The Washington Post has a long article up about “Gauging the scope of the tea party movement in America” — or, as the front page of the website headlined it, “Tea party’s wide publicity belies its limited scope“. As a companion piece, Bill Donahue wrote about his “Tea Party Road Trip” with a group of Ohioans bound for Glenn Beck’s 9/12 rally:
As we drove around Dayton gathering provisions, Henthorn said he has guided four citizens groups to Washington for rallies. “A lot of these people,” he said, “have never been to Washington before. I teach them a little bit about riding the Metro, about how to stay safe. They’re apprehensive about who they’re going to encounter — the SEIU [Service Employees International Union], the Black Panthers or what have you. I’ve encountered those people before. To me, it’s no big deal. I’ve lived in 11 foreign countries. Islamic extremists killed one of my deputies at his desk in Istanbul. I’ve had a bounty on my own head. I know what it’s like to be a hunted man.”
__
Henthorn spent most of his career in the Air Force’s “services” division. He ran mess halls, golf courses and gyms, and administrated over winding roads past bunkers and airstrips. He learned to focus on the safety and well-being of others. When we came across a motorcyclist wearing a flimsy T-shirt, Henthorn was disapproving. “I’ve scraped enough accidents off the highway to know that that guy ought to be wearing leather,” he said.
__
By his own reckoning, Henthorn is a “born leader.” On the bus, he announces, “I am running for U.S. Senate in 2012.”
__
There is a joyous burst of applause. People holler “Oh, yes!” and “Yee ha!” Then Henthorn continues. “And you may or may not think I’m crazy,” he says, “but five months ago, I got woken up in the middle of the night. The good Lord woke me up when I was sound asleep, folks, and he said, ‘You’re running for office.’ And I said no, and he said yes. We argued for three weeks, folks. Then I said, ‘Okay, I’ll run for township.’ And then we had another two-week fight, over what I was gonna run for. And, finally, we were up to senator or president.”
__
There’s a soft awestruck murmur from the back of the bus: “Wow!”
kimp
Oh. My. God.
El Cid
The Father, Son, and Glenn Beck.
bkny
did you know ‘teatards’ is blocked as offensive in wapo comments. however, ‘te@t@rds’ is not … ;-)
calling all toasters
Ten-to-one this guy wears women’s underwear.
joe from Lowell
Let me guess – God wants everyone on that bus to give Donahue money, too.
Omnes Omnibus
Oh, yeah. A born leader. I suspect he is the kind of leader whose men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
valdivia
@kimp:
beat me to it. really nothing else to say.
morzer
As Juvenal said:
“Just the sort of rare mind a god would want to talk to at midnight”.
Roger Moore
@joe from Lowell:
What gave it away?
lacp
His retelling of his military heroics reminds me of a character in Sexual Perversity in Chicago: “I’m a meteorologist for TWA, and I put my life on the line every day!”
gbear
I’m glad that got printed in the WaPo.
Aren’t there medications for episodes like this?
Roger Moore
I wonder, though. Was the God who talked to him normal sized, or was it a 900 foot tall Jesus?
Omnes Omnibus
@morzer: Are you a classicist by any chance?
morzer
@Roger Moore:
I suspect it was a pudgy little dry drunk with glasses and a chalkboard.
morzer
@Omnes Omnibus:
I was, back in the day, and retain a great love of classical literature. Juvenal would have had a field day with the modern US.
me
FYI, the Bill Donahue who wrote this article isn’t Bill “Asshole” Donohue.
gbear
what have you = black people in general.
MikeJ
@Roger Moore: If he only had a brain…
The next to last samurai
I live in a suburb of dayton. On halloween i will be an seiu member and scare all the teabaggers.
Mnemosyne
@morzer:
There’s a reason why the Greeks (and, I assume, Romans) had a view of the gods where they were constantly screwing with people’s heads for the fun of it. What else is a god supposed to do when he has insomnia?
Origuy
@me:
You mean there are two of them?
JasonF
I love the image of scared tea partiers in Missouri or Ohio or wherever, scared to go to Washington for fear of the roving gangs of Black Panthers and SEIU workers.
By the way, when did the SEIU become the boogie man for the right? It used to be Teamsters, and that made some weird sort of sense — teamsters are truck drivers, and truck drivers tend to be tough guys (at least according to the stereotype). But the SEIU represents nurses, janitors, and bureaucrats. How is that scary? Is it simply that the SEIU represents government employees, and therefore must be evil?
morzer
@JasonF:
Well, you know those nurses, always trying to get the gubmint into your Medicare….
gbear
@Roger Moore: It was obviously the ghost of Touchdown Jesus. Going for the three-pointer just isn’t good enough.
Davis X. Machina
@Origuy: The Official Chief Head Catholic of America, or some such, rejoices in the same name — and probably hears the same voices, come to that….
morzer
@Mnemosyne:
Juvenal was as Roman as they come, so you are entirely correct.
MeDrewNotYou
@calling all toasters: Its a comfort issue!
I loved this bit:
That’s strangely adorable in a really pitiful way.
joe from Lowell
@MikeJ:
Wearing a shirt that says “I’m with Stupid.”
morzer
@gbear:
From a Dolphins perspective, this makes Dave Wannstedt the Antichrist. Such a conclusion is troubling, because it leaves Nick Saban without his proper place in the anti-pantheon.
Roger Moore
Just because nobody else has mentioned it, I think this is a great example of a double standard in this country. If Mr. Henthorn had told a random group of people that he heard a random voice in the middle of the night telling him he needed to run for Senate, at best he’d be laughed at, and more likely he’d be diagnosed as schizophrenic. But because he says the voice was God, people take him seriously and think running for Senate is a dandy idea.
valdivia
@JasonF:
yeah I bet they were all wearing Black Panther Garb scaring the jesus out of them!
sven
@gbear: I’d love to know what % came back believing they had seen Black Panthers.
morzer
@Roger Moore:
What happens if two people hear God telling them to run for the same Senate seat? Does one of them get burned as a witch?
geg6
@JasonF:
My guess it’s that SEIU has a disproportionate number of the blackety black black black among their membership. That makes them just like the Crips and Bloods in Teabagland.
Roger Moore
@JasonF:
When it became the successful, rapidly growing union in previously non-unionized areas. Teamsters may be personally scarier, but SEIU is scarier to USCoC types who want to treat workers like slaves. That SEIU is the current bogeyman tells you all about who is pushing the memes in today’s Republican party.
balconesfault
@gbear: win
The Grand Panjandrum
1. I was awakened in the middle of the night a few nights ago.
2. It was my stomach telling me I had eaten a very spicy
3. I didn’t answer my stomach
I am now left the troubling thought that it may have been a god telling me to run for Senate. Actually that may be good news. I have little desire to call Jim DeMint or former POW John McCain, “Esteemed Colleague.”
morzer
@The Grand Panjandrum:
Just imagine praying with them to the voices they hear in their heads!
BGinCHI
You know why these morans are so scared of unions?
Because they aren’t in a union and they are so shit scared all the time at their lousy jobs that they either feel resentful, or that a union is magic, or both.
Every day this country doesn’t come to a grinding halt is a miracle to me.
EIGRP
How does he know it was God and not Satan?
Wow indeed.
Eric
Roger Moore
@morzer:
That’s just proof that God wants there to be a competitive race. Notice that he isn’t telling the
rubesaudience that God has chosen him to be the next Senator, just to run for Senate. That leaves plenty of excuses if he isn’t elected. Maybe God wanted him to run because it would help him grow personally, or to get the Good Word out to the world. Maybe Satan was backing his competitor, or his supporters just didn’tdonate enough moneypray hard enough. There are lots of reasons God might tell him to run that don’t result in him winning the race.Greenhouse Guy
medicinal weed for everyone, stat! Especially this Henthorn fucko.
ETA: I’m good now :}
Anya
Since we have a representative democracy, maybe it’s about time that voice hearers have a representation in Congress.
morzer
@Roger Moore:
You mean an all-knowing God might.. gasp, clutches smelling salts.. hedge his bets?
Woodrowfan
I am originally from Dayton, and it’s a very southern city in some respects. Not Georgia/Mississippi moonlight and magnolias south, but Kentucky/Tennessee hardscrabble dirtpoor south. The joke when I was growing up was “What is a Daytonian? A [Kentuckian] who ran out of gas on his way to Detroit. ” Every Sunday evening you’d see the “Ohio Navy,” small fishing and recreational boats on trailers, heading north on I-75, going back home after a weekend visiting the folks and going boating in Kentucky.
Montgomery Country though was always very Democratic, partly due to the black population, and partly due to the union members at the local GM plants. But GM has abandoned the plants there, and NCR is long gone.
Jewish Steel
Funny, there was a little awestruck murmur on my end too.
I wish I could’ve taken more Latin in college. It was asskickingly time consuming but so much fun.
morzer
@Anya:
Our text today is from the Book of Hruska, chapter 1, beginning at the second verse:
“There are a lot of mediocre judges and people and lawyers. They are entitled to a little representation, aren’t they, and a little chance?”
GregB
SEIU, Al Qaeda…they’ll both hunt down tea-baggers in DC and kill them in their lawn chairs. Unless God puts a stop to it.
morzer
@Jewish Steel:
You could try the Reading Latin books by Peter V. Jones and Keith C.Sidwell. The format is pretty friendly, and it emphasizes reading authentic and fun stuff as soon as possible. They even have an independent study guide.
kdaug
What if he loses? Did he get punk’d by God?
Then what, he’s all “Screw you God, I wasted all my money and people just laughed at me!”? And then, does he go to hell because he hates God now?
Cheryl from Maryland
Thanks to this article, as a Metro commuter, I now know I am a member of the radical fringe.
dmsilev
I can relate. The last time I rode the Washington Metro, I made sure to send in a commando team ahead of me to do a preliminary sweep, and then had a pair of snipers to provide top cover and a helicopter gunship for backup. The latter proved less than useful in the tunnels, but the snipers were certainly handy in helping me get a seat.
dms
morzer
Speaking as a radical fringe to the radical fringe, are we going to get an NFL open thread today? The fate of the nation is all very well, but there are more serious issues to discuss, chiefly the impending annihilation of the Pittsburgh Thingummies by the virtuous and clean-living Miami Dolphins.
J. Michael Neal
@The Grand Panjandrum:
Practice saying it with a sarcastic tone of voice.
Roger Moore
@morzer:
Yes. Read the Bible some time. It’s full of people ignoring what God says. His chosen instruments run the other way when they hear the call, or they hem and haw about not being worthy enough or capable enough. God is quite used to being ignored, which is why so many of his commands are followed up with big nasty threats of all the things he’ll do to people who don’t follow them.
morzer
@dmsilev:
Well, I had David Petraeus coordinating strategy when I made a play for a seat. You have no idea how expensive it is to buy off the local sheiks and then declare victory.
Shalimar
I may be crazy myself, but I’m still sane enough that the first thing I would say if God did the same to me is “Yes, your majesty; which office am I running for?” What does it say about all the people on the bus that he admits not only talking to God but getting in a weeks-long argument with God, yet they don’t realize the guy is nuts? You have to give tea party leaders credit, they have latched on to the most gullible of suckers imaginable.
chopper
@MeDrewNotYou:
yeah, i love how he makes it out like DC is like iraq or something.
i just can’t get over how stupid these morons are. why are they openly taking buses to DC? isn’t there some sort of underground railroad for wingnut patriots that can get them to the hilton under cover of night so they don’t have to chance being seen by a black or a gay or a gay black that when he coughs he shoots gay at you?
morzer
@Roger Moore:
Roger, surely you know that real Murikan Christians don’t read the Bible. The Book of LaHaye or James Dobson’s Joy of Spanking is much more inspiring.
Davis X. Machina
@morzer: The Jones and Sidwell text is good. Keller and Russel’s Learn to Read Latin (Yale U.P.) is also worth a look-see if you’re so inclined….
chopper
@Roger Moore:
exactly. all god’s big chosen leaders are guys who want to avoid doing shit at all costs and when they realize they’re stuck with the job they bitch the whole time.
that’s why it’s my firm belief that the next great prophet will be a hipster, or possibly a hippie. i’ve been combing around williamsburg looking for the next moses.
BGinCHI
@Shalimar: Exactly. If you have a God that can’t just make you a Senator, you need to start God shopping.
I’m guessing the teatards think “omnipotent” is what you take Vi*gra for.
morzer
@Davis X. Machina:
I don’t know Keller and Russel, so I would be interested to know whether it would work for someone self-teaching. I have taught and tutored a variety of Latin courses, but not that one.
Roger Moore
Anyone want to bet that a thorough check of his service records would show that he was rarely outside the US, was never stationed in Turkey, and is generally making this shit up out of whole cloth? This guy sounds like another Right Wing bullshitter, making up cool sounding stories to impress the rubes.
Cermet
Let me get this right – this coward asswipe who licked assholes in the Air Force yet thinks he was some type of front line combat warrior (rather than wingbat that he is) has God talking to him and he argued with God?! This asswipe believes in the all powerful being that create the world and all else, and he argues with this all knowing, all powerful deity? Right … what a lying total looser. This loon thinks he is Jonah – that is how the elite that this stupid media gives 24/7 air time as the country slower sinks from the bush tax cuts to the wealthy.
Jewish Steel
@morzer: Awesome. Added to my amazon wish list. Maybe some generous family member will want to contribute to my level of erudition. I’m this close to insufferable. (Jk. I’m already insufferable) Thanks!
@Roger Moore: What you say is truer than you know. My gf’s brother is indeed schizophrenic and has fallen in with fundies a couple of times. Just this weekend a family member reported back a facebook exchange between the brother and a new christian pal. It’s alarming, funny and sad all at once. At first you might think that they are talking past each other but upon reflection, I think they are actually coming from the same head-space, if you follow me.
Citizen_X
@Roger Moore: Seriously. He was in charge of DVD rental kiosks and tennis courts on Air Force bases, and he has a price on his head? And one of his corporals got assassinated at his desk? Suurre. Sounds like a born leader, all right.
morzer
@Jewish Steel:
You might try the local library, and see if they can get you the books to look over, perhaps through interlibrary loan? You would need both the Text volume and the Grammar, Vocabulary and Exercises volume.
http://www.amazon.com/Reading-Latin-Peter-V-Jones/dp/0521286239/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1287936800&sr=1-1
http://www.amazon.com/Reading-Latin-Grammar-Vocabulary-Exercises/dp/0521286220/ref=pd_bxgy_b_text_b
kdaug
@Citizen_X: He did have a price on his head, but that’s because he was unclear on how to use the price gun…
morzer
@Citizen_X:
Well, someone has to hold the loofah for Field Marshal Bill O’Reilly…
Davis X. Machina
@morzer:I’ve had some success with it in a semi-home-school environment (G&T HS kid, a parent with a good command, and formal instruction in, a second language, but not Latin, myself as floater-fixer-guru.)
Wheelock’s still the default non/above HS textbook, but I think it’s run its race…
morzer
@Davis X. Machina:
Moreland and Fleischer seems to be a mainstream choice in college-level Latin classes, but it is a terribly dull book. Wheelock is generally regarded as the Latin text of a generation ago in college Latin, but I don’t see much wrong with it, frankly.
different church-lady
Wait… the tea partiers are just a bunch of people blowing off steam in rec halls? HOOCOODANODE?
Jewish Steel
@morzer: Ah, cool. You know, last week you unlocked the secret of watching sports online for me. Most of the baseball feeds are in Spanish which once, when I was a farmhand, I was a few steps below fluent but climbing. The context and clichés of a baseball game are so universal that watching the playoffs has unlocked a lot of that Spanish. Come to think of it, that would be a painless way of learning any language. Hmm.
What I’m saying is that you are teaching foreign languages, to me at least, without even knowing it.
Edit: Wheelock! Yes, that was my textbook all those years ago.
Gravenstone
Saw this little tidbit on another site earlier today.
Yeah, they’re a sad sad little bunch of racists in today’s Republican party, aren’t they.
Seriously, if unions had even a percentage of the power these clowns like to ascribe to them, we’d be seeing what’s happening in France today – widespread strikes and open defiance of the existing government power structure.
JenJen
@JasonF:
I do too! It’s a lot like those blog posts right before the Becktard March telling visitors DO NOT TAKE THE YELLOW LINE OR YOU WILL DIE, or something to that effect.
It just cracks me up.
New Yorker
Someone needs to direct a “City of God” type movie about the horrors of being a teabagger in DC for the weekend.
max
Man. I with everybody else. The idea of the teabaggers running around DC frightened of meeting union members is pretty priceless.
But you left out this precious bit:
Remember kids, it’s OK if you call the President ‘Obama’ because he’s black and probably an SEIU member, but you must be polite and respectful to Mrs. Palin.
max
[‘And then there’s the guy who wanted the nuclear strike on some Muslim, somewhere.’]
Annie
In addition to hearing voices in the middle of the night, I think he fabricated the Istanbul story. Probably figures that those on the bus won’t know that Istanbul is in Turkey, not Pakistan or Afganistan.
His first senate add will say “I am not crazy. I also don’t know geography. And, I, too, fear black people and Muslims, or black Muslims. I am you.”
Martin
Wow, they really live in their own little world, don’t they? SEIU and the Black Panthers in DC?
They’re going to DC and they’re worried about a bunch of nurses and two black guys that actually care about voting?
JenJen
@max: Jesus Christo!
Listening to GOPers talk tough like that Henthorn fella and his imaginary bounty on his head, or this Unroe guy with his “rough-streets kind of instinct” cracks me the hell up. Oh, yes, the rough streets of the Cincinnati suburbs!! Scary.
Bubblegum Tate
I enjoyed this little tidbit:
Yes. Broken escalators are a deliberate attempt to keep teabaggers from teabagging. Imagine if elevators had been broken–how would teabaggers get their Medicare-supplied Rascals up to street level in order to protest government spending?
ppcli
@kdaug: You got it. He was trying to put a price tag on some Bounty paper towels. But there was no room on the shelf so to steady them he balanced them on his head. Then he pointed the price gun and missed. Price on his head and a Bounty on his head. That’s one hunted man.
Mike G
What miserable, narrow little lives these people must have, pissing their pants at the thought of riding public transportation in the national capital. All led around by a blowhard lifetime government employee who hates the government and talks to voices in his head.
They idolize the uniting of capital into corporations but fear and hate any similar uniting of labor into unions. Maybe if unions played idiotic happy-plastic commercials on TV during Dancing With the Stars they’d love them too.
JasonF
@Bubblegum Tate: Please tell me the next sentence of that article is Paul Weaver complaining about the government wasting money on infrastructure spending.
JGabriel
Bill Donahue:
Yikes! Was anyone else reminded of the “Production for Use” scene in His Girl Friday (about the 33 minute mark)?
.
chopper
@Bubblegum Tate:
jesus, half the escalators in the metro are broken on a daily basis. these guys are nuts.
i’m sure if they saw a few of DCs notorious cat-sized black rats they’d think the scheming liberals imported them just to fuck with the teabagger rally.
Kyle
@max:
All teabagger protest signs, of course, refer respectfully to Obama as “Mr. President”. Especially the ones showing him as a witch doctor or with a Hitler mustache. Fuxing hypocrites.
gnomedad
This isn’t an argument; it’s just contradiction!
chopper
@gnomedad:
he could be arguing in his spare time.
dj spellchecka
charlie h crist on a crutch! whenever i hear someone say “god spoke to me” i start backing away slowly…but ARGUING? for THREE WEEKS? “wow!” indeedy
ps
for some reason this article made me think of the musical “Your Arms Too Short To Box With God.”
Svensker
@morzer:
I love the word “thingummies” but I don’t ever want to know how it’s supposed to be pronounced because it won’t be like I pronounce it in my head when reading (in the imagined plummy accents of either Wooster or Wimsey, usually).
Dee Loralei
So God talks to him, “well at least he’s got that going for him.”
I can’t believe 91 comments in and no one quoted that line. Sheesh people.
Unless I’ve got totally the wrong Carl, which is quite possible.
colleeniem
@Jewish Steel: There is an amazing talk by Prof. Sapolsky at this link: http://vodpod.com/watch/1729475-sapolsky-on-religion-via-boing-boing
discussing that very relationship. It is very much worth your time to listen to the lecture. Oh, and his book, a Primate’s Memior is fantastic as well.
licensed to kill time
God said to Carl ‘run for senator, son’
Carl said ‘man, you must be putting me on’
God said ‘no’ … Carl said ‘what? ‘
God said ‘you can do what you want Carl, but
the next time you see me coming you better run’
Carl said ‘where’d you want this running done? ‘
God said ‘out on Metro 61’
Wile E. Quixote
@JenJen:
And then there’s Dale “Parking would be difficult, staying alive even harder” Robertson..
Wile E. Quixote
@JGabriel:
Sounds to me like a guy who has a problem with another tool entirely.
Wile E. Quixote
Henthorn did have a bounty on his head. He just neglected to mention that his own troops put it there.
BDeevDad
Talk about living in a paranoid delusion
Woodrowfan
oh dear God, it’s become STAIRS!! Oh THE HUMANITY!!!!
lumpenprole
“Wow!”
I would have said that too, but meant something different by it.
huckabeeotch
@morzer:
Know any good self-study books for Greek?
b-psycho
If The Voice of God spoke to Christine O’Donnell one night, telling her not only to masturbate, but to do so in public, ya think she’d do it?
nanute
@BGinCHI: Well yes. They spell it ominpotent
Jay C
“…I know what it’s like to be a hunted man.”
Yeah, those debt-collectors can be mighty persistent……
Roger Moore
@nanute:
Are you sure they don’t spell it “onanpotent”?
Davis X. Machina
@Jewish Steel: It’s a shame it was in the Torygraph, but Peter V. Jones actually taught a sort-of Latin class in the form of a series of about 30 op-eds in the ’90’s, IIRC, and talked the London paper into paying somebody to grade homework that got sent in. They even had little certificates for those who completed the
ordealprocess.The columns have been collected, and published as a book. It’s not a great text for self-teachers, but it’s a lot more fun than a straight textbook.
One of my favorite language books, About Chinese, by Richard Newnham, (1971 or ’72, a Pelican), is similar in spirit. Sort of a Lonely Planet guide to a language instead of a place, rather than a textbook…
Roy G
I heart the reporter’s sly sense of humor; this wtf? line slips through seamlessly:
Most of the bus riders I meet readily volunteer that they are, like Glenn Beck, devout Christians.
‘Professor’ Beck evidently hasn’t laid the secret history of Jesus’ visit to America on his followers.
Nutella
I’ve never been apprehensive about meeting a service employee with a union card. It must be different for those tough, take-our-country-back Tea Partiers.
aimai
I just have to say I’m loving this thread. Every comment on it is pure gold. Also, my daughter is in the next room reciting her latin (Wheelock?) out loud. That’s the way they do it these days.
I think the SEIU thing is, like the ACORN thing, and the illuminati just another typical conspiracy theory part of right wing propaganda. Something has only to appear in the papers or on tv a few times to be seamlessly absorbed into the overall narrative. It also reminds me of Bob Altemeyer’s work with authoritarian personalities. You’d think that putting “nurses, janitors etc…” in as a qualifier for the name “SEIU” would instantly tip people off to the fact that “SEIU and the black panthers and things like that” is like saying “pine cones and man eating sharks and things like that…” but in working with very authoritarian personalities Altemeyer discovered that they very readily substituted obedience for thought.
The particular experiment I’m thinking of is the one where he asked people if they would be willing to spy on, attack, or even help execute people the police had defined as dangerous to society. Once he got their assent that they would do this to “terrorists” it turns out that a large number of those who are willing to do bad things to other people are also willing to do the same bad things to people belonging to groups, like “lutherans” or “members of the milk marketing board” which they themselves belong to. Be sure that some high proportion of the teabaggers are, themselves, members of the SEIU and are still readily willing to believe that it can be a shorthand for “totally evil and dangerous.”
aimai
Marc with a C
I happen to be a member of the SEIU (local 32 BJ) right there in Washington, D.C. At least, I was until I changed jobs. Big difference of course, though: I’m white.
As for the dude’s claim to have a “bounty” on his head and that a colleague of his was “killed at his desk by Muslim fundamentalists…”
The guy is 63. That means he was born in 1947. If he enlisted at age 17 (like he claims), and served 25 years, he served between 1964 and 1989, when he retired.
So yeah, while it’s entirely possible that his “colleague” was “killed at his desk in Istanbul,” I somehow doubt that if Al Qaeda keeps a list of people it wants dead, 21-year Air Force facilities administrator retirees are pretty far down. Who knows? Maybe one of those evil Black Panthers will cap him on the Mall and then turn in the bounty for a bag of chips and a warm coke.
Phoenician in a time of Romans
Load it, make sure the safety is off, and then use it as a hammer around the house?
specialed5000
Did this make anyone else think of the Golgafrinchans?
Chris
“we had another two-week fight, over what I was gonna run for. And, finally, we were up to senator or president.”
Wow, this guy’s a hard bargainer, making God challenge him for two weeks until he agrees to run for the U.S. Senate. If he’d held out for forty days, he could’ve run for Messiah.
Newsflash, wacko: Just because you hear a voice in your head doesn’t mean it’s God. Sometimes you might think it sounds like God, but it’s really your brain saying, “Help! Go back on our meds!”
(side note: Do any of these dipshits ever hear the voice of God and say, “Oh, I guess I was wrong about something”? No; there’s a reason for that.)
sirpointyhead
@huckabeeotch:
This was my college Ancient Greek textbook. It’s actually useful and contains tons of readings, not just piles of vocabulary and grammer paradigms.
bago
“An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You would never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.”
Go Mitch Hedberg.
robuzo
I wonder if God brought up the leviathan at any point. He ALWAYS fucking resorts to that, as if making whales and hippos gives Him the right to tell me what to do.
Kyle
Funny how God is always telling these guys how great they are and to pursue goals that will bring them fame and personal benefit.
“Then God told me I was a douchebag and a moron, and ordered me to go home and read the Bible until I worked out that Jesus wasn’t a Republican.”
Cain
@bkny:
Just call em “Tea farts” instead. Noxious assholes. :)
cain
Don
They/you meant Green line. Yellow strolls down into Northern Virginia and ends in DC just above “Chinatown” which is extremely commercially gentrified.
While the Beckistanians may not want to come down into the section of Virginia that’s pretty firmly lefty I don’t think it’s as scary for them. It’s the green line that heads into Anacostia and where all those scary black people hang out.
It’s a very interesting experience to stand on the platform in a station like McPherson or Gallery Place/Chinatown and watch how different the passengers on the yellow line trains and the green line trains are (unless there’s a Nationals game). It really is like someone flipped the switch and reversed the colors.
I doubt anyone scared of folks with more melanin would accidentally step onto a green line train. Of course, if they’re afraid of broken escalators I don’t know how they get through a WMATA experience without thorazine.