of the vacation was rather gloomy. A week and a half later they pulled into the garage and heard cat sounds coming from a storage closet. Sure enough Beau had slipped out of the house and into the garage and ended up in the closet. he spent two weeks with no food, no water. He was weak and had lost weight but was pronounced doing well after the vet gave him fluids. The cat was back to his old habits within 2 weeks, lived for another 8 years.

  95. 95.

    The Dangerman

    It was at the soundcheck, not the actual show.

    Didn’t even look like sound check; looked like they were in the back of the studio.

    Good for Dan and the Boys….

  96. 96.

    jeffreyw

    @stuckinred:
    Eh? Too old, too fat, too broke down to be climbin trees young feller. And anyway, time I decided which piece to bring the bastards will all be long gone. The bastards. What was it we was talkin about, now? Oh, yeah, fuckin kids these days. get offa my lawn

  99. 99.

    YellowDog

    @asiangrrlMN:

    If you want to learn, get Reusse’s table book (he got religion about the Vikings when he had a book to sell) or one of Jim Klobuchar’s OOP books on ebay. It’s too bad that Don Riley’s columns for the Press in the 60’s and 70’s have never been compiled and published. He was funny and a total homer.

    Game tied!

    So many posts, I forgot this was an open thread.

  100. 100.

    SIA

    I’m relieved Tunch is back and wouldn’t say this if he wasn’t. I let my darling Romeo out some years ago (in a semi-rural environment – he was still mostly an inside cat) and he was brutally killed by either a coyote or large dog. I’m trying to pull myself out of my time-warp back to the past and re-feeling all that I felt then after reading about Tunch. I still miss Romeo dreadfully and still reproach myself that I didn’t keep him in. The male cat we have now, Angel, is an escape artist (I no logner let them out under any circumstances) and he’s gotten out a few times and scared the crap out of me.

    If you can help it, don’t let cats and small dogs out, especially at night.

    Seems like it’s the males mostly that want to get out even if they’re fixed. I tell Angel in his next life he’ll live in a big barn filled with rats and lots of horny female cats.

  101. 101.

    morzer

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Still time for you to find a real NFL team to support.

    *evil grin*

    Go Broncos!

    And yes, if someone sold McDaniels and Tebow to a eunuch supply house, I for one would roundly applaud this meritorious action.

  102. 102.

    Ash Can

    Late to the party, but three cheers for a safe-and-sound Tunch!

    And I just have to say @jeffreyw: I am, as always, in complete awe of your mad food-pr0n skillz.

  103. 103.

    Citizen_X

    I just found a very dirty, wide-eyed, and I think scared Tunch on my front porch.

    I call bullshit. Tunch was scared?

    I expect a Tunch return to go like this:

    Cole goes out front, sees his neighborhood mostly reduced to a smoking ruin. “What the fuck happened here?” he says. Then he spies a dirty, surly Tunch sauntering in. “Oh, you got out,” he says, “that explains it.”

    JK. Good to hear he’s back.

  105. 105.

    khead

    My wife would divorce me if I let the cat out overnight.

    Of course, the cat sleeps with us so I guess I would be outside too.

    khead +2

  106. 106.

    Yutsano

    @morzer: Oh jeez. The only Broncos worth cheering for are from the state of Idaho. Especially after bringing on the Wonder Twins. Seriously, my first reaction to seeing McDaniel: “HE’S A FUCKING BABY!!” Jesus Boy and the Massive Ego Stroke (apparently the only kind he gets) only make things worse.

    Side note: just spilled milk all over my keyboard. So far no loss of functionality but if I disappear that’s where I went.

  107. 107.

    morzer

    @Yutsano:

    Sorry, but decency rules prescribe that anyone playing the Jets or the Cowboys or the Patriots must be supported vehemently – unless, of course, they happen to be one of the other two teams in question.

    Note that the eunuchization of McDaniels and Tebow is fully supported and even advocated here.

  108. 108.

    bemused

    I hope Tunch now knows the dangers of sneaking out and showing you proper gratitude for letting him back in and providing for his every want and desire.
    Never mind. He’s a cat. From a cat’s view, it is the other way around.

  109. 109.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN)

    I am very glad that none of my kids want to go out. If I hold the door open, they just look at me, trying to figure out what I’m doing.

    Cats should never have body parts shaved if at all possible. Eddie’s leg is nekkid, and really scrawny. I also really hope that the fur grows back on his paw. Without the two middle toes, it looks really ugly. He doesn’t care much, but it makes me sad to look at it.

    Other than that, he’s doing well. I’m giving him his allergy shots, and all I can say is that it’s a hell of a lot easier to inject him than it is to force a pill down his throat.

  112. 112.

    Zuzu's Petals

    @MoZeu:

    After making the mistake of following the link to his website (ugh), I’d say your observation seems pretty literally true.

    Since his main interest seems to be purveying online (gay) leather porn and anti-Obama screeds rather than animal welfare, my guess is he’s just trolling for blog hits.

    Just my opinion.

  118. 118.

    Yutsano

    @morzer: Cowboys and Patriots I totally understand. Jets I’m neutral on. That could explain the relative levels of antipathy here.

    Vikes take the lead. Wifey haz a happy.

  120. 120.

    Anya

    Was Tunch out in a secret mission on ACORN’s behalf to falsify votes for the dems? I am glad he is back safe and sound. He just needs a little love and food.

  123. 123.

    schrodinger's cat

    Glad he’s back. I got the fright of my life when my ginger kitteh got out when we were out grilling this summer. Thankfully I found her half an hour later covered with leaves under the deck. Poor thing was freaked out.

    P.S. We can has pictures of the returning hero?

  128. 128.

    debit

    Dear makers of Old Spice: I don’t want to imagine my favorite NFL players smelling like my dad did back in the 70s. Please stop it.

    Love,

    debit

  131. 131.

    debit

    Vikes intercept!

    Oh, I forgot, whoever suggested adding freshly grated Parmesan to the breading for oven baked chicken breasts: Thank you. It was delicious.

  136. 136.

    Yutsano

    @debit: That may have been me, as I do that with pretty much any chicken cutlet I’m pan frying or baking. Prego. :)

    Also really good in the breading for eggplant. I do that for parmigana all the time, but I’m always tempted to skip the rest and eat the eggplant slices just fried like that. Nom.

  137. 137.

    JenJen

    @debit: @Yutsano: You know what else is a good thing to add to breadcrumbs? Some of those French’s fried onion thingies you usually only eat at Thanksgiving in that green bean casserole. Just put ’em under a rolling pin and some wax paper, pulverize ’em, and add ’em to your breading. Super-yum.

  141. 141.

    Bill H

    Molly regards windows as sort of her eqivalent of our television. If she accidentally went out the door as a hoomin was using it I think she would knock the hoomin down getting back inside as soon as she realized that she was OMIGOD, OUTDOORS! We got her at age 2-3 and she was turned in with a collar, so we assume she was somebody’s pet that got lost or (hopefully not) dumped. She is the opposite of brave.

    Even with her supreme disinterest in the outdoors, though, we are very careful about doors. She is, of course, microchipped, because a cat can and will always wind up outdoors at some point.

    I’m assuming Tunch has a microchip, John.

  146. 146.

    WaterGirl

    @debit: Was there some sort of recipe? I am trying to eat more chicken, but I find chicken itself to be infinitely boring, so I would love to find a good, simple recipe for chicken.

  147. 147.

    Yutsano

    @debit: Hehehe. I thought I was the only one who ever ate those. That and I intentionally get club hand just so I can sample the bits of breading that fall off and fry up faster. I really have no idea how I get to the main meal with anything resembling an appetite, I’m eating pretty much constantly the whole time.

  149. 149.

    stuckinred

    @WaterGirl: It’s pretty versatile. Try some simple stir fry’s with you favorite vegetables. Chicken with Okra, maters and corn is awesome. Gumbo, jambalaya, marinara, paprika. . .

  150. 150.

    debit

    @WaterGirl: No real recipe, just take boneless, skinless chicken breasts and dip in a beaten egg, then dredge in bread crumbs with a healthy handful of fresh parmesan mixed in. Baked in a lightly oiled pan in a 350 oven for 30-40 minutes. Turn ’em about 20 minutes in. Seriously yummy.

  152. 152.

    Joy

    “My cats never go outside.”

    Years ago, one of my tabby cats got outside unobserved by me. I was grilling in the back yard. This friendly cat, who looked at lot like my cat Mata, kept coming up to me. I petted her and told her to go home and went to my front yard. The cat followed me, still being very friendly. I petted her, observed to my brother (who lived with me then) that the cat looked a lot like Mata, to which he agreed. I went inside.

    About 3 hours later, I realized I had not seen Mata since early in the afternoon. I heard an impatient meow on the outside of the front door. “Could that be Mata?” I asked my brother.

    So I opened the door and Mata shot in. She never went outside again. I had not recognized my own cat.

    I’m glad Tunch is home safe.

  153. 153.

    debit

    And it’s not healthy, but you can take some cooked chicken (diced), throw in a bowl with some snipped Rosemary, mayo and some diced, tart apple, then slather on sliced sourdough for a sandwich. :Homer drool:

  154. 154.

    WaterGirl

    @debit:
    @stuckinred:
    @morzer:
    Another problem I have is that my chicken, besides being boring, is usually tough or rubbery. Less so when I buy the “smart chicken”. I’m a pretty good cook otherwise, but I am really not good with chicken.

    Any suggestions of how to end up with chicken that is more tender? Maybe I’m cooking it too long, or too fast, or too slow?

    Edit: The “chicken, breadcrumbs, egg, parmesan and bake” recipe sounds so simple that i’m not sure how i could screw that up.

  156. 156.

    Yutsano

    @WaterGirl: You could be cooking it too hot, but there are different solutions depending on what piece you’re cooking (or a whole bird) and the cooking method you’re using. One definite way to help is to brine or marinade the chicken for a couple of hours before cooking. I tend to do this overnight, but even just a couple of hours will do wonders for the flavor and texture.

  158. 158.

    debit

    @WaterGirl: Tough or rubbery chicken is chicken that’s been overcooked.

    You can’t screw it up. Seriously, 40 minutes max in the oven (less if you only are cooking a couple breasts. I usually cook 6-8 at a time). Let it rest for a couple of minutes after taking from the oven, then dig in.

  159. 159.

    Yutsano

    @asiangrrlMN: Telling someone to brine a chicken is easy. Actually formulating the brine, well, that’s where life gets a wee bit more complicated. Because brines vary depending on usage and final finished product.

    Very tough to type around kitteh.

  162. 162.

    WaterGirl

    @asiangrrlMN: In college we called that “pulling it out of the whacko hat”.

    Edit:

    @debit: I will try that recipe this week and report back.

    @Yutsano: For chicken, if I have to google “brine” to figure it out, it’s too complicated. :-) But I will try a marinade.

  163. 163.

    Cat Lady

    @morzer:

    Good game, but the Pats are back to what worked before they were seduced by diva receivers who require total attention and constant praise. Now it’s back to the nice girls who aren’t flashy and who are loyal and happy to be back dating us. I’m wearing my Patriots footie pajamas.

  164. 164.

    Yutsano

    @WaterGirl: A chicken breast should never be pan fried longer than 15 minutes or baked for longer than 45. If it’s not done in the pan after 15, throw into a 300 degree oven, the heat is much gentler there and will cause much less moisture loss. debit’s recipe sounds really good too!

  165. 165.

    Paul in NC

    You shoud let him out more often. He probably had a great time. He knows where to find the food bowl.

  166. 166.

    Crusty Dem

    @WaterGirl:

    Tough chicken breasts are overcooked, they’re awfully sensitive to overcooking even under the best circumstances. A good brining helps, but another alternative is to skip the breasts and cook chicken thighs, more cooking just makes them more tender. Great for a stew/jambalaya/tikka masala/etc…

  168. 168.

    cckids

    So glad Tunch found his way home. We had a similar scare 10 days or so ago; Miss Granger was terrified away by the neighbor’s lawn guy & spent the night somewhere. We left the garage door up a few inches & found her in there just after daybreak the next morning. It is a sickening feeling to know an animal is gone & not much you can do about it. We’ve got coyotes the size of German Shepherds (well close) living less than a block away.

    She spent 2 days under a bed, then emerged to once again rule the household.

  169. 169.

    morzer

    @Cat Lady:

    *smiles* Just so long as you don’t expect to get beyond the first round of the play-offs at best. Otherwise, you have a long period of sorrow coming.

    Anyway, enjoy your nice girls in pyjamas…

  170. 170.

    WaterGirl

    @Yutsano: @Crusty Dem: I often cook the breast “tenders” so they probably take a lot less than 15 minutes. Surely I have been overcooking them when I saute.

    Also, my only “in the oven” chicken recipe is a chicken and white wine recipe (basically butter, white wine & spices) and that calls for cooking for over an hour. So I have probably been over-cooking there, too.

    Thanks everyone for all the tips!

  171. 171.

    Beauzeaux

    Everyone stop jumping on Scott. He just cares about His Royal Tunchness more than he does about Cole

    Come to think of it, so do I.

  172. 172.

    schrodinger's cat

    @WaterGirl: Try cooking bone-in thighs, it is very difficult to overcook them. I usually skin the thighs, marinade them in yogurt with a spice paste (usually ginger, garlic, turmeric, cayenne, cilantro some oregano and kosher salt) and bake them (450 about 1/2 hour) or grill them. I have also tried beer marinades, they work pretty good too, plus I get to drink half the bottle!

  174. 174.

    quaint irene

    I’ve got two dogs and a cat that I’ve had for 10, 11 and 13 years and none of them has ever gotten loose.

    Then you, my friend, are the lone pet owner that can make that statement.
    Burt was a shepherd mix. At near to one year old he was close to his adult size. But he still found ways to ooze himself through incredibly small spaces in our fencing. I think puppies and aging puppies are made out of oobleck and can trickle through spaces like that irridescent bad guy in the Terminator ll movie.

  175. 175.

    JCT

    Had Moroccan chicken and pumpkin couscous tonight — dry run for this year’s Thanksgiving at my place that will be turkey free — hooray!

    And I’m glad Tunch is back, John. Got my Mango puss sitting right here, tired from a day of hunting. He’s intently staring at our cycling reef tank, he clearly can’t wait for it to be filled with “snacks” for him.

  177. 177.

    JCT

    @debit: Normally it would be my pleasure but they were both really involved — took a good part of the afternoon. My daughter came home from studying in Fez with a *real* love of Moroccan food and some wicked new cooking skills from her homestay mom. She had mentioned that her “other” mom would spend a good part of every Friday making the big couscous meal — I thought she was exaggerating, but after steaming the couscous 3 separate times, now I understand. My husband and teenaged son are now lying in the living room in a food coma.

    For those who are interested the recipes were largely taken from Paula Wolfert’s “Couscous and other good food from Morocco” (Pumpkin Couscous and Chicken with Lemons and Olives Emshmel). Enough food for an army but sublime.

  178. 178.

    TuiMel

    Glad Tunch has returned. I recommend close inspection with the cleaning. Didn’t he wind up with a butt abscess the last time he went wandering?

  179. 179.

    burnspbesq

    Dirty and wide-eyed doesn’t surprise me. It wasn’t easy arranging to get Boise State fucked over by the BCS (again).

  181. 181.

    Yutsano

    @burnspbesq: Meh. You get used to it. It’s not like the Ducks aren’t getting equally fucked over here as well. Apparently a Pac-10 school can’t be number one unless you are the University of Spoiled Children.

  182. 182.

    Wrye

    I’m glad Tunch is back, and glad the NFL and NHL are back. They seem to improve the mood of people north and south of the border.

  184. 184.

    josefina

    @WaterGirl: My three no-fail tips for delish chicken:

    1. Buy local, non-factory-farmed birds. They’re more expensive but so so so worth it. (Even more true for eggs.) If you buy parts, get skin-on if at all possible; cook them that way, then take the skin off; it adds lots of flavor even if you don’t eat it.

    2. Brine=tastier, moister chicken. Get a big sturdy freezer bag and half-fill it with water. Add kosher salt until it tastes like seawater. Slide the chicken in (whole bird or pieces) and stick the bag in the fridge. Leave it there for at least an hour or two, though overnight is best; turn it a couple of times if all the meat isn’t submerged at once.

    3. If you’re getting rubbery chicken, you’re cooking it for too long at too high a temperature. Choose short & high or long & low. For S&H, cut up the chicken into equal(ish)-sized pieces so they’re all done at the same time.

  185. 185.

    Svensker

    Very late to the party but yay Tunch is safe and home. And go Jetties. A nasty ugly win but then the refs were in the pay of either the Broncos or the Patriots, so we’ll take what we can eke out. Sweet!

  186. 186.

    bago

    Cats. They’ll fuck with ya, because they can. In their defense, can you think of a better reason?

  187. 187.

    Annie

    Poor Tunch. Probably ran into some tea partiers while he was checking out the neighborhood. No wonder he is dirty and scared. Any idea how he might have gotten out?

    I assume it was Obama’s fault.

  188. 188.

    Steaming Pile

    @licensed to kill time: Cats always find the front porch. They know home is where the warm bed and the full food bowl are. Sometimes, they just want to pull an all-nighter. Our Natasha does that in the summer when the nights are warmer. Not so much now when it goes down to the 30s at night.

  189. 189.

    CircleSquared

    @eemom: I have attempted this on several occasions, but my own little Houdinis just blink at me. Occasionally, one of them has a guilty-looking wash.

    I’m glad Tunch is home again. I get a little wide-eyed myself when I look at what’s going on out there.

  191. 191.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN)

    How the hell is someone supposed to figure out which threads are live around here?

  192. 192.

    Steaming Pile

    @Bnut: Our oldest figured out the sliding screen door. On nice days, when we have the back door open, she just slides the screen door open and walks out to “her” patio.

  194. 194.

    Steeplejack

    @That’s Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN):

    Over on the right side of the page, under “Recent Posts,” “Recent Comments” at least shows you where the last five comments were made. That’s a pretty good indication of where to start. Then you can go to the individual threads, jump to the bottom and see when the last comment was made and how active they are.

    This from a perennial late-to-the-party reader.

  196. 196.

    Steeplejack

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Pretty good. Torn between getting to bed (relatively) early and watching the original Hunchback of Notre Dame (Lon Chaney, 1923) on TCM. I’ve got it on the TV in the background, but it will start to overrun the DVR’s one-hour buffer in about 10 minutes, so I need to decide, if I’m going to rewind it and watch it from the beginning. I’m thinking not, at this point. Just don’t have the mo’.

  199. 199.

    YellowJournalism

    Thank god I didn’t read the original message earlier. I have enough stress in my life without worrying about where Tunch was. We all love that cat.

    I wonder if Lily ghost-blogged as John for him while he was out. Welcome home, Tunch. Make sure you milk this for all the fish you can!

  200. 200.

    Cain

    John, glad you found Tunch. Mine has not come back yet, and it’s about a week now. :( I miss my kitty.. We’re still shedding tears..

    I went to the shelter the other day to let them know I lost my cat. Checked out the kitties there.. ugh. none of them compares. Sucks.

    cain

  201. 201.

    Mum

    @Scott:

    Wow! Harsh much?

    I’ve had cats and dogs and other creatures for all of my adult life, and have been a real stickler about keeping my cats indoors and having a fenced-in yard for my dogs. But I’ve had cats that have been curious about the great outdoors and escaped and dogs that have taken advantage of a momentarily opened gate to chase a squirrel. It happens. Your comments are not helpful.

  203. 203.

    Karen in GA

    Late to this, but so what.

    One of my four cats is an ex-stray who showed up at our back door one day all skinny, dirty, overheated and miserable, and decided to live with us. We got him checked, immunized and cleaned up, and he immediately took to being indoors-only, except for one time a couple of weeks after he moved in. He bolted past my husband, out the front door, and halfway down the driveway.

    My husband called after him, “You sure?”

    Ex-stray turned, looked at my husband for a second, and then walked back into the house. Hasn’t tried to get out since. Weird.

    I can’t imagine a scared Tunch. Poor thing. Spoil him rotten.

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