Reporting from the intersection of Oversharing Ave and Political Grandstanding Blvd, Adrian Chen at Gawker introduces us to the worst pro-life campaigners since Beccah Beushausen’s Internet hoax:
The Arnolds are having a baby. Unless the public votes to have the child aborted. Meet the couple behind Birthornot.com, where “you can vote and choose whether we abort or keep our unborn child.”
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Pete and Alisha Arnold, both 30, both tech professionals, live in the Minneapolis suburb of Apple Valley and have been married for 10 years. Since September, they’ve blogged about their expected child at birthornot.com, posting health updates about the mother and the fetus (which will be 17 weeks-old tomorrow), and ultrasound pictures and video. But at the top of the blog is a poll hosted by PollDaddy.com. The question: “Should We Give Birth or Have an Abortion?” “Give Birth” has 46 percent of the vote at the moment, with “Have an Abortion” at 54 percent. The poll closes on December 7th.
[…] __
That someone would do this is almost impossible to believe, of course. We asked the Arnolds if this was some sort of a prank. “No, it’s not. We are taking this very seriously,” Pete replied. We then asked if this was some sort of convoluted pro-life stunt. Alisha laughed. “It’s definitely not a pro-life campaign,” she said. “I believe in a woman’s right to choose.”
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According to the couple, they’ve been unsure about whether they’re ready to be parents and have concluded that the best way to proceed is to ask random people on the Internet if they should have the child. (Tests have revealed that the fetus is a boy.) Alisha said that two pregnancies ended in two miscarriages in the past year and a half. During the second pregnancy, the couple bought the birthornot.com domain, and were in the process of deciding whether to put the birth up to a vote when they lost the baby. When Alisha got pregnant a third time a few months ago, they decided to launch birthornot.com…
I went and read their website. My vote: Read Chen’s article, which is more than fair, and don’t give these poseurs further clicks. Yes, the Arnolds are “pro-life” (anti-choice); not even the most committed thought-experimenters posts ultrasound pictures of the fetus they’re calling “Baby Wiggles” (and blogs exhaustively about their deeply felt love and commitment to each other and posterity) just to establish their impeccable impartiality. The whole thing is a deeply unserious attempt to “creatively” re-frame, yet again, the same tired arguments about a medical procedure:
Pete, who described himself as a Libertarian, framed the couple’s majority-rule abortion as kind of an extreme civics lesson that he hoped would bring the abortion debate home. “Voting is such an important part of who we are as a people,” Pete said. “Here’s a chance where people can be heard about whether they are pro-choice or whether they are pro-life, and it makes a difference in the real world.”
And once Pete & Alisha have finished their long-tried-for, hopefully successful pregnancy, they’re going to start protesting insurance coverage for gall bladder operations (the greedy pigs who need them could just commit to living on an ultra-low-fat diet, after all). Or take up the burning question of our tax dollars being wasted on Medicaid prostate-cancer screening, since most of those old goats will die from other causes long before their tumors metastasize. No woman with the resources to access blogs on the internet fails to realize that abortion terminates the existence of a potential human being; serious arguments involve weighting an individual pregnant woman’s needs against those of the individual fetus(es) within her body. Those of us who are proudly pro-choice believe that each woman should be free to decide for herself whether or not to carry a particular pregnancy to term; all else is commentary.
I’ll give the Arnolds this much credit: No “DONATE” button on the front page of their blog, at least. But I vote with Chen:
Regardless of your position on abortion, all of these possibilities suggest these people should never, ever raise a kid.
mclaren
I’m really missing the option to abort the couple instead of the kid. That, I’d vote for twice.
Wile E. Quixote
Is there an option where we can vote that they have the kid, give it up for adoption to some parents who aren’t completely fucked up and narcissistic assholes and then have themselves sterilized?
freelancer
Sadly, there’s nothing pro-choice activists can do to parody pro-lifers that pro-life individuals and organizations haven’t already done or gone beyond the pale.
Silly nine-year-old girls shouldn’t be having sex with their step-fathers. That’s a sin, dontcha know. Good thing
the churcha cabal of fascistic, misogynistic, and celibate men was able to find it in their hearts to forgive her.beltane
I can’t put my finger on it, but Darwin’s theory of natural selection is coming to mind. It is tragic that there are people like this out there who somehow manage to find sex partners.
Southern Beale
Well as soon as I saw that on Gawker I knew it was a pro-life stunt. Refused to click on the story OR go to their website and I refuse to even Tweet about this. The absolute worst thing that could happen is if this becomes the latest “viral” cause celebre.
Ignore these fuckers. Please. The idea that women approach abortion in such a cavalier manner is beyond insulting. It’s not a fucking game, it’s people’s lives. The very fact that they’re treating it like the fucking Wheel of Fortune lets you know they’ve never been in a desperate situation forced to make a difficult decision. Fuck them with a rusty saw, three ways.
Fuck. Did I say that already? Fuck them again.
beltane
@freelancer: I read that the stepfather/rapist also wasn’t excommunicated, because the rape of young children does not violate God’s law.
Maude
The sanctity of human life on display.
They are beyond crazy.
Douglas
@beltane:
Well, who would the people like that belonging to respective other sex sleep with otherweise?
freelancer
@beltane:
Good thing our country’s based on the 10 Commandments, which forbid neither rape nor child abuse.
Mnemosyne
Wasn’t there someone else a year or so ago who did the same thing? I think in that case they were claiming to be a young unmarried couple, but I’m too lazy to Google for it.
Wile E. Quixote
@freelancer:
Well don’t you know that it’s her fault for dressing like a slut?
Lysana
@Wile E. Quixote:
Beat me to it. It’s an outpatient procedure for both genders these days thanks to advances in technology and a system I won’t name in case it’s a spam trigger.
beltane
@Douglas: They can marry Jesus and commit to a life of chastity and repentance. When it comes to people like this, sex really is a sin.
gnomedad
I’d vote for them to STFU.
PhoenixRising
Where do I click to vote for ‘Place your healthy white baby with an adoption agency then abort yourselves’?
Because this kind of arrogant should hurt.
freelancer
@Mnemosyne:
If you do Google, you’ll probably find that it’s the same couple. They claim to have had two miscarriages and this pregnancy is their 3rd, and they’re putting it up to an internet poll. If true, these are the dumbest people alive. If a hoax, they’re some shameless fucks.
Hunter Gathers
Attention any potential alien overlords : please invade NOW. I implore you. The simple fact that these two idiots are reproducing should provide you the proof that we are ripe for the taking.
beltane
@freelancer: If true, perhaps this is evidence that God exists.
lamh32
This is not quite on topic, but it does relate.
Joy Behar talking about Women/couples who chose to live without wanting or having kids on her HLN show. Recent studies show that 1 in 5 women will chose to never give birth compared to 1 in 10 giving birth 10 years ago. I include myself in that group. When I imagine my future, I don’t see it including children (sadly, it’s doesn’t seem to include a S.O. either, but that’s for another topic…lol). So discussions about abortions for me or ONLY about personal choice. No one should have the right tell a woman what to do with their bodies. And I really hate heavy-handed stuff like this particurlary.
badgerfan
@freelancer: @Maude: How is this any different than the people who named their kid after that singularly infamous German (whose name gets a spam filter thrown on the comment) ?
Edit: it appears it’s a hoax: http://blogs.citypages.com/blotter/2010/11/gawker_falls_fo.php
freelancer
@beltane:
I don’t buy it. This is all too likely the delusion of a pair of godbotting fucktards who believe they’re fighting the good fight for an Almighty that has no concept of nuance or complication. Their concept of the Creator of the Universe is one of a capricious, totalitarian dolt.
zuzu
Here’s the tell:
Anyone who was pro-choice would not equate a vote on this kind of stunt with being pro-choice or pro-life. Because pro-choicers understand that being pro-choice does not mean wanting every woman to abort. And that’s clearly the false dichotomy he’s setting up here.
Also, what’s with the anti-choice libertarians? So many of them out there. Rather un-Randian of them.
Ajabu
When I was 25 I got the 19 year old love of my life pregnant.
We opted for abortion because she was a college freshman, first in her family in college, I was an immature young asshole without a functioning career, etc. This was 1967. Abortion was completely illegal.
It was incredibly complicated and expensive to let this young girl have the life she deserved to have. Through the intervention of some right thinking people we were directed out of state to a doctor with some sense and took care of it. It was not a game for us. It was a life changing situation. I’m 70 years old now, she’s deceased, but we made 20 more years more or less together and I’m grateful for what we had.
And fuck these lunatic motherfuckers!
SRW1
These guys are frivolous a**holes. As are the people who vote on that stunt.
TR
Read the update. Definitely a bizarre pro-life stunt.
gbear
The people who live in the suburbs around the Twin Cities are just so fucked up.
asiangrrlMN
@lamh32: Count me in the group. And, if abortion is ever outlawed, then girls better be able to get their tubes tied at any age.
I am appalled and disgusted at this stunt (though not shocked, sadly). These two people should not be parents. Ever.
@gbear: Holy shit. I did not click. They fucking live in fucking Apple Valley! That fucking explains it. Though, I object to your generalization. I live in a suburb of the Cities and I am not fucked up–oh, wait a minute.
Jim, Once
@Southern Beale:
And again.
And wait, wait, wait a minute . . . about the libertarian shit. Isn’t the whole schtick about libertarianism is that you do what you should decide to do as an individual? So you wait for some anonymous voters to tell you whether you should end the life of your embryo? I don’t get it. But I do think the whole deal might be that they’re trying to pull all of us pro-choice folks into some pit that makes us look like we don’t care about life in the womb. Gah. They make me sick.
Ailuridae
@lamh32:
Recent studies show that 1 in 5 women will chose to never give birth compared to 1 in 10 giving birth 10 years ago. I include myself in that group.
Wow, that number seems incredibly high.
Obviously this couple are simply awful people. Unsurprisingly. they self-identify as libertarians.
Dee Loralei
There’s some serious fuckupedness going on there.
And on top of that, they have the entire pro-choice debate completely wrong. I wouldn’t vote in their poll, because it’s none of my business whether they have that baby or not. But I do vote that they give the baby up for adoption and either both immediately get fixed or DIAF, because no child deserves them for parents.
Seriously, what new kind of fuckery are we going to see next week? Next month? Next year?( From these people, and the far right people like them.) What in the name of Terri Schiavo can these fucktards not also bastardize for their own selfish political aims? Is nothing sacred? Have you no shame sir? Have you no shame? What kind of twisted, stunted, sick pathology has infected the far right of this nation over the last decade, but especially the last few years?
I swear, I need to start freebasing Absynthe and injecting THC into my eyeballs to get through the next few years.
I honestly do not get how anyone who has been through two recent miscarriages can even think about joking about something like this. I’d be too afraid karma, or even a Just and Angry God, would jump up at get me for this stunt. Honestly, I do not want to understand why a sick fuck like this couple is would do this, even if they have no intention of aborting the fetus. These people need to be shunned by the news media, by anyone who’s ever suffered a miscarriage, by any one who’s had to make a painful choice of abortion and by anyone who ever wanted to conceive but hasn’t. In other words, they need to be shunned by all good and decent people everywhere.
God Damn these people to hell!
Mark S.
Sorry ladies, The Pete is taken.
via
freelancer
@Dee Loralei:
And this would be different from the Christian strawmen understandings of stem cells, evolution, science, atheism, sexuality, and pretty much everything else they are against, how exactly?
Wile E. Quixote
@mclaren:
Oh yeah, if that were an option I’d wait until everyone had gone to lunch and then go around to all of my co-worker’s computers and login and vote for that option, but then I’d wipe their browser caches and reset their preferences so that no one could tell that I did it.
Jim, Once
@zuzu:
Exactly. The fact that I am pro-choice does NOT mean I want abortions everywhere. It took me years to make this point to my parents in a way they understood what I was saying. But I’m simple. Still, again . . . aagh.
asiangrrlMN
@Wile E. Quixote: Joe Miller, Alaska! And, I didn’t even have to click on the link. What do I win?
Michael Bersin
@Hunter Gathers:
Win.
Realize that once they invade they have to toss us back because we don’t collectively meet minimum galactic intelligence standards.
suzanne
While we’re at it, I could come up with a whole list of people who I’d like to abort. Ironically, most of them are anti-choice assholes.
Wile E. Quixote
@asiangrrlMN:
If you’re ever in Seattle I will take you to dinner at Po Dogs. I recommend the Deep Fried Danger Dog.
suzanne
@Dee Loralei:
SERIOUSLY. I remember thinking that I’d have a flipper baby just because I say “Jesus fuck” a lot.
asiangrrlMN
@asiangrrlMN: And of course, upon rereading AL’s post, I see that it’s included in the first excerpt. Fuck Apple Valley!
@Wile E. Quixote: YUM! When I go there to visit my fake-hubby (Yutsano) and
soak him for all he’s worthsee one of Gwangung’s plays, I’ll take you up on the offer.Comrade Misfit
I think Margaret Atwood was right when she said that if you judge by the results, there is no difference between stupidity and evil.
Wile E. Quixote
@asiangrrlMN:
Wait, I thought that TattooSydney was your fake hubby.
Jrod the Cookie Thief
You know, as opposed to voting in the biannual national elections for the lawmakers who control access to abortions in our country, and even oftentimes beyond our borders. That’s just some silly game. Just vote for whoever had the best commercials, if it’s not some kinda inconvenience.
And don’t forget to keep voting for Bristol Palin on DWTS!
gbear
@asiangrrlMN: OK, not everyone from the suburbs is fucked up (disclosure: I grew up in North St. Paul/Maplewood), but Apple Valley just fits so well as the place that this couple would live.
Suffern ACE
It’s stuff like this that makes me wonder if it isn’t time to just take the internet away. Or just use it for porn like it was meant for. Immense freedom to use the darn thing to do anything you want and well “Boooooogaaarrr” is all you get most of the time. The military can have it back.
asiangrrlMN
@Wile E. Quixote: He is. He’s FH#1. Yutsy is FH#2. El Cid is FH#3. jl is FH#4. jibeaux is my fake-wife (but she doesn’t remember proposing). Yutsy brought suzanne into the family as well. And, I have an outstanding proposal to Tunchie.
@gbear: Yes. I agree. Anoka would have worked as well.
gbear
@Wile E. Quixote: Are those desert hot dogs for real?? Everything about them sounds good until you add the hot dog. Then they sound awful.
Wile E. Quixote
@gbear:
Everything there is real, although I haven’t tried anything from the
dude, I’m so fucking high, and I’ve got killer munchiesdessert menu yet.Dee Loralei
@suzanne: I drank some, which my Doc said was totally OK in moderation and was still terrified up until my perfect baby boy was born.
And part of my terror was because some judgmental busybody sent me an editorial cartoon, clipped from our local paper, sent anonymously to my home. The cartoon was of a woman buying cigarettes and booze and at the checkout stand in the picture was a newspaper with a headline about an epidemic of crack babies and kids with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. I had a major panic attack after I opened the mail that day, I honestly thought I was going to miscarry. Having never had a panic attack before, I had no idea how abjectly terrifying they can be. I’ve never figured out who sent it. And even more than 20 years later, I’ve never forgiven the person who put me into that state, either.
So, yea, I get what you were saying about being worried because you say Jesus fuck a lot.
asiangrrlMN
@Ajabu: I just saw this. I’m really sorry that you and your girl had to go through that, but I am so glad you found people willing to stick their necks out and help you.
frosty
@Wile E. Quixote: @freelancer: No one who has had two miscarriages would even consider something like this. Period. It’s bullshit.
Yutsano
@gbear: @Wile E. Quixote: There is another option for dessert: the Macrina cookies. Anything that place makes is fucking amazing. Plus the SODO location is right down the street from my work.
kay
This is exactly why I’ll always support Roe. I simply don’t trust pro-lifers to take individual women into account, when making a difficult call.
These people are taking their story and stretching it to fit a broad policy/legal frame, and that isn’t how pregnancies, or woman’s lives, are.
It’s also dishonest and slyly cruel, which is really the hallmark of pro-life activism. There’s nothing about this stunt that speaks to love or respect or acknowledgment of individual women. It’s a broad hypothetical carefully couched in their specifics, and that’s done to mislead.
If pro-lifers want to know why I won’t vote to change the law to disallow abortion, they have only to look at how they treat all women and all situations the same, with these silly sentimental greeting card frames that assume all pregnancies (and women, and situations) fit their preconceived notion of “mother”. That’s not true, it’s never been true, it’s a fairy tale, and everyone who listens to women (and mothers) knows it. It’s much, much more real than that.
I can’t rely on them to protect woman’s lives, so I have to allow women to protect themselves, and make the call. Sorry. No trust here.
b-psycho
I suspect that’s why “abort it” was winning before the cover got blown.
boatboy_srq
I haven’t succumbed to looking at their blog, but I am curious: are “keep it” and “abort it” the only options? Because it strikes me powerfully that the pro-lifers insist there are so many other choices available for “unwanted children:” adoption, foster care, etc. Surely if they were at all interested in the child’s well-being they would include these options – and equally surely that as they apparently have not, the lack of such options indicates the false nature of their inquiry.
There’s also the “click-to-abort” false simplicity in the choice: we’re talking about a significant, traumatic, life-changing procedure, and they’re making the decision sound as simple as a quick index-finger-to-mouse process. I don’t even have words for the obscenity inherent in that presumption.
Setting up the debate with only these two possible outcomes is the textbook definition of deception through oversimplification.
And by ‘blogging about their situation, complete with reader poll, it’s clear their whole position isn’t pro-choice or anti-choice: it’s about abdicating choice.
I’d be all for revoking their right to breed right along with their right to vote, since they show so little understanding of either process.
chopper
i’m not giving them any clicks either, but i’d click ‘abort’ just so these assholes are prevented from having or raising any children at all. sorry kiddo, but your parents are complete lunatics and that shit is hereditary anyways. you’d be a serial killer by the time you’re 20 anyways.