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We will not go quietly into the night; we will not vanish without a fight.

The line between political reporting and fan fiction continues to blur.

The republican speaker is a slippery little devil.

You are either for trump or for democracy. Pick one.

This country desperately needs a functioning fourth estate.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

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Weird. Rome has an American Pope and America has a Russian President.

DeSantis transforming Florida into 1930s Germany with gators and theme parks.

You are here: Home / Civil Rights / LGBTQ Rights / Gay Rights are Human Rights / The Gays in Spain Kiss Gently on the Plain; Tell Pope to KISS OFF!

The Gays in Spain Kiss Gently on the Plain; Tell Pope to KISS OFF!

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Don’t you just love gay men?

I know I do. I mean they are just people after all. I generally hate people, though. I sometimes jokingly say that gay men are sort of like black women. There’s a lot of overlap there. Just think about it. Maybe that’s why I feel safer around them. I don’t know what it is, but if I were traveling alone in some strange city, and I wanted to go out but didn’t know anyone in town, I would go to a gay bar. Take LA, for example. If you dropped me off in Los Angeles (and for some reason I didn’t remember I already lived here–like if I got into a horrible “you don’t remember you live here” accident and I woke up all confused and shit), and I didn’t know where I was I would go to West Hollywood.

For starters, chances are someone there would recognize me and help me put the pieces of my Life Puzzle back together. At the gay bars I frequent in West Hollywood, you’re going to see a lot of guys who really shouldn’t be waxing their eyebrows that much; some dude dancing on a table in his underwear; a bunch of hot straight bartenders shaking their shit for gay tips; and you’re going to get a lot of compliments and fashion tips, but what you’re not going to get is a lot of drunk asshats trying to play grab ass with you as you walk across the room.

I walk through a grinding dance club in West Hollywood, and the men make a path for me–as my friend Robert once told me, “girl, you parted the crowd like a knife through hot butter“–they don’t start trying to hump me to death like a pack of wild nutless dogs. I walk through a grinding dance club in Hollywood, and I’ve got one hand protecting my front, and one hand protecting my back, each hand clenched over a razor blade; I can see a wayward grope coming from a mile away and I will cut you after I give you the stank eye.

But not everyone loves them some gays. The Pope, for example–he’s got no love for the gays. He was talking shit about gay marriage in Spain after Spain just legalized gay marriage. (Dick move, dude.) So the gays had themselves a little “queerkissflashmob” to tell the Pope to kindly stick it where the papal sun don’t shine:

Pope Benedict attacked abortion and gay marriage, recently legalised in Spain, in a Mass to consecrate Barcelona’s iconic church in another pointed criticism of what he called Spain’s “aggressive secularism.”

Spain’s legalization of abortion on demand this year and gay marriage in 2005 have stoked tensions with the Vatican but Madrid has tried to downplay any friction during the pope’s two-day visit.

Hundreds of gay and lesbians protested the Church’s position by kissing publicly as the pope passed by on his way to the fantastically embellished modernist Sagrada Familia, designed by Antoni Gaudi and under construction for 128 years.

“The Church resists every form of denial of human life and gives its support to everything that would promote the natural order in the sphere of the institution of the family,” the pope said in the Mass.

He also said “the indissoluble love of a man and a woman is the effective context of human life in its gestation, birth, growth, and natural end,” in a clear criticism of gay marriage.

Before Sunday the Sagrada Familia — which will eventually be able to seat more than 10,000 people — had never been used as a church. Gaudi died in 1926 and construction has been slow, funded only by visitor admission fees and donations.

It was not clear if the pope noticed the mass kiss protest in the midst of thousands of flag-waving supporters who cheered the pope as he rode by in a bullet-proof “pope mobile”.

“We are here for a peaceful protest. The church oppresses us and doesn’t respect us … We can’t tolerate this sort of pope in the 21st century,” said Eduardo Prado, 39, one of about 300 men and women who participated in the so-called queerkissflashmob.

Love.

Look people, it’s going to happen: gays will be able to get married, and serve in the military, and do whatever the fuck they want JUST LIKE YOU CAN. You can either continue to be a jackass about it, or just shut the hell up.

[I just threw this up over on my blog, but then I thought, “Why not post it here too?”  Thinking is for winners.  -ABL]

Reader Interactions

70Comments

  1. 1.

    Wordsmith

    Perfect response to the former head of ‘Sacred Congregation for the Propagation of the Faith’ (Inquisition).

  4. 4.

    Yutsano

    This whole situation is making me giggle mightily.

    Before Sunday the Sagrada Familia — which will eventually be able to seat more than 10,000 people — had never been used as a church.

    The current scheduled completion date is 2048. It was originally sponsored by the Spanish government but this gentleman named Franco intervened and, well, things slowed a wee bit. I wonder if Chuck is used to sanctifying churches that won’t be finished in his lifetime. Oh and Barcelona is like the gay capital of Spain. This is delicious to me.

  6. 6.

    asiangrrlMN

    It always amuses me in a very dour, sour way to hear the pope (any pope) pontificating on the sanctity of marriage and how love between man and woman…pope, please. What you know about love between a man and a woman could fill a thimble and still have room left over for my thumb.

    I love this kind of protest. And, ABL, I hear you about gay clubs. It’s a relief sometimes.

  7. 7.

    Ross Hershberger

    More proof that the Pope is digging his heels in to halt the 20 mule train of progress and reality. I was raised Catholic. They didn’t make any sense to me in grade school either.

  8. 8.

    MAJeff

    I gotta think a queerkissflashmob is better than officially sanctioned child rape…then again, I’m not Catholic.

  9. 9.

    Ross Hershberger

    And WTF with that pic of the Popemobile. It’s green, for heaven’s sake. It looks like a damn aquarium in need of some algae treatment.

  12. 12.

    Roivas

    What the hell is up with old men who have never fallen in love or married pontificating about family?

    Oh yeah, and childfuckers. Never forget about the childfucking part.

  13. 13.

    Warren Terra

    Considering that when Pope Ratzi The Rhyming Slang went to London, the aforementioned Pontiff, despite famously being a former member of the Hitler Youth said that a growing Atheist movement threatened to revive Naziism, at least his bigoted, hateful, stupid messages are getting less obviously self-refuting and risible.

    PS there’s a weak joke there someplace about a church hierarchy full of bigots venerating a book full of begats …

  17. 17.

    Jay C

    And really – WTF IS up with that tacky little “popemobile”?? It looks like a Toyota HiLux pickup that some Italian mechanic banged together in his back garage working weekends.

    I know the Pope may (or may not) want to flaunt the affluence of the Church, but couldn’t they at least cobble up some kind of decent limo for him, or something??

  18. 18.

    walt

    My gaydar flipped into the red zone when I first saw a video of Cardinal Ratzinger prissily objecting to a reporter’s question. I think this is why Catholicism is such a tough pill to swallow nowadays. It’s all that lying, up and down, forward and backwards. There’s not enough truth in this vile, self-loathing patriarchy to fill a a thimble.

  19. 19.

    jacy

    If you don’t think gay people (or any variant along the male/female continuum) should have the same rights as straight people, you are a bigot. Plain and simple. It’s time that religion is no longer as an excuse to be a bigot. Somebody like that should not be allowed where decent people congregate.

    Of course I don’t know how anybody can not want to punch Pope Fester in his creepy face anyway.

  20. 20.

    asiangrrlMN

    @arguingwithsignposts: Steal away.

    @jacy: Agreed. This pope gives me the MAJOR creeps. I was actually having this discussion with a friend yesterday. Why is it that you can slap on ‘it’s in my religion’ and suddenly, no one is supposed to question you any further about your belief? What if I say it’s in my religion that everyone have at least one threesome in his/her life?* Seriously. You can sanction anything under the rubric, “It’s what I believe in my religion” and be done with it.

    *I am an ardent believer in Hedonism.

  21. 21.

    BC

    And isn’t it time for this pope to shuffle off this mortal coil and let his successor be pope? When he was elected back in 2005 and the explanation why they chose him was that they wanted a small interregnum between John Paul II and another long-serving pope. The conclave thought they would have this guy for 2 or 3 years, then be able to elect another one. The guy’s lasted longer than that. Should be moving to the next phase of life soon.

  22. 22.

    ckc (not kc)

    Is it just me or does this Sagrada Familia look like the Magical Kingdom in Disney World?

    …kill the lights – cue Tim Burton

  24. 24.

    monkeyboy

    Of the not many oversexed people I’ve known, and by oversexed I mean people who seem to want to have sex when ever possible and structure their activities around such, most all of them have been bisexual.

    So a gay bar is not definitely safe, though it is probably safer for a woman than a crowd of frat boys.

  25. 25.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Very Reverend Crimson Fire of Compassion: I can tell by your ‘nym that you would fit in very nicely within my church. I am the high priestess, by the way.

    @monkeyboy: That’s a pretty broad generalization* (and just because I fit the definition…). And, most guys go to gay bars to meet men. If they want to meet women, they go to straight bars. I have never been hit on by a man at a gay bar.

    *And I quibble with your definition of oversexed, anyway.

    @MAJeff: Hoooo boy. Yeah. That would be quite the sacrifice, but you have to eat.

  26. 26.

    MAJeff

    @asiangrrlMN:

    *I am an ardent believer in Hedonism.

    Me too. Moving to North Dakota destroyed it, though. Some people give up things for lent. I gave up gay for a job in North Dakota.

  27. 27.

    Bella Q

    Interesting views from a pope who is pretty clearly, um, gay. I mean his personal pontifical secretary is hot, hot, hot, in that queer-as-a-$3-bill-and-I’d-grab-him-in-a-flash-if-he-weren’t sort of way.

  28. 28.

    Hal

    I sometimes jokingly say that gay men are sort of like black women. There’s a lot of overlap there. Just think about it.

    Which immediately reminded me of the old Kids in the Hall monologue by Scott Thompson’s character Buddy:

    For instance, fags say things like girl, and sister, and what’s her problem? And foxy black mama’s say things like, girl, and sister, and what’s her problem?

    BTW, the monologue is a really great send up of racism and homophobia.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuLVv56YGXQ

  31. 31.

    Yutsano

    @Mark S.: If you see the Sagrada Familia in the context of the city of Barcelona, it fits right in. There are lots of brightly colored buildings and even a whole street in a similar architectural vein. Gaudi is an architorturist’s wet dream.

    (paging suzanne…)

  32. 32.

    Tattoosydney

    I quite like that the Emperor condemned gay marriage while sitting in the gayest building in the world in the gayest city in Spain.

    Well played, that man!

  36. 36.

    Yutsano

    @Tattoosydney: And the HAT! Don’t forget the gayest hat in existence! I mean, it had to start as a joke, right? See if they could get it acceptable to wear calamari on your noggin?

  38. 38.

    Dennis SGMM

    An old man wearing an outfit whose embellishments would make Liberace green with envy, and who tops that outfit with a penis-hat, tells gays to cool it.

    Riiiiiiiiiiight.

    For you, Pope: The Vatican Rag

  47. 47.

    Steeplejack

    DVR Alert!

    (Couldn’t decide which thread to hijack, but this one has to be a better shot than the NFL or “Plutonomy.”)

    Turner Classic Movies is going all Fritz Lang tonight:

    8:00 p.m. (EST): Metropolis (1927). The no-expenses-spared recent restoration with 30 minutes of “new” footage. “In a futuristic city sharply divided between the working class and the city planners, the son of the city’s mastermind falls in love with a working class prophet who predicts the coming of a savior to mediate their differences.” Present-day America, in other words.

    11:00 p.m.: “Metropolis Refound.” Documentary about the restoration.

    12:00 a.m.: Spies (1928). “Secret agent 326 tries to capture the master of an international spy ring.”

    2:30 a.m.: M (1931). “When the police are unable to catch a child-murderer, other criminals join in the manhunt.”

    Metropolis and M are both four-star, gold-plated classics. I haven’t seen Spies, but it should at least be interesting.

  49. 49.

    Dennis SGMM

    @Steeplejack:
    Thanks for the reminder. I’m hoping that Metropolis gets shown on a theater screen here during the TCM Classic Movie Festival. There’s no way that I can afford a pass so My dear wife and I will try for tickets at the box office.

  50. 50.

    Luthe

    @monkeyboy:
    Oh look, bisexual bashing. Newsflash: bisexual does not mean “oversexed” it means “twice as likely to have a date on Saturday night.”

    I totally stole that from Woody Allen.

  52. 52.

    Matt T.

    I sometimes jokingly say that gay men are sort of like black women. There’s a lot of overlap there. Just think about it.

    I work in a restaurant in the French Quarter with, among others, several boisterous middle-aged to elderly black ladies and one twentysomething guy who is, in his own words, “gay as press-on nails”. When I first started there, one of the ladies told me “[J] is an official black woman”, and [J] responded “And they’re official faggots.”

    I’m not sure if that’s verification, but if nothing else, there are those who agree with the sentiment. And in New Orleans, no less.

  53. 53.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    Viva España! (Note: Spain didn’t just legalize equal marriage.)

    A great way to remind Ratsy that no one has to listen to his ass, no one has to go to church, no one has to put money in the plate, and no one has to pay for his damn popemobile and red shoes.

    gives its support to everything that would promote the natural order in the sphere of the institution of the family: ^Man and woman get married and have lots of babies. Babies get sent to church. Priest rapes the babies.

    Fxd.

    Until the RCC still starts handing suspected baby rapists over to the cops, it needs to StFu about relationships between consenting adults.

  55. 55.

    Ross Hershberger

    Metropolis is my #1 favorite film of all time and has been for 30 years. Second place ain’t even close.
    Greatest Metropolis experience: seeing at the Detroit Film Theater in (I think) 1995 with live score by The Alloy Orchestra. Saw it 3 times.

  59. 59.

    hilzoy

    “If you don’t think gay people (or any variant along the male/female continuum) should have the same rights as straight people, you are a bigot. Plain and simple. It’s time that religion is no longer as an excuse to be a bigot.”

    Yep. And to be clear about it: Religion can give you a reason for thinking that homosexual acts are sinful, just as Catholicism can give you a reason for thinking that skipping mass is sinful. But most religions do not go on to say: and people who are sinners should not have equal rights. Certainly Christianity doesn’t. Why? For one thing, because we’re all sinners; for another, because even if you’re sinful (which I’m granting for the sake of argument; I don’t think gays are sinful any more than I think people who skip communion are), that does not mean you shouldn’t have rights.

    Has anyone recently proposed that the gluttonous, the wrathful, the slothful, or the proud should not have equal rights? I didn’t think so. I haven’t heard anyone propose even that having a specific sin should bar you from sin-related activities: e.g., that the gluttonous should be barred from grocery stores, or the avaricious from investment banks, or the vain from Neiman Marcus. If anyone did propose this, people would think that they were insane.

    And yet, for some reason, it doesn’t strike some of those same people as odd to think that if you believe that gays are sinful, you should believe that they should be deprived of rights. I will take these people seriously when they propose treating all the things they think are sins similarly.

  61. 61.

    Yutsano

    @Tattoosydney: Unfortunately the farthest south I’ve been in Europe is Munich. Which is my fault for not hopping the train and going to Vienna when I had the opportunity. Of course my laundry list of places to visit there is rather extensive, so I’d have to go for at least a month to get it all in.

  62. 62.

    Lancelot Link

    @BC – Should be moving to the next phase of life soon.
    I think he already has. He probably sleeps in a coffin filled with the earth of his homeland.

  65. 65.

    JMC in the ATL

    Pam’s House Blend was one of my favorite blogs for years, but I am pretty much done with Pam Spaulding.

    Apparently the President is a vile evil creature who had the audacity to dance with Indian school children during Diwali when he should have been personally repealing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.

    I shit you not. I don’t get how one can look at unadulterated joy in the world and filter it into malevolence or negligence. I’m kind of glad I don’t get it, but it still bothers me.

  68. 68.

    ET

    I find that Spain of all places being more open to gay marriage is “funny.” This was the country of the Inquisition after all where the Kings and Queens seemed to get their marching order from the Pope.

  69. 69.

    Hal

    @JMC

    Pam’s House Blend was one of my favorite blogs for years, but I am pretty much done with Pam Spaulding.

    Americablog and Pam’s lost me. It’s not even for me that some of their criticism isn’t dead on, it is; it’s the constant, non-stop attack no matter what the President does. If Obama takes a shit instead of repealing DADT, she writes an article on it.

    Her blog has also become a constant harp from the same damn commenters. No dissent, no difference of opinion. No subtlety. Just outrage, outrage, outrage.

  70. 70.

    JMC in the ATL

    Oh, absolutely, Hal. There’s a supposed “no personal attacks” rule whose selective enforcement is laughably transparent. I stopped readingthe comments a while ago, but the front page articles have started to become unreadable, and I think I am done.

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