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You are here: Home / I Am Sure This Will Go Well

I Am Sure This Will Go Well

by Tom Levenson|  November 18, 20104:32 pm| 60 Comments

This post is in: Bring on the Brawndo!, Fucked-up-edness

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Presented (almost) without comment, this thought from Texas Governor Rick Perry (R-Confederacy)

When host Chuck Todd then asked Perry if the U.S. military should cross the border to help Mexico combat drug cartels, Perry said “we have to have use every aspect of law enforcement that we have, including the military.”

“Obviously, Mexico has to approve any type of assistance that we can give them,” Perry said. “But the fact of the matter is these are people who are highly motivated, with money, they are vicious, they are armed to the teeth. And I want to see them defeated. And any means we can to run these people off our border and to save Americans’ lives, we need to be engaged in.”

There are no problems anywhere in the world, inhabited by anyone, speaking any language, that a dose of heavy ordnance won’t cure.  After all, ithis approach has been going so well lately.

Image:  Batalla de Monterrey, 1855

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60Comments

  1. 1.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    November 18, 2010 at 4:34 pm

    There’s a certain residence in the capital here in Texas that a dose of ordinance would do wonders for.

  2. 2.

    cleek

    November 18, 2010 at 4:38 pm

    the only thing those people understand is force. and once there, we’ll be greeted as liberators. freedom. tequila. sexy.

  3. 3.

    beltane

    November 18, 2010 at 4:39 pm

    Remember the Alamo? Rick Perry doesn’t.

  4. 4.

    Eric S.

    November 18, 2010 at 4:39 pm

    U.S. Military does not equal Law Enforcement

    Edited as the less than / greater than sign doesn’t work in html. Forgetful, forgetful, Eric.

  5. 5.

    Pangloss

    November 18, 2010 at 4:47 pm

    Fits in with newly-elected Rep. Joe Walsh (R-IL) who proclaimed Manifest Destiny as one of the 28 founding principles of the United States.

    P.S. We’re doomed.

    P.P.S. Doomed, I tells ya’!!

  6. 6.

    burnspbesq

    November 18, 2010 at 4:47 pm

    I would be perfectly OK with Texas seceding from the Union.

  7. 7.

    frogspawn

    November 18, 2010 at 4:47 pm

    Pancho Villa, bitches!

  8. 8.

    Davis X. Machina

    November 18, 2010 at 4:48 pm

    I thought these guys hated Woodrow Wilson — and now they want to emulate him? I’m confused.

  9. 9.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    November 18, 2010 at 4:49 pm

    @Pangloss:

    Principle 15 – The highest level of prosperity occurs when there is a free-market economy and a minimum of government regulations.

    That’s not a principle, that an Ayn Rand novel.

    ETA: With principle 25, is he advocating bringing all of our troops home and shrinking our military?

  10. 10.

    Brachiator

    November 18, 2010 at 4:50 pm

    In 1916 US Army General John J. Pershing was sent to Mexico to capture Pancho Villa. He spent nine months trying.

    Couldn’t do it.

    Villa retired in 1920 and was given a large estate which he turned into a “military colony” for his former soldiers. In 1923, he decided to re-involve himself in Mexican politics and as a result was assassinated, most likely on the orders of [Mexican president Álvaro] Obregon.

    Governor Perry needs to throw away his copy of “The Conservative’s Revisionist History of the Universe.” Nothing useful in it.

  11. 11.

    beltane

    November 18, 2010 at 4:53 pm

    @Pangloss: Is this the same Joe Walsh who sang “Life’s been good to me so far”?

  12. 12.

    Sentient Puddle

    November 18, 2010 at 4:54 pm

    @Belafon (formerly anonevent): You do realize the governor’s mansion was moltoved a few years back, no?

  13. 13.

    New Yorker

    November 18, 2010 at 4:55 pm

    “we have to have use every aspect of law enforcement that we have, including the military.”

    Since when is the fucking military involved in law enforcement? Jesus, they really do want to remake the US in the image of Pinochet’s Chile, don’t they?

  14. 14.

    freelancer

    November 18, 2010 at 4:56 pm

    @Pangloss:

    Life’s been good to him so far.

    Drat! Beltane beats me to the punch.

  15. 15.

    West of the Cascades

    November 18, 2010 at 4:56 pm

    The image looks more like Commodore Perry at Edo (Tokyo) Harbor in 1853 than the “Batalla de Monterrey.” No harbor near Monterrey (at least not the one in Mexico).

  16. 16.

    BGinCHI

    November 18, 2010 at 4:56 pm

    @beltane: In other news, the newly minted congressman from the Chicago suburbs has a Maserati that does, let’s see if I have this correct, 185. Sadly, he’s lost his license, and now he don’t drive.

  17. 17.

    jl

    November 18, 2010 at 4:57 pm

    Not sure I get the reference to Battle of Monterrey.

    Just a snarky reference to fact that Polk was upset that Taylor too generous to enemy in negotiating an armistice?

    Or that after the U.S. victory in the war, Mexico dissolved into chaos, with a rapid succession of unstable central governments? I think for for short periods, the U.S. didn’t even bother with the facade of a puppet government, and just told government officials what to do.

    The latter is the lesson I took. In that day, the U.S. could get the benefits of victory (land) and keep the cost (chaos in Mexico) at a distance. That cannot be the case today.

  18. 18.

    Zifnab

    November 18, 2010 at 5:00 pm

    @Sentient Puddle: Allegedly moltov’d. After Perry had spent months begging and begging for the Texas Legislature to fund an overhaul of the place.

    The Governor has been living large in his multi-million dollar backup mansion, so it’s not like he’s suffered for it.

    All that said, it’s been shown time and again that anything on the US side of the border is far safer than the Mexican side. Case in point, El Paso has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.

  19. 19.

    namekarB

    November 18, 2010 at 5:01 pm

    In a weird way, this only makes sense.

    Instead of invading failed states halfway around the world, we should be invading failed states closer to home. In Mexico’s case, it may just be a matter of annexing them.

    This would resolve the drug cartel problem and the immigration problem. Did I mention Mexico has oil reserves?

  20. 20.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    November 18, 2010 at 5:02 pm

    @Sentient Puddle: Yes, but I was imagining it would be occupied when the event occurred.

  21. 21.

    Legalize

    November 18, 2010 at 5:03 pm

    Which military, Governor Haircut? The Texas military? If not, kindly fuck the fuck off.

  22. 22.

    Crashman

    November 18, 2010 at 5:03 pm

    Nice how he suddenly needs the Federal Government’s resources for something.

  23. 23.

    The Bearded Blogger

    November 18, 2010 at 5:04 pm

    @beltane: Win.

    @Davis X. Machina: Woodrow Wilson wanted the United States to intervene in world affairs in order to provide a just world order.

    Republicans want the United States to intervene in world affairs.

  24. 24.

    SpotWeld

    November 18, 2010 at 5:04 pm

    A thought for Rick perry

    Let’s flip the equation.
    Should Mexican military and police forces be allowed to come into the US to persue and attack drug criminals?

  25. 25.

    Crashman

    November 18, 2010 at 5:05 pm

    @namekarB: Invading Mexico over Iran would save on fuel costs, at least.

  26. 26.

    Calouste

    November 18, 2010 at 5:06 pm

    Well, at least Mexico is closer than Iran.

    Other than that, does Perry have any kids who are going to volunteer for the military to face these “people who are highly motivated, with money, they are vicious, they are armed to the teeth. ” to “save Americans’ lives” (not their own presumably? No?

  27. 27.

    Lev

    November 18, 2010 at 5:07 pm

    I want this guy to run for President. Didn’t he used to be a Jesse Jackson-supporting Democrat? Fuck me, that’s such a huge flip-flop that Mittens can’t even beat it.

  28. 28.

    Zandar

    November 18, 2010 at 5:07 pm

    The problem the conservatives have yet to answer is who’s going to provide the cheap labor to build the dirt ramps for us to jump the Rio Grande with our tanks so we can blast Dixie and yell YEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAW while doing it.

  29. 29.

    The Bearded Blogger

    November 18, 2010 at 5:08 pm

    The United States is not the giant it used to be. With growing media complacency, plutocracy, polarized and ideologized politics, unwise foreign engagements and general wastefulness and ineptitude, it is not the superpower it used to be.

    If it comes down to USA vs the combined forces of the Tijuana and Juarez cartels, my money is on the cartels. Si se puede!

  30. 30.

    JGabriel

    November 18, 2010 at 5:08 pm

    Since there’s no more unpaid, racially based, slavery — just the wage kind — I say it’s time to let the South go.

    Let Texas, Arkansas, and the rest of Dixie split off into their own bastard mix of ante-bellum, Christian Fundamentalist, Randianism, leaving the rest of us to create our own little functional social democrat utopia.

    .

  31. 31.

    The Bearded Blogger

    November 18, 2010 at 5:10 pm

    @Lev: whut!? for realz?

    @Zandar: Nice image

  32. 32.

    JGabriel

    November 18, 2010 at 5:12 pm

    Spotweld:

    Should Mexican military and police forces be allowed to come into the US to persue and attack drug criminals?

    An even better question might be: Should Mexican military and police forces be allowed into the US to pursue the arms dealers and gun merchants who supply Mexico’s drug warlords?

    .

  33. 33.

    morzer

    November 18, 2010 at 5:13 pm

    But the fact of the matter is these are people who are highly motivated, with money, they are vicious, they are armed to the teeth.

    And they are different from the Republicans – how exactly?

  34. 34.

    fourlegsgood

    November 18, 2010 at 5:13 pm

    @Lev: No you DO NOT want him to run. He’s so stupid that in a contest between him and a post turtle, he’d lose, because he’s dumber than the actual post.

    Unfortunately he’s also very telegenic, charming and the teabaggers love him. He’d be a president so awful that he’d make us actually miss chimpy.

  35. 35.

    Rosalita

    November 18, 2010 at 5:13 pm

    @Belafon (formerly anonevent):

    I thought you were referring to Casa Bushie

  36. 36.

    Steeplejack

    November 18, 2010 at 5:14 pm

    @West of the Cascades:

    Battle of Monterey (California), 1846.

    ETA: FYWP!

  37. 37.

    BGinCHI

    November 18, 2010 at 5:16 pm

    @Zandar: Um, Mexicans, obviously.

  38. 38.

    West of the Cascades

    November 18, 2010 at 5:17 pm

    @Steeplejack: awesome, thanks!

  39. 39.

    The Bearded Blogger

    November 18, 2010 at 5:18 pm

    @fourlegsgood: Oh Perry is running, and winning, probably. He captures the current US zeitgeist/volkgeist/poltergeist perfectly. He’s the man of the hour.

  40. 40.

    JGabriel

    November 18, 2010 at 5:22 pm

    Commentz Win, Tie: Beltane & Morzer.

    .

  41. 41.

    Gus

    November 18, 2010 at 5:24 pm

    “Any means necessary” except the one that would help, legalization.

  42. 42.

    morzer

    November 18, 2010 at 5:25 pm

    @Lev:

    Repentance (without consequences) is big among the Talibangelicals. Perry just has to yip about seeing the light and all will be forgiven. Basically, these people are Carpocratean Gnostics:

    Carpocrates … taught his followers to perform every obscenity and every sinful act. And unless one proceeds through all of them, he said, and fulfils the will of all demons and angels, he cannot mount to the highest heaven or get by the principalities and authorities.

  43. 43.

    morzer

    November 18, 2010 at 5:28 pm

    @beltane:

    Remember the Alamo? Rick Perry doesn’t.

    Give him time and he’ll tell you won the Battle of the Armadillo alongside Ronald Reagan.

  44. 44.

    morzer

    November 18, 2010 at 5:30 pm

    @The Bearded Blogger:

    Actually, Perry is the national poltergeist. Lots of noises and upset furniture, but nothing there when you take a closer look.

  45. 45.

    Poopyman

    November 18, 2010 at 5:32 pm

    @fourlegsgood: Eww, yuck! Who’d want to have a beer with that guy?

  46. 46.

    Linda Featheringill

    November 18, 2010 at 5:36 pm

    @Belafon (formerly anonevent):

    [#9]

    That’s not a principle, that an Ayn Rand novel.

    Au contraire, that is a Rule of Acquisition.

  47. 47.

    thoughtcrime

    November 18, 2010 at 5:40 pm

    Gov. Goodhair didn’t learn any lessons from the Bush era.

    If our citizens are attacked on US soil by criminals originating from Mexico, we should invade Venezuela.

  48. 48.

    Nutella

    November 18, 2010 at 5:47 pm

    @Steeplejack:

    And that was the second time the US Navy made an unauthorized raid on Monterey California. Thomas ap Catesby Jones seized Monterey in 1842 but he had to give it back the next day.

    They didn’t greet him as a liberator, either.

  49. 49.

    kdaug

    November 18, 2010 at 5:51 pm

    @thoughtcrime: Incorrect. Goodhair learned all the right lessons – he knows who the PTB are to shack up with.

    Perry/Palin? Man, that just EXUDES stardom. The networks will eat it up. (Sorry, Todd).

  50. 50.

    PeakVT

    November 18, 2010 at 5:55 pm

    But the fact of the matter is these are people who are highly motivated, with money, they are vicious, they are armed to the teeth.

    Why does Perry want to keep these tireless entrepreneurs from making a profit?

  51. 51.

    Zifnab

    November 18, 2010 at 6:01 pm

    @morzer: I wish. You don’t have to look much farther than all the toll road construction, the massively inflated tuition rates, and the non-existent government services to really hate that guy.

    Perry and Bush have been the ban of Texas for nearly a generation. The low tax based drew in a bunch of corporate headquarters, and that’s kept Texas rich and happy for a while. But the gravy train has to let off somewhere. Our $25 billion state budget shortfall is going to make that stop sooner than we like to think.

  52. 52.

    kdaug

    November 18, 2010 at 6:09 pm

    @Zifnab:

    Aaand – that’s why we have to “opt out” of Medicaid.

  53. 53.

    morzer

    November 18, 2010 at 6:18 pm

    @Zifnab:

    Out of interest, is Texas going Hispanic? I seem to remember demographers speculating that in the not too distant future Texas might turn an interesting shade of Hispanic blue.

  54. 54.

    MTiffany

    November 18, 2010 at 6:22 pm

    we have to have use every aspect of law enforcement that we have, including the military.

    I wonder if this douchewaffle has ever even heard of the Posse Comitatus Act of 1878. Probably has, just doesn’t like the federal government telling itself what if can (or can’t) do with its own military.

  55. 55.

    Ash Can

    November 18, 2010 at 6:31 pm

    @The Bearded Blogger:

    Woodrow Wilson wanted the United States to intervene in world affairs in order to provide a just world order.
    __
    Republicans want the United States to intervene in world affairs so they and their wealthy buddies can get even wealthier, and/or to compensate for their abnormally small penises.

    There ya go.

  56. 56.

    Davis X. Machina

    November 18, 2010 at 7:03 pm

    @The Bearded Blogger: But for that unfortunate incident in Sarajevo, the chasing of Messican bad guys around the SW would otherwise have been the extent of WW’s wartime presidenting….

  57. 57.

    Jrod the Cookie Thief

    November 18, 2010 at 7:09 pm

    @The Bearded Blogger:

    Woodrow Wilson wanted the United States to intervene in world affairs in order to provide a just world order.

    To WW, “just world order” meant “domination by the white race.” Also, “stay out of the war in Europe” meant “join the war in Europe.”

    No reason to lionize a worthless piece of shit like Wilson.

  58. 58.

    bjacques

    November 18, 2010 at 8:18 pm

    Nein! Nein! Das ist falsch!

    Well, I’d be happy for some of Perry’s dipshits to reenact the Mier expedition and then have the Mexican army make them draw beans to see who gets shot. By “Mexican army,” I mean “the Zetas” and by “drawing beans” I mean “having their heads chopped off and shoved up their asses.”

  59. 59.

    bcinaz

    November 18, 2010 at 8:51 pm

    these are people who are highly motivated, with money, they are vicious

    is he refering to Mexican Drug Lords or the Koch Brothers and the US Chamber of Commerce?

  60. 60.

    Suffern Ace

    November 19, 2010 at 12:43 am

    What a stupid question from Chuck Todd. Well, at least Perry allowed for the fact that Mexico would need to give permission for U.S. troops to enter the country, and I’m certain that in reality, Mexico would agree to no such thing. But I guess it is worthwhile to plan for the contingency that the government of Mexico would want such a thing even as it is having one heck of a crises with drug gangs.

    It’s great to talk tough about stuff like that. For instance, I would definitely kick Mike Tyson’s ass if I ever met him in an alley. Unfortunately, I never walk through alleys so the speculation is rather much a waste of time.

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