Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Republicans want to make it harder to vote and easier for them to cheat.

This is dead girl, live boy, a goat, two wetsuits and a dildo territory.  oh, and pink furry handcuffs.

You cannot love your country only when you win.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

Innocent people do not delay justice.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

Republicans got rid of McCarthy. Democrats chose not to save him.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Giving in to doom is how we fail to fight for ourselves & one another.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

Disagreements are healthy; personal attacks are not.

Republicans in disarray!

Fight for a just cause, love your fellow man, live a good life.

“Perhaps I should have considered other options.” (head-desk)

When I was faster i was always behind.

It’s a good piece. click on over. but then come back!!

Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.

Hey hey, RFK, how many kids did you kill today?

“But what about the lurkers?”

I really should read my own blog.

If you thought you’d already seen people saying the stupidest things possible on the internet, prepare yourselves.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

Republicans don’t lie to be believed, they lie to be repeated.

You are here: Home / z-Retired Categories / Previous Site Maintenance / Open Thread

Open Thread

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This post is in: 

Couple site related things:

1.) New feed widget off to the right for the Balloon Juice Store.

2.) I’m basically going to be traveling for the next two- three weeks starting on Tuesday, so I’ve invited two folks to do a little blogging in my place. Tom Levenson and the Angry Black Lady will be making appearances. Normally I would say be nice to the new people, but Angry Black Lady will cut you if you aren’t nice to her, so that problem takes care of itself.

3.) Site re-design hopefully in the next couple of weeks.

I’m off to watch some old episodes of Psych and have a couple fingers of Scotch.

Reader Interactions

115Comments

  1. 1.

    General Stuck

    Site re-design hopefully in the next couple of weeks.

    two weeks. Money Pit

    edit – and the election is in a week, so that means the pro left will be planning an all out assault on the Obots with their grubby little pinkies pointing , we told you so.

    I’m staying out of it, and if the blog is smoldering ruins when you get back, I will be innocent. or at least not guilty.

  5. 5.

    Jade Jordan

    a couple fingers of Scotch.

    The fingers in John’s case are the size of the big sponge fingers at sporting events. We are number 1!

  9. 9.

    arguingwithsignposts

    Is Tom L. bringing his art collection? I like that about his blog posts. Looking forward to the ABL too.

    And again, requests for site design: iPhone plug-in for formatting and a subscribe to comments feature.

    ETA: voted today. straight ticket Dem except local races where there were no Dem candidates. I never really liked straight-ticket voting, but I’ll be damned if I’m giving a GOPer my vote until they get their shit straightened out, if ever.

  11. 11.

    Loneoak

    While you are redesigning the site, can you please eliminate all ads that are offensive to me?

  12. 12.

    Bnut

    Ever want some cheese, so you get the block out of the fridge, but you can’t find a good knife, so you say, fuck it, and just take a bite? All of sudden you realize what you have done, and someone will see the obvious teeth marks and oval shape missing. Panic ensues, you spend 10 minutes finding a a knife and washing it, and have to eat the scraps you cut off to hide your vandalism. Now having a simple bite of cheese was an ordeal. FML, I’m walking the dog.

  13. 13.

    Martin

    @Bnut:

    Ever want some cheese, so you get the block out of the fridge, but you can’t find a good knife, so you say, fuck it, and just take a bite?

    No. I was not raised by wolves.

  15. 15.

    John Bird

    @Martin:

    Oh come on, that really depends on the cheese.

    But the proper thing to do with that kind of cheese is to break it w/ your fingers and then you eat every last bite of it that you broke off before Gunter gets in from the fields and looks slightly above the place where the cheese once was, commenting on the poor weather and filling you with suicidal guilt.

  16. 16.

    stuckinred

    OK, so Ms Valle wore the wig as part of a costume schtick. She was trying to look like a corporate person. Que the O’Keefe comparison.

  18. 18.

    General Stuck

    No. I was not raised by wolves.

    I was. Thanksgiving dinners were the worst

    and the best

  19. 19.

    soonergrunt

    @TooManyJens:
    Being mean to people and viewing porn…
    I have four cores, eight gigs of memory, a 30″ screen, and a dual GPU graphics card.
    I can do both at the same time.

  20. 20.

    morzer

    @Martin:

    You did kind of sort of imply that he was raised by them though. And logically if people raised by wolves open refrigerators, that might suggest that wolves do so, and were, in fact, his teachers…..

  24. 24.

    Libby's Person

    For fellow dog people who need a warm, fuzzy moment in the midst of the crazy, take a look at a wonderful short video at http://www.sohfga.com/. A county jail in Lawrenceville, GA (not exactly where you would expect a program like this!) has started a “jail dog” program. Selected inmates, working with volunteer trainers, are working with dogs pulled from the county shelter’s “death row.” The dogs get socialization and basic training, and get adopted out to good homes. The inmates learn potentially marketable skills, and get all those amazing intangible benefits that dogs give by loving their people. A real ‘win-win’!

    It’s reassuring to see something good like this.

  25. 25.

    Libby's Person

    For fellow dog people who need a warm, fuzzy moment in the midst of the crazy, take a look at a wonderful short video at http://www.sohfga.com/. A county jail in Lawrenceville, GA (not exactly where you would expect a program like this!) has started a “jail dog” program. Selected inmates, working with volunteer trainers, are working with dogs pulled from the county shelter’s “death row.” The dogs get socialization and basic training, and get adopted out to good homes. The inmates learn potentially marketable skills, and get all those amazing intangible benefits that dogs give by loving their people. A real ‘win-win’!

    It’s reassuring to see something good like this.

  29. 29.

    Jewish Steel

    The Heat, I’m finding, can actually make me root for perpetually butt-hurt, pretend NBA tough-guys, the Celtics. I’m happy the NBA has an evil empire again.

  30. 30.

    Ash Can

    Tom Levenson and Angry Black Lady? Sweet! And you ain’t whistling dixie about ABL. If you find us all standing in the corner facing the wall when you get back, you’ll know what’s going on.

  31. 31.

    lacp

    The question has already been raised, and demands an answer: who is taking care of the non-humans in your household?

  32. 32.

    General Stuck

    @morzer:

    Wolves don’t have thumbs and few can afford refrigerators, so a learned skill like that is not operative. But a boy raised by wolves that one day stumbles across a teevee set, can learn all sorts of cool stuff.

    Now I’ve hurt my brain, and am galt.

  33. 33.

    jacy

    Tom Levenson and the Angry Black Lady will be making appearances.

    Wait, wait, which one of them is the “sane conservative”?

    Last time, all we got was somebody who pretended to be a conservative for a few weeks and then admitted to being a shameful librul after all.

  34. 34.

    D-Chance.

    I’m basically going to be traveling for the next two- three weeks starting on Tuesday,

    When in trouble, travel…

  37. 37.

    stuckinred

    JUNEAU, Alaska — Alaska Republican Senate hopeful Joe Miller admitted to improperly using three government computers over a lunch break to participate in a political poll, then cleaning the caches to try to cover up the activities.

    Miller’s admission is included in records released Tuesday under court order following an open records request by The Associated Press and other media organizations.

  38. 38.

    Martin

    @morzer: Perhaps he opened the refrigerator for the wolves, and they then taught him cheese-eating etiquette?

    Perhaps they ran as a pack across the French countryside, snatching cheese from picnickers and outdoor diners, and looting open-air coolers in the local markets?

  41. 41.

    eemom

    can’t wait till Phoenix Woman shows up on an ABL thread to lecture us about how awesome Mistress Jane is. Tee hee.

  42. 42.

    Omnes Omnibus

    Great choices as guest bloggers. I look forward to seeing what they do with the keys to the place.

    Ummm… Oh, yeah, we will miss your insights too.

  44. 44.

    morzer

    @Martin:

    Bnut ran across the French countryside assaulting surrender monkeys and rendering them non-cheese-eating?

    You know, we might just have a viable Teabagger Senate candidate on our hands.

  47. 47.

    Angry Black Lady

    @Martin: The extra angry has already been broughted!

    @General Stuck: I prefer Obombie to Obot; I like to feed on the brains of asshats and idiots!!

    BRAYNESSSSSS!!!!!!11

    (I will try to do Mr. Cole proud. I appreciate the opportunity to rile up the natives and it’s an honor, indeed!)

  49. 49.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Martin: I am sticking with my gibbon theme and suggesting that the gibbons opened the ‘fridge for the wolves in return for not being eaten.

  52. 52.

    WyldPirate

    @General Stuck:

    Wolves don’t have thumbs and few can afford refrigerators, so a learned skill like that is not operative. But a boy raised by wolves that one day stumbles across a teevee set, can learn all sorts of cool stuff.

    Hrrmph. Why would a wolf want to open a fridge when they can lick their own privates?

  53. 53.

    morzer

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Well, since ABL is preparing to slay and devour, I intend to find an empty refrigerator and a helpful, discreet gibbon, and wait until the screaming stops and it is safe to venture forth.

  55. 55.

    WyldPirate

    @morzer:

    The cheese in the fridge tastes better than the cheese on their….

    Not hating on your choice of entertainment, morzer, but how do you know this?

  57. 57.

    Gravenstone

    **blinks** Oh lord, I made the mistake of glancing at the comments on a Yahoo News story on the Great Midwest Windstorm. Ya know, something simple, something innocuous? The 2000+ post counter should have been my first clue, but the intensely stupid – it burns! I mean seriously, how the fuck to people get to political attacks on a story about the weather?

    Stuck at work (13 hours and counting), missed Olbermann – hoping to be home for the rebroadcast as I wanted to see Ms. Valle’s interview. Anyone who watched care to summarize?

  59. 59.

    morzer

    @Gravenstone:

    Weather – Weathermen-Bill Ayers-Obama-Health Care reform-Soc.ial.ism-tyranny-Hitler/Stalin/Roger Goodell.

    It all connects perfectly logically.

  60. 60.

    morzer

    @Gravenstone:

    Weather – Weathermen-Bill Ayers-Obama-Health Care reform-Soc.ial.ism-tyranny-Hitler/Stalin/Roger Goodell.

    It all connects perfectly logically.

  61. 61.

    WyldPirate

    @morzer:
    Well, hell. That makes perfect sense, then.

    I think the gibbons and the wolves should not be introduced, though. We don’t need cheese-eating wolves that can lick their privates, open the fridge and fling shit. ;)

  64. 64.

    Bnut

    To anyone who has never besmirched a virgin wedge of gouda’s good name with their teeth is either lying, or doesn’t know how to live.

  68. 68.

    Angry Black Lady

    @Gravenstone: Asshats: She started it and the dude stepped on her shoulder not her head; and, just like Rodney King, you have to look at the video from a different angle and then you’ll see it’s not really that bad; and anyway, she shouldn’t just leave her head unprotected on the curb for stomping like that because what is she an idiot?

    Valle: they stomped on my fucking head and it hurt.

  71. 71.

    Tom Levenson

    Me, it’s clear what my job is: stand back and hold ABL’s coat.

    And yup, I’ll bring the art collection along; I like the extra weird a little Hieronymous Bosch (et al.) lends to the day.

  75. 75.

    Maude

    @Ash Can:
    I think we will be having a lot of time outs.
    I hope ABL becomes a permanent fixture here. We can count on her Not starting a sentence with: I like Obama, but…

  77. 77.

    Ash Can

    @Tom Levenson: And if you happen to be looking for a Bosch painting to post here and can’t find it, just use a snapshot of the crowd at a Glenn Beck rally. No one will be able to tell the difference.

  78. 78.

    jacy

    @Tom Levenson:

    My mom was an art major, and I used to page through her books when I was a tot. I think Hieronymous Bosch scarred me for life. At least that seems like a good excuse.

    Looking forward to your contributions!

  82. 82.

    thomas Levenson

    @Ash Can: Heh indeedy.@jacy: Thanks.

    Oh — and one more thing. Given that I’m trying to make sure I don’t fumble too badly trying to fill John’s flip flops for a little while, I’ll do my best to emulate our host in all important ways.

    Translation: a couple of fingers of something liquid, distilled and brown for me too, just now.

  84. 84.

    morzer

    @thomas Levenson:

    If you do fumble, just make sure you have a couple of Pittsburgh umpires nearby. It seems to work for the Steelers.

    Also too – best not to mention John Cole’s “flip flops” too often round here. Five thousand apologies later and all that…

  86. 86.

    thomas Levenson

    @Angry Black Lady: Careful there. I’ve been known to take big sips when the whiskey is good enough…which should lead to a shout out.

    That is: I’m trying to decide if the next one should be Baker’s, the bourbon of choice around here these days, or some scotch, which these days is the last bits of the duty free bottle of Dalmore 15 I picked up a little while ago.

    The curse of options.

    (And yes, ABL, I’ll share.)

  87. 87.

    thomas Levenson

    @Omnes Omnibus: There are limits — but I’m not sure if naked mopping transcends them.

    @morzer: Steelers love — yup, there I do not follow John.

    Patriots fan here — and having grown up in Berkeley CA, I’ll confess to taking an enormous amount of pleasure at the Raiders’ hanging 59 on Denver.

    (ducks).

  90. 90.

    Tom Levenson

    @morzer: re flip flops — I meant zoris, man — truly the pun did not occur to me. Should have said shower slippers or something, though on reflection, I’m not sure that this is better.

    Memo to self — don’t dive to deep into the thread once the whiskey bottle passes this way x number of times.

  95. 95.

    morzer

    @jacy:

    I thought Tunch was the token sane conservative. He sits there looking wise and never says anything, so he fits nicely into the late period David Brooks slot. If John would only buy him a purple flea collar, the resemblance would be frightening.

  97. 97.

    RedKitten

    I like to feed on the brains of asshats and idiots!!

    Yeah, but that’s like filling up on those shrimp chips you get at Chinese restaurants. Sure, it’s fun to eat them, hear them crunch and feel them melt on your tongue, but deep down, you know that they’re nutritionally void due to being mostly air.

  98. 98.

    morzer

    @General Stuck:

    Your boy Peyton Hillis has been keeping me afloat in fantasy football. Admittedly, I am more clinging to the wreckage than making forward progress, but I am grateful.

  99. 99.

    General Stuck

    @morzer:

    The dude is like a bulldozer with a fast engine, and great hands to boot. I was largely impressed with the young QB MCcoy, and his poise for a 24 year old. He has some faint similarities to a Tom Brady, if I may be so bold.

  100. 100.

    thomas Levenson

    @General Stuck: Before last Sunday I would have said “my sympathies.”

    Now I can say Who Dat? Dat’s da Browns!
    @jacy: The problem is one has to meet two separate criteria. Can’t speak for ABL, but if ever I could lay claim to sanity, the slow climb of the last few years over the foothills of wingnut towards the ever-receding peak — that’s tending me towards barking mad.

    As for conservative? If you’re talking cocktails, sure — the wildest I go is a French 75. And I guess if you drink something named after an artillery piece that might get you some props from the armed and dangerous wing of US politics. But that’s about it.

    And with that, night all (+3)

  101. 101.

    morzer

    @General Stuck:

    I think Brady’s beginning to fade as a QB. Just my impression – but he doesn’t seem to have the control, or to put up the numbers he once did. He was lucky the Chargers destroyed themselves in the last game, because his offense really wasn’t that hot.

  103. 103.

    General Stuck

    @morzer:

    Qb’s take a beating, and some age pretty fast from it. But Brady was magic for several seasons when younger, though I wasn’t a Pats fan, I became one watching him and the Pats play, but not with the deep roots to childhood, like with cleveland.

  106. 106.

    Angry Black Lady

    I will, however, post pictures of my dog, Nate Dogg, aka Nathaniel Q. Doggerson, III, Esq. Ph.D.

    He’s been known to wax bark conservative just to fuck with people’s heads.

  108. 108.

    geg6

    Bon voyage, Cole. And how do you do it, making me swoon even as you desert us. But ABL and Mr. Levenson guest blogging? Sweet!

    Ahem, before you go, we need reassurance that the animals are being well cared for, you know.

  110. 110.

    srv

    Ah, I remember you making reservations… I have alerted the BJ rangers of John’s appending arrival in the San Francisco area.

    Alas, we don’t know what he looks like. I’ll be gone next week also, too, so you can still hang out with the nicer folks.

  111. 111.

    morzer

    @srv:

    Alas, we don’t know what he looks like.

    Large white male, slightly clawed, with a Steelers shirt, perhaps?

  112. 112.

    Mnemosyne

    Yaay! Now I can get my Angry Black Lady at work where I only dare to read one or two websites!

  114. 114.

    Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther

    @asiangrrlMN: Thank you so much for all your comments today! I always love what you have to say, and on a day like today, when I have barely had time to breath, much less tend to my blog, it was particularly appreciated.

    You’re a lovely woman, you know. I know that (to quote John Bird from three hours ago) “The Internet isn’t for being nice to people” — but you really are lovely.

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