I’ve always thought that Chris Matthews’ gushing about W’s ability to throw a baseball was probably one of the low points in our nation’s history:
There are some things you can’t fake. Either you can throw a strike from sixty feet or you can’t. Either you can rise to the occasion on the mound at Yankee Stadium with 56,000 people watching or you can’t. On Tuesday night, George W. Bush hit the strike zone in the House that Ruth Built…. This is about knowing what to do at the moment you have to do it–and then doing it. It’s about that ‘grace under pressure’ that Hemingway gave as his very definition of courage.
Bush threw another baseball over the plate last night and winger are excited. Steve Benen and Scott Lemieux have collected some of the best reactions:
One prominent conservative wrote about the former president throwing a baseball, “What a moment! … What a wonderful moment.” Another called the joint appearance on the field, “What a moving study in dignity and class. What a great example.” Another writer on the same site wrote, “God, I miss the man. I disagreed with him on a number of issues … but no one ever doubted where his loyalties lay or what country he thought he was President of…. It’s good to see that he still throws a baseball like a man, which is how he governed.”
Another wrote, “Miss them yet, America? What a moment in Texas. Father, son and baseball — it does not get any more American than that…. Remember Barack Hussein Obama’s pathetic first pitches? Who could forget the lameness.”
Mutatis mutandis — with basketball, motorcycles, or moose-hunting substituted for baseball — we will see the same bullshit trotted out in the 2012 election.
And, yes, wingers still have a crush on George W. Bush.
Update. His Satanic Majesty — i.e., John — requested that I insert a picture of Kenny Powers into this post.
CJ
The Comeback of Commander Codpiece: A Redemption Story.
lamh31
And the Rangers STILL lost, so bully for bushies!
On a happier note, Saints won!!! Who Dat!
Added bonus: Cowboys lost too!
licensed to kill time
Jeez, I saw that yesterday and all it made me do was hiss at the screen. Also, H.W. is pretty tottery these days.
arguingwithsignposts
A former college acquaintance I know on facebook commented, basically saying the same thing. I didn’t respond, because I didn’t want to tell the guy to go f himself.
Disgusting.
Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
We fast-forwarded through the whole pregame crapfest. Even Lyle Lovett could not provide enough reverse juju to offset the Bushes and the giant flag AGAIN last night (although, to be fair, the games in San Francisco have featured an almost equal burden of patriotic bullshit). Thank G-d the Giants won and the Texas fans got a big dose of STFU.
MTmofo
The one report I read indicated the dumbfuckya put his pitch over the batter’s box for right-handers.
Meaning, had there been a batter at the plate, he could have hit him.
Xenocrates
Kenny Powers could have hit the head of a pin…that’s how a REAL man throws a baseball! Suck it…so glad the Rangers had the good sense to run into an SF buzz saw, and that Daddy and Shrub were on hand to witness the beating. Screw these righties and their macho hangups; it presents a lovely psychological picture of what these guys (and they are overwhelmingly male) really want out of life. Sad, and Matthews is one of the saddest. Go vote tomorrow…make Karl Rove cry.
chopper
lol, it’s san francisco values vs. texas values! who will win? the gays or the tough, sun-chapped…jesus, that sounds kinda gay too.
Paris
And he can cheer lead like no other chick on the squad.
dmsilev
To be fair, Chris Matthews’ gushing about Obama’s speech when he clinched the nomination (“a thrill up my leg”) was every bit as wince-inducing.
dms
MikeJ
Can throw a ball and can let bin Laden escape, even when you’ve got him bottled up!
catclub
@chopper:
you get especially sun chapped with assless chaps
Bender
Worst lyric Springsteen ever wrote. No one in baseball history has ever called a fastball a “speedball.” “Speed ball” is a cricketing term.
Calouste
Excuse me while I get my barfbag.
quaint irene
Well, what else can they gush orgasmically about? A disastrous war? Running the economy into the crapper? Racking up a massive debt that seems to have escaped the Tea baggers notice till Obama got in office? Do I miss him yet? Sweet Jesus, no.
No, we must get misty eyed over the fact that he can throw a frigging ball. How come these pundits don’t swoon over Obama on the basketball court?
FlipYrWhig
I just mentioned at Chez Benen that the short film that was played before Dubya took the podium at the 2004 RNC, with voiceover by Fred Thompson, was _all about_ that stupid ceremonial first pitch. It’s not just Chris Matthews. It was something the whole partisan apparatus seized upon as Very Very Important.
Anniecat45
Did anyone besides me notice, in the first game, Nolan Ryan scowling his face off in the stands when the Rangers were AHEAD 2-0?
Maybe he smelled the dope smoke in the stands.
FlipYrWhig
@MikeJ: He’s got Bin Laden in a rundown!
dmsilev
@quaint irene:
Because baseball is The Great American Sport and basketball is something that inner-city kids play.
dms, only partially joking
FlipYrWhig
@Anniecat45:
That was just Dubya’s jacket. What else do you think he does all day? Wake, bake, repeat.
ed drone
@quaint irene:
Ahem! Basketball is the “city game,” meaning, in case you didn’t notice, ni99ers. And the president is “one of THEM!”
SATSQ
Ed
Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
@FlipYrWhig:
How sweet – he and Laura finally have found a common interest.
Bender
Meanwhile…have you seen Michelle Obama’s arms??? And Barack does curls with 70-pound weights (allegedly)! OMFG!
BGinCHI
The pre-game was like eating a whole picnic basket of shit sandwiches. The fucking Bushes, with the gray-haired harridan there for good measure.
That was delicious stuff though when they got 3 hits the same day Dallas went 1-6.
I’d LOVE to see SF win the series in TX.
And fuck Nolan Ryan too.
Bnut
I can throw a strike AND not start 2 land wars in Asia.
Mark S.
The rich
Go fuck yourself. And I doubt you disagreed with him about any issue besides maybe immigration reform.
I was pretty neutral about the Series, but now I’d like to see the Giants close it out with a 16-0 whooping in Arlington.
kommrade reproductive vigor
George W. Bush. The Great White Dope. (Or White Punk on Dope even.)
GambitRF
Nobody could have predicted that people in Texas would like Republican ex-Presidents
geg6
@quaint irene:
Because both basketball and Obama are blackety, black, black, black. SATSQ.
The swooning over Commander Codpiece is the gayest shit ever. These people are so far into the closet, they are quivering with delight over the Shrub in my Earth shoes shoe boxes.
ricky
The Rangers better figure things out fast.
They lost games to the Yanks and SF when Shrub was present.
BTW, he picks his nose better than he pitches at the BallPark in Tax Havenland.
The Moar You Know
He could be taught to throw a baseball but couldn’t be bothered to run a country.
What an epitaph.
El Cid
Chris Matthews is a weird, weird man.
Chris
The ability of wingers to take solace in silly, stupid symbolism really is remarkable.
It does not matter – one bit – to them what actually happens in the country, as long as they can find an excuse to feel good about the president, the country, and themselves. Bush and his high-end supporters could be stealing their money, repossessing their houses, making them dumber, depriving them of healthcare, polluting their environment, getting their kids killed overseas for no apparent gain, and living like kings at their expense, and they wouldn’t just bite back any complaints about such abuse, but they’d actively cheer it on.
Thanks for inflicting your taste for self-destructive squalor on the rest of us. Assholes.
beltane
When did we become a nation of baboons?
Maybe tomorrow’s debacle will be a form of karma. The sin of George W. Bush and his crimes against humanity has not been atoned for. Maybe a Republican Congress will serve as a mass flagellation, the collective, self-inflicted punishment of red state America.
Woodrowfan
I couldn’t decide who I wanted to win until I heard Shrub was there. That did it, GO GIANTS!!!
The Moar You Know
“God, I miss the man. I disagreed with him on a number of issues … but no one ever doubted where his loyalties lay or what country he thought he was President of…. It’s good to see that he still throws a baseball like a man, which is how he governed.”
NOT GAY
Redshift
That’s true. He thought he was president of a country defined by its boundaries rather than its principles, and his loyalties were to no one but himself and his cronies. I never doubted either of those things.
See how easy it is for us all to agree?
ricky
What I find thrilling is that Jr. can still drive Daddy around in a golf cart. He hasn’t lost his touch.
Comrade Javamanphil
Which is why more Americans watched a mid-season NFL game instead. Moran.
Poopyman
@El Cid:
True, but he only distinguishes himself from the rest of the pack by his inability to stop running his mouth. It’s pretty obvious that the rest of them think along the same lines.
Rosalita
@Bender:
yeah but in this case the next line about looking like a fool boy is apt
thomas Levenson
Pelosi-ville kicked Bush’s team’s ass. Enough said.
Triassic Sands
Not even close to the gushing about Bush in a flight suit. The baseball stuff is idiotic, but the flight suit comments were flat out sick.
John Bird
George Bush: a good-enough pitching arm to lead the free world.
Alex
W is such a man, he took the ball standing 3 feet in front of the pitching rubber, took two more steps towards home plate before his manly throw. In other words, he had to cheat about 12 feet towards home in order to make the throw.
DanF
Yeah, but the SOB couldn’t hit a jump shot, eat a pretzel or ride a Segway.
Nancyboy
A part of me hopes this series can come back to SF, so Madam Speaker Pelosi can throw out the first pitch at AT&T park (preferably at a cardboard cut-out of John Boehner)
Mark S.
The low point for me was when Bush was absolutely slaying them with jokes about not finding WMDs. But the flight suit was pretty awful as well.
West of the Cascades
@Bender: “Worst lyric Springsteen ever wrote. No one in baseball history has ever called a fastball a “speedball.” “Speed ball” is a cricketing term.”
OK, that’s the worst baseball comment ever – “speed ball” was used regularly for fastball in the early days of baseball (i.e. “baseball history”), as, for example, in this New York Times headline about pitching great Walter Johnson:
“WALTER JOHNSON IN OLDTIME FORM; Speed Ball King Helps Senators to Earn 3 to 2 Victory in St. Louis.”
You can look it up:
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F50D12FB395816738DDDA10994DD405B858DF1D3
When in doubt, Springsteen is probably right. And don’t forget the awesome power of teh Google.
Violet
@chopper:
Football values win. Baseball really isn’t “America’s pastime” anymore. At least not the watching part. And these days all those furriners are on the teams, speakin’ their non-English languages. This is Murka! Speak English!
Polish the Guillotines
Two words: Buster fucking Posey.
Bnut
Looks like Obama is gearing up to get Bush-like in Yemen. The more things change….
beltane
@DanF: I believe he also had trouble opening closed doors and stepping down off a stage. He also had trouble with basic English grammar and pronunciation. For someone with severe developmental disabilities he did OK though.
Bender
Because he has a set-shot like a player from 1954? And throws like a 9-year-old girl? And bowls like a special Olympian (allegedly)?
No, just kidding. Of course, the media swoons over his “game.” As does he himself.
Triassic Sands
@Mark S.:
The flight suit and pitch commentary seem to be birds of a feather, so I compared them, but I think you are right, Mark. Bush joking about finding WMDs may have been the lowest point of all. I try not to think about it.
Zifnab
What? No cat calls and derision? No pundits squawking about mom jeans or how he wore his baseball cap? I don’t understand. How was GW’s visit to the mound any different from Obama’s when the baseball season started?
ricky
@beltane:
The man could dodge a well thrown Iraqi shoe from either foot with an ease displayed by no American President before or since.
New Yorker
You know, bullshit like this is one of the reasons I want San Francisco to win this series. I knew the wingnut chorus would politicize the World Series, so I will laugh and laugh when Tim the long-haired pothead mows down the Rangers tonight and gives that faggoty socialist America-hating hellhole by the bay its first-ever World Championship over the people of Real ‘Murka down there in Dallas-Fort Worth.
On another note, if we’re going to judge a president by his ability to throw a baseball, I can’t wait for the Steve Carlton administration, where his State of the Union address will be an incoherent rant about the Illuminati/Rothschilds/NWO/Freemasons.
Jesus.
Graeme
I hope the Giants win tonight, so they beat the Rangers in their yard. I hope they salt the earth on their way out. I hate all Texas teams. Always have.
I just donated another $50 to Just Say Now’s Spanish-language GOTV efforts on behalf of Prop 19. BECAUSE I HAVE SAN FRANCISCO VALUES, that’s why!
GregB
Turn this ship’s wheel over to President Palin 2012 and tell the band to keep on playing as it sinks.
Let her bomb Iran after President Obama passes an anti Iran resolution in order to appease congress.
This shit sandwich is stinking up the whole fridge.
John Bird
The super-secret reason is that to be a Republican and have bonafides nowadays you have to pretend to know something about sports.
These people? They’re nerds, and they don’t actually know anything about sports. So they settle on baseball as the ‘traditional’ patriotic sport that most Americans don’t know anything about.
Then they pretend they’re capable of assessing how good a pitcher W. is (a pretty terrible one, considering that he basically ran down the mound before loosing the ball.)
Their readers, who watch basketball and football, nod sagely, as all sports fans are now expected to be fans of all sports (I get endless shit from ESPN addicts because when the ‘Canes showed up in NC, I didn’t start pretending to care about hockey, and I still don’t).
Everyone wins.
slag
@dmsilev: I call false equivalence. For starters, while “thrill up my leg” is not a phrase that should be used seriously in any context, at least oratory is predominantly in the President’s bailiwick and is worthy of lengthy analysis by Chris Matthews or anyone else. Speeches do and should make political history. Fastballs not so much.
Priorities, man, priorities.
stuckinred
How could anyone possibly give a flying fuck?
MikeB
Charles Pierce:
“To celebrate Halloween, it was Presidential Undead Night at the World Series last night. The Rangers responded by losing, 4-0.
They still got it.”
Mornington Crescent
You mean somebody was watching this game?
Game 3 was the 2nd lowest rated World Series game of all time, and game 4 was the lowest rated World Series game 4 ever.
BGinCHI
@Mornington Crescent: Is that according to Rasmussen?
Polish the Guillotines
Finally found it! From SNL, circa 1990. George F. Will’s Sports Machine.
Ash Can
@Bender: OK, I’m really, really thinking you’re just a spoof now, with that HuffPo link. It’s a hoot. Thanks.
Seriously, everybody, check out that link. It’s an old story, but one that I had missed, and it gave me a good chuckle. (Hint: When you read it, keep in mind the basketball saying about ending up on a poster in the gift shop.)
Peter VE
Wait, Wait… had a great comment: The Rangers are finally in the World Series, proving that it takes about 12 years to recover from George Bush.
Calouste
@Bender:
“Speed ball” is most assuredly NOT a cricketing term. (Unless you are referring to Dermot Reeve’s recreational habits.)
morzer
Well, what an epic tribute to the power of low expectations. Bush managed to walk on a level surface and to throw a ball, without throwing up, soiling himself, or accidentally shooting himself in the face.
Clearly, this means he was right to wreck the budget, right to fall asleep at the switch and let al-Qaeda strike us, right to start two pointless wars, and right to behave like an ignorant torture-porn fan for 8 years.
Bet they made sure there were no pretzels in his dressing-room though.
stuckinred
@Ash Can: Reggie was the captain of the 2005 Duke National Champs. Coming anywhere near blocking a shot on him for any ham-n-egg pickup player would be huge for that player.
El Cid
@GregB: These people are intent on ending the god-damned country anyway while seeking their fantasy of 1896 / 1950s Southern segregationist Christian patriarchal Whiteland, so why not go ahead and get it the fuck done?
El Cid
Speedball is a very commonly used term.
morzer
@Calouste:
Bender is probably French. They don’t really understand le cricket in cheese-eating surrender monkey land.
Ash Can
@stuckinred: The poster bit is what slays me dead. Those guys are probably all cracking up and razzing each other over it to this day. Funny stuff.
Redshift
@Alex: Wow, I didn’t realize that “born on third base and thinks he hit a triple” could translate so easily to pitching…
daveNYC
Funny, I always thought the lyric was ‘throw that speedball fire’.
Allan
@beltane: I enjoy speculating about what Barbara Bush would say when social circumstances called for her to say something positive about young George?
I could see her gushing about Jeb’s intellect and Neil’s charm, but when it came to W, what would a mother say?
I finally settled on, “That George is a good eater.”
stuckinred
@Ash Can: Posterized!
Arclite
Contrast Bush with what Clinton and Carter have done after their presidencies. No matter what your ideology, those two have incredibly impressive resumes.
morzer
@Allan:
“He works hard on his pretzels”.
New Yorker
Dammit, my comment above is awaiting moderation (forgot the BJ spelling of “soshulist”), so I’ll rephrase it here: one reason I’m rooting for San Francisco in this series is that you had to know the wingnut chorus would politicize it. Thus, I want nothing more than to see a long-haired stoner named Tim Lincecum mow down Texas’ lineup tonight so the people of that awful gay soshulist Fake America hellhole by the bay can celebrate their first ever championship, while the team of Real ‘Murka weeps along with our former Great Leader.
El Cid
@Allan: You remember for a while there when George H. W. Bush seemed to start crying every time somebody asked him about W?
El Cid
@morzer: I’ve always suspected that the pretzel story was a coverup for something else. Drinking maybe, or whatever.
chopper
@Bender:
i don’t think the term ‘speedball’ is referring to what you’re used to.
morzer
@El Cid:
My take on it is that people who are new to yoga really shouldn’t start out with the head in ass position.
malraux
@Allan: Dude, he screwed up eating a pretzel.
Lurking Canadian
@Arclite: I’ve always thought that sitting down and shutting the hell up after leaving was arguably the finest act of GW Bush’s presidency, and perhaps his entire career.
Would that his erstwhile VP could say the same.
Roger Moore
@Chris:
FTFY. No need for hypotheticals.
blogbytom
There’s also this.
But yes, and as mentioned, basketball isn’t truly American.
ETA: not enough time to read whole thread, so i’m sorry if this has already been pointed out and/or linked.
Ash Can
@Arclite: As far as I’m concerned, it’s just as well W has kept to himself since leaving office. One of the few things he’s done right.
Tim
I can’t believe I’m the first person to point out that’s not Kenny Powers…
that’s Kenny FUCKING Powers, and yer fuckin’ out!
JenJen
The Kenny fucking Powers card really sends it home. Nice tandem, Cole and DougJ.
Remember when they wouldn’t even let the sitting President address the 2008 Republican National Convention in person, they were so ashamed of him? They hardly even pushed the hurricane as an excuse. They wanted people to know (or rather, to believe) that they were distancing themselves from Bush.
Even I almost bought it for a minute.
twiffer
if a good pitching arm is the criteria for good leadership, shouldn’t these guys be considering castro the exemplar?
DMD
Anyone notice how Nolan Ryan *looks* like a forgotten Bush brother in his old age?
Keith
@Tim:
I was just posting this myself to mention that the man’s name is Kenny “FUCKING” Powers (although Kenny “FUCKING” Powders is also acceptible, as is The Shelby Sensation, The Reverse Apache Master, The Man With The Golden Dick, and Dr. Cock ‘n Balls.
jinxtigr
@El Cid: @GregB:
Because they slaughter hundreds and thousands of innocent people including women and children.
What the fuck, people. If it was only Americans poised to suffer hugely I’d see your point bigtime. It’s so totally not.
Daddy-O
I am a serious baseball fan and a serious political observer of the progressive stripe. I watched this year’s playoffs with an interest I’ve never before experienced.
I rooted like hell FOR the Yankees during this year’s ALCS, when NO ONE ELSE was rooting for them besides Yankees fans. The very last thing I ever want to see is George W. Bush in the stands as his personal team, the one he made his cash fortune on, the one he used to own and front, win the World Series.
It’s Nancy Pelosi’s Giants against George W. Bush’s Rangers. Who else am I gonna root for or against? Who else is anyone gonna root for?
Bush’s playoff record this year is 1-2, including a loss to the Yankees in a come-from-behind win in Texas. I’d think twice before trotting him out there again…
Remember November
So the fact that Obama can hit a 3 pointer nothin but net makes him an elitist.
Basketball, an American sport.
Jesus/Buddha/AquaBuddha/Ganesh/Allah fuggin wept.
Dan
Bush throwing the first pitch is Mao swimming the Yangtze.
Pug
@New Yorker:
I think Hall-of-Famer Jim Bunning already covered all that.
Great pitcher. Complete lunatic.
Ming
Christ on a Triscuit. I will admit: when that videobite of Obama visiting the troops and throwing a swoosh 3-pointer from a cold start made the rounds on Youtube, I watched it and derived unreasonable enjoyment. But I knew the fucking difference between that and his being a good/ bad/ indifferent President! Jesus Mary.
Darkrose
Watching MadBum completely rout the dreaded Rangers’ offence while Poppy, Smirky, and Snippy Mama looked on? Priceless.
Chris
@Roger Moore:
D’oh! You know, I’d had visions of doing the strike-through thing with that, and then I’d tweaked something at the end of my comment, and the thought (and code) slipped my mind.
Xanthippas
@Daddy-O:
If the Texas Rangers mount an epic comeback to win the World Series, I’ll tongue kiss George W. Bush myself and let him ride me like a pony. Then I’ll come back and tell you people to kiss my ass.
Go Rangers!
Mike in NC
Money can buy you just about anything, including “love” (ask Limbaugh).
Felonious Wench
@Daddy-O:
I’m in Astros country. The *(^& Arlington fucking Rangers can go f-themselves.
For those of you who don’t speak Texan, the Rangers are basically a Dallas team. And Houstonians tend to dislike our uptight brethren to the north, including the Mavericks, the Stars, the Cowboys, and the Rangers. Give us the Astros, Texans, Rockets, and our wonderful minor league hockey team, the Aeros.
Go Giants.
Polish the Guillotines
@Xanthippas:
Not. Gonna. Happen.
socraticsilence
Lets be real part of the reason the media’s not as impressed with Obama hitting the J from the top of the key is because for a lot of them- “those people” can do that stuff with ease.
Dug
You know who was a really bad baseball player?
FDR.
socraticsilence
At this point between the Yankee’s in 2001 and the Rangers now- shouldn’t the opposing team be offering its owners box priveleges to get Bush to show up in close series– I mean I would have loved Dubya at the Phils-Giants game rocking a San Franscisco cap.
CJ
@Pug:
Both former Phillies players. Hmm.
Cacti
I remember when the Yankee-haters chided me for rooting against the Rangers because they were George W. Bush’s team. Ancient history they said.
Good thing they didn’t use their first ever World Series appearance to fellate Pappy and Dubya in the most visible way, eh guys?
Eff Texas, and the Rangers.
dadanarchist
And because everything the Bushes touch goes to shit, my beloved Giants won in an absolute beauty by a 21-year old rookie.
BerkeleyMom
It was nice to wipe the smirk of George W.’s face two nights in a row. Congratulations SF Giants for a great series and proof that a bunch of oddballs and unique individuals can make a championship team.
There’s some real San Francisco values!!
Mako
“I will never forget the evening in October 2001, shortly after the September 11 attacks, when President Bush walked onto the field at Yankee Stadium to throw out the first pitch in the World Series, wearing a bulletproof vest because no one knew what to expect, and threw a perfect strike. Moan.”
http://www.powerlineblog.com/archives/2010/10/027579.php
Interesting how one person can see a positive in that cringingly homoerotic history-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evb489N11Q4&
Fun facts-
Ronald Reagan was the first President to throw from the pitcher’s mound; Bill Clinton was the first to get the ball from the mound to the catcher without it bouncing. (mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/52446).
And the Senators always sucked too.