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You are here: Home / Now Here Are Two Thousand Words on the Shit I Found on the Bottom of My Shoe

Now Here Are Two Thousand Words on the Shit I Found on the Bottom of My Shoe

by John Cole|  October 19, 20104:55 pm| 58 Comments

This post is in: DC Press Corpse

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WILL OUR MEDIA MEMBERS PLEASE STOP ANALYZING SNOWBALL SNOOKI’S TWEETS IN EXCRUCIATING DETAIL?

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Previous Post: « Greg Sargent’s Primal Scream
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Reader Interactions

58Comments

  1. 1.

    GambitRF

    October 19, 2010 at 4:56 pm

    Especially since, you know, it’s not her writing them.

  2. 2.

    Cris

    October 19, 2010 at 4:58 pm

    In before Andrew Sullivan comparison

  3. 3.

    Rosalita

    October 19, 2010 at 4:58 pm

    you gonna tweet that question?

  4. 4.

    4tehlulz

    October 19, 2010 at 4:58 pm

    /CRUISE CONTROL

  5. 5.

    neill

    October 19, 2010 at 5:00 pm

    what’s the deal? i count only 13 words.

    besides, all them lower 48 look the same…

  6. 6.

    El Cid

    October 19, 2010 at 5:02 pm

    Is that a question about what the future holds, or a plea? If it’s the first, the answer is “no”.

  7. 7.

    chopper

    October 19, 2010 at 5:02 pm

    Putty. Putty. Putty.
    Green Putty – Grutty Peen.
    Grarmpitutty – Morning!
    Pridsummer – Grorning Utty!
    Discovery….. Oh.
    Putty?….. Armpit?
    Armpit….. Putty.
    Not even a particularly
    Nice shade of green.

  8. 8.

    freelancer

    October 19, 2010 at 5:03 pm

    Heh, I though this was about this week’s South Park.

    Snowball Snooki is perfect.

    “That Thing is FAMOUS?! WHY?!”

  9. 9.

    DougJ is the business and economics editor for Balloon Juice.

    October 19, 2010 at 5:04 pm

    I wanted to write about this one so that I could use the title “West Virginia, mountain mama”.

  10. 10.

    Hunter Gathers

    October 19, 2010 at 5:05 pm

    And ignore our future ruler? I think not. Besides, she’s the best thing this side of viagra that will get middle aged men to ‘stand at attention’. She will be the first POTUS to announce policy on Facebook. In between playing Mafia Wars and Farmville.

  11. 11.

    licensed to kill time

    October 19, 2010 at 5:05 pm

    I call them Palin Poots.

  12. 12.

    funluvn

    October 19, 2010 at 5:06 pm

    Princess Sparkle Pony really needs to hire a better ghost twitterer.

  13. 13.

    Lev

    October 19, 2010 at 5:07 pm

    Aside from ratings, why do they pay any attention to Palin at all? She’s not a very popular or a very influential politician. Most of her endorsees this year were sure things, and of the ones that weren’t, Karen Handel lost the nomination for Georgia Governor, Carly Fiorina is poised to lose the general election in CA that Tom Campbell probably could have won, Nikki Haley is only marginally ahead in SC, which is so far beneath covering the spread it’s embarrassing.

  14. 14.

    Violet

    October 19, 2010 at 5:09 pm

    Aside from ratings, why do they pay any attention to Palin at all?

    There is no “aside from ratings.”

  15. 15.

    Poopyman

    October 19, 2010 at 5:10 pm

    It’s not like our magnificent 4th estate has anything better to occupy their time with. Not like there’s an election coming, or a war going on, or something unsavory going on in the financial world.

    Now there’s a guy who works hard for his money. I’ll bet that’s making him rich.

  16. 16.

    chopper

    October 19, 2010 at 5:13 pm

    @Violet:

    this. it’s like ‘aside from the money, why do people rob banks?’

  17. 17.

    Poopyman

    October 19, 2010 at 5:13 pm

    Don’t they call those tweets “Palin drones”?

    Admittedly, I don’t tweet and don’t read them, but of all the people who’s ideas I might want to read, hers would not make it onto any list.

  18. 18.

    Omnes Omnibus

    October 19, 2010 at 5:14 pm

    @chopper: Thrills. Did you see Bonny and Clyde?

  19. 19.

    kdaug

    October 19, 2010 at 5:29 pm

    @Poopyman: Ouch.

  20. 20.

    Martin

    October 19, 2010 at 5:30 pm

    I like Snowbilly Snookie better.

  21. 21.

    J

    October 19, 2010 at 5:30 pm

    Snowball Snooki is the best. It needs a tag and an entry in the BJ Lexicon.

    EDIT — oh! Snowbilly Snooki FTW. Nice work Martin.

  22. 22.

    Ash Can

    October 19, 2010 at 5:31 pm

    Forget it, Jake. It’s Ambinder.

  23. 23.

    lamh32

    October 19, 2010 at 5:32 pm

    Oh lord, forgive me for the OT randomness, but I’ve begun to watch the 1st season of Wonder Woman on DVD, and I just gotta say this stuff is surreal!!!

    First of all, when we first see the “amazonians” on “Paradise Island” , Wonder Woman, and all the other women are wearing what appears to be lingerie!!!!

    Victor Newman (Eric Braeden) from Young & The Restless, played a Nazi pilot, and Cloris freakin’ Leachman played the Queen of Paradise Island and the mother of Wonder Woman!!!!

    And that is just in the first episode!!!

    I am literally watching this thinking, damn who else was in the series!!!

    The feminist in me is saying what the hell lingerie??? But then I see Lynda Carter’s “Wonder Woman” carrying “Major Steve…” in her arms like he’s just a pillow.

    Also, it’s an island of women only!!!! And all the women are varied in ages, including young girls!!!! And yet, they never say how all these women just “came to be” without 1 man around, and apparently no male slaves!!! Pssshhh!

    Sorry, back to ya’ll regularly scheduled program!

  24. 24.

    stuckinred

    October 19, 2010 at 5:35 pm

    Giants up 2-0 in the 4th.

  25. 25.

    NonyNony

    October 19, 2010 at 5:37 pm

    Jesus Christ. Was that really a story about a story about a story about a brain fart made by a failed vice-presidential candiate? Or, more truthfully, a story about a story about a story about a brain fart made by the Personal Assistant (Tweeter) of a failed vice-presidential candiate?

    Excuse me while I go beat my head against a brick wall for a few hours. Maybe then reality will start making sense.

  26. 26.

    Cackalacka

    October 19, 2010 at 5:40 pm

    Dude, you should do what I’ve done for a while.

    It works. Go to blogs that have consistently provide meaningful information.

    Ignore the others (in this case, the entire Atlantic stable, except for Ta’Nesi.)

    Much better for your constitution.

  27. 27.

    BGinCHI

    October 19, 2010 at 5:41 pm

    My favorite in the comments below Ambinder’s post:

    “I’m thinking eggplant for dinner.”

    Exactly.

  28. 28.

    BGinCHI

    October 19, 2010 at 5:43 pm

    @Ash Can: Should be a tag.

  29. 29.

    Brick Oven Bill

    October 19, 2010 at 5:45 pm

    Sarah uses notecards and her hands. Barry uses teleprompters. Sarah tweets. Using Logic, we therefore conclude that Sarah is smarter than Barry, based on two observations:

    1. It is impossible to give an entire speech while staring at your hand, without people starting to think that you are dim.
    2. Barry does not tweet.

    Here is the score: Sarah IQ=107; Barry IQ=102.

  30. 30.

    Martin

    October 19, 2010 at 5:46 pm

    @J: Not my idea. Arguingwithsignposts in the comments the other day tossed it out there.

    If I was rich I’d happily have stolen his (her? [shrug]) productivity, promoted it as an example of my exceptional talents, and the complained that I wasn’t being properly compensated every time someone quoted me.

    But I’m not like that.

  31. 31.

    BGinCHI

    October 19, 2010 at 5:46 pm

    @Brick Oven Bill: Bill, does your sweater vest have a pattern or do you go with the solids?

  32. 32.

    Ash Can

    October 19, 2010 at 5:49 pm

    @stuckinred: Is Fox Sports incapable of broadcasting across the continental divide, or is my fucked-up reception due entirely to the lovely and talented Comfuckingcast service we have in my neck of the woods?

    /grouchy

  33. 33.

    freelancer

    October 19, 2010 at 5:50 pm

    @Brick Oven Bill:

    Boom. Roasted.

  34. 34.

    Ash Can

    October 19, 2010 at 5:51 pm

    I believe I am getting fucked up from the fumes emanating from BoB’s comment. Don’t let anyone tell you that second-hand smoke is a myth.

  35. 35.

    Martin

    October 19, 2010 at 5:52 pm

    @lamh32:

    The feminist in me is saying what the hell lingerie???

    Yeah, TV was awesome back then wasn’t it?

  36. 36.

    SteveinSC

    October 19, 2010 at 5:54 pm

    Hmm, snowballing snooki, now there’s a thought.

  37. 37.

    lamh32

    October 19, 2010 at 5:55 pm

    *

    Military, momentarily, open to gays

    The ban on gays in the military seems to be in about as good shape as campaign finance law:

    The Pentagon has advised recruiting commands that they can accept openly gay and lesbian recruit candidates, given the recent federal court decision that bars the military from expelling openly gay service members, according to a Pentagon spokeswoman.

    The guidance from the Personnel and Readiness office was sent to recruiting commands on Friday, according to spokeswoman Cynthia Smith.

    The recruiters were told that if a candidate admits he or she is openly gay and qualifies under normal recruiting guidelines, the application can be processed. Recruiters are not allowed to ask candidates if they are gay as part of the application process.

    The notice also reminded recruiters that they have to “manage expectations” of applicants by informing them that a reversal of the court decision might occur, whereby the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy could be reinstated, Smith said.

    UPDATE: Lt. Dan Choi says he’s going to re-enlist. This could get complicated

  38. 38.

    Ash Can

    October 19, 2010 at 5:58 pm

    @lamh32: I love the smell of fait-accompli in the morning.

  39. 39.

    lamh32

    October 19, 2010 at 5:58 pm

    Here’s an update about that article I posted in comments yesterday:

    Univision shuts down ‘Don’t Vote’ ad

    “The Spanish-language network Univision has refused to air an ad from a GOP-led Hispanic group telling Hispanic voters to sit out the race between Sharron Angle and Harry Reid.

    “Univision will not be running any spots from Latinos for Reform related to voting,” said a spokeswoman for the network, Monica Talan, in an email. “Univision prides itself on promoting civic engagement and our extensive national campaigns encourage Hispanics to vote.”

    The network also distanced itself from Robert de Posada, who had sought to air the ad, and has been a conservative commentator on the channel…”

  40. 40.

    Dennis SGMM

    October 19, 2010 at 6:03 pm

    Who in hell is snooki?

  41. 41.

    TooManyJens

    October 19, 2010 at 6:05 pm

    @Dennis SGMM: Embrace your unawareness. Cherish it.

  42. 42.

    lamh32

    October 19, 2010 at 6:05 pm

    @Martin:

    and yet, I’m still watching it as we speak. Cause even though she was wearing a bathing suit, and high heels, Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman KICKED ASS!!!!

    It’s explains why Wonder Woman is one of the few superheroes who crossed colorlines in terms of fans. Cause she was kick ass and takes names, and she dare I say it, she was beautiful while doing it!!!

    Plus, damn it if WW was more suffragette than most women at that time.

    BTW, ya gotta love the slow mo’ turn that she does when she change, just enough hair tossing, for the dudes to get their jollies!!!

    Oh, and good Lord, the character “Major Steve” was not a very good soldier. WW spent most of the time saving him!

  43. 43.

    Cat Lady

    October 19, 2010 at 6:12 pm

    Shouldn’t Sully acknowledge that Snooki the Quitta is one of his “successful” betters now? Perhaps now he can tell us how he intends to demonstrate that he has internalized the fact that she has beaten him at his own game by gaming the media, since it’s crucial to civil society, and all.

  44. 44.

    Cris

    October 19, 2010 at 6:14 pm

    @lamh32: It’s explains why Wonder Woman is one of the few superheroes who crossed colorlines in terms of fans. Cause she was kick ass and takes names, and she dare I say it, she was beautiful while doing it

    On that note, how did Xena do with the color line?

  45. 45.

    tomvox1

    October 19, 2010 at 6:15 pm

    Ambers:

    Palin might not able to BS her way through an Ivy League seminar like everyone here at The Atlantic can, she’s not very good when interviewers aren’t friendly, she is careless and inattentive to detail, but stupid she isn’t — she’s not stupid. She knows how to manipulate the media.

    Fixed that for you, Mark. Don’t flatter yourself that only smart people can manipulate today’s lame ass media. The supidest president in modern history had his way with you clowns for 8 fucking years like he put roofies in your collective Cosmopolitans. And yes, I’m most definitely looking at you, Mr. Who Could’ve Guessed We Were Being Manipulated?

  46. 46.

    Dennis SGMM

    October 19, 2010 at 6:17 pm

    @TooManyJens:
    Okay. I stopped watching TV, other than the occasional old movie on TCM, a couple of years ago so much of this stuff is opaque to me.

  47. 47.

    WereBear

    October 19, 2010 at 6:47 pm

    @lamh32: You might be interested in the background of Wonder Woman’s creator; he lived in a threesome for many years.

    Let’s just say a lot of his inspiration was modeled from life.

  48. 48.

    PurpleGirl

    October 19, 2010 at 6:51 pm

    @Ash Can: Fox and Comcast are fighting a raising the fees war. Fox has cut off Comcast from getting service.

  49. 49.

    chopper

    October 19, 2010 at 6:57 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    wasn’t that that video of a banjo soundtrack with crazy people driving in the background? that was the coolest video ever.

  50. 50.

    arguingwithsignposts

    October 19, 2010 at 7:08 pm

    @Martin:
    To clarify, I didn’t come up with snowbilly snooki either. I saw it on TBogg or Rumproast or somewhere before.

  51. 51.

    lamh32

    October 19, 2010 at 7:18 pm

    @Cris:

    Honestly, the few black females I knew who were fans of Xena, were mostly lesbians. I’m not stereotyping either. At least 2 of my friends loved Xena, they even wrote and read fan fiction! Xena had a large lesbian following towards the end of the run.

    Wonder Woman was just a different beast. Maybe it was the underoos, I don’t know.

    But if you don’t believe me, take an informal survey of women and whether or not they liked Wonder Woman!
    Try to cross colorlines if you can…LOL

  52. 52.

    lamh32

    October 19, 2010 at 7:22 pm

    @WereBear:

    Now that was interesting!

  53. 53.

    WereBear

    October 19, 2010 at 7:25 pm

    @lamh32: Not that there’s anything wrong with that. :)

  54. 54.

    xochi

    October 19, 2010 at 7:37 pm

    Every post that mentions Lady Moosedresser (or whatever variation you deem appropriate) is catnip for Lady Moosedresser. She is a living exemplar of the adage that there is no such thing as bad publicity.

  55. 55.

    lamh32

    October 19, 2010 at 7:51 pm

    @WereBear:

    Nothing at all!!!

    BTW, even my lesbian fans love Wonder Woman too. So looks like WW corsses sexual line too…lol!

  56. 56.

    rikyrah

    October 19, 2010 at 10:10 pm

    Cris

    I loved Xena

  57. 57.

    Luthe

    October 19, 2010 at 11:14 pm

    @Martin:

    Arguingwithsignposts in the comments the other day tossed it out there.

    You sure about that?

  58. 58.

    DC10

    October 20, 2010 at 2:11 am

    “Snowblowing Snookie” also fits her on several levels.

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