Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

An almost top 10,000 blog!

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

Don’t expect peaches from an apple tree.

Republicans in disarray!

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Hi god, it’s us. Thanks a heap, you’re having a great week and it’s only Thursday!

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

I know this must be bad for Joe Biden, I just don’t know how.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

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211Comments

  2. 2.

    Arclite

    I was a huge Giants fan. Then I moved to Japan in the 90s and was unable to watch it for six years. When I got back, I found I’d totally lost interest in watching sports on TV…

  4. 4.

    S. cerevisiae

    Yes, yes it does. But I will still be cheering them on later no matter what with a tall, frosty glass of Bridgeport Hop Czar. Skol Vikings!

    Q: What do the Minnesota Vikings and Billy Graham have in common?

    A: They can both make 60,000 people stand up and yell “Jesus Christ!”

  6. 6.

    Martin

    So, I now have a (training) sword-wielding black belt in my household. Not sure that smile is ever going to come off his face. Getting candy today is just icing on that cake.

    Since half of y’alls teams are going to win and half lose, I’ll not take sides on the well wishing. Let’s just settle for clean games with no injuries. Oh, and FTFY!

  9. 9.

    RinaX

    Thank goodness for the Cowboys. Assuming the Jaguars don’t collapse in the second half (which is very possible), they may enable us to go into our bye week at 4-4 and give us fans an extra week of feeling ok before the inevitable shellacking we will take the second half of the season.

  11. 11.

    morzer

    @RinaX:

    If the season continues as it has begun, I may have to consider feeling compassion for Jerry Jones. This is a most disconcerting possibility.

  13. 13.

    Andy K

    @morzer:

    My attitude towards Jones has changed over the last decade or so due to the fact that he’s willing to take on reclamation projects. I do wish he’d stay off the sideline, though.

  18. 18.

    morzer

    I swear that last gift touchdown to TO was among the most agonizing moments of embarrassment for a Dolphins fan in my lifetime.

  19. 19.

    MeDrewNotYou

    @asiangrrlMN: I feel the same way about the Cowboys and the Yankees. I’d want them to lose even if they were playing against the Berlin Nazis or the Beijing Puppy Poisoners.

  20. 20.

    Brian S (formerly Incertus)

    My team isn’t playing terrifically this year, but they are the reigning champs, which is something I never thought I’d see. I’m considering quitting the game forever just so I can go out with that feeling.

  24. 24.

    morzer

    @Brian S (formerly Incertus):

    Teeth were ground and knives sharpened. Still, we shall endure. But why did it have to be that preening, insufferable egomaniac?

    Update: no, Jerry Jones did not walk into the endzone for the Bengals.

  25. 25.

    debit

    This Packers game is really boring. Luckily, Oliver never fails to amuse.

    I’m actually debating how much I want to suffer today; rake the lawn or watch the Vikings? It’s a tough call.

  27. 27.

    Andy K

    @Brian S (formerly Incertus): Too late. Had you made the announcement in the pre-season I think it would be accepable, but since you’ve waited until week 8, and the Saints have returned to the pack, you must suffer through the entirety of the season. Sorry.

    And Tramon Williams rips the ball from the Jets’ receiver!

  32. 32.

    MeDrewNotYou

    @morzer: Ooh. I know, as a Colts fan, I’m on very dangerous ground here, but I kinda like the Patriots. I hate the coach (WTH is with Belichick’s sweat pants/shirts?) and most of the players, but I really enjoy watching them play.

  34. 34.

    JPL

    HAHAHAHA John has new abodes which means at least a few trick or treaters to interrupt the Pitt/NO game. Nice!

  36. 36.

    morzer

    @Andy K:

    Well, it’s a tradition with the Dolphins and Jets. Plus, there’s always Fireman Ed as a justification. I don’t actually “hate” hate the Jets, preening bunch of exhibitionist frauds though the other New York team may be.

    Svensker, if you are lurking, yes, I know I promised to support Rex Ryan’s next challenge!

  45. 45.

    Gator90

    Remember the movie “Gangs of New York”? Those people were the ancestors of today’s Jet fans.

  46. 46.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal

    My team doesn’t suck. Sure, we’re 2-4 in the WCHA, but take out the empty net goals and all of those losses were by one goal to top five teams.

    I am getting really tired of losing to Duluth 3-2. Again, without the ENG last night, that’s five games in a row against them we’ve lost by that score, including last year’s WCHA championship game and last year’s NCAA semifinal.

    Fortunately, there’s no NFL team in Detroit that could make me sad by losing all the time.

  54. 54.

    low-tech cyclist

    Your team sucks.

    It does – I’m a Redskins fan.

    Right now, the ‘Skins are losing to the 1-5 Lions.

  55. 55.

    MeDrewNotYou

    As Jacksonville was kicking their extra point, I swear I heard the crowd chanting, “Let’s go Rangers!” That’d be sad if it weren’t the Cowboys’ fans. As it is, its just funny.

  59. 59.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Omnes Omnibus: morzer started it by talking about Favre’s gray badger a few weeks back and whether or not Favre would expose it. Ask him why a badger. Maybe because Favre played for Wisconsin for so long? Anyway, it’s taken on a life of its own, and with that, I need some brain bleach.

    @Omnes Omnibus: That’s what I said!

  67. 67.

    asiangrrlMN

    @morzer: J-E-T-S!

    @Andy K: I actually think that’s the prudent play. I don’t give a rat’s ass about Favre’s streak, but I know he does. So, letting him play one play to keep the damn streak alive and then benching his ass is the right thing to do.

    @morzer: Only because you have permanently seared the image in my brain, thankyewverymuch.

    ETA after morzer’s last comment: DOUBLE EW!

  69. 69.

    Andy K

    @asiangrrlMN:

    It means something to the league, too, not just Favre.

    I don’t think it’s cheap, either. Both Gehrig and Ripken did similar things during their streaks, in a much less physically demanding sport.

  70. 70.

    morzer

    Seriously, whodathunk that we are coming up to the 4th quarter, and the Jets and Packers would have a grand total of 3 points between them?

  72. 72.

    morzer

    @Andy K:

    I imagine most of these longevity records have some games when the player carried an injury to keep the streak going.

  73. 73.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal

    @Andy K: I don’t follow the NFL enough to know if this is true of Favre’s streak, but I thought that Ripken’s streak was one of the most selfish things I’ve ever seen in sports. It became very clear that he was wearing down, and he absolutely hurt the Orioles’ chances of winning games late in the season and later in his career because he never took a day off.

    The fact that it’s so celebrated indicates that most sports fans don’t have any ability to think rationally.

  74. 74.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @morzer: There is a difference between let a guy take a couple of snaps to keep the streak going and letting a guy try to play and finding that he can’t.

  76. 76.

    morzer

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I am not saying I approve, but if Favre does this, he would hardly be the only sportsman to do so. Hypocritical, yes, no, maybe ..but hardly unique.

    FWIW, if the coach/owner lets this happen, they are arguably more to blame than the player.

  78. 78.

    morzer

    @asiangrrlMN:

    If the league cared, they could rule that a player must log 25% of game time for a game to count towards a record. Of course, they won’t, because gaudy stats attract audiences.

  80. 80.

    Andy K

    @That’s Master of Accountancy to You, Pal:

    …I thought that Ripken’s streak was one of the most selfish things I’ve ever seen in sports. It became very clear that he was wearing down, and he absolutely hurt the Orioles’ chances of winning games late in the season and later in his career because he never took a day off.

    He had a handful of truly great seasons, but I think Ripken was overrated. Without the streak, he’s not even Robin Yount or Alan Trammell; with the streak he’s an advertiser’s wet dream.

  89. 89.

    morzer

    And Carson Palmer wins the pole-vault off a defender to the sideline prize, formerly owned by Ted Ginn.

  92. 92.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal

    @Andy K: I’m a Detroit fan, and I think that Trammell should have a plaque in Cooperstown, but there’s no question at all that Ripken was better. Ripken might have been a bit better defensively than Trammell, though it’s hard to tell. He had a slightly better OPS+, and he played about 700 more games and had 800 more hits and 250 more home runs than Trammell. In other words, he’s slightly better on rate stats, and absurdly ahead in counting stats.

    Ripken was just about as good as Robin Yount once you correct for the fact that Yount played half of his career at a less demanding position. Then again, I don’t think that this, in and of itself, constitutes evidence that Ripken was overrated. Rather, it’s that I think Yount is criminally underrated.

    Cal Ripken Jr. was selfish and annoying, but he was also really damned good.

  93. 93.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @morzer: Neither offense is playing particularly well. Both INTs were situations where the GB player wrestled the ball out of the Jet player’s hands.

  99. 99.

    Andy K

    @That’s Master of Accountancy to You, Pal:

    Who was it that the Brewers brought up who displaced Yount? Molitor? It isn’t as if Yount misplayed his way to center field.

    I don’t have the stats handy, but when Ripken had off years- offensively- they were a lot worse than Tram’s or Yount’s bad years.

    I’d take Tram over either Yount or Ripken any day if I needed a clutch hit. ANY day.

  103. 103.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Andy K: Get through this game with a W. Try to get the offense right against the ‘Boys next week and then get some rest and get healthier.

  104. 104.

    Andy K

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Agreed.

    And there’s your dagger.

    Hey, the Lions, after never having beaten the Washington Redskins ever, look like they’re going to take their second in a row from ’em.

  107. 107.

    Andy K

    Shit! Couldn’t keep ’em under 100 yards rushing- but did until the last play of the game.

    When was the last shutout? I’m thinking against the Eagles in McNabb’s rookie season.

  111. 111.

    Brian S (formerly Incertus)

    About that Miami-Cincy game, I have a tactical question to ask. When Miami scored the TD, they went up 21-14 before the extra point. Why not go for 2 there? If you miss, you’re up by a TD and an extra point. If you make it, you’re up by 2 scores near the end of the game. As it turned out, it didn’t matter because Palmer threw a pick, but if he’d driven them to a TD and 2-pointer, then it’s tied and you’re in overtime, which is probably what happens if you go for the 2-pointer and miss. I guess you can argue that it’s tougher to make a 2 than to kick it, and so you’ve made it harder for the opposing team to tie, but I’d say that the possibility of a 2-score game makes the gamble worth it.

  113. 113.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal

    @S. cerevisiae: I have a feeling that we aren’t talking about the same UMD hockey team. I’m talking about the one that is the defending national champions, and has won five titles in the last ten years.

  114. 114.

    asiangrrlMN

    Go, Vikes, I guess.

    ETA: Slurp slurp slurp. Ugh. Did anyone doubt that the very manly Brett Favre would start, even with a crushed brain and a missing heart?

    @morzer: I agree. Again. With you. Yipes! I just think it’s stupid.

    @Omnes Omnibus: Well, screw you, too, Sir.

    @morzer: EW!

  115. 115.

    morzer

    I will say that I despise the practice of icing the kicker. It’s utterly cheap and unsporting, and if the NFL banned the practice it would enhance the game.

  123. 123.

    asiangrrlMN

    Holy shit. Troy Aikman is tying himself in knots trying to explain why Brett cannot be benched. He has been treated special since he started playing. Therefore, he has to continue to be treated special (his mangling, not mine) even if he plays poorly. So, no benching for Brett! WTF?

    @morzer: There’s always a first time.

    @debit: Yeah. NOT good.

  125. 125.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal

    @Andy K:

    Who was it that the Brewers brought up who displaced Yount? Molitor? It isn’t as if Yount misplayed his way to center field.

    Ernie Riles, but the move had nothing to do with the Brewrs’ feelings about him. Yount moved to the outfield because he wrecked his shoulder in 1984 and couldn’t handle the number of throws a shortstop has to make.

    I don’t have the stats handy, but when Ripken had off years- offensively- they were a lot worse than Tram’s or Yount’s bad years.

    Not true. If you exclude the partial, bad years at the end of their careers, Ripken had a total of six years (out of nineteen) with an OPS+ below 100, and only one season with an OPS+ below 90: an 89 in 1998. Trammell had eight (out of seventeen) below 100, five below 90 and a career low of 85 in 1979. Yount had six seasons (out of nineteen) below 100, two below 90, and a career low of 76 in 1976.

    Ripken’s worst years were consistently better than either of the others’

    I’d take Tram over either Yount or Ripken any day if I needed a clutch hit. ANY day.

    And you’d be making a suboptimal choice. I can easily defend taking Yount over Ripken, though I could go the other way, too. I can’t defend taking Trammell. Your memories simply do not match the facts.

  127. 127.

    WaterGirl

    I know this is an NFL open thread, but it’s the only open thread we’ve got. We are trying to find a movie to go to so as not to sit at home all evening with buckets of candy only to get 3 trick or treaters the whole night.

    Has anyone seen the movie “Red”?

  132. 132.

    West of the Cascades

    How did Cole guess that I am a Buffalo Bills fan?? My team sucks more than anyone else’s team AND I STILL WATCHED THE WHOLE DAMNED GAME. Thanks to the Bills waiting all the way to the last second of overtime to lose, I wasted nearly 4 hours today instead of the usual 3.

  134. 134.

    debit

    @WaterGirl: Spoiled as in he gave away a major plot development about a character. He wasn’t fan of the film and so probably didn’t care about ruining it for someone else. I usually like Ebert, but it was a dickish thing to do.

    And thanks! Oliver is wearing out the batteries in my camera.

  135. 135.

    asiangrrlMN

    @debit: That is a dickish thing to do. It’s one reason I don’t read reviews if I actually want to see a movie. I hate spoilers like that.

    Damn. Touchdown, Pats.

    Seriously? I mean, I’m glad Harvin is back, but kick return?

  136. 136.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal

    @debit: The problem is in the distinction between being a reviewer and being a critic. A reviewer should be wary of plot spoilers. A critic usually has to discuss them, because it’s hard to really discuss a movie (or any other form of storytelling) without discussing major plot points. I know that Ebert thinks of himself, justifiably, as a critic. In general, I find the work of a critic much more interesting to read, and I’m sure it’s more interesting to write.

    I’m not sure what Ebert’s newspaper columns are supposed to be, but his personal writings are always likely to be criticism rather than reviews. If you don’t want plot spoilers, don’t read them. They aren’t meant for what you. Giving away a major plot development is not being dickish; it’s doing exactly what he claims to be doing.

  139. 139.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal

    @debit: That’s probably why I said I don’t know what his newspaper column is supposed to be.

  149. 149.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal

    Wow. That was an amazing pass by Brady and whichever receiver is #19. He was throwing the ball before he finished spinning around. He obviously saw #19 about to break open, and the two of them stayed on the same page while he was avoiding the tackle so that Brady could start the pass before he could see the receiver again.

  155. 155.

    morzer

    Brad Childress is starting to look like one of those haunted, guilt-ridden characters in Dostoyevsky….

  158. 158.

    morzer

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Joking aside, I suspect that his current misery largely derives from having humiliated himself (and the team) so publicly for a QB who just hasn’t got it done. How does one come back from that?

  163. 163.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal

    @morzer:

    Joking aside, I suspect that his current misery largely derives from having humiliated himself (and the team) so publicly for a QB who just hasn’t got it done. How does one come back from that?

    I think Childress is toast, and I have no idea whether he deserves it or not. However, I don’t think he’s humiliated himself this week. Quite the opposite: some combination of people in the Vikings’ organization humiliated him. Brad Childress has basically made it clear that:

    a) he doesn’t want Brett Favre as his quarterback, and
    b) he doesn’t really have enough authority in the organization to tell Favre that he can’t play.

    The dysfunction here goes way, way beyond Brad Childress. As a Lions’ fan, I recognize this set of behaviors, and it means that the ultimate people in charge, the owners, have no business running a lemonade stand, let alone a professional football team. If you don’t want Brad Childress making those sorts of decisions, then fire him. If you don’t, you’re incompetent.

  165. 165.

    morzer

    @That’s Master of Accountancy to You, Pal:

    No, no. I am not saying he humiliated himself this week. I am talking about the pitiable begging and pleading for the Great One to return in the preseason. You know – the Three Amigos go to Mississippi, the fact he missed training camp etc etc.

    ADDENDUM: That said, I agree with your view of how dysfunctional the Vikings have become.

  166. 166.

    BubbaDave

    My team is the Cowboys, so yes they do. But at least I’m not aware of any rapists on our team….

  167. 167.

    asiangrrlMN

    @morzer: Agree with you on this. I will say that if Childress has changed his mind, then more power to him. Someone has to tell Favre he is not the answer this season. Oh, and as for the miracle comeback? Bite me.

  168. 168.

    debit

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Oh, and as for the miracle comeback? Bite me.

    Heh. Well, the bread is in the oven and I’ve done the dishes, so I have no excuse to stay in the kitchen. I apologize in advance.

    Damn, Percy Harvin is one fine man.

  171. 171.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Andy K: I cheer for whichever result will most benefit GB.

    ETA: Two intentional grounding penalties on Favre today?

  173. 173.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal

    @morzer: Again, I don’t pay close enough attention to anything NFL to be sure of this, but do we know that begging for Favre to come back was Childress’ idea or that he really supported it? He could have just been playing the good employee. It’s not like the idea that he didn’t like Favre came out of nowhere; they didn’t get along last year, either.

    And this part of it does not necessarily indicate that he lacks authority. It isn’t the head coach’s job to decide who is on the team. That’s the GM’s call, and the coach should work with it, unless the lines of authority are explicitly drawn differently, a la Holmgren.

  176. 176.

    asiangrrlMN

    @debit: Well, we’re marching now, so you can come out of the kitchen.

    And, may I please nut-punch Troy Aikman? He is REALLY getting on my last nerve. There. He just snapped it.

    And, I would like to nut-punch the other guy, too (I think it’s Kenny Albert. It’s not. It’s Tom someone). Fuck his Favre fetish with my rusty pitchfork.

    Boo-yah! Tarvaris Jackson got it going on. We’re back in the game! debit stays out of the kitchen!

  182. 182.

    morzer

    @debit:

    You picked a good time to emerge from the kitchen, apparently. You seem to be a lucky groundhog for the Vikings!

  183. 183.

    morzer

    @debit:

    My timetable is getting rather busy with you Vikings fans. First, I have to chew Asiangrrl, and now I have to spank you as well?

  186. 186.

    morzer

    @Andy K:

    Now you know what it feels like for a Dolphins fan to watch a Patriots/Jets game. Although a meteor strike before any result would be perfectly acceptable.

  187. 187.

    asiangrrlMN

    @debit: I’ll spank ya!

    @Omnes Omnibus: No kidding. Troy becomes such a fanboy.

    @Andy K: Ha. That’s funny.

    OK. I just gotta say, I don’t like seeing Favre taken off on a cart. No matter how much I don’t want him to play, I retract my previous statements about wanting him to get hurt to get out of the game.

  188. 188.

    freelancer

    Seriously, Who hires these color guys?! “I’m not one for speculation, but, Troy Aikman, you certainly know what it’s like to be blasted on the chin”.

    Oy.

  191. 191.

    asiangrrlMN

    @morzer: Yeah. I really don’t want that.

    @morzer: Threesome!

    @Omnes Omnibus: I told him to bite me and then to suck it so he asked if he could combine the two and chew. I said yes. debit told him to spank her for coming out of the kitchen. There ya go.

    It is Thom Brenneman. I want to nut-punch him, too.

  193. 193.

    Andy K

    @freelancer:

    Aikman is the color guy. Thom Brenneman (I think that’s who’s with Aikman) is the play-by-play guy- and not usually Aikman’s partner.

    BTW, I really liked Brenneman in the Cubs’ radio booth with Ron Santo, though I don’t think Santo liked young Thom too much.

  195. 195.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal

    @Andy K: Brenneman is an ass, but he came by it naturally, because his father is worse. Marty almost single-handedly drove Adam Dunn out of Cincinnati.

  200. 200.

    S. cerevisiae

    Our defense was EPIC FAIL on the last series, hell the whole game. Can’t blame that on the old man or Chilly. Asher Allen should be benched.

  206. 206.

    morzer

    I have to say, the Vikings look pretty unenthusiastic as a team. To me, that feels like the real difference between the two sides.

  208. 208.

    S. cerevisiae

    All I can say is I would hate to be an oddsmaker in Vegas this year. I really don’t see any dominant teams – this will probably go down as the great year of parity. I really have no clue on a Super Bowl favorite because every good team has flaws and most of the bad teams have talent or potential. In any other year at 2-5 I would be looking at hockey schedules and watching potential college draft choices, but I could really see NFC first seed going to an 11-5 team. Not that we are going to win out – I’m not completely delusional.

  209. 209.

    billgerat

    My team, the Seachickens, definitely sucked today, but it doesn’t help when even the review refs still can’t make the right call. Come Monday, I hope the League hands out a few suspensions to the Zebras.

  211. 211.

    Svensker

    @morzer:

    Meh. Horrible game. And boring. Then I had to choose whether to root for Favre to get smashed in the ankle or for Brady to break another leg. I would have been happy with both. Finally decided to root for the Vikes to avenge Randy Moss, but that didn’t work out so well either.

    Pooey. Rotten horrible day all around.

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