Your team sucks and your cheerleaders are ugly.
Good to see the blog has not been reduced to smoking ruins. I had a funny dream last night that all of you had somehow gotten access to post on the front page, and in your collective wisdom decided to do nothing else but make Tunch fat jokes.
Gozer
That sounds about right.
EDIT: Dreaming about commenters Mr. Cole? You need to get out more.
West of the Cascades
Go U Northwestern!! Wildcats over Illinis in the Friendly Confines. Half-court football!!
wmd
Tunch is fat? Whocouldanode?
Chyron HR
They’re more like fat koans.
Linda Featheringill
Tunch:
And how is the substantial gentleman today?
sal
Well, you know what they say about pets and their owners… ;-)
SiubhanDuinne
That was no dream!
FoxinSocks
John,
That’s not a dream, that’s a premonition.
aimai
How well you know us.
aimai
Moses2317
I’m just hoping that the Wolverines hold Wisconsin to under 100 points. Yes, I’m quite depressed about the way our defense has played this year.
Winning Progressive
Scott P.
Great, who spilled the beans on our Christmas surprise?
Taylormattd
I’d like to leave a complaint about the commenters with the ombudsman.
What? Too soon?
lamh32
I’m guessing there’s not much love for “the barracuda” in the Bush family!
B Bush: Palin Should Stay Put
AhabTRuler
No John, you have it wrong: Fat makes Tunch jokes.
lamh32
Morning all,
Sadly, I really only watch one college “bowl” game a year, and that’s the Bayou Classic (It’s a “Black thing”…actually, more of an HBCU thing really), so this weekend was shaping up to be a bummer, but then VH1 decided to show Dirty Dancing, my favoredest (pronounced like my lil nephew) movie almost evah. So the weekend is starting to look up!
Fun fact, Kenny Ortega the choreographer for much of the original Dirty Dancing movie was also the director/choreographer for Michael Jackson’s “This Is It” Tour and MJ memorial, and for the 3 decent into madness that was the “High School Musical” trilogy!
The only sad, is that Patrick Swazye is of course no longer with us.
geg6
I can’t be bothered with college football when I have a true dilemma on my hands and can’t count on BJ to help, based on my request for comments on the propriety of showing cleavage at my John’s client’s party tonight. I have made the executive decision that the cleavage is fine, but now can’t decide which pencil skirt to wear, the shorter but conservative one or the longer one with the high slit.
If you want a good post about our political situation as it stands today, I must recommend Steve Benen’s truth-telling post regarding the GOP’s motives. It is, sadly, so true that no one with a megaphone will ever say it, but nice to see that not everyone chooses to ignore the elephant in the room, so to speak.
trollhattan
Not fat, big-boned.
Our cheerleaders are all knocked up and our team can’t even find the bus.
Just Some Fuckhead
@geg6: Send me pics in all the various outfits and I will choose: jack dott jackson zero five one two att gmail dott com.
Maody
Mao Mao is more beautiful and almost as fat as Tunch, but maybe not as big. Re your dream, you need some images man. I have dreams about circles of acrobats, bears and flying people in tutus – the stuff of paintings & poems.
And also, too, go NCSU!, no go Tarheels!, no, go Wolfpack! Maybe more pro agents will stop by to say howdy and play Let’s Make a Deal.
Tim F.
The ghost of Sir Alec Guinness says: That’s no moon!
burnspbesq
My team did suck this year (first losing season in almost 20 years), but it’s mercifully over and our hockey team is off to the best start since it moved up to Division 1.
And now college basketball has started, and Duke is drinking everyone’s milkshakes and slow-dancing with their dates. All is well. Looking forward to seeing them against Oregon in Portland next weekend. And spouse has somehow secured Final Four tickets.
JaB
Go Cards!
Woo hoo!
This will be the high point of the game for us.
burnspbesq
@Taylormattd:
I think the ombudsman is going to recommend a free-market solution: you know who you think is an asshole, so just scroll past their comments.
Fuzz
You know who sucks? The Big East, omfg is that conference bad. They’re possibly going to send an unranked team into a BCS game.
licensed to kill time
@lamh32: She forgot to add “Bless her heart”. Meeeooow!
Michael D.
@Taylormattd:
I rarely actually LOL at anything. But this, I did.
neill
Bears!!!
Give ’em the ax, the ax, the ax, the ax!
RedKitten
@geg6:
The general rule of thumb is that showing over 40% of your skin crosses the line from sexy to skanky. If it’s a work thing, adjust accordingly. How short is the conservative pencil skirt? I’m thinking that as long as it’s no more than an inch or two above the knee, that’s your better bet. The skirt with the slit will draw attention to your legs, while the cleavage-y top is drawing attention to your breasts, and it’s just too much of too much, you know?
And where you’re going a bit sexified with the clothes, keep it demure with the accessories, makeup and hair. This is not a time for big hair and red lipstick. A simple, sleek hairdo, sparkling (but not jangling) jewelry, and perhaps a slightly smoky brown shadow on the eye and a slightly glossy nude lip?
burnspbesq
The only thing worth saying about Tarholes vs. Wuffies was said by the Duke of Verona in Act 5 of Romeo and Juliet.
Evolved Deep Southerner
Man, is that Northwestern/Illinois-at-Wrigley-Field thing going over like a fart in church, or what?
I could give a tinker’s damn who wins, but I’ve got to watch that game just to see how that whole switching-over-like-the-end-of-a-quarter-at-the-end-of-every-series thing works.
Word to the defensive secondaries: If you intercept it and start running back to the other end zone, pull up at about the 10. Six-point INTS are nice, but be wise and save yourselves.
Otherwise, expect a class action lawsuit from everybody who bought a ticket on the other side of the 50 toward that dead end zone. What a gyp!
duquesne_pdx
/delurk
Tunch isn’t fat. It’s just that your floor joists are in sorry shape.
Go Ducks! (I come by it honestly: 22 years in Oregon will do that to you)
/relurk
BeccaM
@geg6: Cleavage or leg, pick one. Don’t give the male brain two things to stare at other than your face or they tend to explode.
You Don't Say
My team(s) is awesome. Go Badgers!
Mako
I don’t understand, but here’s a picture of a cat with a furry white beanbag chair draped seductively over its entire body.
You Don't Say
@geg6: No cleavage, long skirt with slit.
Yes, Benen’s post was all too accurate. But the GOP will scream ‘small businesses!’ no matter what hypocrisy they are confronted with.
S. cerevisiae
After a promising start the Beavers have fallen apart lately, I just hope they can beat the Ducks in the civil war and ruin their undefeated season (tall order, I know).
But my UMD Bulldogs are number one! Get the sweep in Madison tonight!
nalbar
Tunch is so fat that when he auditioned for a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark he got the part of the rolling rock.
nalbar
russell
Tunch so fat, when he lays around the house, he really lays *around the house*.
Mister Papercut
I missed the beginning of the shenanigans yesterday, so by the time I got caught up, I saw myself out. No desire to partake in Internet Dramaz on a Friday night.
Though I hope I’m not too late to get in on the Tunch fat jokes, also too.
meh
no one is making tunch is fat jokes – those jokes make themselves…
Punchy
Who do I have to pay to rid me of this hangover and ensure my Hawks crush Ohio Suck University?
MattR
@Mister Papercut: Nice pic (hopefully FYWP allows this comment through)
JCJ
@You Don’t Say:
Indeed! Go Badgers!
My undergrad school was Purdue so I hope we do you a big favor today. I was at the Badger game last week against IU. Oh my!
bjacques
I still can’t get a straight answer on whose orange tabby Tunch is always sitting on.
The Dangerman
Tunch fart jokes? We’d never.
henqiguai
@BeccaM (#32): Yeah, now I’m just goofing around; but
Hey ! But I’d go more with the admonition of going somewhat conservative. Never, ever, give the bastards a lever; in this case, leverage into your partner. Anything beyond conservative and it will be spun into slutty for some future consideration. Or am I channeling too much of my own corporate political wars experiences into this thing ?
befuggled
@Moses2317: Not as bad as I’d feared it would be. Horrible first half, though.
Wilson Heath
Given that the day after Thanksgiving is a slow news day apart from whatever shopping-related violence, I suggest all front-pagers do Fat Joke Friday. It’s nice to make dreams come true.
(Except my dreams. I had a nightmare that the TV was playing the Palin reality [sic] show and I was unable to change the channel. Really. Cold sweat.)
nalbar
Cowards
burnspbesq
A strange thing is happening in Atlanta. Duke is beating Georgia Tech. In football. At least for now.
D-Chance.
Your team sucks and your cheerleaders are ugly.
Hey, now… my team was ugly and the cheerleaders sucked.
God, I loved college.
JCT
Go Bears! Sigh. Lousy year for us.
Cal ’84
And yes I was in the stands for The Play. We made John Elway cry!
You Don't Say
I’ve got on my Hawkeye’s sweatshirt! Go Iowa!
shortstop
Guy, you were the only one who ever worried that it would be. You’ve got to stop letting us push your buttons like that. Have another Hungry Man and ask Tunch to scratch the spot on your back that you can’t reach because of your shoulder.
gwangung
@JCT:
BOOOOOOOOO!
(On the other hand, I consider Cal to be the gold standard in rivals. Only Cal could come up with something like that to win a rivalry game).
BTW. 44-0.
JCT
@gwangung: Yes, and I suppose that today they are going to make me cry.
Yikes, what a shellacking.
Really, all of my favorite sports teams have been awful this year. Cal sucking is just icing on the cake.
daverave
@D-Chance.: @JCT:
hey, me too!
Today was a bad way to see out the old Memorial.